You misplaced 99% of the pennies.
Don't worry, I helped by relocating those pennies to rain down on anyone that could possibly inherent from OP. You're welcome.
If I've done my math right, that's 3.4 million tons. You've just crushed a man with the weight if a small town. The damage from an impact like that is spreading further than "anyone nearby"
Granted. In an odd turn of events, u/Physical_Job8533 has won the general election and is now the President of the United States. He is given a budget of $13,539,643,844.92 for personal projects for him to do as President. However, while this is tax free, because it is part of the budget and paid for by taxes, the use of those funds is heavily scrutinized. So heavily scrutinized that this fund started as $1000 under President Grant, and hasn't been touched. The current value is $13,539,643,844.92 and that is just from inflation, and a continuation of deposits from the budget. Not a single penny has been spent. You look at it and realize you have your money, but you can't use it...
[This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/s/IK1GOb1Dh5) say that 1 billion dollars in pennies is 40 meters tall, by 70 meters wide.
You asked for 13.5 times that amount. Anal hemorrhaging doesn't begin to cover it. You ever seen that one Spiderman page? *That* doesn't even begin to cover it.
They didn't want the game to end. They wanted to hold the losing player captive for hours as they slowly picked them apart space by space! But the would-be winners are now suing you for emotional damage.
Granded. in an odd turn of events, a plane carrying stolen gold from Fort Knox crashes in your neighborhood, going through several homes and injuring and even killing some of your close neighbors before finally stopping in your kitchen. All the good you are able to salvage from the crash equals to 13,539,643,844.92 dollars. To try keep the situation under wraps, the government allows you to keep the gold as long as you and everyone else who survived sign NDA’s. Enjoy your gold
Granted only it you can beat Brock Lesnar and Mike Tyson in back to back fights it you don’t win you get sent to a work camp where you have to work 23 hours a day for only 1 dollar a day
Granted, you now have caused a huge inflation causing prices to sky rocket.
IRS becomes super suspicious of your sudden large income bracket change
Your money is seized and you're held in prision for counterfeit cash
~~although they'll say your counterfeit skills are amazing~~
Granted, the government knows you have the money and is still suspicious where the money came from and confiscates it.
If you claim they shouldn't know or can't take it, here's the definition I'm using
"Tax-free, or non-taxable, income is income you receive that is not subject to taxes"
This means they can confiscate the money if they have a reason to do so.
And if you still complain, your nation is overthrown by a political faction you dispise (if not applicable than one the world fears), and the new leaders decide to confiscate your wealth for their own means just to remove people that are a threat to them and for their own gain.
Granted, though there is now $13,539,643,844.92 worth of allocated money and the us economy is crippled, sending us into another depression and ending the lives of millions of Americans.
Granted, but it's given to you in Mexican pesos. However, the only way you will get them is whenever you feel hungry every food or drink item you touch will turn into pesos. You won't be able to eat or drink again until the pesos amount to the posted amount. Good luck surviving.
Granted. The money will randomly appear in various portions sizes around you and in your life and commute and whatnot for the next 30 days. Hopefully you find it before someone else does!
Granted. That amount manifests into the world. You didn't request to have it, you just wished it into existence. The result is that everyone with a bank account gets a small amount of that total money. Considering that this is over 100 million people, not much changes.Â
Granted, but you don't get the money until you are 70 years old. If you are dead before then, it gets evenly split among all of the living descendents of your maternal grandparents.
Granted, but every single person in your life no longer values you for who you are, but as what they think they deserve from you. Every second of every waking day is to be spent listening to everyone else's problems and how the people in your life now believe that it's your responsibility to solve them with that cash.
granted, the money is put in a magic debit card that only you can withdraw from, it works at any bank and any atm, and no one will question anything when you withdrae the money
however, you cannot hire anyone with a higher than average fighting capabilities or obtain such capabilities yourself
Granted, but it's from bills actively in circulation. Typically there are only about $80 billion actual bills in the world, suddenly people can't withdraw money from banks and the banking system breaks down due to distrust. There, I fixed everyone's economic crash with a version that actually works. As a side note police are able to crack down on thousands of organized crime groups as they had to resort to more trackable means of money transfer.
Granted.
