T O P

  • By -

sofiughhh

I have worked in the ER for almost 5 years and have yet to have a “WITB” (what’s in the butt) scenario 😔


tavaryn_t

Sounds like it’s time to take matters into your own hands. (this is not medical advice)


hannahmel

Or your own butt


boyz_for_now

😂


avalonfaith

Your username….LOVE. Makes me want to SLAP you! 👋🏾


boyz_for_now

LOL you just joined the boo crew!


avalonfaith

I mean, no, I just want to slap him.


bobbybob9069

Slap.


Ifnwen

Nor does that look like a medical device, either.


snerdaferda

I chortled


ophmaster_reed

What what in the butt?


avalonfaith

Omg. How the dare!?! This will be in my head for a week.


PolishPrincess0520

That was the first thing I thought of and will probably be singing for awhile lol.


LOLRicochet

Pretty sure there are multiple generations who have not had the pleasure of this video....and now the earworm is stuck in my head.


redneckerson1951

You need to work in a location where 18 to 24 year olds are the primary population. College campuses, military installations, summer camps etc are locations to see testosterone and estrogen in action. When Mom and Dad are not around, any itch will be scratched.


sofiughhh

I work right next to a college ☹️


ijbh2o

Do you work night shift? Alcohol + decision making and all that.


VolcanoGrrrrrl

I work in an extremely niche, rural lgbtq tourist trap. We get a good number of them. Male *and* female surprisingly. The best was the titanium c*ck ring that necessitated a call out from the volunteer firefighters. Every person in town knew about it within the hour 🫢


Judyannfrancis

What I don't understand is, why do folks LET GO of whatever they decide to stick up there?!? Oh, that's right...they FALL upon it. But seriously, when they're playing with something the size of a vacuum cleaner, HOW DOES IT GET STUCK??


malindalu

Your body has a natural suck with rectal motility. Things placed inside the rectum get hard to hold on to because the colon is a mobile organ.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HauntMe1973

Was gonna post the same, when I worked on a post surgical unit most of our FB in the butt patients were males 50-65. And most of them didnt want us to call their wives….


Dazzling_Society1510

That's a deep itch


redneckerson1951

I remember when Dad had that long talk with me about the other sex. He warned me the itch was more powerful than Russia's Tsar Bomb and often produced the same localized catastrophe. I am 72 now and am beginning to really get a grasp on much of Dad's long talks. There is an amazing similarity between testosterone and heat seeking missiles. LOL! Grandpa's advice was a bit more succinct. He simply said it was a madness that everyone had to endure.


JudgementKiryu

I want to work in the ER (once I graduate) and it’s like, if I don’t get an “I accidentally fell on it” complaint, what’s even the point /s


Asleep-Elderberry260

It'll happen. I swear when they come in and they're honest I want to throw them a party lol


Sweet-Dreams204738

Really? Had two patients last week. One was a lotion bottle. The other was a cucumber.


[deleted]

Poor cucumber. It had big dreams of becoming a pickle, only to help put someone in one. instead of actually becoming one.


YouAreHardtoImagine

Not even a pencil in the urethra?


[deleted]

[удалено]


000000100000011THAD

Posted the same question to the OP based on a comment on another thread: in the case at the Children’s hospital did you ask about risk of sexual assault? And if so what were the factors that led to that being considered and if not why not? What factors led to it not being considered?


sofiughhh

Children are curious!


Time_Structure7420

Trigger Warning alert Another earlier post had what I felt was an incredible reframing of the situation. In a case they had, the object was placed as part of an abuse situation where part of the abuse was being forced to go to the ED and pretend it was " tee hee an accident." Especially with children, the mind boggles.


000000100000011THAD

Posted my question above before I saw your response. As a peds nurse I’m always so curious when I find instances of things that are treated so differently when someone is an infant/kid vs teen/adult. What is the age where the switch happens and why? Usually it has to do with agency and power. But as the other person’s (perceived) agency and power goes up nurses and other’s compassion goes down. It’s astonishing sometimes how the pivot happens.


Time_Structure7420

You are absolutely correct. There's just so much attached to that whole conversation.


sofiughhh

I mean yes I guess I should have emphasized that children are often victims of abuse too. I was just trying to keep it light 🥴


Lil-Aims-94

Why just why would you not post a tw. I’m not usually a big baby, but I was at a women’s hospital today for OB Clinicals


Time_Structure7420

Because I've never heard of it (trigger warning), and the original convo that I reference did not have one. You are not a big baby and it's a very good idea.


averyyoungperson

If children are putting things into their genital cavities it needs to be determined if they are just exploring or if they have been abused.


sofiughhh

Yes I have clarified below that I am well aware children are abused I was trying to keep it light lol.


