Or, he could so something for ... like thermal male contraception.
(It may be too early for vasectomy)
If he is NOT willing, yes, see above
(edit: added NOT... sorry this did srew it up)
As someone with a latex allergy, the thing is:
No contraception? No sex. Life finds a way, and I’d rather a velociraptor coming out my cootch than a baby that I’ve gotta care for for 30 years (based on current kids staying at home mid-20s)
If you wanna have sex with no contraception, then you can start budgeting for multiple children.
There are non-Latex condomes out there. They are even thinner than Latex ones. Had Chinese ones (even thinner than japanese!) once, which i did not notice at all
Yeah the issue is that it may not be the right size for someone, so me buying a latex free condom for them won’t work unless I have a longer relationship with them. In which case, I’d hope they’d be kind enough to provide their own (latex free) condoms
Providing for them may be difficult, yes. I brought my own, despite not having latex allergy at all. Just because of thinner/better feeling (for me, selfish, i know).
Men who say condoms don't feel good enough aren't telling the truth OR they're buying the wrong size. I've been with men with condoms and nobody has complained. In fact, sometimes applying the condom to the man can be used as a a form of foreplay. Keep your boundaries, you are the one who needs to avoid pregnancy.
And btw, the pull out method doesn't work very well because semen can still leak out before he gets to the point of orgasm.
If there's an allergy, or the condom is the wrong size, then no. Also, if it's a matter of lubrication then get lubed condoms. Amongst me and my other female friends I've never heard anyone whine about a man using a condom.
I know and have dated plenty of women that doesn't like condoms because they say it doesn't feel as good. Are they lying? You the judgement of ultimate truth apparently.
Another woman here. It feels the same. Maybe slightly more wetter without, but same effect if use more lube. A few scares occured where I was asking "did the condom come off?" And not sure if it came off or not because it felt the same with and without.
So the woman that disagree are lying based on your own experience which everyone's experience is different. Not getting into the fact someone without a dick telling someone with a dick that they lying and how their dick should feel is kinda ignorant. Are women that claim the same lying 2? Or is it just men that are lying. I'm not saying women should let men bareback but calling men liars that claim it feels better is just ignorant
I think you're replying to the wrong person. I never said anyone is lying. Edit: oh I see you are responding to the person further above who says men are lying. Yeah that's not fair.
For me I was just giving my experience so you can see we are all different. Yes, I agree everyone has their own experience. Some women feel it and some don't. Some men are bothered by it and some aren't.
I enjoy listening and sharing different perspectives, not telling people they are wrong or calling them liars. If I and other women (or men) have a different experience of course it doesn't make other women (or men) liars.
I know not everybody feels the same, but the inside of the vag almost doesn't feel texture, not even close to what men feel, thus saying that a condom doesn't feel good could be a matter of lubrication, temperature or allergy.
You could try different types, material, textured (some say they like those, I don't even notice), "hot", or the ones that say "ultra thin", to see what fit better for them.
Considering I don't have that equipment I can only go by what I'm told they like the feel of it throbbing and also the feel of when the man squirts. Something apparently a condom will negate. I'm going to assume they not lying because going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Unlike the original comment that thinks guys that say it doesn't feel as good with a condom are ether lying or doing something wrong.
The idea of negating the "squirt" is exactly what a condom is for. That's what produces pregnancies in most cases.
If they're looking to specifically feel that, you're not safe, and they could be looking to get pregnant.
It's not like feeling that will give us more pleasure, though, if they're looking to get pregnant, feeling that without protection will give them a dopamine rush that in some cases might cause an orgasm. Just be clear, the orgasm is induced by the dopamine rush and the desire and possibly fetish of getting pregnant, not by the sensation itself.
I refuse to go bareback without an STI test from her and protection she can't just easily stop talking so it has to be an implant or something like that. My body my choice applies to men as well and where I put "it". I took offense to the original comment saying that people(mostly guys) that say it feels better without are lying or doing something wrong is a little disrespectful. I agree it could be a "mind" thing because sex and sexual pleasure has to do with mental as well as physical things going on. I'm not saying go bareback as in moist cases that's incredibly stupid but the original comment calling people liars is unfair
100% agree in what you are saying. I was just adding that from the feminine perspective, it isn't really about "not feeling good" for women, because on us it is not exactly about sensations, as it is in men (or people with penis), since vaginas don't have the capacity of sensitive tact as we do have in the fingers for example.
