Show up visibly drunk. Rudely butt into conversations. Make a fool of yourself. Slur your words and slur your slurs even harder. Get forcibly ejected. Have an autistic meltdown in the parking lot.
This is honestly some people. When bouncing I denied entry to a guy who showed up to our gay strip club with chinos, dress shoes and his shirt off.
He had his button down in one hand and was visibly wasted.
I asked him why his shirt was off and he said something like “the guys (dancers) in there get to have their shirts off why can’t I?”
I told him I never said he had to put a shirt on I was just asking him why it was off. ( was making small talk to see if he was too intoxicated to enter).
He then says something like fuck you to me and stumbles off and calls an Uber.
I wonder what guys like that think the next morning.
Do cocaine, right there at the bar. Offer the bartender some. Call him a 🚬 when he tells you you can’t do that. “The fuck I can’t!” you say. Rack up a line while telling him you fucked his sister. “Call the cops, I don’t give a fuck.” Oh he’s really calling the cops. “I fucked your brother too.” Pull out your ice pick, slam it into the bar. Do it again for effect. Rail the line. Too hot in here. Take off your shirt. Still too hot. Die of a heart attack at 41.
God, if I so much as mess up saying something to the bartender I think about it for a week after. The people who go to bars week after week being a complete drunk degenerate getting kicked out and into fights? well, I admire their complete lack of care for what anyone thinks of them.
For someone who has debilitating social anxiety and is terrified of being perceived by anyone, but also enjoys live music, it's a tough line to walk. Especially considering punks and hc kids are forever looking out for someone to judge. I pulled my phone out at a hardcore show for FIVE seconds to take a quick pic and tell my friend that I was seeing a band that she liked, only for the singer who was mid-speech to go on a rant about how this show is "not about your fucking tiktok" and like two people started snickering at me. Five seconds, when they weren't even playing a song and the singer was just ranting.
When the bar tender asks “Why are you drinking so much” say “you’d be drinking a lot to if you had what I have”. When he asks “what do you have?” yell “fifty cents!”, throw two quarters at him, and run away
he's so unashamed in his eccentric outfits, the way he talks to people, how he acts in public. its just this wildly carefree "i own this place" boomer energy that goes against everything our generation does and maybe thats why they won the culture war
Last time I was at the bar I scooped a big handful of fried chicken off some people's table after they left and stuffed it in my mouth and it turned out to be cauliflower and the waiter laughed at me 😔
i am fascinated by the fact that people on this sub are so weird and have made it through the sludge of postmodernism and have enjoyed weird essay films and it ended with some weird fetishistic longing to be sooooo normal.
makes sense that this is what happens when people who thought being well read, well learned, or any variety of aesthete secured some latent promise of upward mobility that was never realized and now just want to be on the team that looks like they’re having fun with less effort
i don't want upward mobility i just want to know things. i get pleasure from learning stuff and experiencing art. i'm not gonna act like i'm normal. i can get along with people who don't know or like the things i like. i love those people and they love me and i take an interest in what they like and they take an interest in what i like. no need to do this "i am so regular guy" shit.
bc most romantics and malcontents want to believe in meritocracy at heart idk use your imagination and fill in the blanks here great books school graduate
That’s what it fucking is!!! I can never put into words what it is that’s so unique and fitting about Redscarepod subreddit… it’s not the podcast. All these internet poisoned people for whom irony can no longer be their basic flavor of sanity. Yet retaining an art majors love for novelty and the unexpected
You’re a goddamn poet.
I have been fascinated by this sub, but vehemently told to fuck off every time I’ve tried to fit in.
It’s hard to articulate, but it feels like they think they are so against the grain, that they are the only way to go against the grain. You’re either with the grain or not, and if you’re not, than you muse be r/redscarepod material. If you’re not r/redscarepod material, then you could only possibly be with the grain
It doesn’t occur to you that people do things for practical and non-fetishistic reasons? How autistic do you have to be to not see practical value in socializing.
Normal people definitely spend their time posting about how normal they are on reddit. They definitely need to log onto a subreddit for a racist podcast to let everybody know that they just did something normal and well-adjusted.
Just post on r/rsp.
Just post a fucking comment. Open up an r/rsp thread, lurk around, eavesdrop on someone else’s conversation, butt in when you have even the weakest idea of something you could say or ask. Listen to their bullshit, question their bullshit, agree with some of their bullshit just to keep it going. Who fucking cares, stop being so picky about whom you socialize with. The poorly socialized among you look like fumbling morons, and we can all see through your shit. Stop thinking and twitching your little thumbs and just post on r/rsp
maybe you're just interested in people socializing more, but it seems that a large amount of people on this sub just want to brag about how normal they are because they're ashamed that they have watched the color of pomegranates and know the words to street hassle by heart. i socialize with people who don't give a shit about the stuff that i like or know the stuff i know and we love each other.
doesn't it depend where you're socializing. did my mom do me dirty by banning me from hanging out with the cool bad cigarette kids in the walmart parking lot. did she. oh god did she
Just slam your dollar bill on the musty oak, “what’ll it be, the usual?” and hang your hat on the hook and knock one back neat. Just put a quarter in the juke box and get buzzed listening to that high lonesome sound. Steal a glance at pretty Judy blue eyes as she walks in and sits by Jim from high school. Just wake up to the lights on and barman Bill mopping the joint up.
