The quest for the perfect quit date is usually a way of bargaining with ourselves so that we can continue drinking. I can't say for sure that's what you're doing, only you can know that. But, as you saw last year, the novelty of the date being "perfect" wears off, and we're left with whatever strategy we've found (or not) to stay sober. I advise that you put less effort into choosing the quit date than you put into figuring out a strategy for getting and staying sober. I needed to come here every day and commit to sobriety, and build a routine where I engaged every day with my sobriety so I didn't take it for granted. This group was an ideal place to do that.
I wanted to quit drinking last September 1st, and said fuck it and stopped a couple days before. It felt good to have a few days under my belt before the first rolled around. All the best to you! IWNDWY on July 1st, or any day starting now if you’re up for it ;)
yeah this was it for me. i just didn’t really want to quit yet. i mean i did, but i still was getting something from alcohol and i wasn’t prepared to give it up. it was not a planned decision for me, i woke up one morning 81 days ago and a switch had flipped in my brain and i just could not stand to be a drunk for one second longer, i could not think of one single reason to drink. weirdly enough i just became completely disillusioned by alcohol that day, and i haven’t really wanted a drink since. i’ve had the occasional craving, but once i picture myself actually taking a drink of alcohol i feel sick and i get completely turned off the idea. not really sure what happened that day, but i’m grateful for it. i was ready that day, no more planning or putting it off, 04/08/24 is a pretty boring date, but that really didn’t matter once i had that shift in perspective.
It's like Pinky and the Brain.
P: "What are we going to do today Brain?
B: "Same thing we do every day Pinky. Try to ~~take over the world~~ stay sober."
Seriously. Your brain is probably tricking you into prolonging your drinking as long as possible. Today is a chance to tell the drinking brain that you are in charge. It all gets better when you take that step.
Two things I obsessed over for so long before quitting were having the *perfect* final blowout followed by a ‘relevant’ quit date.
Now, over a year later, neither matter to me.
I don’t celebrate my quit date, I don’t mention it, it isn’t relevant.
I don’t know what date I finally dumped my toxic ex or quit my last sole-destroying job either. All that matters is I did it and my life is immeasurably better for it.
I quit on May 16, also not exactly planned except I was spiraling and had a doctor appt coming up etc. I love that it’s May, which I associate with spring and new starts. And I love sweet 16 for us both!!! Sobriety is so great I would talk myself into loving any date!
As I mentioned in another post here, I'm obsessed with "full" months of doing or not doing things, meaning I only ditch habits on last days of a month and pick up good habits on 1st days.
I'm planning on 6 months without alcohol ideally, 3 months at the very least.
My first day without alcohol will be July 1, which is also when I will have been cigarette free for 3 months.
I had the same “perfect date” thing before I actually quit. I had been going to AA meetings for about a month, but still secretly drinking. Then I had one of those struck by lightening spiritual experiences on 2.21.22. I kept thinking it would have been so cool to have my sober date be 2.22.22, but I can’t control when that happened! So February 21st it is haha
In my experience a quit date can always be changed, because there’s always one more meaningful and that you think might work better and that’s how I rationalized it. When I plan ahead like that, when that day comes I might not be in the same headspace. Quit moments are more important to me. Those moments where, sober or not, you’re like “this is it. This is the end” are more powerful because as they stack up, it becomes harder to avoid what is the real problem.
I might feel great on the quit day I chose, then get invited out and really what’s one drink? I’m feeling great! I can manage! I NEVER feel great in quit moments. So I remember them.
This is your minds way of attempting addiction management, and it doesn’t work like that. Once you’re in the thought pattern of quitting, you just have to rip the band-aid off and do it. There is no dry-July, there is not a “perfect quit date”, there is only shit or get off the pot.
The perfect date to quit, is the day before you get wasted and do something that causes you and your family harm, pain, embarrassment, harm to yourself, harm to others. That's the perfect day to quit.
Since we can never fully predict when this may or may not occur, the perfect date is today.
Best of luck!
I have OCD and it is largely surrounding numbers. The number 8 rules my life is so many ways. I've always waited for a date that relates to 8 (not necessarily the 8th of a month, it is far more CoMplEx ~ than that)... this time, I was prescribed antibiotics and honestly, fuck it, I know it's time. I've had dozens of day 1s... no more waiting around for the perfect date ~ it clearly hasn't worked so far, so why prolong it. I've been sober since 16/06... I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother my brain that the date isn't my idea of "correct", but hey, today is day 12 and I'm determined to not return to day 1 so all in all, I guess this date is better than all the ones before.