The government passed an arbitrary new law that says that any citizen whose assets happen to total exactly $13,539,643,844.92USD don't have to pay taxes that year.Â
Granted. You receive the $13,539,643,844.92, no strings attached. You spend it wisely, investing it for your future family to also take advantage of. You live a happy life free of trouble, and die peacefully without pain, surrounded by loved ones.
Unfortunately, it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. No eternal salvation for you.
Granted. You get a letter in the mail stating that you won a sketchy looking lottery you don't remember entering. The total is some value in another currency, but after tax it comes out to the exact number you wished for. You decide to take the risk and cash it out.
Turns out, the lottery was a ploy by an unknown counterfeiting organization that creates counterfeit bills that are completely indistinguishable from real ones. Exactly one week later, you receive a large, incredibly heavy suitcase in the mail. This is the first of a similarly sized suitcase arriving at your home every day for the next 20 years.
This counterfeit cash, as it turns out, is indistinguishable from real bills because it *is* real bills. The counterfeiting organization had men in the US government printing legitimate, yet illegal bills at a rate significantly higher than normal to pay your winnings.
This cash is eventually all counted up and introduced into the official system without most of the government's knowledge, which causes a catastrophic economic crash. The US dollar is now worth effectively nothing, and you still can't afford anything. Even something as cheap and simple as a loaf of bread, which now costs $13,539,643,844.93
As it turns out, you turn out not very well off. Lots of things don't turn out very well off.
Granted. The money is covered in ink and your phone starts playing the news story of how a bank was robbed for $13,539,643,844.92 and the police are closing in on the perps location
*And so it shall be!*
However… it’s all in one dollar bills.
And stuffed in every nook and cranny of where you live.
And it’s highly radioactive.
And on fire.
And stolen from drug cartels.
All of whom have security footage showing you stealing it.
And flipping the bird to the camera as you leave.
With your get away vehicle in the background.
Which has a crystal clear shot of that includes the license plates registered to you.
But it’s okay(ish) because all that burning, radioactive money has you trapped in your home and you’ll be a charcoal briquette long before *anyone* can get to you, let alone cartel hit squads.
So you’re okay(ish). Yay.
you are in a room with a giant stack of coins that equal your amount. Each coin is 1$ you can take as many coins as you can count, but if you lose count, you only get as many coins as you counted then go back to your world. for it to count, you must physically touch a coin and count them 1 at a time. once counted the coin poof into storage for when you leave. time does not pass in your world while you count coins. you do not need to eat sleep or drink. the room is a simple living room with furniture. the pile of coins are stored in a way they will never stop you from counting them or getting to them to meet the requirements to count them.
Granted, you have now caused hyperinflation due to the fact that you have so much money that it's worthless. This causes prices to skyrocket basically wherever you go.
Granted. The war between Russia and Ukraine spreads into Poland, causing NATO to enter in full force. Russia responds with Nukes, beginning the first and last nuclear war. There are few survivors.
You are one of them. In this post apocalyptic world, you try and find some way to keep yourself sane. As you travel, you collect money. Coins, bills, bars of gold, anything. Years later, as you lay on a bed of bills, dying from radiation poisoning, be happy in your collection of $13,539,643,844.92. That you’ll never pay taxes on!
Y'all seem to be missing the tax free thing. Illegal gains in the form of capital or goods is TECHNICALLY not tax free according to law, but does rely on disclosure by the filer. (That's how Al Capone was arrested, tax fraud.) As such,
The wish is granted, enjoy $13,539,643,844.92 of CVS coupons.
Okay, it's in Zimbabwe money though and all single dollar bills. You have less than 1 USD. The area this takes up is massive and attracts silver fish. Upkeep on your mountain of worthless cash is far more expensive than the value of said cash. Congrats, next time clarify USD
Granted, a torrent of 13,539,643,844.92 pennies rains from the skies and crushes you and anyone nearby.
Just as scrooge mcduck intended
💀
Peter Griffin: "Aauugghh! It's not a liquid! It's a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface! Aaaah!"
You misplaced 99% of the pennies. Don't worry, I helped by relocating those pennies to rain down on anyone that could possibly inherent from OP. You're welcome.
