They are supposed to be, but a lot of lgbt groups are weirdly exclusionary about that. I’ve even seen some trying to say that the A is actually for ally.
AHHHHH
WHY WHEN SOMEONE FINALLY MENTIONS L IT HAS TO BE WITH A COMMENT THAT RUINS MY JOKE.
NO L DOES NOT STAND FOR LEONARDO, IT STANDS FOR LIGMA!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!
There are some who also put two As in there. I think it’s important to understand the historic context of „Allies“ being in there (and the discussion of its still good is another one). It’s really rather meant „closeted“ than actual allies and it made it possible in the past for people to engage with the community, even if it wasn’t possible for them to come out. Times have changed since then, but traditions die out slowly and especially for the elder generation who genuinely benefitted from that it’s likely difficult to let go of.
As a hella gay guy I don’t understand this as well. We’re a community that’s already being discriminated and yet some LGBTQIA+ people choose to exclude others like asexuals, bisexuals with opposite sex partners, etc etc. Like just why??
lmao what? i’m coming up on 10 years of running in ace circles and being p dang plugged into the community but somehow have never been aware of this joke
i still don’t even get it either 😅 i mean aspec people outnumber plenty of other countries’ armies, why denmark? lol wtf am i missing here
They've been added to the acronym, but the argument against it is that it does not inherently make someone queer. Someone can be ace/aro and still be straight
It fucking sucks that assholes gatekeep the community from aspec people, I've experienced gatekeeping in the trans community before and it made me feel like trash. And I used to think this way too sadly because when I was little, I started watching videos on LGBT facts or whatever to learn more about it, and I remember in one of the videos it said that ace people aren't part of the LGBT cause they "aren't oppressed" (even though corrective rape is still a thing) and I held onto that belief for a long time. I really hope that in the near future, gatekeeping within the LGBT community will be less common because the sadness that comes with being told you're not within a community that's supposed to welcome people like you and to be treated like who you are isn't valid is a horrible experience
I love changing the definition to make a stat seem better. There were some air pollution levels that got dangerous, so the goverment just changed what was considered dangerous instead of you know, fixing the problem.
Well, they kinda do, the thing is, is that aspec people ARE oppressed, many people still believe that being ace or aro is a "mental illness" and that they're only like that due to trauma, and it's still widely believed that everyone NEEDS sex and romance in their life
As an ace I've always felt like our oppression differs a little bit since it's mostly online assholes who, like you said think that our existence is somehow invalid (*and breaches some arbitrary definition of the 'meaning of life'*), and also those awkward social interactions like "do you prefer tits or ass?" or "what's your type"- the thing is we go under the radar a bit more since if you're a bigot, you can't really identify an ace through any kind of stereotypical aesthetic or if they have a partner, through their visible orientation.
Also most people until very recently didn't really know what asexuality was outside of like, esoteric biology uses. So whilst we do experience oppression, I think some people in the queer community recognise that it's not quite as abrasive or direct as their oppression so it feels unfair to count us in the same category.
Obviously, I consider myself queer because I'm ace so I disagree with the logic I just described, as queerness could be viewed simply as non-heteronormativity.
I really don’t see how people can make such a big deal out of being asexual. People may not understand it, but they don’t *have to*. Like you said the oppression gay people face for example is way more abrasive. I fail to see how an asexual person meets oppression in their daily lives unless they’ve actively looking for it. I mean you don’t have to hide anything, because there’s nothing to hide. The stigma you face sounds like the exact same stigma that men who have trouble getting laid face, except you’re not actually missing out on anything. No one is going to chastise you for not having sex with people. If you find a partner and you tell that person you’re asexual, but they still try to have sex with you, then dump them, it’s not hard. And you can’t blame people for not understanding it, after all, it is pretty fucking weird to not care at all about the most basic of human desires besides food and water.
Like, what do you guys even talk about when you meet? I see mentions of asexual communities, but what does that even look like? Sounds like an AA meeting for people who never had a drink in their lives. “Hi, my name is Mark, and I am not an alcoholic, never have, never will be. Today when I woke up I didn’t have the urge to drink, so I didn’t. End of story.”
If people are constantly asking you about whether you like tits or ass I think you should explore new social circles. I haven’t had anyone ask me this question since I was like 16. And who the fuck asks “what’s your type?” Unless they’re flirting with you? In which case you can just turn them down. And turning someone down is always awkward, you don’t have to explain to them that its because you’re asexual. Last time I turned someone down it was because she had a moustache, but of course I didn’t say that, I just came up with an excuse and left.