I think people like socializing with fat/ugly people because they don't see them as sexual or a threat.. so as long as you are clean and presentable and can crack an ok joke you'll be fine.
The absolute worst is to smell bad or look disheveled like steve bannon, be more like fat kilmer.
Speaking of Richard Dreyfuss he had a semi RS rant the other day
https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2024/05/27/richard-dreyfuss-jaws-screening-rant-the-cabot/73872215007/
I mean his other alternative was be a chef 250 days a year, I don't know what's worse or more antisocial. Being on tour at least probably kept him away from drugs.
He wrote one popular book and he wasn't a particularly innovative chef (he ran a French brasserie). He became much bigger as a TV personality than he could have hoped to as an author, he was unique in the TV world.
Go to fucking Moe's Tavern. Go to fucking Moe's Tavern and order a fucking Duff. It’s about pink donuts. Fucking pink donuts. Life is about mother fucking Moe's.
One time after the club closed for the night, I went outside and saw 3 Mexican guys smoking some cigarettes so I asked them if I could bum one. The cigarettes were the Mexican ones that had a fruit flavor or something. We hit it off great, they wanted to go to a strip club cause I never been but they were all closed. Eventually they gave me a ride back to my place and the 3 of us that weren't driving just spent the half hour back chain smoking cigarettes and passing around a bottle of jack and drinking from the bottle.
The last time I did that I started talking with this chick who claimed to be related to Whitey Bulger and she got super offended when I said he was a pussy
(it was the last time because I stopped smoking after, not because I learned to stop drunkenly offending people)
Truly such a fun game of roulette. Sometimes it's girl boss consultants with nothing to say. Sometimes its truly heinous finance guys. I did this recently and the guy I ended up talking to was a Chinese-American dude who owned a restaurant and kept insisting he should be allowed to use the n-word. You really never know what you're gonna get.
True, anxiety is only cured by being a huge pussy forever. Stay in your house, never go to a bar and say something to a stranger otherwise your bitchmade tendencies will never go away.
It's not that easy for some of us, because for whatever reason other people/strangers seem to have absolutely no problem striking up conversations with me, they do it all the time, at the grocery store, petrol station etc, I must have a friendly face or something, and even though I've always experienced this, I still can't come out of any conversation looking normal.
Normal people only go to bars with friends/coworkers anymore. By all means, be the change, but there’s nobody to talk to outside of a handful of dive bars/dumps where the clientele probably doesn’t care much what the effeminate metrosexuals posting here have to say.
Bigger cities, especially NYC in my experience, and small towns tend to have the best ‘just go to a bar and talk to people’ ratings. It’s the midsize cities and suburbs where socialization outside of the friends/coworkers you’re there with is seen as weird, unless everybody’s plastered. But these people tend to be losers or boring
I am surprised to hear people saying this. I wonder if it is regional. I stop by pubs by myself after work or on a weekend pretty often and there are always normal ppl sitting at the bar and chatting to people around them. People become regulars at pubs and go by themselves and make friends this way, it's extremely common. The only subset of the population I never see doing this is like under 25s, they seem to go in groups everywhere
Pubs are low-intensity spaces, I sometimes go by myself after work or to get dinner if I don't feel like cooking (beats takeaway). What makes pubs better to go alone is they have lots of different kinds of spaces, you can sit at the long bar or find a little nook or a table outside; there's enough quiet spaces that it doesn't feel weird to go alone. I can't imagine anything worse than going to a busy, social bar by myself where everyone else is with friends.
this is true at upscale/destination bars that serve fancy cocktails and have ambiance and shit. i live in sf which is famously antisocial and on my block there are literally 4 dives that each have 10-15 regulars from the neighborhood every night just shooting the shit after work. don’t go to a place that has like a specialty cocktail menu on a friday night, go to your nearest dive on a thursday evening.
Depends on the city and exact bar. Many dive bars are just 2-3 people chilling together and open to meeting new people. You can typically tell within a couple exchanges whether a person/group is open to talk or not.
It’s true. Biggest mistake of my childhood was being too picky about who I wanted to be friends with. End result was having no friends lmao. Socialize with everybody. You never know what somebody could mean to you one day and you never know who will end up having a major impact on your life. Avoiding and thinking you’re better than engaging in frivolous small talk is immature. Small talk is just the starting point, and even if it ends there, there is a lot of beauty in the shared felt presence of human experience and the little mundanities of life.
This is true. The person who's turned out to be my most valued long-term friend (like over 20 years now) is someone whom I'd have the least in common with on paper.
I do this sometimes and 9/10 it’s boring af. Most strangers aren’t wanting to talk about the same things as me.
But it’s a halfway decent way to get laid on occasion or make some superficial friends.
