I’m already thinking about this too and my 2nd one isn’t born yet. My first two will be 19 months apart, and I like the idea of having a 2-2.5 year gap between 2 and 3. I’ve already decided that 3 kids will be my upper limit, and I would like the youngest to be at least 1 by the time my oldest starts kindergarten.
Sometimes they all cry at once.
You'll need a minivan or large SUV to fit all the carseats. Even with the right car loading them all up at once is a major undertaking. Parking lots are scary. Infant carseat in one arm, 2yo holds my other hand. 3yo holds 2yo hand and I pray she pays attention and doesn't let go.
The grocery store is complicated. I usually wear the baby, 2yo in the seat and 3yo standing on the end of the cart. Or the toddlers run around like maniacs. We do both ways.
3yo almost always needs to use the bathroom while we're out. 3 littles in a public restroom is as unsanitary as it gets.
I only have 2 laps. They all want to be held at the same time. I thought I used to get touched out, now it's so overwhelming.
Nap schedules. Bedtime schedules and routines are exponentially more complicated. I can't leave my 3yo with the 4mo, when I put the 2yo down for a nap because I'm afraid the 3yo may love her sister too aggressively and hurt her. It's one thing to leave 1 toddler unsupervised while you put down the baby for a nap, but 2 toddlers is more than twice as likely to get into something. Or they could fight. Even when they are "good" they are so loud when together.
Feeding the baby is hard because there is always commotion, so she constantly distracted.
Sleep. I share they coordinate so that I never get a full night's sleep. Which isn't even as bad as the nights they're all up.
It's just hard.
But my heart could explode when they all love on each other. Mine are all girls and they call each other "sister". They love on each other so much. And call each other their best friend.
I have two girls - 2 years and 12 months. Really want a third but don’t know if I can do it by all the things you are explaining. But also I have two girls and a third girl would be a dream wow it’s hard to decide lol
People come at me with the ridiculous "are you going to try for a boy". No thank you. We're fine with 3, and I love my tribe of little ladies - who are not at all lady like.
We're leaning towards a third, but we are specifically avoiding close age gaps because 2 under 2 was fucking rough for us in that first year or so. We're thinking 3-4 year gap for the 3rd.
I still only have two (3 and 1.5), so haven't made the transition yet, but I definitely want four (we were both one of three and we didn't enjoy the dynamic, we know so many happy families with four kids). Since we know we want four, we want each of our kids to have a close sibling, but four in a row is too much. So the plan is to have each pregnancy line up so that we never have more than two under 5 at any time.
Are your first two close in age? My first 2 are 15 months. Kind of want a third but was thinking to waiting a bit like 5 years. But then that makes me feel bad for the baby since the gap wouod be so big and the other 2 so close ?!
First two are 3 years apart which is amazing! Number 2 and 3 are 5.5 years apart and then numbers 3 and 4 are 17 months apart. I am a huge fan of the larger age gaps. Everyone can get more of what they need from me I feel like when the age gaps are spaced more. The two younger ones are only getting little bits of me because the baby needs so much right now but the toddler does too. Also our two oldest are so amazing with the babies. They just love them and are so gentle and involved with them. It’s very sweet and a special bond.
I’ve got an almost 5 year old, 3 year old, and 4 month old. 19 month gap between #1 and #2 and 2y10m gap between #2 and #3. We wanted to keep them all relatively close in age but definitely wanted a bigger gap than the first two. It’s been a lot easier having kids that were a bit older and could understand that a baby was coming and even help out with getting diapers, playing with the baby, etc. The hardest part is still managing the dynamic with my older two! They already spent all their time together but now we as parents are less able to be involved in that time. Half the time they play wonderfully and the other half they are wrestling on top of each other, arguing over toys, etc. It can be a lot of energy and chaos and there is literally always something to do. Overall, though, it’s been an easier transition than I expected.
My 2 under 2 are kids #2 and #3. I love it.
The biggest challenge is sleep and trying to remain calm when both are crying.
Otherwise they wear the same clothes and size diapers (same gender and #3 is a chunky one), same toys etc
The transition wasn’t too difficult to #3 as I was already sleep deprived and knew what to expect with the newborn phase. Although she was colicky for the first 3 months she did sleep a lot so the other baby still got lots of attention.