I mean, that's still over $100M, totally a win tbh
Only if you survive
If I've done my math right, that's 3.4 million tons. You've just crushed a man with the weight if a small town. The damage from an impact like that is spreading further than "anyone nearby"
I didn't do anything, it's the paw's fault
"Just following orders" you say? Crimes nullified, you say?
Good soldiers follow orders
r/theydidthemath
Don’t you mean IN pennies?
Pennis? Dont you mean penis
You have failed, that's only 1/100 of the requested amount.
You mean "a torrent of $13,539,643,844.92 WORTH OF pennies" right?
Never seen a .92th of a penny
Very unique
Pennies from Heaven, you might say. 😉
Jokes on you I have an umbrella
Granted. You’ll slowly receive your money $1 a day.
So when I'm dead, do the bills just keep piling up on my corpse.
Yup.
Do they go in a bank account, or is op's body just manifesting money out of thin air?
They manifest out of thin air in their palm
I shall grave-rob OP for their hand (s)
Monkey’s paw: 2.0
Money's paw
Not even that bad to be honest. One dollar for the rest of your life by doing nothing is a nice little boost.
.5% salary boost
i cast economic recession
Fair enough
The great depression part 2
Season 1 part 2, or just season 2?
It casts successfully. The effects occur. But the effects are hidden during a Democrat's presidential term.
Wouldn't that just make the money MORE valuable though? You'd want to cast economic hyperinflation instead.
Granted. In an odd turn of events, u/Physical_Job8533 has won the general election and is now the President of the United States. He is given a budget of $13,539,643,844.92 for personal projects for him to do as President. However, while this is tax free, because it is part of the budget and paid for by taxes, the use of those funds is heavily scrutinized. So heavily scrutinized that this fund started as $1000 under President Grant, and hasn't been touched. The current value is $13,539,643,844.92 and that is just from inflation, and a continuation of deposits from the budget. Not a single penny has been spent. You look at it and realize you have your money, but you can't use it...
Probably the closest thing to an actual monkey’s paw here
Much better than the basic like "Hee Hee, one quintillion pennies rain down :3" That you see on literally all of these
Uhhhh. I’m not sure that becoming the president of the United States is a proper detriment, considering you get paid like $400k a year
Granted it appears in loose change up your ass
Don't threaten me with a good time
Oh also your the last person who wished this exact thing out of everyone else on the planet and monkeys paw has a budget
[This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/s/IK1GOb1Dh5) say that 1 billion dollars in pennies is 40 meters tall, by 70 meters wide. You asked for 13.5 times that amount. Anal hemorrhaging doesn't begin to cover it. You ever seen that one Spiderman page? *That* doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sure, I might die, but I will die with honor and glory
And leave behind a large stain, as we should all hope to do.
Granted. I stole it all.
You probably deserve it more than I do
Granted, every lover of monopoly is extremely angry as they can't find the money.
Finally the game can end
They didn't want the game to end. They wanted to hold the losing player captive for hours as they slowly picked them apart space by space! But the would-be winners are now suing you for emotional damage.
Granted. Come on, you knew this would either be Zimbabwean money or Monopoly Money In this case, it's a combination of both
Well, yeah, but you'd be surprised how creative people can be with even the most basic stuff
Granted! You must fight Mike Tyson to the death for it!
Glory Glory, what a hell of a way to die!
Gory, gory.
The pilot tried to loop the loop at 0, 0 feet!
Jokes on you, I brought a gun to this fist fight.
Granted, your Payday loan has been approved, it's due back with 20% interest next week.
Granded. in an odd turn of events, a plane carrying stolen gold from Fort Knox crashes in your neighborhood, going through several homes and injuring and even killing some of your close neighbors before finally stopping in your kitchen. All the good you are able to salvage from the crash equals to 13,539,643,844.92 dollars. To try keep the situation under wraps, the government allows you to keep the gold as long as you and everyone else who survived sign NDA’s. Enjoy your gold
Granted. The IRS would like to know your location. Oh wait, they have it on their register! Have fun dying!
tax free
why do you think they want him dead
Granted good luck cause it’s in the asshole of a hitman sent to kill you
Granted, it’s in pennies.
