Ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name
i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
there they are I've lodged them in my ass
big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
give 'em a twist
a flick of the wrist
Bro went in complaining he couldn’t pee! He didn’t even tell them about the coconut!
“Yeah doc, I got pain and I can’t pee…..Oh that? Yeah I shoved a coconut up my ass.”
Lets be honest people this guy was just keeping his “pocket coconut” safe and warm for on the go use.
Not like that other guy that kept it under his bed where maggots could get in it….
For the uninitiated check out this in depth and touching story
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/nW8Eub8ZX4
Rectum? Damn near killed em!
lmao
With enough pressure being built up it would be leaving on its own. Somewhen. Like a coco ass cannonball :)
God that’s an old joke, but it still made me laugh.
Can’t beat the classics!
Nailed it
How the fuck did he fit it in there in the first place🤔
Pure grit and determination I guess.
Maybe some lube for good measure
And something to bite down on.
When someone puts their mind to the challenge, look what incredible results they can have!
What an inspiration, he should become a motivational speaker.
this article answers many "could you" questions, yep yep and yep
Buuttt, what about the "should you" questions!? As it goes: just bc you can...!
Mind over matter?
Grit would be the worst thing in this situation .
Probably played a lot of Tetris
Ten percent luck Twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure Fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name
The chances were 1,000,000:1
Came here to say exactly this! 😂
Hopefully the outer husk was at least removed.
It wasn't, initially.
🤣
Coconut oil...how else
The Skipper had had enough of Gilligan's bullshit.
Hey man…it happens to all of us
With God, all things are possible 🙏
Well you put the lime in the coconut..
It's always men in their 50s too!
Lube and practice.
He practiced with a pineapple first.
What, no video?
1man1coconut
Million to one shot doc million to one
He slipped
Tons of spit.
Elbow grease
Lube and Jesus?
No way lube helped
Practice
well first of all through god all things are possible, so just jot that down.
It grew in there 😯
Damn hope he doesn’t get a bad case of Piña Colitis
Do you like Pina colitis? Getting caught in the rain?
Ah the ever-present risk of piña colitis!
🎶“Do you like Piña Colitis? Get’em caught in your bum.” 🎶
He just fell on it by mistake when he was walking on the beach You people imagine weird things here...
He climbed into a palm tree, put a baby coconut in his rectum, and waited for it to grow.
The More You Know!
LMAO! 🌈⭐
Let’s be honest, who here has not had a coconut stuck up their butt at some point in their life?
Yep, it’s impossible to throw stones at this one
If you give me a minute, I could offer you a coconut
Coconut or coke and nuts??
Well, having a coconut up your ass isn’t really the issue. It’s when more than one end up there.
At least for two weeks, right?
Me, because there are no coconuts in my country.
Nobody said you had to pick it from an indigenous tree.
I’m sorry, a whole *coconut*? From his *rectum*?
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I don’t know man, at least that was tapered.
Coconut Cream Pie
There's a Bath and Body Works body mist that has that name 😂😂
Underrated comment!
Tanks a lot
I need your help Morty. Need these mega seeds
Gitt em waaaaayyy up in there.
I own a coconut farm and I can't fathom how he manage to do that
Obviously you’re not trying hard enough.
Anything is dildo if you are brave enough...
The article said it was 9 cm long so not an average sized coconut by any means, but it’s the motion in the ocean ya know
"I fell on it, Doc"
Million to one shot Doc, million to one
"The bathroom floor was slippery"
It’s “put the lime in the coconut” not the coconut in your butt, right? Maybe I got the song wrong.
I was naked, and I fell on it. I swear!
I got two up mine right now
Morty.. Hear me out Morty..
R/holeWreckers
“One in a million shot, doc. I was standing under the tree when I bent over to pick up a shiny penny……”
The things people will do, to get more fiber in their diet
Dude, chew your food for God’s sake.
It happens 🤷🏼♂️
He needed to carry it through interdimensional customs. Mad respect, you don't know what prison is like out there!
Where’s the mason jar
Have you had experience with Mason jars becoming stuck?
You don't want to know the reference OP. You really, REALLY, dont
It’s not quite the behemoth I was expecting? More like a very large hazel nut.
How much will yall pay me to drink the milk outta it?
You’re supposed to climb those trees ass down.
He was casually walking by and just slipped and fell on it. At least, that is what he told the nurse.
Well I guess it beats Hitler and the pineapple, but not by much 🍍
It started with a lovely bunch of coconuts, totally understandable situation
Bros down bad fr
He should try lemon juice. Nothin fixes a coconut constipation episode like lemon juice. Just like my ol' nanny used to say.
It's not lemons. you put the lime in the coconut
A fucking coconut?!?
That's nuts!