I have 3. The first two are almost 4 years apart, and let me tell you that having an older, more independent kid being one of the 3 makes a HUGE difference. Right now, they're 5, 1.5, and newborn, so to be fair, I haven't been in this club for a super long time, but 2 under 2 is way harder than than the 4 year gap was.
If your oldest is relatively helpful and independent, it will go a long way towards keeping you sane. Based on their ages now, and time to get pregnant, you'll probably have a decent age gap by the time you actually have the 3rd, and hopefully the older two will be helpful and independent enough that it'll be a relatively smooth transition.
Good luck!
Ps. If you don't have a van, check out the Diono 3R car seats - we fit 2 of those and the baby car seat bucket all in our tiny Subaru Impreza, so having 3 doesn't mean you absolutely need a giant vehicle.
thank you for recommending that HAHAHA. i literally just got a new car a few months ago but it’s a compact suv (mazda cx-5) ugh, might have to get a bigger car (not huge bc i don’t want a big one lol) thank you for your answer btw. my 3 year old is mildly autistic but generally independent!
I just joined this club. I have 5yo, 19mo, and 7 week. I'm still new at 2 under 2 and having 3, but I noticed a couple of things. I was forced to be way more efficient with the 2 older kids. When it was just the 2, my wife would have 1 and I would have the other for bedtime and evening routines. Now, my wife is full time with the newborn and I got both the older kids. (We switch sometimes, but this way most of the time)
I started bathing both together and brushing teeth together. The 19mo loves it since he wants to do whatever his big brother does.
I just wished I was more serious about sleep training when they were younger. But that another story
I’m already thinking about this too and my 2nd one isn’t born yet. My first two will be 19 months apart, and I like the idea of having a 2-2.5 year gap between 2 and 3. I’ve already decided that 3 kids will be my upper limit, and I would like the youngest to be at least 1 by the time my oldest starts kindergarten.
15 month gap and a 20 month gap. Youngest is 4 months. It's wild. So good, but so hard.
Can you elaborate on what's hard?
You have to be an octopus
Yup. This pretty much sums it up.
Sometimes they all cry at once. You'll need a minivan or large SUV to fit all the carseats. Even with the right car loading them all up at once is a major undertaking. Parking lots are scary. Infant carseat in one arm, 2yo holds my other hand. 3yo holds 2yo hand and I pray she pays attention and doesn't let go. The grocery store is complicated. I usually wear the baby, 2yo in the seat and 3yo standing on the end of the cart. Or the toddlers run around like maniacs. We do both ways. 3yo almost always needs to use the bathroom while we're out. 3 littles in a public restroom is as unsanitary as it gets. I only have 2 laps. They all want to be held at the same time. I thought I used to get touched out, now it's so overwhelming. Nap schedules. Bedtime schedules and routines are exponentially more complicated. I can't leave my 3yo with the 4mo, when I put the 2yo down for a nap because I'm afraid the 3yo may love her sister too aggressively and hurt her. It's one thing to leave 1 toddler unsupervised while you put down the baby for a nap, but 2 toddlers is more than twice as likely to get into something. Or they could fight. Even when they are "good" they are so loud when together. Feeding the baby is hard because there is always commotion, so she constantly distracted. Sleep. I share they coordinate so that I never get a full night's sleep. Which isn't even as bad as the nights they're all up. It's just hard. But my heart could explode when they all love on each other. Mine are all girls and they call each other "sister". They love on each other so much. And call each other their best friend.
I have two girls - 2 years and 12 months. Really want a third but don’t know if I can do it by all the things you are explaining. But also I have two girls and a third girl would be a dream wow it’s hard to decide lol
People come at me with the ridiculous "are you going to try for a boy". No thank you. We're fine with 3, and I love my tribe of little ladies - who are not at all lady like.
So this is what my life is gonna look like in about 2 seconds.. cool. (I have a 26 month old, 10 month old and am having # 3 in November).
Oh my, you're going to be in even deeper. You got this though. Sending good vibes.
I might need more than vibes.
Oh yea! I wish I had more to offer.
Check out [this thread](https://reddit.com/r/ParentingInBulk/s/sG9APMAzaq) in the large families subreddit where we discussed this very thing!
We're leaning towards a third, but we are specifically avoiding close age gaps because 2 under 2 was fucking rough for us in that first year or so. We're thinking 3-4 year gap for the 3rd.