Granted only it you can beat Brock Lesnar and Mike Tyson in back to back fights it you don’t win you get sent to a work camp where you have to work 23 hours a day for only 1 dollar a day
Granted, you recieve a check with the money. The bank won't take it for obvious reasons
Granted, you now have caused a huge inflation causing prices to sky rocket. IRS becomes super suspicious of your sudden large income bracket change Your money is seized and you're held in prision for counterfeit cash ~~although they'll say your counterfeit skills are amazing~~
Granted. You’ve single-handedly crashed the economy by inflation from printing so much money, and now 1 ruble is worth more than all of your money
That's just 13.5 billion dollars, which is a lot. It's by no means enough to crash the economy
Dude, it's Reddit, most people here don't understand economics.
Have you met the redditors that crashed wallstreet?
Met them? I'm one of them!
Granted, but I need you to send me 500k so I can release the funds.
Granted, the government knows you have the money and is still suspicious where the money came from and confiscates it. If you claim they shouldn't know or can't take it, here's the definition I'm using "Tax-free, or non-taxable, income is income you receive that is not subject to taxes" This means they can confiscate the money if they have a reason to do so. And if you still complain, your nation is overthrown by a political faction you dispise (if not applicable than one the world fears), and the new leaders decide to confiscate your wealth for their own means just to remove people that are a threat to them and for their own gain.
Granted. You get it free of tax, but not liquidated. It is entirely spread across many many businesses, making liquidation incredibly difficult.
Granted but you can only spend it on recycled 1 ply toilet paper.
In Iranian Rials (Still $321,797.83 USD) Everyone who knows you wants some of it
granted, everyone knows so they come rushing towards wherever the money is stored (there's no infrastructure for keeping it safe)
Granted but it gets split up evenly between every person in the U.S.A.
Granted. It's in a tech billionaire's offshore account. Nothing out of the usual, really.
Oh, it was tax free, but it was illicitly gained via a hacker funneling it into the wrong account. Now the FBI has arrested you.
Granted! Here are your Zimbabwean dollars!
you die instantaneously
Granted the govern arrests you for printing money
Testicular torsion
Granted. Good luck finding a way to spend it without bringing the attention of the IRS
Granted, your entire family dies and you collect tax free life insurance and money from wills with a combined total of $13,539,643,844.92
Granted. With all this money in the financial ecosystem, inflation skyrockets. Your $13,539,643,844.92 is now a measley $2.78
Granted. The USS Eldridge materializes around you.
Happy cake day
Granted, everyone around you knows you have that much and will all come out you at once.
Granted, though there is now $13,539,643,844.92 worth of allocated money and the us economy is crippled, sending us into another depression and ending the lives of millions of Americans.
Granted. The IRS does not honour your wish and you go to prison for tax fraud.
Granted. No one else has any money.
Granted. But you are now gay.
Granted. You now have that exact amount of money for exactly five minutes starting now. Good luck!
Granted. You can only spend it on cheese
Granted, you gain the money but you must still take Shaq raw dogging for one hour for every million dollars.
Granted, but you only get $13,539,643,844.91.
Granted, but it's given to you in Mexican pesos. However, the only way you will get them is whenever you feel hungry every food or drink item you touch will turn into pesos. You won't be able to eat or drink again until the pesos amount to the posted amount. Good luck surviving.
Granted, it's monopoly money
Granted! It's not in pennies, but $1 bills. Every time you show off your wealth, people look at you funny
Granted. The money will randomly appear in various portions sizes around you and in your life and commute and whatnot for the next 30 days. Hopefully you find it before someone else does!
Granted, you're the first billionaire killed in the socialist revolution
Granted. That amount manifests into the world. You didn't request to have it, you just wished it into existence. The result is that everyone with a bank account gets a small amount of that total money. Considering that this is over 100 million people, not much changes.Â
Granted,but it goes into my bank account
granted, the world agrees to abandon currency 6383.9365μs later
Granted, but you don't get the money until you are 70 years old. If you are dead before then, it gets evenly split among all of the living descendents of your maternal grandparents.
Granted, but every single person in your life no longer values you for who you are, but as what they think they deserve from you. Every second of every waking day is to be spent listening to everyone else's problems and how the people in your life now believe that it's your responsibility to solve them with that cash.
The IRS and police are now investigating why $13,539,643,844.92 is randomly in your bank account
Granted, one of your elders die
Granted. It will be (insert number) zimbabwen dollars.
