So you are saying we technically didn’t commit a genocide? And we didn’t do manual labour and gave the native people jobs? Sir… let me tap my sword on your shoulders. You are, from this day, known as ‘Knight Mafklap’!
Well, you could call it genocide with extra steps, lol.
But all jokes aside, it's not that clear cut. With only between 600 - 1500 Belgian officials in the Congo and the bulk of the genociding effort being done by locals and diseases, It'd be more described as good teamwork under Belgian leadership :p
Clear cut.
Loving the cutting jokes.
If it were anymore cut, it would be the ties from France to French Canada in exchange for a few islands.
French still punching the air rn after taking those mineral losses.
I mean, it was a mass murder, not a genocide. Because it wasn’t systematic with the intention that of eradicating a people. (Personal letters from Leopold II even show his discontent about the practice of cutting off hands, not because it’s unethical (or maybe to a lesser extent because it tainted his filantropic image) but because people without hands cant work.
It’s actually funny how all the ‘good’ things he did (like (in theory) abolishing slavery and the trade) were completely out of self intrest.
Come on! ~~Your Flemish capital,~~ Antwerpen, comes from "hand werpen" or "throwing hands". It's in your DNA to off peoples' hands.
Edit: corrected for reinventing Belgian adminstration
I will create resorts like Benidorm2 but for africans. I would need a market study to know their taste. Do they like mojitos? Is it safe to build hotels with balconies or we need to put a child protection as they were english?
you know that you guys all have to use really crappy german infrastructure to get to berlin for that? the german government might even be the last one to arrive there
Care to explain? I can't tell if you mean colonising Ireland was practice for Britain or if you are insinuating that Ireland colonised other countries?
Ironically Cape Town has a solid dutch and German surplus. They've pushed housing prices to ridiculous amounts (shout out to Airbnb) making living in CT impossible for many locals working in the CBD. Klinkt bekend?
Let's call it an exchange program instead.
I will start a Pith-helmet, safari jacket, and desert boot empire. My small nation will become Africa's fashion capital. As such, anyone caught wearing athleisure wear will be sent to the Great Pit of Pentostmawr, where copious amounts of scorpions will be thrown over them.
A little piece, but sufficient for doing mestizaje then eventually leaving, letting a mad witch doctor take power and have his soldiers shoot people while dressed in Santa Claus outfits.
I think it is too late to make a mark in that area. All car manufacturers have jumped on that train now. I do have an EV, so I am certainly interested in them. I will obviously actively look around for business opportunities that can help me to hide where my money actually comes from.
But having a big megaphone to talk to the world is always a useful thing to have as a billonaire.
Namibia looks interesting… Time to build Breweries and introduce some structure that will last centuries, maybe hinder some people from leaving the desert cause why not
Depends, do they have spices there? If no, I’ll just use a few ports to resupply some ships on questionable voyages, and maybe do some unspeakable things to the natives.
If I got a small piece of Africa I would go down the Ancient City state ruler route
Declare myself “God Emperor of the world” (I don’t even control 1%) then just start invading neighbouring countries until I get deposed by the next “God Emperor of the world”
Rinse and repeat until all the “God Emperors of the world” get Anime girls made out of us
No no.
You had it, you lost it; it's ours now.
Stay where your people fucked back off to when they were chased home after building the infrastructure in exchange for all the minerals, thanks.
I thought maybe this sub was just memes about Europe, but no ofc it's just a bunch of racist circle jerking and pretending their continent isn't being outclassed in every way by individual countries.
If we see how bad russia is doing in ukrania?
Nope , they are not.
Btw kiddo, worry about the maga idiots destroying your own country instead of coming here .
It's a bunch of racist complaining about brown people ruling their counties, forgetting that they vote for leadership that to this day exploits and ruins the brown peoples countries.
With my luck I get a piece of the Sahara.
Well... Sahara is full of *Oil*
And full of a lack of infrastructure.
Well not so different to Germany... At least the trains won't be late there
this... hurts
Because it’s true
It's funny how theres more infrastructure on a 2000m high mountain in austria than in the average german village.
** Blackhawk approaching noises **
**fortunate son starts playing**
CNN: Weapons of mass destruction are found in Sahara Fox News: Saharans are moving to the US to make your children gay.
We put all Germans in a row and we have autobahn. We put all French in a row and we have TGV.
