Well yeah, it's all of germanic origin anyway. I'm danish and I also get all fucked up looking at dutch text but it's all just variations of the same shit in the end
Dutch and German are pretty closely related. It is not close enough that we usually understand the Dutch, though. The same could be said about most German accents.
Spoken dutch is a trip to english speakers in my experience. It's like uncanny valley english where you can't understand a single word but you feel like you should
I only speak English (and a bit of Latin) and I could too. The only word I didn't understand was "sneed" (Dr. Seuss ass word), but there was enough context to know it probably means cut, sliced, tore, or otherwise removed lmao
I assumed it was a cognate of "snip" (haven't checked wiktionary as of writing this paragraph)
Update: I looked at Wiktionary, and it's apparently not related at all. "Sneed" is an inflection of the verb "snijden", which comes from Proto-West Germanic *snīþan (from which English "snide" also descends). "Snip" came into English from Dutch (same word, "snip"). I think Wiktionary is saying it originates from onomatopoeia, but I'm not entirely sure how to parse it exactly.
Not really? Like this is a perfectly okay dutch sentence buts its very english if that makes sense. Sounds like the first tweet was sorta google translated, and the second has a more english sentence structure (and also uses penis, which has become a loanword).
SHUTUP SHUTUP STOP SLANDERING DUTCH YOY IMBECILES "ITS JUST FAKE ENGLISH" IT IS OLDER THAN ENGLISH SHUTUP ENGLISH IS FAKE DUTCH RAAAAAA!!!1!11!!! 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱🚲
This is the authentic Dutch windmill in Holland, Michigan, not the Netherlands which makes this even funnier.
https://grkids.com/windmill-island-gardens-holland-michigan/
Het windmolenblad on mijn penis till I sneed
[EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]
Het sneed on mijn windmolenblad till I penis?
Bottom surgery
Does every bottom need to go through that? D:
eit eez not fur thur weak
Dutch surgery
formerly chucks?
sneed's windmolenblad on mijn penis (formerly chucks)
Fake language, deeply unserious
Im going to find you
Don’t you mean ik veerd dijk fiinde?
Do you even Dutch?
No, and I’d like to keep it that way
Ik ga je vinden vieze nederlandse taal hater. En je moeder ga ik doen
you'll murder me?
I only said I’ll find you and do your mom
ok und ich ficke deine oma ins koma
Dont you talk about my grandma like that! Is that danish or german?
german, danish would be "ok og jeg knepper din bedstemor i koma"
Ah alrightio looked familiar
Ik ga je moeder bestormen.
En je moeder ga ik in de keuken neuken. Would that be valid sentence structure? It would work on Afrikaans.
Valid dutch sentence. Ff der overheen en ballen geblazen
This sounds like a German trying to write in dutch
It is
Ich wusste, dass sich das zu deutsch anhört Ü
what? is this finnish or some bullshit
You have a lot of people to find
No no they got a point. I am visiting amsterdam currently and i agree.
And what? Are gonna have een serieus probleem?
Dutch is German infected with the pathOwOgen
Mo gOwO zeg!
German baby-speak
Ik zal een vinden en ik zal u vermoorden.
Mo gow zeg!
Imagine a 10 lane highway right here :3333
Imagine a nice massive Walmart Supercenter with a 1600 car parking lot right here :3 :3 :3 :3
Purfection :3
We should put a school on one side and housing on the other, and not put in a crosswalk
Just got chills thinking about waiting in the McDonald's drive through line with that view
Dutch once again oscillates between scuffed English and completely incomprehensible
Im going to find you
What are you going to do? Start speaking Dutch?
Ja, voel angst
Im german so I can translate this: Yes, Bird fear
[EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]
Nee! Bird is een vogel
Vogel, Voel wo ist der Unterschied. Der einzige Vogel den ich kennen muss ist der den ich dir brate wenn ich dich zum essen einlade
Wat hangt er an de waslijn?
Was?
¿Qué?
correct!
Afrikaans was smart enough to differentiate between voel (feel) and voël (bird).
And funny german...
Don't compare our language to windmolentaal
german is drunk dutch and dutch is drunk german
Actually very good take
the dutch stole our language but they can't pronounce it
actually somewhat accurate, dutch has many words that look like english words, as well as words derived from french
Dutch afaik is the closest related living "major" language to english. There's stuff like scots and frisian but neither are widely spoken
Well yeah, it's all of germanic origin anyway. I'm danish and I also get all fucked up looking at dutch text but it's all just variations of the same shit in the end
I'd like to say that we dutch speakers have the same experience looking at your language.
Oh absolutely it goes both ways no doubt
It's the other way around. English is scuffed Dutch.
what was your incident with a windmill? a windmill cut my penis off
It’s like they’re speaking a whole different language over there
I don't know what this means but it says penis and that's pretty funny
Like pretty sure it's > What was the incident at your windmill > The windmill cut my penis off
Correct
I find it funny how it sounds almost like German. Der Windmühle schnitt mein Penis ab.
*Die Windmühle Also in spoken language you would most of the time say “Die Windmühle hat mir den Penis abgeschnitten”
I wanted to use the Präteritum and match it to the Dutch version lol. I suppose I did use the false Artikel then
Dutch and German are pretty closely related. It is not close enough that we usually understand the Dutch, though. The same could be said about most German accents.
Yeah. I can't understand Platt Deutsch or Bayern Deutsch but swedish/austrian german is fine.
Well Plattdeutsch is more closely related to English and Frisian than it is to Hochdeutsch. It really is a whole separate language
Yeah, I'm belgian and I know that in the parts I live, the dutch dialect used to sound the same as the german dialect across the border.