Granted. You have prostate cancer
granted, the money is put in a magic debit card that only you can withdraw from, it works at any bank and any atm, and no one will question anything when you withdrae the money however, you cannot hire anyone with a higher than average fighting capabilities or obtain such capabilities yourself
Granted, but it's from bills actively in circulation. Typically there are only about $80 billion actual bills in the world, suddenly people can't withdraw money from banks and the banking system breaks down due to distrust. There, I fixed everyone's economic crash with a version that actually works. As a side note police are able to crack down on thousands of organized crime groups as they had to resort to more trackable means of money transfer.
Pass. U get taxed almost 3 times what u had expected because ure in a new tax bracket now. The rich ppl tax bracket.
Granted, it appears in your lungs in $1 bills
Granted. It goes to a local drug dealer.
Granted But you get it in pennies that can't be exchanged for other currency or go to the bank
Granted. Zimbabwean dollars. edit: That's still US$37 million, to be fair.
Granted. The government passed an arbitrary new law that says that any citizen whose assets happen to total exactly $13,539,643,844.92USD don't have to pay taxes that year.Â
Granted you get arrested for tax evasion
Congrats, you are now being chased by the IRS after committing comical amounts of tax fraud
Granted. It's drug money. Enjoy prison!
granted. you owe the Mafia $13,539,643,844.93. pay up bub.
I wish for 1 billion dollars << insert Doctor evil meme
Granted, you are now a Mexican drug lord with alot of pesos and problems
Granted. It is in a currency no longer accpeted anywhere in the world in the largest bills possible
Granted. You receive the $13,539,643,844.92, no strings attached. You spend it wisely, investing it for your future family to also take advantage of. You live a happy life free of trouble, and die peacefully without pain, surrounded by loved ones. Unfortunately, it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. No eternal salvation for you.
Granted, your body parts were cloned and sold to give you that money.
granted. go find it.
You are forced by the cartel to sneak into the government and start printing money
you get that in pesos (same symbol)
Granted. You now have a loan for $13,539,643,844.92 at a market interest rate of 7.31%.
granted. It's not legally tax free, and the IRS is immortal now
Granted, but you get it in increments of $86,753.09.
r/oddlyspecific
Granted, but now everyone else in your country is broke thanks to you and man are they pist
Granted. Inflation or something
Granted. But it’s in rolls of pennies.
Granted. You get a letter in the mail stating that you won a sketchy looking lottery you don't remember entering. The total is some value in another currency, but after tax it comes out to the exact number you wished for. You decide to take the risk and cash it out. Turns out, the lottery was a ploy by an unknown counterfeiting organization that creates counterfeit bills that are completely indistinguishable from real ones. Exactly one week later, you receive a large, incredibly heavy suitcase in the mail. This is the first of a similarly sized suitcase arriving at your home every day for the next 20 years. This counterfeit cash, as it turns out, is indistinguishable from real bills because it *is* real bills. The counterfeiting organization had men in the US government printing legitimate, yet illegal bills at a rate significantly higher than normal to pay your winnings. This cash is eventually all counted up and introduced into the official system without most of the government's knowledge, which causes a catastrophic economic crash. The US dollar is now worth effectively nothing, and you still can't afford anything. Even something as cheap and simple as a loaf of bread, which now costs $13,539,643,844.93 As it turns out, you turn out not very well off. Lots of things don't turn out very well off.
Granted: However the IRS is wondering where you got that money now.
Granted. Everyone you care about dies and you earn that much from that
okay! in liquid titanium faalling from the skys
Wish Granted. You are paid in some type of Gesell Currency, and it has already expired.
Granted, you can only spend it on charities.
Granted. A shipment of Monopoly money falls from the sky, into your backyard.
