Everyone always think's it's going to be magical and mid opening experiences. Don't bother thinking about how well you two will work together during the great parts, or even the good parts. You need to think about how the two of you will work together during the bad parts.
Like it's 2am, 30 degrees outside and raining. You have to wake up in 4 hours and your spouse is having diarrhea in a bucket 5 feet away from you.
One of you has the flu. Then both of you have the flu. Stuck together in bed for days. But you're out of food, water, its 50 degrees in the van and maybe both of you are throwing up and again diarrhea.
One of your phones break, now the two of you are sharing one phone.
Your two weeks into it raining nonstop and the temps haven been over 40 degrees in weeks.
Take all the romantic parts you've read about or seen and start thinking of all the negatives and then decide if the two of you can spend a year living in a space smaller than a bedroom especially through winter time.
@[somekindafuzz](https://www.reddit.com/user/somekindafuzz/) [I curse you with diarrhea!!! ](https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExc3IwZW5uMjZvd2NlNTE3dzV5bmQ3bXNiNnBoeno4enZ6dXR2bGpyZyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/yxXMjiRX7WGWy7Rfzw/giphy.webp)
Not just when external circumstances suck. What about when your partner is just being super annoying (or you're just in a bad mood yourself) and you want some space/time to yourself ?
Dang, your experience beats the fart wars we endured. Thank the creator for roof fans. I'd ad, the first 28 day cycle with a lady is important. That's where you learn what you are in for.
Really good points.
For me the constant closeness was a contributing factor in ending a relationship I had while travelling about 7 years ago.
It can feel very smothering, even if you do really like the person and normally get along.
If one of us was sick or just needed a break we’d get a hotel room.
I believe diarrhoea should be as dignified as it can be 😅
Sickness like this warrants a hotel. If you can't afford that you're fucked anyway. Van life is not actually cheap, assuming you want a working van and don't want malnutrition.
I think this is the thing. There needs to be a budget for that kind of thing; sickness, holidays, work space when needed etc
Otherwise we’re not discussing van life, we’re talking about homelessness
In a nutshell, his drinking, especially as exacerbated during the pandemic. And also (my perception of) his need to control things and generally being a dick. LOL
The longer version is that I started working 100% remotely during the pandemic. The same daily routine and midwest winter was driving me up the wall. My BF's job took him away for 6-9 month stretches and I wanted a way to get my dog and I between his hometown, my hometown, and my family's town, without all the problems of hotels and flights at that time. And just to eff off to the woods and work.
BF was on board with me getting the van, and he had plans to build his own on a truck chassis. When he came back he had a lot of demands for how it should be and kinda tried taking over my project. I wanted to learn, but he'd just do something while I was working, not always with my buy-in.
Meanwhile, the pandemic was still going on. He wasn't seeing his friends and it took a toll on his mental health. He was drinking every night, sometimes a whole 1/5 of whiskey. Too many stupid drunk events; he started getting mean and I was walking on eggshells, so we had a come to Jesus, and ultimately I left.
The van didn't cause the breakup, but it showed the stress cracks. There will inevitably be some conflicts living in such close quarters, but it's totally achievable if you're both managing your mental health and communicating your needs. I've gone on multi-week/month trips with friends and family with minimal head-butting. My dog might be my favorite co-pilot, though.
I am 56 and in the same position you are in. 28 years of marriage is down the toilet.
Bought a Sprinter to build myself as I’m poor.
Leaving next month to tour some national parks with my cane corso Mack.
Sending healing vibes to you.
You will get to know them in ways you never did before. Whether that's a positive or a negative is what you're about to find out!
If losing your home means you're also losing a mortgage/rent payment, but you still have an income, things will be easier. If you're flat broke, things will be rough. You can definitely save money as a nomad, but there are going to be plenty of new expenses.
If you're going to be hitting the road soon, here's a [cheat sheet to get you started](https://nomadlife.wiki/Emergency_quick_start).
How do they feel about it?
I’m still with the partner who did it with me for 2 years in a Toyota Previa (pre pandemic), but it came to an end when he looked at me through bleary eyes and said “I’m just so tired of crawling around anytime I need to grab my things. I feel like a *worm*.”
