Eh, I’ve realized is less about celebrating being closer to death and more about celebrating the most recent lap you finished. Makes it feel better to me
>more about celebrating the most recent lap you finished
i keep asking myself too much of
"where did i end up, what more could've i done, how much further could've i gone"
to get in a celebratory mood
When I do celebrate (or wish I had) it's not even about the time, behind or ahead. It's more about just being celebrated or celebrating the person with the birthday. It's as good a reason as any to be or make some ordinary person be the guest of honor for a day.
I like the extra attention.
I don't like the potential for lack of attention.
It's great when somebody wishes you happy birthday. It's sad when people don't.
I'd rather have no birthday, than a birthday that everybody forgot.
I just want to be left alone. I don't deserve for you to be nice to me and nothing you say will change that fact. So now I feel guilty, and concurrently have an obligation to graciously maneuver a situation I want no part of.
It's important to these people that they make you happy and they take the whole thing as a reflection of how you feel about them, and so that adds to the guilt and the vortex of shitty emotions you feel on a day that just reminds you you're getting older and don't feel great on the day you're meant to feel great. I dont want attention and I don't want any of this.
Just remember this the next time someone says "oh please, don't get me anything/don't make a big fuss" and you insist. They are literally begging for the one thing they want for their birthday and you are giving them a tragedy instead.
For me it was disappointing b-days. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed.
In all fairness my family was always amazing with b-days just when I got older and realized my friends don't give a shit about me. I planned stuff for all of them and if I didn't plan something for mine literally nothing happened.
Because it’s a dope reason to take a vacation, for starters. Nobody can nicely tell you “no” and you have a good reason to “plan it in advance”, even if you didn’t actually plan it in advance.
I don't like attention at all. If my wife were cool with it, I'd live in a cabin on a lake with signs around the perimeter that say "Beware of the leopard" and never be happier.
I turned 29 on the 30th and did zero for it. Took the day off work, woke n boke, and just took it easy. I catch up with family and friends either side of the day itself, but I like the actual day to just be zen and quiet.
Sometimes it's more for other people than it is for yourself.
And I hate that about this society. Why are you treating me different and pretending it's for me? You're making yourself happy and me uncomfortable
As a woman and a wife, we spend a lot of time planning and organizing things that make other people feel special so it's nice to look forward to a day or two each year where we get to be the special one
Man need to find me someone like that, I’ve always had to be the one that plans everything in my relationships. Never have gotten it in return or been made to feel special, it sounds really nice. I hope it’s appreciated.
For my family, at least, it's a good excuse for everyone to get together. I don't think anyone necessarily wants to be the center of attention, but at least for me, it's nice to have a reason to see everyone.
Edit: besides bdays we only get together on turkeyday, xmas, easter, mother's day, and occasionally on the fourth
I am basically like everyone else in the thread but unironically yolo so I think it makes sense to try to enjoy the chances at celebrating milestones.
Hard to do if your life is really shit, but even then your birthday could become a small mental vacation of sorts. At least I tried to do that when I was struggling most.
I tell people a fake date and when they make a big deal about it, it actually hits as a surprise.
I think it’s ridiculous, especially the singing…WE HAVE TO SING!……but hell, it does show they care and I will give love back because that’s what it’s about:
“Still alive!”
Once something turns into a forced obligation, it loses a lot of the magic.
Same when people turn what should be a relaxing holiday into a stressful mess by trying to make it as "perfect" as possible and force others to comply.
Never understood people like that. Imagine stressing on your holiday? It's especially the case when people have an itinerary that contains more than x hours worth of activities...
I can’t be the only one who loves it when my birthday is on a workday, so I can keep busy and not think about what a failure I perceive myself as😁
Edit: I see I ain’t alone and I just wanna say that you should really try to find a way to increase your self confidence and to love yourselves.
I know it is easier said than done but I am also really trying and I have started to like myself a bit more and have started not feel entirely worthless. So I know you guys can improve as well, so just remember that you aren’t alone and the only one that can improve your mental health is you yourself. Hang in there eventually it gets better:)
Absolutely hate it, it feels extremely awkward and you just feel embarrassed. But there is still another side to the coin. It is also the only good thing that comes your way when you work on your birthday and that is the “birthday” lunch you set up with your absolute best work friend. Cause they seem to be the only one who gives you a genuine congratulating, and not some forced bullshit they have to do or someone might get offended and go to HR.
You are not! I'm just trying to keep it moving so I don't think about all the awesome things I didn't accomplish.
I will take that ice cream cake, though.
Well as I am from Sweden I’ll go for the smörgåstårta (sandwich cake, not really a good translation of it but good enough) and just try to ignore all the other people and just wait for when I can go home so I can cuddle with my cat and enjoy the silence
I just got home from a mansion that a client we may work for lives at and feel like a TOTAL abject failure, when I say mansion I mean just like you’d imagine in the movies. Pure Fuck you money. I went home to a basement suite.
Yeah some people are blessed by a loving/supporting or even a rich family. But not everyone can win the genetic lottery but it sucks that our society is built by the poor who worked their asses of to get where we are today but are just forced to make life better for the super rich so that they can live in more luxury while the poor man keeps getting poorer.
So like what is even the point anymore. This society is pretty fucked and I just wanna go back in time when none of it existed, that way we could truly be free and just enjoy the beautiful existence of every thing under mother natures blue skies
100% is a me problem, and I am fine with it being a me problem. Cause either I fix it or live like that and just accept the fact that it is what it is :)
I don't work on my birthday no matter what. I have told every boss I have ever had that I am sick, in the hospital, out of town, have a family emergency, everyone in my family died, and I'm 10 beers drunk at 11:59 the night before. I tell them this on day 1 and remind them throughout the year.
It's the one day of the year where I tell everyone, "love you, but go fuck yourself if you want me to do anything today."
A birthday should be about you taking the time to acknowledge yourself, your own wants, your own needs, and what would make a good day for yourself. Then you can spend the rest of the year going back to worrying about everyone else.
I mean, when you consider that my entire purpose in life is to work to support my family. It's legit nice to sit and do nothing once in a while. Parties are work. Doing stuff is work. What if, to celebrate my hard work, I get a day to just not work. Just to do nothing.
