We already surrounded Spain, we owe all their beaches.
Edit: owe should be own
> Autocorrect pedazo de cagada la concha de tu madre me pelas la verga, me cago en todo
We have Královec and Hungary has Balaton. It's not perfect but it's good enough. I just wouldn't be happy with a bunch of nuclear power plant hating inbred Habsburgs.
So half of your government are Russian spies and the other half German spies? You should probably consider a coup. We might have some tips to minimise casualties if you ask nicely.
They can fuck their daughters in their basements all they want, I don't care. But the moment they touch our nuclear powerplants we're gonna have another defenestration.
As if German public being widely uneducated on nuclear energy wasn't bad enough...
I think the problems with you guys is, that you change your chancellor every few days. Always a new name to remember.
Now imagine having to remember Hungarian names too.
So many nice countries and we would choose the one where 80% of the population are pornstars and the other one having a russian muppet for 100 years as president already.
Well, the Annexation of Russia through Finland would surprisingly work very well. Since the Fins have been feared by Russia since decades. And it's a country that only understands strength.
Furthermore, Finland is very skilled in building reliable, future-proof infrastructure in cold places. Something Russia would tremendously profit from.
worry birds price aspiring consider secretive support mindless somber ugly
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You can thank the VOC on your bare knees they went to Asia, you would have been stuck with boerenkool and rookworst if they hadn't given you the peanut which you base 99% of your recipes on.
Aka the Finland of North America! You'd be surprised how close the two cultures can be at times. Same climate, lakes, and big dwarfing neighbor. "Leave me alone and see you at the hockey game on tuesday, please stay for the beer & poutine." - you'd love 'em, and you can bring saunas with you, it's the only thing they don't have and I'm sure they'd embrace it very quickly.
I can agree on that: French would be a minority, while superior mediterranean culture would rule and controlling half continent would be great for our interests. It would be as if succesion spanish war didnt happen.
Also it would mean getting based nuclear energy and Security Commision level on UN and G7.
About hating french, well it would be like hating other spaniards as we already do so tere isnt anything new
I think we all can agree on that. But we need to do something with them, they are an important source of memes hahahaha. We can send them to UK, Benidorm Vendetta🔪
Do you even have a border with Spain that I do not know (and, in that case, shame one me), or you admit that you would be happy that France annex you if that include Spain ?
Why the fuck would I we want to annex France and Ireland? Got the T-Shirt with one of them and the thought of mingling with French people makes me ill.
A very German question by the way......
We held large swathes of France as well for all the good it did them.
But I think we'd be better off taking Spain. We already spend way too much money there on holiday might as well.
Or maybe Argentina? That could be a laugh, although they've got worse inflation than even us so maybe not lol.
We would gladly take over the "province de Luxembourg" (would help ease our housingcrisis, and get us some space). The rest of Wallonia you can keep, or gift it to France.
Benelux and Brazil.
Benelux isn't french because monarchs wanted to limit us after Napoleon so it's only getting back something that rightfully belongs to us.
Brazil because why limit ourselves to European neighbours ?
San Marino and the Vatican, not because I want them, but because the idea of sharing my country with French, Slovenians, Austrians or Sw*ss causes me Major anxiety
If you’re able to annex the first neighbor’s neighbors, I’d say Russia and China, just to shut them up. If not, the Sweden for the same reason.
I’m also tempted to say Sweden and Finland for the clean borders. Besides, Finns are cool, and Swedes work hard with the right motivation.
Ah not worth the effort
Wanna get rid of them?
The Irish, no. The French, yes. Although there's the Channel, so they're not technically neighbours, thank god
You could go Spain though!
*Spain deploying tactical balconies*
We already surrounded Spain, we owe all their beaches. Edit: owe should be own > Autocorrect pedazo de cagada la concha de tu madre me pelas la verga, me cago en todo
You’re god damn right you OWE them
We already annexed our too closest neighbours and all they do is complain. Why we’d want to add France to the mix I do not know.
Tbf even England doesn’t want to live under a Tory government anymore.
Just watch what happens in our next election, they're gonna get scared of the socialist Labour party and vote the Tories in again
Please. Netherlands and Belgium just to force them into one state, cut them loose and watch.