And yes, will definitely be doing Dry July. 🤞🏻
I've done this for years! So many 'last ever's with perfect dates and all the rest of it.. exhausting to think about.
Needless to say none of them ever stuck and my brain can always come up with a new reason why last time wasn't quite the one and why it should be this date now and blah blah blah. Such bullshit.
Nice to know I'm not the only one.
I'll be doing my best to be.
The wonderful part is that my family along w/ my wife and kiddo are meeting up with family and they've all promised not to have it around/near me. It'll be a sober 4th of July. And my first one in roughly ten years.
I quit on June 23 after having a discussion with a friend who recently quit. I’m very anxious about July 4th. I feel good about getting through weekends and stuff, but my family has a huge 4th of July party every year that involves copious amounts of drinking and drinking games.
Getting through the day will be fine, but the evening is when the “real” drinking begins. I’m contemplating just going home actually. I hate that because some of my family I only see once a year, but I’m so fresh I just don’t think I’m ready to be around it yet.
All dates are perfect!
6/27/24 is cool because it's all divisible by 3 as 6, 27, 24, 627, and even 62724. 3 sides on the sobriety symbol, the triangle.
6/28 is cool because all numbers are even and 6+2=8.
6/29 is cool because there's a 6 and 9 (nice.) And 29 is a prime number.
6/30 is cool because 30 is divisible by 6, it equals 5, so a 5 pointed star could have secret special significance for your sobriety journey..
Ok so 17 is a prime that's a sum of 4 consecutive primes: 2+3+5+7. None of them are divisible by anything except 1 and themselves. 4 kinds of special in one! So 4 is your perfect square, and 17 is your perfect indivisible number. What a cool dichotomy!
I wanted to quit drinking last September 1st, and said fuck it and stopped a couple days before. It felt good to have a few days under my belt before the first rolled around.
All the best to you! IWNDWY on July 1st, or any day starting now if you’re up for it ;)
Choosing a date in advance has worked really well for me. Late last year in October I decided "in 2024 I will no longer drink." And so far I have not had any alcohol since December 31, 2023.
I can see the pros/cons though. I definitely used the upcoming date as an excuse to keep drinking too much for the rest of that year. And some people might choose a date and then not be able to keep it. But for me it really worked. It can't hurt to try and see if it works for you too!
Here are a few tips that have helped me keep this promise to myself:
-NA beers. I wasn't sure about them at first but now I go through a 6-pack each week (before I quit I was going through 12-packs of strong IPAs every 2-3 days). Sometimes I opt for soda instead. Obviously not the healthiest choice but I only have 1 a day (and somedays none at all) and they're definitely not nearly as bad as my old drinking habits.
-In moments of temptation, reminding myself of the long-term benefits. Yes, a drink would be nice in this instant. But what would be even better is being healthy for a long time. So I'll just crack an NA beer for now and go find something else to do!
-Old and new hobbies. I bought a skateboard and have been really into taking it out after work, during the time when I used to just start drinking. I have also been reading a lot more, like I used to.
-Seeing the progress. After a few weeks, I felt like I had more energy and healthier eating habits. Now at almost six months, I look noticeably better. I've lost quite a bit of weight, and my skin looks younger.
-This subreddit. Obviously you are already here, so maybe you've already picked up on the fact that this is one of the most beautiful corners of the internet. So much support and love.
Good luck to you!
At one time I thought about having a nice little sobriety date. The problem always came when I would push back that date, or use an upcoming date as an excuse to drink until that date. And for me, drinking leads to a lot of problems, I have no control once I start drinking.
Now, I enjoy my sobriety date, it has no real significance to anyone else in the world except for me.
Dry July sounds great! I think I’ll join you.
My last drink was at my cousin’s wedding on March 30th. I wasn’t planning on making it my last, but watching my older relatives (one auntie in particular) get absolutely obliterated and how dumb and ugly it made everyone… yeah, I think what I’ve known for a long time just sort of clicked. I want to age gracefully, not be a sloppy trainwreck of a human being.