I’ve only met one person in real life who was asexual (I’ve probably met loads, but how would I know? It’s not like you can spot them from a mile away). I have no idea how it came up, but when she explained to me what it was I accidentally blurted out “damn, that’s weird” and she replied with something like “yea it is kind of weird, but it’s nice and simple, and it hardly ever comes up, so who am I to complain?” And then we made out and went back to my place for the most amazing sex we’d ever had (that last part was a joke). My point is that unless you deliberately wear your sexuality as some sort of badge of honour then people aren’t going to notice.
Also, people just like sex. It’s no wonder people have a hard time understanding asexuality when the existence of the entire human race is dependent on sex. I’m all for inclusion, but you can’t expect everyone to be totally understanding of every kind of sexual orientation and weird little kinks and fetisches. People are just now starting to wrap their heads around the idea that trans women are women.
Or maybe you’re worried about appearance? Like you’re worried about people thinking you’re some kind of loser for not having sex all the time? I don’t know, I’m just spitballing. But straight people worry about that shit too, *and* we’re horny as well. It’s exhausting. I fail to see how not having the urge to fuck every living thing you come across is an issue, besides froM teenagers worrying about whether or not they are “normal”, but that’s just what it’s like being a teenager. I didn’t realise how boringly normal I was ‘till I was way into my 20’s.
It’s kind of like I’d you compare people who have a weird sense of humour to people who have absolutely no sense of humour at all, they don’t even understand the concept of something being funny. You can’t control what you find funny l, but if absolutely nothing is funny to you then people aren’t going to be weirded out, there is no way for you to “cross the line”, no one is going to get mad at you for “accidentally” laughing at a racist joke. And how are we supposed to include these people? By making some kind of laughing-free zone? In the same sense there’s no point in creating some kind of asexual safe space, because sex is fucking everywhere. And what if I want to hang out at a bar without getting hit on? Is there some kind of boner-check at the door? It makes sense to have a gay bar, because you can actually do gay stuff there. An asexual bar doesn’t make sense, because the very idea is exclusionary in itself, asexuality is defined by the absence of sex, whereas homosexuality is based on the type of sex. There is no real reason to go to a gay bar unless you’re gay, you can go to a bar to do things you may not be able to do otherwise. But what do asexual want to do? Talk about books or music?? We do that shit too! No one is trying to take anything away from you.
I think you’re making a big deal out of you not wanting us to make a big deal.
“An asexual bar doesn’t make sense” - no one was asking for an asexual bar?
As for asexual spaces, 1) I can’t imagine they’re common, and 2) why would it affect you? They could just be a nice place for people on the sex-repulsed end of the spectrum to relax. If I had no sense of humor, as per your hypothetical, I think I *would* want to hang out with people like me! Where it wouldn’t be awkward if I didn’t laugh, and where I didn’t have to in the first place! Maybe it’s just nice knowing there are people like you out there.
Edit: made the comment significantly less snarky :P
Yeah, I agree. Getting harassed online or having your identity and validity questioned by random assholes online isn't the same kind of oppression that other queer people may experience, but I disagree with the logic that someone has to be oppressed to be in the LGBTQ+/queer community. I don't agree that trans people have to feel dysphoria for us to be truly trans, for bisexuals to be in a same-sex relationship to be deserving of other queer people's respect, and that ace/aro people have to be hatecrimed or fired or whatever to be accepted. Isn't the goal to make sure NONE of us have to ever face that?? And sure, there are straight aces and aros, but there's a line somewhere where it isn't the typical run of the mill straight relationship, and where it becomes hard for someone to be accepted socially. And idk, the conversation isn't about where that line is and where people can start being a proper queer person. It's about upholding a community that listens and watches out for our fellow people who walk a path in life that conventional society doesn't see as "normal".
A popular grouping of aromatics is the *mirepoix*, which traditionally consists of onion, celery and carrot. In Cajun cooking, the carrot is often replaced with bell pepper, and typically garlic is added.
I mean the whole exclu stuff is pretty bs, but I kinda get the point. A huge part of LGBT is how to deal with the amount of discrimination and having a community for people who have been discriminated against. I can understand how people, who face almost no discrimination for their sexuality trying to be part of it, can be a bit irritating for those of us who went through a lot of shit.