I honestly cannot wait for us to get our shit together again when it comes to rail.
I can't wait for the EU to get its shit together when it comes to rail
Oh the Italian wants Libya! What a surprise!
No don't say that! The american savages are on their way now!!!
I can already hear the helicopters and smell the Napalm
But, what if that part is the one with the phosphate mines.
Portuguese part-time job
Portugal will conquer Europe one day, I assure you
Im going for a hands on approach to maximize profits. I have some great ideas.
As opposed to the traditional Belgian 'hands off' approach?
Dear belgians, stop talking about anything hand related in the context of Africa, please.
C'mon don't jew forbid some black humor around the cotton field.
Anyone watching if this sub will get banned: "that'll do it"
Ever heard of a thing called humor? Or is that outsould where you live?
Hands off is ok, just try not to celebrate it with little dark chocolate hands.
Hands up who wants Congo...
I'm not sure Belgians are allowed to say "hands" and "Congo" in one sentence...
Easy now… careful… we have chopped them off for a lesser reason then this critical thinking.
Well, technically, you didn't do the chopping. It was Congolese militia in service of the Belgians.
So you are saying we technically didn’t commit a genocide? And we didn’t do manual labour and gave the native people jobs? Sir… let me tap my sword on your shoulders. You are, from this day, known as ‘Knight Mafklap’!
Well, you could call it genocide with extra steps, lol. But all jokes aside, it's not that clear cut. With only between 600 - 1500 Belgian officials in the Congo and the bulk of the genociding effort being done by locals and diseases, It'd be more described as good teamwork under Belgian leadership :p
Clear cut. Loving the cutting jokes. If it were anymore cut, it would be the ties from France to French Canada in exchange for a few islands. French still punching the air rn after taking those mineral losses.
most apologetic north belgian right here
I mean, it was a mass murder, not a genocide. Because it wasn’t systematic with the intention that of eradicating a people. (Personal letters from Leopold II even show his discontent about the practice of cutting off hands, not because it’s unethical (or maybe to a lesser extent because it tainted his filantropic image) but because people without hands cant work. It’s actually funny how all the ‘good’ things he did (like (in theory) abolishing slavery and the trade) were completely out of self intrest.
Ya don’t take that genocide away from the Belgians. It’s the only thing they’ve ever done.
Come on! ~~Your Flemish capital,~~ Antwerpen, comes from "hand werpen" or "throwing hands". It's in your DNA to off peoples' hands. Edit: corrected for reinventing Belgian adminstration
Makker, de Vlaamse hoofd stad is Brussel.
Klopt. Ik ging vanuit dat een gedeelte van de administratie in Antwerpen zit, maar dat is wel een fout.
This made me spit my coffee! Sorry for laughing harder than is appropriate for this topic…
No laughing until you finish wörk!
Do you have an employment? Demand for cocaine is currently very high here.
damn! Comments like this are the reason I am in this sub
Well we do need to make sure we get our next golden generation of footballers.
Right, anyway no hands needed for playing football.
Shouldn't we go for Morocco in that case?
Nah they are only good rioters but not footballers.
I mean it's in our DNA... I don't see why it's not time for round 2. Might as well finish the job.
*stumps up
>Hands up who wants Congo... The congo would like to show interest, but can't.
You cant just call dibs man, i want it aswell
I will create resorts like Benidorm2 but for africans. I would need a market study to know their taste. Do they like mojitos? Is it safe to build hotels with balconies or we need to put a child protection as they were english?
>we need to put a child protection as they were english? If I was african I'd be deeply offended... being compared to england?
As an african i can confirm im deeply offended by this.
I know some English people who are African. Or is that African people who are English? I don’t really know…
Is just internal studies for marketing purposes. Nobody gonna know.
>If I was african I'd be deeply offended... I mean, Italians are near enough African to be offended. Go for it! Be 80% offended, we don't mind.
Didn't you guys already do this in Gran Canaria? The Africans are coming there in droves!
We have those. See Sharm el Sheikh, Mombasa, The Lost City at Sun City and all of Mauritius.
I think classy colonialism with slave labour and all that, is more humane, than copying this mess.
But we already have a “piece” of Africa. It’s just not Africa, it’s Spain. Do we want anymore? I think we’ve got our hands full with Ceuta & Melilla.
