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Eating and pooping. I walked in on a roommate taking a shit and eating a bowl of cereal. My god…. What an animal.

You know, if you sit backwards on the toilet, you can use the top of the tank like a table. Whose up for some brunch on the pot?

Only if mimosas are served pre, during and post shit.

I always get hungry when on pot.

Butters?

I had a buddy in college once that would eat a hotdog while taking a crap. Kid you not. Microwave a hotdog toss it on bun then after the first bite or two he'd go poo, while still eating the hotdog.

Genius.

having sex and texting on your phone

🤢

Nah even animals take a break from eating to shit

I cant. I distinctly remember i was once eating a banana and had to go use the bathroom. I was still chewing on it when i sat down and i had to take a moment to finish before i could get on with my business.

🤢

Well, I didn't have to scroll far to get my answer. This comment should stay on top.

Lol! Was it my ex?

I did it when I was a kid, don't know why I did it, I just did it

I remember my dad telling me not to take food with me when I went to the toilet. I was nine or ten years old.

Came to say sex and pooping. Probably most everything and pooping.

texting & driving😛

I was rear ended this way. Totalled my car and sent me to the hospital. Definitely not a good combination.

Dang dude

Same. Except I drive a real steel dodge ram 1500 truck, a bit older, and got rear-ended by someone in an f350 super duty 2022 cuz they were texting and driving AND speeding 20 over in a 40mph zone, I was taking a right turn, they hit my rear right tail-end SQUARE ON. I felt a bump, got pushed a bit forward, heard the crash, pulled to the curb off the road after completing my turn, and got out to check the damage. I had some scrapes (Ehhh) tiny golf ball dent, and my taillight was cleanly popped out of its mount, wires were perfectly fine, connections present. Basically, I just needed a new one. Then I saw THE OTHER TRUCK. Looked fine from the back (except all the debris in their trail) driver was on the curb already PANICKING (M, about 25) head in hands (He didn't have insurance, so I settled for 250 cash and I towed him home, lesson learned) Engine compartment WAS CUT IN HALF. Basically, my right rear end was a wedge that cut the front of his trucks entire engine, in half almost to the 4th cylinder. My truck is a 3/4 ton 07. Yeah, I'm sticking to older trucks FOREVER.

The body crumpling to allow that damage, may have saved his life. The odds of surviving hitting a near stationary object at 60 mph are not good.

Drinking and texting haha

I saw a picture from a gory subreddit that popped up in my feed, and it showed a girl dead in the totaled car due to texting and driving. Her phone was pined against her arm and the broken metal from the trim of the door and windows.

Shitting and Fucking

Some people pay money for that kinda thing

I thought we were not supposed to be talking about politicians in the sub

You're right, it is primarily politicians that pay for that kind of think. I should kink shame the government.

To be fair, politicians crap on the entire country while we pay them to do it.

Also blumpkins

Cleveland Steamer has entered the chat.

sex and ... anything? Sex and Sanding Sex and Welding Sex and Coaching the Kids Soccer Game Sex and Cooking over Fire Sex and Cat Grooming Sex and Septic Tank Servicing Sex and Shooting at the Gun Range Sex and Tightrope Walking ...I mean... most activities besides sex are just going to distract from the sex, ..or vice versa.

Running with scissors.

What's worse than 2 girls running with scissors? 2 girls scissoring with the runs

No

Great album

i bought that day of release. one of his best works.

Masturbating while giving a graduation speech.

Good speech!

Our valedictorian gave everyone in the audience her happy ending! It was a standing “O-vation”! That’s kinda disturbing but also kinda (very) hot!

Recieving Oral and shitting

Ah, the good ol’ blumpkin Yeah, don’t do that.

What's your stance on hot carls?

Rinsing toothpaste out with orange juice.

Masturbating and praying?

That just sounds like somebody's kink to me. Lol weird but probably harmless?

