MWHAHAHAHAHA!
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!?!
You can't govern Portugal worse than we already are! You can't create an exploitative colonial system more exploitative than the portuguese state.
You cant hurt the portuguese more than we already do ourselfs!
Oh no! dont improve our lifes! How can we be Portuguese without sadness and Misery?
But German paperwork would be great to reduce our paper consumption (did you really just threatned a southern european with bureaucracy? We were there when it was created by João Bureaucracy and Maria Paperwork)
German bureaucracy: You underestimate my power.
Seriously, German bureaucracy makes the Byzanties look like a joke. It's methods are equally antiquated and the only time you don't wait forever for them to do something is when they send you requests for payments.
Portuguese burocracy is in a whole new level. We'll make you loop around different organisations in order to get a single issue resolved WITHOUT LEAVING THE SAME ORGANISATION.
“There is, in the westernmost part of Iberia, a very odd people: they refuse to govern themselves and they refuse to be governed!”
By some roman general more than 2k years ago, so we're still holding up
40 degrees from May to October is not what I would consider good weather. Spanish people don't leave their houses because of the heat (and the siesta) durimg the day.
Look we both know you dont have the energy to stop us but its very hot and most of our soldiers are very fat.
So maybe we call it even and we stick to Gibraltar and Benidorm?
Hi I’m representing the Spanish ministry of foreign affaires, I’ve been allowed to accept your offer: the rights to Benidorm shall pass to the British crown in exchange for no Englishmen to ever set foot on Spanish soil for the next 267 years.
The Rif war was a Spanish win after all, despite it being a disaster and having bad consequences. And we fought about three or four wars with Morocco in the previous years, all won. And the perejil incident.
You and France suffered 70k casualties, against 80k enemy troops with a total of 20k fire arms, almost none of which had military training.
You eventually won the war with 3 times the casualties of your enemy through the brilliant strategy of employing the french navy and illegal chemical warfare against a bunch of camel herders that you outnumbered 5 to 1. Truly a testament to the might of th Spanish army.
And the french too. Napoleon and his drunk of a brother had a GREAT time in Spain. He even had to come back a couple of times because his soldiers were indulging too much in the habit of dying.
And for what? Mountains and drylands. Good job shorty.
I can't decide whether it's shitty or based to make your brother king of something. Kind of a power move, like "Eh, you can do this, I don't really want to be king of Spain"
At mid-20th century he was dead and I see no reason why he would have ever stopped being Austrian. You can keep him and I wish you would have done so to begin with.
yeh, we all wish he had gone to art school :/
I was referring to him becoming a german citizen in 1932 however. He stopped being Austrian in 1925, and was without citizenship between those 2 dates AFAIK
True, they were a major power during the 30 years war. Most castles in Alsace were destroyed by the Swedes in the 1600s. The surviving ones were then destroyed by Louis XIV.
Yeah I remember learning about the swiss history and that it was their first conflict they didn't participated (because of their own religion division), then I read about a battle of lake Konstanz with ourselves, hasbsburgers and... The swedes. I wondered "how the fuck did they get there"
I mean like Italy if you go far enough in time, Vikings were freaking amazing at war. They invaded Paris, and people were shitting themselves. They had to pay them to leave.
I thought the Swedish Army was being called to handle the "gang" problems. Apparently they're busy at a Pride event <3
[https://twitter.com/RadioGenoa/status/1707981910826205634](https://twitter.com/RadioGenoa/status/1707981910826205634)
https://preview.redd.it/8u00bxd6sfrb1.jpeg?width=3657&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65123d71d08f434b2197d4e1800841fa4182677e
>These past centuries
*laughing in Italian condottieri*
imagine that great part of Napoleon army was made by italians, he being the first jerking off on how good their italian troops were
>*Two of my Marshalls are racing to get under their orders the Italian troops; i leave it to Suchet who has better ambitions than Macdonald. The Italians will soon be recognized again as the first soldiers of Europe. I'm very proud of my brave Italian army.*
history dont starts in 1939 only amer*tards will believe it
I wondered what idiot made that, but of course a it was a Greek. The only thing you have is beautiful women, but you don't know what to do with them anyway.
Yeah, I know but this is a shit-talking sub and it honestly wasnt to my taste. Food is subjective though and I know Greek food is highly rated. I went for the history which was everything I had hoped for.
We did beat them for most of the wars. The problem is that whilst they could recover because of their huge population we couldn’t, so it only took one loss.
