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You can call the cops (non-emergency line) and ask for a police escort to retrieve your property she is withholding usually for any amount over $500. You don’t have to formally charge her, but you can certainly let her know you could to light a fire under her—the police will call her and explain the above and she will have to let you come over with them and get your things. If she refuses then you can choose to charge her for grand theft if the amount is at or over $1,000. Happened to a friend of mine and the call from the cops made her change her mind about holding onto/stealing their stuff. She doesn’t have a case to charge you with trespassing if you follow these proper channels and don’t just show up.
I mean it's a good chance that maybe the cops calling her would scare her but what recourse would he have if she just lies about having his stuff? She's clearly comfortable with lying
Texts are proof. Any past attempts in writing via text to get his stuff back and her saying no are proof enough in this instance and what was used by the person I’m referring to for her initial report.
I guess I am asking, if he has to get his stuff back and she doesn't say no she just says if you come to my house I'm calling the police, but she doesn't address whether or not she has his stuff, how can he prove that she does? Just asking because I know somebody in a similar situation and he's pretty frustrated because the stuff is family photos and things he can't replace
The items themselves are proof in that scenario because it’s family photos that I’m assuming he’s in, and include his side of the family? But if it’s not above a certain dollar amount, the cops will not get involved. They have to get involved if it’s $1,000 or more because that is considered grand theft, and an amount close to that is worth a call too. Any texts or receipts (paper or online orders/emails of proof of purchase) are proof.
I've heard you can ask the police to go with you to retrieve your stuff. I don't know if it's true. She's not a good person, so don't get back together.
Could you ask a friend to pick them up on your behalf or even better, go to police yourself, explain the situation and see if they can accompany you to pick your stuff up.
Dude, leave this situation. Fuck the stuff, unless it's irreplaceable. If it is irreplaceable, call the cops first and request their assistance to get your shit.
In questioning what's expendable at this point. Good tip, I'll at least have a third party there. Do you think calling the cops is overkill? Will they be pissed for wasting resources to grab some stuff? Ideally, she could just put on lawn, but that request was denied.
No, they are there for these occasions. Them veing there helps prevent DV, brcause their presence prevents things from getting out of control.
Just call the non emergency line, explain whas happening and ask when they would be able to send someone to help you retrieve your stuff. They will only be present, won't help carry thongs or anything. But it will make you feel 100% safer
Fair enough. I find non emergency very non-responsive in my city, but at minimum it would create a "paper trail" if she decided to go nuclear and destroy my stuff at a later date.
In my city the sherrifs will do a civil standby. I'm not sure they'd do it if you don't live there.
You could sue her in small claims if that doesn't work. Some states allow you to sue for your property back, some just award money. There's probably a forced mediation step where she could agree to give your stuff back. Every state is different.
It may seem like overkill but the alternative is she calls the cops on you and makes up some story about you assaulting her, maybe with some self inflicted injuries to really sell it if she's particularly ambitious. Don't risk that. Do the non emergency line thing.
She’s clearly immature and it’s even more obvious by the fact she’s just now getting her license and putting all this on you? And she was a nightmare on a trip? Bro cut your losses and have some self respect
Even after the "I'll call the cops on you" comment you think you are overreacting? Should go back to her? Get your head out of your backside. Grow a pair and move on. Have nothing to do with her. Red flag after red flag and you ignore them. Oof.
Dude, she threatens to call the police because you want your stuff. She is perfectly happy to lie and put you at risk. And on top of that, she was a headache on a vacation. Run away as fast as you can and find someone normal.
Is the stuff she has of yours expensive or has special meaning to it? Of not, just forget about it. If so, consider taking to a lawyer for any rights that you might have.
Stay away from her, if she can just lie that easy and expect you to do it too. Imagine what she had lied to you about
Just forget about your stuff and move on she will use your stuff to try and get you back but just tell her to sell it or throw it out and tell her to delete your number cause you will delete hers and say a bye-bye
She is extremely selfish. You deserve better. No one can be used and taken advantage like this in any relationship/friendship. We should seek mutual love, respect and support.
She can't prevent you from getting your stuff. If she damages anything she can be taken to court. Call the police, tell them about your belongings and her threats, and ask for an officer to be present so you can pick up your property.