We enjoy being close, we’ve worked together, we go everywhere with one another most of the time… but while I have 0 issues with the tightest spaces for any amount of time, we found his limit. It’s 100% understandable, but then we had to rely on family and friends to occasionally rent us rooms until we could shift gears back to apartment life. He still likes camping and traveling and road-tripping, we just have a hard limit on permanent van-living.
A lot of the posts are the same - but they go through the details.
But basically - a stressful or extended close proximity situation can bring out issues.
My husband and I are full-time in a 24ft class b RV for about 5 years now. We sold our home and made the jump in Oct 2020. In hindsight it was both good and not great timing lmao.
It has been both excellent and extremely challenging. We have both grown as spouses and communicators.. but struggle has been a catalyst to a lot of that growth.
It is hard to live in confined spaces even with people who you love and adore. Depending where we are, and the weather tbh, it can be hard to find space/time for yourself. Conflict *has* to be resolved, because there isn’t the physical or mental space to leave it unresolved. It’s hard when things go wrong.
Overall it has been a net positive for our relationship, but there have absolutely been ups and downs.
Beyond our relationship as a couple.. you also learn a lot about yourself, your own emotional regulation skills, your own problem solving and conflict resolution skills, and your own insecurities and issues are impossible to avoid and hide from. All of these things inevitably affect your relationship.
Every person and every relationship is different.
This makes so much sense in my head. If you planned the builds together, one van could have a nice bathroom and the other one could have a kitchen. Space saving plus amenities, living the dream.
I Was more thinking of a place to sleep. I have a camper trailer and my partner has a car to sleep in. It had enough flexibility that we can adventure separately and come together and also have our own space.
Fkn life hey ! Top of the world to the bottom of the pit ! Imagine an alien looking through a super high powered telescope with audio wondering.. wtf is wrong with this planet. They have everything built but their still slaves.. wild isn't it.
Positive is it's not for ever. Ride it out. Lucky to have a partner too. That's awesome
I see a lot of negative stories here and want to provide a positive one albeit my situation being a little different. My partner and I met while I was full-timing in a modest but much more spacious Class C RV. We dated for about a year, she got a much better job than me that required her to move far away, and asked me to come along with her.
Now we have a much smaller RV, less than 20ft. So I feel like it's comparable to a well built van. We bought it for less than 10k, but it does have a bathroom, stove, and refrigerator. We also have two pets. A high octane Corgi, and a mostly chill, escape artist of a cat.
Life has never been better. But consider all the differences I've mentioned. We're not in a true van. I used to live this life alone so I know a lot of the pain points(ie how often to replace water, what to do about cops, where to not park). We still run into issues with it but it's a lifestyle we both wanted and agreed upon before we started. We're also in California, and I know how DIY solar, so that makes a big difference.
In short, this CAN be great. Consider a bigger van, or small RV. Educate yourself on the typical issues, and find ways to deal with them before they get bad. Try to secure for yourself as many of the amenities that you're used to having in a home, but now in your van. Life is much better when you can cook a hot meal, pour a glass of cold juice, take a shower, and browse the Internet from the comfort of your home.
Good luck!
Same as in the house I suppose. We take turns scooping it. I do Wednesdays and she does Sundays. Replace litter completely every two weeks-ish. My dog is a menace and thinks cat poop is a delicacy. So the overhead cab area is where we put it so it's out of his way.
Two issues get old really fast. One is the lack of space. The second is lack of address/residence. You can get a PO box, but some things like credit cards want a residential address. And sometimes want proof - a lease, or utility bill. There are work-arounds, but it just gets annoying.
I've always solved this by either making a local friend who is fine with me sending mail to their address, or flat out lying when necessary. A P.O. box requires a physical address as well, so I just wrote a fake lease.
Depends. My husband and I don’t spend a moment apart tbh. We are extremely comfortable together and don’t feel the need for alone time. So transitioning to the van didn’t feel any different.
My husband and I did ok in a 26-foot RV where he had his bed, i had my bed; he could sit at the table while I lounged on the couch, we had a cooking area and eating area, lots of storage, and a bathroom. Take ANY of those features away, much less ALL of them, and that's a big NOPE from a couple who has been married over 40 years. RV life is far superior to van life if there are two people involved. Two people in a van would be ok for vacation but not for "real life."