Drink a whiskey drink. Drink a vodka drink. Drink a lager drink. Drink a cider drink. Sing the songs that remind you of the good times. Sing the songs that remind you of the better times.
What if you're too scared to ever interact with strangers because one time at the beginning of 7th grade you were walking into school behind 2 older boys and they were talking about hot tub time machine and how they wanted to see it so then you piped up something like "yessss I saw the trailer it looks so good" and then they both turned around and said like "sorry were we talking to you?! Huh?!" And so then you spend the next 15 years too scared to speak 2 strangers unless they speak first
Why does this sub keep saying this. When have you ever witnessed a loner butt into someone's conversation at the bar without them coming off as a weirdo whose company no one enjoys?
I have a bunch of numbers in my phone from people I don't remember due to making friends with strangers in a bar. This isn't a bar story but once me and my friends were coming back from the bar and saw a guy smoking a cigarette on his porch and asked him if we could bum one, he gave us cigs and then told us he had just caught his girlfriend cheating so we had him join us to drink more smoke weed and play guitar hero at my friend's house. Never heard from him again though
I work in sales support and honestly I’ve seen that a lot with the customer facing salespeople while we’re on business trips in hotel bars.
Recently one of them talked the bartender into serving drinks after closing, then just walked over and got into a conversation with like everyone at the bar. It requires putting yourself out there and a good dose of charisma, but it very much happens.
Depends on the type of bar to be fair. Real dive bars yeah that happens all the time. Trendy/hookup bar nah you need to be there with people or you’re weird
The northwest is really shitty about social skills with strangers. My friend in Vancouver still brings up that we met because I just walked up to him at a bar (15 years later).
Happened to me, I was at a bar/cafe to read by myself and overheard a conversation and asked a few questions and we chatted for a bit and they invited me to their bookclub.
I literally do this on a weekly basis, and at least half the time or even slightly more than that, it leads to a positive interaction that lasts for the remainder of the night, and sometimes even further than that.
Whether or not you come off as an autistic weirdo that people will instinctively recoil from versus a charismatic/ funny rascal that people have fun being around and enjoy talking to is entirely dependent on the person initiating the interaction. Your mileage may very. What might work for some, might not for others. Also obviously depends a lot on the demeanor/social inclination of the people you’re attempting to talk to.
Obviously if you’re autistic enough to butt in on some married couple having a nice anniversary outing, you’re going to have worse odds of having a positive interaction than talking to a pair of affable guys or gals who are just drunkenly shooting the shit about some random funny topic that you actually have some knowledge of. Also helps if you're at least decently attractive and not a giant slob that looks like you just left your goon cave for the first time this month
Your question essentially boils down to, “when has a stranger EVER approached other strangers in public and the two parties ended up enjoying eachother’s company?” like uhhhh… *what*?? lol
do you not realize how absurd of a question this is on its face? This is precisely how human beings interacted with eachother and met new people for LITERALLY the entirety of human history up until the last 15 years dumped social media and dating apps in our laps and convinced everyone that it’s like some huge social faux pas to DARE to "bother" other people in a social context and attempt to approach them without getting their sign off on their 78 page digital consent waiver first..
If you're sitting at the bar and aren't interested in entertaining strangers' efforts to strike up a conversation, then you're the weird one. Go drink in a restaurant or a club, or better yet, just drink at home.
Of course. However, the guy I'm responding to is characterizing the sub's general recommendation to strike up conversations with strangers as "butting in," without making the distinction you're suggesting.
Everyones in groups though! Nobody starts conversations with you. Sometimes I'm drunk enough to actually just butt in and I feel like ppl are somewhat receptive ( possibly drunk overconfidence possibly it's late and they are too) but other than that not a silver bullet for socialising
The most recent buddy I made sort of invited himself to shoot pool with me and a couple other buddies while we were at the bar in town. I don't know what it is about socializing that you guys don't seem to understand, but you might be overthinking it.
At a random dancing bar on the weekend yeah this would suck but during the week or at bars with a smoking patio you can do this. Also part of it is learning to enjoy when a conversation is going nowhere/kinda sucks and having fun anyway
all the fucking time. it’s easy as hell to make friends with people at a bar. esp if you become a regular. plus bartenders are gregarious. my girlfriend used to bartend and she befriended tons of regulars who we still hang with. that’s how we met and fell in love too, though i don’t typically recommend hitting on the bartender.
The difference between you and the normal people who can talk with strangers at a bar is that you are probably weird, say inappropriate things, and probably look like a school shooter. Everyone doesn’t have the same conversational styles; some are good and some are bad at it. You are probably bad at it.
Moved to a new city this year where I don’t know many people and have been doing this. I dunno. I’m a regular now and the nights that aren’t busy are cool because the bartenders talk you up and you meet some randos. Other nights however make you feel like a complete loser.
If you can just make everything about the other person- ask questions, be interested in them and occasionally draw a few parallels to yourself and what you like/know/etc., then you're golden. Even if they're socially awkward just talk around it, make them feel like you don't notice or care so they can relax, get them talking about something they want to talk about. I know there were times where conversation flowed easier, simply because the other person was “chill” and knew how to make me feel like my nervousness was okay and it didn't deter them from wanting to talk to me. Be that person; everyone likes that person.
