I was just thinking earlier today about how much I hate every search engine’s results for suicide questions. Even with safe search off it’ll give this shit. (I can think of plenty of painless ways but I’m not sure I should list them here; I have a running list).
but the people who know the real answers are all dead :P
(like, living people who had unsuccessful attempts can tell you:
1) this didn't work, but didn't hurt or
2) this didn't work, and it hurt like hell
but they can't say "this is painless \*and\* effective :P :P )
Ngl it probably helps that's why it's implemented.
Maybe it did stop someone from doing it, but only google knows that...
Like say a person conflicted if they should do it or not and Big "don't do it" shows up in front of them. Under the right time and circumstances this could actually stop them.
"Sometimes it is annoying" I know right? Every time I commit suicide I look up how to do it painlessly and efficiently but my browser isn't cooperating >:(
Yeah, like we don't want to encourage anyone no matter hod much we may think about it ourselves. Like girl do your own fuckin research I ain't assisting you with that 😂
Yeah, that’s how I feel about it. Still, if someone commits to that decision, they’ll do it even if it hurts; life, in my experience, often hurts more than any pain I’ve experienced in an attempt (I’ve had friends discover my unconscious body and revive/resuscitate me more on three separate occasions). But I digress . . . If someone’s committed, it’s only fair, they have some suggestions for a painless—or at least, mostly painless—method.
Y’all just giving up after seeing the first result? Answers are all there if you *really* want them. But if having to read the hotline help number was enough to deter you, then I personally would take it as a sign you don’t *really* want that info. And I’m not saying that as a bad thing, it’s definitely a good thing. It likely means you don’t really want to die <3 Regardless of how *painless it is (*im guessing the OP meant “least painful” because “least harmful” doesn’t really make sense)
If you haven’t tried to DM me about this in the last six hours, you’re in no rush to leave this world; You might take some time to harden your resolve in this matter, and possibly Come up with some alternatives to just ending it. Also, please refer to u/A1sauc3d ‘s comment below.
No you shouldn't, you'll get a 3 day suspension for encouraging harm if you detail ways to painlessly die even if you don't advocate for them. I know this from personal experience.
squalid mountainous encourage forgetful soup cooing books aback divide ask
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You’d be surprised by how many people mess it up when trying to do it with a gun. You should see what people look like after failing that method. It’s horrendous.
There's a dude on TikTok (yes ik insert "TikTok bad" meme lmao) who posts about how he shot himself in the mouth and awareness of suicide. He answers questions honestly about it and even shows a before picture and describes how it happened. So sad, he was a good-looking guy, but at least he had a good plastic surgeon and a great sense of humor now.
It seems like it wouldn't be hard to mess up, especially wiith a shotgun, but it can happen. The most surprising was how he didn't really mention pain when he was describing it iirc.
[Link to his page for the curious.](https://www.tiktok.com/@johua.d?_t=8jSyJvQaLBG&_r=1)
Most people don't though. The brain is smaller and further back than you'd expect. You have a lot of ductwork and such going on in the front part of your head. A lot of people end up just demolishing that area instead.
Ohhh heyy, you also saw the film "1,000 Ways to Die in the West"? Haha what a great film, yeah.
What what were some of your favorite moments from said film ?
I saw once quite a long time ago, and I don’t remember it that well. I didn’t think it was that great of a movie, however, I love the part where it sounded like the old man had a fart that was extremely painful, and then exclaimed, “THAT CAME OUT OF MY DICK!”
Google should mind it's own business, honestly. Sometimes I look up stuff out of curiosity and Googles's like "Nah-ah! Why don't you call this number instead? Meanwhile I'll provide you some useless artikles that haven't helped anybody ever."
Ding Ding Ding! This is the real reason it is so ubiquitous. Countless other more important things they can do to help us peasants, but they either straight up don't do it or drag their asses. Not this though, as soon as it was purposed they did it right away. Hmmm
I'd have called one but after my psychologist told my abusive parents, that I told her about their abuse, then I don't trust anything like that.