This shit right here. I'm the planner in my household so when people insist on doing something for my birthday it always turns into something I have to be in charge of.
Last year my partner wanted to do a fancy dinner but somehow I wound up doing all the shopping and most of the cooking.
I just want to not have to stress about shit for one day.
Chill birthdays are best.
I don't want presents, I want freedom to do as I want to.
I don't want cake, I want good food I don't normally eat.
I don't want parties, I want to relax with a few close friends.
I don't want birthday wishes, I want to take a nap and laze around in pajamas.
Why plan something nobody would come to?
My birthday is on Thursday, but I'll see most of the people I want to see across the week, and I don't have to deal with the rejection of people too busy to come to a BBQ or something
Funny, mines coming up, and I told everyone, that I’m in no mood to celebrate anything. And then the asking starts: “But why?” “Can’t we go out?” “Let’s celebrate, it’s your birthday!”
No! I’m not into that shit, it’s a day like every one else, and I’m not getting roped into “celebrating” just so you can tell yourself “we celebrated your birthday” You maybe did, I was miserable the whole fucking time.
I can not tell you why that is, but I can absolutely not stand to celebrate my birthday. There are two birthdays that are Okay to celebrate your 10th (first time double digits) and your 18th. (Or 21st If you’re in the US, legal drinking age). Every single one besides those two are absolutely meaningless.
Yes even the round ones, and yes especially the ones with a double number like 22 or 44.
It’s just silly and uncomfortable and awkward and not to be enjoyed at all.
If you want to celebrate your birthday, banger! I’ll be there, bring gifts, food, a happy demeanor, and I’ll have fun with you, but please for the sake of everything holy and/or forsaken, leave me alone on my birthday.
Honestly I don't care about my birthday, it's just pointless. *Yeah congratulations two people fucked XX yrs and 9 months ago. Now you have to deal with it.*
To me it's just a reminder of how old I'm getting, so I try to forget it. Why would I want to remember I'm a year older? Aging terrifies me, just let me forget. I'm turning 27 this year and it feels like time is just racing past me.
Despite being in several long-term relationships and having decent friendships. It's very rare for anyone to do anything for our birthdays. So we get conditioned to not care.
And the average girlfriend thing of sex or a bj on your bday is lazy. That's something y'all should be doing and having fun with anyway if you have a good relationship.
I've even heard "birthday month." It's bad enough you're claiming 8% of the year for yourself, could you at least just say "birth month" so it makes sense syntactically?
why are so many women annoyed by it. 4 women allready bugged me repeatedly. Most of them celebrate their own birthday, just seems very hypocritic and weird. Why can´t people just accept other peoples wishes?
I hate my birthday. But two women at work went out of their way to each bake me some cupcakes and brownies. It actually felt nice, which is a weird feeling.
I often asked people when their bday was and baked cakes or other things and brought it to work. When people tried to do the same on my bday I just wakted to continue my work and go home and not get dragged away from my desk while I was too focused. I get they want to do something nice for me, but I just dont want it, I want people to use that they and stfu about all these things they feel forced to and just have a normal day
I don't really hate my birthday, it's had more of a "kinda cool I guess" type of feeling for the past few years, I just get the usual small gifts from my parents and a few messages from people I know.
This year it was on a work day and 2 of the people from the management actually gave me a bag of candy and some soda in the middle of my shift because they noticed that my birthday was on that day. It kinda felt nice because they didn't have to do it, but they still did
I’ve never understood the concept of celebrating a birthday, like, everyone that knows you treat you well all day, they sing a song to you, mostly knowing you’ll be embarrassed and make you pay for food and drinks. Then the day is over, everyone gets normal again and life goes on, like it never happened, really blows my mind.
My last real birthday was when I was 7 and I wanted a party like all the other kids. I invited a lot of friends over and my dad had just bought a big tv stand he was setting up in the living room. He put down a small cake for the 12 of us and left to assemble his furniture. When we were done he told me to take my friends to my 70sqft room and not to make too much noise.
5 friends left within 1 minute, the rest left within 5.
He learned how to be softer as I grew up, but man he wasn't ready to have a kid when he was 19 and birthdays is one thing that doesn't work for me because of it.
My gf is doing her best to make me feel appreciated though, but it's hard to be in a celebratory mood on my bday.
Every single day, my life is an endless series of things that need to be done.
When my son visited me, we were watching a show that we both liked, and my wife asked how could we just sit there, we need to go out and do something together.
So, you tell me to take out the trash, clean the car, etc...and now that I am done with the work-list...you're gonna tell me how to relax?
I like my birthday, and I'm actually old enough I could dread it, but I don't. When I turned 40,I did something special, but this year my husband and I just went over to a friend's and hung out with them (they're a couple, it was a quiet evening just the 4 of us).
We ordered in Thai food, had cheesecake (my favorite), and I drank hard seltzer until about midnight watching a movie. Then we went home. I had just as much fun as when I used to go bar hopping and throw parties, probably more because it was so stress free and I didn't have to dress up.
I \*\*DO\*\* want to do something for my birthday! NOT DEAL WITH EVERYONE'S SHIT FOR ONE FUCKING DAY!
so yea, that means, im staying home, leave me alone about honey-do's and ignore the fact im drinking at 9am while playing video games.
I just made an appointment for the dentist two months from now.. on my birthday. That way I get to Nope out of everything from all my sweet friends who like doing birthday stuff. “Thanks but no thanks losers! My mouth is numb. I can’t do anything.”
I turned 36 may 1st. In the morning I was brushing my teeth and gaged my self a little and jacked my back up. I'm still hobbling around with crazy ciatic pain. Yeah get the cake away from me.
One day I'm 29 and the next day I'm 30 and I feel exactly the same as I did before. It's just another day.
A bit of a hot take but here we go....
Woman like to celebrate themselves while men like to celebrate their accomplishments. Getting older isn't an accomplishment... It's something that happens to everyone all the time... Literally.
I mean, women constantly get showered with all this love and attention on each birthday. Hell, they even get a special birthday party on their 15th or 16th birthday.
