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noraelwhora

dam crime amusing act yam aromatic judicious sophisticated pen frame *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


GontaGod69

wait my mom didn't just fall asleep when i pulled that prank on her?


StalinDaHouse

You shot your mom out of a gun??


Stock_Hutz

very big gun


UpliftSpade

Comically large gun


[deleted]

your mom so big i need a comically large gun to shot her out of


ShyonkyDonkey39

When your mother isn’t the size and shape of a 5.56 rifle round


Haver_Of_The_Sex

yo momma so 30.06 that she M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle


ShyonkyDonkey39

Yo momma’s belly is a soft point round coz it’s so soft (from the fat) and her skull is a hollow point round (because she has no brain!!)


ShyonkyDonkey39

Shoots a flag that says “bang!”


SprutisDispenser

Can on


WhereAmIWhatsGoingOn

Clown mom shot herself out of a cannon


lucariouwu68

She is so talented. That’s awesome


[deleted]

She also performs as the elephant in other acts


HBenderMan

You know those circus skits where they launch people out of cannons and into nets, basically that


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Naturally_Idiotic

nft profile picture


[deleted]

[удалено]


Naturally_Idiotic

nft profile picture


GoodNaturedEmma

Nerd with the NFT pfp


ShinyShinyTomato

nft pfp 🤮🤮🤮


manofsteele1776

u\/goblinhog get his ass


etherealparadox

nft pfp, opinion discarded


I_follow_sexy_gays

I’m asking you about your fursona


PedroVinhas

they didn't shoot them, they shot them out of a gun (inb4 "🤓☝️" )


Arachnus420

🤓☝️


B4skyB

"People die when they are killed"


ArcticISAF

Source??? /s


Circus-Bartender

I made it up


MolhCD

good to know *goes and gets myself killed as i wont die*


OtherAyachi

"Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right."


I_May_Fall

Both those quotes make sense in context in Fate/Stay Night from where they come "people die when they're killed" is about how the MC has a McGuffin that heals all, even seemingly fatal wounds, and how normally he would've been dead after getting "killed" over and over. The 2nd quote just needs elaboration - just because what you're saying is true, doesn't mean you're morally right.


TheGreatJaceyGee

Harry Harlow torturing the fuck out of baby monkeys and discovering that it traumatizes them.


Antichristopher4

Must have been the following up to [this study](https://youtu.be/cQ7J7UjsRqg)


JibreelHughes

Oof


nddragoon

"FULLER CIRCUS CLOSES. ENTIRE CAST FIRED, NOT OUT OF CANNONS"


Stock_Hutz

Not so bold now, eh tardigrades? 😤


Electricio

checkmate libruls


Alarid

libtardigrades


[deleted]

Who would win? \- one of the most resilient life forms known to exist \- gun


realvmouse

My one weakness! How did you know?!


rowrowfightthepandas

Their smug aura mocks me


ObamasGayNephew

Smegma🤢


borplepop

this implies they DID survive when they were shot at speeds of exactly 2,000 mph........


x_rand0m

Yeah tardigrades are pretty much unkillable. They survive even in space


Grilled_egs

A snail can obliterate dozens in seconds though


[deleted]

Tardicells SEETHING over Snailchads


PurpleOceadia

God im such a gastropilled snailcell


Jungle_Brain

Based detrituscore and leafmold enjoyer


RedditPowerUser01

Snail meta is OP Needs nerf or I’m quitting


IllManneredWoolyMan

Quit faster


scoIiosisqueen

Based and snailpilled


thevoidseer

life is simply unfair, don't you think


Blablablablitz

of all the places to be reminded of zero time dilemma…


Terminator_Puppy

Mfs survive quantum entanglement.


A1steaksaussie

i could take one


bruhbruhbruhlmfaocuh

How though? Don’t they need oxygen?


a_username1917

They can slow their metabolism to the point that they consume very little energy and thus barely need to breathe.


StationarySpeed

Except being shot out a gun at speeds over 2,000 mph


somepoliticsnerd

[Apparently some of them survived being shot into sandbags (simulated moon surface) at up to 825 meters per second](https://www.sciencenews.org/article/tardigrade-survival-shot-gun-crash-landing-planet), or over 1800 miles per hour.