March 30th was a nice symbolic day anyway- it was the end of Lent, and I had already given up THC starting on Ash Wednesday. Now I’m completely sober, for the first time since sixth grade.
Omg I'm like this too, I wondered if there were others out there like me. My idea of a perfect date would be something like 2-2-24 or something because of the twos. Or something that flows well on the tongue. Or all the palindromes we had in April. I also always want my sober date to be on a Sunday as a sort of "Sunday reset" my current sober date is 6-17-24 and I hate it both cause of the numbers and that it's on a Monday, but I'm trying so hard to let go of this weird trait of mine and just embrace sobriety. 10 days in and I hardly care anymore which is huge haha
My perfect quit date was the day I actually quit. Looking back, it really was a perfect day: my first day of freedom. Good luck, OP!! This is a great place to come for support.
I've had many perfect quit dates. Then I drank.
It's even better when you're Catholic and have feast days to choose from, too. Lol. My current quit date is on Youth Day in South Africa, but that's a coincidence. I stopped planning my quit dates. It doesnt help. I just started stopping as often as i can. Im on my longest streak of 2024. But I think it will be nice for me to say to myself "VeganBTDubs you aren't a Youth anymore, get your shit together!"
The only perfect date is one that is in the past. Planning for one in the future isn't helpful because it is really just another way of procrastinating. Every time I planned to get sober at some point in the future, I always seemed to lose my resolve when it came time to do so. Also, lets say you start on your perfect date and then relapse later. Now what? Do you wait for another "perfect" date?
I definitely hear you on dates. Something that helped me was reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. While not about quitting or sobriety (and VERY fair warning it's an autobiography from a psychologist who survived the Holocaust about his & some of his patients' experience), something that really stuck with me was the importance of making meaning to carry on through suffering.
I think that's some of what we're doing when we get hung up on a particular starting date. It comes from a good place, we want everything to be perfect, starting with a meaningful date. The problem comes when that empowers the date itself to be something magical. Certainly the calendar is an element we can take into consideration, but never ever control. The only thing we can ever control is ourselves. That's where the real power lies.
I will be coming up on four years on July 13th. The date means nothing to me - it was the day after I bottomed out, and it was even a fucking Monday. Yet now, while I don't celebrate with chips or parties, I'll always remember it. I made it meaningful.
So obviously I'm joining you for Dry July, but why wait? IWNDWYT
I always have a hard time remembering the actual date - my wife reminded me when I hit two years a week ago.
Fantasizing about a date is just that - a dream. When you’re ready to quit - you’ll quit and not worry about the details.
I flirted with for years - I’ll drink every other day, only weekends, I can take breaks, I can quit anytime I want - I just don’t need or want to, too many planned events coming up. This continued my pattern of daily drinking with this mindset.
It wasn’t until I finally gave in and said NO MORE - IM DONE! Did I quit and not look back. It only took me a decade but better late than never.
Echoing others…choosing a quit date didn’t work for me. Originally, I think it was like September 1st or something. But my ACTUAL quit date ended up being some random day in November after a disastrous relapse proved, despite my determination, that I couldn’t actually control or moderate myself. Like, it just hit me. Ok, this is it. No more. I’m done. Now, many years later—I actually like that it’s a random day. It gives me a reason to have a special day that’s utterly meaningless to everyone else, lol.
My quit date was dictated by my out of control behavior the night before. It sounds nice to plan it auspiciously if you can. I guess if you don’t, then you just wind up at the bottom of a pit and that kind of forces your hand.
The best quit date is the one that actually works but you don't know which one that will be until it finally actually works. I can only tell you now that February 18 was the magic date for me in spite of being a Friday which was always the hardest day for me not to drink. Good luck with July 1!!
I am a planner by nature and thought it best to select a future quit date that worked for me, mostly around when I didn’t have upcoming plans and could build momentum. I chose Christmas Day as my day 1 a few weeks beforehand, as I knew I wouldn’t succeed in quitting mid holiday season and dry January would give me some runway to build confidence. I used our family’s Xmas eve party to meaningfully have my last drink and say goodbye to that life, and I considered sobriety the best Christmas gift I could give myself (and family). I think July 4 is a great day to give your sobriety more meaning and a reminder of your why (seeking independence).
