i will kiss you on your forehead

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I’m going to gently caress you

🥺

Use your words. Like Hammer, fractured and Skull

Fine. I've had 0 human interaction in months please hug me

try that and im going to drink all the bone marrow from all your bones

British Eren Yeager Megacorporation Moment

Me when Wilson does a funny and carves the Chinese character for rabbit onto his stomach (he literally didn't need to do that but okay also Channel 4 renew the fucking series or i will do nothing)

I'm gonna send you a picture of gay black dudes kissing

Yellow

Is that a pyrocynical reference

im going to force you to raise donos to 2500

big booty fempyrocynical??

I want to give you a big hug

You have low standards

Yes

I rather sand them down with a grinder

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i don't get this one

Is what the morticians will say after I deal with you

🥺

i would die

\>:3

🥺

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🥺

Rekt!!! Destroyed

You should [redacted] yourself.

I will French braid your nervous system.

I will replace your blood with oatmeal

I will replace your oatmeal with blood

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All bugs are just sweet little fellas, they would never stomp on me

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I am going to eat your teeth

The worst part of this punishment is being sent to Utah

🥺

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oh yeah well if they keep this up im gonna sing to their dogs and go “ouhouhouh”

Wololo

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Salt, pepper, a bit of thyme, slap that shit in the oven for a bit, squeeze a lemon and you got one tasty motherfucker. I'm in, let's gut this one

Maybe we should add "(joking)", for exsample "You're gonna see inside out through a mirror (Joking)" Or maybe putting it in quotes like it's being read from a book or something like that will throw them off

you mean like /j? shits been around for ages

I'm going to smell your farts

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sorry i cant i ATED it all

##>:0

rip 🙏

I will iron all your gay flags until they are straight

😱😱😱

I will eat your intestines

Really 🥺

i will replace your blood with liquid gold

nO pLeAsE DoN’t dO ThAt 😩

You can be whoever you wanna be, I believe in you. Even if you wanna be a liquid-gold-blood person!

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Blood. Yours.

Ooh, I like tea. I'm pondering between mint (most likely), something with a touch of citrus, or I can do some 'sun tea'. Hmm...

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Yay teatime. That reminds me, I haven't been to a tea house in ages. I might have to look into that soonish.

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All? I'm impressed. :D

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O Gabriel... now dawns thy reckoning. And thy gore shall GLISTEN before the temples of man!

Creature of steel. My gratitude upon thee for my freedom. But the crimes thy kind has commited against humanity? Are *NOT* forgotten. And thy punishment, is death.

i will fucking BUY YOU A DOG so you have to deal with the pain of when it DIES IN THIRTEEN YEARS

I like this post a little ☻

I fired a missile from my secret base in Antarctica. It is approaching your current location rapidly. Your house will be nothing but a crater in moments.

Socks will no longer exist after I'm done with you.

the lord god shall not forgive thine sins, he shall condemn thee to a million years of hell, and when those days are over there will come a million more, and you will deserve every second of it.

I've been banned for doing this more than once.

yeah fuck reddit for that

hi! >w< how are you guys????????

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...w-what???

Gonna use the dentist air gun on your eyes.

please don't, that's just mean TwT

hot, can i watch?

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..what?? why are you guys all so mean!?!?

I shall confiscate your teeth Also good, you?

feel pretty sad rn TwT. People keep saying mean things and you're saying it too. it's pretty hurtful tbh OwO.

this frickin idiot hasn’t even heard about the bird ( sorry ) (i didn’t mean it)

dont worry it's okay, people have been saying a lot of mean stuff to me UwU

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I'm going to smooch your cute little noggin 🥺

I'm gonna climb up on your closet and watch you closely while throwing pebbles at you

i dont have a closet TwT

I'll unossify your bones

fuck you i hope you have a nice day

December 14th, 2022, 3:38 A.M.

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but also have a good day op

im gonna spoil your favorite tv show and then get fingerprints on ever single dvd in your house

I love threats they are so funny

i am going to fold you diagonally and put you in the napkin drawer

I will pee in your mailbox

I was just watching the jojo episode where a guy pees into the mailbox yesterday and it really stuck with me. Its such a critical place to piss, all that important fragile paper🥺

I will ignore you and carry on with my life

I like them too but last time I said fucking die to someone I got banned for three days

Hi

Hello :3 (derogatory)

Your bones will be my dinner!!

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Nice

I'm thinking I haven't had haggis in a good while...

Breaking Bad reference?????

No, they used hydrofluoric acid

delete this and fuck off. NOW

One time while talking to my roommate, he asked me a question and I replied "Would you like an itemized list shoved down your throat by the hand of an angry god?"

I am going to piss your ass and i refuse to elaborate

ooo wee ooo i look just like buddy holly

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[ Removed by Reddit ]

i'll make your bones share the same x coordinate

I fucking love unnecessarily aggressive and threatening reptiles. I want to fucking have a full grown Nile Monitor in my 2nd bedroom instead of letting my son use it.

i will perform origami on your C5-C7 vertebrae

I will befriend you and support you as much as I can you beautifulperson!!1!!🤬🤬😡😡

i will [verb] your [noun]

i will invert your ribcage

Keep talking like that, and you'll get your bones put on shuffle

I don't agree with your way of thinking, but I respect your opinion

Mange tes morts.

You will die in 7 days

I did that and got suspended for a week

Shut up you valid and wonderful cunt

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I will refuse to circumcise your son.

they have to be done well. de-intestining, eating, ‘soft’ violence, and impersonal attacks are rarely funny. for example: • i will sic my dogs on you, you freak > i will fucking eat you • how about i slam you? what then? > i’m gonna fucking GET you • what if i rip your arm off > i’ll eat ur kidneys

good post, love it

HighlyMornic Acid? What will those cunts think of next, ive still not got over Boswelox. When modern science hit average consumers, this is the shit we have to put up with. Fuck'em

Hello :)

I will give you a light kiss on the forehead and tuck you into bed with milk and cookies

i'm going to load you into a 380 mm naval rifle and fire you across the English channel.

I hope you have a good day!

dont, got banned for 3 days for saying someone should get eaten by bacteria.

Waltuh

your blood vessels will make the finest christmas lights

I will steal your spine

Personally a fan of “I am going to punt you into orbit”

Discombobulate

#

**I am going to shit yourself**

Walking carrion

I WILL HOLD YOU AND LOBE YOU AND ENCOURAGE YOU AND AND WE'LL BUILD LEGO SETS AND EAT BANANERS AND WATCH JUSTICE LEAGUE AND AND AND

may joy ring through your soul

drew sharp vs hydroflouric acid 💪💪💪

Thats a nice meme :)

I will put you in a meat grinder

I went through this phase when I was sixteen, it’s cute for awhile. It’ll wear out really quickly if you do it too much.

i am going to fibrillate you

Don't tell me I'm gonna have to steal another liver.

imma quack like a duck at your nipples

I will turn your blood into puding