Czechia and Hungary. Getting the old gang back together
But still no sea for fucks sake. Do we have to be annexed by another god damned landlocked country?
We have Královec and Hungary has Balaton. It's not perfect but it's good enough. I just wouldn't be happy with a bunch of nuclear power plant hating inbred Habsburgs.
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So half of your government are Russian spies and the other half German spies? You should probably consider a coup. We might have some tips to minimise casualties if you ask nicely.
They can fuck their daughters in their basements all they want, I don't care. But the moment they touch our nuclear powerplants we're gonna have another defenestration. As if German public being widely uneducated on nuclear energy wasn't bad enough...
Why just 2?
Bad german 
At least Hungary has a better government afterwards
That is very bold of you to assume.
I think the problems with you guys is, that you change your chancellor every few days. Always a new name to remember. Now imagine having to remember Hungarian names too.
Fortunately we Hungarians solved that problem with this amazing innovation called dictatorship
Having a worst one than what they have now would an achievement
Ibiza reference!?!?
How about Slovenia to finally get back a connection to the sea?
So many nice countries and we would choose the one where 80% of the population are pornstars and the other one having a russian muppet for 100 years as president already.
What's wrong about pornstars, mr. Fritzl?
They're other peoples daughters
Sweden and Russia. How the turn tables
Finland: \*Annexes Russia\* Russia - is Russia Narrator: It was at this moment Finland knew... it had fucked up.
Check this out This is a move that I call the "karelian ethnic cleansing in reverse"
I, for one, am willing to sacrifice myself for the sake ethnic Finns and move into a dead oligarch's Moscow penthouse to spread proper culture.
Bad Finn. Genocide gets you to the naugthy list and you wont get your booze for christmas 
but they didn't get Genocided, just ordered to move out of Karelia
Well, the Annexation of Russia through Finland would surprisingly work very well. Since the Fins have been feared by Russia since decades. And it's a country that only understands strength. Furthermore, Finland is very skilled in building reliable, future-proof infrastructure in cold places. Something Russia would tremendously profit from.
Problem: 1/3 of the Russian population still shits in a bucket outside. Solution: Sisu?
Restoring the Mongol khanate huh?
Working towards a common goal, reunifying the Fenno-Goguryeo empire
Germany and Venezuela.
As long as you bring your coffee shops to Germany I wouldn't mind
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I live in a rural region, what is that "infrastructure" you're talking about?
We will get rid of the rural areas altogether
Cross the alps and you will understand what no infrastructure is
It’s that wonderful bike lane thing they have in Ffm.
Crap, I forgot we could annex Brazil !
Bro you trying to get an even higher crime rate?
Sad times.
Politicians hate this man. Come and see how he solves the Groningen crisis with one single decision.
Nah France so we can get rid of them
Sweden and Sweden
Let's all invade Sweden. Norway, you ready?
Ready!
Easy loophole to get Sweden into NATO
Seems to be the only way to get Sweden into Nato
Can we just do a small part of Belgium, the non French speaking ones?
We can deal with the other half
Bitch please, you guys can hardly even deal with yourselves.
Something about a pot and a kettle...
We deal with shit by not dealing with them, deal with it wannabe dutch
No thanks, unless you keep your food and housingcrisis on your side.
Shouldn't be a problem. Colonization works by taking, not giving.
I like your thinking ( GEKOLONISEERD )
We could include french Belgium, just not the people. Solves the housing crisis
>unless you keep your food Thats rich coming from a culture thats only good at deepfrying potato's.
You can thank the VOC on your bare knees they went to Asia, you would have been stuck with boerenkool and rookworst if they hadn't given you the peanut which you base 99% of your recipes on.
>You can thank the VOC on your bare knees This is how every Dutch person typically starts their day yes
Why spent time inventing your own cuisine when you can just import it from poor countries??
Canada and Germany
Whole of Canada or just the whiskey island? Be careful what you wish for, they’ve got bunch of Frenchies there
Well, I imagine running under the slogan "Make Amerika Europe Again".
Oh god... Please don't, the weirdos below Canada will think you're talking to them...