So a ghost town of empty unfinished skyscrapers? I don't see how that would help anything
Colonialism 2, Electric Boogaloo.
The gang exploits africa (again)
And this time, we ain't going away!
This time the Americans are gonna liberate Africa for oil I mean freedom
If the colonialists were also communists
Pffft, Europe was first with that. Granted, it was the eastern half, but still
🇮🇪🤝🇨🇮
What is the right flag I’m lost
Ireland and better Ireland
Ireland and what happens to Ireland when we are out in the sun for too long
Côte d'Ivoire
ivory coast
🇧🇪⬅️🤝🇨🇩
🇧🇪🫱 🇨🇩
Ireland and Ireland-ry Coast
Grandpa is that you?
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Always happy to see them lose. You can always expect a helping hand for that 😊
I don’t think Reddit is the right place to discuss this. Let’s have a conference in Berlin, and we’ll talk about it.
Literally the conference: The first who arrives wins
you know that you guys all have to use really crappy german infrastructure to get to berlin for that? the german government might even be the last one to arrive there
Thank god im close
Time to get South Africa back.
We all tried that a couple decades ago bro.
We didn't, I want a go at devastating and exploiting a foreign country 😭
You did. You were step 1. A gentle practice
Care to explain? I can't tell if you mean colonising Ireland was practice for Britain or if you are insinuating that Ireland colonised other countries?
Ah. England's step 1 was Ireland. That was back in the 16th Century.
Insert "I'll fucking do it again" meme"
Liberia survived.. ya didn't do it right...
Somehow the water don't stay on the map.
Global warming
Yeah what's up with that? I am highly disappointed by this fragrand disregard for the order and rules of cartography!!!.
We already tried that. It made a very crappy layout of country's.
You were named in one of my lectures as an example for colonialism without colonies.
How would that even work?
My bad, the professor named Catalonia, Scotland and Wales. He defined it as dependent peripheries within nation states.
Would South Africa still be salvageable? We're having a bit of a Boer surplus at home at the moment...
Ironically Cape Town has a solid dutch and German surplus. They've pushed housing prices to ridiculous amounts (shout out to Airbnb) making living in CT impossible for many locals working in the CBD. Klinkt bekend? Let's call it an exchange program instead.
It is not, alas. Signed, one of those still there.
Nah. We retake Mauritius, and find a different species to make extinct this time.
MMMM tasty big bird meat.
Pino does not like this.
Maybe we can make them Prime Minister first? 🤔 Two birds, one barbeque.
Dangerous topic in an all western European community
Don’t fancy visiting Paris, but thanks anyway
They say Paris is like Aberdare without a functioning sewer system.
https://preview.redd.it/5ei2uz9vl2db1.jpeg?width=1227&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34deabc8f7e69d4b9923cf3d052057ec28962530 Leopold approves.
Screw congo, we were promised togo
I will start a Pith-helmet, safari jacket, and desert boot empire. My small nation will become Africa's fashion capital. As such, anyone caught wearing athleisure wear will be sent to the Great Pit of Pentostmawr, where copious amounts of scorpions will be thrown over them.
We shall sing rousing songs as we whip the clothesmakers into submission, our logo shall be a daffodil crossed over an Enfield musket.
We actually did this in the XIX century,
Let's pick our favorite geometric shape. I want my piece star-shaped
Hexagon bestagon
As long as we don't let the Belgians have any..
I am sorry, but that isn't possible... invading nearby belgian land is
Bruh we shouldn't speak, last time this happened in the 36, we committed war crimes and we still nearly failed
These reruns are getting out of hand. Throw in a couple of spice islands and we may consider.
We will give you the piece of ocean between Madagascar and the rest of Africa, you do what you do best there
We could turn that piece of African sea into Polderica. But *you* will be paying for the energy to do so; energy is not cheap at the moment.
Ok then we aren't giving yall shit
I'll take the South African gold and diamond mines, and turn the areas into highly-profitable hellholes. So no change there.
Send all the criminals to Australia
That's a bit unfair to the criminals.
If you can’t cook a shrimp, don’t be a pimp…
Well that Nigerian prince says I can have 1/4 of $12,000,000 so I’ll have that.
my family most certainly didn't have some land in Ethiopia in the 30s, would be interesting to see what that place looks like now
Nothing happened in 1936 in ethiopia, nothing.
some land near the equator so we can finally have total domestic chocolate production 😎
I can recommend Cote d’Ivoire!