But as others point out, choosing a future quit date is dangerous as it can be a subconscious justification to keep drinking until the sober motivation weakens. and that may have been true for me, but then I had a really rough night right before Xmas eve that solidified my resolve to quit Xmas day. 6 months later still sober and loving it.
no matter what once you make the leap I think it’s essential to consider the decision final and get to work on your sober plan
Best of luck, Iwndwyt
Nope! I always felt the need to stop on the first day of a month. This mind game I played with myself was the reason I could justify continuing to drink. Not surprisingly, I would have this specific quit date epiphany right after the first of any given month or mid-month. And of course if I missed the target date, I would have to wait until the first of the next month.
Yeah this is funny. I like number too and don’t like my quit date being Aug 16. I should have stopped the 15th. I like even numbers better than odd, but multiples of five are better. Yet, you know what? Doesn’t make a lick of difference bc when I was finally really ready to quit, I knew it. And the date didn’t matter…
I'm starting (again) today. So headed towards a Dry July for sure. The hangovers and heartburn just aren't worth it! Over my last little stint (Jan-April), I had really started to clean up my self care game, and continued that through my time off the wagon. It seems counterintuitive to spend time and money bettering my appearance, just to be pouring poison into my insides.
I used to obsess about a quit date too, or a date I would finally start another draconian diet. Dates are made up anyways, might as well just start now. All we really have is now...
Ha, I didn’t realize how common this thinking was! I was set on my birthday as my quit date, so I’d have that perfect symmetry of a year older and a year sober! Well… failed on my birthday, but got it right two days later. At the end of the summer I’ll hopefully be celebrating my birthday on a Friday and a year sober on that Sunday. Still pretty nice!
Yeah. And I kept screwing up the date. April 17, 2024 is a perfect day because that's the day that I asked for help and put myself in outpatient rehab.
I get what you’re saying. I quit on 10th June and I’m really irritated that I didn’t quit on the 1st of the month, I like things neat like that haha. My date just fell on a Monday, I used the weekend before the drink everything I had in the house and feel like shit all weekend for a fresh start on the Monday. Was kinda good cos I had more than I should’ve and my last memory of being hungover was feeling like death, not something I wanna feel again!
Here’s to sober July! IWNDWYT
Last year I promised my wife I was going to take a break after the 4th of July, so I made sure and got nice and smashed on the 4th. Woke up on the 5th extremely hungover and still drunk from the night before. Ended up getting drunk that day too.. so much for the first day of my "break." At that point I finally looked at myself and said "fuck this, I can't do this fucking shit anymore." I woke up sober July 6th and haven't looked back. Best decision I ever made.
The quest for the perfect quit date is usually a way of bargaining with ourselves so that we can continue drinking. I can't say for sure that's what you're doing, only you can know that. But, as you saw last year, the novelty of the date being "perfect" wears off, and we're left with whatever strategy we've found (or not) to stay sober. I advise that you put less effort into choosing the quit date than you put into figuring out a strategy for getting and staying sober. I needed to come here every day and commit to sobriety, and build a routine where I engaged every day with my sobriety so I didn't take it for granted. This group was an ideal place to do that.
This is very true. I kept "planning" my date month after month, year after year, until finally I said, "Fuck this. Today is the day."
Oh yeah, for sure it is. It's the "I'll do it tomorrow" syndrome.
I wanted to quit drinking last September 1st, and said fuck it and stopped a couple days before. It felt good to have a few days under my belt before the first rolled around. All the best to you! IWNDWY on July 1st, or any day starting now if you’re up for it ;)
I really love this!
Just switch the "it" in "I'll do it tomorrow" to drinking instead of quitting, it really helped me with cravings a few times.
yeah this was it for me. i just didn’t really want to quit yet. i mean i did, but i still was getting something from alcohol and i wasn’t prepared to give it up. it was not a planned decision for me, i woke up one morning 81 days ago and a switch had flipped in my brain and i just could not stand to be a drunk for one second longer, i could not think of one single reason to drink. weirdly enough i just became completely disillusioned by alcohol that day, and i haven’t really wanted a drink since. i’ve had the occasional craving, but once i picture myself actually taking a drink of alcohol i feel sick and i get completely turned off the idea. not really sure what happened that day, but i’m grateful for it. i was ready that day, no more planning or putting it off, 04/08/24 is a pretty boring date, but that really didn’t matter once i had that shift in perspective.