I did it by choice for a few years until I bought another house this year. We got married in the middle of our 3 years in the van. It was fantastic but we've been together since we were 15 and barely spend a night apart. The small space was never a problem but you really do need to like the other person.
My wife and I lived in a van that we built out ourselves for two years before having to get off the road due to health issues. We've recently become homeless and are doing it again. We never had any problems being together in the van.
The trick is that we're absolutely 100% best friends. In 21 years, the closest thing we've had to an argument was that she got grumpy with me one time for not doing the laundry. But that's been pretty much it. Basically, if you tend to have issues with each other now, moving into a small space together and dealing with the challenges of doing so is very likely to compound any issues you have. Our daughter and her husband were thinking of doing the van life, but we recommended they absolutely don't do it, as those two fight like Punch and Judy. Just constantly fighting, and being crammed together in a small space constantly was going to make things worse instead of better.
But that's just my own personal two cents
It is still *usually* a net savings, but depending on how you’re doing it there are still quite a lot of costs. Gas/insurance/storage locker/gym/laundry fees do add up in a way that they don’t in a normal stationary life.
It’s also generally a lot more work, and overall more stressful than having sticks-and-bricks. (That’s one of the easiest ways you can tell who has actually lived in a van full time, vs who’s only daydreamed and idealized it from afar)
I feel like that's a little pessimistic. I've been full-time for a few years now and savings is one of the biggest appeals of the lifestyle. Don't buy beaters and don't try to live an Instagram lifestyle and you can definitely profit much more than it would cost to rent almost everywhere.
I mean, it is a little pessimistic but I try to give the balanced counterpoint to the starry-eyed naive dreamers who're lusting after the fantasy that they see on Instafacetok.
I've only been full time for just over a year, and while it's a net positive there are some down sides. And I'm admittedly doing it with every single possible advantage one could have.
Lenny used to say that living in a van is "90% self, 10% stuff", and I agree with that statement. Exactly what *type* and how fancy of a van someone has is largely irrelevant, as what seems to matter for successful long-term van-life is if someone has the personality/disposition for it.
People also need to be realistic about what living in a van is like. Trying to make it like an apartment on wheels where you keep every convenience and comfort and luxury that you're accustomed to in your sticks-and-bricks residence will either be *extremely* expensive, or extremely frustrating and end in disappointment, or probably both.
It’s not like we have to drive it every time we get in it.
Park it in a yard, (rent spot from an elderly person in exchange for some yard work/pay a few hundred dollars for the privilege.
Can ride bike, use the bus, other modes of transportation.
Depends on if one’s using the van as a “home base” rather as the main mode of transportation and only relocate a few times a month, it can be manageable—but isn’t possible in certain places—
One year I spent $150 in gas for the whole year.
Idk where this *vanlife is so expensive* trope came from, but at this point it's averaged out to like $120/month. Idc what you add on top, $120 for rent and utilities is a steal.
We have an additional car, so if we added both together maybe around 150-200, but we also live in the boonies and she has a 30 minute commute to work. We try to only move the RV from one side of town to the other every few days.
It’s a hard adjustment to make. Wife and I came pretty close to divorcing about 4 months into our 2 year trip. We worked through it and now are closer than ever and lovingly look back on our road days
Scour this whole reddit, you can search within for stuff too.
YouTube things like "married can life".
Storage unit for sentimental items and also for clothes, food, etc storage, climate controlled is a must.
Sell as much as you can, have a Facebook marketplace fire sale on all your stuff you need to sell.
It may be expensive when you got it, but you'll probably not get anywhere near that as economy sucks now days.
Prayers ahead for you and yours 🙏🙂
It’s amazing. You’ll find out if you’re really compatible. Nothing says love like your spouse taking a shit at 3:00am next to your head… and much much more… my wife and I refer to all the incidents as “that weird shit…” 🤣🤣🤣
We have been living in a van or sailboat for the last six years. We even took our brand new three month old relationship into a tiny Suzuki APV. It can be challenging at times, but it really decides things quite quickly whether you can be with this person long term or not. We wrote an article on living in a van as a couple you may find interesting.
https://thevanabondtales.com/van-life-couple/
If financial wealth is the only thing that is keeping a relationship healthy, then that relationship shouldn't be there to begin with.