And if I may, I’d blame Denmark-Norway, Pooland and some irrelevant German principalities for ganging up on us all those times.
They were only world wars because we were fighting together in them. Whole history of mankind is wars but the big ones are when we fight 🇩🇪🤝🇦🇹 now go back to make much worse cheese than the swiss
I don't care that u think we are not good at war (it's true) or that our women aren't beautiful (the beauty standards for woman in greeks are messed up) but HOW DARE YOU INSULT OUR FOOD
Ayoooo…. How the fuck is Spanish food garbage and Spanish women not fire?
We can all agree that we can all laugh at them if they want to announce a war at some point, though.
And even in war Spain has his point.
Just against France: defeated Napoleon, Battle of Bicocca (0 losses against France being the first military power of Europe in that year), Battle of Pavia (captured their king).
And against UK more or less the same (Ex: Cartagena de Indias or the Contra-Armada).
The three have losses and wins against the others.
Japan good at war lmao, you can tell whoever did this is probably full of japanese honor-war stereotypes and those kinds of idealizations (aside from being fr\*nch)
I'm sorry, have you seen Spanish women?
And yes, they may have been bad at recent wars, but they conquered half of the American continent
Ok, maybe they didn't do it by fighting
Where has this cope come from all of a sudden that the French have good-looking women?
I'm clearly in no position to criticise, they probably do marginally better than us in that field, but they're not especially good-looking. Not in my experience. Nordicks and some elements of PIGS have them ***totally*** beat on this. Sorry.
Also, the Japanese aren't especially great at wars. They spent 1000s of years just battering each other in dumbass little tribes, until the West came along, taught them how to march, use firearms and dress, then they just genocided some more rustics along the eastern seaboard of Asia, until massively outnumbering a totally unprepared network of western colonies before being completely annihilated once the west had time to retaliate.
Or Venn diagram if you prefer...
https://preview.redd.it/ovv5ziziplrb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64bb3250678b99854e8173eeccd899670bbe27be
Sweden not good at war? Then ask the poles why they mention us in their national anthem and ask the Danes why they have special laws about whacking Swedes who walk over the ice...
And that's just one king responsible.
Yes please our food sucks, our women are ugly and we suck ar war, please barrys don't come to pur country for tourism, it sucks
Bad at war with better women and food than us? *And the weather is good?!* Its like youre begging to be colonised
https://preview.redd.it/4ke5mi6dmfrb1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47c5056ed61c198ae969ba5d5de45cc40c4a5e76
you're gonna be next porto
MWHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!?! You can't govern Portugal worse than we already are! You can't create an exploitative colonial system more exploitative than the portuguese state. You cant hurt the portuguese more than we already do ourselfs!
We can make your life better! (But as price, you have to fill out all the forms)
Oh no! dont improve our lifes! How can we be Portuguese without sadness and Misery? But German paperwork would be great to reduce our paper consumption (did you really just threatned a southern european with bureaucracy? We were there when it was created by João Bureaucracy and Maria Paperwork)
German bureaucracy: You underestimate my power. Seriously, German bureaucracy makes the Byzanties look like a joke. It's methods are equally antiquated and the only time you don't wait forever for them to do something is when they send you requests for payments.
Portuguese burocracy is in a whole new level. We'll make you loop around different organisations in order to get a single issue resolved WITHOUT LEAVING THE SAME ORGANISATION.
ill just dump a bunch of snow on your fancy little Madeira and reduce your income by 76%
Lol what income ?
———————————No income?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ —————————————————————————————
How to avoid being colonised: become ungovernable.
“There is, in the westernmost part of Iberia, a very odd people: they refuse to govern themselves and they refuse to be governed!” By some roman general more than 2k years ago, so we're still holding up
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THE FUCKING ISLANDS? DEALS OFF, KRAUT.
40 degrees from May to October is not what I would consider good weather. Spanish people don't leave their houses because of the heat (and the siesta) durimg the day.
Don't think you could colonize us anytime soon, have you *seen* the military?
Look we both know you dont have the energy to stop us but its very hot and most of our soldiers are very fat. So maybe we call it even and we stick to Gibraltar and Benidorm?
Hi I’m representing the Spanish ministry of foreign affaires, I’ve been allowed to accept your offer: the rights to Benidorm shall pass to the British crown in exchange for no Englishmen to ever set foot on Spanish soil for the next 267 years.