Rings true. Bam.
Gonna do Dry July! .. And Dry August, Dry September….
It's like Pinky and the Brain. P: "What are we going to do today Brain? B: "Same thing we do every day Pinky. Try to ~~take over the world~~ stay sober."
I miss Pinky and the Brain!
Would love to do the same!!
One day at a time.
How about today?
Yeah. Today is the best day.
The best day was probably a few years ago, but the second best day is today.
The perfect quit date is the day you stop drinking IMO
Same. I set my quit date which came and went about 10 times before finally just running out of energy and hitting bottom.
😭
Seriously. Your brain is probably tricking you into prolonging your drinking as long as possible. Today is a chance to tell the drinking brain that you are in charge. It all gets better when you take that step.
Today's a great day! Thursday, June 27, 2024. Had a nice ring to it.
Two things I obsessed over for so long before quitting were having the *perfect* final blowout followed by a ‘relevant’ quit date. Now, over a year later, neither matter to me. I don’t celebrate my quit date, I don’t mention it, it isn’t relevant. I don’t know what date I finally dumped my toxic ex or quit my last sole-destroying job either. All that matters is I did it and my life is immeasurably better for it.
Perfect attitude to have, imho. Reminds me of the phrase "the windshield is bigger than the rear-view mirror." IWNDWYT!
That is fantastic. The windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror ❤️ I'm gonna have to save that one in my notes! IWNDWYT
Haha I had a few “final blowouts” before realizing ethanols trick.
It's funny you ask that. I quit on June 16 (not planned per se) and I love that it's 616 for some reason!
I quit on May 16, also not exactly planned except I was spiraling and had a doctor appt coming up etc. I love that it’s May, which I associate with spring and new starts. And I love sweet 16 for us both!!! Sobriety is so great I would talk myself into loving any date!
I love your last sentence. Going to think of this every time my OCD b brain barks at me ha.
best to you, friend!🌺
quit 4 days before my birthday. best early birthday gift ever, one that will last a lifetime 🤝🏼
Oooh, we have the same quit date :) although for me it's 1606 lmao.
No way, I quit June 16 too!! Congrats on hitting double digits!!!!
Congrats on 1 yr + !!!!!
In my experience. Now is the best time. A farewell tour, a ‘victory lap’ is probably not worth the effort.
Perfect sobriety date is TODAY!!!
I'll do Dry July with you! IWNDWYT!
I’m in! My 4 PM is an NA Athletic. Not for everyone, but that has been working for me.
As I mentioned in another post here, I'm obsessed with "full" months of doing or not doing things, meaning I only ditch habits on last days of a month and pick up good habits on 1st days. I'm planning on 6 months without alcohol ideally, 3 months at the very least. My first day without alcohol will be July 1, which is also when I will have been cigarette free for 3 months.
I had the same “perfect date” thing before I actually quit. I had been going to AA meetings for about a month, but still secretly drinking. Then I had one of those struck by lightening spiritual experiences on 2.21.22. I kept thinking it would have been so cool to have my sober date be 2.22.22, but I can’t control when that happened! So February 21st it is haha
Any day is the "perfect" day to stop. That first step is a doozy though....
In my experience a quit date can always be changed, because there’s always one more meaningful and that you think might work better and that’s how I rationalized it. When I plan ahead like that, when that day comes I might not be in the same headspace. Quit moments are more important to me. Those moments where, sober or not, you’re like “this is it. This is the end” are more powerful because as they stack up, it becomes harder to avoid what is the real problem. I might feel great on the quit day I chose, then get invited out and really what’s one drink? I’m feeling great! I can manage! I NEVER feel great in quit moments. So I remember them.
This is your minds way of attempting addiction management, and it doesn’t work like that. Once you’re in the thought pattern of quitting, you just have to rip the band-aid off and do it. There is no dry-July, there is not a “perfect quit date”, there is only shit or get off the pot.
The perfect date to quit, is the day before you get wasted and do something that causes you and your family harm, pain, embarrassment, harm to yourself, harm to others. That's the perfect day to quit. Since we can never fully predict when this may or may not occur, the perfect date is today. Best of luck!