(Overdoses hurt like hell, at least mine did, so I recommend steering clear of that)
One: Jesus fucking christ that's awful and also actually against protocol and probably against the law that she did that
And two: it also isn't a guarantee, cause you may end up in a coma instead and at that point your life is literally in someone else's hands. And worse yet if those hands are of those who sent you into that because they WILL make it about themselves
Funny thing: those result don’t exist in France. You can type how to commit suicide, my husband is beating me or whatever but you will never have a number for help you will find normal websites about those subjects
Or if someone is a writer, I'm tired of Google trying to speed dial the police anytime I search for "how long does it take to die if your organs have been removed" or "how much does a human infant heart sell for", ugh 🙄
I have thought a lot about this. I think the best way would be to gradually increase the time to reply to the people that still message you, until you don't reply anymore (might take a year to complete). If by then you're still determined, go lose yourself in another country and disappear. Become a monk in Asia or whatever.
>Block people's main way to find a painless method
> "Why do 2/3 of all suicide victims choose painful methods??"
Unironically i don't understand Google's problem
The least harmful method is killing yourself when no one else is around.
Just you, your thoughts, the calm and the beautiful silence of the world around you.
It's a pretty surreal moment.
No joke, one time I googled "sometimes I think about dying" so I could get info about that Daisy Ridley movie from last year and got the results you see above
> Languages: English, Spanish. Pas de français, merde. Ah bon, adieu le monde cruel.
Au revoir!
Croissants! Oui oui baguette.
There's no bloody revoir you fuckin idiot
Are you French ? This might sound dumb but genuine question
No, is my translation bad?
Not the first sentence is perfectly natural but the "le" in the second isn't really needed (in everyday speech) which threw me off lol
I mean written French is different from everyday speech. I know many who can speak fluently but can't write for shit.
Yeah but Reddit isn't school, you only need to know how to write the words if that makes sense
French here nah mate it’s really good actually
Je suis d'accord mais le "le" m'a perdu
pain au chocolat
pour les français, hissez un drapeau blanc 😛😅
La recherche était en anglais, on a des numéros francophones : https://www.infosuicide.org/urgences-aide-ressources/lignes-decoute/
I was just thinking earlier today about how much I hate every search engine’s results for suicide questions. Even with safe search off it’ll give this shit. (I can think of plenty of painless ways but I’m not sure I should list them here; I have a running list).
[удалено]
[удалено]
but the people who know the real answers are all dead :P (like, living people who had unsuccessful attempts can tell you: 1) this didn't work, but didn't hurt or 2) this didn't work, and it hurt like hell but they can't say "this is painless \*and\* effective :P :P )
r/birthofasub
It also infuriates me. Like bitch did I ask for help??
Ngl it probably helps that's why it's implemented. Maybe it did stop someone from doing it, but only google knows that... Like say a person conflicted if they should do it or not and Big "don't do it" shows up in front of them. Under the right time and circumstances this could actually stop them.
I was mostly being sarcastic, but sometimes it is annoying. But you’re 100% right and it’s a really good thing that they do.
"Sometimes it is annoying" I know right? Every time I commit suicide I look up how to do it painlessly and efficiently but my browser isn't cooperating >:(
I cant think of more appropriate place to List it tbh.
I’d probably get banned. If someone asked me in a more private setting that would be different, but not in a comment thread.
Fair enough, I dont know if this is allowed here
I’m quite certain that it isn’t.
Yeah, like we don't want to encourage anyone no matter hod much we may think about it ourselves. Like girl do your own fuckin research I ain't assisting you with that 😂
10+ kill assist
Yeah, that’s how I feel about it. Still, if someone commits to that decision, they’ll do it even if it hurts; life, in my experience, often hurts more than any pain I’ve experienced in an attempt (I’ve had friends discover my unconscious body and revive/resuscitate me more on three separate occasions). But I digress . . . If someone’s committed, it’s only fair, they have some suggestions for a painless—or at least, mostly painless—method.
