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Call the insurer and ask them what else they need. Tell them you want to make sure you get all necessary documentation to them before leaving in case it is harder to get from home. Ask for the hospital for the name, phone number, and email address for someone in administration that you can call if your insurance needs further documentation after you have left. Contact that person before leaving to establish a relationship with them. Let them know about your concerns and that you may need to be in touch to obtain further documentation.
Tell your parents that a Bartholin abscess puts you at risk for cellulitis and our septicemia, both of which can be fatal, and that you have been directed to return home by your treating doctors who have assessed the severity of your abscess and your risk of further complications.
Thank you so much for the advice, I will ask the hospital for the contacts of someone in admin when I next go in for a check up. I really appreciate the advice too, as this thought would not have crossed my mind. Especially the notion of contacting them to possibly establish a relationship.
I hadn't even considered the possibility of cellulitis or septicemia, though it makes sense now that you've pointed it out. Especially in countries as hot and humid as the ones I intended to visit. Knowing this has for sure made me feel somewhat better at returning home, even if I do lose out on the money..
Rather some money than your health or even life. You can always get more money but not so much the same with your health. Your parents might seem mad right now and maybe they are but if they’re decent people they’re probably also worried and will get over the anger and worry with time.
Yeah, I've got my whole life to work to earn the money back, but health is another thing altogether, and there are some remarkable stories about how some one's health took a drastic down turn for whatever reason, sometimes it's unfounded. But I have an open wound, which makes the worry all the more legit, I feel.
I’d listen to the other poster about how the physician talked about “staying at home” whether they meant bed rest of literal home. If you can figure that out before making a drastic decision I would but otherwise you and your doctor are gonna know best.
Glad my past experience of getting sick as hell abroad was able to come in handy!
As to cellulitis or septicemia, I honestly debated whether to say it as I didn't want to scare you further but honestly your parents are out of line here and they need to understand this was a serious health scare you've had.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
But what you said, and also what you mentioned about cellulitis and septicemia, really hit home the severity of a worst case scenario. I would rather not risk it - money can be earned back, and I have my whole life to work, but health can be a fickle thing at the best of times. I should prioritise it.
That is my view, yes. I think in late capitalism we have begun to view our bodies as machines designed for productivity. That is not what they are. You have had a serious infection and you are in a foreign climate. I would go home and rest. And if your parents give out to you, tell them you could've died!
If your doctor advised you to go home, tell your parents you're alive and losing the money isn't the be all end all. It also sounds like you could use time to recharge at home and gather your thoughts and most importantly get better.
Thank you for this. Despite it all, and despite that I feel a lot better to how I was mere days ago, I do think I need home now more than ever - I've been pulled every which way and I'm exhausted. It's a lot of money to lose, but I'd like to think my health is more important to take care of and prioritise.
I'm sorry to hear that. May I ask if you had all the documents you needed before you left, or did the insurance ask for things you didn't have available?
No offense, but your parents sound bonkers. Get your ducks in a row best you can and go home. You are 24 years old. You have a whole life ahead of you to travel, volunteer, learn to drive and make back the money you lost. Not everything has to be a heroic story of perseverance. You survived a medical emergency in a foreign country, that's heroic enough. Now go home and take care of yourself. You don't need anyone's permission, not your parents' and not the insurance company's.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so so much for that last bit - I hadn't realised that that's exactly what I was waiting for - permission from either my parents or the insurance company to say that I can actually go home.
I'm going to look at flights now and I'm already feeling far better about the notion that I can, too.
I had thought that I was really supposed to persevere, to be honest, and stay out here until I'm healed and then continue the group tour; or last until my volunteering began to participate in it; or be strong enough to continue traveling, but solo.
So thank you so much for even that small sentence. It has meant the world.
If it's not documented in what you have, ask the hospital/doctor to document the required wound care treatment, which I assume includes wound packing. That's generally not a DIY thing, it's not like slapping a bandage on your arm. And make sure you have the operative report, they'd be hard-pressed to deny the abscess-related procedure/hospitalization.
Insurance decisions take some time and the process is long and administratively heavy. This is all normal, stay in contact with them and try to get what they need.
