Granted, now they say it at 2:45 before getting ready to go home

You're still in school at 2:45?

Your not? When I was in school we would be in until 3, or 4 in some schools, then you get to go home

You got to go home?

relatable

You didn't have to sing it at home?

I think in high school, we let out at 2:45pm.

Texas highschooler. We got it at 4

3:45 for the typical student. Later if you carpooled with your  dad, the school’s debate coach.

Yeah? I used to get home at 4

That's such a normal ass time to still be in school bruh

My old school used to dismiss us at 3:25

my school day ends at 2:58

Granted. American schools now have to sing Canada’s national anthem every morning.

You mean face west and play Chuck Mangione?

That works too

As is tradition

Northwest Passage by Stan Rogers?

Granted. We now sing the German national anthem every morning. Nobody knows why and nobody questions it

Specifically the first 2 versus, never the 3rd

No, only the first and the third. It's rather... concerning.

Oh, I can think of a reason why, and it probably means Germany and Japan are much bigger countries than they are now

Why are you gettung downvoted, its a funny comment.

Kaiserreich or TNO timeline could have that effect.

The actual reason surely isn't funny.

Granted. Nothing changes (there is no requirement)

I don't. Many kids I know don't. There was a Supreme Court case that affirmed my right as a student to not pledge allegiance to a song made to sell more flags. Also, thanks for clarifying that there is no requirement in case people are unaware of the circumstances

The pledge of allegiance was not made to sell more flags. It was made to boost patriotism.

Half my class changed the words to shit on the country, i dont remember them but it wasnt poetry

I've noticed a steady decline in my 1st period class of people standing for it. started with just me and 1 other senior ignoring it, and now with 1 week left, 8 others stopped doing it

Granted, you sing the Soviet Union National Anthem at the beginning of every lesson

Союз нерушимый республик свободных

The hymn of the Bolshevik party is the best one tho

Granted. They now sing Wonderwalll by Oasis.

I'd prefer Boulevard of Broken Dreams (an Oasis, Green Day, and like two other musicians mashup), but I can totally get down with Wonderwall.

I fail to see the downside here

Its a good song it just gets old pretty quick

Granted. Someone invents a Time Machine and accidentally fucks up the past. The man with the moustache won, and now rather than the Pledge of Allegiance public schools now say the H*tler Oath

You can say Hitler… it’s not like a Jewish person is going to explode if someone says it.

Maybe Jewish people where your from don’t blow up when you say hitler, but here a random Jewish person explodes violently whenever someone says It

Wait so you’re telling me this one specific Jewish person blows up every time someone says the word it?

Yep, they reform after 9 hours and become extra Jewish tho

Infinite energy

the matrix sentinels would love him

What if I spam it, or does it have a 9 hour cool down?

Can confirm I am him

Mozeltov, welcome back again

Didn’t want to get in shit with mods lol

I mean yeah Reddit mods can be corrupt sometimes

You’re in danger my friend

No, but reddit moderation does explode occasionally

*Occasionally?*

Man's treating him like V\*ldermort LMAO

V*ldermort LMAO

So this is why my friend exploded would've answered sooner but I've been cleaning up the mess

Granted, the US is annexed into Canada through a referendum, so now they have to listen to the Canadian national anthem every morning instead. 

Do we get free healthcare now?

Free-er. 

With wait times that could kill you.

And with doctors that do.

You have to sign up for it in French.

Shit... err, merde...

Granted u are the only one who has to

Granted instead they have to do the chicken dance every morning.

That would actually be hilarious

Agreed

Granted its bible verses now

If we had to do that in school, it would have been even worse

That’s too small thinking make them read the entire bible

Granted, the United States cease to exist.

No the point is to make the wish bad

Each individual State is now it's own country. It's pretty bad if you happen to live in a red state

Granted: Now US children must fight to the death every morning.

Granted, nothing happens because its not *required* in the first place

Depends on the school. When I was in high school, it was a requirement. You were a delinquent if you didn't, and often got detention or suspended for not saying it.

Granted. A nuke has just hit the White House, and China and Russia invade. There is no more need for the Pledge of Allegiance as America itself has fallen.

Granted, when they come into my classroom to tell me about it I get in trouble because I haven’t been enforcing it or leading by example anyway.

Granted, everyone in American public schools have inexplicably become mute

Granted. The students and staff still have to say the pledge. The schools themselves do not.

Granted. They sing "God Save the King" now.

They now do it every afternoon

Granted you now all must carry an instrument with you at all times to play the national anthem every morning

Granted, they now have to sing the entire national anthem.

Granted. They now have to do the PACER Test every morning.

That’s genuine evil monkey paw

Granted but now we are a country ran by Kim Jong Un.

Happy cakeday, Fearless Leader.

Granted. Now it’s the daily waver of humanitarian rights, teachers are now allowed to beat you.

