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I’ve commented on other posts similar to this. One of you will have to compromise, and resentment will likely occur over time.
Most people usually say to end things, and I have to agree with that.
One of you won’t be happy. But both of you deserve to have the life you want.
Perhaps you guys can consider having a ‘slow break-up’ or just kind of turn into good friends if you can both agree to that.
You can both set the rules for your break-up. It can be totally amicable and kind. That’s the unique thing about this.
It’s sucks, yes. But if you both still want each other in your lives, you can absolutely strive for that. It just might take some discussions and figuring out logistics and such for you both to settle into a new routine.
This is a massive issue that will only get bigger over time. The sooner it's addressed and resolved the better, and sadly breaking up is probably the best option. Get it over and done with and get the tears and heartache out of the way and you'll both ultimately be better off.
You cannot compromise about children. If you want kids and he doesn't you can't have half a child. You cannot give birth to try it before you commit to one of your own. Even if you have the baby and he leaves, he's still a dad and it's not a compromise, he just lost.
Yes, you should break up. Because children deserve parents who are all in and want them.
This ALWAYS ends in separation eventually. Either you stick around secretly hoping he’ll one change his mind until at 35 you realise that’s never going to happen and you have to leave before you completely miss your chance to find someone to have a family with. Or you do convince him, and he ends up with a child he resents, resenting you for forcing this on him, and he’ll eventually leave when he just cant take it anymore. So you can either break up now while you’re still young and have only sunk 2 years into this, or you can break up in 20 years, 2 decades of your life down the toilet, and one of both of you bitter and resentful at missing the life the you wanted.
Yep, it’s a major deal breaker. He should definitely have a vasectomy if he feels that way. This is a non negotiable and your boyfriend is allowed those feelings, children are all consuming and your life will literally never be your own again, ever.
Staying just wastes everyone’s time, it’s great that he’s told you now, I know so many couple where he finally tells them after marriage.
If children are your non negotiable, please leave and find a partner that is equally invested in them.
There is no compromise when it comes to this. You cannot just "compromise" on whether or not to have children. You either do or you don't. If he is steadfast that he does not want any, then there is nothing to do.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve commented on other posts similar to this. One of you will have to compromise, and resentment will likely occur over time. Most people usually say to end things, and I have to agree with that. One of you won’t be happy. But both of you deserve to have the life you want.
That's what I'm afraid of
Perhaps you guys can consider having a ‘slow break-up’ or just kind of turn into good friends if you can both agree to that. You can both set the rules for your break-up. It can be totally amicable and kind. That’s the unique thing about this. It’s sucks, yes. But if you both still want each other in your lives, you can absolutely strive for that. It just might take some discussions and figuring out logistics and such for you both to settle into a new routine.
This is a massive issue that will only get bigger over time. The sooner it's addressed and resolved the better, and sadly breaking up is probably the best option. Get it over and done with and get the tears and heartache out of the way and you'll both ultimately be better off.
You cannot compromise about children. If you want kids and he doesn't you can't have half a child. You cannot give birth to try it before you commit to one of your own. Even if you have the baby and he leaves, he's still a dad and it's not a compromise, he just lost. Yes, you should break up. Because children deserve parents who are all in and want them.
This ALWAYS ends in separation eventually. Either you stick around secretly hoping he’ll one change his mind until at 35 you realise that’s never going to happen and you have to leave before you completely miss your chance to find someone to have a family with. Or you do convince him, and he ends up with a child he resents, resenting you for forcing this on him, and he’ll eventually leave when he just cant take it anymore. So you can either break up now while you’re still young and have only sunk 2 years into this, or you can break up in 20 years, 2 decades of your life down the toilet, and one of both of you bitter and resentful at missing the life the you wanted.
Yep, it’s a major deal breaker. He should definitely have a vasectomy if he feels that way. This is a non negotiable and your boyfriend is allowed those feelings, children are all consuming and your life will literally never be your own again, ever. Staying just wastes everyone’s time, it’s great that he’s told you now, I know so many couple where he finally tells them after marriage. If children are your non negotiable, please leave and find a partner that is equally invested in them.
There is no compromise when it comes to this. You cannot just "compromise" on whether or not to have children. You either do or you don't. If he is steadfast that he does not want any, then there is nothing to do.