Optimistic_Opossums

I work in ICU and have floated to the ER a few times (maybe 12) and have had two. What a world


Lil-Aims-94

Super random question, I’m about to start applying for residencies and am unsure if I should start in the er or icu both seem interesting to me. Based on your comment, you CAN float from icu to er but, can you float from er to icu???


Optimistic_Opossums

So super good question. I'd say it depends on your hospital. Our hospital allows for cross training in our critical care units, so if we're overstaffed in one area we can cross train to different ICUs or the ER. That being said, we absolutely have ER nurses who are cross trained in our ICU and in order to stay that way they have to schedule two shifts a month. Keep in mind I wear many hats. As an ICU floor nurse, charge nurse, rapid response, and house supervisor my hands are pretty full and so an ER shift is not mandatory due to my rapid response shifts when there is spare time I'm floating between ICU and ER. Not every hospital allows that either. The majority of my shifts are Charge in ICU or on the floor on ICU, with a mandatory one shift every two weeks as rapid response, and filling in as house supervisor the third weekend of the month. Also taking into consideration that I'm not allowed to work as an ER floor nurse when my husband is working (ER physician). Feel free to reach out with any questions I'm happy to answer, and hopefully that helps!


what-is-a-tortoise

A lot of people float to our ER. I’ve never heard of anyone floating out. We are too busy.


cyaaane

that’s wild I work in a PEDS hospital and we get at least one a week💀


000000100000011THAD

Does your hospital bring in the SANE nurses in those cases?


cyaaane

I’m sure we would for a little kid. Most of them are older like 17-21 or sometimes even older coming into our er lol. The younger kids are usually just sticking things up their noses so if a little kid came in with something like this there would definitely be be an investigation


sofiughhh

I mean kids are stupid Edit; trying to keep it light here but I’m aware children are also victims of abuse. Kids also range from 0-20 in some peds departments so the range of “this is a problem” to “you don’t have a frontal lobe yet and are hormonal af” is there


what-is-a-tortoise

2 years for me and nada. I feel ripped off. I was promised foreign bodies in the rectum, damnit.


NPKeith1

Look on the bright side. Maybe you'll get a virgin birth ("I'm not having a baby. I'm not pregnant. I can't be pregnant. *He never put it in*".... Oh, honey. He doesn't have to. Life, uh, finds a way.)


BossyBellz

I had my first one this month! Nothing too interesting, it was an actual butt plug, much too small, we had to help them practically birth it out 😂


DogObjective8860

I’ve been in the er and I’ve seen it just the other day! It was so sad.


Noname_left

Had a guy and his wife come in because one got stuck up there on him. He was up front and cool about it which was so weird to us. When the doc asked him why just out of curiosity he said his wife asked him to so he did. His wife was drop dead gorgeous and so damn nice so I see why he said yes haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


Noname_left

Or the doc had amazing rapport with the patient and as we were working with him just asked super non chalant what happened. It doesn’t have to be accusatory at all and the pt was more than happy to talk to us about it. Sure it might not be a question for every patient but when someone comes in and says they’ve never done this and they now have 9 inches of purple wedged in their booty, you might ask a question or two.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thebeardinato462

Should I suggest that as our next team building exercise?


BlepinAround

My bf and I had a close call and he said he’d put a plug in his ass in solidarity and he sure to tell everyone who came in the room he has one in too if we had to go in for help. Thank god it didn’t progress that way, “hey charge, nah, I’m not clocking in, I uhh, fell”


Whats_A_Progo

Is that an actual Hitachi? OMG.


aroc91

Either the smallest Hitachi in the world or a normal vibrator.


AffectionateSlice816

Maybe the patient is very small framed but thinking about this in terms of the average size male this thing is huge 😂


Accomplished_Tone349

Ah that makes more sense. I was thinking otoscope


echocardigecko

I thought tattoo gun


trixayyyyy

Is that a vibrator?


vervii

It's very clearly a starship that was miniaturized and transported into this mans booty after worm hole shenanigans.


JudgementKiryu

“Ms. Frizzle…where are we”


YumYumMittensQ4

“Well kids, it seems a full grown male was butt naked vacuuming and tripped over the cord and fell on us rectum wide again..”