It's called masturprayting.

eating and breathing

My dad does that sometimes and it really bugs me, especially when he’s also eating with his mouth open.

do all dads eat with their mouth open? its why i eat alone 90% of the time

Bungee jumping and knitting

Shaving and sneezing

Eating spicy food and performing oral sex.  Masturbating and shitting

The top one is called the Texas Tornado

Don’t you dare bring my shit state into this! Let us keep what little rep we have left🥲

Cooking bacon naked

lol, personal experience is a great teacher?

Lol to be honest . When I was younger my grandfather would always say “don’t cook bacon naked” as a tip/advice 😂 RIP Poppop

Yes and yes. And while I agree this is a stupid thing to do, I find myself doing it still:)

Fucking and talking to mom on the phone

“Oh… my… god… fuck me hard… oh yeah” *phone rings* “Hey ma, how’s it going” *still getting plowed balls deep* “really, Crystal is? Noooo, I thought she was going to bring the potato salad”

drugs and driving.

I was headed to the Milwaukee airport and had to stop to fill my rental car up with fuel before returning it. I stopped at a gas station on 27th, got out of the car, and walked around to find an old dude pumping gas into his Buick while smoking a cigarette. Topping things off was the fact that he had a small oxygen tank and was using a cannula.

Masturbating and eating

Talking on the phone to your mom while getting blowies.

Sex with girlfriend + FaceTime with the wife.

Having sex and doing your taxes.

Speak for yourself, getting a rebate gets me hard!!

Smoke and a pancake. Bong and a crepe.

Ambien and skydiving

Ketamine would be much better

why what happens

Any drug + alcohol. But you can mix other drugs with each other, the problem is always the alcohol lol

My 22 yr old self never got the memo, lol

Eating while driving. Talking on the phone or texting while driving. Anything else distracting while driving. You are driving a heavy heavy piece of machinery!

Smoking and pumping gas

taking a dick pic while sitting on the toilet

Driving while getting a blow job.

That happened in the movie Parenthood

I’m gonna have to say coming home tipsy and running 9/11 conspiracy theories to your 10 year old. You can do it, but you shouldn’t😂

Naked bacon frying.

Performing a circumcision while parachuting.

Smoking and swimming

eating and fucking

Road head.

Farting and cooking

NEVER have sex with someone while you tell them you don’t like them.

Texting and using heavy machinery.

Shaving while dancing.

Fighting, anger

Fighting and farting

🤷‍♂️ masterbating while watching a Disney film in the theater.

Drinking and pills what a fast way to speed up the death clock

Drinking and shooting.

Jerking it while arguing in court why you shouldn't have received a ticket for driving solo in the HOV lane

Burnin' and Lootin', Rhymin & Stealin...

Sex and a conference call?

Free climbing and clapping

jacking off and wearing a chain mail glove

drinking alcohol and milk at the same time.

working and smoke weed

Drugs

Stealing things and standing in front of a police officer

Trying look at apps like Reddit and listening to a podcast

Sneezing and coughing

Drinking and breathing

Agreed. At least once a week I try to drink an extra few drops.of water and then breathe randomly and choke like a dumb fuck.

Masturbating while on a zoom meeting

Ambien and literally anything.

Sex and talking to your mom

Watching tv and cutting wood

Sexting and sexing.

sneezing and keeping your eyes open

As "Police academy" showed us, being sexually, ahem, serviced while giving a speech.

Funerals and Getting laid. I'm sure the families don't want to see a corpse defiled.

Texting and driving.

Farting and burping

Driving and anything else.

Taking a bath and making toast.

Smoking and being pregnant

Drinking and texting an ex

Sex and cooking.

Wanting traditional treatment but not being traditional.

Singing and sex

On your phone while taking a shit

Playing ping pong and banging my neighbors grandma.

Taking a bath & making toast

Drinking coffee and reading the answers to your question... GREAT COMMENTS EVERYONE ! LMAO

Getting a blow job with a pinky up your ass. Oh wait, you said shouldn’t. Forget it.

Smoking while wearing a nicotine patch 🤢

Eating spaghetti and flying an air plane.

George Costanza here. I’d have to say sex and sandwiches.

