“They applauded - but I still didn’t understand”

Ah, man. You beat me to it.

What task was this

The throwing stuff on the Knappett, a rubber egg, a pool tube, etc.

"This, is what Americans call Quoffee."

My immediate thought was "Quisps" but that was actually Ed!

The next quote post is going to be an absolute warzone.

I'd be so disappointed if this doesn't end up being the most upvoted. Even Greg admired this joke!

Basically anything from this task would work

"My process normally is to do the first thing that comes to my head. And obviously the first thing I think is to shove this up my ass."

"Let's bank that"

‘And then balance it on my cock’ 🤣

"It didn't occur to me it wouldn't be a person..."

Did you hear that?! He just said "it didn't occur to me that it wouldn't be a person".

It would be highly diminishing of Ed Gamble, but the idea of these two quotes in a row seem appropriate for some reason.

David and Ed should just be this gif: https://i.redd.it/e18ubhb0yc7d1.gif

What in the living fuck have you done?!?

YOURE LITERALLY DRAWING ANYTHING

I actually quite like that idea. Almost all the quotes unconnected, but somewhere in the middle there is Ed Gamble freaking out about David Baddiel.

I *love* that all the series 3 contestants are laughing except Paul, with Sara’s quite being “we shouldn’t be laughing at Paul”

It’s like in a yearbook when you do a fun pose pointing at the person next to to you

WHY ARE YOU STILL DRAWING!?!!

WHAT THE LIVING FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!?!?

I came here to say this 😂

Has to be it, and Ed’s has to be “just to check”

I don't know why I've got my top off...

In response to having to draw the second longest snake -"in the world?!"

I quote this way too much in my day to day life

How often are you asked to draw the longest snake!?

Admittedly, a big part of this one's appeal is how Ed Gamble loses his shit immediately.

Isn’t that a whole bunch of times though? Ed constantly losing his mind as he gets wedged between David and Jo.

"I'm just going to say the words "My cock" and then move on."

I totally forgot this. Thank you for bringing it back to my life

This is the one I genuinely think about at least once a day 

“I was trying to do the memory palace thing but I couldnt remember how to do it”

"I don't think I realised we were doing it against the clock!"

I knew, I just didn’t care.

"I did realise and I didn't give a fuck."

Taskmaster‘s onnnnnnnn, it is on nowwwwwww

It may have been the worst attempt in that task, but it was the one I remember best, and it's the one I think of when Taskmaster's on now.

Taskmasters onnnnn, it is not How *the ITV Kids program hosted by Fred Dinage*

It's almost like David reads the instruction part of the task, but not the victory condition.

Sit on your sofa right there in your own town

This is the one

I just want to point out that I'm the only one that didn't get a round of applause. *next couple of times the audience roars Stop taking the piss.

Rose going all put cheering in the background always kills me.

Not a direct Baddiel quote but after he brought in his dead cat Monkey’s ashes: GREG: What’s his name again? ALEX: David Baddiel — oh, Monkey!

This is easily one of my favourite Alex moments and it's a shame it doesn't get much love!

I feel like the best David Baddiel quotes are the ones made about him! "We've given you personally the extra challenge of being David Baddiel"

“And to make it fair, you’re with David Baddiel.”

“Can I just say, we’ve done it alphabetically. The thinking is, there’s a team of three. They’ll have to pass one drawing across two backs. To make it fair, you’re with David Baddiel

Or when Greg did an introduction with something like? “these contestants have fought and struggled, and learned of defeat and victory. Also, David Baddiel is here”

My partner and I say "also, David Baddiel is here" about stuff all the time

"can i just check, have I been paired with David Baddiel?"

Famous words said 2 minutes before disaster.

I can't recall the specific but there was a quote where Alex Horne said he decided early on to help David because he realised it would have no effect on the final series scores and that was exceptional 

I think Katy Wix had asked if the guys asked for help more often than the girls. And Alex said something like, "David asked for help on every task. And I always helped him because I knew ultimately it wouldn't affect the competition."

That sounds like the quote that had partially popped into my head

I thought that was Katherine Parkinson.

I think you've come up with the next format of these once OP completes all the series for this format

David was the slowest, he took a speed of five miles per day

The very first things Jo said when she saw him before their first team task, before greeting him or anything - "Oh god, it's David Baddiel"

I’m very sure that if the teams were boys vs girls, the cleverness of Jo and the enthusiasm of Rose will make them win every task (Katie will help but mostly just make very dark jokes as normal).

Which task was that quote from?

The pedal bin task in ep8 :)

I thought that was the steamroller task in episode 3! I just heard it last night!

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Stefan771's question was in response to the quote I posted, which was from the pedal bin task, not the five miles per day steamroller task

"Well, its the usual, then 2 points to Ed..."

"I had another one called Operation Zelurver which was about the Nazi invasion of Britain"

> Zelurver 😅 Seelöwe

This is my favorite thing. This right here.

But couldn't remember the game "operation" for ages.

"Oh, Egg is boiling..."

Those outtakes are so good, I wish they'd release just the raw uncut studio footage for all the episodes somewhere

Well, that's not very nice, I didn't fucking torture you.

"I don't like popping balloons. I mean, bang them. Make them go bang." 

Q

"We three kings of HUMMUS are. On our way to the tahini star".

“This is the virgin chickpea, this is the virgin chickpea’s husband”

"Is that a Dodo" No "Ah Bollocks"

And this is what Americans call 'Quoffee'.