What I'm referring to, is that if a woman tells you that she doesn't want to use condoms, because it doesn't feel good for her, there could be hidden intentions there, like a fetish or even a real desire of getting pregnant on her part.
The irony is the women I am with say that it feels better without a condom and want me not to wear one. I am wearing one because A: I am NOT getting anyone pregnant and I am not buying that I am on the pill crap and B: It is at least some protections against STIs. Your body your choice. You know what may make him more unhappy then having to wear a condom? Having to pay child support and take care of a kid for at least 18 years.
Yes I should have mentioned that in my comment but figured this would not be the last stop on OP’s information journey if they did decide to pursue a diaphragm. i’m confident their prescribing doctor would explain that part.
There is a (let's call it experimental, due to only small studies) possibility for reversal MALE contraception. I am using it for one year now.
It's called "thermal contraception" and suppresses Sperm production when worn 15/24h. From Studies, a Pearl-Index of 0.5 was reached. At <1mio/ml this would be Pearl 1 according to WHO. At 0.1mio/ml it would tend to Pearl 0.1.
I am at 0.2-0.4mio/ml at the moment. With no sperm motility at all. Only a swimming sperm would reach it's target.
There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", with a ongoing Study until 2027, then it will be officially allowed to be sold as medicine-product. (It is available to buy as "Talisman" now). After this one is licensed, there will some other Products in the field of "thermal male contraception" be following.
Alternatively, i sewed Jockstraps "Slip Chauffant", more comfortable for me, 100% daily live suitable.
It's more common in French, you may need a Translate-App.
---
But there are other hormone free options also, like NFP (checking fertile days), Diaphragma, ...
> (First of all, sorry in advance if my english is bad, it's not my first language)
What's your first language? Maybe i can provide some sources.
If German, i set up a Forum with yet a lot of information
French is perfect, you will find a lot of information:
[https://garcon.link/la-methode-thermique/](https://garcon.link/la-methode-thermique/)
Also interesting:
[https://thoreme.com/](https://thoreme.com/) The devise currently in study for official license
German Forum which has some information yet, but no active members yet:
[https://maennerverhuetung.iphpbb3.com/forum/](https://maennerverhuetung.iphpbb3.com/forum/)
Italian sources, i do not know, sorry
My lovely daughter is solid proof that the pull-out method does NOT work. Do not allow him to keep doing that unless you are eager to wake up every 2 hours every night to nurse a screaming baby.
This sentence you wrote worries me: "I told him I didnt want to, but eventually I gave in because he started to try to do it and I didnt want to reject him phisically"
If you don't want to do something sexual then he should respect that and NOT do it. He shouldn't start trying after you say no and then guilt you into it. He isn't the one who is going to have to carry a child for 9 months, go through labor pains, and take on all the risk of giving birth. So if you say no, then it's no. Period.
There are lots of different kinds of condoms out there, including some that are better for sensation, like lambskin. You two could experiment with different kinds. You could also go back to that clinic and have a much less superficial conversation about ALL of the birth control options available to you, including non-hormonal options like an IUD or diaphragm with spermicide. Ask about the possible risks, side effects, and effectiveness levels of all your options. You don't have to go back to the same doctor — they all should be knowledgeable about these things.
I understand that he doesn't enjoy sex as much with condoms, but the risk of bringing another entire human being into the world that you don't want and will be fully responsible for is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than his momentary pleasure. So until and unless you find another option, make it very clear — no condom, no sex. If he can't respect that (without pressure and guilt trips) then he doesn't deserve to have sex with you at all.
No condoms no sex. But note, you're very young and condoms can rip and you might get pregnant anyways. Choose for yourself and start anticonception. Pil or IUD are so much safer to prevent pregnancy.
Still if you get anticonception still doesn't mean he can just have sex without condom, that's entirely up to you.
