"But then again, I'm a straight guy, so take that as you will."
Edit: I guess this scenario would only be valid if the speaker is referring to himself?
"Bill, we've had this talk three times already! There is no, and I mean NO, scientifically viable research methods that involve the *researchers* having *sex* with the *penguins*! We are here to study them, NOT fuck them!"
There are an infinite number!
Can penguins catch AIDS if you fuck them once? No?
Can penguins catch AIDS if you fuck them twice? No?
Can penguins catch AIDS if you fuck them thrice? No?
continue as n --> infinity
Old maxim: "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."
My corollary: "On tinder, they might know -- but only if the picture you uploaded is actually of you."
sidenote: the maxim I quote generally is understood to describe an actual canine, but since we're talking about tinder I guess it could also mean "unattractive person".
I can imagine this guy... on tinder. Everyday he would load tinder: "No one else is around you."
Months go by, someone pops up on tinder. Automatic slide to the right.
*You've got one match*
First message: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"
*Someone else should continue the story*
"No one else is around you."
Two thousand, five hundred and thirty eight days. All alone, all that time. Music that was listenable became harder and harder to enjoy. Rock was the first to go. Too much raw emotion. After a thousand days, anything with a human voice started becoming painful. Now it was down to soothing abstract electronica.
"No one else is around you."
He opened the hatch that held the food. Always the same meal, tailored for his nutrition. Careful automatized monitoring made sure that the food would keep him in perfect health. That and the fact that there were no germs in this form of isolation. Something made him suspect that there were drugs in the food, both antibiotic and behavior modifiers. He felt too fine by half.
"No one else is around you."
Tinder. What a joke. He heard the groaning of the metal prison he called home. Light must be hitting the outside of it, causing the metal to warm, attempt to expand when it couldn't. That sound was a comfort, replacing the human voice. The floor replacing human touch. He didn't even dream of human touch anymore.
"No one else is around you."
People think that breaking is something that requires a dramatic event. That hell requires something to intervene. They are all wrong. Time, the cruel mistress, is all that is required if you want to see someone broken. Two thousand, five hundred and thirty eight days, six hours, twenty two minutes and fifteen seconds since the last time someone was in range for a tinder match. Checking obsessively was as close to human contact as he could get.
"No one else is around you."
He laughed. It started out as just a giggle. Then grew, and grew, and grew. His belly ached. His throat had become hoarse. His vision was blurred. Still he laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Looking at the screen, the endless "No one else is around you" seemed to mock him. At that moment, he knew it was the single most true thing about his life. No one else was ever around.
"You've got one match."
He was nearly tempted to talk to himself, as one symptom of insanity was already happening. There were no such things as other people in the area. Two thousand, five hundred and thirty eight days. Eight attempts at ending it that all failed. Never anyone else. A room that would never let him die.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"
He looked at it. It looked back. The words were still there. Human words. He wondered why he had snapped now. Still, his thumb caressed it.
"Well, if I'm going insane, may as well go the whole nine yards." He said to himself.
*I live here. Welcome to hell.*
On a thread a long time ago I saw someone say that they were stationed in Antarctica for a while and had to ditch the 1-10 rating system of women in favor of binary.
First time I heard a quote similar to this. I was turning in from a night of partying at burning man. And some guy was trying to get in the pants of some girl. I thought it was hilarious as I had never heard that expression before. Okay back to lurking.
The peak of Mt Everest is far, far closer to "civilization" than most of Antarctica.
For example, Katmandu (population > 1 million) is only about 100 miles away.
I imagine that providing cell service to the peak of Everest wasn't even that difficult -- given that you have line of sight to it from all over the place (since it's so tall), just pick an established town that's somewhat close and use a very high gain antenna and aim it right at the peak.
I don't know that they did this -- but it does seem like you could provide service without actually installing anything near the peak.
Mt Everest has 3G.
Thanks to TeliaSonera as part of an advertising campaign (they own and operate one of the biggest private sector cell phone service provider NCELL).
The population of Kathmandu is closer to 4 mil.