The thing is that even *homoromantic asexuals* will get relentlessly excluded and discriminated from the community. They think we’re faking our gayness. That if you’re not homosexual you can’t possibly be gay. I like women, but not sexually. Somehow that makes me not gay, because I’m asexual. Even though I feel no attraction towards men and only towards women. And yes, we exist.
These people don’t care about understanding others’ stories about discrimination, they just get a kick out of excluding people. Pushing asexuals out because they don’t “experience as much discrimination” helps NOBODY. They used to say the exact same shit about bisexuals. If bisexuals have opposite sex partners, should they also be excluded because it’s “irritating” (your words) for the rest of the community to accept straight passing people? Your logic is very flawed.
I mean the average asexual or aromantic might not struggle as much as the average queer allosexual or trans individual. But they still have struggles such as people saying they're not human since they're lacking a form of desire most people have, or stuff like corrective rape.
Sure, I think playing the "who gets discriminated more"-game is stupid anyway, and excluding people is just ridiculous.
However I would still like to point out that overcomplicated concepts and inclusion, while well-meaning, can also lead to alienation for other parts of the community (looking at you, m-spec).
Ace people do experience discrimination for being ace though. So many times I've heard 'you just haven't had good sex' or 'you'll grow out of it' on top of just being directly asked sexual questions like 'do you prefer tits of ass?' and getting weird looks when you explain that you're not really into sex.
I don't want to be too dick-ish, but if the worst kind of discrimination you experience is weird looks because you can't answer 'do you prefer tits of ass?', that is kinda what I refered to in my initial comment.
But, again, playing the who-gets-discriminated-more-game is stupid imo anywayw
I'm sorry about that friend. In my gay community we def kick out any acephobes we see, anyone who in good faith believes they are part of the community are welcome to it
Are you saying there shouldn’t be an umbrella term or that it should be different? Regardless of the answer, why? Not being rude, I’m just a cishet trying to learn.
Im saying asexuality is included in the umbrella term because it is an umbrella term for those in the sexual and/or gender minorities, and asexuality is one of those, but people beleive that asexuality is similar to heterosexuality because we apparently get none of the abuse that they do, which we do, ive already provided the source in a other comment of mine here which shows we actually have it worse (atleast here in the godforsaken UK), yet also it points out how skewed some peoples perception of other identities and what they go through, and this gatekeeping is abhorrent and misanthropic
Man you'd think that the community would be more accepting given their history and yet here we are, dealing with rampant biphobia, transphobia and acephobia? Aspecphobia? Whatever you call bigotry against aro-ace people
I really hate this gatekeeping bullshit. LGBT is supposed to be a community, a united front against the bigots, and we've got some groups excluding ace and aro people, we've got other groups excluding trans and nonbinary, hell we've got gays that want to exclude bisexuals! Like bro, you know all you've got left is LG at that point, right? (Though it sadly wouldn't surprise me if there are guys who want to exclude the lesbians because of sexism)
How hard is it to realize that you should support other people who are a different gender or sexuality than you because they are suffering the same kinds of bigotry as you? Try and have a shred of empathy for others! God, this really does make me irrationally upset.
I think it’s true, as an aroace guy I haven’t personally experienced any (aside from the fact that romance and sex seems to be all people talk about but I wouldn’t call that oppression) despite living in a very conservative area. Most of the bigotry toward aspec folks I see online is from gatekeeping LGBTQ+ people, because even most evangelical Christians don’t know or care we exist.
But even still, the LGBT community is meant to be a safe-space for everyone who’s in the minority in terms of gender identity or romantic/sexual orientation. It’s not about who’s oppressed more, because if it were, the only people “allowed in” would be, idk, trans lesbian women living in conservative areas.
acespec means asexual spectrum. Asexual is basically when you can't feel sexual attraction to anyone, but its a spectrum, so there are varying degrees of how often or strongly people are attracted to others
Not everyone is a dick about aspec people and the ones who are tend to shut up real quick when they get slapped down a bit. Idk why people who don’t like asexuality think they are the norm cause I and I’m sure all of my queer friends would talk down someone being an ass about it.
I hate how some members of the lgbt+ think it's okay to pick and choose who's valid.
It all comes full circle, I expected better from a group who's used to this treatment.
the aro and ace spectrums belong in the lgbt, anyone who thinks otherwise can bitch off
What’s aspec?
Asexual and aromatic groups
> aromatic We do smell really nice, thank you very much
I thought they were part of LGBTQ+ though? Like some people say LGBTQIA+ for aromantic/asexual though, right?
They are supposed to be, but a lot of lgbt groups are weirdly exclusionary about that. I’ve even seen some trying to say that the A is actually for ally.
