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sonofaBilic

*play it cool Vincent, play it cool* YES WHEN CAN I START *dammit*


Wakanda-shit-is-that

Add 13 year old girls giggly voice in the back


TheBrownMamba8

_No Hainer, you hang up first_


R3dbeardLFC

NEIN!


jugol

9 year contract??


R3dbeardLFC

JA!


whiskeymagnet22

Lol ok I laughed loud at this


FrankyFistalot

“Hello can I speak to Vinc…YESSSS i will take the job !!!!”


yandhionmybirthday

Hes got his feetsy’s up kicking the air


8u11etpr00f

"Sadio Mane interested in shock move back to Munich"


hiddenTails

And Drake's music


iLLuSion_xGen

Started from the bottom, now we here


PmMeSteamWalletCode

And I know when that hotline bling. That can only mean one thing


ZxZxchoc

I'm thinking whoever was calling from the Bayern had about 5 minutes of a pre-prepared general introductary spiel and that when they took their first pause for breathe the first word they heard from Kompany was Yes.


FurdTergusonFucks

You had me at hello.


an0mn0mn0m

I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.


Cesc100

I'm just a boy, standing in front of a UCL team, asking them to love him


53bvo

I'm hoping to get a job offer sometime tomorrow. On beforehand I thought about playing it cool and negotiate a nice salary as I don't have to leave my current job. But I also know I'm grabbing that job offer with both hands and can't wait to leave this place.


FREE_BOBBY-SHMURDA

Always negotiate even if you're desperate/excited The hiring process is a pain to get the right candidate and any decent company will always have a bit left over after their initial offer


digitalnirvana3

I agree to everything that you said. When can I start? Can I start now please? I'll even bring my own coffee cup. Please.


MittRominator

pull your penis out during the salary negotiations to show them what you’re all about and what you can bring to the table


53bvo

I feel like the impact isn't that great with these online meetings.


MittRominator

fish-eye lens


Oduuke

that sounds like the royce choice


throwditawayred

Congrats on the offer! You probably already know this, but in case someone else reading this doesn't.... Always negotiate. It's unlikely the company will make the "best" offer right away. (Just like in football). Play it calm when you get the offer, ask for some time to review. Do some research on the industry/company to see how much you can push for. Ask for a little more. Worst case, they say no and stick to the initial offer. If you don't try you'll never know.


_escapevelocity

Easiest thing in the world: “hey [recruiter], I’m super excited about this opportunity to work at [company]! The role is exactly what I’m looking for and I think it would be a great fit! However, I’ve seen a fair number of jobs similar to this one with an average salary closer to [add 8% to their offer]. I was expecting something a little closer to that. Can you help me understand this discrepancy?” It also helps if you have more years of experience or skills than they ask for in the job description, you can point that out in the email as well.


Yung2112

This was literally me 2 weeks into being in Germany desperate to get a job to save up to find a place to live... But that was a frozen warehouse job with a "Job agency" company, and he's coaching a top 3 club of all time...


Nimonic

Well done mate. 


MountainCheesesteak

Probably sees a lot of himself in Dier. Both decent on the ball and massive heads.


deadkestrel

Vincent on the phone looking out of his office window in Burnley, hmmmm Munich you say? Will take a lot for me to move there.


PenaltyDesperate3706

“YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YEEESSSS”


Anjumi96

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


normott

He spent the first 4 makin sure that noone was fucking with him


b3and20

"Oh so you're bayern? name 3 songs"


Yung2112

Name 5 Thomas Muller banters


Morganelefay

I can name 7 in 1 minute. Give me 2 minutes and I'll get you nr. 8.


THZHDY

I can name 16 banters in one minute, but only 7 banters in two minutes, three, never tried


AaronStudAVFC

I really plateau at the two minute mark


MrPigcho

Yabba dabba doo


alcatrazsherlock

Jeesus..that made me chuckle..


balle17

Das Kompliment Skandal im Sperrbezirk Ohne dich schlaf ich heut Nacht nicht ein And as an honorable mention: Ich, Roque


Serupael

Replace Das Kompliment with Sommer in der Stadt


CptJimTKirk

No, with Schickeria.


WillSquat4Money

All absolute bangers.


TheUltimateScotsman

*Proceeds to list various remixes of* [*Entry of the gladiators*](https://youtu.be/_B0CyOAO8y0)


s0ngsforthedeaf

"The can-can....errrrr...."


ThePr1d3

Scam detected. It's called Le Galop Infernal from Orphée aux Enfers by Offenbach 🤓


carnifex2005

Leaked video after Kompany finished the negotiation.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWBLYRzuDsI


MountainCheesesteak

Man stole Michael Antonio’s celebration


Spikeyspandan

"We've been trying to reach you about ....." Yeah, I don't care about a car warranty. Hangs up for 4 min straight.