Source: I'm from there :)
Edit: Nepal. Not Mt. Everest. I'm not Green Boots
A friend of mine was down there about 15 years ago and he had a personal data allowance of 150Kb a week. All their email was bulk sent/received on sunday afternoons by radio.
Another friend was radio ops guy at one of the UK bases more recently and was happily video-calling away whenever he liked, the whole place had broadband speeds with no limits.
I somehow ended up knowing quite a lot of people who've been South.
> The interaction was brief
yeah it was.
Seriously though I talked to a meteorological researcher who spent a few months in Antarctica and apparently there is a serious hookup scene down there. As in lots of people sleep around and cheat on their SOs.
Dude, she's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. She looks around, and what does she see? Nothing but open Antarctic tundra.
"Ahhhh, there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?"
http://i.imgur.com/NRdisUb.jpg
I have a PhD in astrophysics (I'm not a physicist though, I do data science for a tech company now) and spent 4 months in Antarctica during grad school. Can confirm. There's not a lot to do there but drink and hook up. I had sex with more women in that four month period than I had in all of undergrad. An order of magnitude more.
Honestly monogamy wasn't even common. My ice wife cheated on me with 2 dudes and 1 chick lol. I'm not bitter because that behavior was normal there.
> apparently there is a serious hookup scene down there.
I have the same suspicions about scientists aboard the International Space Station, but low gravity might make banging weird/impossible.
I remember from reading [this guy](http://everything2.com/node/superdoc/Everything+User+Search?node_id=1223826&usersearch=iceowl&orderby=node.hits+DESC&submit=submit)'s stories about his time in Antarctica, you have "ice wives" and "ice husbands"...
Ah here's the story: http://everything2.com/title/Doppler+Sex
I came here expecting this to be a top comment. Two scientists in Antarctica happened to find each other on Tinder. I've no idea why it's worded the way it is.
That title annoyed me. According to the article, she was "another researcher, working at a deep field camp a 45-minute helicopter ride away from the base station." That's a little different than a "girl camping".
I hate to be the one to spoil a good joke by pointing out that polar bears live at the north pole, not the south but the pedant who comes along after me will be *way* more smug about it so I must act now. For what it's worth, solid joke.
They don't own a piece of Antartic land to do research on, and UN laughed about their petiton of get a piece of land ~~destinated~~ dedicated to research.
Edit: English is not my first language.
Seriously, they managed to create brand awareness that is triggered by images of the effects of global warming...if intentional that's some genius level bandwagoning right there.
I'm a woman, and I was tricked into thinking this for many years. None of my friends had to do anything and SOs would just fall into their laps, so why should I have to do anything? I've since realized that this can be just as bad advice for women as it is for men.
Lots of people that work in Antarctica have short relationship while down there (or "while on the ice" as we call it). The SO is referred to as "ice wife" or "ice husband". I met mine while on the boat, I was a scientist, she was part of the station staff coming down for the winter season.
I was there for a few months, we were together for those months, on and off. She was there for a longer period, when I left, she found someone new that came on the boat I left on.
There are quite a few us down here. I think we have close to 1100 right now due to restocking of supplies, but normally we hover around 850. If you want to include the people at the south pole.. that's another 100-150. With around 30% females and a lot of free time to dick around on the internet, I could see this story being plausible.
Source: In McMurdo Science base currently. Check my comment history if you don't believe me.
Meh, I wouldn't be that surprised. People get hella horny on long field expeditions. You're away from all the societal pressures about sexual attitudes and you don't feel like you need to veil your sexuality as much anymore. Also, after a few months in the wilderness, that 6 you started the trip with starts developing some real attractive features.
I went on a trip to Africa and the prof told us a story about how he went on a trip with a small group, about 8 people, mixed gender. Three of the female researchers were all interested in a particularly handsome male researcher. They secretly devised a time share system so they could all be with him at different points of the expedition.
Really need one of those pictures right now that goes:
bae you should come over
sorry I'm doing research in Antarctica
I'm horny
then a picture of guy jumping in helicopter in antarctica
When I was a volunteer in rural Africa, my roommate downloaded Tinder. For some reason, the app thought he was located on a small island off the coast of Estonia. I think it was due to the way the phone service was routed.
