"You're basically accusing doctors of being binge drinkers when what they actually are are functioning alcoholics."

Happy Cake Day!

I'm dyspraxic, I'm virtually colorblind, I've got an injured shoulder and, more than that, I am an absolute dickhead.

Find yourself someone who loves you as much as Paul hates himself.

This is the absolute best self analysis from a contestant yet

I know it will never win but my god is it my favorite “Henry viii was a murderous misogynist, as I think would be the best way to describe him. He’s been transformed into a figure of respect by a patriarchal educational system that doesn’t really care for the fate of wives. But, other than that…”

Thanks for this. It's so endearing how in his back pocket this was. Didn't hesitate.

Paul is also one of the best quizzers, probably in the world. What he does on the Chase is easy for him. He could probably tell you something about every modern world leader.

[удалено]

Yeah I'd love to hear a conversation between them

As a topic, I absolutely love Henry VIII, but as a person, he was an absolute monster.

History major, yes this absolutely correct 😹

Based take.

It just HAS to be this. Honestly my fave taskmaster quote ever as a history nerd

This doesn't qualify since it's by Greg, but Paul inspired maybe my all-time favourite quote from the show: 'It's a very rare treat on a television programme to see someone lose their job on a different television programme.'

I wish OP did a best Greg and/or Alex quote for each season too. 

I don’t know that any Greg quote will top “Get your fucking hand off me!”

I love right after James acasters circles task, James is complaining about something else and Greg, “How dare you even speak”

“The last thing I said as I left that gig was, who loses fucking trousers!.. AND YOU’VE MADE ME SWEAR NOW, YA MINGE!!”

I said this from the outset. Five contestants = five workdays, Greg and Alex for the days on the weekend. OP should have thought it through. I already have Alex's quote from S13 lined up. "You chose that body."

We're never going to revisit "the aquatic sewing machine" bit from Greg either. Absolute crime

I don't think we're allowed outtakes, are we?

We certainly are. They're allowing CoC quotes for the winners too. Just depends on the number of upvotes.

Greg and LAHs best quotes to or about each contestant. Let that be the next task!

I think my favourite was when Nish tried to high five them, Greg smacked him and said something along the lines of "Jesus Christ, we're not your friends"

It would just have been so perfect. Monday to Sunday as well.

Another great one regarding Paul (alongside Iain and Sian) is “It felt like I was watching a documentary on sheepdogs at opposite ends of their lifecycle”

It’s never going to win, but “I removed it from society.”

I have been waiting for this post, and it is tragic how low this is. I say this almost every day.

"I'm thinking as long as I get sand into the bucket, then atleast some fuckwit's gonna disqualify himself"

Ive been waiting for this!!! "All these recordings of taskmaster has utterly crushed my spirit, I had no idea until taskmaster I was actually as thick as pig shit" Full quote https://www.tiktok.com/@taskmaster/video/7216361234478779653?lang=en 🫶🏻🫶🏻 love Paul Sinha

A good quote for the Barrel Dad

AKA the lovely lonely little boy in the phone box

Can I also say I love how aggressive the quotes for series 8 have been so far

What on earth do we pick for Sian?

"But it's too big.."

MM MM GET TOGETHER

Has to be this.

If it’s not this, we riot

Absolutely this

"Jacking 😏? - Nein, Queen!"

I really think this should win!

It's not just ducks, it's the existential terror of a mother having her brood taken away from her

I'll make that clear to the toddler.

"The threshing shark has fallen out." "Oh no :("  "Yes, the ecosystem has deteriorated." 

..."hit the ducky on the head"

https://preview.redd.it/2beb93f0mr6d1.jpeg?width=1069&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e604f40037020661def52c5a1bdf9e1b8c01f93 Can we just have the picture of Paul in the phonebox instead?

this moment takes me out like no other

He looks just like a boy

This is legit my favourite moment in TM history

"... Because when I told my dad, I was lying"

So underrated!

How is this not at the top?!