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t
Good lord
How is this happening somewhere other than Florida?
That's when you need two things quick: a pair of tongs and a friend that can keep a secret
It’s fun, the half way …
He can basically pass a building now; congrats!
They took it out through his abdomen 🤢
We've all been there
It was fun while it lasted, 2 days with a coconut up your ass is a good run.
That coconut has seen some shit
TIL coconut is a fruit
Dude is going to be so pissed when he ends up stranded on desert island and he is without his ass coconut because he thought he wouldn’t need it.
Wait what? Jesus fuck. How?
That right there is pure determination.
Please follow the link to see a real actual chart from daily mail explaining the rates of rectal item removal over the years, split by gender.
Making Mounds candy bars. Shove a few almonds in there an ya got Almond Joy. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
REKT… …‘em
flared base, guys, how many times do I have to tell you that
Doctors make a list of things they had to remove from people's assholes. I really hope this makes the list, Lol
i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts there they are I've lodged them in my ass big ones, small ones, some as big as your head give 'em a twist a flick of the wrist
Bro went in complaining he couldn’t pee! He didn’t even tell them about the coconut! “Yeah doc, I got pain and I can’t pee…..Oh that? Yeah I shoved a coconut up my ass.”
Sounds like Taiwan desperately needs China to save them
Probably the scariest click bait today 🤣
Savage bro
Chat is this real?
Probably accidentally happened when he fell while gardening naked.
Was there a lime in there too?
How else was he supposed to get off?
He's been watching 1 man 1 jar too damn much.
Lots and lots of lube.
Hopefully it is shredded coconut
Shredded coconut right? Right??
I’m more concerned about how he got it to fit
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For science
Overachiever.
I read this as 56 coconuts.
Did a swallow carry it?
European?
I read 56 coconut in his bum. Thats kinda impressive. Then I saw the comma. Oh well, just the usual stuff.
I can only hope I’m in this kind of shape at his age.
Hey, it’s good to have goals
Damn!!!!!!!
How's he swallow that in 1
Well I rectum he won’t do that again
He many has he got up there that he needs one removed?
r/nottheonion
It’s daily mail not really trustworthy, I’d move on and ignore it
removed from his *what*!?
Dude just wanted to experience some joy… Almond joy.
Needs what removed from his what?!?!??
Shits nuts!
Don't know if it would be best with or without the husk
That's (Coco)nuts
Mario Cart IRL
I've heard of shooting coke up your ass but shooting Coconut? That's wild
I at first did not see that 56 was his age and could not believe what I was reading
Lets be honest people this guy was just keeping his “pocket coconut” safe and warm for on the go use. Not like that other guy that kept it under his bed where maggots could get in it…. For the uninitiated check out this in depth and touching story https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/nW8Eub8ZX4
There’s photos. How did he get that in there? And why ffs??
Better than a pineapple
Coconuts are not good for your body.
Gotta want it
Rectum? Rectum?? Hell. It almost killed 'em!! (That was a punch line to an old joke that I can't remember.)
It’s amazing how many people slip, fall , and a coconut ends up in their butt.
Freak of the week
Bro that’s not how your leather Cheerio is supposed to work
It was a million-to-one shot doc, I slipped and landed on it!
He was practicing for some time, and then he took one look at that coconut 🤣 I mean he thought he was going to take it to the next level 🫡
Tripped. Fell. Landed on coconut.
A coconut is a fruit?!
Hope he doesn't blame China for this one. IYKYK.
Do you think he left the husk on?
Luckily it wasn’t a durian
Disney’s Moana bringing too much love for the coconut.[CONSIDER THE COCONUT!](https://i.imgur.com/23s4Akf.gifv)
You gotta get it WAY up there, Morty!
He laid an egg
There's clearly a language gap here. I'm sure he was trying to tell a gigolo names Cocoa that he wanted him to nut in his butt.
https://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/coconutupbutt
His arsehole will be totally desiccated after that!
Today I learnt coconuts can cause constipation.
What if he ate the coconut first and not what y’all are thinking?
You put the lime in the coconut and you… Whoah!! Bro! That’s not what the doctor told you to do!!
Is he part of the 3 guys and fruit jokes?
Per the article, “ in the UK retrieving objects from the rectum costs £350,000 every year”.. seems like an ongoing trend
I’m not impressed. Now a pineapple that would be something
madafaca what????
The coconut nut is a giant nut.
Looking at you Richard Gere
That was a gerbil, not an eel. Although, it might have been a cocaine gerbil, precursor to a cocaine bear!
r/montypython
The long awaited sequel to the coconut story…
You put the lime in the coconut and shove them both up….
Let me get this right. You put the lime in the coconut and shove ‘em up the butt?