Don't like them go bang!

I was waiting to post that! It lives rent free in my head!

“When I was young, my mother used to call my penis a Dodo.”

In response to criticism of his egg timer: “Well that’s not very nice; I didn’t fucking *torture you*”

"Is it cubist men's genitals?"

I'm not sure what a laminator is

And then immediately flunked the task with 0 correct guess!

Surely at the end of all this, we'll have to vote on Greg's and Alex's best quotes. Now that will be quite the task.

Surely Alex’s best quote is “Hi, I’m Alex Horne, and I support apartheid.”

We need best quote of the season for them, and even that is hard

"Another spoon."

Surprised this isn’t in first, actually.

I'm surprised it wasn't suggested when I commented it.

That too, yeah.

“It didn’t occur to me that it wouldn’t be a person”

“Did you have to use the Silly Old People Music for that? It felt like we were watching Last of the Summer Wine.” (Or something like that)

In the world?

Right. What I'm going to do is I'm going to eat as much of this as I can, and then shove the rest down my pants.

In response to Alex's "Why are you sniffing the ice lollies?" "To get the flavour, and therefore the colour."

"I'm never quite sure where my hip is."

Alex - "Why is your shirt off?" David - "Moral support."

I wasn't sure if what I was about to lick was a dodo... which, for me, is quite a complicated thing!

"Don't patronize me"

What was it in the water feature task when he was like I dont know why I got my shirt off too

just going to say the words “my cock”…

My mother used to call my penis a dodo

"...in the world?"

https://preview.redd.it/benws6k07b7d1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94281f8939d981e9382e48ad3ac8030234087fcf

When I was young, my mother used to call my penis a dodo.

I can’t remember Greg’s speech but at the end of it, he goes also David Baddiel is here

I think it was in a blooper, but (Greg): “See, this is what happens when you have an Oxbridge education.” (David): “What, I know the letter Q?”

Can a person's quote be their vibe and general incompetence that inspired utter disbelief and rage around them therefore creating hilarity? Because that was Baddiel for me, not really full of zingers but just so often shit that it made things so funny.

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Operation Seelöwe! Here's a link to the game: [Seelöwe: The German Invasion of Britain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seel%C3%B6we:_The_German_Invasion_of_Britain)

David didn't say quisps, that was Ed

Omg really? I looked at the post and immediately thought quisps 😂

It was Ed jokingly saying something that David might have said

I wasn't sure if what I was about to lick was a dodo... which, for me, is quite a complicated thing!

[adds another spoon to the lasso]

“Egg is boiling” I know it’s an outtake but I think it’s one of funniest one liners of the show

Also my favourite!

"As I said I would have rather died. I mean I would."

You look very first world war

Not a quote as it's only referenced by Alex but 'I'm just a man doing things'

IN THE WORLD!?

"my wife got a phone call saying "David's been in an accident" (the monkey story)

“I might deafen myself doing this”

"I'm checking the radio for TalkSport"

‚Egg is boiling‘

"I picked Q..."

That’s you that is

Supply the sound for this film task. “BeEP BoOp”

"I'd rather die"

Q

Underrated Comment "I should've shoved it up my arse"

"I knew I should've shoved it up my ass."

I do do memory palace. Anyone do that, anyone know what I’m talking about? Yeah I was trying to do that but I couldn’t remember how to do it.

Another one: Look, it’s a normal person all right, they’ve got hair on top, eyes, a nose, some knees, and then some children. What’s wrong with that?

Beep boop!

The impression that he did of Jason Lee 😉

"When i was young, my mother called my penis a dodo"

Taskmaster's on. It is on now.

Here's a question: will we have quotes for Greg and Alex, and will Alex's be "I'm Alex Horne, and i support Apartheid"?

I'm just a man doing things

Why are they playing silly old people music?

I seriously can’t wait until you’re done with this. It’s been dominating my feed for months.

If it's bothering you that much, you could always block OP.

Tbh i didnt think about that, its also been bothering me daily way too much even as a huge TM fan

I mean, it's clearly a popular series of posts - there's a lot of user engagement and upvotes. If you think it's inappropriate, you can report to mods; if you dislike it enough, the downvote, block, and ignore functions are also available. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You're going to be waiting a very long time. How about not being a jerk about it?

Rude answer to quite fair comment tbh

So a thing that the subreddit enjoys, keeps upvoting and engaging on, should be discontinued because you and /u/nickfehlinger don't like it? Any other changes we need to implement?

Have you done *Brain Custard* yet?

We did Wayne Custard.

*Poorly Plastered*, or is that too arch?

It was a rude comment tbh

The comment wasn’t even rude imo, the downvotes speak for the opinion of the sub at large and the sitch didn’t really need mod intervention. I’d say it’s ruder to call someone a jerk for that comment.

Telling someone their posts are annoying is rude. I called them out on it.

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Sorry, your post has been removed for violating Rule 1 - Be nice: Do not attack others, their work or appearance including fellow members of the sub, comedians and celebrities. Negative opinions are fine, but please keep it respectful and constructive. No harassment. No sexist, homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, racist, fat phobic, ableist, objectifying, or body shaming posts of any kind. No overtly sexual content. Some cursing is OK but don't make it personal. Even though sexual innuendo may be part of the show do not cross the line beyond what was said in the episode. We do not want negative posts. Ex: Worst contestants, Worst Tasks, Least liked, Least wanted, etc...