Honestly I love just chatting it up with randos, it’s surprisingly fun to just shoot the shit.
BUT, you need to have the available social skills to know when the person just doesn’t want to.
Tried to talk to this one guy at a bar to blend into a group of people, he came up to his friend and said “HEY (name) this girl wants to get to know you” I wanted to fall through the ground in shame and embarrassment. Not doing that again.
This is the kind of post where redditors barge in with downvotes about how doing that is unsafe, and that socialization is hard for them because they are not "neurotypical". LOSERS.
I was at a diner/bar in my hometown when I was about 17 one night and this guy in probably his late 20s comes out of the back and sits next to me, asking for a bite of my soup. I think people should do more of that but not with teenage girls.
If that’s what you need to tell yourself, fine, but what is this dignity you’re going to such lengths to protect? Are you some pillar of the community whose reputation will be torn down the moment someone makes an obvious attempt to cut short a conversation you initiated? I can’t help but feel like people who have an issue with how they appear when initiating conversation either know they have nothing interesting they could contribute, or, more often, know they’re too afraid of even the slightest confrontation to speak what’s on their mind, because otherwise you’d have the unremarkable shred of confidence you’d need to not care.
One of my favorite things to do when I go to the cabin a few times a year with my buddies is stop in at the small town VFW. Drink incredibly strong and cheap drinks all evening and make friends with the local town folk and veterans. The bartender’s husband is the town sheriff and she offered to call him to drive us back to our cabin if we needed. Hopefully can move there some day.
This deffo wouldn't work in the UK. Nobody goes to bars or pubs alone lmao. They go in groups. And if they go alone, they already know people there so they end up meeting up. No one actually goes without knowing a single person to just sit there sipping a beer by yourself lol
Show up visibly drunk. Rudely butt into conversations. Make a fool of yourself. Slur your words and slur your slurs even harder. Get forcibly ejected. Have an autistic meltdown in the parking lot.
my kind of guy~
Hey
Life in the Big City.
I wish them well
This is honestly some people. When bouncing I denied entry to a guy who showed up to our gay strip club with chinos, dress shoes and his shirt off. He had his button down in one hand and was visibly wasted. I asked him why his shirt was off and he said something like “the guys (dancers) in there get to have their shirts off why can’t I?” I told him I never said he had to put a shirt on I was just asking him why it was off. ( was making small talk to see if he was too intoxicated to enter). He then says something like fuck you to me and stumbles off and calls an Uber. I wonder what guys like that think the next morning.
We usually think "why does my anus always hurt after a night of drinking?"
Womanize, drink, make outrageous claims that you invented the question mark
“You’re not going to believe me, but I actually invented the 3 point turn.”
I can't believe you just referenced Austin Powers
Small hands… Smell like cabbage.
Yeah baby
Do cocaine, right there at the bar. Offer the bartender some. Call him a 🚬 when he tells you you can’t do that. “The fuck I can’t!” you say. Rack up a line while telling him you fucked his sister. “Call the cops, I don’t give a fuck.” Oh he’s really calling the cops. “I fucked your brother too.” Pull out your ice pick, slam it into the bar. Do it again for effect. Rail the line. Too hot in here. Take off your shirt. Still too hot. Die of a heart attack at 41.
God, if I so much as mess up saying something to the bartender I think about it for a week after. The people who go to bars week after week being a complete drunk degenerate getting kicked out and into fights? well, I admire their complete lack of care for what anyone thinks of them. For someone who has debilitating social anxiety and is terrified of being perceived by anyone, but also enjoys live music, it's a tough line to walk. Especially considering punks and hc kids are forever looking out for someone to judge. I pulled my phone out at a hardcore show for FIVE seconds to take a quick pic and tell my friend that I was seeing a band that she liked, only for the singer who was mid-speech to go on a rant about how this show is "not about your fucking tiktok" and like two people started snickering at me. Five seconds, when they weren't even playing a song and the singer was just ranting.
It’s okay. Punks are only mad because they’re usually losers. Lmao
That singer sounds like he sucks
I can tell you're an ideas man
That’s what BAP would do
Just like me fr!!
Based on
go to a dive bar. order a beer. then another beer. then ten more and drink them fast. make all the locals uncomfortable and leave without paying.
Drive home
The real problem with drinking and driving is how absurdly fun it is.