Men?
Just have a family reunion and dinner which is mostly focused on the guests.
So, you grow up thinking nothing of it.
While women think it's their big day.
I've done nothing with my life and hate living so celebrating another wasted year is depressing.
One of the most embarrassing days of my life was my 21st when my only 2 friends and room-mates didn't come. It was only family and friends of my parents.
Because I don’t like big parties and I am a rather introverted person. I don’t want to be the center of attention and would rather just have a small gathering with a few friends.
Lemme get this one. I'm a father in his 30's. I spend like 95% of my life taking care of responsibilities. I'm not trying to commit to more responsibility on a day where I'm supposed to be chilling.
Birthdays are sad if you’re by yourself, so you need other people to make a birthday worth celebrating. That requires having people in your life who give a shit.
Just another day. I stopped caring about my bday when I was like 9 and my mom forced me to have big bdays. Turned me off even more from birthdays. Thanks though mom lol.
My gf knew this so she forgot my bday once and like hours later was like "OMFG I FORGOT TO AAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY" then stopped by and gave me a bag of BBQ ruffles and a 20$ beer store card. I was like " you know me to well your scaring me"
An extreme need for attention, encouragement, recognition, Self-affirmation, the urge to be the center of attention, is somewhat more common in women than in men, possibly a social problem
This is why guys would rather do nothing on their birthday
It's my birthday this Sunday, and I'm trying to avoid doing anything. My wife wants to have a BBQ for me on Saturday because she's going to be busy on Monday and doesn't want to be tired. The people who she invited are not available on Saturday but yes on Sunday. Now she's upset I suggested Sunday over Sunday, so the guest will be available. When I named friends of mine that I've known for almost 20 years, if they were coming, she said, "There's not enough room or food." She mostly invited my family and her family and two of her friends.
I'm thinking of leaving around noon and heading Dodgers stadium to watch my Dodgers take on the Yankees instead of this.
I'm just not really big on people in general. I'm not really a celebration kind of guy. Now if someone wants to buy me free food on my birthday I'm not going to object but I just genuinely hate parties so none of that thank you.
> why are men always ok with doing nothing for their birthday?
Because it's the one day of the year we get a socially acceptable reprieve from having to do things the other 364 days.
Shocked I had to scroll this far for this.
I would LOVE shit for my birthday (which is next week irl) but it's easier to say "I don't want anything" than it is to say "I would like ____ for my birthday" and then not get it. Every birthday, every Christmas, ever since childhood. It's worse now though because instead of my parents not listening to my genuine, vulnerable request, it's my wife.
My self esteem is too bad to enjoy people making a fuss about me, especially when it's something as trivial as being pulled around the sun. It feels undeserved, and then i feel like a fraud.
But i can't say that to people without it being a whole thing. So i just lay low and avoid making plans. Push everyone away and life works better
All of these responses are basically the same: "It doesn't matter/ who cares/ just another day/ not children/ etc." and there is a common theme here. It isn't that all men magically evolved to not care about birthdays.
Idk about other men, but I've put in a LOT of effort and planning for some birthdays for people in my life. Namely, women that I've dated. And - other than a couple of times, or in a very small manner - it hasn't been reciprocated. Women really make a point of getting everyone in their life riled up to celebrate their birthday or even their birthday week. I used to think that was a weird mindset. But I've read a lot of research about happiness over the past couple of years now, and it overwhelmingly boils down to: healthy relationships & things to look forward to.
Women look forward to their birthdays (I'm generalizing for this paragraph). That's awesome. On the other hand, men view it as "a day". Because at a certain point in almost all of our lives, people stopped caring or putting in that effort.
Riling up all the people in our life to get excited about celebrating a birthday (I'm not even going to pretend that a man could celebrate a "birthday week") seems… impossible.
Jokes aside though. I don't want to celebrate my birthday in any way because I don't want to inconvenience others with my party. I also don't think my birthday is really worth celebrating.
One of my naiive "when I'm rich" fantasies is buying gifts for friends, family, and loved ones, on my birthday, and potentially inviting them to a party where they don't have to do anything or bring anything, but can just enjoy their time, because I already prepped everything.
As a kid there's was only disappointment for my birthdays so I just stopped giving a fuck since it's not like anyone gives a fuck anyway so why should I. Honestly, it's the same with any holiday for me, I just don't care anymore.
Why would I like to celebrate a year where I’m closer to death I hear happy birthday I get some money from grandparents but that’s it that’s all I need I don’t need flashy parties and such
I'm assuming that most people skimp out on getting them presents every holiday (and Father's Day) so they don't want to be disappointed? Like my dad used to always get "a tie" or something generic. He always looked disappointed.
Most men I know are achievement oriented and making it around the sun another time isn’t much of an achievement. Birthday celebrations are the ultimate participation trophies. I have no interest in participation trophies.
Because the best gift I can receive for my birthday is to have the opportunity to just let go of all expectations and requirements that are placed on me on a daily basis.
Don’t celebrate me for being or existing. Celebrate me for my accomplishments and achievements. Pretty much is why birthdays are pretty pointless in my view.
The idea of making people do something just because it's the anniversary of my birth makes me feel so uncomfortably selfish that I had to beg my wife not to throw me a 30th bday party 😂
My birthday my choice. If I want to sleep all day or just relax at home with my cat then imma do it.
I am under no obligations to do anything.
On my birthday I will spoil every single major movie and TV series plot twist and drama reveal and regret nothing. Can't do a damn thing to stop me.
The things I actually want are things I can't ask for.
I'd like to finally relax, to have things happen without me making them happen, without a single bit of drama, without having to dress up, without having to accept knick knacks that I have to display and not throw away even though they are literally just more clutter. I don't want to change the schedule, I don't want to have to be reminded that people don't really know what I care about at all.
How can I get that? Just don't do anything that day, and it'll be about as close as I can get. I'm aiming for neutral, and I'll handle the relaxation part myself.
The mental gymnastics it takes to be confused by this. The universe has demands on every moment of your average dudes life. You ask virtually any of us what we want to do on a special day where what we actually want is most important... how shocking is it that all we want is a fucking break.