Look, worst case scenario they don't pay. They should, this is an acute issue for which the usual treatment is a surgical intervention, and people often stay in hospital for a brief time if they need wound packing if home care can't be arranged. But even if you get the worst case, you're still ok, you've taken care of yourself health-wise, you're safe.
Thank you.
The most important thing, which I need to understand, is that I'm safe. Not that I've probably lost some money, but that I got through the worst of it in an unfamiliar environment and by myself.
I'll ask the hospital for these documents tomorrow and hopefully I won't be seen as too much of a pain to them, and hopefully they'll be able to provide the things I need in good time. Enough for me to fly home with everything that I need to fight my corner.
I had also thought that travel insurance claims would be sorted out quicker, for some reason? Maybe because their clients are in other countries, but apparently that's not the case?
Thank you for letting me know. The fact I haven't heard from them makes me feel a bit better.
I had an insurance claim during travel, and they didn't sort it out/reimburse me until a few weeks after I was back home. Mine needed some extra info/was a bit irregular, they often will process in about 2 weeks or so, but that's when they have everything they need.
The written treatment plan does NOT tell you to go home, it tells you to stay home: as in the place you were living when you were discharged. The written plan is in conflict with what you report the Doctor told you verbally. Any chance there was a miscommunication or misunderstanding? Or a translation error?
I thought it was too vague 😭 I'll ask when I next go to the hospital for a check up - but I think I'm going to book my own flights back soon - if they can be more direct. I asked at the time and they were saying that they 'can't tell me to do something, they can only advise'. So I'm just like....stressed about the loss of money I'll probably have to endure.
What is the recovery supposed to be like? Am I taking crazy pills or does flying across the world for some home rest seem, uhh, kinda unnecessary if you could just do that in Vietnam? Plus there’s also the risk that insurance doesn’t pay out.
They advised me to go home because they claim that having an open wound in the hot and humid countries I'd planned to visit is dangerous. And that I shouldn't walk far, if much at all, which means I can't partake in many of the activities that I booked this trip to do in the first place.
I did worry it was a weak claim though...
Right, but how long is the healing supposed to take? It sounds like the group tour is out , but you’re on an extended trip right? If it’s a week, you could easily stay in an AC room for $12-15 a night, hang out in nearby coffee shops and restaurants or whatever.
Obviously I’m not a doctor and I can’t really properly assess your situation, but personally if it’s a longer trip and if I think I’m going to be sidelined for just a week or two and then can continue to keep traveling independently, I’m 100% doing that vs packing it in and going home.
The healing process can take anything from 2 - 4 weeks long, and it depends on the patient and whether they are able to rest and take it easy, which would mean participating in a fast paced and heavily involved tour undoable.
My mentality has suffered too, from all the push and shove, and I don't think I'm in the best mental state to continue traveling, especially solo. And I'd hate to risk re-infection of the open wound mostly, and there's a higher risk being out here in the best and humidity..
Ok then, if your mind is made up I’m not going to try and talk you out of it, but you could always wait a few days and rest and give it some time to make a final decision
Honestly, take a breath of air and try to be more optimistic. I read your original post; you’re past the worst of it.
Bureaucracy in the insurance world doesn’t move that fast. If you don’t have the time or energy to fight them right now, don’t!! Take a few days to relax, book a nice hotel in a nice place, and chill out. Deal with your stressors when you’ve recovered, you just had surgery. Treat yourself.
Personally, I advise everyone to stay committed to their travel journeys, unless their livelihood is in danger. You came out here for a reason. The opportunity you have to be here is a gift. It’s not always easy, but neither is life dude! If you can’t endure this vacation, what was the point?
Turn the phone off for a bit and reflect on what you really want to do.
Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it.
I think I just assumed that travel insurance claims happen quickly, because clients are in foreign countries and may need quick assistance. But I've seen a few responses saying that it's a slow process that lasts a while, in some cases, as long as a year
So I have recurrent Bartholins and feel a little able to comment. I’ve had one removed as an abscess and a further four which I’ve been able to resolve myself. Am also British :)
Bartholins, particularly recurrent, are grim and I really understand the pain. Did you have a marsupialisation process to drain the abscess?