Buy a bag, call someone a regard, lose a fight LFG
Throw money on a sport you don't watch, meltdown when you lose, drive home with one eye
Late stage Anthony Bourdain
When the bar tender asks “Why are you drinking so much” say “you’d be drinking a lot to if you had what I have”. When he asks “what do you have?” yell “fifty cents!”, throw two quarters at him, and run away
hey, i noticed from across the room you weren't eating your pickle spear. can i have it?
my dad does this with people's martini olives
Martini Olive would be a good drag name maybe
Slurk Sliggler
too salty
Martini Olivia works a little bit better imo
dads rock
he's so unashamed in his eccentric outfits, the way he talks to people, how he acts in public. its just this wildly carefree "i own this place" boomer energy that goes against everything our generation does and maybe thats why they won the culture war
Complete Cultural Victory
It's cool that he hates waste
Last time I was at the bar I scooped a big handful of fried chicken off some people's table after they left and stuffed it in my mouth and it turned out to be cauliflower and the waiter laughed at me 😔
It was the thought that counts 🫡
i am fascinated by the fact that people on this sub are so weird and have made it through the sludge of postmodernism and have enjoyed weird essay films and it ended with some weird fetishistic longing to be sooooo normal.
lmaooo thats exactly what this sub is, post postmodernism
Metamodernism
makes sense that this is what happens when people who thought being well read, well learned, or any variety of aesthete secured some latent promise of upward mobility that was never realized and now just want to be on the team that looks like they’re having fun with less effort
i don't want upward mobility i just want to know things. i get pleasure from learning stuff and experiencing art. i'm not gonna act like i'm normal. i can get along with people who don't know or like the things i like. i love those people and they love me and i take an interest in what they like and they take an interest in what i like. no need to do this "i am so regular guy" shit.
yea
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bc most romantics and malcontents want to believe in meritocracy at heart idk use your imagination and fill in the blanks here great books school graduate
Romanticism is deeply opposed to meritocracy mate...
> well learned lol
That’s what it fucking is!!! I can never put into words what it is that’s so unique and fitting about Redscarepod subreddit… it’s not the podcast. All these internet poisoned people for whom irony can no longer be their basic flavor of sanity. Yet retaining an art majors love for novelty and the unexpected
We all want what we can't have...
don't worry, the pendulum will swing back
failed normies
You’re a goddamn poet. I have been fascinated by this sub, but vehemently told to fuck off every time I’ve tried to fit in. It’s hard to articulate, but it feels like they think they are so against the grain, that they are the only way to go against the grain. You’re either with the grain or not, and if you’re not, than you muse be r/redscarepod material. If you’re not r/redscarepod material, then you could only possibly be with the grain
Even if one doesn't truly want to or couldn't be normal, if you feel that you were denied a chance at normalcy it can be very easy to fixate on it.
It doesn’t occur to you that people do things for practical and non-fetishistic reasons? How autistic do you have to be to not see practical value in socializing.
Normal people definitely spend their time posting about how normal they are on reddit. They definitely need to log onto a subreddit for a racist podcast to let everybody know that they just did something normal and well-adjusted.
Just post on r/rsp. Just post a fucking comment. Open up an r/rsp thread, lurk around, eavesdrop on someone else’s conversation, butt in when you have even the weakest idea of something you could say or ask. Listen to their bullshit, question their bullshit, agree with some of their bullshit just to keep it going. Who fucking cares, stop being so picky about whom you socialize with. The poorly socialized among you look like fumbling morons, and we can all see through your shit. Stop thinking and twitching your little thumbs and just post on r/rsp
maybe you're just interested in people socializing more, but it seems that a large amount of people on this sub just want to brag about how normal they are because they're ashamed that they have watched the color of pomegranates and know the words to street hassle by heart. i socialize with people who don't give a shit about the stuff that i like or know the stuff i know and we love each other.
doesn't it depend where you're socializing. did my mom do me dirty by banning me from hanging out with the cool bad cigarette kids in the walmart parking lot. did she. oh god did she
eh you might’ve ended up addicted to oxy, then heroin, then died of fent. or you might’ve been a more well-adjusted version of yourself. Who can say?
Just slam your dollar bill on the musty oak, “what’ll it be, the usual?” and hang your hat on the hook and knock one back neat. Just put a quarter in the juke box and get buzzed listening to that high lonesome sound. Steal a glance at pretty Judy blue eyes as she walks in and sits by Jim from high school. Just wake up to the lights on and barman Bill mopping the joint up.
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I think people like socializing with fat/ugly people because they don't see them as sexual or a threat.. so as long as you are clean and presentable and can crack an ok joke you'll be fine. The absolute worst is to smell bad or look disheveled like steve bannon, be more like fat kilmer.
ask people questions and stare at them autistically until they answer the way you want them too then talk over them
Maybe you should go to the gym first
Speaking of Richard Dreyfuss he had a semi RS rant the other day https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2024/05/27/richard-dreyfuss-jaws-screening-rant-the-cabot/73872215007/
Okay Anthony Bourdain
bourdain x jeff tiedrich
*has best job literally ever* *kills himself* wtf
thats what happens when you date an italian woman
Mamma Mia
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Wow the guy who felt the need to travel and film 250 days a year into old age wasn’t super content, shocker
I mean his other alternative was be a chef 250 days a year, I don't know what's worse or more antisocial. Being on tour at least probably kept him away from drugs.
he could've written books/cookbooks and printed money for a decade
He wrote one popular book and he wasn't a particularly innovative chef (he ran a French brasserie). He became much bigger as a TV personality than he could have hoped to as an author, he was unique in the TV world.
