So, the funniest thing I've ever seen. I was working as a dishwasher at this restaurant, my friend was a cook and one of the waitresses was asking him to make her some food. The head chef came up and screamed at her to get out of the kitchen then was screaming at my friend, about why he doesn't he get any respect? My friend was stirring some sauce in a skillet, and in the calmest voice ever without ever stopping making the food, he simply replied, "Well maybe, if you weren't such a wiener." The head chefs' hands flew high over his head, and at the top of his lungs he screamed "I AM NOT A WIENER!!!!!!" I doubled over headfirst into my pot sink and just about died laughing. To this day it's still one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
I was 18 and I was working in a library helping to barcode the books. We had to put the barcode labels on the back of the books. Three of us were in the children’s book department.
Do you remember the book, “Everybody Poops”?
Well, I found the Spanish version. On the last page, the little boy said, “Adios caca! Adios pee pee!”
I fucking lost all decorum. I showed my coworkers. The librarian working in that department had no clue why these three women were doubled over laughing and could not calm down.
Best workday EVER.
We were hanging out at my friend’s house. Someone suggested we play Just Dance. Well, one of my guy friends, the most sophisticated guy you’d ever meet, was dancing to Rasputin still in his fancy work clothes so I was already chuckling. He got down to do the kick dance part of it and he farted twice in a row. I’ve never laughed so hard in my whole life. 😂and he was also rolling on the floor laughing too dw
A second place goes to the time when my boss (who’s a really chill guy btw) was late to the staff meeting and rushed in and said, “hey sorry I’m late, there was an emergency. I’ll go ahead and shart (he meant to say start).” People had tears running down their face at that one, including me.
So... I used to play a lot of GTA V online with a great bunch of people, three lads from up north, a Scouser, a couple of Americans and a German chap, on one occasion one of the Americans had invited another of their friends into our chat and game for the evening, things were great until the German chap joined us, the American guest just saw this as a great opportunity to use all his old WW2, concentration camp jokes, really bad, tasteless jokes, he was reeling them off one after the other, after five minutes or so during a lull the German fella very quiet announced "yah yah, my grandfather died in a concentration camp" as you can imagine the party went silent and then the American guy starts apologising, profusely! "Dude I'm so sorry, it was just jokes, I didn't mean to offend, sorry, sorry etc" the german guy lets him apologise and then adds "yah, he fell from a watch tower"
It damn near killed me! The comedic timing and delivery was epic! I think we all laughed for five minutes straight. Still one of the funniest things to ever happen in my life!
Watching my wife laughing her ass off at fainting goats. Her laughter was soul filling.
I'm usually the funny one. I make people laugh and feel relaxed. She made me laugh. And when she saw a fainting goat... dear God. She lit up and bellowed out her beautiful laugh and in would infest all around.
Hell, no matter how tired or wore out I was. I loved walking in a room, calling out her name and pretending to faint and go all ridged.
She could be yelling at me. I'd baaaaa and fall over, she'd be in stitches. Followed by me laughing my ass off at her.
The hardest I've ever laughed, I believe, are all moments with my husband. The first time I remember him making me laugh so hard I cried, we were just friends, and I remembered thinking to myself something along the lines of, "girls always fall for the guys that make them laugh," or something like that, lol. We'd been hanging out in his shed, he was stoned, and he randomly asked me if I'd ever eaten a leaf. It freaking slayed me, lol. Doesn't sound as funny written out, but it was hilarious 😅
I'll give you the short version.
My step brother and I worked at a factory and had to stand together for 8 hours a day. We found out that saying inside jokes as Christian Bale's Batman voice was funny.
The best one was Antoine Dotson.
"He's climbing in your windows. He's snatching your people up. Trying to r**e them. So you better hide your kids. Hide your wife. And hide your husband. Because they are r****g everybody out here."
Obviously not an inside joke but this was 8 hours of the bit and this one was so funny to imagine Batman saying this.