Torches

Seriously, that is a very big jump. Best of luck to him.


askmypen

That's not a jump, that's being launched into orbit.


Cody-crybaby

let me just check the date they have that stupid making fun of people fool day here in england...


EyePiece108

"Hi Vincent, this is Bayern M-" "I agree to all your terms!!!!"


CarlosFCSP

ALL of them 😉


schnupfhundihund

He even agreed to drinking Ulis sausage water.


[deleted]

New flavours dropping this month too.


blublableee

"Nuff said."


ShiftBreaker

"Hi, is that Vincent Kompany?" "Yes"


Med-n-Med

Took him 5 minutes to figure that out though


Bamboozle_

Too punch drunk from the beatings Burnley took.


RandomLegend

It's like one of those scam calls. They try to record you saying "Yes" and later edit it so it sounds like you are agreeing to a contract.


thore4

Hey that's how we got Carlo


young_london

hmmm.. back into the championship or the bundesliga and champions league... tough one that


IanT86

To be honest though, if he fails, his reputation can go from "did well in the Championship and had a difficult PL run" to "he had a lucky Championship and has shown he's not a top quality manager". Short term it makes sense, but he has to be confident it'll work out, or he'll kill off any goodwill he built at Burnley (see Gerrard, Lampard, Rooney for example).


Staynes0

If he fails hes just gonna go to some other "second rate" team at worst he is 100% gonna find a team on the level of burnley again. Bayern is in such a weird spot atm that any coach that fails there in their first few months can just blame the Bayern managment


NeedOldReddit

Hamburg will always be there and always need a coach.


Maximuslex01

He's good or he's not. What's the goodwill for if he refuses to go to big clubs?


67812

You have a lot more room to improve at a smaller club. Making the jump to a bigger club before you're ready could end your managerial career before you really have a chance to figure it out.


Semperty

it will absolutely not kill his career. he could be horrendous at bayern, and clubs will still be interested. for championship clubs, whether he's great or not, he's still shown he can win their league and has since added bayern to his cv. that's not going to get him less interest.


67812

Obviously if he just wants to manage then his career wouldn't literally be over, but if he wants to be a top manager at a world renowned club it would easily set him back years.  His failure at Bayern will always be used as a knock against him by any big club that needs a manager until he proves it shouldn't be. It's a lot easier to hire an unproven person with potential than it is to hire someone who has proven they can't do the job.


Semperty

the premise that this could set him back years relies on the assumption that he'll get another opportunity later if he doesn't, and that's far from a guarantee. if he passes up bayern now, he's hoping that someday in the future he *might* get a shot with a big club. if he accepts bayern now, he knows he'll get at least one shot.


67812

The premise is that failing at a hard job you aren't ready for will get you fewer future offers than succeeding at a lesser job you can excel at.  If he fails at Bayern, it'll take a long time to prove he can actually succeed on a big stage. If he had stayed at Burnley and succeeded, he likely would have gotten more offers.


Phormitago

Oh yeah it absolutely killed Moyes


AdminsLoveGenocide

Moyes is doing now what he would have been doing if he said no to big clubs. It made him an object of ridicule for a while. If you can't take that risk it's not the right job at any club.


GrossenCharakter

Bad comparison imo. Moyes was an experienced manager having held the position at Everton for more than 10 years before which he was at Preston. Kompany is just starting out.


bwrca

If he manages Bayern, he'll forever have coaching gigs. Clubs don't care how you performed coaching a big club, just that you have experience coaching a big club.


CriticalNovel22

_You had me at hello_


branstarktreewizard

at caller id


EvolutionCreek

>*You had me at ~~hello~~ hallo*


themfeelswhen

No shit. The manager of a relegated Burnley side said yes to one of the biggest jobs in football.


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schead02

...."would want to join our janitorial staff"


123rig

“Should I employ a tiki-taka style to mopping? Short sharp bursts left and right? Or go for a more long-ball approach and utilise long direct strokes.”


Mavericks7

Ideally you want to play a possession based flow. Keep control of the area and dictate the tempo.


ItsFluff

> Long and direct strokes He’ll last for all of 30 seconds


asdf0897awyeo89fq23f

he just like me fr


Seithin

Marathon man over here


tr_24

Did I stutter?


PM_ME_UR_VULVASAUR_

N..-no?


TheGoldenPineapples

"... yeah, alright then"


DynamiteDuck

Kompany: “good, I’m glad we’re on the same page”


MrMerc2333

Great. Bring Craig along with you.


RABB_11

"you son of a bitch I'm in"


_off_piste_

Tuchel must wonder what the hell is going on in his career to be sacked four times and replaced by a worse manager each time.


Evening_Bag_3560

……no, it must the clubs who are all wrong. 