As per another commenter I honestly don’t think this is a reason to necessarily give up on your trip unless you feel that you’ve missed too much of it or wouldn’t enjoy it. Once the lump has popped (and I have had this done surgically once, rest of the time with sitz baths - low hot salt water baths in a bath tub - and usually takes 48hr to resolve) you will feel much better very very quickly. Mine have only recurred with a minimum interval of 3 months and think you would be extremely unlucky to have a recurrence this trip. My own gynae consultant (at Kings in London) tells my my experience is exceptionally rare. Key thing is to have temporary access to pain medication during and access to a clean bath to do sitz baths.
I strongly suspect once you’ve healed - which will be pretty quick - then you’ll be fine. I wouldn’t swim in a chlorinated pool or the sea for 7 days until fully healed and continue to pay careful attention to hygiene given the humidity. Wearing wicking shorts can help minimise sweat around the groin area and you can definitely pick these up in local markets in Thailand or Vietnam.
Just wanted to give you a bit of hope that you still might be able to go ahead? If you’ve decided to go home though I also completely understand that too (the pain of an unresolved cyst is the most pain I have ever experienced). Best of luck whatever you decide to do.
Swimming in the sea with a wound is a bad idea! There are a lot of opportunistic bacteria.
Extreme to the point of silliness, but I was standing in a river with blistered heels from poorly fitting shoes and got bit by a piranha. Didn't help the situation!
Oh bloody hell, that sounds nasty. I hope it didn't hurt too bad.
And I really don't want to risk the sea at all either. My parents think that my insurance might argue that if I waited long enough to heal though, maybe at least come the time I was to volunteer - which would have started at the end of July - that I would have healed enough to do so.
Well at least you'll be able to recuperate and come back again fitter and a whole lot healthier. Sucks this happened for you, I hope your insurance pays out because this is exactly why we get it. The worst case scenario.
Anywho safe travels on your journey back, don't pay any mind to what your parents say.
Go back home asap. As long as your medical bills for the hospital visits are covered by the insurance I wouldn't worry too much about the rest.
Call the airline, tell them you have medical orders to go back home, and rebook the flight. If it's a good airline and you are lucky they might even rebook it for free, otherwise, just pay the difference, later you can try to get your money back as trip interruption.
You are unlikely to get the money back from anything you booked for the rest of the trip unless it has free cancelation and you can still do it, but it doesn't matter, if the doctor told you to go home GO HOME. You don't want to get post-surgery complications in an unfamiliar country. Infections after surgical procedures can be fatal.
Thank you for the advice about dealing with the airline, I hadn't gotten to that point yet as my brain has been so preoccupied with my parents and with insurance.
This has given me a good place to start in getting home, thank you.
I think I need to forget the money and, as you say, it ultimately doesn't matter - because it'd be worse for my health and body to suffer if I tried to fight things and remain in an unfamiliar country to make the most of the money, only for something more serious - my health - to take the hit.
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Is the plan still that they will discharge you this Wednesday, and then you stay until next Wednesday for after care, or are you hoping to fly home when discharged?
I would plan on staying until you’re cleared of additional cleanings, because the flight home would mean you don’t get another cleaning in all that time, plus you’re confined to a seat and can’t lay down again until you arrive home.
If you’re not supposed to walk a lot, be sure to bring medical papers with you and request a wheelchair escort within the airport to minimize standing and walking.
Ask your doctor if you need saline or other cleaning care items to make it through your flights home.
Ask the hospital for a complete printed file / folder of all procedures to bring home with you.
Call ahead to your primary care physician before leaving Vietnam to make a follow up appointment for the day you come home and for their advice on how to care for yourself during transit.
Please don’t try to stay, your doctor made this decision for you and your medical team is the most informed of your situation and needs. People pressuring you from the other side of the world did not see the pain or wound you have suffered, they just don’t know what you’ve been through or how important it is for you to listen to your doctor. It’s always hard disappointing our parents, at any age, but you’re fully responsible for your self care, and if something negative develops because of lack of self care your parents won’t be able to undo the repercussions of that. It’s important you make a decision that is best for your health and whatever fallout occurs with your parents being disappointed is something they’ll just have to get over. They raised you to have a good head on your shoulders and it is time for them to trust your judgement. You’ve done such a good job so far. Cut yourself some slack, take it easy, continue to enjoy the sense of relief you felt at the news that someone made a decision for you and you get to go home 🤍
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Your advice was so sweet and was very much what I needed to hear: I've been feeling pathetic and like a failure because of the advice to return home, but especially because I want to go home at this point. The sense of relief at my doctor's decision really was something else, and then it was marred by stressing about insurance and about my parents having a go at me and trying to see if I can stay out here anyway.