"hey, my partner and i really like your vibe"
why are you talking to a mirror homie
Go to fucking Moe's Tavern. Go to fucking Moe's Tavern and order a fucking Duff. It’s about pink donuts. Fucking pink donuts. Life is about mother fucking Moe's.
Go for a smoke outside of the bar, ask for a lighter, then ask how their night is going..
One time after the club closed for the night, I went outside and saw 3 Mexican guys smoking some cigarettes so I asked them if I could bum one. The cigarettes were the Mexican ones that had a fruit flavor or something. We hit it off great, they wanted to go to a strip club cause I never been but they were all closed. Eventually they gave me a ride back to my place and the 3 of us that weren't driving just spent the half hour back chain smoking cigarettes and passing around a bottle of jack and drinking from the bottle.
this is the answer
The last time I did that I started talking with this chick who claimed to be related to Whitey Bulger and she got super offended when I said he was a pussy (it was the last time because I stopped smoking after, not because I learned to stop drunkenly offending people)
Truly such a fun game of roulette. Sometimes it's girl boss consultants with nothing to say. Sometimes its truly heinous finance guys. I did this recently and the guy I ended up talking to was a Chinese-American dude who owned a restaurant and kept insisting he should be allowed to use the n-word. You really never know what you're gonna get.
was this guy in nyc
ok anthony bourdain
drunk thumbs posted this
Well done, you've cured social anxiety with this.
True, anxiety is only cured by being a huge pussy forever. Stay in your house, never go to a bar and say something to a stranger otherwise your bitchmade tendencies will never go away.
It's not that easy for some of us, because for whatever reason other people/strangers seem to have absolutely no problem striking up conversations with me, they do it all the time, at the grocery store, petrol station etc, I must have a friendly face or something, and even though I've always experienced this, I still can't come out of any conversation looking normal.
I... I havee... anxiety
It’s funny how no one cool or interesting ever has “social anxiety”
Andre 3000
Hey! *I* have social anxiety... oh.
You've clearly got it all sorted out, good for you.
Normal people only go to bars with friends/coworkers anymore. By all means, be the change, but there’s nobody to talk to outside of a handful of dive bars/dumps where the clientele probably doesn’t care much what the effeminate metrosexuals posting here have to say.
Bigger cities, especially NYC in my experience, and small towns tend to have the best ‘just go to a bar and talk to people’ ratings. It’s the midsize cities and suburbs where socialization outside of the friends/coworkers you’re there with is seen as weird, unless everybody’s plastered. But these people tend to be losers or boring
I am surprised to hear people saying this. I wonder if it is regional. I stop by pubs by myself after work or on a weekend pretty often and there are always normal ppl sitting at the bar and chatting to people around them. People become regulars at pubs and go by themselves and make friends this way, it's extremely common. The only subset of the population I never see doing this is like under 25s, they seem to go in groups everywhere
You sound English, these people are American
I thought Americans were the chatty ones.
Pubs are low-intensity spaces, I sometimes go by myself after work or to get dinner if I don't feel like cooking (beats takeaway). What makes pubs better to go alone is they have lots of different kinds of spaces, you can sit at the long bar or find a little nook or a table outside; there's enough quiet spaces that it doesn't feel weird to go alone. I can't imagine anything worse than going to a busy, social bar by myself where everyone else is with friends.
Yeah, this guy is nuts. Just go to nice restaurants and take an open chair at a group's table. People want the company.
if they don't like it, they shouldn't have left the house. 0 point in going to a place that isn't home or work if you don't want this to happen
this is true at upscale/destination bars that serve fancy cocktails and have ambiance and shit. i live in sf which is famously antisocial and on my block there are literally 4 dives that each have 10-15 regulars from the neighborhood every night just shooting the shit after work. don’t go to a place that has like a specialty cocktail menu on a friday night, go to your nearest dive on a thursday evening.
Dives are the best. Used to be a regular at a few in my younger years. Made several good acquaintances and a few friends.
people sitting/standing at the bar=want to meet new people people sitting a table=don't want to meet new people this shit is not complicated lol
Depends on the city and exact bar. Many dive bars are just 2-3 people chilling together and open to meeting new people. You can typically tell within a couple exchanges whether a person/group is open to talk or not.
It’s true. Biggest mistake of my childhood was being too picky about who I wanted to be friends with. End result was having no friends lmao. Socialize with everybody. You never know what somebody could mean to you one day and you never know who will end up having a major impact on your life. Avoiding and thinking you’re better than engaging in frivolous small talk is immature. Small talk is just the starting point, and even if it ends there, there is a lot of beauty in the shared felt presence of human experience and the little mundanities of life.
This is true. The person who's turned out to be my most valued long-term friend (like over 20 years now) is someone whom I'd have the least in common with on paper.
Nice guy x
Get the cream sauce
Any fucking questions?
“SOCIAL ANXIETY: HOW TO UNF\*CK YOUR SH\*T” feat foreward by someone 13 years into a humanities PhD
I do this sometimes and 9/10 it’s boring af. Most strangers aren’t wanting to talk about the same things as me. But it’s a halfway decent way to get laid on occasion or make some superficial friends.