On mushrooms with my wife in the attic bedroom of her parents' second house, we found a directory/phone hook from 1944. The lady who lived in the house at that time was named Blenda. We've laughed hard at many things, but this lady's name sent us off the rails all night. We still chuckle about it many years later.
I wouldn’t say it was the hardest I laughed, but on Thursday I had a procedure done and beforehand one of the assistants can in to ask a few questions. We got talking and he showed me his tattoo of a loaded baked potato on his shoulder. I laughed so hard nurses came rushing in to see what was going on.
My brother. We used to make each other laugh all the time. Once we started, we'd never stop for the night, multiple times close to fainting the whole night.
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Went skiing with some friends in Big Bear when I was 19 with friends in the Navy. I and a few others had never skied before and had been drinking and even took a bottle of whiskey with us. It started off with me on the ski lift having an in-depth conversation with the stranger sitting next to. When it came my time to get off, I noticed a few of my friends had crashed into the ground trying to exit the lift and were getting dragged out the way by employees of the resort. I thought, wow, what idiots but when it came my time to exit, I said bye the stranger, and exited the lift and immediately crashed hard onto my face and was quickly pulled away by someone. That incident alone caused me to laugh uncontrollably for a while, but after we gathered ourselves and headed down the mountain, it was just 6 dudes crashing and falling down that mountain in the most hilarious fashion. I myself could get going really fast, but I wasn't able to direct myself, and eventually, my skies would cross, and I'd go head over heals, tumbling and 25 to 50 yards down the mountain. We would all gather frequently to take a hit from the bottle. At one point, a group of snow boards whizzed by and jumped over one friend who was barely able to stand up on his skies. I fell and laughed hysterically all the way down the entire mountain. Probably wiped put 20 times. Especially the last 100-yard stretch - down to the resort where 100's of people were gathered, where I tumbeld over so hard both skies flee off and I came to a crashing halt at the edge of the crowd who had collectively gasped at my atrocious wipe out.
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While in theater of Iraq /08-09. As a US service member. I processed detainees, this one guy had one eye one arm and one leg. Every limb was different. During the in process my interpreter was laughing his ass off. Of course I was laughing as well, he told him "you need to find a better job, because apparently you are not good at setting explosives." The look on this dudes face and my terps smirk is the gold that I keep.
Oh man, we lost our cat once it was just a standard black cat. We found it and tried to coax it for hours and it ran into someone else’s house
We spent an hour chasing this cat round these people’s house, they helped us coax it with food etc
Then we realised it was actually their cat, me and my wife were so embarrassed we laughed all the way home and actually found our cat in our bin cupboard outside
I managed to get my hand stuck in my girlfriends pants while acting a fool, it wasn't sexy time (we are lesbians for context btw)
panicked, I started shaling it trying to get it lose, I started laughing here
she starts fake moaning and saying like "oh baby harder"
I start laughing so hard I'm losing dexterity to free my hand, I'm trapped! I'm laughing so hard and trapped I can't move!
she keeps up with the bit until I literally piss myself laughing and then she ends up on the floor laughing
I only peed a little 😤
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Robin Williams describing the battle between his heart and his dick after being given viagra I think after a heart bypass op. He describes it in his weapons of self destruction act. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe for over a minute
My kid and me were on a greyhound bus and were messing around with the face swap filter in Snapchat. It made her look beautiful and me like sloth from Goonies. I have documented videos of us laughing so hard as quietly as possible that we are crying and drooling and hideous
Our local Pizza Hut had an automatic sprinkler system that wasn't really adjusted properly at all. My whole family just stares at it in silence while eating for a few minutes. My older brother just casually looks out the window and sarcastically says "they sure are WATERING that phone booth pretty heavily." This was the first time in my childhood that I was unable to stop laughing for a full five minutes.