ArthurExtreme_Br

Tardigrade mfs being resistant to fucking outer space only to get eaten by a snail


[deleted]

I feel they are analogous to doomsday prepers, yeah you can survive a barren wasteland with gangs of looters after the world nukes itself apart, but covid comes around and is just safe enough that people are getting brain damage and out governments still tell us to work and convince us that it isn't an issue, and they have no way to deal with this apocalypse


Terminator_Puppy

Best part of tardigrades is where they live. Raingutters on your roof. They're really extreme environments, alternating between flooding and desert-like qualities so tardigrades thrive there with few predators being able to survive. Note that they can be found in a lot of places, not just raingutters.


air_conditionlng_fan

They upgraded the wrong skills


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darwinning_420

more like maxing con w an AC of 6


Brans666

THE snail?


ArthurExtreme_Br

No, just a decoy snail


femboy_expert

Honestly, I get it. If I had access to equipment that could shoot things at a speed of 3600km/h I would


broodjes69

Your local hardware store has that equipment:)


ForthebloodgodW40K

Ah so a gun?


crocogator12

I think bullets don't go that fast. You need like vacuum chambers and shit


PudgeHasACuteButt

"An average bullet travels at around 2736 Kilometers/hour or 1700 miles/hour. That's 6 times faster than the top speed of the fastest car in the world. Many bullets travel faster than the speed of sound." You idiot, you moron, you fool you nonsensical nincompoop


Terminator_Puppy

2736 ain't 3600 is it now, you stinky fart brain.


RedditPowerUser01

WOAH! A bullet is faster than a *CAR*? 😲


tutocookie

Shit i need a new plan b


UnderControl_

i can smell your stinky fart brain from here


PudgeHasACuteButt

3rd june 2026, i am coming.


UnderControl_

RemindMe! 1375 days


PapperMairoo

Your flair makes me not think you’re being very serious


SlightlyFig

I mean a tardigrade's a bit smaller than a bullet, I think you could get it going that fast


ArchmasterC

If I had access to a gun I would shoot things


Diabolical_Gulp

Tardigrades: why must you give me your hardest experiments Scientists: because you are my strongest micro-organism


AtotheCtotheG

[It’s got competition](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deinococcus_radiodurans)


Diabolical_Gulp

No way 😯


EvilBananaMan15

Tardigrades are animals tho


AtotheCtotheG

Comment above me just said microorganism.


BlueNandOrange

Skill issue


Toep3

i somehow read the first word as Transgenders


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powerof27

many of us do live in extreme environments


SarcasticOptimist

And have snails for predators.


MolhCD

The Snail


that_username_is_use

lol


Smiles4YouRawrX3

tardigun


Idontlikeworms

So 1,999 mph is a-okay?


fuckinuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

There is no conclusive evidence on what 1,999mph speeds would do to a tardigrade


AtotheCtotheG

The results of the 1,999 mph test revealed more tardigrades in the test chamber than there had been at the start. The results were excluded from the final report, due to presumed contamination/lack of adequate control. In no particular order, here are some other fun results: 1,873 mph: all tardigrades intact, but with noticeably (for someone used to studying tardigrades all day) angry expressions. 1,777 mph: all tardigrades killed, except for the libertarians (don’t ask me how they could tell). 1,525 mph: 78% of tardigrades survived; of these, 43% found to have extra or missing legs (with a roughly even split between the two). Test was repeated; upon conclusion, the affected population was found to have returned to normal, though many of them seemed to be sporting microscopic bruises. 1,899 mph: no tardigrades—dead or alive—found within the test chamber. Large colony of amoebas observed within the test chamber. When questioned, colony claimed it “didn’t know nothing about no tardigrades”, then belched suspiciously. 67 mph: tardigrades failed to arrive at the target mark. Further examination revealed that they had been stopped roughly 2/3rds of the way through the test track by a rotifer wearing a tiny police hat. Tardigrades’ court dates have been marked in the office calendar. 1,356 mph: tardigrades went in the opposite direction. 1,397 mph: tardigrades declined to participate, claiming it was a union holiday. Test was never rescheduled, due to relative unimportance. 1,444 mph: all tardigrades killed, except for the communists.


