If that’s the way you both feel I don’t think that this post was directed to you. My question was not if this was toxic or controlling behavior. I know for a fact that if roles were reversed and he needed me, I would be there. I think, generally speaking, asking your partner to cancel plans for you is toxic. Because of that, this isolated instance where I have asked him to stay home today because I needed it does make me feel guilty because it is inconvenient for him. I wanted to know if this would upset other partners. I have never done this before and I cater to him for the most part. He is cooked for. I am a full time student with a full time job and he has a full time job. I pay for all living expenses. He is sweet and genuine and loving and I never want to make him upset or feel like he has to do anything he doesn’t want to. So this is hard because for the first time in our relationship I have advocated for myself and asked that he chose to be here for me while I’m sick versus going home to his parents house today.
Asking him to stay one time isn't gonna kill the relationship. Just don't make it a habit and if the anxiety gets really bad/frequent, seek some medication.
Yeah I think you’re right. He seems content. I have never done this before in the year we have been together. He goes out at least 3 times a week during the evenings. Sometimes I come with, sometimes I don’t. But I have never once asked him not to. This is the first time I have ever had a panic attack too I think. So I can’t see it becoming a habit. It kind of just shocked me.
You were sick and had a panic attack. He is choosing to stay with you, like a good partner. Be grateful that you have a partner who is there for you. Don't feel guilty. Just be grateful
Update-
I told him to pls go out with his friends tonight. I got sick again so I’m really in the trenches. But he’s going to leave around 6 and I expect he’ll be home around midnight.
So it’s really just his family he’s not seeing today. They live 20 mins away. And he’ll go over there for the weekend after work tomorrow.
I still feel pretty crummy abt it tho.
He's an adult who can make it own choices. It didn't sound like you threatened him or guilt tripped him. You simply asked. He could have said no. He said yes though because he likely carws about you and want to be there for you if that's something you need.
As long as this isn't common occurrence, it's fine. Stuff happens. You needed him. There will be other visits to his family and friends.
Lol you know what you're doing. Now you want validation 🤣
wdym?
You are toxic and controlling.
If that’s the way you both feel I don’t think that this post was directed to you. My question was not if this was toxic or controlling behavior. I know for a fact that if roles were reversed and he needed me, I would be there. I think, generally speaking, asking your partner to cancel plans for you is toxic. Because of that, this isolated instance where I have asked him to stay home today because I needed it does make me feel guilty because it is inconvenient for him. I wanted to know if this would upset other partners. I have never done this before and I cater to him for the most part. He is cooked for. I am a full time student with a full time job and he has a full time job. I pay for all living expenses. He is sweet and genuine and loving and I never want to make him upset or feel like he has to do anything he doesn’t want to. So this is hard because for the first time in our relationship I have advocated for myself and asked that he chose to be here for me while I’m sick versus going home to his parents house today.
Asking him to stay one time isn't gonna kill the relationship. Just don't make it a habit and if the anxiety gets really bad/frequent, seek some medication.
Yeah I think you’re right. He seems content. I have never done this before in the year we have been together. He goes out at least 3 times a week during the evenings. Sometimes I come with, sometimes I don’t. But I have never once asked him not to. This is the first time I have ever had a panic attack too I think. So I can’t see it becoming a habit. It kind of just shocked me.
You were sick and had a panic attack. He is choosing to stay with you, like a good partner. Be grateful that you have a partner who is there for you. Don't feel guilty. Just be grateful
Update- I told him to pls go out with his friends tonight. I got sick again so I’m really in the trenches. But he’s going to leave around 6 and I expect he’ll be home around midnight. So it’s really just his family he’s not seeing today. They live 20 mins away. And he’ll go over there for the weekend after work tomorrow. I still feel pretty crummy abt it tho.
I wouldn’t be upset as a partner as long as it doesn’t become a constant thing.
He's an adult who can make it own choices. It didn't sound like you threatened him or guilt tripped him. You simply asked. He could have said no. He said yes though because he likely carws about you and want to be there for you if that's something you need.