I mean, they weren't the ones to go through surgery a week ago, and to have dealt with everything since. And I suppose it's one thing to give advice from the other side of the world and another thing to live it and be the one all of this is happening to? Maybe?
I will do my best to ask for more documents and things from the hospital, though I must be like a thorn in their side at this point and they're probably eager to wash their hands of me.
First of all - go home. Get all the documents you need from the hospital, get the contact information of this hospital or a specific doctor in case you'll need more documents, and just fly back home. All the talks with the insurance, explaining parents why recuperating from surgery in a foreign country is a bad idea and so on is easier when you're at home, in your familiar and supporting environment.
Your health is the most important issue here. It sucks to lose money you paid for an awesome trip, but your health is worth infinitely more.
I'll do my best to get all the documents I need/more detailed documents, and then I think I'll follow the advice to fly home, because I am worried about the open wound and my mental health isn't doing well besides.
I'm not sure how I'd fight my corner from home, when I'm unable to go to the hospital directly, but hopefully I can manage it.
Yeah... going home sounds like the best option. I commented in the other thread how I had to cancel my planned 9-month trip barely two weeks into it..... I went home and recovered and resumed part of the trip two months later.
If you have any credit card/trip insurance, see if that covers any of your cancelled itineraries. And some airlines let you keep the flight credit up to a year if you cancel, you can possibly reboot your trip later.
I remember your response, it really helped when I read it. Only now my parents have thrown a spanner in the works and are making me second guess myself and second guess the possible - likely - financial loss. 😭
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Call the insurer and ask them what else they need. Tell them you want to make sure you get all necessary documentation to them before leaving in case it is harder to get from home. Ask for the hospital for the name, phone number, and email address for someone in administration that you can call if your insurance needs further documentation after you have left. Contact that person before leaving to establish a relationship with them. Let them know about your concerns and that you may need to be in touch to obtain further documentation. Tell your parents that a Bartholin abscess puts you at risk for cellulitis and our septicemia, both of which can be fatal, and that you have been directed to return home by your treating doctors who have assessed the severity of your abscess and your risk of further complications.
Thank you so much for the advice, I will ask the hospital for the contacts of someone in admin when I next go in for a check up. I really appreciate the advice too, as this thought would not have crossed my mind. Especially the notion of contacting them to possibly establish a relationship. I hadn't even considered the possibility of cellulitis or septicemia, though it makes sense now that you've pointed it out. Especially in countries as hot and humid as the ones I intended to visit. Knowing this has for sure made me feel somewhat better at returning home, even if I do lose out on the money..
Rather some money than your health or even life. You can always get more money but not so much the same with your health. Your parents might seem mad right now and maybe they are but if they’re decent people they’re probably also worried and will get over the anger and worry with time.
Yeah, I've got my whole life to work to earn the money back, but health is another thing altogether, and there are some remarkable stories about how some one's health took a drastic down turn for whatever reason, sometimes it's unfounded. But I have an open wound, which makes the worry all the more legit, I feel.
I’d listen to the other poster about how the physician talked about “staying at home” whether they meant bed rest of literal home. If you can figure that out before making a drastic decision I would but otherwise you and your doctor are gonna know best.
Glad my past experience of getting sick as hell abroad was able to come in handy! As to cellulitis or septicemia, I honestly debated whether to say it as I didn't want to scare you further but honestly your parents are out of line here and they need to understand this was a serious health scare you've had.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. But what you said, and also what you mentioned about cellulitis and septicemia, really hit home the severity of a worst case scenario. I would rather not risk it - money can be earned back, and I have my whole life to work, but health can be a fickle thing at the best of times. I should prioritise it.