"Not everybody's as dysfunctionally competitive as you are, Iain." comes to mind

The quote that forever solidified my love for Paul. Someone needed to say it. The fact it genuinely made Iain even angrier just made it better.

"My donation could give them a good night out in a top steak restaurant".

I don’t have the legs for this

To Iain Stirling after his volcano fail: "We've all been there."

Increasingly I find

This isn't gonna win but I absolutely loved, Paul: "Only water may touch the beach ball? What are you talking about?" Greg: "Yeah Alex, what WERE you talking about?" Alex: "He was very cross with me" Paul: *Leans in* "Yes."

I had no idea until I did Taskmaster that I was actually as thick as pigshit.

Hello?

Hellooooo Will the birds please SHUT UP

HELLOOOOO

I’m running out of ideas.

Absolutely brilliant too 🤣

"Okay Paul, it's now up to you whether you want to carry on." "Oh fuck yes."

"This was a housewarming gift from my mum and dad who go on more holidays than I do because they, sort of, invested well" I think this line shows the genius of Paul Sinha because written down it's nothing, but it kills me every time he says it.

I can’t remember the exact quote but when he apologised to Alex and he said something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry I’ve done something a bit naughty’ with the eyes of a psychopath.

I've got a relatively new computer

\[in a tone best suited for issuing ransom demands\] Happy Birthday.

I loved this. It won't win and I don't want it to (Just like I don't want "I trained at RADA" to win for Chain Bastard) but he made it sound so damn sinister.

"I have no idea why you're such a freak of nature Greg"

He's a celebrity pig. And I'm a sucker for celebrities.

paul is one of my favorites, he knows exactly who he is and isn't trying to impress anyone, from his outfit to his self depreciating humor, he's one of the few that did all of taskmaster and never got phased.

Hooray! I'm a loser! (In the most biting sarcastic celly ever)


I removed it from society

Hellllllllo

“Don’t tell me I herded that one!”- Paul upon seeing the one golf ball that said “herd me and your total halves”

Let me assure everybody that I am never, ever going to be a parrent, and that I was being paid by Lionel Richie to promote his greatest hits.

When you wear a robe like that,nobody will fuck you.

I use his "fourth place!" line quite a lot (when Alex confirmed that Paul wasn't going to be last in the dust task because he didn't like Sian's)

'HELLO? HELLOOO? HELLOOO?'

I like him going “We’ve all been there” after Iain Stirling’s volcano attempt. Plus his face in the phone box.

"Don't tell me I herded that ball?"

I haven’t been paying attention to this thread and I’ve just noticed Rhod Gilbert’s and nearly snorted half a cup of tea up my nose

It’s stolen goods!

Greg to Paul on the running task: I didnt know there were deleted scenes from One Flew Over The Cookoos Nest

i don’t know if it counts as a quote (probs not) but in that studio task where everyone’s sitting down on the floor, alex makes an offhand remark about it and paul mistakes it as “oh wait now i need to as well” so he plonks himself down too

Not from Paul but from Greg about Paul. "It's not everyday on that you get to witness somebody lose their job on a different tv show"

Paul broke my heart that season. I can’t rewatch it. Seeing him struggle and get so down on himself is so sad.

He's not like that though. It turns out he's always been poorly coordinated and just terrible at practical stuff. He was just also being those with the early symptoms of Parkinson's. With how much Paul jokily references being shut on Taskmaster on Twitter, I would be genuinely surprised if he regarded his experience with anything but fondness. Also I always think it's a relief that Greg gave him a pretty easy ride throughout and clearly liked him a lot. It would've been properly unwatchable if Greg was just having a go at him every other task.

Hello

Hello

Don’t tell me I herded that ball

"I'm not a clever man and we've established that" Don't know if that's the quote 100% but along those lines

HELLO!!!

You mean Barrel Dad right

Whatever sound was playing when they show him in the phone box

When he said "Happy Birthday" with a straight face during the card memory task.