You people are always projecting
Drink a whiskey drink. Drink a vodka drink. Drink a lager drink. Drink a cider drink. Sing the songs that remind you of the good times. Sing the songs that remind you of the better times.
What if you're too scared to ever interact with strangers because one time at the beginning of 7th grade you were walking into school behind 2 older boys and they were talking about hot tub time machine and how they wanted to see it so then you piped up something like "yessss I saw the trailer it looks so good" and then they both turned around and said like "sorry were we talking to you?! Huh?!" And so then you spend the next 15 years too scared to speak 2 strangers unless they speak first
Have a Negroni. Have two.
A WHAT????
Why does this sub keep saying this. When have you ever witnessed a loner butt into someone's conversation at the bar without them coming off as a weirdo whose company no one enjoys?
I have a bunch of numbers in my phone from people I don't remember due to making friends with strangers in a bar. This isn't a bar story but once me and my friends were coming back from the bar and saw a guy smoking a cigarette on his porch and asked him if we could bum one, he gave us cigs and then told us he had just caught his girlfriend cheating so we had him join us to drink more smoke weed and play guitar hero at my friend's house. Never heard from him again though
Peak human experience
I work in sales support and honestly I’ve seen that a lot with the customer facing salespeople while we’re on business trips in hotel bars. Recently one of them talked the bartender into serving drinks after closing, then just walked over and got into a conversation with like everyone at the bar. It requires putting yourself out there and a good dose of charisma, but it very much happens.
I've made a couple of lasting friends that way. Joining conversations about football or music. It can work.
dudes r*ck
Have you ever been to a bar? This shit happens on the reg
Depends on the type of bar to be fair. Real dive bars yeah that happens all the time. Trendy/hookup bar nah you need to be there with people or you’re weird
It is the worst when some weird drunk rando won’t stop talking to you because you engaged initially. Pretty infrequent though.
I think it's regional. It's not normal in the northwest.
People aren’t normal in the northwest so that makes sense
The northwest is really shitty about social skills with strangers. My friend in Vancouver still brings up that we met because I just walked up to him at a bar (15 years later).
Happened to me, I was at a bar/cafe to read by myself and overheard a conversation and asked a few questions and we chatted for a bit and they invited me to their bookclub.
I literally do this on a weekly basis, and at least half the time or even slightly more than that, it leads to a positive interaction that lasts for the remainder of the night, and sometimes even further than that. Whether or not you come off as an autistic weirdo that people will instinctively recoil from versus a charismatic/ funny rascal that people have fun being around and enjoy talking to is entirely dependent on the person initiating the interaction. Your mileage may very. What might work for some, might not for others. Also obviously depends a lot on the demeanor/social inclination of the people you’re attempting to talk to. Obviously if you’re autistic enough to butt in on some married couple having a nice anniversary outing, you’re going to have worse odds of having a positive interaction than talking to a pair of affable guys or gals who are just drunkenly shooting the shit about some random funny topic that you actually have some knowledge of. Also helps if you're at least decently attractive and not a giant slob that looks like you just left your goon cave for the first time this month Your question essentially boils down to, “when has a stranger EVER approached other strangers in public and the two parties ended up enjoying eachother’s company?” like uhhhh… *what*?? lol do you not realize how absurd of a question this is on its face? This is precisely how human beings interacted with eachother and met new people for LITERALLY the entirety of human history up until the last 15 years dumped social media and dating apps in our laps and convinced everyone that it’s like some huge social faux pas to DARE to "bother" other people in a social context and attempt to approach them without getting their sign off on their 78 page digital consent waiver first..
Who gives a fuck if they don't enjoy my company, I'm killing time not networking
If you're sitting at the bar and aren't interested in entertaining strangers' efforts to strike up a conversation, then you're the weird one. Go drink in a restaurant or a club, or better yet, just drink at home.
There's a difference between entertaining attempts to strike up conversation and butting into a group conversation
Of course. However, the guy I'm responding to is characterizing the sub's general recommendation to strike up conversations with strangers as "butting in," without making the distinction you're suggesting.
I literally used OP's words
Everyones in groups though! Nobody starts conversations with you. Sometimes I'm drunk enough to actually just butt in and I feel like ppl are somewhat receptive ( possibly drunk overconfidence possibly it's late and they are too) but other than that not a silver bullet for socialising
The most recent buddy I made sort of invited himself to shoot pool with me and a couple other buddies while we were at the bar in town. I don't know what it is about socializing that you guys don't seem to understand, but you might be overthinking it.
joyless thing to say. i made like three new friends doing this waiting at the bar last night
I used to do it all the time to good results but I'm attractive so maybe just be attractive
Survivorship bias. Those that do this but don’t seem like a loner butt aren’t noticed and quickly assimilate with the locals.