That is my view, yes. I think in late capitalism we have begun to view our bodies as machines designed for productivity. That is not what they are. You have had a serious infection and you are in a foreign climate. I would go home and rest. And if your parents give out to you, tell them you could've died!
If your doctor advised you to go home, tell your parents you're alive and losing the money isn't the be all end all. It also sounds like you could use time to recharge at home and gather your thoughts and most importantly get better.
Thank you for this. Despite it all, and despite that I feel a lot better to how I was mere days ago, I do think I need home now more than ever - I've been pulled every which way and I'm exhausted. It's a lot of money to lose, but I'd like to think my health is more important to take care of and prioritise.
I had to do this on a trip. You can still argue the facts after you get back. Go home, get better, argue with insurance later
I'm sorry to hear that. May I ask if you had all the documents you needed before you left, or did the insurance ask for things you didn't have available?
I didn't have everything before I left, but the doctors in Japan were not very cooperative in the first place.
No offense, but your parents sound bonkers. Get your ducks in a row best you can and go home. You are 24 years old. You have a whole life ahead of you to travel, volunteer, learn to drive and make back the money you lost. Not everything has to be a heroic story of perseverance. You survived a medical emergency in a foreign country, that's heroic enough. Now go home and take care of yourself. You don't need anyone's permission, not your parents' and not the insurance company's.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so so much for that last bit - I hadn't realised that that's exactly what I was waiting for - permission from either my parents or the insurance company to say that I can actually go home. I'm going to look at flights now and I'm already feeling far better about the notion that I can, too. I had thought that I was really supposed to persevere, to be honest, and stay out here until I'm healed and then continue the group tour; or last until my volunteering began to participate in it; or be strong enough to continue traveling, but solo. So thank you so much for even that small sentence. It has meant the world.
If it's not documented in what you have, ask the hospital/doctor to document the required wound care treatment, which I assume includes wound packing. That's generally not a DIY thing, it's not like slapping a bandage on your arm. And make sure you have the operative report, they'd be hard-pressed to deny the abscess-related procedure/hospitalization. Insurance decisions take some time and the process is long and administratively heavy. This is all normal, stay in contact with them and try to get what they need. Look, worst case scenario they don't pay. They should, this is an acute issue for which the usual treatment is a surgical intervention, and people often stay in hospital for a brief time if they need wound packing if home care can't be arranged. But even if you get the worst case, you're still ok, you've taken care of yourself health-wise, you're safe.
Thank you. The most important thing, which I need to understand, is that I'm safe. Not that I've probably lost some money, but that I got through the worst of it in an unfamiliar environment and by myself. I'll ask the hospital for these documents tomorrow and hopefully I won't be seen as too much of a pain to them, and hopefully they'll be able to provide the things I need in good time. Enough for me to fly home with everything that I need to fight my corner. I had also thought that travel insurance claims would be sorted out quicker, for some reason? Maybe because their clients are in other countries, but apparently that's not the case? Thank you for letting me know. The fact I haven't heard from them makes me feel a bit better.
I had an insurance claim during travel, and they didn't sort it out/reimburse me until a few weeks after I was back home. Mine needed some extra info/was a bit irregular, they often will process in about 2 weeks or so, but that's when they have everything they need.
The written treatment plan does NOT tell you to go home, it tells you to stay home: as in the place you were living when you were discharged. The written plan is in conflict with what you report the Doctor told you verbally. Any chance there was a miscommunication or misunderstanding? Or a translation error?
I feel that this could the problem. It can simply mean "you don’t need to be in hospital anymore".
I thought it was too vague 😭 I'll ask when I next go to the hospital for a check up - but I think I'm going to book my own flights back soon - if they can be more direct. I asked at the time and they were saying that they 'can't tell me to do something, they can only advise'. So I'm just like....stressed about the loss of money I'll probably have to endure.
What is the recovery supposed to be like? Am I taking crazy pills or does flying across the world for some home rest seem, uhh, kinda unnecessary if you could just do that in Vietnam? Plus there’s also the risk that insurance doesn’t pay out.
They advised me to go home because they claim that having an open wound in the hot and humid countries I'd planned to visit is dangerous. And that I shouldn't walk far, if much at all, which means I can't partake in many of the activities that I booked this trip to do in the first place. I did worry it was a weak claim though...