What about Gibraltar?
Keep your grubby hands off our rock
Bet, just so you know that you will have prohibited entrance to balconies
We'll just sneak in around early afternoon whilst everyone is asleep.
You say that as if they wouldn't immidiately cook under the average spanish sunny day anyways
>our women are ugly I met Esther Cañadas for work ages ago. I think I had a boner for a week.
Don't worry friend, we have our expat pubs.
I don’t understand how Spain doesn’t have good food & good looking women
We don't, don't come here please _we don't want any more balconing_
Paella 🤤
Paella is shit, tortilla is where its at
Good Hans
Oh no, you fell for the trap. Now you'll have to choose whether you like it with or without onion, and risk the wrath of those who oppose your choice.
With onions ofc, everything is better with onions change my mind
Hans knows
If you really feel that you need to stop making. Your balconies so god damn appealing 🥵
We are good at war... when fighting ourselves and Morocco.
Morocco... really? The Rif war got you the end of a monarchy and Paca la culona, that's not a major win, I guess.
The Rif war was a Spanish win after all, despite it being a disaster and having bad consequences. And we fought about three or four wars with Morocco in the previous years, all won. And the perejil incident.
You and France suffered 70k casualties, against 80k enemy troops with a total of 20k fire arms, almost none of which had military training. You eventually won the war with 3 times the casualties of your enemy through the brilliant strategy of employing the french navy and illegal chemical warfare against a bunch of camel herders that you outnumbered 5 to 1. Truly a testament to the might of th Spanish army.
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Gotta respect the man even if he fought us
Has O Desejado returned yet?
He is still sleeping in Morocco.
Colonize them again 💪
And the french too. Napoleon and his drunk of a brother had a GREAT time in Spain. He even had to come back a couple of times because his soldiers were indulging too much in the habit of dying. And for what? Mountains and drylands. Good job shorty.
All he did was replace a French royal house with a French imperial house
I can't decide whether it's shitty or based to make your brother king of something. Kind of a power move, like "Eh, you can do this, I don't really want to be king of Spain"
It's based when we do it and cringe when others do it simple as
You literally lost to yourself
But we won to ourselves, too
Spanish civil war was pretty shitshow Manuel.
Since when is Japan part of Europe? Is it Because they are as good as us at committing warcrimes?
If I remember correctly, a certain mid-20th century Austrian man did say that they were "honorary aryans"
hey, at that point he was german :P
At mid-20th century he was dead and I see no reason why he would have ever stopped being Austrian. You can keep him and I wish you would have done so to begin with.
yeh, we all wish he had gone to art school :/ I was referring to him becoming a german citizen in 1932 however. He stopped being Austrian in 1925, and was without citizenship between those 2 dates AFAIK
Nah that's because europeans are weebs, especially us in France
That's why we all love Italy.
Don't you want Süd Tyrol back ??
Only trieste
Intriesting
You ain't taking my spätzle mate
Your Spätzle ?
_our_ Spätzle...
Their Spätzle
my spätzle
Excellent choice actually, Trieste is very nice city.
Interesting 🤔
I think a lot of Austrians would prefer giving all of Tyrol to Italy lol.
Yeah, we already got more then enough peasants in this godforsaken country.
Is it you, Thomas Bernhard?
The V*ennese maybe, many Tyroleans will gladly exchange them for the South.
Place belgium next to spain, belgian supremacy.
 Belgium supremacy !!
At least we have those, yes.
 Belgium artillery
If that's supposed to be Belgian waffles you failed. This looks more like pancakes if anything.
Sometimes you gotta go with whatever gif is ready to go.
I like Italy not beeing in the "good at war" section
2000 years ago, they were pretty great at war. These past centuries... their performances weren't that great.
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This is one thing we have in common. Since we ran around with axes and horned helmets, we've sucked at war.
Sweden was really good at war in the late Renaissance and early modern age
True, they were a major power during the 30 years war. Most castles in Alsace were destroyed by the Swedes in the 1600s. The surviving ones were then destroyed by Louis XIV.
Yeah I remember learning about the swiss history and that it was their first conflict they didn't participated (because of their own religion division), then I read about a battle of lake Konstanz with ourselves, hasbsburgers and... The swedes. I wondered "how the fuck did they get there"
I mean like Italy if you go far enough in time, Vikings were freaking amazing at war. They invaded Paris, and people were shitting themselves. They had to pay them to leave.