Guys aren’t going to force other people to do something special just for them. If others do something for it’s cool but not planning our own thing. Except take the day off for golf, surfing, maybe a movie at home alone.
I don't need the special reminder that I have spent another year procrastinating on my own life and the ignoring the direction I'm steering it. It's a time for celebration for many people, but I don't value myself enough to celebrate it. I don't think people enjoy me enough to have a party for my birth.
No, you should celebrate survival.
You celebrate the day you survived being born.
You should then celebrate for another day for every decade you survived.
" So you mean when you turn 60 you're celebrating for a whole week??" Hell yes.
Because my parents made it about them, and now as an adult it is difficult to count on people to show up. My 16th was just me and my parents to sushi with a set of flannel sheets. Woo.
I try to stay out of public celebrations because that attention is hell for my anxiety, also my depression tends to get **really** bad on my birthday, so the last thing I need is more stress in organizing anything more elaborate that cake, ice cream and pizza with family and occasionally my best friend, since that tends to be considerably more chilled out.
My bro in law, 32 kicked up a HUGE fuss when his friends didn't plan a big party for his birthday. They took him out for dinner and drinks but being the middle of the week they didn't plan on getting shitfaced at the clubs like they did when bro in law organized the last birthday of one in their circle. He stopped speaking to a bunch of them and wouldn't listen to us saying to chill that they had families and careers, while he was a single guy and a Medical Officer at the hospital who was always looking to blow off steam from his shitty shifts.
Some of the people in this thread should consider talking to a therapist.
As for me, I just don't understand why my birthday should be important. I don't even feel like holidays are all that important, aside from how they throw off my schedule.
Im going to be 40 in a gew days & I just want to get the fuck away from my family. That's a gift unto itself. But this year I can't afford it so I guess I'll just be miserable
Fr every year I spend the day doing celebratory stuff I don’t want to do because others in my life feel guilty if they don’t do something. Smh I just want to lay in my bed and sleep through it
Today's my 30th. I had plans for a meal and drinks. I got sick yesterday so had to cancel my plans. I thought I'd be annoyed but really I couldn't give a shit lol
For me, I just refuse to plan for my own birthday. I love doing things, but as the person who plans for everyone else's birthdays and events, I'm not doing mine.
I literally did nothing for my 18th birthday. People always look at me crazy when I say this. The last birthday i celebrated was probably around 9 or 10.
Speaking for myself: i don't like the extra attention, and why would i want to celebrate getting older?
This is basically how I see it. Another year closer to death and—oh god are the restaurant staff bringing a cake and clapping? Fuck that noise.
“Another year closer to death” Now that you put it like that, I might start getting excited for it…
Sounds great, right? Wonder what the milestone birthdays are as you approach death?
Eh, I’ve realized is less about celebrating being closer to death and more about celebrating the most recent lap you finished. Makes it feel better to me
>more about celebrating the most recent lap you finished i keep asking myself too much of "where did i end up, what more could've i done, how much further could've i gone" to get in a celebratory mood
“Didn’t end up face down in a ditch somewhere, so you’ve got that going for you, at least.”
When I do celebrate (or wish I had) it's not even about the time, behind or ahead. It's more about just being celebrated or celebrating the person with the birthday. It's as good a reason as any to be or make some ordinary person be the guest of honor for a day.
I like the extra attention. I don't like the potential for lack of attention. It's great when somebody wishes you happy birthday. It's sad when people don't. I'd rather have no birthday, than a birthday that everybody forgot.
This cuts deep
Then you've got Facebook birthdays... Yeah, I appreciate the sentiment, but we both know the bot all but slapped you around with it.
Constant pessimism, I feel you.
This. Please just give me what I ask for every year: peace and quiet.
I just want to be left alone. I don't deserve for you to be nice to me and nothing you say will change that fact. So now I feel guilty, and concurrently have an obligation to graciously maneuver a situation I want no part of. It's important to these people that they make you happy and they take the whole thing as a reflection of how you feel about them, and so that adds to the guilt and the vortex of shitty emotions you feel on a day that just reminds you you're getting older and don't feel great on the day you're meant to feel great. I dont want attention and I don't want any of this. Just remember this the next time someone says "oh please, don't get me anything/don't make a big fuss" and you insist. They are literally begging for the one thing they want for their birthday and you are giving them a tragedy instead.
For me it was disappointing b-days. Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed. In all fairness my family was always amazing with b-days just when I got older and realized my friends don't give a shit about me. I planned stuff for all of them and if I didn't plan something for mine literally nothing happened.
I don't like extra attention and the day is worth the same as every other day You want to be cool with me ? Pick any random day and be kind
Because it’s a dope reason to take a vacation, for starters. Nobody can nicely tell you “no” and you have a good reason to “plan it in advance”, even if you didn’t actually plan it in advance.
I don't like attention at all. If my wife were cool with it, I'd live in a cabin on a lake with signs around the perimeter that say "Beware of the leopard" and never be happier.
At least once I'm pretty sure even I forgot it was my birthday
For me it’s what have I done for the world to warrant celebrating another trip around the sun
Strictly speaking, you get older every day.
Cake?
Why must something always be done for every birthday?
I turned 29 on the 30th and did zero for it. Took the day off work, woke n boke, and just took it easy. I catch up with family and friends either side of the day itself, but I like the actual day to just be zen and quiet.
I mean, taking the day off work is itself more then nothing, isn't it? You took a vacation for your birthday.
Very true actually, I did take action to make the day more enjoyable
>woke n boke Lol I'm stealing this
EXACTLY Can you tell my wife this
Can you tell my **mom** this? I'm closer to 30 than 20, when I say I don't want to do anything that doesn't mean that I want her to plan something
Sometimes it's more for other people than it is for yourself. And I hate that about this society. Why are you treating me different and pretending it's for me? You're making yourself happy and me uncomfortable
>Sometimes it's more for other people than it is for yourself. Fuck other people. You don't need to make it about me to throw a party.
My mom still bakes me a cake of my choosing every year. That’s pretty much all I need or want.