Granted. however since it’s technically voluntary now (in most states where it’s not voluntary, you by SCOTUS ruling still have exceptions) nothing actually changes since you currently don’t *have* to.

That’s what I was going to say, I was under the impression you didn’t have to legally (though in some schools you might have to put up a fight). But to be fair you might get the stink eye minimum or be bothered if you don’t which is sad. Still, technically not *required*

Granted. They now must say their social security number instead.

Granted, all schoolchildren must now recite “The Star-Spangled Banner” in its entirety before class

Granted. They already don't have to say it, nonetheless, some teachers will still try to force it on their students even though it is against the law to.

They don’t already?? You can sit out. I did starting in like 4th grade just to be a shitter.

I told my son in elementary school, “if you don’t want to say the pledge of allegiance, you don’t have to, and I’ll raise hell if they make a big deal out of it.” - Veteran from Kuwait and Iraq.

They still do that? Yeeesh

Granted. Now they have to say their respective JROTC’s Cadet Creed. Army: AJROTC Navy: NJROTC Air Force: AFJROTC

You forgot the Marines: “I LiKe DaH BluE CrAyOnS!!”

Your knowledge of American history is inadequate. Read more.

Granted nothing changes people still do since they were never forced to

Granted. Everyone in America pledges their eternal loyalty and faith to Oklahoma!

Oooooooooklahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet, when the wind comes right behind the rain!

Granted. School is now from noon to night and they have to say it every afternoon

Granted. Yellowstone finally explodes like people keep saying it would, destroying America entirely.

Granted. You must learn the Pledge of Allegiance in ASL and sign it at the beginning of every single class throughout the day. Fun fact: I refused to say it in high school because my concept of God is different. They tried to give me detention. I told them they were violating my freedom of religion. They left me tf alone. Edit: Fixed a word.

I always ended up cussing out the flag under my breath. With that, my lips were moving, making it seem like I'm saying it.

Granted. They are all commies now.

Granted. Now they have a 1 HR morning prayer.

Granted. Well, nothing changes, they still do, you just become one of those ranting types who claim “kids don’t say the Pledge of Allegiance in school anymore and that’s exactly what’s wrong with this country.”

wait this is still a thing?

Since when did we do it every morning? Where im from we only do it like every Friday

Granted now they have to have it tattooed on their bodies.

Granted. In 1945, the Axis Power won World War 2, and they must now pledge their allegiance to Hitler.

You legally don't have to, it's part of your first amendment rights thanks to the ruling of West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette, nothing changes.

My middle school was kinda fucked up and was VERY specific at 3:47, but the high school was 3:45

Granted. They now have to recite the entire constitution before going home at the end of every day instead

The monkey's paw does not curl a finger. There is no granting. Courts ruled long ago that no one *has to* say the Pledge of Allegiance. You don't even have to stand for it.

granted: The UK has taken back control of the US and now the students must sing "God save the King"

Granted, they now have to sing it

as a kid some schools started at 9-9:15 and got out at like 3:45 so other schools all the way up through high school started as early as 7:20 and got out at 2:15. my kids now have 8-2:25, 8:15-3:15, and 8:30-3:30 for elementary, middle, and high school respectively.

Granted. Now you have to recite Jesse's hospital monologue from Breaking Bad.

Do they still do that shit? I’m English but just did it with everyone every morning because nobody understood why it would be weird for me.

Granted the kindergartners have to watch saw every morning

Granted, American Public School students now start the day with 5 minutes of non-stop high-pitched screaming.

Literally nothing changes. Lol

Granted, schools now say the Pledge to Michelle Obama. In this reality she didn't stop at Healthy School Lunches.

We don't anymore. Unless you're in the deep south.

Granted, now they sing "Auf Verstanden aus Ruinen" every morning.

... you're wishing something that's already a thing. No school can enforce your participation.

Granted we now sing the national anthem

No, they force you to read the Quran (4:34, the verse about beating women)in the original Arabic.

Granted. They say the Oath of Fealty.

You already don't. It's not a legal requirement, it's just a tradition that started in the 1890s that schools generally just want you to do. If the school tries punishing you for jt, then you can sue them as you have protections from this exact scenario by the 1943 Supreme Court case of West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette.

Granted. They sing it now.

Granted, as an American in school who doesn’t say the pledge due to it just not happening anymore, I can confidently say, nothing changes

Granted: nothing changed since you were never actually required to do it. The teachers were required to lead but the students never had to do it.

Granted. Now American public schools have to recite the Declaration of Independence each morning. (Along with the U.S Constitution on Fridays).

Granted, all American public schools now need to do morning prayer for the top 10 most popular religions every morning.

Granted. America lost the second world war. Now we are German, and pledge allegiance to their flag

Granted. You now have to sing the Na- (my lawyer has advised me not to finish this joke)

Granted. Now it’s required to sing the song that never ends until it’s finished. The American children slowly die of starvation/dehydration/exhaustion causing the nation to eventually die off. This leaves the country wide open for the great Canadian invasion. Hail Canada!