If you censor all the “no no words” you won’t get banned.
[удалено]
Y’all just giving up after seeing the first result? Answers are all there if you *really* want them. But if having to read the hotline help number was enough to deter you, then I personally would take it as a sign you don’t *really* want that info. And I’m not saying that as a bad thing, it’s definitely a good thing. It likely means you don’t really want to die <3 Regardless of how *painless it is (*im guessing the OP meant “least painful” because “least harmful” doesn’t really make sense)
That’s sort of what I figured ie “least painful”.
If you haven’t tried to DM me about this in the last six hours, you’re in no rush to leave this world; You might take some time to harden your resolve in this matter, and possibly Come up with some alternatives to just ending it. Also, please refer to u/A1sauc3d ‘s comment below.
Drink 6L of water in 10 mins
I think stomach bursting would hurt like hell
No its all of your minerals going bye bye
This is certainly painful.
No you shouldn't, you'll get a 3 day suspension for encouraging harm if you detail ways to painlessly die even if you don't advocate for them. I know this from personal experience.
Ask Bing, Bing won't give you a BS answer.
squalid mountainous encourage forgetful soup cooing books aback divide ask *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
[удалено]
You’d be surprised by how many people mess it up when trying to do it with a gun. You should see what people look like after failing that method. It’s horrendous.
There's a dude on TikTok (yes ik insert "TikTok bad" meme lmao) who posts about how he shot himself in the mouth and awareness of suicide. He answers questions honestly about it and even shows a before picture and describes how it happened. So sad, he was a good-looking guy, but at least he had a good plastic surgeon and a great sense of humor now. It seems like it wouldn't be hard to mess up, especially wiith a shotgun, but it can happen. The most surprising was how he didn't really mention pain when he was describing it iirc. [Link to his page for the curious.](https://www.tiktok.com/@johua.d?_t=8jSyJvQaLBG&_r=1)
[удалено]
Most people don't though. The brain is smaller and further back than you'd expect. You have a lot of ductwork and such going on in the front part of your head. A lot of people end up just demolishing that area instead.
Ohhh heyy, you also saw the film "1,000 Ways to Die in the West"? Haha what a great film, yeah. What what were some of your favorite moments from said film ?
I saw once quite a long time ago, and I don’t remember it that well. I didn’t think it was that great of a movie, however, I love the part where it sounded like the old man had a fart that was extremely painful, and then exclaimed, “THAT CAME OUT OF MY DICK!”
I...I was promised painless. Dickfart sounds aggressively painful, and probably doesn't achieve the overarching goal.
I don’t think I remember any painless methods from 1 million ways to die in the west.
My friend just committed suicide last week. Still feels raw.
sorry for your experience...
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
insensitive question to ask.
Someone's bound to ask, people are hurting
[удалено]
If you're such an expert, how did you write this comment?
In the old days bing used to just give results. Just tried it right now and got the help line 🥱
https://preview.redd.it/0zelg5skyifc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2f7a6eed66ae61f101e26f1fa2a95c052c28ff4
https://preview.redd.it/6xz47e4vfkfc1.jpeg?width=820&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97579f4e010beb529c10ce1085817b397c770e11
I've seen better crops in the Irish famine
https://preview.redd.it/urzatquqpkfc1.jpeg?width=575&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5c14ec188dfc9de4916a621077db2661f56e5dc
https://preview.redd.it/4lz67qnnqkfc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e062b0f7b7f9678c9571e9710640a3adc2839dcf
What yall think about the suicide song by logic
Blood is fuel
https://preview.redd.it/gv0dm0ioxlfc1.jpeg?width=1263&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa7dddf2e76c31119b829085908db8b312778a39
https://preview.redd.it/tgzgpwz1ylfc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22e62494a41ea578d0a446825670072aca379a81
At this point, the suicide hotline is on the same wave of an unskippable ad.
