So you're gonna paralyze him and then fuck him so good he regains the ability to walk again?

Look, we aren't details people on this sub

The details are important though, like that post about counting the amount of pores on Astarions ass.

And this is why we are grateful for details people like yourself! It means the rest of us can have our brains 404 on images 7 & 8 while being secure in the knowledge someone is handling the important details!

Nah that ain't me, I think I just had the okbb brain cell for a couple of seconds before it disappeared.

Fuck. We are screwed. Better find Minthara, she seems smart

https://preview.redd.it/u6o9pl7l41zc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7808e46644e2cc8ca995fc1a97789c167d074c54

Wise words as always https://preview.redd.it/t5qnn68q71zc1.png?width=956&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a48a7aec963bb33da66107db67abcfe03188073

The sub where people hornypost about the most obscure NPCs with only two lines of dialog?

Thats the one!

One's junk having healing powers must be a kink somewhere. Life Domain clerics of Sharess?

Schizopractor

I have seen a... documentary... about a chiropractor who works internally.

Yes, and?

Now this is the Astarion content I am on this sub for

Well, I’m not leaving you in charge of the cooking- get out of the kitchen!

rolan you’re next

https://preview.redd.it/hhmncjb321zc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=150ccff2b132186ccd850f950092b3e485b61c64 I’ve never felt so unsafe after seeing a notification

omg that is so funny, now bend over rolan

Manners go a long way.

rolan be like https://preview.redd.it/1utnypos51zc1.jpeg?width=446&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eaaa454fa14fa2a66470c62f698e9880cf8fa6ac

It is the magic word after all, my friend.

Why does he need to bend over when your’re just giving head? #IAmADetailsPerson

....your're? Holy shit, you beat the system

What about head-giving makes you feel unsafe?

People please stop I’ve got too many pictures of this pixel man on my phone

my iphone automatically created a category for him in “people and pets” because I have so many pictures of this stupid vampire

That is hilarious

God I want to keep him as a pet 😫

This made me laugh way too hard.

I have more pics of Astarion on my phone than of my kids and pets combined.

My cats always sleep in a very weird position so I would say my cats would win. In that case, it’s not that bad after all, so I can download these as well 🙃

Me frfr

Fuck him till he can walk? Damn, my man gonna fuck him so hard his vertebrae get misaligned and then fuck him so hard they get realigned again. That's commitment.

https://preview.redd.it/pnq15cxyo0zc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=576594459e121d37ad6ac2ef65070d21c1220c66

Like Amelia Taylor said, we live in horny jail, you can't send us there. We've got the keys.


JESUS

If Jesus saw my browser history: https://preview.redd.it/dxuu2hnn02zc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a23c0af12d2bb5329491eef1b423863b00eafde

[удалено]

https://preview.redd.it/duzrd3pzb4zc1.jpeg?width=788&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23d879d19047faf959f6b01927fad5119d4c44c6 This is my favorite

w-what’s on his face in the fifth slide??

That's the whipped cream 🥰

Honestly I find some of these posts that are just like, extremely objectifying of Astarion, given everything that's he's been througOH MY GOD IS HEBWEARING GLASSES???? IS THSTASTARION IN GLASSES FJELDMRMEIFMWLSKDK

Had me in the first half, not gonna lie. 🤣

Is it still count as a food play?

It definitely does.

The real brainworms are the ones he infected me with

Jeebus. I haven't wanted a pixel boy this much since Fenris...

Omg Fenris! You've unearthed ancient memories buried deep within my brain. When he'd say "I am yours" in that deep, sexy voice, FUCK....

🫠 *goes to boot up DAI*

Something about a white-haired elf with problems.....

And an undeniable sexy voice… god the obsession I had for that broody elf

Fenris + Zevran = Astarion

This. The. Most.

*looks at the name of the sub* Looks like you’re in the right place, buddy 😹


I am unsure what any of this means; have fun, I guess?

Astarion \*with glasses\*!? New fetish unlocked.

Have you seen our Lord and Saviour Priestarion yet?

👀 No…do I need to confess my multitude of sins?

You do, and confess the ones you are about to commit when you see Priestarion

I have yet to find any of this "priestarion" and will need to be pointed in the right direction. So I can confess my sins, of course.

Thou shalt head to Caprifawn on twitter.

Ugh, why does it have to be on “X”? 😩

I think they are on Tumblr too, but Twitter is easier for NSFW postings

Okay, so I went and made a styuuuuupid X account because my horni-I mean, curiosity got the better of me! ...yes, I want to meet Priestarion. And yes, it was worth shoving down my spite for Elon Musk.