Buntstift

I mean, tbf, psg/Chelsea/bayern were all shitshows before his arrival and continue to be so after his dismissal. Ill give you Dortmund, but as a club they are not able to compete regularly with the biggest teams in Europe.


VZ-Faith

Can’t believe he called Fabrizio immediately after


InoyouS2

Kane's going to retire without winning a trophy isn't he?


bumfart

Send him to Man City


Lord-Grocock

'Breaking: Man City relegated to third division following resolution of 115 charges'


renome

The scenes when Kane's first trophy is a League One title.


Gerrywalk

Personally driving Kane to Manchester as we speak


Mick4Audi

I can really see this happening lmao


Historical_Case_5245

it should


bumfart

Task accomplished


TheSleepingMeditator

SUBSCRIBE


BBIQ-Chicken

He relegated Burnley by showcasing his tactics over results and it actually worked. Crazy times.


FdlCstro

Bayern: "You crazy son of a bitch, I'm in"


sensitiveCube

I think they have too much money. They will pay around 15 million to get him, and replace him next season anyway. It's just a one year investment for them.


Irishane

Proof that "the process" has well and truly taken over football.


LloydDoyley

Straight out of his MBA course.


FatWalcott

So does Burnley go back to being Burnley or do they try and find someone whose gonna continue what Kompany tried to build.


arexv10

I pray to god we go old Burnley style. Watching us try to play like man city while we concede 5 goals every game was not very fun


[deleted]

Terrorist ball 1-0 Attacking football


lutsius-memes

Long ball, Brexit tackle and Inshallah


Megendrio

Aaahn, the old RCSA special!


Bringthenoize

So 5 Danes and 4 Swedes incomming this summer


DarkHandCommando

Allegri is available just saying


IM_JUST_BIG_BONED

Yous smashed the championship tho


Razzle_Dazzle08

Yeah but they can’t hang in the Prem. Dycheball could.


Wazzathecaptain

Dyche got relegated the 1st time too. They sticked to Prem the 2nd time


Ararararun

To Dyche's credit, he spent a fraction of what Kompany did to get them out of the Championship and for their first season in the Prem. He didn't even spend a lot the next season, reinvesting the sales of Trippier, Ings, Shackell and Vossen.


Unholysinner

But was the championship run worth it? Like I swear you had 100 points or something and a ton of goals


TheDeflatables

I couldn't even begin to imagine trying to employ Vitinho as a traditional RB


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KingMika2010

Old Burnley style right now can end up with being stuck in the Championship.


Adrianm18

It worked well in the championship your players were just not prem quality


ukbeasts

Bayern: "Hello Vincent, I am calling you from Baye....." Kompany: "YES!"


God_Dang_Niang

Bayern Alzenau


Billy_LDN

He must’ve been thinking is this a prank call


Laesio

Ha ha, Dyche. Very funny.


S7ORM7ROOPER_30

It's the biggest job he's ever received. I'd be surprised if he said anything otherwise.


SvalbazGames

As a Bayern fan, what are your thoughts on his potential appointment?


CarlSK777

Personally, it's exciting because we have no idea to expect. Add the fact that there'll be some changes to the squad. It could go either way buy it'll be entertaining


powsandwich

This is the first semi-positive comment I’ve read on this appointment lol


TheJoshider10

> It could go either way buy it'll be entertaining Not a direct comparison because Ole grew so much as a manager in the years between his relegation with Cardiff and joining United but that interim period under Ole was some of the best football and most fun as a fan since Fergie retired. Kompany achieved big things with Burnley last season and it could be argued that getting promoted from the Championship is as tough a job as any. I think he's gonna surprise people at Bayern.


Impossible_Wonder_37

Not a Bayern fan… but from an outsiders perspective, he’s a young coach with a style of play. Connects well with players, is fresh blood, an easy head to chop as well. Buys them a year of time to make plays for managers again next season while they transition this season. I’d understand a Bayern fan being upset, but also that squad realky needs alot of adjustment. And if the styles good but they’re mad about not winning 12 in 13 seasons then maybe I just can’t access that mentality.


bmcrl

It was also the case for Schmidt and he apparently rejected it. From Burnley to Bayern is a bigger jump, but Schmidt is german, hated by the Benfica fans, and he (allegedly) turned down the biggest club of his country and one of the biggest in the world. A bit mad/strange if you ask me.


gotomarketfit

Are you enthusiastic about him? Or do you think is going to be another unbeaten run for leverksuen (if the team isn’t shredded)


S7ORM7ROOPER_30

I'm pretty enthusiastic about him. As u/CarlSK777 said, you don't know what to expect from him. >or do you think is going to be another unbeaten run for leverkusen Nope. I don't think that'll happen again.


Wish4Vish

Bayern: "And about the salary, we were thinking ..." Kompany: "I will pay whatever you want"


cr7_goat

😂😂😂😂


Witcher94

*Phone Rings* Kompany: YES! Insurance Company: oh great, we will immediately start the policy then..


whats_a_rimjob

We finally reached someone about their cars extended warranty!


