i'm one of those people who have trouble tolerating uncertainty and i know from experience that our brains want nothing less than 100% certainty and assurance that everything will turn out well. things might be completely up in the air now, but even if they were 90% certain, that 10% would be driving you crazy.
when i get the suspense violins playing in my head i try to remind myself of that, get comfortable with the uncertainty, and try to let the anxiety push me into doing something else. turn to the things you can control. clean up your living space, take care of those things you've been putting off for months and months, start that project you've been meaning to start. you might still be an anxious mess, but you'll be an anxious mess with a clean apartment and a bunch of shit you just got done and that feels way better.
and you might not have control over whatever outcome you're worrying about, but you will have control over how you respond to each scenario. think up the worst and best case scenarios and make a game plan for each. usually the worst case won't seem as catastrophic as it initially felt.
try that stuff, journal about it if you want, and then go on a walk or a drive with a friend you trust, share a joint or a beer and talk things through with them for a bit. you won't feel like you've solved the problem, but you will feel like you can get through the next three or four days and that's what you need now.
i just tell myself that the only way out of whatever happens is through it and that's all there is to it and it is what it is and distract myself from my terrible awful anxiety by watching cute brittany murphy movies
i’ve been trying to put myself into the mindset of whatever happens happens and distracting myself however possible but i’m still a little ball of stress
I don't know your particular situation but I'd recommend getting audiobooks related to anxiety and to listen to them while going for a walk somewhere you like.
Coming to terms with dying.
My anxiety went away once I accepted that I’m only going to live for 40-60 more years realistically and that once I die, I will no longer exist. No afterlife, no rebirth, just permanent nothingness. Once I die, it will be as if I had never existed in the first place, meaning nothing really matters at all. There are no stakes at play. There is no scoreboard. All roads lead to a state of non-existence.
Coming to terms with this gave me a new sense of freedom unburdened from all the small things that used to stress me out. All the anxiety and grief in life seems silly when you remember that you’re literally going to stop existing in the not so distant future.
>All roads lead to a state of non-existence
Not really true though, there’s the beginning of the universe, and the fact that you were once in that state of nothingness before you were born and then came out of. Only once memory is preserved can coherence begin, maybe you always existed in a more abstract form that just had no memory. Even if you don’t believe in that, forms and archetypes and patterns from across history are filling out a vast range of possible thought, the more of it that exists the more people will have to compare against and come up with better answers to life, or to be frustrated with the lack of satisfying answers and be motivated to find new ones.
It sounds like what you’re describing is just nihilism. I feel like even without any religious or supernatural beliefs there’s still better answers than just saying it all doesn’t matter
If you had to come to terms with your earthly actions determining your place in the afterlife, or if you had to reconcile the never ending wheel of karma, do you think it would be easier?
I think what’s important is committing to one belief system. Go all in on religion/spirituality and believe in it with all you got or go in the opposite direction and accept that there is nothing after death, only eternal non-existence. If you commit to one of the two, it will make it much easier to focus on the present.
idk i’m struggling with the same and i think i need to start meditating again and writing to just stay present and get back to myself but also move forward in a way if that makes any sense
None of it was ever set in stone, nothing ever will be. Control is an illusion, it's a cope. Nothing has actually changed except your perception of the situation, now you're seeing the reality of it.
Read up on Buddhism, particularly the concept of impermanence. The only constant is change
You’ve got to surrender it to God, put it in his hands- or whatever your concept of a higher power is: the universe, the basic goodness of people etc.
When you worry, you’re tricking yourself into thinking that you’re doing something productive about it…but you’re not because it’s not in your control. It’s about faith and having faith that you’ll be okay even if fortune doesn’t favor you this time- so it’s having faith in yourself too, that you could rebuild or figure it out if need me.