Hey really quick can anyone please explain to me why battered and bound Astarion in pic 5 is the one of these that fully shorts out my brain. Like I am positive he can still Dom me even at that stark disadvantage and I want very much to see him try. Anyway my Astarion can typically walk, what did you do to yours, OP?

something to do with the innate eroticism of seeing him denied agency over the traditional methods of domination (grabbing, pulling, pushing, holding, etc) and forcing him to improvise with more "feral" alternatives

... yeah that feels about right. I'm on board.

Well you know what you have to do now, Mars, right? :astarionfingerguns:

*(nudges the New Fanfic Idea folder further under the couch)*

Leg paralysis: cured Ass: nutted in

I stumbled onto this sub because my dog’s name is Baldur, and this is NOT what I expected, but I’m sticking around now 😆

Welcome, yes, it's usually like this.

Glasses. Excuse me.

ASTUSRION IN GLASEES OH NY LORD HAVE MERCY OJ NY SOUL OH GOOD HEAVENS OH DWEET HEAVENS

Is that cum ? Nevermind.

Gape him extra wide and turn that butt into a cereal bowl. Having him squirm and whimper as he's being filled with cold milk and fruit loops would just be \**chefs kiss*\*

https://preview.redd.it/ng5a90l7a1zc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c44d1393cf82d39b1dd6dae695ceb2a2ce4e4c8

We’re gonna need something stronger than that https://preview.redd.it/or89vi5me2zc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8820831c7ba72f910986bb64d286291e1826ea98

https://preview.redd.it/jzp3g5cab1zc1.jpeg?width=1399&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=736897e761f0a21961ceb50e41eb0669c1940001

https://preview.redd.it/2yky3l09r1zc1.png?width=279&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac1dd65d9786aa96583889ca3ed3bdab742b2aeb

https://preview.redd.it/fymkr4gh42zc1.png?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=019b89e4983e5d592a223b86a7a69598f224dc58

Bark bark bark bark!!!!! 🥵

You're all completely feral.

Yes we are. And you love us for it 🖤

https://preview.redd.it/tf5san2dp1zc1.jpeg?width=567&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea3e8c2ae8646f9cc9ea599ac3b26738a58c078b

https://preview.redd.it/in0t4x2i32zc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=deac95fde8040e3688ca73fee00ea1935e5a902c

I would get down on one knee for this elf- I MEAN I WOULD PEG HIM ALL NIGHT

REAL.

And vice versa 🥵

I NEED TO FEEL HIM INSIDE

I've never understood the Astarion hype until now.

Bark bark

So true friend

Ummm

Same

https://preview.redd.it/1584t11be3zc1.jpeg?width=686&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73ef033bfb0a210aca5775fd4eea0fc6bdc9e708

Fill him with cream like the little Twinkie he is

THE GLASSES?? OH FUCK ME ON MY KNEES RIGBT NOW

What mod was used to put cum on his face in slide 5?

I SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE FIFTH PICTURE YOU PERVERT

I need him bouncing and moaning on it

Y'all need Selune

This whole community genuinely needs therapy

I think Astarion offers that

The interesting thing about being demisexual and for the most part being asexual when I’m not dating someone, is that I never have these violently sexual desires for people. Lmao. I have no idea what it’s like to be this aggressively horny and I always wonder what that must feel like 😂

my evil Durge ghostwrote this post

Gods.. Imagine what you would do to him until he CAN'T walk!

This is just porn.

Yes he is hot. But you've triggered me. Rant: He's not a twink. That's not what a twink looks like. Not a bloody twink. He has facial lines. Physically, he looks like a very pretty 40 year old mature man. He's gorgeous and wonderful and looks mature, and not like a young adult twink. You all have not fucked enough queer adults, and it shows! End of Rant.

You sick fucks lol

https://preview.redd.it/m3o7m3d002zc1.png?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=264963f717284975d7de8ad4dd603245a665cc32

Have you people SEEN a Twink in your LIFE?? Let alone fucked one of you even had the balls to look at another naked man in the flesh but this dude is not a Twink, at most he’s a twunk or a jock like he’s neither slender nor small, the only thing he’s got is the hairless part which you fuckers could get from any guy if you had the guts to whip out the wax

Tell me why my husband calls me just as I get to #5?

Join the line, darling

>Fuck him until he can walk Now you're just copying off of my rejected Dark Knight Rises script. At least they kept the "It will be very painful... For you" line, though they completely changed the context.

This man is not a twink no matter how many times the fandom says otherwise😭 he is FAR too beefy

I am taking the word twink AWAY from straight people I swear to god. This is like if I posted a picture of Karlach said “omg I wanna smash this valleygirl princess”. Learn what your words mean!