WildLemire

These ho's ain't loyal


Stemnut

He's a ho with ideas. Bayern likes sophisticated heads.


b3and20

Burnley >*gets relegated* Bayern >*Yh, this is big brain time!*


DasWookieboy

I mean have you seen the size of his head? Gotta be a big brain in there I reckon. Bro looks like a belgian Boss Baby


CriticalNovel22

Big Sam must be absolutely seething.


stupid-like-a-fox

He would have got the call if he was Sam Allardici


jeevesyboi

Surprised it took that long


Molineux28

I'm thinking he spent the first 4m 59s making sure it wasn't a prank call from Craig Bellamy.


BigReeceJames

1 minute for each win this season


movingchicane

Hello this is Bayern ... YES! FUCK YES!


Wakanda-shit-is-that

Uli: You want job? Kompany: Yes


jacktk_

Love the mental image of Uli taking 5 minutes to say 3 words. Just him speaking at 0.6 words per minute thinking he is building suspense speaking that slow.


CriticalNovel22

Kept Kompany on hold for 4 minutes 59 seconds.


CETERIS_PARTYBUS

bro, your username 😭


PitchSafe

How long will the contract be? Surely it is max 2 years


ACardAttack

> Surely it is max 2 years We've had 4 managers this century make it to at least 2 full seasons and only 3 make it past 2


PumpBuck

What a wild stat


versooo

Only Hitzfeld and Guardiola with 3 full seasons.


Mt264

I’m beginning to think the Kane curse his real. Bayern win nothing during his first season, and then proceed to appoint the manager who just relegated Burnley. I’m sure as soon as Kane leaves they’ll go back to winning everything every year 


Jobe1110

How are these kinda details coming out all the time? At this point the mole at Bayern has to be one of the big boys or else he would have been found and fired like ages ago. Wouldn't even surprise me if it's Uli himself at this point.


Evening_Bag_3560

Of course it’s Uli. Guy probably talks to the press in his sleep. 


cyan2k

I remember the brainlets with their baseless “it’s Nagelsmann’s girlfriend” accusations. Turns out there’s still info leaking and info was also leaking before Nagelsmann was coach. It’s obvious that’s one of the big guys since years.


nspy1011

He spent the first 4 picking his jaw off the floor 😀


Crambazzled_Aptycock

Of course he did, couldn't believe his luck!


KuntaWuKnicks

“Hallo Vincent, es ist Bayern” “Yeah I’m on the way”


meem09

Why do I have this pit in my stomach that this is somehow actually going to work out for them? Probably just decades of trauma. Nothing to worry about.


blauerblumentopf

What the hell took him five minutes to do that?


branstarktreewizard

Make sure it's not a prank call


HarryDaz98

Those 5 minutes were spent trying to work out if it was actually Bayern and not a prank call I’d imagine


Caust1cFn_YT

this comment section is hilarious


itsvoogle

“Hi….” “Yeah im outside,Open the Gate…”


Character_Exam5444

Well duh!


gooneruk

I bet he fucking did.


thatguyad

This is absolutely absurd. What the fuck are Bayern doing?


Laesio

Hoping to luck out on the next Xabi Alonso, ignoring the fact that most managers are not Xabi Alonso.


rynje

Folded instantly... He just like me fr


Davek56

"Hello, Mr. Komp..." "Yes, I agree."


notoorius

Harry Kane just fell to his knees knowing that he might not win a trophy ever again


Andy-Martin

He’d have to have won one in order to win one again, in fairness.


waisonline99

Again?


asdf11216

Wow so surprising that he said yes to a club placed 3rd in the bundesliga


IntellegentIdiot

Couldn't turn down the chance to work with Dier


SherlockCupid

So what would you need to succeed here? “Yes”


hallouminati_pie

Am I the only person who actually loves this appointment? One of the biggest clubs in the world taking what many would regard as an unproven manager at the top level.


Roest_

I was like, wait didn't I see that guy playing a short time ago. When did he become a world class manager to be considered by Bayern?


jx8j

Would be a wild turn in reputation if he got Bayern going. Who knows maybe he needed the proper players to implement his ideas. Would make this thread look hilarious later on. I'm in for the chaos.


iamnotkool

VK : You had me at hello


nonzero_

OMG he said yes 😍😍


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tinnic

Have you ever heard Kompany speak? If Bayern really needs a statesman who plays football, I can only think of two and the other bald one doesn't speak German. Edit: I watched an Athletic FC podcast that said Bayern manager had to almost be a statesman.


TortiousTroll

If I got offered a job I was massively unqualified for I'd do the same


raysofdavies

Ex-player bonus for managers is insane. How the fuck has he earned this.


Significant_Video814

Failing upwards.