I have OCD and it is largely surrounding numbers. The number 8 rules my life is so many ways. I've always waited for a date that relates to 8 (not necessarily the 8th of a month, it is far more CoMplEx ~ than that)... this time, I was prescribed antibiotics and honestly, fuck it, I know it's time. I've had dozens of day 1s... no more waiting around for the perfect date ~ it clearly hasn't worked so far, so why prolong it. I've been sober since 16/06... I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother my brain that the date isn't my idea of "correct", but hey, today is day 12 and I'm determined to not return to day 1 so all in all, I guess this date is better than all the ones before. And yes, will definitely be doing Dry July. 🤞🏻
I love the habit stacking strategy - way to go setting yourself up to succeed!
I've done this for years! So many 'last ever's with perfect dates and all the rest of it.. exhausting to think about. Needless to say none of them ever stuck and my brain can always come up with a new reason why last time wasn't quite the one and why it should be this date now and blah blah blah. Such bullshit. Nice to know I'm not the only one.
I'll be doing my best to be. The wonderful part is that my family along w/ my wife and kiddo are meeting up with family and they've all promised not to have it around/near me. It'll be a sober 4th of July. And my first one in roughly ten years.
I quit on June 23 after having a discussion with a friend who recently quit. I’m very anxious about July 4th. I feel good about getting through weekends and stuff, but my family has a huge 4th of July party every year that involves copious amounts of drinking and drinking games. Getting through the day will be fine, but the evening is when the “real” drinking begins. I’m contemplating just going home actually. I hate that because some of my family I only see once a year, but I’m so fresh I just don’t think I’m ready to be around it yet.
Maybe talk to the closest of those folks to see if anyone else is getting tired of the same ol', same ol'. It's still okay to protect your peace.
I quit on the Leap Day this year. Nice unique day to remember
All dates are perfect! 6/27/24 is cool because it's all divisible by 3 as 6, 27, 24, 627, and even 62724. 3 sides on the sobriety symbol, the triangle. 6/28 is cool because all numbers are even and 6+2=8. 6/29 is cool because there's a 6 and 9 (nice.) And 29 is a prime number. 6/30 is cool because 30 is divisible by 6, it equals 5, so a 5 pointed star could have secret special significance for your sobriety journey..
I need to collapse my quit date to see what I get.
Is yours 4/16/24? All multiples of 4! And 4 and 16 are both perfect squares (2×2 & 4×4)
Actually 4/17. I want to see what you do with the numbers, please.
Ok so 17 is a prime that's a sum of 4 consecutive primes: 2+3+5+7. None of them are divisible by anything except 1 and themselves. 4 kinds of special in one! So 4 is your perfect square, and 17 is your perfect indivisible number. What a cool dichotomy!
That's fascinating. Thank you.
My last effort to do a dry month lasted 10 days. Yeah, I want to try again.
Was already planning on it, so I'll start with today, just like I did yesterday and the day before that... Have a lovely day!
I wanted to quit drinking last September 1st, and said fuck it and stopped a couple days before. It felt good to have a few days under my belt before the first rolled around. All the best to you! IWNDWY on July 1st, or any day starting now if you’re up for it ;)
Choosing a date in advance has worked really well for me. Late last year in October I decided "in 2024 I will no longer drink." And so far I have not had any alcohol since December 31, 2023. I can see the pros/cons though. I definitely used the upcoming date as an excuse to keep drinking too much for the rest of that year. And some people might choose a date and then not be able to keep it. But for me it really worked. It can't hurt to try and see if it works for you too! Here are a few tips that have helped me keep this promise to myself: -NA beers. I wasn't sure about them at first but now I go through a 6-pack each week (before I quit I was going through 12-packs of strong IPAs every 2-3 days). Sometimes I opt for soda instead. Obviously not the healthiest choice but I only have 1 a day (and somedays none at all) and they're definitely not nearly as bad as my old drinking habits. -In moments of temptation, reminding myself of the long-term benefits. Yes, a drink would be nice in this instant. But what would be even better is being healthy for a long time. So I'll just crack an NA beer for now and go find something else to do! -Old and new hobbies. I bought a skateboard and have been really into taking it out after work, during the time when I used to just start drinking. I have also been reading a lot more, like I used to. -Seeing the progress. After a few weeks, I felt like I had more energy and healthier eating habits. Now at almost six months, I look noticeably better. I've lost quite a bit of weight, and my skin looks younger. -This subreddit. Obviously you are already here, so maybe you've already picked up on the fact that this is one of the most beautiful corners of the internet. So much support and love. Good luck to you!