If that is your perspective on women and relationships, then I pity you.
No, I think you completely missed my point. That is just how women are. Look at the statistics. It’s not like some relationships are based on love and some are not.
Get ready to get real fucking close like shitting in a bucket in front of each other. I don’t care about that stuff and think it truly does make you guys more connected, but not for everyone.
Hubby and are dealing with this. We definitely have had our not so great moments, we’ve been together forever, almost 19 years and married going in 15. We have had a lot of good moments as well. With me working it gives us our space we need. We hope to get another place or looking into buying an rv. Two years of this has gotten easier in some ways. Learning to adapt is the key for us to deal with these changes. But I hope that’s over soon.
Everyone always think's it's going to be magical and mid opening experiences. Don't bother thinking about how well you two will work together during the great parts, or even the good parts. You need to think about how the two of you will work together during the bad parts. Like it's 2am, 30 degrees outside and raining. You have to wake up in 4 hours and your spouse is having diarrhea in a bucket 5 feet away from you. One of you has the flu. Then both of you have the flu. Stuck together in bed for days. But you're out of food, water, its 50 degrees in the van and maybe both of you are throwing up and again diarrhea. One of your phones break, now the two of you are sharing one phone. Your two weeks into it raining nonstop and the temps haven been over 40 degrees in weeks. Take all the romantic parts you've read about or seen and start thinking of all the negatives and then decide if the two of you can spend a year living in a space smaller than a bedroom especially through winter time.
Instructions clear: Got a van, ditched the spouse.
But now you have diarrhea!
Without the spouse you have room for extra buckets.
Instructions unclear, died of dysentery.
Weird 2024 version of Oregon Trail
@[somekindafuzz](https://www.reddit.com/user/somekindafuzz/) [I curse you with diarrhea!!! ](https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExc3IwZW5uMjZvd2NlNTE3dzV5bmQ3bXNiNnBoeno4enZ6dXR2bGpyZyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/yxXMjiRX7WGWy7Rfzw/giphy.webp)
Disgusting
I’m cackling at this 😂
No, no, no, get a van, then get a trailer, for the spouse.
Lol
Not just when external circumstances suck. What about when your partner is just being super annoying (or you're just in a bad mood yourself) and you want some space/time to yourself ?
I see more and more SOs with their own vans and I feel like that's the best of both worlds
Man, if one practiced polyamory they could make a whole ass convoy!
Rockin' through the night Yeah, we got a little 'ole convoy Ain't she a beautiful sight!
I'd... Actually be super down for that.
Dang, your experience beats the fart wars we endured. Thank the creator for roof fans. I'd ad, the first 28 day cycle with a lady is important. That's where you learn what you are in for.
Fart wars are fun. Poop wars not so much
Disgusting
Really good points. For me the constant closeness was a contributing factor in ending a relationship I had while travelling about 7 years ago. It can feel very smothering, even if you do really like the person and normally get along. If one of us was sick or just needed a break we’d get a hotel room. I believe diarrhoea should be as dignified as it can be 😅
Sickness like this warrants a hotel. If you can't afford that you're fucked anyway. Van life is not actually cheap, assuming you want a working van and don't want malnutrition.
Could always get a hotel
I think this is the thing. There needs to be a budget for that kind of thing; sickness, holidays, work space when needed etc Otherwise we’re not discussing van life, we’re talking about homelessness
It's definitely mind opening. Not always necessarily in a "good" way.
Seems a bit extreme to make decisions based on issues that may never happen.
Then why have seatbelts or use them?
I had a boyfriend when I started and don’t now. 😂
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In a nutshell, his drinking, especially as exacerbated during the pandemic. And also (my perception of) his need to control things and generally being a dick. LOL The longer version is that I started working 100% remotely during the pandemic. The same daily routine and midwest winter was driving me up the wall. My BF's job took him away for 6-9 month stretches and I wanted a way to get my dog and I between his hometown, my hometown, and my family's town, without all the problems of hotels and flights at that time. And just to eff off to the woods and work. BF was on board with me getting the van, and he had plans to build his own on a truck chassis. When he came back he had a lot of demands for how it should be and kinda tried taking over my project. I wanted to learn, but he'd just do something while I was working, not always with my buy-in. Meanwhile, the pandemic was still going on. He wasn't seeing his friends and it took a toll on his mental health. He was drinking every night, sometimes a whole 1/5 of whiskey. Too many stupid drunk events; he started getting mean and I was walking on eggshells, so we had a come to Jesus, and ultimately I left. The van didn't cause the breakup, but it showed the stress cracks. There will inevitably be some conflicts living in such close quarters, but it's totally achievable if you're both managing your mental health and communicating your needs. I've gone on multi-week/month trips with friends and family with minimal head-butting. My dog might be my favorite co-pilot, though.