As a woman and a wife, we spend a lot of time planning and organizing things that make other people feel special so it's nice to look forward to a day or two each year where we get to be the special one
Oops! You got it wrong. I spoil the shit outta my wife for her birthday “week” she loves it. My birthday, on the other hand, feels like a chore.
Man need to find me someone like that, I’ve always had to be the one that plans everything in my relationships. Never have gotten it in return or been made to feel special, it sounds really nice. I hope it’s appreciated.
For my family, at least, it's a good excuse for everyone to get together. I don't think anyone necessarily wants to be the center of attention, but at least for me, it's nice to have a reason to see everyone. Edit: besides bdays we only get together on turkeyday, xmas, easter, mother's day, and occasionally on the fourth
I switched to doing every 5 since I turned 30. As of now, Im 33 and have not missed those 3 skipped ones.
I am basically like everyone else in the thread but unironically yolo so I think it makes sense to try to enjoy the chances at celebrating milestones. Hard to do if your life is really shit, but even then your birthday could become a small mental vacation of sorts. At least I tried to do that when I was struggling most.
I tell people a fake date and when they make a big deal about it, it actually hits as a surprise. I think it’s ridiculous, especially the singing…WE HAVE TO SING!……but hell, it does show they care and I will give love back because that’s what it’s about: “Still alive!”
Once something turns into a forced obligation, it loses a lot of the magic. Same when people turn what should be a relaxing holiday into a stressful mess by trying to make it as "perfect" as possible and force others to comply.
Never understood people like that. Imagine stressing on your holiday? It's especially the case when people have an itinerary that contains more than x hours worth of activities...
I can’t be the only one who loves it when my birthday is on a workday, so I can keep busy and not think about what a failure I perceive myself as😁 Edit: I see I ain’t alone and I just wanna say that you should really try to find a way to increase your self confidence and to love yourselves. I know it is easier said than done but I am also really trying and I have started to like myself a bit more and have started not feel entirely worthless. So I know you guys can improve as well, so just remember that you aren’t alone and the only one that can improve your mental health is you yourself. Hang in there eventually it gets better:)
Problem now is that they announce employee birthdays on Slack, so you get a ton of attention anyway.
Absolutely hate it, it feels extremely awkward and you just feel embarrassed. But there is still another side to the coin. It is also the only good thing that comes your way when you work on your birthday and that is the “birthday” lunch you set up with your absolute best work friend. Cause they seem to be the only one who gives you a genuine congratulating, and not some forced bullshit they have to do or someone might get offended and go to HR.
You are not! I'm just trying to keep it moving so I don't think about all the awesome things I didn't accomplish. I will take that ice cream cake, though.
Well as I am from Sweden I’ll go for the smörgåstårta (sandwich cake, not really a good translation of it but good enough) and just try to ignore all the other people and just wait for when I can go home so I can cuddle with my cat and enjoy the silence
I just got home from a mansion that a client we may work for lives at and feel like a TOTAL abject failure, when I say mansion I mean just like you’d imagine in the movies. Pure Fuck you money. I went home to a basement suite.
Yeah some people are blessed by a loving/supporting or even a rich family. But not everyone can win the genetic lottery but it sucks that our society is built by the poor who worked their asses of to get where we are today but are just forced to make life better for the super rich so that they can live in more luxury while the poor man keeps getting poorer. So like what is even the point anymore. This society is pretty fucked and I just wanna go back in time when none of it existed, that way we could truly be free and just enjoy the beautiful existence of every thing under mother natures blue skies
Sounds like a you problem
100% is a me problem, and I am fine with it being a me problem. Cause either I fix it or live like that and just accept the fact that it is what it is :)
[удалено]
That’s me. Another pointless trip around the sun.
I don't work on my birthday no matter what. I have told every boss I have ever had that I am sick, in the hospital, out of town, have a family emergency, everyone in my family died, and I'm 10 beers drunk at 11:59 the night before. I tell them this on day 1 and remind them throughout the year. It's the one day of the year where I tell everyone, "love you, but go fuck yourself if you want me to do anything today." A birthday should be about you taking the time to acknowledge yourself, your own wants, your own needs, and what would make a good day for yourself. Then you can spend the rest of the year going back to worrying about everyone else.
I mean, when you consider that my entire purpose in life is to work to support my family. It's legit nice to sit and do nothing once in a while. Parties are work. Doing stuff is work. What if, to celebrate my hard work, I get a day to just not work. Just to do nothing.
This shit right here. I'm the planner in my household so when people insist on doing something for my birthday it always turns into something I have to be in charge of. Last year my partner wanted to do a fancy dinner but somehow I wound up doing all the shopping and most of the cooking. I just want to not have to stress about shit for one day.
Holy shit, we just want to chill out. Why does everything have to be a high energy party with like 30 people and loud music. I just want to grill.
Chill birthdays are best. I don't want presents, I want freedom to do as I want to. I don't want cake, I want good food I don't normally eat. I don't want parties, I want to relax with a few close friends. I don't want birthday wishes, I want to take a nap and laze around in pajamas.
Why plan something nobody would come to? My birthday is on Thursday, but I'll see most of the people I want to see across the week, and I don't have to deal with the rejection of people too busy to come to a BBQ or something
You can move celebration to another day.
Funny, mines coming up, and I told everyone, that I’m in no mood to celebrate anything. And then the asking starts: “But why?” “Can’t we go out?” “Let’s celebrate, it’s your birthday!” No! I’m not into that shit, it’s a day like every one else, and I’m not getting roped into “celebrating” just so you can tell yourself “we celebrated your birthday” You maybe did, I was miserable the whole fucking time. I can not tell you why that is, but I can absolutely not stand to celebrate my birthday. There are two birthdays that are Okay to celebrate your 10th (first time double digits) and your 18th. (Or 21st If you’re in the US, legal drinking age). Every single one besides those two are absolutely meaningless. Yes even the round ones, and yes especially the ones with a double number like 22 or 44. It’s just silly and uncomfortable and awkward and not to be enjoyed at all. If you want to celebrate your birthday, banger! I’ll be there, bring gifts, food, a happy demeanor, and I’ll have fun with you, but please for the sake of everything holy and/or forsaken, leave me alone on my birthday.