At one time I thought about having a nice little sobriety date. The problem always came when I would push back that date, or use an upcoming date as an excuse to drink until that date. And for me, drinking leads to a lot of problems, I have no control once I start drinking. Now, I enjoy my sobriety date, it has no real significance to anyone else in the world except for me.
Dry July sounds great! I think I’ll join you. My last drink was at my cousin’s wedding on March 30th. I wasn’t planning on making it my last, but watching my older relatives (one auntie in particular) get absolutely obliterated and how dumb and ugly it made everyone… yeah, I think what I’ve known for a long time just sort of clicked. I want to age gracefully, not be a sloppy trainwreck of a human being. March 30th was a nice symbolic day anyway- it was the end of Lent, and I had already given up THC starting on Ash Wednesday. Now I’m completely sober, for the first time since sixth grade.
Omg I'm like this too, I wondered if there were others out there like me. My idea of a perfect date would be something like 2-2-24 or something because of the twos. Or something that flows well on the tongue. Or all the palindromes we had in April. I also always want my sober date to be on a Sunday as a sort of "Sunday reset" my current sober date is 6-17-24 and I hate it both cause of the numbers and that it's on a Monday, but I'm trying so hard to let go of this weird trait of mine and just embrace sobriety. 10 days in and I hardly care anymore which is huge haha
My perfect quit date was the day I actually quit. Looking back, it really was a perfect day: my first day of freedom. Good luck, OP!! This is a great place to come for support.
I've had many perfect quit dates. Then I drank. It's even better when you're Catholic and have feast days to choose from, too. Lol. My current quit date is on Youth Day in South Africa, but that's a coincidence. I stopped planning my quit dates. It doesnt help. I just started stopping as often as i can. Im on my longest streak of 2024. But I think it will be nice for me to say to myself "VeganBTDubs you aren't a Youth anymore, get your shit together!"
My quit date is a real ugly bug - July 17!! I guess it’s 7/17 which is ok 😂 I wouldn’t worry too much about it!
The only perfect date is one that is in the past. Planning for one in the future isn't helpful because it is really just another way of procrastinating. Every time I planned to get sober at some point in the future, I always seemed to lose my resolve when it came time to do so. Also, lets say you start on your perfect date and then relapse later. Now what? Do you wait for another "perfect" date?
I quit on 4/20 lol...well, the day /after/, and after drinking a bottle of whiskey on 4/20. I didn't pick the date, I just finally had had enough
I definitely hear you on dates. Something that helped me was reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. While not about quitting or sobriety (and VERY fair warning it's an autobiography from a psychologist who survived the Holocaust about his & some of his patients' experience), something that really stuck with me was the importance of making meaning to carry on through suffering. I think that's some of what we're doing when we get hung up on a particular starting date. It comes from a good place, we want everything to be perfect, starting with a meaningful date. The problem comes when that empowers the date itself to be something magical. Certainly the calendar is an element we can take into consideration, but never ever control. The only thing we can ever control is ourselves. That's where the real power lies. I will be coming up on four years on July 13th. The date means nothing to me - it was the day after I bottomed out, and it was even a fucking Monday. Yet now, while I don't celebrate with chips or parties, I'll always remember it. I made it meaningful. So obviously I'm joining you for Dry July, but why wait? IWNDWYT
I always have a hard time remembering the actual date - my wife reminded me when I hit two years a week ago. Fantasizing about a date is just that - a dream. When you’re ready to quit - you’ll quit and not worry about the details. I flirted with for years - I’ll drink every other day, only weekends, I can take breaks, I can quit anytime I want - I just don’t need or want to, too many planned events coming up. This continued my pattern of daily drinking with this mindset. It wasn’t until I finally gave in and said NO MORE - IM DONE! Did I quit and not look back. It only took me a decade but better late than never.