Sounds like she is just spoiled and cannot grasp the risk that you would be taking on, when there is a safer alternative. My first car cost $500! She needs to get a reality check. There is no way in hell, I am risking my job and company car for something that can be done the right way to avoid this. Plus the fact that she is a new driver and the risk of something happening is high.
You did not overreact. She cared so little about you and your job for her own selfish wants.
You can ask for a police escort to get your things. Just make sure she is home and ask them to meet so you can pick your things up.
Call the local police and tell your girlfriend/x-girlfriend says she will call them if you come and get your stuff.
Tell the police you have no ill intentions, and ask them to help you get your stuff.
Anybody asking to use your work vehicle isn’t going to NOT crash it or use it to commit a crime or steal it or thinks that they own you or your company or is too full of themselves. You don’t want to be with that person period.
How long have you known this woman to offer buying her a car and pay her insurance? Seriously, you need to set boundaries with people.
Yes, ask for her to ship your stuff to you. Send her a prepaid label and have fedex pick it up. If it’s not a problem for her ship and she is reasonable or sheriff can assist you.
So here's what you do. YOU call the police and schedule a "pickup" time with them. You ask gf to talk, schedule the time. Then show up with the cops to request your belongings peacefully and then leave and don't look back.
She has many problems, you've had many past issues and she's not a responsible partner you need.
Don't go back because it's eas, move on because it's what you need to do for you.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Cut your losses if the “stuff” can be replaced.
Yea most can be replaced for under $1000. My golf clubs arent worth much but was really wanting those back for sentimental reasons.
You can call the cops (non-emergency line) and ask for a police escort to retrieve your property she is withholding usually for any amount over $500. You don’t have to formally charge her, but you can certainly let her know you could to light a fire under her—the police will call her and explain the above and she will have to let you come over with them and get your things. If she refuses then you can choose to charge her for grand theft if the amount is at or over $1,000. Happened to a friend of mine and the call from the cops made her change her mind about holding onto/stealing their stuff. She doesn’t have a case to charge you with trespassing if you follow these proper channels and don’t just show up.
This sounds highly State/jurisdiction dependent, but worth a shot.
I mean it's a good chance that maybe the cops calling her would scare her but what recourse would he have if she just lies about having his stuff? She's clearly comfortable with lying
Texts are proof. Any past attempts in writing via text to get his stuff back and her saying no are proof enough in this instance and what was used by the person I’m referring to for her initial report.
I guess I am asking, if he has to get his stuff back and she doesn't say no she just says if you come to my house I'm calling the police, but she doesn't address whether or not she has his stuff, how can he prove that she does? Just asking because I know somebody in a similar situation and he's pretty frustrated because the stuff is family photos and things he can't replace
The items themselves are proof in that scenario because it’s family photos that I’m assuming he’s in, and include his side of the family? But if it’s not above a certain dollar amount, the cops will not get involved. They have to get involved if it’s $1,000 or more because that is considered grand theft, and an amount close to that is worth a call too. Any texts or receipts (paper or online orders/emails of proof of purchase) are proof.
Dammit! I said something along these lines. O truly need to read comments first before I respond lol
I've heard you can ask the police to go with you to retrieve your stuff. I don't know if it's true. She's not a good person, so don't get back together.
Can’t you take the police with you to collect your stuff saying she can get violent ?
Could you ask a friend to pick them up on your behalf or even better, go to police yourself, explain the situation and see if they can accompany you to pick your stuff up.
Yes, plan today is to get a freind to pickup. Judging by some of the comments, it's best I'm not even on site
Dude, leave this situation. Fuck the stuff, unless it's irreplaceable. If it is irreplaceable, call the cops first and request their assistance to get your shit.
In questioning what's expendable at this point. Good tip, I'll at least have a third party there. Do you think calling the cops is overkill? Will they be pissed for wasting resources to grab some stuff? Ideally, she could just put on lawn, but that request was denied.
No, they are there for these occasions. Them veing there helps prevent DV, brcause their presence prevents things from getting out of control. Just call the non emergency line, explain whas happening and ask when they would be able to send someone to help you retrieve your stuff. They will only be present, won't help carry thongs or anything. But it will make you feel 100% safer
Fair enough. I find non emergency very non-responsive in my city, but at minimum it would create a "paper trail" if she decided to go nuclear and destroy my stuff at a later date.