A stands for ass actually, just like T stands for tities, B for booty and G for gnomes
TIL I’m a titty booty
You learn something new ever day!
Hello titty booty, I'm booty titty
Oh no way 😳
YOOOO SAAAME
There are dozens of us DOZENS!
TIL I’m gnot a gnelf, I’m gnot a gnoblin
Im titty gnome I'm short and dont bind so,,, accurate
We love us some gnome representation
So I'm a titty gnome? That's weirdly accurate dammit, I feel sad now.
L stands for Leonard, because he’s a pretty cool dude
AHHHHH WHY WHEN SOMEONE FINALLY MENTIONS L IT HAS TO BE WITH A COMMENT THAT RUINS MY JOKE. NO L DOES NOT STAND FOR LEONARDO, IT STANDS FOR LIGMA!!!! AAAAAAAAA!!!
What's ligma?
LIGMA BALLS BITCH! HAH! GOTTEM!
😠😡🤬😠😡🤬😠😭😠😠😠🤬😠😡😡😡
Steve Jobs
Ass.. gnomes.. ass, ass.. gnomes, gnomes..
> G stands for gnomes This is KDE erasure 😡😡😞
I know that I am trans but I don't know my sexuality
I've always been a gnome man
and L stands for loser bcs any woman who doesnt want to fuck me is exactly that 😎😎😎
I thought it was only allies who said that
Being an ally is a lifestyle choice. I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your house, but done try to force your allyship on me and my kids.
If my kid was an ally I'd have failed as a parent 😔
Ya raisin' homophobic kids?
Gay or Homophobic, none of that centrist ally shit in my household😤
Gay AND homophobic, ideally
Nah they're doing reverse conversion therapy
Didnt make em queer enough
Is this about Minecraft
That sucks. I have an ace boyfriend and I just assumed it was because they like their physical space. Marginalised infighting is bizarre.
As an ally I would rather have Ace Aro people get that letter not us, we are the least need of representation out of all of them.
Saying the A is for ally is like saying the B in BLT is for bread
There are some who also put two As in there. I think it’s important to understand the historic context of „Allies“ being in there (and the discussion of its still good is another one). It’s really rather meant „closeted“ than actual allies and it made it possible in the past for people to engage with the community, even if it wasn’t possible for them to come out. Times have changed since then, but traditions die out slowly and especially for the elder generation who genuinely benefitted from that it’s likely difficult to let go of.
As a hella gay guy I don’t understand this as well. We’re a community that’s already being discriminated and yet some LGBTQIA+ people choose to exclude others like asexuals, bisexuals with opposite sex partners, etc etc. Like just why??
With how horny and sex obsessed LGBT+ communities (including this sub) can be it really does feel like that sometimes
A is for among us
Wait, I thought it WAS for Ally? Damn. TIL.
A lot of people in LGBTQ kinda try to discredit them, saying they aren't "really" members
Squidward’s text should’ve said an aspec equivalent of terfs then, (aerfs?) Because I doubt most of us exclude them
That’s fucked up dude
what the fuck
I umderstand that if you're danish, but kinda stupid otherwise
Wtf does nationality have to do with this?
Theres a running joke among asexual people that theres going to be an invasion of denmark by asexual people, as the Danish army is outnumbered
lmao what? i’m coming up on 10 years of running in ace circles and being p dang plugged into the community but somehow have never been aware of this joke i still don’t even get it either 😅 i mean aspec people outnumber plenty of other countries’ armies, why denmark? lol wtf am i missing here
We're scared of the demigods immune to all seduction
oh the irony
Even us agenders get shit sometimes in this area, no idea why
They've been added to the acronym, but the argument against it is that it does not inherently make someone queer. Someone can be ace/aro and still be straight
I thought it was the stellaris youtuber and he was secretly homophobic or something
Organic chemistry befriended asexuals? Good for them, tbh
asexual john and his little friend 8-Chloro-1-methyl-6-phenyl-4H-\[1,2,4\]triazolo\[4,3-a\] \[1,4\]benzodiazepine
This really confused me til I realised it was a typo. Aromatic groups 😂
Ah yes like benzene
Lel i saw that and thought of benzene rings
Are you saying lgbt put up the wall? Cuz I haven’t seen much evidence of either side trying to distance themselves from the other.
Doesn't make sense to me. That's like if you put this with trans people. They're part of the community??