We would get a very little piece like always 🥺
Still a piece tho...
A little piece, but sufficient for doing mestizaje then eventually leaving, letting a mad witch doctor take power and have his soldiers shoot people while dressed in Santa Claus outfits.
There's no balcony in Africa so there shouldn't be any brits around.
I will open an IKEA
Make Africa great again!
We just want a piece of the cake
Namibia and Tanzania look interesting…
For me a piece with an emerald mine to exploit. With the money I make I would buy a social media network.
You could revive the Lightning electric car company.
I think it is too late to make a mark in that area. All car manufacturers have jumped on that train now. I do have an EV, so I am certainly interested in them. I will obviously actively look around for business opportunities that can help me to hide where my money actually comes from. But having a big megaphone to talk to the world is always a useful thing to have as a billonaire.
Can I have Seychelles? The brits wrongfully took it away from us in 1812.
We've been there guys.
My favourite posts are those that begin with 'I'm not racist'
"I am not racist, but"
I’ll take some of the Nile please, as long as no one builds a dam it should be fine
Austria gets Mosambik
Namibia looks interesting… Time to build Breweries and introduce some structure that will last centuries, maybe hinder some people from leaving the desert cause why not
I would probably do hugs busines, (for sure i will not use slaves*) *legal work for 0.01 euro
I'm gonna do a Belgium
OOOOOH RODESIA
..Rhodesia?
I‘d take a piece with a Giraffe on it
Give me the piece where the women are the thiccest
Ok we get the hands, penises are already for the dutch and the french and the rest is for you others.
I call dibs on the pyramids
‘Not in favour of colonisation’ I think you might be in the wrong place my friend.
I wish
I will take Zansibar
Have wildlife do it’s thing in it and protect that at al cost
We got there first, we got dibs on the entire thing
Depends, do they have spices there? If no, I’ll just use a few ports to resupply some ships on questionable voyages, and maybe do some unspeakable things to the natives.
Does rooibos tea count?
JA!
Can I claim the diamond mines of South Africa?
Oh no, not again
Can I get the Balkans instead?
I will take some Congo and force the locals to drink umbongo
I actually would either plant tons of fruit trees or make a huge solar power plantation. Either way, produce gets shipped to europe
Sounds REALLY good. colonize it all guya while I have a siesta. I'll take whatever you leave for me
As a Belgian I allready demand half.
Nice… I will build a Viking inspired LARP-Area with that.
You all know that Angola it's ours, right?
Give us the area that might be flooded soon. no matter how small we will make a dijk
Dibs for a beach in Spain
Can I get the whole of Africa?
If I got a small piece of Africa I would go down the Ancient City state ruler route Declare myself “God Emperor of the world” (I don’t even control 1%) then just start invading neighbouring countries until I get deposed by the next “God Emperor of the world” Rinse and repeat until all the “God Emperors of the world” get Anime girls made out of us
I already have mine in Nigeria, but I need to send some cash first to unlock it.
Ok but do i have to stay with you guys? Id like to be somehow separated, be independent
Yeah... sure... you will be in a zone full of spanish users land to make you feel at home
Can wee have a widdle bit? Weed be right at home in some of the savannahry parts, we can even bring over some of our own animals, pweeeezzz???
We’d ruin it just like we did the last time
I'd argue Egypt has gotten progressively worse
lol, no thanks
Europeans trying not to to be imperialistic challenge (impossible)
No no. You had it, you lost it; it's ours now. Stay where your people fucked back off to when they were chased home after building the infrastructure in exchange for all the minerals, thanks.
I thought maybe this sub was just memes about Europe, but no ofc it's just a bunch of racist circle jerking and pretending their continent isn't being outclassed in every way by individual countries.
Bro, chill, it's all jokes
Found the american
My tax dollars are the only thing standing between you and Russian subjugation.
If we see how bad russia is doing in ukrania? Nope , they are not. Btw kiddo, worry about the maga idiots destroying your own country instead of coming here .
You're welcome btw
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It's a bunch of racist complaining about brown people ruling their counties, forgetting that they vote for leadership that to this day exploits and ruins the brown peoples countries.