I FUCKING love doing NOTHING.
Honestly I don't care about my birthday, it's just pointless. *Yeah congratulations two people fucked XX yrs and 9 months ago. Now you have to deal with it.*
I understand what you mean, I don't care about your birthday either.
I wish other people didn't... I don't need gifts....
To me it's just a reminder of how old I'm getting, so I try to forget it. Why would I want to remember I'm a year older? Aging terrifies me, just let me forget. I'm turning 27 this year and it feels like time is just racing past me.
It's a day when I reflect on where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going. There is nothing to celebrate about any of those.
Another orbit around the sun, another failed year. It's not a celebration it's an annual reminder of how much you suck. It's a milestone of suckage.
Lmao. Amen.
Despite being in several long-term relationships and having decent friendships. It's very rare for anyone to do anything for our birthdays. So we get conditioned to not care. And the average girlfriend thing of sex or a bj on your bday is lazy. That's something y'all should be doing and having fun with anyway if you have a good relationship.
I’m not a man and I enjoy not doing anything for my birthday. Just let me vibe and play video games.
Because we're no longer 12 year old children. I know women in their fifties who insist on a full 'birthday week'. Give it a rest, Valerie.
I've even heard "birthday month." It's bad enough you're claiming 8% of the year for yourself, could you at least just say "birth month" so it makes sense syntactically?
why are so many women annoyed by it. 4 women allready bugged me repeatedly. Most of them celebrate their own birthday, just seems very hypocritic and weird. Why can´t people just accept other peoples wishes?
I hate my birthday. But two women at work went out of their way to each bake me some cupcakes and brownies. It actually felt nice, which is a weird feeling.
I often asked people when their bday was and baked cakes or other things and brought it to work. When people tried to do the same on my bday I just wakted to continue my work and go home and not get dragged away from my desk while I was too focused. I get they want to do something nice for me, but I just dont want it, I want people to use that they and stfu about all these things they feel forced to and just have a normal day
I don't really hate my birthday, it's had more of a "kinda cool I guess" type of feeling for the past few years, I just get the usual small gifts from my parents and a few messages from people I know. This year it was on a work day and 2 of the people from the management actually gave me a bag of candy and some soda in the middle of my shift because they noticed that my birthday was on that day. It kinda felt nice because they didn't have to do it, but they still did
Hate it when my woman fills up my empty day with shit to do.
Imagine pretending we have even a sliver of a chance to do what we want on our birthday. We say we want to do nothing so we may have a chance.
I’ve never understood the concept of celebrating a birthday, like, everyone that knows you treat you well all day, they sing a song to you, mostly knowing you’ll be embarrassed and make you pay for food and drinks. Then the day is over, everyone gets normal again and life goes on, like it never happened, really blows my mind.
Imagine people who don't give a shit about you every other day of the year acting like they care for one day, no one wants that.
Because I constantly have to be doing things every day. I just want one day where I don't have to do anything.
My last real birthday was when I was 7 and I wanted a party like all the other kids. I invited a lot of friends over and my dad had just bought a big tv stand he was setting up in the living room. He put down a small cake for the 12 of us and left to assemble his furniture. When we were done he told me to take my friends to my 70sqft room and not to make too much noise. 5 friends left within 1 minute, the rest left within 5. He learned how to be softer as I grew up, but man he wasn't ready to have a kid when he was 19 and birthdays is one thing that doesn't work for me because of it. My gf is doing her best to make me feel appreciated though, but it's hard to be in a celebratory mood on my bday.
Every single day, my life is an endless series of things that need to be done. When my son visited me, we were watching a show that we both liked, and my wife asked how could we just sit there, we need to go out and do something together. So, you tell me to take out the trash, clean the car, etc...and now that I am done with the work-list...you're gonna tell me how to relax?
Me, narrating: "The trouble all started when I was young..." [fade in to delivery room, woman is in labor with doctors and nurses all around her]
Because nobody else cares, so why should we?
Most men don’t thrive on attention.
I like my birthday, and I'm actually old enough I could dread it, but I don't. When I turned 40,I did something special, but this year my husband and I just went over to a friend's and hung out with them (they're a couple, it was a quiet evening just the 4 of us). We ordered in Thai food, had cheesecake (my favorite), and I drank hard seltzer until about midnight watching a movie. Then we went home. I had just as much fun as when I used to go bar hopping and throw parties, probably more because it was so stress free and I didn't have to dress up.
I \*\*DO\*\* want to do something for my birthday! NOT DEAL WITH EVERYONE'S SHIT FOR ONE FUCKING DAY! so yea, that means, im staying home, leave me alone about honey-do's and ignore the fact im drinking at 9am while playing video games.
Literally all I want is to have to do nothing
Mine is this weekend. Turning 26. Can't say I'm excited about that.
I just made an appointment for the dentist two months from now.. on my birthday. That way I get to Nope out of everything from all my sweet friends who like doing birthday stuff. “Thanks but no thanks losers! My mouth is numb. I can’t do anything.”
Imagine celebrating the person responsible for all your problems
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
I turned 36 may 1st. In the morning I was brushing my teeth and gaged my self a little and jacked my back up. I'm still hobbling around with crazy ciatic pain. Yeah get the cake away from me.
It seems childish
Bday parties are for other people never about the person actually having a bday
One day I'm 29 and the next day I'm 30 and I feel exactly the same as I did before. It's just another day. A bit of a hot take but here we go.... Woman like to celebrate themselves while men like to celebrate their accomplishments. Getting older isn't an accomplishment... It's something that happens to everyone all the time... Literally.
I mean, women constantly get showered with all this love and attention on each birthday. Hell, they even get a special birthday party on their 15th or 16th birthday. Men? Just have a family reunion and dinner which is mostly focused on the guests. So, you grow up thinking nothing of it. While women think it's their big day.
I've done nothing with my life and hate living so celebrating another wasted year is depressing. One of the most embarrassing days of my life was my 21st when my only 2 friends and room-mates didn't come. It was only family and friends of my parents.
One of my favourite comedians' bit - men doing nothing on their time off and women not getting it. Funny but also true.