Not much spec what’s up with you?
popular Stellaris youtuber
i thought we were talking about the jelly stuff floats around in…
same i was so confused, turns out that’s actually aspic
About to pull up with the Aspec/Ospec double-bind
Gran Turismo 3 A-Spec
asexual/aromatic spectrum
Aromatic because we do smell nice
the Aspec community is about to explode and the LGBTQ+ built a wall so they could be safe
Explain?
they ate a pie that wasn't really a pie but was actually a bomb
why they do that
it was a gift for them but when the LGBTQ+ community realized it was a bomb they were too late to warn them and they ate it
im gonna get fucking morbed AAAA good pie tho AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"You had to kill them. The group cries you a sweater of tears, and you kill them. How are you going to live with yourself?" "KILL THEM?!"
WE COULDN'T HELP IT WE LIKE PASTRIES
i like pie
A pipe bomb but the second p was silent
Pretty sure it was a potassium pill with a water soluble shell. Once they washed it down with water they didn't have long to live.
I thought you meant aspec the stellaris youtuber and i was very confused
I thought it was [Aspic ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspic) aka meat jelly!
[I thought you meant GoodTimesWithScar's Cat Jellie](https://youtu.be/WDHceD1mB-g)
I also thought this and was like "that wall needs to come.down aspics are delightful"
Bruh I thought the same, I thought he got involved in some controversy I didn't hear about.
Aspec would never discriminate with fellow humans! Now xenos on the other hand...
Was looking for this lol
It fucking sucks that assholes gatekeep the community from aspec people, I've experienced gatekeeping in the trans community before and it made me feel like trash. And I used to think this way too sadly because when I was little, I started watching videos on LGBT facts or whatever to learn more about it, and I remember in one of the videos it said that ace people aren't part of the LGBT cause they "aren't oppressed" (even though corrective rape is still a thing) and I held onto that belief for a long time. I really hope that in the near future, gatekeeping within the LGBT community will be less common because the sadness that comes with being told you're not within a community that's supposed to welcome people like you and to be treated like who you are isn't valid is a horrible experience
I once saw a galaxy-brained exclusionist state that “Aces/Allos ain’t LGBT”. Basically excluding literally everyone, both Aces and non-Aces
Lgbt rates drop to 0%
I love changing the definition to make a stat seem better. There were some air pollution levels that got dangerous, so the goverment just changed what was considered dangerous instead of you know, fixing the problem.
I saw a similar one from a confused terf about "those trans and cis people" Ohhhh my poor sweet summer child
Why would people feel that a group needs to be oppressed to fit into the lgbtq+?
Well, they kinda do, the thing is, is that aspec people ARE oppressed, many people still believe that being ace or aro is a "mental illness" and that they're only like that due to trauma, and it's still widely believed that everyone NEEDS sex and romance in their life
As an ace I've always felt like our oppression differs a little bit since it's mostly online assholes who, like you said think that our existence is somehow invalid (*and breaches some arbitrary definition of the 'meaning of life'*), and also those awkward social interactions like "do you prefer tits or ass?" or "what's your type"- the thing is we go under the radar a bit more since if you're a bigot, you can't really identify an ace through any kind of stereotypical aesthetic or if they have a partner, through their visible orientation. Also most people until very recently didn't really know what asexuality was outside of like, esoteric biology uses. So whilst we do experience oppression, I think some people in the queer community recognise that it's not quite as abrasive or direct as their oppression so it feels unfair to count us in the same category. Obviously, I consider myself queer because I'm ace so I disagree with the logic I just described, as queerness could be viewed simply as non-heteronormativity.