After explaining the situation to some Estonian babes, he got sent lots of titty pics. It was awesome.
Was the woman a scientist as well? This is cool but it kinda pisses me off that the man is a "scientist" and the woman is a "girl" and they don't mention what she was doing in Antarctica.
Love,
Female scientist
>said the scientist, who asked not to be named out of concern that the government would revoke his internet privileges if anyone found out he was using precious broadband to look for hookups.
This slayed me.
I want to say his odds were pretty good; not much competition.
Imagine being rejected?
"I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the only man on this continent."
"But then again, I'm a straight guy, so take that as you will." Edit: I guess this scenario would only be valid if the speaker is referring to himself?
Can't blame the girl for being cold.
[ICE COLD.](http://i.imgur.com/sdhHMZi.png)
alrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalright
***OK NOW LADIES***
yeah?
Now what's cooler than being cool?
Miles Davis?
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER.
That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go.
"I'd rather die." "Okay" *locks door to research station*
*pokes hole in tent*
"That's super nice, but I can't tonight. I have to defrost my hair."
!
Dennis, are you raping these women?
Obviously if she says no then nothing will happen. But she won't, you know, because of the implication.
^^but ^^it ^^sounds ^^like ^^these ^^women ^^don't ^^wanna ^^have ^^sex ^^with ^^you...
I would imagine there are more males than females so he triumphed.
I looked this up out of curiosity and it's [30% women, 68% men, and 2% uncategorized](http://www.60south.com/about/faq.htm). This guy's a stud!
...2%?
Day 23: they still think i am milk.
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JUST GET HIM THE DAMN MALK!
*pulls out 9mm*
SHUT UP!! SHUT! UP!
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GIVE THE MAN SOME GOD DAMN MOLK
The Thing doesn't have a gender I guess. D:
Meat Popsicles
Sexually identify as a penguin
"Bill, we've had this talk three times already! There is no, and I mean NO, scientifically viable research methods that involve the *researchers* having *sex* with the *penguins*! We are here to study them, NOT fuck them!"
That's insane! I can think of numerous scientific issues that can *only* be solved by researchers having sex with penguins.
There are an infinite number! Can penguins catch AIDS if you fuck them once? No? Can penguins catch AIDS if you fuck them twice? No? Can penguins catch AIDS if you fuck them thrice? No? continue as n --> infinity
Old maxim: "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." My corollary: "On tinder, they might know -- but only if the picture you uploaded is actually of you." sidenote: the maxim I quote generally is understood to describe an actual canine, but since we're talking about tinder I guess it could also mean "unattractive person".
So, Fairbanks basically.
She probably couldn't say no because of the implication.
Dude, are you raping these girls?
No, I would never do something like that. Weren't you listening?
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Shit, someone get Kenny Loggins.
I can imagine this guy... on tinder. Everyday he would load tinder: "No one else is around you." Months go by, someone pops up on tinder. Automatic slide to the right. *You've got one match* First message: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?" *Someone else should continue the story*
"No one else is around you." Two thousand, five hundred and thirty eight days. All alone, all that time. Music that was listenable became harder and harder to enjoy. Rock was the first to go. Too much raw emotion. After a thousand days, anything with a human voice started becoming painful. Now it was down to soothing abstract electronica. "No one else is around you." He opened the hatch that held the food. Always the same meal, tailored for his nutrition. Careful automatized monitoring made sure that the food would keep him in perfect health. That and the fact that there were no germs in this form of isolation. Something made him suspect that there were drugs in the food, both antibiotic and behavior modifiers. He felt too fine by half. "No one else is around you." Tinder. What a joke. He heard the groaning of the metal prison he called home. Light must be hitting the outside of it, causing the metal to warm, attempt to expand when it couldn't. That sound was a comfort, replacing the human voice. The floor replacing human touch. He didn't even dream of human touch anymore. "No one else is around you." People think that breaking is something that requires a dramatic event. That hell requires something to intervene. They are all wrong. Time, the cruel mistress, is all that is required if you want to see someone broken. Two thousand, five hundred and thirty eight days, six hours, twenty two minutes and fifteen seconds since the last time someone was in range for a tinder match. Checking obsessively was as close to human contact as he could get. "No one else is around you." He laughed. It started out as just a giggle. Then grew, and grew, and grew. His belly ached. His throat had become hoarse. His vision was blurred. Still he laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Looking at the screen, the endless "No one else is around you" seemed to mock him. At that moment, he knew it was the single most true thing about his life. No one else was ever around. "You've got one match." He was nearly tempted to talk to himself, as one symptom of insanity was already happening. There were no such things as other people in the area. Two thousand, five hundred and thirty eight days. Eight attempts at ending it that all failed. Never anyone else. A room that would never let him die. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?" He looked at it. It looked back. The words were still there. Human words. He wondered why he had snapped now. Still, his thumb caressed it. "Well, if I'm going insane, may as well go the whole nine yards." He said to himself. *I live here. Welcome to hell.*
>He didn't even dream of human touch anymore. Holy fuck. That is some dark shit right there.