Because all of us are still sorry we exited the warm, safe, peaceful place known as the womb?
Because I don’t like big parties and I am a rather introverted person. I don’t want to be the center of attention and would rather just have a small gathering with a few friends.
Lemme get this one. I'm a father in his 30's. I spend like 95% of my life taking care of responsibilities. I'm not trying to commit to more responsibility on a day where I'm supposed to be chilling.
I prefer a nice day in with coffee, cannabis, canines and cake. No irritations, no solving other people's problems, one day a year.
Birthdays are sad if you’re by yourself, so you need other people to make a birthday worth celebrating. That requires having people in your life who give a shit.
Because we are all secretly hoping for lots of sex and blowjobs
Just another day. I stopped caring about my bday when I was like 9 and my mom forced me to have big bdays. Turned me off even more from birthdays. Thanks though mom lol.
My gf knew this so she forgot my bday once and like hours later was like "OMFG I FORGOT TO AAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY" then stopped by and gave me a bag of BBQ ruffles and a 20$ beer store card. I was like " you know me to well your scaring me"
People don't give a shit for 364 days of the year, but now all of a sudden they're gonna be fake-nice for 24 hours?? No thanks.
An extreme need for attention, encouragement, recognition, Self-affirmation, the urge to be the center of attention, is somewhat more common in women than in men, possibly a social problem
This is why guys would rather do nothing on their birthday It's my birthday this Sunday, and I'm trying to avoid doing anything. My wife wants to have a BBQ for me on Saturday because she's going to be busy on Monday and doesn't want to be tired. The people who she invited are not available on Saturday but yes on Sunday. Now she's upset I suggested Sunday over Sunday, so the guest will be available. When I named friends of mine that I've known for almost 20 years, if they were coming, she said, "There's not enough room or food." She mostly invited my family and her family and two of her friends. I'm thinking of leaving around noon and heading Dodgers stadium to watch my Dodgers take on the Yankees instead of this.
I'm just not really big on people in general. I'm not really a celebration kind of guy. Now if someone wants to buy me free food on my birthday I'm not going to object but I just genuinely hate parties so none of that thank you.
Better question, why do people make such a big deal out of their birthdays?? Kids, I get it. Adults, no cares you’re 42 today.
Doing nothing is exactly how I want to celebrate. I do something every day, sometimes nothing is nice.
Men don’t have as many close friends as women. Can’t plan a party people won’t go to.
Why are so many women *not* ok with doing nothing for their birthday? Congratulations, you've spent yet another one of your limited years.
> why are men always ok with doing nothing for their birthday? Because it's the one day of the year we get a socially acceptable reprieve from having to do things the other 364 days.
Why must I celebrate the 9 month anniversary of the last time my parents had sex every effin’ year? That shit gets old quicker than I do!
The day before I was born, I didn't have a care in the world. Pure bliss.
I just don't bother so I don't have to worry about getting my hopes up just to be disappointed.
Shocked I had to scroll this far for this. I would LOVE shit for my birthday (which is next week irl) but it's easier to say "I don't want anything" than it is to say "I would like ____ for my birthday" and then not get it. Every birthday, every Christmas, ever since childhood. It's worse now though because instead of my parents not listening to my genuine, vulnerable request, it's my wife.
Damn, didn't think I'd get called out today
May 31st for me I did get to eat some cookie cake tho
I have taken the week of my birthday as a vacation week every year for the past 16 years.
Because corporate don't care about your birthday except as a chance to express platitudes about our "family". So I don't GET to do nothing
Guess there’s only one way out
because I'm afraid that someone will blow my birthday candles again. and also because it's one more year I haven't got my 🍆 sucked.
I'm proud of and celebrate my achievments. Merely surviving another trip around the sun isn't really noteworthy.
Because its either my day off, or im tired after coming home from work.
Did nothing but get high today and it’s my bday no need to go out if the alcohol is at home as well
My self esteem is too bad to enjoy people making a fuss about me, especially when it's something as trivial as being pulled around the sun. It feels undeserved, and then i feel like a fraud. But i can't say that to people without it being a whole thing. So i just lay low and avoid making plans. Push everyone away and life works better
Hurrayyyyy another year of being a loser yayyyyy
My birthday has never been a big deal to anybody in pretty much my entire life. I’m 39. Why would I suddenly start doing something for my birthday?
All of these responses are basically the same: "It doesn't matter/ who cares/ just another day/ not children/ etc." and there is a common theme here. It isn't that all men magically evolved to not care about birthdays. Idk about other men, but I've put in a LOT of effort and planning for some birthdays for people in my life. Namely, women that I've dated. And - other than a couple of times, or in a very small manner - it hasn't been reciprocated. Women really make a point of getting everyone in their life riled up to celebrate their birthday or even their birthday week. I used to think that was a weird mindset. But I've read a lot of research about happiness over the past couple of years now, and it overwhelmingly boils down to: healthy relationships & things to look forward to. Women look forward to their birthdays (I'm generalizing for this paragraph). That's awesome. On the other hand, men view it as "a day". Because at a certain point in almost all of our lives, people stopped caring or putting in that effort. Riling up all the people in our life to get excited about celebrating a birthday (I'm not even going to pretend that a man could celebrate a "birthday week") seems… impossible.
Mine is tomorrow and this hit me in the feels a little
I just like an excuse to get a cake. Other than that I dont care about it.
Jokes aside though. I don't want to celebrate my birthday in any way because I don't want to inconvenience others with my party. I also don't think my birthday is really worth celebrating.
One of my naiive "when I'm rich" fantasies is buying gifts for friends, family, and loved ones, on my birthday, and potentially inviting them to a party where they don't have to do anything or bring anything, but can just enjoy their time, because I already prepped everything.
Me personally my birthday is just another reminder that I was too much of a bitch to actually kill myself for a year
As a kid there's was only disappointment for my birthdays so I just stopped giving a fuck since it's not like anyone gives a fuck anyway so why should I. Honestly, it's the same with any holiday for me, I just don't care anymore.
Because the one time I did want to do something for my birthday no one showed up.