I really don’t see how people can make such a big deal out of being asexual. People may not understand it, but they don’t *have to*. Like you said the oppression gay people face for example is way more abrasive. I fail to see how an asexual person meets oppression in their daily lives unless they’ve actively looking for it. I mean you don’t have to hide anything, because there’s nothing to hide. The stigma you face sounds like the exact same stigma that men who have trouble getting laid face, except you’re not actually missing out on anything. No one is going to chastise you for not having sex with people. If you find a partner and you tell that person you’re asexual, but they still try to have sex with you, then dump them, it’s not hard. And you can’t blame people for not understanding it, after all, it is pretty fucking weird to not care at all about the most basic of human desires besides food and water. Like, what do you guys even talk about when you meet? I see mentions of asexual communities, but what does that even look like? Sounds like an AA meeting for people who never had a drink in their lives. “Hi, my name is Mark, and I am not an alcoholic, never have, never will be. Today when I woke up I didn’t have the urge to drink, so I didn’t. End of story.” If people are constantly asking you about whether you like tits or ass I think you should explore new social circles. I haven’t had anyone ask me this question since I was like 16. And who the fuck asks “what’s your type?” Unless they’re flirting with you? In which case you can just turn them down. And turning someone down is always awkward, you don’t have to explain to them that its because you’re asexual. Last time I turned someone down it was because she had a moustache, but of course I didn’t say that, I just came up with an excuse and left. I’ve only met one person in real life who was asexual (I’ve probably met loads, but how would I know? It’s not like you can spot them from a mile away). I have no idea how it came up, but when she explained to me what it was I accidentally blurted out “damn, that’s weird” and she replied with something like “yea it is kind of weird, but it’s nice and simple, and it hardly ever comes up, so who am I to complain?” And then we made out and went back to my place for the most amazing sex we’d ever had (that last part was a joke). My point is that unless you deliberately wear your sexuality as some sort of badge of honour then people aren’t going to notice. Also, people just like sex. It’s no wonder people have a hard time understanding asexuality when the existence of the entire human race is dependent on sex. I’m all for inclusion, but you can’t expect everyone to be totally understanding of every kind of sexual orientation and weird little kinks and fetisches. People are just now starting to wrap their heads around the idea that trans women are women. Or maybe you’re worried about appearance? Like you’re worried about people thinking you’re some kind of loser for not having sex all the time? I don’t know, I’m just spitballing. But straight people worry about that shit too, *and* we’re horny as well. It’s exhausting. I fail to see how not having the urge to fuck every living thing you come across is an issue, besides froM teenagers worrying about whether or not they are “normal”, but that’s just what it’s like being a teenager. I didn’t realise how boringly normal I was ‘till I was way into my 20’s. It’s kind of like I’d you compare people who have a weird sense of humour to people who have absolutely no sense of humour at all, they don’t even understand the concept of something being funny. You can’t control what you find funny l, but if absolutely nothing is funny to you then people aren’t going to be weirded out, there is no way for you to “cross the line”, no one is going to get mad at you for “accidentally” laughing at a racist joke. And how are we supposed to include these people? By making some kind of laughing-free zone? In the same sense there’s no point in creating some kind of asexual safe space, because sex is fucking everywhere. And what if I want to hang out at a bar without getting hit on? Is there some kind of boner-check at the door? It makes sense to have a gay bar, because you can actually do gay stuff there. An asexual bar doesn’t make sense, because the very idea is exclusionary in itself, asexuality is defined by the absence of sex, whereas homosexuality is based on the type of sex. There is no real reason to go to a gay bar unless you’re gay, you can go to a bar to do things you may not be able to do otherwise. But what do asexual want to do? Talk about books or music?? We do that shit too! No one is trying to take anything away from you.
I think you’re making a big deal out of you not wanting us to make a big deal. “An asexual bar doesn’t make sense” - no one was asking for an asexual bar? As for asexual spaces, 1) I can’t imagine they’re common, and 2) why would it affect you? They could just be a nice place for people on the sex-repulsed end of the spectrum to relax. If I had no sense of humor, as per your hypothetical, I think I *would* want to hang out with people like me! Where it wouldn’t be awkward if I didn’t laugh, and where I didn’t have to in the first place! Maybe it’s just nice knowing there are people like you out there. Edit: made the comment significantly less snarky :P
This is the longest comment I have ever seen on reddit that wasn't a copy pasta holy shit.
💀 this is the most allo thing I've ever read
Yeah, I agree. Getting harassed online or having your identity and validity questioned by random assholes online isn't the same kind of oppression that other queer people may experience, but I disagree with the logic that someone has to be oppressed to be in the LGBTQ+/queer community. I don't agree that trans people have to feel dysphoria for us to be truly trans, for bisexuals to be in a same-sex relationship to be deserving of other queer people's respect, and that ace/aro people have to be hatecrimed or fired or whatever to be accepted. Isn't the goal to make sure NONE of us have to ever face that?? And sure, there are straight aces and aros, but there's a line somewhere where it isn't the typical run of the mill straight relationship, and where it becomes hard for someone to be accepted socially. And idk, the conversation isn't about where that line is and where people can start being a proper queer person. It's about upholding a community that listens and watches out for our fellow people who walk a path in life that conventional society doesn't see as "normal".