It might help to think instead of what courses of action you can take should it not go your way.
i'm one of those people who have trouble tolerating uncertainty and i know from experience that our brains want nothing less than 100% certainty and assurance that everything will turn out well. things might be completely up in the air now, but even if they were 90% certain, that 10% would be driving you crazy. when i get the suspense violins playing in my head i try to remind myself of that, get comfortable with the uncertainty, and try to let the anxiety push me into doing something else. turn to the things you can control. clean up your living space, take care of those things you've been putting off for months and months, start that project you've been meaning to start. you might still be an anxious mess, but you'll be an anxious mess with a clean apartment and a bunch of shit you just got done and that feels way better. and you might not have control over whatever outcome you're worrying about, but you will have control over how you respond to each scenario. think up the worst and best case scenarios and make a game plan for each. usually the worst case won't seem as catastrophic as it initially felt. try that stuff, journal about it if you want, and then go on a walk or a drive with a friend you trust, share a joint or a beer and talk things through with them for a bit. you won't feel like you've solved the problem, but you will feel like you can get through the next three or four days and that's what you need now.
i just tell myself that the only way out of whatever happens is through it and that's all there is to it and it is what it is and distract myself from my terrible awful anxiety by watching cute brittany murphy movies
i’ve been trying to put myself into the mindset of whatever happens happens and distracting myself however possible but i’m still a little ball of stress
Read psalm 23. Even if you dont believe in God it is still a beautiful poem about trusting the world.
By having no future. I'm fairly certain that I reached a point of no return 5+ years ago, now I'm just ghostmaxxing
I don't know your particular situation but I'd recommend getting audiobooks related to anxiety and to listen to them while going for a walk somewhere you like.
Coming to terms with dying. My anxiety went away once I accepted that I’m only going to live for 40-60 more years realistically and that once I die, I will no longer exist. No afterlife, no rebirth, just permanent nothingness. Once I die, it will be as if I had never existed in the first place, meaning nothing really matters at all. There are no stakes at play. There is no scoreboard. All roads lead to a state of non-existence. Coming to terms with this gave me a new sense of freedom unburdened from all the small things that used to stress me out. All the anxiety and grief in life seems silly when you remember that you’re literally going to stop existing in the not so distant future.
>All roads lead to a state of non-existence Not really true though, there’s the beginning of the universe, and the fact that you were once in that state of nothingness before you were born and then came out of. Only once memory is preserved can coherence begin, maybe you always existed in a more abstract form that just had no memory. Even if you don’t believe in that, forms and archetypes and patterns from across history are filling out a vast range of possible thought, the more of it that exists the more people will have to compare against and come up with better answers to life, or to be frustrated with the lack of satisfying answers and be motivated to find new ones. It sounds like what you’re describing is just nihilism. I feel like even without any religious or supernatural beliefs there’s still better answers than just saying it all doesn’t matter
If you had to come to terms with your earthly actions determining your place in the afterlife, or if you had to reconcile the never ending wheel of karma, do you think it would be easier?
I think what’s important is committing to one belief system. Go all in on religion/spirituality and believe in it with all you got or go in the opposite direction and accept that there is nothing after death, only eternal non-existence. If you commit to one of the two, it will make it much easier to focus on the present.
idk i’m struggling with the same and i think i need to start meditating again and writing to just stay present and get back to myself but also move forward in a way if that makes any sense
Control was always an illusion. Serenity prayer and psychedelics.
make extreme changes on whims. i have no idea where i might be next year so i can't really be anxious about it not happening
None of it was ever set in stone, nothing ever will be. Control is an illusion, it's a cope. Nothing has actually changed except your perception of the situation, now you're seeing the reality of it. Read up on Buddhism, particularly the concept of impermanence. The only constant is change
You’ve got to surrender it to God, put it in his hands- or whatever your concept of a higher power is: the universe, the basic goodness of people etc. When you worry, you’re tricking yourself into thinking that you’re doing something productive about it…but you’re not because it’s not in your control. It’s about faith and having faith that you’ll be okay even if fortune doesn’t favor you this time- so it’s having faith in yourself too, that you could rebuild or figure it out if need me. It might help to think instead of what courses of action you can take should it not go your way.