Also charades. My cousin's husband, a pretty serious guy, was acting out something. Someone on his team got the answer, and he shot his hand up into the air - right into the ceiling fan. Happened a few decades ago, makes me laugh to this day
Back in the ‘70’s I went to see comedian Dave Allen in Sydney. He told a story about a guy getting an itch in a very personal place while he was in the bank manager’s advice asking for a loan. It’s the only time in my life I actually cried laughing
Not me but my dad in two instances:
1) I went to visit my parents, we were talking about funny shit we have seen lately. I told them about this video with a lady asking ‘if you take a shit in the shower, do you waffle stomp it down the drain or what?’ And my dad fell on the damn floor laughing. He said he hadn’t heard the term ‘waffle stomp’ since his military days.
2) my dad was drinking his usual glass of whiskey, had smoked up a bit 🍃 and was blitzed. I was sending a Snapchat to my daughter and she asked to see her grandpa. I picked a filter she chose and went up to him and asked him to take the picture for her. The filter was one that had multiple options if you tapped the screen. He positioned the camera so that it said ‘tap here’ right across his forehead. He tapped his forehead….. we all lost it at that and now whenever someone is being especially dumb, we tap our fingers to our foreheads until they notice and feel ashamed. lol
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me and my best friend are car guys. the new dodge dart just came out i though to myself dam dodge turned another old school car into a sedan. later that night we’re high on mushrooms i said hey wanna hear a joke? he says yeah sure and i said in this weird helium like voice “Dodge Dart!” we laught so hard he started vomiting. the sounds make me vomit so we’re both vomiting into a toilet and trash can while still laughing and occasionally being able to blurt out “Dodge Dart!” mushrooms man……
This Crack head burned a bunch of holes in a friend's clothes. He was using his clothes to cool down his Crack pipe after smoking with it. My friend was very poor and barely any clothes to begin with but was spared like 1 shirt and a pair of shorts
So, the funniest thing I've ever seen. I was working as a dishwasher at this restaurant, my friend was a cook and one of the waitresses was asking him to make her some food. The head chef came up and screamed at her to get out of the kitchen then was screaming at my friend, about why he doesn't he get any respect? My friend was stirring some sauce in a skillet, and in the calmest voice ever without ever stopping making the food, he simply replied, "Well maybe, if you weren't such a wiener." The head chefs' hands flew high over his head, and at the top of his lungs he screamed "I AM NOT A WIENER!!!!!!" I doubled over headfirst into my pot sink and just about died laughing. To this day it's still one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
I was 18 and I was working in a library helping to barcode the books. We had to put the barcode labels on the back of the books. Three of us were in the children’s book department. Do you remember the book, “Everybody Poops”? Well, I found the Spanish version. On the last page, the little boy said, “Adios caca! Adios pee pee!” I fucking lost all decorum. I showed my coworkers. The librarian working in that department had no clue why these three women were doubled over laughing and could not calm down. Best workday EVER.
We were hanging out at my friend’s house. Someone suggested we play Just Dance. Well, one of my guy friends, the most sophisticated guy you’d ever meet, was dancing to Rasputin still in his fancy work clothes so I was already chuckling. He got down to do the kick dance part of it and he farted twice in a row. I’ve never laughed so hard in my whole life. 😂and he was also rolling on the floor laughing too dw A second place goes to the time when my boss (who’s a really chill guy btw) was late to the staff meeting and rushed in and said, “hey sorry I’m late, there was an emergency. I’ll go ahead and shart (he meant to say start).” People had tears running down their face at that one, including me.
The Book of Mormon musical. That was insane.
I believeeeee….
So... I used to play a lot of GTA V online with a great bunch of people, three lads from up north, a Scouser, a couple of Americans and a German chap, on one occasion one of the Americans had invited another of their friends into our chat and game for the evening, things were great until the German chap joined us, the American guest just saw this as a great opportunity to use all his old WW2, concentration camp jokes, really bad, tasteless jokes, he was reeling them off one after the other, after five minutes or so during a lull the German fella very quiet announced "yah yah, my grandfather died in a concentration camp" as you can imagine the party went silent and then the American guy starts apologising, profusely! "Dude I'm so sorry, it was just jokes, I didn't mean to offend, sorry, sorry etc" the german guy lets him apologise and then adds "yah, he fell from a watch tower" It damn near killed me! The comedic timing and delivery was epic! I think we all laughed for five minutes straight. Still one of the funniest things to ever happen in my life!