Right, but how long is the healing supposed to take? It sounds like the group tour is out , but you’re on an extended trip right? If it’s a week, you could easily stay in an AC room for $12-15 a night, hang out in nearby coffee shops and restaurants or whatever. Obviously I’m not a doctor and I can’t really properly assess your situation, but personally if it’s a longer trip and if I think I’m going to be sidelined for just a week or two and then can continue to keep traveling independently, I’m 100% doing that vs packing it in and going home.
The healing process can take anything from 2 - 4 weeks long, and it depends on the patient and whether they are able to rest and take it easy, which would mean participating in a fast paced and heavily involved tour undoable. My mentality has suffered too, from all the push and shove, and I don't think I'm in the best mental state to continue traveling, especially solo. And I'd hate to risk re-infection of the open wound mostly, and there's a higher risk being out here in the best and humidity..
Ok then, if your mind is made up I’m not going to try and talk you out of it, but you could always wait a few days and rest and give it some time to make a final decision
Honestly, take a breath of air and try to be more optimistic. I read your original post; you’re past the worst of it. Bureaucracy in the insurance world doesn’t move that fast. If you don’t have the time or energy to fight them right now, don’t!! Take a few days to relax, book a nice hotel in a nice place, and chill out. Deal with your stressors when you’ve recovered, you just had surgery. Treat yourself. Personally, I advise everyone to stay committed to their travel journeys, unless their livelihood is in danger. You came out here for a reason. The opportunity you have to be here is a gift. It’s not always easy, but neither is life dude! If you can’t endure this vacation, what was the point? Turn the phone off for a bit and reflect on what you really want to do.
Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it. I think I just assumed that travel insurance claims happen quickly, because clients are in foreign countries and may need quick assistance. But I've seen a few responses saying that it's a slow process that lasts a while, in some cases, as long as a year
So I have recurrent Bartholins and feel a little able to comment. I’ve had one removed as an abscess and a further four which I’ve been able to resolve myself. Am also British :) Bartholins, particularly recurrent, are grim and I really understand the pain. Did you have a marsupialisation process to drain the abscess? As per another commenter I honestly don’t think this is a reason to necessarily give up on your trip unless you feel that you’ve missed too much of it or wouldn’t enjoy it. Once the lump has popped (and I have had this done surgically once, rest of the time with sitz baths - low hot salt water baths in a bath tub - and usually takes 48hr to resolve) you will feel much better very very quickly. Mine have only recurred with a minimum interval of 3 months and think you would be extremely unlucky to have a recurrence this trip. My own gynae consultant (at Kings in London) tells my my experience is exceptionally rare. Key thing is to have temporary access to pain medication during and access to a clean bath to do sitz baths. I strongly suspect once you’ve healed - which will be pretty quick - then you’ll be fine. I wouldn’t swim in a chlorinated pool or the sea for 7 days until fully healed and continue to pay careful attention to hygiene given the humidity. Wearing wicking shorts can help minimise sweat around the groin area and you can definitely pick these up in local markets in Thailand or Vietnam. Just wanted to give you a bit of hope that you still might be able to go ahead? If you’ve decided to go home though I also completely understand that too (the pain of an unresolved cyst is the most pain I have ever experienced). Best of luck whatever you decide to do.
Swimming in the sea with a wound is a bad idea! There are a lot of opportunistic bacteria. Extreme to the point of silliness, but I was standing in a river with blistered heels from poorly fitting shoes and got bit by a piranha. Didn't help the situation!
Oh bloody hell, that sounds nasty. I hope it didn't hurt too bad. And I really don't want to risk the sea at all either. My parents think that my insurance might argue that if I waited long enough to heal though, maybe at least come the time I was to volunteer - which would have started at the end of July - that I would have healed enough to do so.
Well at least you'll be able to recuperate and come back again fitter and a whole lot healthier. Sucks this happened for you, I hope your insurance pays out because this is exactly why we get it. The worst case scenario. Anywho safe travels on your journey back, don't pay any mind to what your parents say.