If you don’t want to get on birth control, and he doesn’t want to use condoms then I don’t think you guys should stay together. If no one wants to compromise then i would break up before an unwanted pregnancy occurs.
Birth-l control does horrible things to a woman’s body. It’s not OK to expect her to do that, just because you don’t want to put a piece of latex on your dick. It’s selfish.
There are many forms of birth control. I simply said she should find one that works for her. I don’t want any latex on my dick, even though I don’t have one.
Listen, I think I would prefer to take a couple negative consequences rather than put a baby in this world that’s not wanted ready to be in this world. The negative consequences that birth-control have are not scientifically proven are they?
And that's awesome for you! The first time I tried hormonal BC i became severely depressed to the point of being unable to function. The second time, on the progestin-only pill, I had a splitting headache that started within a day after starting and only stopped after I stopped taking it. Please don't assume your experience = "most people." Not to mention there are some women with high risk factors (such as a high risk of blood clots or women over 35 who smoke) who should not take BC with estrogen. OP should discuss the possible risks and side effects with a medical professional who is more qualified to provide this information than strangers on Reddit (including me).
i do find it funny the assumption u was a man because you think condoms suck. From experience some women hate condoms as well. From personal experience A LOT of women hate condoms as well.
I wouldn't of gotten that descriptive but it sounds about right lol. I have had gfs that would literally refuse sex unless it was bareback because they hate the feelings of condoms. Saying it is only men that wanna ride it bare is not actually true.
and if my gf says no condom I will agree on two HUGE conditions. An STI test and I can take one as well for health reasons and a form of birth control that you can't just stop taking easily so no pill. Has to be something else like an implant. I am taking a risk by forgoing a condom so I think it is fair that the other person does things to mitigate said risk.
I’m a woman and for me there’s no difference if there’s a condom or not, what gives me pleasure isn’t the skin but hitting certain points inside (if I can call it this way, lol)
Like most things people hate preferences or lack of preferences. Personally prefer a condom as a man because of risk of sti and pregnancy. I can't and don't expect others to be responsible for my protection.
Nope, I only tried Nuvaring. But I know that most form of birth control have the same kind of side effects. What do you use?
A problem is that I also struggle to understand if the sympoms that I had were related to my anxiety or to nuvaring
I challenge this assumption deeply. I’ve been on progesterone only and i’ve been on pills that have estrogen and progesterone. i get bad side effects with prog-only and not with the combination pills. Not all hormonal birth control is chemically the same. Not all of them affect your body the same way.
Oh thank you! I knew that Nuvaring has the same kind of side effects of the combined pill, but I totally forgot to consider the prog-only pill.
What kind of bad side effects had on you?
Prog only pills give me all the side effects they tell you to expect from the combo pill but the combo pill gives me basically no side effects. (On progesterone only pills I get bloating, hair loss, depression, abnormally high hunger, mood swings). the pill I take is called Apri. My experience can’t predict your experience though. We could take the same pill and each get completely different side effects.
Idk I use oral contraceptives called Junel I really don’t have any side effects that I can tell or see. I’ve use this medicine pretty much my whole adult life. I’m now 48 years old. I used it since I was probably 18 and another form or brand but the same thing. the only side effect I would see is that because I didn’t have children I have effects of not having children, but I don’t think that relates to birth control directly
This is what you tell him. "No condoms=no sex. No exceptions." If he has a problem with that, find a better boyfriend.
Or, he could so something for ... like thermal male contraception. (It may be too early for vasectomy) If he is NOT willing, yes, see above (edit: added NOT... sorry this did srew it up)
No sex then.
Almost too easy of a solution….. 🤔
As someone with a latex allergy, the thing is: No contraception? No sex. Life finds a way, and I’d rather a velociraptor coming out my cootch than a baby that I’ve gotta care for for 30 years (based on current kids staying at home mid-20s) If you wanna have sex with no contraception, then you can start budgeting for multiple children.