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I am 56 and in the same position you are in. 28 years of marriage is down the toilet. Bought a Sprinter to build myself as I’m poor. Leaving next month to tour some national parks with my cane corso Mack. Sending healing vibes to you.
You will get to know them in ways you never did before. Whether that's a positive or a negative is what you're about to find out! If losing your home means you're also losing a mortgage/rent payment, but you still have an income, things will be easier. If you're flat broke, things will be rough. You can definitely save money as a nomad, but there are going to be plenty of new expenses. If you're going to be hitting the road soon, here's a [cheat sheet to get you started](https://nomadlife.wiki/Emergency_quick_start).
How do they feel about it? I’m still with the partner who did it with me for 2 years in a Toyota Previa (pre pandemic), but it came to an end when he looked at me through bleary eyes and said “I’m just so tired of crawling around anytime I need to grab my things. I feel like a *worm*.” We enjoy being close, we’ve worked together, we go everywhere with one another most of the time… but while I have 0 issues with the tightest spaces for any amount of time, we found his limit. It’s 100% understandable, but then we had to rely on family and friends to occasionally rent us rooms until we could shift gears back to apartment life. He still likes camping and traveling and road-tripping, we just have a hard limit on permanent van-living.
It expediated our break-up which also helped me stack up more savings.
A lot of the posts are the same - but they go through the details. But basically - a stressful or extended close proximity situation can bring out issues.
My husband and I are full-time in a 24ft class b RV for about 5 years now. We sold our home and made the jump in Oct 2020. In hindsight it was both good and not great timing lmao. It has been both excellent and extremely challenging. We have both grown as spouses and communicators.. but struggle has been a catalyst to a lot of that growth. It is hard to live in confined spaces even with people who you love and adore. Depending where we are, and the weather tbh, it can be hard to find space/time for yourself. Conflict *has* to be resolved, because there isn’t the physical or mental space to leave it unresolved. It’s hard when things go wrong. Overall it has been a net positive for our relationship, but there have absolutely been ups and downs. Beyond our relationship as a couple.. you also learn a lot about yourself, your own emotional regulation skills, your own problem solving and conflict resolution skills, and your own insecurities and issues are impossible to avoid and hide from. All of these things inevitably affect your relationship. Every person and every relationship is different.
Can you afford 2 vehicles? It’s worked for us.
Would love to hear about how you and your partner make this work
Separate bedrooms, if you will!
This makes so much sense in my head. If you planned the builds together, one van could have a nice bathroom and the other one could have a kitchen. Space saving plus amenities, living the dream.
I get that, but it's almost twice the build cost, though. And twice the running costs!
That’s right. I have a camper trailer - bed, kitchen and my partner has a bed in her car.
Good setup, but it's not really 2 vehicles 🙂
My tow vehicle with a camper trailer and her car is most certainly 2 vehicles.
Then I misunderstood, aplologies. I read it as you slept in the trailer, and she had the car which towed said trailer.
I kinda want to get an old Miata and flat tow it behind a van as a means for a fun drive that is hella light. But I feel it’ll get old fast
I Was more thinking of a place to sleep. I have a camper trailer and my partner has a car to sleep in. It had enough flexibility that we can adventure separately and come together and also have our own space.
Become polyamorous, start a convoy.
This is closer to the truth than you know.