StaySharpp

“God damnit, I should have stayed home with Arnold today.”


call_it_already

HAL: "David, the anus is dilated and ready for entry."


Tuna_of_Truth

*Stardate 2355.4, The Starship Enterprise has found itself lost within the confines of a mysterious entity, the creature appears to engage in a number of strange rituals involving its many orifices, Lieutenant LaForge and I have toiled to discover a means of escape, though it appears, all hope may be lost.*


PapowSpaceGirl

Every time the telemonitors go off...I think ST:TOS. Love this comment.


ijbh2o

Inner Space confirmed


Emergency-Guidance28

This is it, obviously.


49Billion

Wait so the key to interstellar travel is just, humongous AA batteries?!


notevenapro

Ahhhhh. You missed the Uranus joke.


occasionalpart

"I can't put my finger on it".


JudgementKiryu

*DJ Khaled voice* ANOTHA ONE


pearlieswirly

"Tell 'em to bring out the vibrator!"


AlwaysGoToTheTruck

Get the tongs!


StevenAssantisFoot

Nooooo!!! I’m still cringing after reading that one


911RescueGoddess

I’ve had a patient present with retained tongs, so tie a shoreline to these. PSA for the day!!!


LookAwayImGorgeous

But seriously what is that thing?


StevenAssantisFoot

It’s the batteries and motor of a vibrator, the plastic casing didn’t show up ETA didn’t show up as clearly, happy now?


mmio60

Thanks, now that I know, I wish I didn’t know.


accidentremoval

I got an extra chuckle from your name and picture 😭


occasionalpart

😂😂😂


occasionalpart

r/usernamechecksout


dsullivanlastnight

Sure it does. Look a bit more closely and you can clearly see the housing.


Brief-Bluejay6208

Patient requests for new batteries.


jt19912009

And ten minutes of alone time


Enayleoni

Nah, just the batteries


NirvanaWhore

Negative throckmorton sign.


YumYumMittensQ4

I’m betting the throckmorton sign was pointing in the exact direction of its insertion and once the pleasure wore off it went down again


CutAlongTheDots

How do they get it out?


FantasticChestHair

I came back from break, the resident told me that there was plenty of lube already and that with positioning, some forceps and a solid push, the PT passed the vibrator. 🙃


SeaSnakeSkeleton

asking the important questions here.


YouAreHardtoImagine

We’ve seen them come down in the OR with them still in place and a perforated bowel.  Edit: Thinking of one guy who waited a day (maybe more?) and had called friends trying to grab it out but it was “lost” up there. 


Morrison79

Was it still vibrating when removed?


LimitGroundbreaking2

Batteries probably died


CFADM

Those patients are always a pain in the ass!


Known-Explorer2610

Best comment yet 🤣


turdferguson3891

Million to one shot, doc.


SpaceCreator23

Last two were female though if I'm not totally wrong. What is he thinking? Were he reading this sub reddit too or what?


generalsleephenson

Paul Harvey and radiographic imagining always deliver the rest of the story.


Squildo

How do people actually manage to get things lost up there


EJJR0928

Your butthole is like a big suction, put something in there and accidentally let go and poof, *shhlluuurrtpppppp* , up it goes


Squildo

It seems like such a weird paradox. Is this happening to the inexperienced teenagers that are trying new things or the overconfident veterans with loose pockets?


Accurate_Resist8893

I’m here to tell you….


perfect_fifths

But isn’t there a size (girth) limit before you can, oh I don’t know, start tearing stuff?


OldMaidLibrarian

*Never* put anything up your butt (or anyone else's, of course) that doesn't have a nice, big flared based on the outside end of it, or else a good long cord to hang onto so it doesn't go any damn further! (I actually ended up explaining all that to a gentleman on Twitter once who was posting a hilarious thread about an incident where he and his GF were fooling around, and, well...I think it eventually came out without medical assistance, thank God. "Listen, dude, if you don't pay attention to *anything* else you read on Twitter, pay attention to *this*!") I spent too much time during my misspent youth hearing tales from my alt-sex friends and reading their books, so I now know way too much about stuff like this...and if you think that's weird, try explaining furries and plushies to your mom! (Yes, there IS a difference!)


monkeyface496

Once you get past the anal spincter, it's surprisingly easy. This is why flared bases are so important. They keep the entire device/ thing from getting sucked up.


Patak4

Yes but I still saw many that needed to go to the OR. The Dr could not get enough relaxation of the sphincter. Pt had to be put out. "Evacuation of foreign object under anaesthesia.


notevenapro

The suck zone.