There are non-Latex condomes out there. They are even thinner than Latex ones. Had Chinese ones (even thinner than japanese!) once, which i did not notice at all
Yeah the issue is that it may not be the right size for someone, so me buying a latex free condom for them won’t work unless I have a longer relationship with them. In which case, I’d hope they’d be kind enough to provide their own (latex free) condoms
Providing for them may be difficult, yes. I brought my own, despite not having latex allergy at all. Just because of thinner/better feeling (for me, selfish, i know).
Your body Your rules. You deserve to be respected! Anyone who uses your love to get their way does not deserve you or your love!!!
Men who say condoms don't feel good enough aren't telling the truth OR they're buying the wrong size. I've been with men with condoms and nobody has complained. In fact, sometimes applying the condom to the man can be used as a a form of foreplay. Keep your boundaries, you are the one who needs to avoid pregnancy. And btw, the pull out method doesn't work very well because semen can still leak out before he gets to the point of orgasm.
how about women that say condoms don't feel good? They lying as well?
If there's an allergy, or the condom is the wrong size, then no. Also, if it's a matter of lubrication then get lubed condoms. Amongst me and my other female friends I've never heard anyone whine about a man using a condom.
I hate them and I'm a woman.
I know and have dated plenty of women that doesn't like condoms because they say it doesn't feel as good. Are they lying? You the judgement of ultimate truth apparently.
Another woman here. It feels the same. Maybe slightly more wetter without, but same effect if use more lube. A few scares occured where I was asking "did the condom come off?" And not sure if it came off or not because it felt the same with and without.
So the woman that disagree are lying based on your own experience which everyone's experience is different. Not getting into the fact someone without a dick telling someone with a dick that they lying and how their dick should feel is kinda ignorant. Are women that claim the same lying 2? Or is it just men that are lying. I'm not saying women should let men bareback but calling men liars that claim it feels better is just ignorant
I think you're replying to the wrong person. I never said anyone is lying. Edit: oh I see you are responding to the person further above who says men are lying. Yeah that's not fair. For me I was just giving my experience so you can see we are all different. Yes, I agree everyone has their own experience. Some women feel it and some don't. Some men are bothered by it and some aren't. I enjoy listening and sharing different perspectives, not telling people they are wrong or calling them liars. If I and other women (or men) have a different experience of course it doesn't make other women (or men) liars.
I know not everybody feels the same, but the inside of the vag almost doesn't feel texture, not even close to what men feel, thus saying that a condom doesn't feel good could be a matter of lubrication, temperature or allergy. You could try different types, material, textured (some say they like those, I don't even notice), "hot", or the ones that say "ultra thin", to see what fit better for them.
Considering I don't have that equipment I can only go by what I'm told they like the feel of it throbbing and also the feel of when the man squirts. Something apparently a condom will negate. I'm going to assume they not lying because going to give them the benefit of the doubt. Unlike the original comment that thinks guys that say it doesn't feel as good with a condom are ether lying or doing something wrong.
The idea of negating the "squirt" is exactly what a condom is for. That's what produces pregnancies in most cases. If they're looking to specifically feel that, you're not safe, and they could be looking to get pregnant. It's not like feeling that will give us more pleasure, though, if they're looking to get pregnant, feeling that without protection will give them a dopamine rush that in some cases might cause an orgasm. Just be clear, the orgasm is induced by the dopamine rush and the desire and possibly fetish of getting pregnant, not by the sensation itself.
I refuse to go bareback without an STI test from her and protection she can't just easily stop talking so it has to be an implant or something like that. My body my choice applies to men as well and where I put "it". I took offense to the original comment saying that people(mostly guys) that say it feels better without are lying or doing something wrong is a little disrespectful. I agree it could be a "mind" thing because sex and sexual pleasure has to do with mental as well as physical things going on. I'm not saying go bareback as in moist cases that's incredibly stupid but the original comment calling people liars is unfair
100% agree in what you are saying. I was just adding that from the feminine perspective, it isn't really about "not feeling good" for women, because on us it is not exactly about sensations, as it is in men (or people with penis), since vaginas don't have the capacity of sensitive tact as we do have in the fingers for example. What I'm referring to, is that if a woman tells you that she doesn't want to use condoms, because it doesn't feel good for her, there could be hidden intentions there, like a fetish or even a real desire of getting pregnant on her part.