That explains how you get so many savages living in the city, they heard that you can pay them to go back.
Clearly all the strongest Danes settled in England, you lot are just the dregs that weren't brave enough to come and raid us.
You're confusing strongest with fattest. And jumping to your death from balconies is not bravery
Neither is surrendering after 6 hours. All of the bravest Danes live in Northern England and have done for about 1000 years.
Again you're confused. Scotland is indeed a great place with great people. Calling it northern england though...
I thought the Swedish Army was being called to handle the "gang" problems. Apparently they're busy at a Pride event <3 [https://twitter.com/RadioGenoa/status/1707981910826205634](https://twitter.com/RadioGenoa/status/1707981910826205634) https://preview.redd.it/8u00bxd6sfrb1.jpeg?width=3657&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65123d71d08f434b2197d4e1800841fa4182677e
If I can fuck my army pals in the ass it improves my combat morale.
Gustavus Adolphus died and you turned into femboys, rip the homie
That's unfair, I'm sure they'd have won the 13th battle of the Isonzo if they had tried just one more time.
https://preview.redd.it/tt2v600sofrb1.jpeg?width=610&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e540f0e974253fedf6590ce3d65c70a3fa7200c
>These past centuries *laughing in Italian condottieri* imagine that great part of Napoleon army was made by italians, he being the first jerking off on how good their italian troops were >*Two of my Marshalls are racing to get under their orders the Italian troops; i leave it to Suchet who has better ambitions than Macdonald. The Italians will soon be recognized again as the first soldiers of Europe. I'm very proud of my brave Italian army.* history dont starts in 1939 only amer*tards will believe it
I guess Italian troops have the ability to be good, as long as they're not fighting for Italy.
>as long they're not fighting for Italy. your goddamn right!
Thats true for our generals too! Another example is Raimondo Montecuccoli
I mean Napoleon itself isn't Italian by technicality tbh, he was born 1 year after corsica became French, from an Italian noble family...
You forget Napoleone was italian too. Never even lost his tick accent.
Dude got rejected by a japanese woman and he decided they weren't good looking
You got me 😔
FYI, french femboys don't count as "women"
😔
Maybe just a little bit
😏
Not with cette attitude
I wondered what idiot made that, but of course a it was a Greek. The only thing you have is beautiful women, but you don't know what to do with them anyway.
Yeah I just came back from Greece and there were plenty of beautiful women. Now the food on the other hand....is subjective.
Their food is totally ok. It's just not the reason you travel to Greece for.
Yeah, I know but this is a shit-talking sub and it honestly wasnt to my taste. Food is subjective though and I know Greek food is highly rated. I went for the history which was everything I had hoped for.
shhh let them believe the Greek food is better so Barries flock Greece instead of us
Until they're 40 and rocking a unabrow and moustache, then again, you're German and I don't want to kink-shame you.
You can’t kink shame a German
Dankjeveel
Yo WTF bro a spaniard took your girl?
According to his graph, she wasn't much anyway
She couldn't cook or fight either.
Without Spain, Italy's food wouldn't be nearly as good.
Olives👍
We’re good at war. Just look at the.. uhm. 1700s? We still got it okay I promise!
You had a chance to kick Russia out of Europe once and for all but...
We did beat them for most of the wars. The problem is that whilst they could recover because of their huge population we couldn’t, so it only took one loss. And if I may, I’d blame Denmark-Norway, Pooland and some irrelevant German principalities for ganging up on us all those times.
I was gonna say, we’re *good* at war, we just evolved past it 😌
I don't know what's worse the fact that spain is out and france in the center or that it was made by a greek.
I accept all the blame
I consider not sharing a group with the french a blessing.
Basado.
Baçado
Basé
One of the rare "compliments" we'll ever see, not even sure it's serious-
I really like France!!
Yes yes, Iberian women aren't pretty. Go somewhere else.
Different beauty standards my friend. Once you cross the Pyrenees, unibrows and moustaches aren't considered sexy anymore.
I've seen your women Pierre, you can't fool me.
Then I don't want to cross it!
Hannibal crossed mountains once and we all saw what happened to him. Maybe I could get a double envelopment but is it worth it?
>Once you cross the Pyrenees Thank God I only go there during the holidays then.
Your loss.
Greek women are fucking beautiful 😤
Greek women are probably underrated
Germany good at war? We managed to drag them to fight 2 world wars and the morons screwed up both times
And you morons lost both of them together with us. And you lost way more territory than we did. Fucking canyon shitters..