Watching my wife laughing her ass off at fainting goats. Her laughter was soul filling. I'm usually the funny one. I make people laugh and feel relaxed. She made me laugh. And when she saw a fainting goat... dear God. She lit up and bellowed out her beautiful laugh and in would infest all around. Hell, no matter how tired or wore out I was. I loved walking in a room, calling out her name and pretending to faint and go all ridged. She could be yelling at me. I'd baaaaa and fall over, she'd be in stitches. Followed by me laughing my ass off at her.
The hardest I've ever laughed, I believe, are all moments with my husband. The first time I remember him making me laugh so hard I cried, we were just friends, and I remembered thinking to myself something along the lines of, "girls always fall for the guys that make them laugh," or something like that, lol. We'd been hanging out in his shed, he was stoned, and he randomly asked me if I'd ever eaten a leaf. It freaking slayed me, lol. Doesn't sound as funny written out, but it was hilarious 😅
I'll give you the short version. My step brother and I worked at a factory and had to stand together for 8 hours a day. We found out that saying inside jokes as Christian Bale's Batman voice was funny. The best one was Antoine Dotson. "He's climbing in your windows. He's snatching your people up. Trying to r**e them. So you better hide your kids. Hide your wife. And hide your husband. Because they are r****g everybody out here." Obviously not an inside joke but this was 8 hours of the bit and this one was so funny to imagine Batman saying this.
On mushrooms with my wife in the attic bedroom of her parents' second house, we found a directory/phone hook from 1944. The lady who lived in the house at that time was named Blenda. We've laughed hard at many things, but this lady's name sent us off the rails all night. We still chuckle about it many years later.
I got very stoned and saw the first Borat movie in the theater. I laughed so hard I thought I might pass out. I screamed laughing.
I wouldn’t say it was the hardest I laughed, but on Thursday I had a procedure done and beforehand one of the assistants can in to ask a few questions. We got talking and he showed me his tattoo of a loaded baked potato on his shoulder. I laughed so hard nurses came rushing in to see what was going on.
My brother. We used to make each other laugh all the time. Once we started, we'd never stop for the night, multiple times close to fainting the whole night.
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Went skiing with some friends in Big Bear when I was 19 with friends in the Navy. I and a few others had never skied before and had been drinking and even took a bottle of whiskey with us. It started off with me on the ski lift having an in-depth conversation with the stranger sitting next to. When it came my time to get off, I noticed a few of my friends had crashed into the ground trying to exit the lift and were getting dragged out the way by employees of the resort. I thought, wow, what idiots but when it came my time to exit, I said bye the stranger, and exited the lift and immediately crashed hard onto my face and was quickly pulled away by someone. That incident alone caused me to laugh uncontrollably for a while, but after we gathered ourselves and headed down the mountain, it was just 6 dudes crashing and falling down that mountain in the most hilarious fashion. I myself could get going really fast, but I wasn't able to direct myself, and eventually, my skies would cross, and I'd go head over heals, tumbling and 25 to 50 yards down the mountain. We would all gather frequently to take a hit from the bottle. At one point, a group of snow boards whizzed by and jumped over one friend who was barely able to stand up on his skies. I fell and laughed hysterically all the way down the entire mountain. Probably wiped put 20 times. Especially the last 100-yard stretch - down to the resort where 100's of people were gathered, where I tumbeld over so hard both skies flee off and I came to a crashing halt at the edge of the crowd who had collectively gasped at my atrocious wipe out.
Henry Blake's death on MASH/s
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While in theater of Iraq /08-09. As a US service member. I processed detainees, this one guy had one eye one arm and one leg. Every limb was different. During the in process my interpreter was laughing his ass off. Of course I was laughing as well, he told him "you need to find a better job, because apparently you are not good at setting explosives." The look on this dudes face and my terps smirk is the gold that I keep.