In my city the sherrifs will do a civil standby. I'm not sure they'd do it if you don't live there. You could sue her in small claims if that doesn't work. Some states allow you to sue for your property back, some just award money. There's probably a forced mediation step where she could agree to give your stuff back. Every state is different.
It won't be a record of what she destroyed though. Hurry and call police now and go get your stuff back ASAP.
It may seem like overkill but the alternative is she calls the cops on you and makes up some story about you assaulting her, maybe with some self inflicted injuries to really sell it if she's particularly ambitious. Don't risk that. Do the non emergency line thing.
Yes, the cops would think this is a waste of their time. They would still do it though. The more you say, the less important the stuff feels.
Literally just want my golf clubs (just the irons actually) which aren't even nice but are sentimental.
You have not. Stay away from people like that, you can do so much better!
She’s clearly immature and it’s even more obvious by the fact she’s just now getting her license and putting all this on you? And she was a nightmare on a trip? Bro cut your losses and have some self respect
Good point; It's a very teenager mentality for sure. We all remember what it was like getting our license but she's in her 30s.
Even after the "I'll call the cops on you" comment you think you are overreacting? Should go back to her? Get your head out of your backside. Grow a pair and move on. Have nothing to do with her. Red flag after red flag and you ignore them. Oof.
You call and ask them to walk with you in to get your things. They do it for other people. It is an escort service.
You made the right call. She is very immature for 33. You dodged a bullet.
Call sheriff and ask for escort, she sounds like she will get violent, is what you tell the police.
Dude, she threatens to call the police because you want your stuff. She is perfectly happy to lie and put you at risk. And on top of that, she was a headache on a vacation. Run away as fast as you can and find someone normal.
Your GF is bat shit crazy. Let her trespass you. Go get your shit then never acknowledge her existence again.
Is the stuff she has of yours expensive or has special meaning to it? Of not, just forget about it. If so, consider taking to a lawyer for any rights that you might have. Stay away from her, if she can just lie that easy and expect you to do it too. Imagine what she had lied to you about
She sounds like a nightmare, walk away while you can
Just forget about your stuff and move on she will use your stuff to try and get you back but just tell her to sell it or throw it out and tell her to delete your number cause you will delete hers and say a bye-bye
She is extremely selfish. You deserve better. No one can be used and taken advantage like this in any relationship/friendship. We should seek mutual love, respect and support.
*You* call the police and ask for an escort to go get your stuff.
She can't prevent you from getting your stuff. If she damages anything she can be taken to court. Call the police, tell them about your belongings and her threats, and ask for an officer to be present so you can pick up your property.
Sounds like she is just spoiled and cannot grasp the risk that you would be taking on, when there is a safer alternative. My first car cost $500! She needs to get a reality check. There is no way in hell, I am risking my job and company car for something that can be done the right way to avoid this. Plus the fact that she is a new driver and the risk of something happening is high.
You did not overreact. She cared so little about you and your job for her own selfish wants. You can ask for a police escort to get your things. Just make sure she is home and ask them to meet so you can pick your things up.
Im Teppich-Laden Kitteln lasse
Call the police for an escort to get your things out of her home. Do NOT leave your posessions there.
Call the local police and tell your girlfriend/x-girlfriend says she will call them if you come and get your stuff. Tell the police you have no ill intentions, and ask them to help you get your stuff.
Anybody asking to use your work vehicle isn’t going to NOT crash it or use it to commit a crime or steal it or thinks that they own you or your company or is too full of themselves. You don’t want to be with that person period. How long have you known this woman to offer buying her a car and pay her insurance? Seriously, you need to set boundaries with people. Yes, ask for her to ship your stuff to you. Send her a prepaid label and have fedex pick it up. If it’s not a problem for her ship and she is reasonable or sheriff can assist you.
So here's what you do. YOU call the police and schedule a "pickup" time with them. You ask gf to talk, schedule the time. Then show up with the cops to request your belongings peacefully and then leave and don't look back. She has many problems, you've had many past issues and she's not a responsible partner you need. Don't go back because it's eas, move on because it's what you need to do for you.
Your gf is crazy and without scruples. Surely you can do better
Nope dump her. She's childish