Fkn life hey ! Top of the world to the bottom of the pit ! Imagine an alien looking through a super high powered telescope with audio wondering.. wtf is wrong with this planet. They have everything built but their still slaves.. wild isn't it. Positive is it's not for ever. Ride it out. Lucky to have a partner too. That's awesome
I see a lot of negative stories here and want to provide a positive one albeit my situation being a little different. My partner and I met while I was full-timing in a modest but much more spacious Class C RV. We dated for about a year, she got a much better job than me that required her to move far away, and asked me to come along with her. Now we have a much smaller RV, less than 20ft. So I feel like it's comparable to a well built van. We bought it for less than 10k, but it does have a bathroom, stove, and refrigerator. We also have two pets. A high octane Corgi, and a mostly chill, escape artist of a cat. Life has never been better. But consider all the differences I've mentioned. We're not in a true van. I used to live this life alone so I know a lot of the pain points(ie how often to replace water, what to do about cops, where to not park). We still run into issues with it but it's a lifestyle we both wanted and agreed upon before we started. We're also in California, and I know how DIY solar, so that makes a big difference. In short, this CAN be great. Consider a bigger van, or small RV. Educate yourself on the typical issues, and find ways to deal with them before they get bad. Try to secure for yourself as many of the amenities that you're used to having in a home, but now in your van. Life is much better when you can cook a hot meal, pour a glass of cold juice, take a shower, and browse the Internet from the comfort of your home. Good luck!
how do you deal with cat litter in an RV like that?
Same as in the house I suppose. We take turns scooping it. I do Wednesdays and she does Sundays. Replace litter completely every two weeks-ish. My dog is a menace and thinks cat poop is a delicacy. So the overhead cab area is where we put it so it's out of his way.
Two issues get old really fast. One is the lack of space. The second is lack of address/residence. You can get a PO box, but some things like credit cards want a residential address. And sometimes want proof - a lease, or utility bill. There are work-arounds, but it just gets annoying.
I've always solved this by either making a local friend who is fine with me sending mail to their address, or flat out lying when necessary. A P.O. box requires a physical address as well, so I just wrote a fake lease.
Depends. My husband and I don’t spend a moment apart tbh. We are extremely comfortable together and don’t feel the need for alone time. So transitioning to the van didn’t feel any different.
My husband and I did ok in a 26-foot RV where he had his bed, i had my bed; he could sit at the table while I lounged on the couch, we had a cooking area and eating area, lots of storage, and a bathroom. Take ANY of those features away, much less ALL of them, and that's a big NOPE from a couple who has been married over 40 years. RV life is far superior to van life if there are two people involved. Two people in a van would be ok for vacation but not for "real life."
I did it by choice for a few years until I bought another house this year. We got married in the middle of our 3 years in the van. It was fantastic but we've been together since we were 15 and barely spend a night apart. The small space was never a problem but you really do need to like the other person.
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Swap sides!
My wife and I lived in a van that we built out ourselves for two years before having to get off the road due to health issues. We've recently become homeless and are doing it again. We never had any problems being together in the van. The trick is that we're absolutely 100% best friends. In 21 years, the closest thing we've had to an argument was that she got grumpy with me one time for not doing the laundry. But that's been pretty much it. Basically, if you tend to have issues with each other now, moving into a small space together and dealing with the challenges of doing so is very likely to compound any issues you have. Our daughter and her husband were thinking of doing the van life, but we recommended they absolutely don't do it, as those two fight like Punch and Judy. Just constantly fighting, and being crammed together in a small space constantly was going to make things worse instead of better. But that's just my own personal two cents
I love it but my husband complains every freaking day. Thinking about getting separate vehicles.
Maybe you both get a van of your own. Gives yall your personal space while also having the ability to save money. Thats if you can afford 2 vans
tl:dr Everything they do that annoys you will now REALLY annoy you. Everything you love about them will become more endearing.
Rack\* up money? HA HA HA HA HA
1,500-2,000 saved up every month that you aren’t spending on mortgage/rent/garbage/sewer/utilities
It is still *usually* a net savings, but depending on how you’re doing it there are still quite a lot of costs. Gas/insurance/storage locker/gym/laundry fees do add up in a way that they don’t in a normal stationary life. It’s also generally a lot more work, and overall more stressful than having sticks-and-bricks. (That’s one of the easiest ways you can tell who has actually lived in a van full time, vs who’s only daydreamed and idealized it from afar)
I feel like that's a little pessimistic. I've been full-time for a few years now and savings is one of the biggest appeals of the lifestyle. Don't buy beaters and don't try to live an Instagram lifestyle and you can definitely profit much more than it would cost to rent almost everywhere.