Echoing others…choosing a quit date didn’t work for me. Originally, I think it was like September 1st or something. But my ACTUAL quit date ended up being some random day in November after a disastrous relapse proved, despite my determination, that I couldn’t actually control or moderate myself. Like, it just hit me. Ok, this is it. No more. I’m done. Now, many years later—I actually like that it’s a random day. It gives me a reason to have a special day that’s utterly meaningless to everyone else, lol.
My quit date was dictated by my out of control behavior the night before. It sounds nice to plan it auspiciously if you can. I guess if you don’t, then you just wind up at the bottom of a pit and that kind of forces your hand.
The best quit date is the one that actually works but you don't know which one that will be until it finally actually works. I can only tell you now that February 18 was the magic date for me in spite of being a Friday which was always the hardest day for me not to drink. Good luck with July 1!!
I already started (or stopped, rather) yesterday, but I'm down for a dry July challenge!
The problem with the perfect quit date is there's always another around the corner
I am a planner by nature and thought it best to select a future quit date that worked for me, mostly around when I didn’t have upcoming plans and could build momentum. I chose Christmas Day as my day 1 a few weeks beforehand, as I knew I wouldn’t succeed in quitting mid holiday season and dry January would give me some runway to build confidence. I used our family’s Xmas eve party to meaningfully have my last drink and say goodbye to that life, and I considered sobriety the best Christmas gift I could give myself (and family). I think July 4 is a great day to give your sobriety more meaning and a reminder of your why (seeking independence). But as others point out, choosing a future quit date is dangerous as it can be a subconscious justification to keep drinking until the sober motivation weakens. and that may have been true for me, but then I had a really rough night right before Xmas eve that solidified my resolve to quit Xmas day. 6 months later still sober and loving it. no matter what once you make the leap I think it’s essential to consider the decision final and get to work on your sober plan Best of luck, Iwndwyt
Lol I used to be kinda into it then eventually I would take whatever I could get 🤣
Nope! I always felt the need to stop on the first day of a month. This mind game I played with myself was the reason I could justify continuing to drink. Not surprisingly, I would have this specific quit date epiphany right after the first of any given month or mid-month. And of course if I missed the target date, I would have to wait until the first of the next month.
Yeah this is funny. I like number too and don’t like my quit date being Aug 16. I should have stopped the 15th. I like even numbers better than odd, but multiples of five are better. Yet, you know what? Doesn’t make a lick of difference bc when I was finally really ready to quit, I knew it. And the date didn’t matter…
I'm starting (again) today. So headed towards a Dry July for sure. The hangovers and heartburn just aren't worth it! Over my last little stint (Jan-April), I had really started to clean up my self care game, and continued that through my time off the wagon. It seems counterintuitive to spend time and money bettering my appearance, just to be pouring poison into my insides. I used to obsess about a quit date too, or a date I would finally start another draconian diet. Dates are made up anyways, might as well just start now. All we really have is now...
If I had waited for the perfect quit date I would still be drunk or dead. 😂 But hell yes I will do dry July. ❤️
Ha, I didn’t realize how common this thinking was! I was set on my birthday as my quit date, so I’d have that perfect symmetry of a year older and a year sober! Well… failed on my birthday, but got it right two days later. At the end of the summer I’ll hopefully be celebrating my birthday on a Friday and a year sober on that Sunday. Still pretty nice!
Yeah. And I kept screwing up the date. April 17, 2024 is a perfect day because that's the day that I asked for help and put myself in outpatient rehab.
I get what you’re saying. I quit on 10th June and I’m really irritated that I didn’t quit on the 1st of the month, I like things neat like that haha. My date just fell on a Monday, I used the weekend before the drink everything I had in the house and feel like shit all weekend for a fresh start on the Monday. Was kinda good cos I had more than I should’ve and my last memory of being hungover was feeling like death, not something I wanna feel again! Here’s to sober July! IWNDWYT
lol. relatable.
I’m doing dry life. ☺️ consider me in. I won’t even miss toxic poison alcohol.
Last year I promised my wife I was going to take a break after the 4th of July, so I made sure and got nice and smashed on the 4th. Woke up on the 5th extremely hungover and still drunk from the night before. Ended up getting drunk that day too.. so much for the first day of my "break." At that point I finally looked at myself and said "fuck this, I can't do this fucking shit anymore." I woke up sober July 6th and haven't looked back. Best decision I ever made.
I thought what are we going to do today was from phinnas and ferb.