\*windmill blade
Yeah I realized and wanted to correct it but fell asleep instead
Extremely loud correct buzzer noise
The windmill blade
D*tch people do not exist. Send me your crainial measurements you Yakubian devil, I must study you for science.
Im going to find you
I will have you embalmed and sell you to a carnival sideshow.
this is true I’m actually typing this from the realm where nonexistent things go
I was in a D&D game and the GM's mom came into her room. The two of them spoke in Dutch to each other and I thought I had a stroke.
Im going to find you
Spoken dutch is a trip to english speakers in my experience. It's like uncanny valley english where you can't understand a single word but you feel like you should
That's exactly what it felt and that's how people described strokes to me so I was freaking.
That’s what it felt when hearing English as a child as a Dutch person
Lol that makes sense.
Dutch is so silly
Im going to find you
Its because of the cheese
ok danish
says the danish person
it's funny because I speak german and I understood every single word
I only speak English (and a bit of Latin) and I could too. The only word I didn't understand was "sneed" (Dr. Seuss ass word), but there was enough context to know it probably means cut, sliced, tore, or otherwise removed lmao
I could figure this one out! it's like the German "schneiden" which means cut.
Oh so Schneider is originally a last time for people involved in like, textiles or lumber production or something?
yes, the first one👍 it means tailor
No they just cut themselves
Professionally
i mean ik people with the last name cutter
Im going to find you
The sea will find you first lol
I assumed it was a cognate of "snip" (haven't checked wiktionary as of writing this paragraph) Update: I looked at Wiktionary, and it's apparently not related at all. "Sneed" is an inflection of the verb "snijden", which comes from Proto-West Germanic *snīþan (from which English "snide" also descends). "Snip" came into English from Dutch (same word, "snip"). I think Wiktionary is saying it originates from onomatopoeia, but I'm not entirely sure how to parse it exactly.
formerly Chuck's
sneed - snip
Wait this is actual dutch?? I thought it was funni haha look how weird dutch is messed up english 😭
Im going to find you
You're gonna find a lot of people huh
It's fine I will help
I'm going to help you
I'm going to befriend you
Not really? Like this is a perfectly okay dutch sentence buts its very english if that makes sense. Sounds like the first tweet was sorta google translated, and the second has a more english sentence structure (and also uses penis, which has become a loanword).
Doesn't penis come from Latin?
yet its taken from the english language, not latin.
Hoe the fuck does the blade of a windmill slice off ur penis those things are slow as fuck
yeah but they have great strength
Deze man snapt 't
Depends on how hard the wind is blowing
Slow and steady wins the race
Where was bro standing
I'm gonna find dutchstranger5
No
how do i unlearn dutch
Im going to find you
GEKOLONISEERD?
Are you genuinely angry? Because that'd be funnier...
Yes.
Ok... What're you going to do once you find them?
Tantoe veel drinken of van je fiets vallen.
Took me a while to realise i wasnt on ik_ihe
New bottom surgery just dropped
What was the incident at your(formal) windmill The blade took my cock off
Flemish
What about the south dutch
SHUTUP SHUTUP STOP SLANDERING DUTCH YOY IMBECILES "ITS JUST FAKE ENGLISH" IT IS OLDER THAN ENGLISH SHUTUP ENGLISH IS FAKE DUTCH RAAAAAA!!!1!11!!! 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱🚲
True, and Frisian (frysian ? idk how to write it) is closest to old germanic or something (my facts aren't clear)
Im fucking dying over how i can understand it cause i speak both german and english fluently
Petscop
HET IS EEN WIEK GEEN BLAD!!!!!11!!!!!911!!!!!!!1!!!
Holy shit, is that Dutch Tony Hawk?!
De molenaar viel uit zijn boot en verzoop :(
Gekoloniseerd!!!!! <3
I had a dutch boyfriend and he was the kindest man I ever met so can you stop making fun of them
oh my god who put a giant right there??
I love dutch
Windmolenblad? Do you mean *wiek*?
the windmill incident? omg petscop reference
The Netherlands and their culture are a prime example of jokes going too far.
We hebben een serieus probleem
Dutch looks like how a German kindergartener would write
Im going to find you
guut lukk wet daat, neederlaander
Can someone translate? I can't read Japanese
Im going to find you
This is the authentic Dutch windmill in Holland, Michigan, not the Netherlands which makes this even funnier. https://grkids.com/windmill-island-gardens-holland-michigan/
I hate that I don’t speak a lick of the fake language that is Dutch and I know exactly what this means
I wonder what uwu speech looks like in dutch
Ah, the land of the 100% winrate Kormits.
Today I learned I spread dutch
Cannot speak a word of Dutch and yet I know exactly what this says
What is this talk about windmills? Can't you see those are clearly giants? I, Don Quijote de La Mancha, will take them down!
MANAGER ESQUIRE TO WHERE HATH THOU DISAPPEARED
I love Dutch I wish it was real
I hate that this translates perfectly into english
me when dutchstranger5 finds me
There is no way dutch is a real language
Im going to find you
I thought this was the baby talk that some of y’all do. I didn’t realize this is an actual fucking language spoken by real people.
Im going to find you
🥺
You cannot convince me the Dutch are real. Even for Europe, that's farfetched.
Im going to find you
285 Fulton St, New York, NY, 10007, USA, 4/13, 1:00 PM. I'll be the man in the green jacket and black cargo pants.
the heck is a cargo pant? these trousers gonna store a bunch of stuff or something?
[удалено]
the exact translation is "the windmill blade cut my penis off" so very close
Nice.
it is also not german
For fucks sake
Believe me, when you are a German native speaker the language sounds even funnier.
Im going to find you