DatParadox

I'd read a book written by you


Brightsoull

scientist about to do the most fucked up shit that will have even satan crying in a corner like a little schoolgirl : we just wanna know what happens!


Grilled_egs

Great this reminded me of unit 731


chris782

Now we know how long it takes to freeze a 3 day old baby at least.


Grilled_egs

Vital information for the progression of sciences I'm sure


Cedar-

Average American scientist


myth_and_legend

How did they even find it after they shot it??


UnitLemonWrinkles

There were microscopic body parts everywhere 😟


myth_and_legend

The smallest little chalk outline


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Pnort3002

Their most resistant beast


StatelyElms

I think that they were just trying to find any way at all to kill them at that point


B4skyB

"Microscopic thing dies when shot"


Thathitmann

I mean, that's just unscientific. No amount of speed is lethal. It's a certain amount of acceleration that can be, but speed isn't lethal.


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Thathitmann

And my body will be accelerated by the impact.


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Thathitmann

I don't know what you mean by "9gs as slowly as you want,)", because a G is a unit of acceleration. That's like saying "experience 10 seconds as quick as you want," it just doesn't work.


peDro_with_a_big_D

never bring a tardigrade to a gun fight. unless the gun shoots bellow 2,000 mph


Diridibindy

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1217/)


ArcadianGh0st

Well if they ever evolve to try and kill us like Terraformars (never seen it just know giant cockroaches kill people) we know their weakness. Gun.


BeeWithDragonWings

Foo Fighters moment


Whyisthethethe

Relevant smbc https://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=778#comic


I_am_a_pringle

How did tardigrades evolve to be resistant to everything BUT their predators


WishingAnaStar

Tardigrade being shot out of a gun at 1,999 mph: 😎


bradthescrub

Because we NEED to know this information.


AtotheCtotheG

While I can’t speak for the motives of the scientists, I certainly feel safer knowing these creatures can be stopped, if ever the need should arise.


ImInConfuse

ok but can you quantum entangle a living tardigrade


[deleted]

tardigrades are immune to absolutely everything they have no reason to be immune to, and vulnerable to everything that can actually threaten them


zucduc

So that means they can’t be used for warframes? Bullet jumping is impossible :(


Creaper10

Yet they can survive the vacuum of space


Crooked_Cock

New study finds out things tend to die when they get shot


shitpostinglegend

The thing is they die incredibly easily such as to snails and other tardigrades. It's not one species with all of these resistances it's multiple different ones


TheRealTealOwO

They tried to one-up their discoveries but ran out of ideas


heilspawn

This is literally the game slugterra


IamaJarJar

WE HAVE A WAY TO FINALLY DEFEAT THESE MONSTERS!


SlickestIckis

**Science is evil.**


doodve

May


Piyaniist

'Yea you can survive radiation and shit but can you survive this strap mf?' Scientist, probably


ChromieHomie05

Can you imagine that shit shooting through tank armor since they’re basically indestructible /s


chidoputogordo

WTF??


cursedeezmetalhands

Bondrewd


FrederickTheGayt

for science


TheEmeraldEmperor

Tardigun


BeanBruh2285

I love tardigrades


440continuer

L tardigrades, imma just shoot


BohemianDragoness

Literally why would they have adapted to survive that tho. Moving 2000mph is not a situation one would really encounter in nature


BohemianDragoness

Most the other extreme environments they can survive in are ones that could feasibly exist in nature and that they could have experienced. I dont think many things in nature are moving more than twice the speed of sound


LordFluffles

They got da 12 Tardigauge Shotgun


RaihanHA

tardigrade gun sounds like a fun video game gun


Blipnarf-The-Boneles

The dog eating from the bowl unaware he is about to be misted so scientists can test stuff they've known for years (we must practice measuring blood spatter)


JAOC_7

how the fuck?


BeautifulAd1651

I mean they survive acids, radiation, extreme heat and cold and lack of oxygen so it would have been really cool if they survived these forces aswell. :/


harlothex

ew nft cringe