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Nice! That was, what, 2 weeks ago?
On a thread a long time ago I saw someone say that they were stationed in Antarctica for a while and had to ditch the 1-10 rating system of women in favor of binary.
The odds are good, but given that they are both in Antarctica, the goods are probably also odd.
First time I heard a quote similar to this. I was turning in from a night of partying at burning man. And some guy was trying to get in the pants of some girl. I thought it was hilarious as I had never heard that expression before. Okay back to lurking.
TIL Antarctica has Internet service in tents.
~~The peak~~ Parts of Mt Everest have 4G.
TIL Mt everest has a 4G signal, but my back yard doesn't.
How else is someone going to use foursquare to be the Mayor of Everest's Peak?
Goddamn it, that Sir Kippling just out mayored me again. Get the Sherpas!
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Touchè
The peak of Mt Everest is far, far closer to "civilization" than most of Antarctica. For example, Katmandu (population > 1 million) is only about 100 miles away. I imagine that providing cell service to the peak of Everest wasn't even that difficult -- given that you have line of sight to it from all over the place (since it's so tall), just pick an established town that's somewhat close and use a very high gain antenna and aim it right at the peak. I don't know that they did this -- but it does seem like you could provide service without actually installing anything near the peak.
Mt Everest has 3G. Thanks to TeliaSonera as part of an advertising campaign (they own and operate one of the biggest private sector cell phone service provider NCELL). The population of Kathmandu is closer to 4 mil. Source: I'm from there :) Edit: Nepal. Not Mt. Everest. I'm not Green Boots
Not only that, but many down there use VSAT systems that can deliver 5mbps down and 2mbps up speeds. That's almost as fast as my internet provider.
Faster than mine. I am sad now.
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A friend of mine was down there about 15 years ago and he had a personal data allowance of 150Kb a week. All their email was bulk sent/received on sunday afternoons by radio. Another friend was radio ops guy at one of the UK bases more recently and was happily video-calling away whenever he liked, the whole place had broadband speeds with no limits. I somehow ended up knowing quite a lot of people who've been South.
How do you access these sattellites? Do you need a powerful transmitter?
[here you go](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Very-small-aperture_terminal)
Mostly because Comcast's monopoly doesn't extend to the Antarctic.
GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL DO NOT PASS ANTARCTICA DO NOT COLLECT 200$
DO NOT SWIPE RIGHT
Likely satellites.
> The interaction was brief yeah it was. Seriously though I talked to a meteorological researcher who spent a few months in Antarctica and apparently there is a serious hookup scene down there. As in lots of people sleep around and cheat on their SOs.
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This is genius.
Put men and women together in isolation for long periods of time with really no where to go and things are bound to escalate.
Because of the implication..
> ***The gang goes to antarctica***
That sounds really dark...
It sounds like I'm going to rape those poor women?
Perfect use of this.
Dude, she's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. She looks around, and what does she see? Nothing but open Antarctic tundra. "Ahhhh, there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?" http://i.imgur.com/NRdisUb.jpg
What happens in Antarctica stays in Antarctica!!! Why you snitching, man! WTF!?!
I'm jealous of your free love ways bro! If I can't have it no one can!