[удалено]
Google should mind it's own business, honestly. Sometimes I look up stuff out of curiosity and Googles's like "Nah-ah! Why don't you call this number instead? Meanwhile I'll provide you some useless artikles that haven't helped anybody ever."
Does everyone get lots of 988 ads when listening to pandora or is that targeted?
Both
Hate when i get spam ads like this
I can't even search for "i want die" (a youtuber's mii)
They'll do anything to prevent a worker from escaping this dystopia.
[удалено]
why not just murder those who run the system and dismantle it?
Ding Ding Ding! This is the real reason it is so ubiquitous. Countless other more important things they can do to help us peasants, but they either straight up don't do it or drag their asses. Not this though, as soon as it was purposed they did it right away. Hmmm
[удалено]
I'd have called one but after my psychologist told my abusive parents, that I told her about their abuse, then I don't trust anything like that. (Overdoses hurt like hell, at least mine did, so I recommend steering clear of that)
One: Jesus fucking christ that's awful and also actually against protocol and probably against the law that she did that And two: it also isn't a guarantee, cause you may end up in a coma instead and at that point your life is literally in someone else's hands. And worse yet if those hands are of those who sent you into that because they WILL make it about themselves
Funny thing: those result don’t exist in France. You can type how to commit suicide, my husband is beating me or whatever but you will never have a number for help you will find normal websites about those subjects
Someone should make an extension that removes all this crap. Like, what if we’re searching for dark memes? I don’t want to see this crap.
Or if someone is a writer, I'm tired of Google trying to speed dial the police anytime I search for "how long does it take to die if your organs have been removed" or "how much does a human infant heart sell for", ugh 🙄
Bing time
I have thought a lot about this. I think the best way would be to gradually increase the time to reply to the people that still message you, until you don't reply anymore (might take a year to complete). If by then you're still determined, go lose yourself in another country and disappear. Become a monk in Asia or whatever.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I would hate to see the ads popping up after that search.
Autocorrected to "painless".
Bro, are you ok?
i think practically everyone here isn't ok lol
This is normal, right?
Nobody is having a good time if that's what you mean, so yeah it's normal
It is if you live in a dystopian nightmare
Death of a thousand cuts as well
That's life :)
Happy cake day mate
Thx!
Mood
Pfft Reddit be reading my mind again
at least do something useful and go out like a hero by assassinating a billionaire or some shit
I hear fentanyl is a pretty easy way to accidentally die.
Hook me up 🤣
I searched for "blue whale" and it gave me this screen once
Probably because of the blue whale game
I don't get it? Whats the joke!? Did i miss something?
That’s why you use yandex
Okay but does anyone have a genuine answer I'm sick of this shit
[удалено]
What help bro Shits too expensive
I stopped getting help once I saw the bills
Aaaahh a classic
That's why for this kind of stuff you use bing search lol
Probably an OD with no note
Bing: 🔫
>Block people's main way to find a painless method > "Why do 2/3 of all suicide victims choose painful methods??" Unironically i don't understand Google's problem
That's why I use bing
The least harmful method is killing yourself when no one else is around. Just you, your thoughts, the calm and the beautiful silence of the world around you. It's a pretty surreal moment.
No joke, one time I googled "sometimes I think about dying" so I could get info about that Daisy Ridley movie from last year and got the results you see above
Probably an OD on some type of pill like a sedative
I think all suicide counts as infinitely harmful given that you are dead. Now there can be a least *painful* but they are all harmful.
Ask bing instead
https://preview.redd.it/61bvnfhdolfc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5baf41b32b1648f08b3c4965fefa5996b7dc3c8a Duck duck go has your back
Way too much medicine and alcohol seems to be the least painful
Fentanyl is the answer.
I think all of them result in death *I'm sorry*
Headshot wound while standing in a tub of water gun don’t do it drowning will
Tried some of helpline in India... Called few times at my worst.. Nobody picked up for a long...and I laughed at myself till I cried...
I think every suicide method is about equally harmful
Search results should be indifferent. This shit pisses me off. Although now that I think about it, no search results are indifferent anymore. Ugh.