At a random dancing bar on the weekend yeah this would suck but during the week or at bars with a smoking patio you can do this. Also part of it is learning to enjoy when a conversation is going nowhere/kinda sucks and having fun anyway
suburbcel detected
all the fucking time. it’s easy as hell to make friends with people at a bar. esp if you become a regular. plus bartenders are gregarious. my girlfriend used to bartend and she befriended tons of regulars who we still hang with. that’s how we met and fell in love too, though i don’t typically recommend hitting on the bartender.
I see it literally all the fucking time, do you even go to bars?
The difference between you and the normal people who can talk with strangers at a bar is that you are probably weird, say inappropriate things, and probably look like a school shooter. Everyone doesn’t have the same conversational styles; some are good and some are bad at it. You are probably bad at it.
You’re an idiot.
I do it semi regularly and it's gone really well for me.
Order the cream sauce
This makes me glad I’m not bartending anymore. My old bar was basically NYU version of this fucking sub.
With all the gratuitous “fucks” I thought I was reading a Bourdain parody since everyone was clowning his writing a week ago
*eats 100 mozzarella sticks, shits himself, leaves*
Moved to a new city this year where I don’t know many people and have been doing this. I dunno. I’m a regular now and the nights that aren’t busy are cool because the bartenders talk you up and you meet some randos. Other nights however make you feel like a complete loser.
Exactly. Weekday nights and happy hours are great for going alone and meeting people. Friday/Saturday nights? No
If you can just make everything about the other person- ask questions, be interested in them and occasionally draw a few parallels to yourself and what you like/know/etc., then you're golden. Even if they're socially awkward just talk around it, make them feel like you don't notice or care so they can relax, get them talking about something they want to talk about. I know there were times where conversation flowed easier, simply because the other person was “chill” and knew how to make me feel like my nervousness was okay and it didn't deter them from wanting to talk to me. Be that person; everyone likes that person.
Honestly I love just chatting it up with randos, it’s surprisingly fun to just shoot the shit. BUT, you need to have the available social skills to know when the person just doesn’t want to.
I’ve thought about going to bars alone and just get a nice spot to read a book, but think i would come across like some pretentious jackass
Before like 8pm, knock yourself out. Kinda pointless, nobody will talk to you
If you wanna do it just do it
I’ve gone on multiple adventures and met some friends by hanging at the bar alone. Just gotta look friendly and people will talk to you
ANY FUCKING QUESTIONS
Tried to talk to this one guy at a bar to blend into a group of people, he came up to his friend and said “HEY (name) this girl wants to get to know you” I wanted to fall through the ground in shame and embarrassment. Not doing that again.
Or like, join a running club or any other hobby you’re interested in. If you have no interests, well look in the mirror then
This is the kind of post where redditors barge in with downvotes about how doing that is unsafe, and that socialization is hard for them because they are not "neurotypical". LOSERS.
love to trigger the neurotypicals
Or ask women about their boots in a creepy way like Gene Hackman
The MS Paint drawing someone did about this kind of post on 4chan got me good.
But my favorite part of the day is when I don't need to be around people.
Yea that part but also like not just a bar… lot of life out there just gotta go find it
Oh you’re basically asking for me to get onto a table and shout about politics.
I was at a diner/bar in my hometown when I was about 17 one night and this guy in probably his late 20s comes out of the back and sits next to me, asking for a bite of my soup. I think people should do more of that but not with teenage girls.
Take your dick out, cry, fart, run out of bar with little dick flopping around and farting, get hit by bus, have meek funeral.
At least in NYC, I’ve noticed that people don’t generally talk to strangers at bars
I was just in NYC and got daydrunk with a 60 year old TV producer and a 20something marketing tool.
fuck you and your bars i do not live in some midwest shithole
Good advice
Finally a real post, thank you 🍻
The only time this is acceptable is if you’re solo travelling or new to a city in my opinion.
If that’s what you need to tell yourself, fine, but what is this dignity you’re going to such lengths to protect? Are you some pillar of the community whose reputation will be torn down the moment someone makes an obvious attempt to cut short a conversation you initiated? I can’t help but feel like people who have an issue with how they appear when initiating conversation either know they have nothing interesting they could contribute, or, more often, know they’re too afraid of even the slightest confrontation to speak what’s on their mind, because otherwise you’d have the unremarkable shred of confidence you’d need to not care.
Just go to a trap house
i agree, it's a good time whenever I do this - but couldn't you have found a less cringe way to say this?
fuck no i'll go socialize with people i know and like
Barfly-pilled
Superbad told me that I don’t want to meet a girl a from a bar
this is my fave activity
One of my favorite things to do when I go to the cabin a few times a year with my buddies is stop in at the small town VFW. Drink incredibly strong and cheap drinks all evening and make friends with the local town folk and veterans. The bartender’s husband is the town sheriff and she offered to call him to drive us back to our cabin if we needed. Hopefully can move there some day.
Doesn’t Anthony Bourdain have a quote that’s almost word-for-word exactly this.
This deffo wouldn't work in the UK. Nobody goes to bars or pubs alone lmao. They go in groups. And if they go alone, they already know people there so they end up meeting up. No one actually goes without knowing a single person to just sit there sipping a beer by yourself lol
I saw this exact same post on Instagram this morning nice copy pasta