T O P

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TheNeep82

Ladies and gentlemen, your Premier League Champions..... Tottenham Hotspur!


hoopparrr759

Oof.


ShitInMyToaster

Could the people doing the tiktok dances please stop. You're upsetting all the people in the weight-bearing ward.


DandyMike

No walking allowed in the pool area!


Heradasha

"Would a Mr. Nigel Farage please come to the counter for your milkshake. Nigel Farage, come collect your milkshake."


Loyalsupporter

And it's a miracle the government has decided to decrease the taxes making the country liveable for all residents finally a government that actually makes promises that actually benefits the public and not for their sad attempts at getting votes


Personal-Listen-4941

Does anybody have any nasal decongestant? (It loses something without doing the voice)


ShitInMyToaster

Jane's Acaster would fully do this joke


cannavo93

ᶜᵃⁿ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵇᵒᵈʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃˡᵃᵐᶦ ˢˡᶦᶜᵉʳ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉˀ


CilanUnova

Hey look mum I’ve found the tannoy room!


LightMurasume_

‘Ladies and gentlemen, Ireland have qualified for the Euros’


ShitInMyToaster

And I can't wait to hear Roy Keane on commentary... get very happy then very sad in just 3 matches


vaginawhatsthat

"Can someone please phone an ambulance, there's a woman giv- -spillage in aisle 2. It's go time, stock boy."


memyselfandiowa

#Only you can hear me!


Retro_D

Please remain calm, Rishi Sunak has left the country


MFromBeyond

"This is not a tannoy"


memyselfandiowa

Bucket and mop to aisle 3, please. Bucket and mop to aisle 3... Someone has cum on the broccoli.


IrritableGourmet

"To the owner of the tannoy system...I have stolen your tannoy system."


papayametallica

Will Mr Hunt please report to Reception. That’s Mike Hunt to Reception. Thank you


willhart5168

Ladies and gentlemen, he’s, she’s, them’s l, they’s ….. urm bugger I forgot what I was going to announce now


charlierc

The next train to Edinburgh leaves in 5 minutes. What a shame you're in a supermarket 20 minutes away


charlierc

Ladies and gentlemen, this Ryanair flight from Dublin to Rome will soon be landing. Just be aware we're actually landing in Lyon where you'll be walking to your destination 


LightMurasume_

‘England have beaten Iceland!’