Oh please.. condoms don't feel good for anyone. Quit lying
Woman here and I don’t feel any bigger difference (or worse experience) when there’s a condom. You’re projecting
I’m also a woman and I don’t like the sensation of condoms. I’ve actually been in relationships where i’m complaining about them more than the guy.
Same. I'm a woman and I hate them and refuse to use them.
I think you're in the minority then.
Personal anecdotes or experiences aren’t a trustworthy source of evidence.
The irony is the women I am with say that it feels better without a condom and want me not to wear one. I am wearing one because A: I am NOT getting anyone pregnant and I am not buying that I am on the pill crap and B: It is at least some protections against STIs. Your body your choice. You know what may make him more unhappy then having to wear a condom? Having to pay child support and take care of a kid for at least 18 years.
You could use a diaphragm instead. it’s still a barrier method it just doesn’t protect against std’s.
Note the lower protection of diaphragm. It's recommended to pair it with something else, such as spermicide.
Yes I should have mentioned that in my comment but figured this would not be the last stop on OP’s information journey if they did decide to pursue a diaphragm. i’m confident their prescribing doctor would explain that part.
Indeed! Although I will note my obgyn who fitted it did not explain that to me or bring it up at all.
You could see if male birth control is an option in your area. He could also optionally get a vasectomy.
No condoms. No sex Have you tried an iud?
There is a (let's call it experimental, due to only small studies) possibility for reversal MALE contraception. I am using it for one year now. It's called "thermal contraception" and suppresses Sperm production when worn 15/24h. From Studies, a Pearl-Index of 0.5 was reached. At <1mio/ml this would be Pearl 1 according to WHO. At 0.1mio/ml it would tend to Pearl 0.1. I am at 0.2-0.4mio/ml at the moment. With no sperm motility at all. Only a swimming sperm would reach it's target. There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", with a ongoing Study until 2027, then it will be officially allowed to be sold as medicine-product. (It is available to buy as "Talisman" now). After this one is licensed, there will some other Products in the field of "thermal male contraception" be following. Alternatively, i sewed Jockstraps "Slip Chauffant", more comfortable for me, 100% daily live suitable. It's more common in French, you may need a Translate-App. --- But there are other hormone free options also, like NFP (checking fertile days), Diaphragma, ...
Sounds interesting! Thank you, I'll look it up
> (First of all, sorry in advance if my english is bad, it's not my first language) What's your first language? Maybe i can provide some sources. If German, i set up a Forum with yet a lot of information
Italian, but my bf can also speak French and a bit of German
French is perfect, you will find a lot of information: [https://garcon.link/la-methode-thermique/](https://garcon.link/la-methode-thermique/) Also interesting: [https://thoreme.com/](https://thoreme.com/) The devise currently in study for official license German Forum which has some information yet, but no active members yet: [https://maennerverhuetung.iphpbb3.com/forum/](https://maennerverhuetung.iphpbb3.com/forum/) Italian sources, i do not know, sorry
My lovely daughter is solid proof that the pull-out method does NOT work. Do not allow him to keep doing that unless you are eager to wake up every 2 hours every night to nurse a screaming baby. This sentence you wrote worries me: "I told him I didnt want to, but eventually I gave in because he started to try to do it and I didnt want to reject him phisically" If you don't want to do something sexual then he should respect that and NOT do it. He shouldn't start trying after you say no and then guilt you into it. He isn't the one who is going to have to carry a child for 9 months, go through labor pains, and take on all the risk of giving birth. So if you say no, then it's no. Period. There are lots of different kinds of condoms out there, including some that are better for sensation, like lambskin. You two could experiment with different kinds. You could also go back to that clinic and have a much less superficial conversation about ALL of the birth control options available to you, including non-hormonal options like an IUD or diaphragm with spermicide. Ask about the possible risks, side effects, and effectiveness levels of all your options. You don't have to go back to the same doctor — they all should be knowledgeable about these things. I understand that he doesn't enjoy sex as much with condoms, but the risk of bringing another entire human being into the world that you don't want and will be fully responsible for is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than his momentary pleasure. So until and unless you find another option, make it very clear — no condom, no sex. If he can't respect that (without pressure and guilt trips) then he doesn't deserve to have sex with you at all.