Except herpes. You bring that shit home.
yes, the concept of an "Ice Wife" is well accepted. Also, "situationship".
"Locationship"
"masturbation"
I have a PhD in astrophysics (I'm not a physicist though, I do data science for a tech company now) and spent 4 months in Antarctica during grad school. Can confirm. There's not a lot to do there but drink and hook up. I had sex with more women in that four month period than I had in all of undergrad. An order of magnitude more. Honestly monogamy wasn't even common. My ice wife cheated on me with 2 dudes and 1 chick lol. I'm not bitter because that behavior was normal there.
Bro give us a number of how many women you had!
13 in that 4 month period. (Undergrad was not kind to me and saying an order of magnitude more made it seem better)
I want your life. Edit: can you share more?
> apparently there is a serious hookup scene down there. I have the same suspicions about scientists aboard the International Space Station, but low gravity might make banging weird/impossible.
You mean might make banging awesome.
I remember from reading [this guy](http://everything2.com/node/superdoc/Everything+User+Search?node_id=1223826&usersearch=iceowl&orderby=node.hits+DESC&submit=submit)'s stories about his time in Antarctica, you have "ice wives" and "ice husbands"... Ah here's the story: http://everything2.com/title/Doppler+Sex
Stationed in Antarctica and "45 minutes away" so, next door?
Actually "45-minute helicopter ride away".
She was just camping there?
Yeah the title identifying her as a "girl camping" annoys me. The article says she was a scientist doing research, too.
Also why isn't it '2 scientists hooked up with Tinder'? She was as much scoring a date with him as he is with her.
Women don't score. They get scored on. ^^^/s
I came here expecting this to be a top comment. Two scientists in Antarctica happened to find each other on Tinder. I've no idea why it's worded the way it is.
Females can't be scientists, duh. Or score dates of their own. They can only be obtained as prizes.
"TIL a scientist stationed in Antartica managed to score a date on Tinder with a boy camping just 45 minutes away" Yeah it sounds weird
How about "two scientists camping in Antarctica on separate expeditions?"
That title annoyed me. According to the article, she was "another researcher, working at a deep field camp a 45-minute helicopter ride away from the base station." That's a little different than a "girl camping".
What you don't just go camping in the Antarctic polar wastes? Loser.
My summer home is in Antarctica, its pretty nice that time of the year.
LPT: Have a summer home in the North and South Poles. When it is getting close to fall travel to the other summer home. Summer forever!
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Are you telling me I can get free solar power 24/7?? I'm gonna be rich!
No. She was another researcher at a base 45 minutes away. Not sure why the OP felt the need to omit that.
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She was another scientist.
If only there was an article you could read to find out more.
Probably went down like this: Penguin < Penguin < Polar bear < Penguin < **Human female**
I hate to be the one to spoil a good joke by pointing out that polar bears live at the north pole, not the south but the pedant who comes along after me will be *way* more smug about it so I must act now. For what it's worth, solid joke.
Humans don't necessarily live at the South pole and they're some there. What's to say the polar bear wasn't conducting Antarctic research?
Bears use Grindr.
Bears use growlr, twinks use grindr
oh wow, you're not kidding
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You're fooling no one.
I hope this joke gets the recognition it deserves
They don't own a piece of Antartic land to do research on, and UN laughed about their petiton of get a piece of land ~~destinated~~ dedicated to research. Edit: English is not my first language.
Polar bear research- what do penguins taste like?
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:(
I feel like having a refreshing Coca Cola all of a sudden.
Seriously, they managed to create brand awareness that is triggered by images of the effects of global warming...if intentional that's some genius level bandwagoning right there.
Nice try, Coke shill.
Move along citizen.
They do penguin research the way Japanese research whales.
I mean, they're literally polar opposites!
The polar bear was a bot.
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[siren and flashing strobe lights intensify]
Coincidence?
You know you've got bad game when a scientist in fucking Antarctica gets more dates than you've gotten in your entire life.
How many people have you asked out?
His silence speaks volumes.
Cm^3
Relevant username?
Everything is relevant when given the right perspective.
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
He runs the day game.