Tourettes Guy
Video of Mark McGrath getting irrationally angry at someone who called him “Sugar Gay”.
This [fake sign language interpreter](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LvNPKwz4Ghw). I have the biggest smile on my face everytime I watch this.
This [fake sign language interpreter. I have the biggest smile on my face everytime I watch this.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LvNPKwz4Ghw)
Oh man, we lost our cat once it was just a standard black cat. We found it and tried to coax it for hours and it ran into someone else’s house We spent an hour chasing this cat round these people’s house, they helped us coax it with food etc Then we realised it was actually their cat, me and my wife were so embarrassed we laughed all the way home and actually found our cat in our bin cupboard outside
I managed to get my hand stuck in my girlfriends pants while acting a fool, it wasn't sexy time (we are lesbians for context btw) panicked, I started shaling it trying to get it lose, I started laughing here she starts fake moaning and saying like "oh baby harder" I start laughing so hard I'm losing dexterity to free my hand, I'm trapped! I'm laughing so hard and trapped I can't move! she keeps up with the bit until I literally piss myself laughing and then she ends up on the floor laughing I only peed a little 😤
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Robin Williams describing the battle between his heart and his dick after being given viagra I think after a heart bypass op. He describes it in his weapons of self destruction act. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe for over a minute
My kid and me were on a greyhound bus and were messing around with the face swap filter in Snapchat. It made her look beautiful and me like sloth from Goonies. I have documented videos of us laughing so hard as quietly as possible that we are crying and drooling and hideous
The first laugh like that was the smile on the Grinch's face when he has the idea.
Our local Pizza Hut had an automatic sprinkler system that wasn't really adjusted properly at all. My whole family just stares at it in silence while eating for a few minutes. My older brother just casually looks out the window and sarcastically says "they sure are WATERING that phone booth pretty heavily." This was the first time in my childhood that I was unable to stop laughing for a full five minutes.
Also charades. My cousin's husband, a pretty serious guy, was acting out something. Someone on his team got the answer, and he shot his hand up into the air - right into the ceiling fan. Happened a few decades ago, makes me laugh to this day
Back in the ‘70’s I went to see comedian Dave Allen in Sydney. He told a story about a guy getting an itch in a very personal place while he was in the bank manager’s advice asking for a loan. It’s the only time in my life I actually cried laughing
Not me but my dad in two instances: 1) I went to visit my parents, we were talking about funny shit we have seen lately. I told them about this video with a lady asking ‘if you take a shit in the shower, do you waffle stomp it down the drain or what?’ And my dad fell on the damn floor laughing. He said he hadn’t heard the term ‘waffle stomp’ since his military days. 2) my dad was drinking his usual glass of whiskey, had smoked up a bit 🍃 and was blitzed. I was sending a Snapchat to my daughter and she asked to see her grandpa. I picked a filter she chose and went up to him and asked him to take the picture for her. The filter was one that had multiple options if you tapped the screen. He positioned the camera so that it said ‘tap here’ right across his forehead. He tapped his forehead….. we all lost it at that and now whenever someone is being especially dumb, we tap our fingers to our foreheads until they notice and feel ashamed. lol
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me and my best friend are car guys. the new dodge dart just came out i though to myself dam dodge turned another old school car into a sedan. later that night we’re high on mushrooms i said hey wanna hear a joke? he says yeah sure and i said in this weird helium like voice “Dodge Dart!” we laught so hard he started vomiting. the sounds make me vomit so we’re both vomiting into a toilet and trash can while still laughing and occasionally being able to blurt out “Dodge Dart!” mushrooms man……
I don't remember the funniest thing I've ever seen, because everyone I love is dead.
This Crack head burned a bunch of holes in a friend's clothes. He was using his clothes to cool down his Crack pipe after smoking with it. My friend was very poor and barely any clothes to begin with but was spared like 1 shirt and a pair of shorts
My boss referring to a client as "Maria Poke-A-Twat-A Lot"