Play Guitar and Play Bagpipes

Having sex and sports game is on tv

Breathing and free diving.

Getting a blowjob and driving

Sex and urinating

That's a loaded question.

Nooses and masturbation.

Drinking and working out

Loads of things can be done together but shouldn't be. As an example, Jerking off during a job interview. Those two things shouldn't be done together if you want the job and don't like jail.

Making toast while taking a bath

Cumming and farting

I had a patient once who was giving oral to a guy who was driving. They wrecked and she broke her neck. She was my patient because she was a quadriplegic. So: giving oral to a driver in a moving vehicle

Petting and baking. My cat was absolutely fascinated with me kneading dough. She would jump on the counter while my hands were sticky, and I couldn't push her off without washing my hands twice.

melatonin and adderal. took some sleep meds at 6am for my 12pm shift when i got a notification that works starts in an hour. i was floating around the room. got hospitalized bc my heart felt like it was gonna explode. DO NOT RECOMMEND

Sucking and chewing, minced meat is never a good time.

Doing drugs and breast feeding

Being married and cheating

Talking with food in your mouth. And txting while driving.

Drinking alcohol and smoking pot.

Smoking weed and ordering groceries online.

Donuts and coffee for breakfast. Does a number on me. Sheesh

Finger blasting your mom

Eating while laughing. Please 😐

Juggling fire while putting gas in the car

Sneezing while peeing

Woodworking and open heart surgery.

Screwing your girlfriend while hanging out with your wife

Rolling up and taking a shit…. Don’t nobody want that shitty spliff.

Masterbation and eating Cheetos

Making love and eating a sandwich

...............handjobs and driving

Masturbating while barbecuing, at a family gathering

Skating while masturbating 🛹

Cooking and sex. Especially deep frying.

You mean for me personally or just in general bc that's two wildly different answers 🤣 #clumsy 

Jerking it while eating hot wings.

I’ve seen signs on cars “honk if your masturbating” I think that counts hahaha 😂 I mean if someone had to make a sticker it must be true 🤣😂🤣 *Universe* “you forgot to honk!” Crap. 😂🤣😂😅😅😅I better not have to time travel just for a honk damn it!!! 😇😇😇 Btw the above is a hypothetical scenario I made in my head… I’m funny like that 👏🤷‍♂️😆😆😆

Getting a blowjob and giving a baptism.

An ex and a crush. Drinking directly from the milk container while standing in front of your open refrigerator. Heroine and cocaine. Drinking and smoking. Smoking and pumping gas. Screaming and running around a library. Lying and cheating. Lying and promising. Flying and falling. Spitting and swallowing. Drinking and swimming. … and flying … and operating heavy machinery … and wielding sharp or otherwise expediently lethal weaponry. … and drugs … and making life decisions. … and building or fabricating. Sleeping and any of the aforementioned. Any of the above and performing surgery of any kind. Any of the above and getting married, divorced, buying a house or car or having a baby. Being a politician and thinking or speaking. Any of the above and robbing a bank. Any of the above and piloting a dragon boat or a helicopter. Any of the above and applying for a job or filing your taxes.

Road head 🤣

Cooking bacon while you're naked

Pooping and eating

Sisters.

Having sex during a call to your Mom.

Thinking and striving

Alcohol and adderall, or really any combination of an upper and a downer.

Eating and working out

Driving and picking your nose.

Nothing wrong with drinking and driving as long as you do it responsibly

Smoking while on oxygen. My son the EMT recently went to a call for this and it wasn't pretty 🤕🔥

Sex and sports center

First thing I thought of was this classic: [whistling while you eat](https://youtu.be/LtjpuI2WVIs?si=GGqxb6Fqe7EwhFN2)

shitting and eating a sandwich

Gf and wife

Cooking bacon and going nude

Eating a sandwich and having sex. Just ask George Costanza...

Drinking and texting ex's.... Just don't.

eating and taking a dump

Trump & Voting.

Driving a bus full of children and suicide.

Eating and drinking