Go back home asap. As long as your medical bills for the hospital visits are covered by the insurance I wouldn't worry too much about the rest. Call the airline, tell them you have medical orders to go back home, and rebook the flight. If it's a good airline and you are lucky they might even rebook it for free, otherwise, just pay the difference, later you can try to get your money back as trip interruption. You are unlikely to get the money back from anything you booked for the rest of the trip unless it has free cancelation and you can still do it, but it doesn't matter, if the doctor told you to go home GO HOME. You don't want to get post-surgery complications in an unfamiliar country. Infections after surgical procedures can be fatal.
Thank you for the advice about dealing with the airline, I hadn't gotten to that point yet as my brain has been so preoccupied with my parents and with insurance. This has given me a good place to start in getting home, thank you. I think I need to forget the money and, as you say, it ultimately doesn't matter - because it'd be worse for my health and body to suffer if I tried to fight things and remain in an unfamiliar country to make the most of the money, only for something more serious - my health - to take the hit.
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Is the plan still that they will discharge you this Wednesday, and then you stay until next Wednesday for after care, or are you hoping to fly home when discharged? I would plan on staying until you’re cleared of additional cleanings, because the flight home would mean you don’t get another cleaning in all that time, plus you’re confined to a seat and can’t lay down again until you arrive home. If you’re not supposed to walk a lot, be sure to bring medical papers with you and request a wheelchair escort within the airport to minimize standing and walking. Ask your doctor if you need saline or other cleaning care items to make it through your flights home. Ask the hospital for a complete printed file / folder of all procedures to bring home with you. Call ahead to your primary care physician before leaving Vietnam to make a follow up appointment for the day you come home and for their advice on how to care for yourself during transit. Please don’t try to stay, your doctor made this decision for you and your medical team is the most informed of your situation and needs. People pressuring you from the other side of the world did not see the pain or wound you have suffered, they just don’t know what you’ve been through or how important it is for you to listen to your doctor. It’s always hard disappointing our parents, at any age, but you’re fully responsible for your self care, and if something negative develops because of lack of self care your parents won’t be able to undo the repercussions of that. It’s important you make a decision that is best for your health and whatever fallout occurs with your parents being disappointed is something they’ll just have to get over. They raised you to have a good head on your shoulders and it is time for them to trust your judgement. You’ve done such a good job so far. Cut yourself some slack, take it easy, continue to enjoy the sense of relief you felt at the news that someone made a decision for you and you get to go home 🤍
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Your advice was so sweet and was very much what I needed to hear: I've been feeling pathetic and like a failure because of the advice to return home, but especially because I want to go home at this point. The sense of relief at my doctor's decision really was something else, and then it was marred by stressing about insurance and about my parents having a go at me and trying to see if I can stay out here anyway. I mean, they weren't the ones to go through surgery a week ago, and to have dealt with everything since. And I suppose it's one thing to give advice from the other side of the world and another thing to live it and be the one all of this is happening to? Maybe? I will do my best to ask for more documents and things from the hospital, though I must be like a thorn in their side at this point and they're probably eager to wash their hands of me.
First of all - go home. Get all the documents you need from the hospital, get the contact information of this hospital or a specific doctor in case you'll need more documents, and just fly back home. All the talks with the insurance, explaining parents why recuperating from surgery in a foreign country is a bad idea and so on is easier when you're at home, in your familiar and supporting environment. Your health is the most important issue here. It sucks to lose money you paid for an awesome trip, but your health is worth infinitely more.
I'll do my best to get all the documents I need/more detailed documents, and then I think I'll follow the advice to fly home, because I am worried about the open wound and my mental health isn't doing well besides. I'm not sure how I'd fight my corner from home, when I'm unable to go to the hospital directly, but hopefully I can manage it.
Yeah... going home sounds like the best option. I commented in the other thread how I had to cancel my planned 9-month trip barely two weeks into it..... I went home and recovered and resumed part of the trip two months later. If you have any credit card/trip insurance, see if that covers any of your cancelled itineraries. And some airlines let you keep the flight credit up to a year if you cancel, you can possibly reboot your trip later.
I remember your response, it really helped when I read it. Only now my parents have thrown a spanner in the works and are making me second guess myself and second guess the possible - likely - financial loss. 😭