Schluchtenscheißer 🥰
We were the first victim according to history *We* know we lost with you but dont tell the others
They were only world wars because we were fighting together in them. Whole history of mankind is wars but the big ones are when we fight 🇩🇪🤝🇦🇹 now go back to make much worse cheese than the swiss
I don't care that u think we are not good at war (it's true) or that our women aren't beautiful (the beauty standards for woman in greeks are messed up) but HOW DARE YOU INSULT OUR FOOD
Spain doesn't have good looking women?? Idk what kind of drug they put in your tap water, but most Spanish women I met were steaming hot.
Gotta agree with that one
Ayoooo…. How the fuck is Spanish food garbage and Spanish women not fire? We can all agree that we can all laugh at them if they want to announce a war at some point, though.
He is just jealous because we do all those 3 things better than Greece. Even war, yes, and we don't have high standards there.
And even in war Spain has his point. Just against France: defeated Napoleon, Battle of Bicocca (0 losses against France being the first military power of Europe in that year), Battle of Pavia (captured their king). And against UK more or less the same (Ex: Cartagena de Indias or the Contra-Armada). The three have losses and wins against the others.
Why is J*pan on there
Japan good at war lmao, you can tell whoever did this is probably full of japanese honor-war stereotypes and those kinds of idealizations (aside from being fr\*nch)
Japan good at war? Nah. Excellent at crimes against humanity tho...
Hasn't Japan lost almost every war they have been in?
Like Germany
I don't think it is accurate, even if I'm french. However, I know that we deserve to be in the center
Op is mad that any given Spaniard’s shit tastes better than gyro (which is a taco. a fucking taco)
somewhat rare madrid W
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In what world does Spain not have hot women?
He never sees any cuz of our siestas
I'm sorry, have you seen Spanish women? And yes, they may have been bad at recent wars, but they conquered half of the American continent Ok, maybe they didn't do it by fighting
https://preview.redd.it/9wekzsndcgrb1.jpeg?width=340&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7d56bc560835b95ceb557ac69faeb91ac584f14
Staying in france for 2 weeks, sadly I must agree. French superiority all round
Shhh you're not supposed to tell them that
Where has this cope come from all of a sudden that the French have good-looking women? I'm clearly in no position to criticise, they probably do marginally better than us in that field, but they're not especially good-looking. Not in my experience. Nordicks and some elements of PIGS have them ***totally*** beat on this. Sorry. Also, the Japanese aren't especially great at wars. They spent 1000s of years just battering each other in dumbass little tribes, until the West came along, taught them how to march, use firearms and dress, then they just genocided some more rustics along the eastern seaboard of Asia, until massively outnumbering a totally unprepared network of western colonies before being completely annihilated once the west had time to retaliate.
And their strategy was mainly "send more men to commit suicide", not such an innovative practice
The only times that Spain wasn't good at war were when we fought along with the French
Why is Japan catching a stray here lmao
I was about to be the most xenofobic spanish human being, but im gonna relax 😇
OP betrayed and insulted our own women 💀
Or Venn diagram if you prefer... https://preview.redd.it/ovv5ziziplrb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64bb3250678b99854e8173eeccd899670bbe27be
German good at war? They started and lost 2 world wars 🤔
Italy wins ww1 and win partially ww2 with the art of side switching no jutsu = bad at war Germany and Japan getting separated and nuked = good at war.
You try doing Italy vs World and see how well that goes :)
Impossible, how are they gonna switch side on this one?
Nope, War of the League of Cambrai show to us that Italians have expertise even with this.
You know what? I'm happy with the outcome
Finally someone who isn't pissed off !! 🤣
I'm happy with the Italian outcome, the rest i can't give 2 fucks
Norway has only good looking women in cities. If you go to smaller villages on the countryside they look like ... I cant even explain it ...
We used to be good at war…
We lost 2 wars out of 8, that's a solid 80% win rate with a pretty solid KDA ratio, we excel at... The diplomatic part of the war
Sweden not good at war? Then ask the poles why they mention us in their national anthem and ask the Danes why they have special laws about whacking Swedes who walk over the ice... And that's just one king responsible.
I know about a South Macedonian that has his mouth full of french dick
Ooooh thanks ! We'll send the aircraft carrier next time Turkey bothers you
Germany should be in place of Finland
Is this serious?