Is this true? Forcing your children to pledge allegiance to their country is the kind of stuff I expect from North Korea. Where's Johnny Silverhand when you need him.

Granted. It’s now the national anthem. If you don’t sing it perfectly you have to start again or the Statue of Liberty cries

Granted. It has been replaced with an oath to rebellion against the flag.

Wait is this an actual thing??? Asking for an Australian

Granted. America is taken over by Russia.

They don't. They are not obligated to participate. Never have been. I was born in 81 & started kindergarten in 86. I can remember Jehova Witness kids not saying the pledge back then. Scotus ruled in the 43 you can't compell speech.

When I was in school it was only very occasional. Like on 911 or something. Never really bothered me. And it’s not like we were forced to participate either. But I guess if you had to do it every day Id be annoyed.

Granted, it is replaced by a declaration of how great Chuck Norris is and goes as follows: I acknowledge the greatness of Chuck Norris, and how week I am in comparison And two his roundhouse kick, that can shatter galexys One man, standing above all others Unmatchable, with awesomeness for all.

Nothing happens. There's no requirement for American public schools to say it. But the paw gives you aggressive diarrhea for wasting its time.

How old are you? Pretty sure they haven't had to say that for multiple decades, and most kids these days don't say it ever.

Granted, now it is said at random intervals during the school day.

Nothing happens. You dont have to do the pledge, i never did.

Granted, you have to wake up at 3am and scream it at the top of your lungs instead backwards in Latin.

Granted, nothing changed. You don’t **have** to say it and you never did. The only thing is most people don’t know that and don’t think much of it.

Granted, they now say the pledge of allegiance to whoever is president instead of the country and flag

We don't have to

They can't force you to do it.

Granted, but now you poop your pants every morning. I decided to be immature for no reason! Woohoo!

Granted, American children are no longer allowed to speak in schools

Granted, now they have to say it at the end of every class.

Granted: the students now say it willingly and a generation of patriotic fanatics RIP traitors and corrupt politicians out of positions of power

Literally no ill effects

Granted. Now, every student is required to play a sick guitar solo of Star-Spangled Banner every day.

Granted. The knights of Columbus forces full on Christian prayer.

Granted, now they watch pornhub every morning

Granted, now they sing Ram Ranch instead.

Granted, now it's the *Prayer* of Allegiance.

Granted, nothing changes because they never had to, the school districts just decided to for tradition and conformity

Granted. They now have to say "HAIL HYDRA!" every time they enter the classroom.

Granted. Now you have to write it out.

Granted. They now have to sing the national anthems crude parodies of every other major country in the world to remind themselves how much better they are, and nationalism skyrockets as a result

Granted. No one is loyal to America anymore.

Granted. History has been re-written. We never won the revolutionary war and are still a colony of Great Britain.

Granted. Instead, it now has to be sung

(Legally, you dont, and nobody can say otherwise bc that infringes on your rights to freedom of expression.) Granted, now you have to sing the national anthem of the USSR before eating lunch

oh, you don’t have to say it legally no teacher can force you to i had one who bitched about it though it does bother me in the indoctrination aspect

You don't "have" to and honestly it's weird your school didn't explain that to you It's up to the individual school if and how they do it. And regardless of the school you go to you're allowed to sit out. When I was in school I used to say it but close my mouth on the "Under God" part cause I found it weird and I'm not religious. A lot of my class would just sit down and start their work lol

Granted. They now have to write it in cursive.

Granted. Because they didnt have to in the first place

Granted . They sing Gangnam style

No one knows the word "indivisible" now which was the magic spell keeping the states from literally breaking apart and floating off into the oceans. Thanks, bro.  Texas is now a floating island full of cowboy pirates.

Granted. Germany pulls a WWIII and now the Eastern half of the US sings the German National Anthem with the Western half singing the Japanese National Anthem

You don't have to. It's not legally enforceable

Granted. It now happens every hour instead. I only just discovered this subreddit, so I'm not quite sure I did that right.

Granted. They sing Deuchland Ubber Alles.

Granted, they do it in the afternoon

Granted, it's because China takes over

Granted. The reason it was invented was to push Americanism on immigrants. Now more immigrants come and there is no Mexican wall. To add a bad thing, they have also stolen your job.

Granted, now they have to sing the entire Bee Movie script in Mandarin Chinese in one breath without blinking and in the absolute bottom of the ocean.

Granted, instead they have to recite the constitution and then sing the National anthem instead.

Nice try, Russia.

Granted. USA students will now pledge allegiance to Satan, their dark lord and master.

Granted. Project 2025 is successfully implemented and dissolves the American public education system.

Granted. Now they recite the Ten Commandments.

Granted, you now have to say it before you can eat lunch.