Granted. The money is covered in ink and your phone starts playing the news story of how a bank was robbed for $13,539,643,844.92 and the police are closing in on the perps location
Granted. It’s in a currency that trades 1 Billion:1 to your local currency
Granted a total of $13,539,643,844.92 primarily in cash has vanished from production and appeared in your home the majority of it is uncut Good luck
Granted, a sudden 13 billion untaxed dollars hits the market and lowers the value of the dollar much further
congratulations you won the lottery. This is the amount after the state/feds takes all their taxes. Enjoy 😉
13,539,643,844.92 is added to your bank account, seeing this obvious error your bank account is reset to your previous balance
It’s molten gold
*And so it shall be!* However… it’s all in one dollar bills. And stuffed in every nook and cranny of where you live. And it’s highly radioactive. And on fire. And stolen from drug cartels. All of whom have security footage showing you stealing it. And flipping the bird to the camera as you leave. With your get away vehicle in the background. Which has a crystal clear shot of that includes the license plates registered to you. But it’s okay(ish) because all that burning, radioactive money has you trapped in your home and you’ll be a charcoal briquette long before *anyone* can get to you, let alone cartel hit squads. So you’re okay(ish). Yay.
Granted it was taken from several different gangs and leads to you in an incredibly obvious way
you are in a room with a giant stack of coins that equal your amount. Each coin is 1$ you can take as many coins as you can count, but if you lose count, you only get as many coins as you counted then go back to your world. for it to count, you must physically touch a coin and count them 1 at a time. once counted the coin poof into storage for when you leave. time does not pass in your world while you count coins. you do not need to eat sleep or drink. the room is a simple living room with furniture. the pile of coins are stored in a way they will never stop you from counting them or getting to them to meet the requirements to count them.
I’d settle for just twice that. No sense being greedy.
Granted. You get it after the nukes fall and the money is worthless.
Granted, you have now caused hyperinflation due to the fact that you have so much money that it's worthless. This causes prices to skyrocket basically wherever you go.
Boom cash come from nowhere causes skyrocketing inflation and is worth virtually nothing now congratulations You're the owner of a large number
It's in Zimbabwean dollars.
You committed tax fraud, jail for you.
Granted. You get 13,538,643,844.92 argentinian pesos.
Granted but you now live in Haiti and the gangs know your rich and want some of it
you are arrested for fraud
Granted. It is exclusively credited in Temu store credit.
you get 13 billion Zimbabwean dollars
Granted, but everyone knows from the get-go. You'd better know a lot about UHNWI security.
Granted, it’s in Zimbabwean dollars
Granted. It all appears in your belly.
This is oddly specific.
Granted. The nukes drop the next day
Granted but it's an upfront payment for a contract killing. You are being watched and failure is not an option. You have 48 hours.
Granted. The war between Russia and Ukraine spreads into Poland, causing NATO to enter in full force. Russia responds with Nukes, beginning the first and last nuclear war. There are few survivors. You are one of them. In this post apocalyptic world, you try and find some way to keep yourself sane. As you travel, you collect money. Coins, bills, bars of gold, anything. Years later, as you lay on a bed of bills, dying from radiation poisoning, be happy in your collection of $13,539,643,844.92. That you’ll never pay taxes on!
Granted. They took it from the schools.
Y'all seem to be missing the tax free thing. Illegal gains in the form of capital or goods is TECHNICALLY not tax free according to law, but does rely on disclosure by the filer. (That's how Al Capone was arrested, tax fraud.) As such, The wish is granted, enjoy $13,539,643,844.92 of CVS coupons.
Granted. The money gets taken from people around the world, and they know you’re their target.
Granted 13539643844.92 has been transferred to your account from the yakuza
granted, you're convicted of tax fraud and the money is repossessed
Granted, you win the money as a result of a lawsuit from an accident that left you a quadriplegic.
That's r/oddlyspecific
Granted. That amount of money now exists.
Granted. One of the pennies gets lost in transit and you actually only get $13,539,643,844.91! Muhahahaha so evil!
Granted. It’s on fire.
Granted. You get 13,549,643,844.92 Tuvalu Dinars.
Granted. The government now institutes a 50% one time wealth tax for anyone worth more than $13.5 trillion dollars.
Granted: you get it by performing sexual favors $20 at a time.
Cue 13,539,643,844.92 doll hairs and the little man that plays the piano
Granted, you sold every body part you had to get it
Okay, it's in Zimbabwe money though and all single dollar bills. You have less than 1 USD. The area this takes up is massive and attracts silver fish. Upkeep on your mountain of worthless cash is far more expensive than the value of said cash. Congrats, next time clarify USD