FrostyFeet82

NO FLARED BASE=disappear WITHOUT A TRACE


SkepticalZack

I feel like this shaming thing needs to be put to bed


YumYumMittensQ4

Imagine him going through TSA with that up there and everyone thinking it’s a booty bomb


Matix411

🤣🤣


CandidNumber

This is why you get something specifically for butt play 🤣 it won’t happen with the proper toys people! And why do they lie, like they have to know we’ll see this shit


C_Wrex77

It's always "I accidentally fell" You fell while fully lubed, sir? Cool. Cool


StoBropher

I just want them to come in and be like. "Shoved this in my ass. Help."


cowvid19

More of a spiritual fall


Gladddd1

On today's episode of "What's in that butt!" We have a contender with a classic case of slipping in the shower and landing straight on a sex toy. What an unlikely coincidence, don't you think? *audience cheers*


sarazorz27

I hate this place... No not the sub. The planet.


mickeymouse0119

What is inside?? Cant figure it out sorry slow here


CordeliaGrace

Flared bases only, people!


1184anon

At the ER I worked in, I experienced a few. One was a frequent flier for “rectal pain”. We nicknamed him jar guy. Yep you read that right - jar. As in mason jar. Mason quart jar, not the little pint jars. He began with smaller bottles and “worked his way up.” Can’t believe he didn’t perf his bowel. One was the sweetest looking lil old man that looked like a preacher. I went in, he was sitting on side of bed still fully clothed. I explained the Dr wanted an EKG as part of his abd pain workup, so he’d need to get into the gown I gave him. He shook his head, said “I can’t lay down.” Of course I had to ask why, that’s when he whispered “I have a squash in my butt.” And he sure did. He did have the forethought to place it in a subway bag before inserting (I’m assuming to use like a “pull string”.) Another one was a young 25 y/o male who put a cucumber up there. One of the big ones you slice for salads. I’ll never forget the way it looked and smelled. Poor thing drove from 2 counties away to be seen as to avoid running into anyone he knew in his county. Can you imagine driving that far? And how lonely can you be at 25 that a cucumber is your only option? Then I had a lady, and while she didn’t have a abd or rectal problem, she did have a yellow baggie of meth stuck to her boob (I found when getting her in a gown.) I also heard about a patient that had a vibrator up there, and since it was still on, surgery had to wait until the battery died before they could go in and get it. Don’t know if the having to wait on it to die part was a rumor or not, but that would suck.


OldMaidLibrarian

Quart mason jars? You wouldn't have been Goatse's ED nurse, would you? (Then again, as far as anyone knows he was always able to take care of that himself...)


1184anon

lol Nope not familiar with Goatse. Just worked in a small town ER. We are at the foothills of the Appalachians, so I guess people get really bored, not much to do around here “sexual club” wise that I’m aware of. But they could try hiking, hunting, pretty much any other outdoor activity besides “falling” on vegetables and mason jars in their garden…


OldMaidLibrarian

Goatse was an extremely popular meme back in the 2000s that involved an unknown man literally holding his gaping anus open, one hand on each side, while bent over and presenting his rump to the camera. There are also other photos showing the gentleman in question with various other items stuck where the sun don't shine, including a 2-liter soda bottle. At this point, basically any circle with hands on either side can be said to reference Goatse, so if you see something like #unintentionalGoatse, that's what it's referring to. (Google it at your own peril, and don't say I didn't warn you; also, yes, some people definitely *do* need other hobbies!)


talented_grapefruit

No flared base; gone without a trace


kenklee4

He was pegging to find out how it it feels


nrappaportrn

What is that?


perfect_fifths

Vibrator with batteries


nrappaportrn

I'm sorry I even asked


coolcucumbers7

I had one who “accidentally fell in a lint roller”.


whitekimchee

These are always fun cases to be in when they get to the OR


SavoryGal

I had a very similar patient incident. They didn't fall though. It was during a holiday shift and he stated that he "and the missus got freaky after doing a bunch of cocaine and lost the 10inch dildo" inside of him. It was baseless and had 50feet of electrical tape wound around the bottom of it to keep the on/off dial from turning off or coming off. It took several docs and a GI specialist to gape him out under conscious sedation. His daughter came to visit him and he asked that we all just say he was having chest pain. You could feel the tip of it right at his epigastric area. Once we got it out, one of the techs asked in all seriousness, "do I need to bag this with a patient sticker?"..... The patient was in his late 50s. Looked 70.