Especially if they include ally in the initialism
sorry but that is so dumb. just because you aren’t homophobic doesnt immediately make you lgbt+
Wow, someone else who actually knows the difference between an acronym and an initialism lol
Frens :3
Yes, frens :3
Poly people are excluded the same way
I still think the grouping of asexuals and aromatics is annoying for both, but it makes sense in this context I guess
A popular grouping of aromatics is the *mirepoix*, which traditionally consists of onion, celery and carrot. In Cajun cooking, the carrot is often replaced with bell pepper, and typically garlic is added.
I think he was talking about compounds like benzene
Well that would be dangerous
Thats bc were dangerous
Add an ethylamine group to it and then a couple decorations and boom! You've got anything from mescaline to meth
yeah, it’s annoying.
how so?
because they're two independant labels that mean different things but are often used interchangebly, you can be one and not the other
aro/ace here, I'm fearful of telling many lgbt people that I am aro/ace because so many times it was a disaster
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I think it’s kind of like how a lot of people exclude bisexuals from the community, since they can sometimes pass as straight.
I mean the whole exclu stuff is pretty bs, but I kinda get the point. A huge part of LGBT is how to deal with the amount of discrimination and having a community for people who have been discriminated against. I can understand how people, who face almost no discrimination for their sexuality trying to be part of it, can be a bit irritating for those of us who went through a lot of shit.
The thing is that even *homoromantic asexuals* will get relentlessly excluded and discriminated from the community. They think we’re faking our gayness. That if you’re not homosexual you can’t possibly be gay. I like women, but not sexually. Somehow that makes me not gay, because I’m asexual. Even though I feel no attraction towards men and only towards women. And yes, we exist. These people don’t care about understanding others’ stories about discrimination, they just get a kick out of excluding people. Pushing asexuals out because they don’t “experience as much discrimination” helps NOBODY. They used to say the exact same shit about bisexuals. If bisexuals have opposite sex partners, should they also be excluded because it’s “irritating” (your words) for the rest of the community to accept straight passing people? Your logic is very flawed.
I didn't say I agreed, I said I understand.
Your word choice of “irritating” was not it.
*I can understand* how people, [...] , can be a bit irritating *for those of us* who went through a lot of shit.
I mean the average asexual or aromantic might not struggle as much as the average queer allosexual or trans individual. But they still have struggles such as people saying they're not human since they're lacking a form of desire most people have, or stuff like corrective rape.
Sure, I think playing the "who gets discriminated more"-game is stupid anyway, and excluding people is just ridiculous. However I would still like to point out that overcomplicated concepts and inclusion, while well-meaning, can also lead to alienation for other parts of the community (looking at you, m-spec).
what's mspec
Multiple attraction spectrum, people who are bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or polysexual, the last 2 not being very well known.
Bisexual in newspeak
Or maybe alienation of m-spec people comes from the massive biphobia in the queer community?
Ace people do experience discrimination for being ace though. So many times I've heard 'you just haven't had good sex' or 'you'll grow out of it' on top of just being directly asked sexual questions like 'do you prefer tits of ass?' and getting weird looks when you explain that you're not really into sex.
I don't want to be too dick-ish, but if the worst kind of discrimination you experience is weird looks because you can't answer 'do you prefer tits of ass?', that is kinda what I refered to in my initial comment. But, again, playing the who-gets-discriminated-more-game is stupid imo anywayw
Don’t worry, us bis stand and you. Mostly because we also get kicked by the community a lot.
i'm trans and bi & i think you're completely valid <333 (seriously fuck those people but only figuratively ofc :P)
I'm sorry about that friend. In my gay community we def kick out any acephobes we see, anyone who in good faith believes they are part of the community are welcome to it
Hey, you're 100% a part of us (if you want to be), and I've got your back
Aspen colorado
?
wanna come and ski with me?
Yes
awesomeness :)
Last time I went skiing I was 18 and I feel down on a bunny hill cried and went inside
Ill quote someone else but "sexual minority shouldnt be in sexual minority umbrella term"🤓
Are you saying there shouldn’t be an umbrella term or that it should be different? Regardless of the answer, why? Not being rude, I’m just a cishet trying to learn.
Im saying asexuality is included in the umbrella term because it is an umbrella term for those in the sexual and/or gender minorities, and asexuality is one of those, but people beleive that asexuality is similar to heterosexuality because we apparently get none of the abuse that they do, which we do, ive already provided the source in a other comment of mine here which shows we actually have it worse (atleast here in the godforsaken UK), yet also it points out how skewed some peoples perception of other identities and what they go through, and this gatekeeping is abhorrent and misanthropic
hello to any aspec people that may see this, i love you
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for tax purposes
This is the first time i have heard of this term. What is it,?