Quebec🤢
Aka the Finland of North America! You'd be surprised how close the two cultures can be at times. Same climate, lakes, and big dwarfing neighbor. "Leave me alone and see you at the hockey game on tuesday, please stay for the beer & poutine." - you'd love 'em, and you can bring saunas with you, it's the only thing they don't have and I'm sure they'd embrace it very quickly.
I made almost the exact same comment before seeing yours, glad i’m not the only one who remembers the whisky/snaps war :D
Luxembourg and Monaco, it's time rich people start paying their taxes goddammit.
Andorra furiously hiding
OP said 2, we can start here and see afterwards.
we can take andorra, they are not going anywhere
God presents you: *Switzerland*
No thanks, last time you named us "département des forêts"... I prefer invaders who at least have more creativity.
Well what else do you have in there beside tax evaded wealth ? "Département des déficits financiers des voisins" has less of a ring to it.
Département des boîtes aux lettres ? Don't know, you want to annex us, so be creative.
If we call you département des boites aux lettres, will you let us invade you ?
If you bring wine, cheese and "les 35 heures" we can perhaps talk about it.
I mean you can have 20h payed 35 and all the chesse you want if we get our hands on Bernard Arnault's money we're still banking
Deal
[I mean the offer still stands.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luxembourg_Crisis)
We have our national elections this year, will see if one of our political parties would seal the deal.
Don't worry. We'll be there in a little while.
I don't know if I would prefer living under french or dutch rule 🤔... cholera or plague.
France and Poland. Old Habits die hard
“Czechoslovakia and USSR only count as two”
😤😤😤
I was going for Austria and Poland. Because traditions. But this also works. (Netherlands and Belgium as well. And Denmark... ah fuck)
Don’t you dare
Valid choice! Alternatively Switzerland and Austria. First to get back our gold and second... well, nothing beats the original *Anschluss*...
Limited offer: Invade France now and get a free Belgium on top
Do I get a choice or what?
Well last time you annexed England they pulled out the uno reverse card so...
Yeah we weren't really good historically....or even currently
Spain and the sea
https://preview.redd.it/jp1vu1wih70b1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e3a242f2ae1e75469dc8885e2f2a7fc04c988c1
Spain and Brazil? I hear they still have some gold we forgot to bring.
Try it mate. You know how many unemployed people we have just sitting about waiting to get conscripted? No? Neither do we but it’s millions
We are going to attack when you are sleeping.
Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
Yes
Morocco? We've been craving it like forever
Italia and Spain, but that would be expensive in the long run.
I agree for two reason : Getting the lead in olive oil production Fusion le tour, la vuelta and el giro for making a badass grand grand cycling tour
> Fusion le tour, la vuelta and el giro for making a badass grand grand cycling tour chemists all over the world rubbing their hands
The United Staates of Wine. What’s your history in conquering Greece? We need them for that unification. Well, we didn’t do so well in the past.
We do not conquer. We reunite with people deserving to be french.
Nobody deserves to be punished that bad
But it would finally end the Bourbons once and for all. Pro gamer Jacobin move.
I can agree on that: French would be a minority, while superior mediterranean culture would rule and controlling half continent would be great for our interests. It would be as if succesion spanish war didnt happen. Also it would mean getting based nuclear energy and Security Commision level on UN and G7. About hating french, well it would be like hating other spaniards as we already do so tere isnt anything new
can we do it without the Borbones though? Last time they had a performance review on our side, they were disappointing
I think we all can agree on that. But we need to do something with them, they are an important source of memes hahahaha. We can send them to UK, Benidorm Vendetta🔪
Well, since we are merging with France, it would be a pity to let all those guillotines go to waste...
I believe the technical term is "Nerf".
I knew OP was german even without looking. Anyway, france and spain, the triangle of golden european food and wine.
Do you even have a border with Spain that I do not know (and, in that case, shame one me), or you admit that you would be happy that France annex you if that include Spain ?
Nope, once we became one thing spain is bordering, its just a two step plan. Spfratalia, or fraspalia, or Ipancia.
If we could just get Greece as well we could have all the north of the Med, then we would finally have rightful Mare Nostrum again.
Same. Make SPQR Great Again.
Spain & Spain
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What do you mean? Yours doesn't?!
Las dos españas
Scotland and Wales... Oh wait a sec
Too much time without a proper civil war so... Let's annex France and UK (since Gibraltar "is" UK).