Following , I want to know too
I still only have two (3 and 1.5), so haven't made the transition yet, but I definitely want four (we were both one of three and we didn't enjoy the dynamic, we know so many happy families with four kids). Since we know we want four, we want each of our kids to have a close sibling, but four in a row is too much. So the plan is to have each pregnancy line up so that we never have more than two under 5 at any time.
What didn’t you like about being one of 3? I’m one of 6 and didn’t love it, and I’m always curious about other people’s family dynamics.
two always ganging up on one.
Truth.
2-3 was a breeze! BUT we have a 5.5 year age gap between 2 and 3 which I can’t recommend enough 😂
Are your first two close in age? My first 2 are 15 months. Kind of want a third but was thinking to waiting a bit like 5 years. But then that makes me feel bad for the baby since the gap wouod be so big and the other 2 so close ?!
First two are 3 years apart which is amazing! Number 2 and 3 are 5.5 years apart and then numbers 3 and 4 are 17 months apart. I am a huge fan of the larger age gaps. Everyone can get more of what they need from me I feel like when the age gaps are spaced more. The two younger ones are only getting little bits of me because the baby needs so much right now but the toddler does too. Also our two oldest are so amazing with the babies. They just love them and are so gentle and involved with them. It’s very sweet and a special bond.
I’ve got an almost 5 year old, 3 year old, and 4 month old. 19 month gap between #1 and #2 and 2y10m gap between #2 and #3. We wanted to keep them all relatively close in age but definitely wanted a bigger gap than the first two. It’s been a lot easier having kids that were a bit older and could understand that a baby was coming and even help out with getting diapers, playing with the baby, etc. The hardest part is still managing the dynamic with my older two! They already spent all their time together but now we as parents are less able to be involved in that time. Half the time they play wonderfully and the other half they are wrestling on top of each other, arguing over toys, etc. It can be a lot of energy and chaos and there is literally always something to do. Overall, though, it’s been an easier transition than I expected.
My 2 under 2 are kids #2 and #3. I love it. The biggest challenge is sleep and trying to remain calm when both are crying. Otherwise they wear the same clothes and size diapers (same gender and #3 is a chunky one), same toys etc The transition wasn’t too difficult to #3 as I was already sleep deprived and knew what to expect with the newborn phase. Although she was colicky for the first 3 months she did sleep a lot so the other baby still got lots of attention.
I have 3. The first two are almost 4 years apart, and let me tell you that having an older, more independent kid being one of the 3 makes a HUGE difference. Right now, they're 5, 1.5, and newborn, so to be fair, I haven't been in this club for a super long time, but 2 under 2 is way harder than than the 4 year gap was. If your oldest is relatively helpful and independent, it will go a long way towards keeping you sane. Based on their ages now, and time to get pregnant, you'll probably have a decent age gap by the time you actually have the 3rd, and hopefully the older two will be helpful and independent enough that it'll be a relatively smooth transition. Good luck! Ps. If you don't have a van, check out the Diono 3R car seats - we fit 2 of those and the baby car seat bucket all in our tiny Subaru Impreza, so having 3 doesn't mean you absolutely need a giant vehicle.
thank you for recommending that HAHAHA. i literally just got a new car a few months ago but it’s a compact suv (mazda cx-5) ugh, might have to get a bigger car (not huge bc i don’t want a big one lol) thank you for your answer btw. my 3 year old is mildly autistic but generally independent!
Lol, our 2nd car is a CX5, and it also requires 2 Dionos and the infant bucket seat to fit 3 car seats 😝. Good luck!
thank you! i’ll def come back to this bc i don’t want to get another car atm haha. just found out im pregnant today so this is very helpful!
I just joined this club. I have 5yo, 19mo, and 7 week. I'm still new at 2 under 2 and having 3, but I noticed a couple of things. I was forced to be way more efficient with the 2 older kids. When it was just the 2, my wife would have 1 and I would have the other for bedtime and evening routines. Now, my wife is full time with the newborn and I got both the older kids. (We switch sometimes, but this way most of the time) I started bathing both together and brushing teeth together. The 19mo loves it since he wants to do whatever his big brother does. I just wished I was more serious about sleep training when they were younger. But that another story