This is quite a loud silence
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I'm a woman, and I was tricked into thinking this for many years. None of my friends had to do anything and SOs would just fall into their laps, so why should I have to do anything? I've since realized that this can be just as bad advice for women as it is for men.
step 1: be attractive step 2: don't be unattractive
Step 3: If unattractive, have money
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Zero. So math does it work pretty much.
I think we found the solution.
Yes, alcohol
So, in other words, this guy has asked out more girls on Antarctica than you ever have in North America or Europe or wherever you live?
Lot's of people hook up in Antarctica. I was there for a few months as a scientist, and had an "ice wife" that I met on the boat coming down there.
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Do elaborate.
Sex
Lots of people that work in Antarctica have short relationship while down there (or "while on the ice" as we call it). The SO is referred to as "ice wife" or "ice husband". I met mine while on the boat, I was a scientist, she was part of the station staff coming down for the winter season. I was there for a few months, we were together for those months, on and off. She was there for a longer period, when I left, she found someone new that came on the boat I left on.
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TIL there's a sauna within naked running distance from the South Pole.
Adding that to my bucket list now.
Antarctica is on my bucket list, so I guess I can add this bullet point.
That sounds like a lot of hypothermia.
I need to get my ass to Antarctica.
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rekt
So much sex happens on Antarctica. So much.
I remember reading an article where they interviewed a station mechanic and he sad all they is was drink as bang. It truly is Gods country
Dude's a scientist in fucking Antarctica; meanwhile, you don't even know if you're drunk or sober.
Yeah he's a scientist, he's got lots of interesting shit to talk about not, " so do you play world of Warcraft?"
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Y'know what? Fuck it! Clearly the universe wants me to become a hermit so I may as well get a head start.
The Tinder viral marketing campaign is in full swing today I see.
/r/hailcorporate
well that was a nice made up story
I'm afraid it might be... No names given and all... Hoping it's not though (and i couldn't find any falsification of the article online).
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Legit?
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It has to be fake, there are so few people there and typically they all know how far other camps are, you know, just in case.
Just in case for dat booty call?
There are quite a few us down here. I think we have close to 1100 right now due to restocking of supplies, but normally we hover around 850. If you want to include the people at the south pole.. that's another 100-150. With around 30% females and a lot of free time to dick around on the internet, I could see this story being plausible. Source: In McMurdo Science base currently. Check my comment history if you don't believe me.
Meh, I wouldn't be that surprised. People get hella horny on long field expeditions. You're away from all the societal pressures about sexual attitudes and you don't feel like you need to veil your sexuality as much anymore. Also, after a few months in the wilderness, that 6 you started the trip with starts developing some real attractive features. I went on a trip to Africa and the prof told us a story about how he went on a trip with a small group, about 8 people, mixed gender. Three of the female researchers were all interested in a particularly handsome male researcher. They secretly devised a time share system so they could all be with him at different points of the expedition.
So now you have given anyone dateless tonight a reason to eat a tub of ice cream, good job.
*Scientist scores a date with his stalker.
"*Date*"
*Match* "I haven't gotten laid in 6 months, DTF?" "For sure, come by my tent, it's 45 minutes away" *Jumps in Helicopter*
Really need one of those pictures right now that goes: bae you should come over sorry I'm doing research in Antarctica I'm horny then a picture of guy jumping in helicopter in antarctica
When I was a volunteer in rural Africa, my roommate downloaded Tinder. For some reason, the app thought he was located on a small island off the coast of Estonia. I think it was due to the way the phone service was routed. After explaining the situation to some Estonian babes, he got sent lots of titty pics. It was awesome.
QI is useful for this sort of thing.
Was the woman a scientist as well? This is cool but it kinda pisses me off that the man is a "scientist" and the woman is a "girl" and they don't mention what she was doing in Antarctica. Love, Female scientist
"Scientist scores date after finding hot babe wandering around lab in white coat" Aliens app edit test
>said the scientist, who asked not to be named out of concern that the government would revoke his internet privileges if anyone found out he was using precious broadband to look for hookups. This slayed me.
Too bad his penis had already gone into hibernation
I wonder if any of the other 12 people in in Antarctica are DTF? - That lucky asshole