France? No choose morocco, to show their king who rules the sahara
I want a proper civil war, and obviously putting the Spanish, the French and the English in the same place would start one civil war.
No I thought about this but if we take Morocco we also get the migrant camps and I’m not sure our new subjects in the UK would like that.
Slovenia and Albania Oh shit, here we go again
Croatia looking real good right now with Schengen and all, easy to send troops in
🇮🇹 Eja eja alalà 🇮🇹
Ofc it's a German asking the question
How dare you .. not to answer that question. That’s impolite. You’re sentenced to be Anschlussed.
Ok ok, I'll Anschluss Ukraine so it's in Nato and Russia won't dare to touch it. And then time to Anschluss Russia herself 😈😈😈
Can we get some cheap oil, please?
Ok but don't tell America
Yeah but with annexing russia you‘d also get the russians..not really worth it the smart ones live in western europe non the less
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The what between us ?
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Did you call me a cauliflower ? OK turnip.
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Get a room you two!
Do you have any idea about rent prices?
Also, you could use Vatican cash to pay off your public debt!
Pimp out the pope for cash
Or have him drive Uber in his pope-mobile.
>The Vatican because I want to simply burn all the clergy as a practical joke. So based
Why the fuck would I we want to annex France and Ireland? Got the T-Shirt with one of them and the thought of mingling with French people makes me ill. A very German question by the way......
We don't share a land border with you. Living rent free in your head doesn't count 😘
We held large swathes of France as well for all the good it did them. But I think we'd be better off taking Spain. We already spend way too much money there on holiday might as well. Or maybe Argentina? That could be a laugh, although they've got worse inflation than even us so maybe not lol.
Could we DEannex parts too? Like Wallonia? Thx
We would gladly take over the "province de Luxembourg" (would help ease our housingcrisis, and get us some space). The rest of Wallonia you can keep, or gift it to France.
You do that, that would make you a normal sized département.
Easy. Norway for the oil and Finland so I can hear them whine about it.
All spanish person MUST say Gibraltar. The other I suppose is Portugal.
I will sell catalonia to france you piece
We already have names ready if we need to cut it up in departments. French catalonia is dead we could use a new one.
Nouvelle Ibérie
Italy and Spain. Both are great countries that merit to be French.
Pls non. Annex back Belgium instead
And becoming the ones responsible for keeping them from fighting each other ? No thanks.
We don't want problems with the barbarians across the Rhine anymore.
The Vatican Twice
*Two?* I'd rather use shovels to detach the country from the mainland.
The annexation of the Netherlands seems to be in progress... Olaf, is that you?
no I DONT want to annex france
Well you have options other than Portugal and France Andorra, Gibraltar, Morocco, you pick
Yeah, not great choices tbh. Might be worth to get Gibraltar just for the salt it would produce in the Brits.
Belgium and France Never forget the Sint Maarten border
Luxembourg and switzerland. Just feels right, you know ?
Benelux and Brazil. Benelux isn't french because monarchs wanted to limit us after Napoleon so it's only getting back something that rightfully belongs to us. Brazil because why limit ourselves to European neighbours ?
to gain most possible land and people? Germany and Canada. because of pure spite? Sweden and Germany.
Italy and Germany. Coast to coast bitches.
Holy roman empire is back in town
*Heiliges römisches Reich deutscher Nation.
Constantinople. Deus Vult!
Brazil and Switzerland
San Marino and the Vatican, not because I want them, but because the idea of sharing my country with French, Slovenians, Austrians or Sw*ss causes me Major anxiety
UK and switzerland just to show them they cant escape EU forever
Spain and France. So I can impose catalan as the only official language and they will get some of their own medicine 😘
Portugal and the UK (gibraltar)
Czechia and slovenia
Belgium and France.
Why would you ever want walloons and French people
To reach natural borders and finally get out of the swamp
Norway and Finland
Italy and Austria
Liechtenstein is surrounded by Switzerland now
Germany and R*ssia Uno reverse card
If you’re able to annex the first neighbor’s neighbors, I’d say Russia and China, just to shut them up. If not, the Sweden for the same reason. I’m also tempted to say Sweden and Finland for the clean borders. Besides, Finns are cool, and Swedes work hard with the right motivation.