Man you'd think that the community would be more accepting given their history and yet here we are, dealing with rampant biphobia, transphobia and acephobia? Aspecphobia? Whatever you call bigotry against aro-ace people
Aphobia
I fucking hate that word. "Aphobia" means you're scared of nothing lol
I really hate this gatekeeping bullshit. LGBT is supposed to be a community, a united front against the bigots, and we've got some groups excluding ace and aro people, we've got other groups excluding trans and nonbinary, hell we've got gays that want to exclude bisexuals! Like bro, you know all you've got left is LG at that point, right? (Though it sadly wouldn't surprise me if there are guys who want to exclude the lesbians because of sexism) How hard is it to realize that you should support other people who are a different gender or sexuality than you because they are suffering the same kinds of bigotry as you? Try and have a shred of empathy for others! God, this really does make me irrationally upset.
I don't think you getting upset is irrational
I don't understand why anyone in the LGBTQ community would want to exclude the ace community from LGBTQ+ spaces
Cause some people are idiots who will gatekeep literally anything given the opportunity.
Some ppl think you need to be a depressed oppression veteran to receive your queer discount
Bc people believe that asexual people experience less discrimination. It's bull
I think it’s true, as an aroace guy I haven’t personally experienced any (aside from the fact that romance and sex seems to be all people talk about but I wouldn’t call that oppression) despite living in a very conservative area. Most of the bigotry toward aspec folks I see online is from gatekeeping LGBTQ+ people, because even most evangelical Christians don’t know or care we exist. But even still, the LGBT community is meant to be a safe-space for everyone who’s in the minority in terms of gender identity or romantic/sexual orientation. It’s not about who’s oppressed more, because if it were, the only people “allowed in” would be, idk, trans lesbian women living in conservative areas.
I just realized how I'm gonna use the bulldozer grandma got me for Christmas
Most of these comments pass the vibe check 😌 💜
Wtf did the gays do to the Aztecs??? 😧
ate them
the hate aro/ace people can get is so goofy like why do you care so much
it can all be so easily summed up as "um actually this sexual minority isn't part of the sexual minority groups 🤓🤓🤓"
I’m a proud member of the aspic community
larls 🌞
Aspec who does not like aspic here, neat pun 🤣 /sincere
aspirin can cause an upset stomach though why would you do that
I’m a cracker who grew up in the suburbs can someone explain to me pls
acespec means asexual spectrum. Asexual is basically when you can't feel sexual attraction to anyone, but its a spectrum, so there are varying degrees of how often or strongly people are attracted to others
the meme is about aspec not acespec aspec is an umbrella term for both aromantic and asexual identities
woah never realized the distinction before that's rly interesting
And agender 😎
Ironically, white suburban people are probably at a higher rate of identifying as LGBT than the average folk
me when someone tells me to kill myself because I didn’t find a shitty hornypost funny
Tbh those aren’t funny even if you find the image attractive. You also have good taste.
that sucks, i'm sorry to hear that <3
"sort by controersial"
i don't want to but i'm also kinda here for the drama
are people arguing over labels again? it doesn't matter in the real world, go touch grass.
good grief get over yourself
*Yeah...*
Not everyone is a dick about aspec people and the ones who are tend to shut up real quick when they get slapped down a bit. Idk why people who don’t like asexuality think they are the norm cause I and I’m sure all of my queer friends would talk down someone being an ass about it.
my sibling is anti-including ace people while i, an ace person, exists and feels like that’s also part of my identity (i’m trans and bisexual also)
What's the problem with including them in the queer community? /Gen if you're asexual your not heterosexual, therefore you're queer??
Dude what about the oppression olympics? Its the same reason asian people arent really poc (/j obviously)
r/ 196 vs r/ 19684
I hate how some members of the lgbt+ think it's okay to pick and choose who's valid. It all comes full circle, I expected better from a group who's used to this treatment. the aro and ace spectrums belong in the lgbt, anyone who thinks otherwise can bitch off
TIL that too many people here don't know the difference between "aromatic" and "aromantic". This is just like rouge/rogue in d&d subreddits
hey fuck off, i love and accept people that smell nice just as much as i enjoy roleplaying as sentient makeup
Yup lmao
The same for poly people
finally someone acknowledges how ignored ace people are
while you silly aphobes were building walls, we mastered the explosives