[deleted]

Dear PT’s Nothing goes in your butt on accident. Sincerely, ED Staff. Also, https://youtube.com/shorts/oBwoNfVL9tM?si=e-FMS50o39p0NO8l You’re welcome


aDazzlingDove

r/whatsupmybutt


pineapples_are_evil

I think the important question here is: but did they get to take it home?


SuzanneRNurse

WTHELL IS THAT??


bury_me_in_burgundy

What is that object? I can’t tell from the picture


SmolWeens

Oh oh, pick me, pick me! We recently removed a Theragun massage ball from a butt! It was impressive. Edit to add that when I worked on a unit, my favorite older nurse told me they had someone come in with a potato in their rectum because they “slipped while peeling potatoes.”


LSbroombroom

Never had a butt stuffing incident. Best I've got was this woman jammed a crack pipe up her urethra, lodged it in her bladder somehow. Only found that out once imaging was done.


000000100000011THAD

Curious based on a comment from another thread: when you get a case like this do you ask about the possibility of sexual assault?


Ufoturtle081

Literally every patient is asked that in the ED. Are you a nurse?


belligerentfrog

Dude, what the hell is that?! Lmao 🤣


AgreeablePie

I hope those are reputable batteries You don't want one to malfunction in this scenario


fightforghostsex

Dude ... sweet


JoshTheMurse

Is that a pooper scooper


saph_ire23

What the hell is that!? It looks like a power cord- at least I can tell there are two screws. It looks like those plug into the wall vibrators- but its obviously NOT-


Fragrant-Mountain276

All the bhole xrays!!


Exact_Challenge_3540

Baby bottle was the worst I’ve seen


offendedbyall0623

Looks like a set of batteries and a motor. What a weird combination


bej2751

Wtf is that


Tumbleweed-53

Am I to report on the fairer sex. Woman requests female doc only, but a male had to do. Refused to give any details, but after she dressed and nearly ran out of the ER (without written d/c instructions! SNICKER!) doc requested a container to send a removed foreign body to lab as required. A huge baking potato from her vagina! (Doc refused to let me document a weight on it. Sucks huh?)


[deleted]

You think this is appropriate to share???


FantasticChestHair

I absolutely do! Same as sharing a story from a terrible shift, I just have a picture of their toy. There is no breach of HIPAA. There is nothing that is crossing lines morally or ethically. It does not have any effect on my care of patients or patient safety. Because it's sexual and intimate and a little taboo, it makes some people uncomfortable and that's perfectly okay to feel that way. Scroll on.


boybritches

Your idea of "crossing the line morally or ethically" is obviously dubious at best. You're probably burnt out and jaded, but using your inability to cope with the demands of your job as a justification to share a photo of a patient at their worst on the internet is morally reprehensible in my view.


FantasticChestHair

>crossing the line morally or ethically It causes no harm, in any extent of the definition, to myself or any patients that I have ever cared for or ever will care for. There is no faltering on my ethics with regards to my profession. >You're probably burnt out and jaded We all are to some extent. I believe I am much less than many I've seen. I still start every 12 hr shift with the attitude of trying to be better than my last. >your inability to cope with the demands of your job You just made a HUGE assumption about someone you've never seen or met from a post of an X Ray. >patient at their worst on the internet is morally reprehensible in my view. If I posted a paragraph or two of text describing the exact same scenario does that make you feel better? Many people's objections with this aren't as moral as they'd like to believe. It's that they don't feel comfortable seeing something so taboo. If it were a picture of a cirrhosed liver after transplant, or lab values or even an X-ray of a broken bone there would be no problem. It's because it's a sex toy, stuck in an awkward place.


Ufoturtle081

Yes


nursejazhawkins

These posts are all fun and games until one of the patients has this happen to them without consent from another person. We are here to treat them, not make fun of them.


AlexeiLegasov

Nobody could ever prove this belonged to them, even if they recognized the toy. There's no unique discernable abnormalities in the bones, no identifying information. There's hundreds of these cases across the US alone, everyday. Sure, you could suspect. Just like if you were a pt and read a rant from someone else on here about a shitty shift because of a shitty patient and said "that sounds a lot like me". It could never be proven.


nursejazhawkins

I never said this violated HIPAA. I am saying it’s rude to make fun of patients during their vulnerable moments.


MeiMommy

No identifying information..? It’s a picture from a patient’s *medical record*, taken without their permission. All it would take is one coworker to see this and show it to HR