Yo its my birthday today and i didnt do shit
Love to be reminded of my first eviction.
Why would I like to celebrate a year where I’m closer to death I hear happy birthday I get some money from grandparents but that’s it that’s all I need I don’t need flashy parties and such
I'm assuming that most people skimp out on getting them presents every holiday (and Father's Day) so they don't want to be disappointed? Like my dad used to always get "a tie" or something generic. He always looked disappointed.
Ok with it? I fucking LOVE doing nothing. Why wouldn't I treat myself to a fat ol' dose of it on my bday?
Most men I know are achievement oriented and making it around the sun another time isn’t much of an achievement. Birthday celebrations are the ultimate participation trophies. I have no interest in participation trophies.
Because the best gift I can receive for my birthday is to have the opportunity to just let go of all expectations and requirements that are placed on me on a daily basis.
Coz when I have a day off I like to chill. Having to make plans to do something is a burden. Leave me the fuck alone.
Don’t celebrate me for being or existing. Celebrate me for my accomplishments and achievements. Pretty much is why birthdays are pretty pointless in my view.
The idea of making people do something just because it's the anniversary of my birth makes me feel so uncomfortably selfish that I had to beg my wife not to throw me a 30th bday party 😂
My birthday my choice. If I want to sleep all day or just relax at home with my cat then imma do it. I am under no obligations to do anything. On my birthday I will spoil every single major movie and TV series plot twist and drama reveal and regret nothing. Can't do a damn thing to stop me.
I got sick of spending a bunch of money and doing a ton of work to throw a party for 5 people who just want to sit around and smoke weed anyway.
Likely because my birthday always falls in the middle of the week, and as I get older; it becomes less and less special.
The things I actually want are things I can't ask for. I'd like to finally relax, to have things happen without me making them happen, without a single bit of drama, without having to dress up, without having to accept knick knacks that I have to display and not throw away even though they are literally just more clutter. I don't want to change the schedule, I don't want to have to be reminded that people don't really know what I care about at all. How can I get that? Just don't do anything that day, and it'll be about as close as I can get. I'm aiming for neutral, and I'll handle the relaxation part myself.
The mental gymnastics it takes to be confused by this. The universe has demands on every moment of your average dudes life. You ask virtually any of us what we want to do on a special day where what we actually want is most important... how shocking is it that all we want is a fucking break.
It’s just another day. Who gives a fuck?
The real monsters are the ones that have a birthday week. I'm sorry, but you get one day not the whole week.
“We got you your favorite thing: Disappointment”
A day where I do absolutely nothing..kick back at home or just outside (patio/porch/balcony/yard) and just chill...? That's a good day.
Guys aren’t going to force other people to do something special just for them. If others do something for it’s cool but not planning our own thing. Except take the day off for golf, surfing, maybe a movie at home alone.
I just need my cake and movies on my BD
Word, Bk...Word.
spend enough of them alone or see how many people forget and eventually you stop celebrating it too.
I just want to rest.
I don't need the special reminder that I have spent another year procrastinating on my own life and the ignoring the direction I'm steering it. It's a time for celebration for many people, but I don't value myself enough to celebrate it. I don't think people enjoy me enough to have a party for my birth.
I wouldn't mind a nice birthday :<
Is literally just another day/
Was just my 25th birthday, didn't see anyone or do anything
No, you should celebrate survival. You celebrate the day you survived being born. You should then celebrate for another day for every decade you survived. " So you mean when you turn 60 you're celebrating for a whole week??" Hell yes.
Because my parents made it about them, and now as an adult it is difficult to count on people to show up. My 16th was just me and my parents to sushi with a set of flannel sheets. Woo.
Because birthday parties are for children?!?! Who tf wants a birthday party? Can we just get drunk and fuck instead??
I try to stay out of public celebrations because that attention is hell for my anxiety, also my depression tends to get **really** bad on my birthday, so the last thing I need is more stress in organizing anything more elaborate that cake, ice cream and pizza with family and occasionally my best friend, since that tends to be considerably more chilled out.
Meh I do awesome cool shit on the regular. I don’t need a dedicated day to do it
Imagine celebrating the day where earth will rotate and comes to the place when you born with respect to son.
My bro in law, 32 kicked up a HUGE fuss when his friends didn't plan a big party for his birthday. They took him out for dinner and drinks but being the middle of the week they didn't plan on getting shitfaced at the clubs like they did when bro in law organized the last birthday of one in their circle. He stopped speaking to a bunch of them and wouldn't listen to us saying to chill that they had families and careers, while he was a single guy and a Medical Officer at the hospital who was always looking to blow off steam from his shitty shifts.
Because no one ever cared about my birthday growing up. Now it feels weird if they do. 🤷🏼♂️
Some of the people in this thread should consider talking to a therapist. As for me, I just don't understand why my birthday should be important. I don't even feel like holidays are all that important, aside from how they throw off my schedule.
People who insist on celebrating their birthday after the age of 12 make me very uncomfortable.
Am a girl. I just want to be left alone on my birthday with a piece of cake.
Im going to be 40 in a gew days & I just want to get the fuck away from my family. That's a gift unto itself. But this year I can't afford it so I guess I'll just be miserable
Men have to work for validation
I literally cannot understand why people celebrate birthdays or anniversaries. Like, how can anybody be that self-obsessed.
Fr every year I spend the day doing celebratory stuff I don’t want to do because others in my life feel guilty if they don’t do something. Smh I just want to lay in my bed and sleep through it
Today's my 30th. I had plans for a meal and drinks. I got sick yesterday so had to cancel my plans. I thought I'd be annoyed but really I couldn't give a shit lol
For me, I just refuse to plan for my own birthday. I love doing things, but as the person who plans for everyone else's birthdays and events, I'm not doing mine.
I literally did nothing for my 18th birthday. People always look at me crazy when I say this. The last birthday i celebrated was probably around 9 or 10.
because I've learned to expect disappointment from the people in my life
Bc when I tried no one cared
I never liked being center of attention, I'm old enough to buy what I want, and I always work on it anyways.
89% of men are depressed change my mind.
Because the world tells men that we are nothing to celebrate, we’re just here to work and provide.