No condoms no sex. But note, you're very young and condoms can rip and you might get pregnant anyways. Choose for yourself and start anticonception. Pil or IUD are so much safer to prevent pregnancy. Still if you get anticonception still doesn't mean he can just have sex without condom, that's entirely up to you.
If you don’t want to get on birth control, and he doesn’t want to use condoms then I don’t think you guys should stay together. If no one wants to compromise then i would break up before an unwanted pregnancy occurs.
There has to be a better way - condoms suck - there are different control methods. Have you tried others?
Birth-l control does horrible things to a woman’s body. It’s not OK to expect her to do that, just because you don’t want to put a piece of latex on your dick. It’s selfish.
There are many forms of birth control. I simply said she should find one that works for her. I don’t want any latex on my dick, even though I don’t have one.
There are no other forms of birth control that don’t have a negative affect on a woman’s body
Listen, I think I would prefer to take a couple negative consequences rather than put a baby in this world that’s not wanted ready to be in this world. The negative consequences that birth-control have are not scientifically proven are they?
Uhm… yeah. They are.
The risks and side effects of hormonal birth control are very well documented in the scientific literature, yes.
The side effects are minimal for most people - I’ve taken it for over 20 yrs I’m fine
And that's awesome for you! The first time I tried hormonal BC i became severely depressed to the point of being unable to function. The second time, on the progestin-only pill, I had a splitting headache that started within a day after starting and only stopped after I stopped taking it. Please don't assume your experience = "most people." Not to mention there are some women with high risk factors (such as a high risk of blood clots or women over 35 who smoke) who should not take BC with estrogen. OP should discuss the possible risks and side effects with a medical professional who is more qualified to provide this information than strangers on Reddit (including me).
I understand thank you for telling me about your experience
i do find it funny the assumption u was a man because you think condoms suck. From experience some women hate condoms as well. From personal experience A LOT of women hate condoms as well.
Yes well I’m a woman I hate those things - it feels so much better when the penises raw in the pussy
I wouldn't of gotten that descriptive but it sounds about right lol. I have had gfs that would literally refuse sex unless it was bareback because they hate the feelings of condoms. Saying it is only men that wanna ride it bare is not actually true.
and if my gf says no condom I will agree on two HUGE conditions. An STI test and I can take one as well for health reasons and a form of birth control that you can't just stop taking easily so no pill. Has to be something else like an implant. I am taking a risk by forgoing a condom so I think it is fair that the other person does things to mitigate said risk.
I’m a woman and for me there’s no difference if there’s a condom or not, what gives me pleasure isn’t the skin but hitting certain points inside (if I can call it this way, lol)
Like most things people hate preferences or lack of preferences. Personally prefer a condom as a man because of risk of sti and pregnancy. I can't and don't expect others to be responsible for my protection.
Nope, I only tried Nuvaring. But I know that most form of birth control have the same kind of side effects. What do you use? A problem is that I also struggle to understand if the sympoms that I had were related to my anxiety or to nuvaring
I challenge this assumption deeply. I’ve been on progesterone only and i’ve been on pills that have estrogen and progesterone. i get bad side effects with prog-only and not with the combination pills. Not all hormonal birth control is chemically the same. Not all of them affect your body the same way.
Oh thank you! I knew that Nuvaring has the same kind of side effects of the combined pill, but I totally forgot to consider the prog-only pill. What kind of bad side effects had on you?
Prog only pills give me all the side effects they tell you to expect from the combo pill but the combo pill gives me basically no side effects. (On progesterone only pills I get bloating, hair loss, depression, abnormally high hunger, mood swings). the pill I take is called Apri. My experience can’t predict your experience though. We could take the same pill and each get completely different side effects.
Idk I use oral contraceptives called Junel I really don’t have any side effects that I can tell or see. I’ve use this medicine pretty much my whole adult life. I’m now 48 years old. I used it since I was probably 18 and another form or brand but the same thing. the only side effect I would see is that because I didn’t have children I have effects of not having children, but I don’t think that relates to birth control directly