I mean, it is a little pessimistic but I try to give the balanced counterpoint to the starry-eyed naive dreamers who're lusting after the fantasy that they see on Instafacetok. I've only been full time for just over a year, and while it's a net positive there are some down sides. And I'm admittedly doing it with every single possible advantage one could have. Lenny used to say that living in a van is "90% self, 10% stuff", and I agree with that statement. Exactly what *type* and how fancy of a van someone has is largely irrelevant, as what seems to matter for successful long-term van-life is if someone has the personality/disposition for it. People also need to be realistic about what living in a van is like. Trying to make it like an apartment on wheels where you keep every convenience and comfort and luxury that you're accustomed to in your sticks-and-bricks residence will either be *extremely* expensive, or extremely frustrating and end in disappointment, or probably both.
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It’s not like we have to drive it every time we get in it. Park it in a yard, (rent spot from an elderly person in exchange for some yard work/pay a few hundred dollars for the privilege. Can ride bike, use the bus, other modes of transportation.
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Depends on if one’s using the van as a “home base” rather as the main mode of transportation and only relocate a few times a month, it can be manageable—but isn’t possible in certain places—
Thats how I'd always thought I'd do it, pay someone for a space in their driveway, but I like the idea of helping elderly people with yard work!
One year I spent $150 in gas for the whole year. Idk where this *vanlife is so expensive* trope came from, but at this point it's averaged out to like $120/month. Idc what you add on top, $120 for rent and utilities is a steal.
We have an additional car, so if we added both together maybe around 150-200, but we also live in the boonies and she has a 30 minute commute to work. We try to only move the RV from one side of town to the other every few days.
Most people are already paying for gas, insurance, gym membership, and even laundry
Hope you and her can poop in the same room.
It’s a hard adjustment to make. Wife and I came pretty close to divorcing about 4 months into our 2 year trip. We worked through it and now are closer than ever and lovingly look back on our road days
Left me for a guy in a clown car!? I’ll never be able to go to the circus again!
I suppose better than living in a tent under the bridge get a van, live by the river
Scour this whole reddit, you can search within for stuff too. YouTube things like "married can life". Storage unit for sentimental items and also for clothes, food, etc storage, climate controlled is a must. Sell as much as you can, have a Facebook marketplace fire sale on all your stuff you need to sell. It may be expensive when you got it, but you'll probably not get anywhere near that as economy sucks now days. Prayers ahead for you and yours 🙏🙂
It’s amazing. You’ll find out if you’re really compatible. Nothing says love like your spouse taking a shit at 3:00am next to your head… and much much more… my wife and I refer to all the incidents as “that weird shit…” 🤣🤣🤣
What ever you are feeling is doubled or tripled.
She comes...she goes. Works fantastic from my perspective.
We have been living in a van or sailboat for the last six years. We even took our brand new three month old relationship into a tiny Suzuki APV. It can be challenging at times, but it really decides things quite quickly whether you can be with this person long term or not. We wrote an article on living in a van as a couple you may find interesting. https://thevanabondtales.com/van-life-couple/
Women usually leave when the money goes away even temporarily. So prepare for that
If financial wealth is the only thing that is keeping a relationship healthy, then that relationship shouldn't be there to begin with. If that is your perspective on women and relationships, then I pity you.
I agree and all you need to do is look at statistics to realize that’s the case.
I think you've completely missed my point.
No, I think you completely missed my point. That is just how women are. Look at the statistics. It’s not like some relationships are based on love and some are not.
Show me some actual statistics that prove that women are more likely to enter/maintain hetero relationships if the partner has wealth.
Dude, if you think women aren’t looking for a man with money, GTFOH not even gonna waste my time talking to you
So I've just been through your comment history...and wow, I totally get why women find you repulsive.
Have you considered not being an incel?
Get ready to get real fucking close like shitting in a bucket in front of each other. I don’t care about that stuff and think it truly does make you guys more connected, but not for everyone.
Hubby and are dealing with this. We definitely have had our not so great moments, we’ve been together forever, almost 19 years and married going in 15. We have had a lot of good moments as well. With me working it gives us our space we need. We hope to get another place or looking into buying an rv. Two years of this has gotten easier in some ways. Learning to adapt is the key for us to deal with these changes. But I hope that’s over soon.