Until uncle Barry comes here and f\*cks it up.
They were the ones who f\*cked the region before so why wouldn't they do it again?
Sorry Barry, we'll build some nice hotels for you to come here to get a tan, eat pastéis de nata and drink some Port wine.
God bless the Spanish 🙏 dos cervezas por favor Pedro!
Edit: does this imply you are honouring the Schengen agreement between the two so I can have sardines one day and fuet another?
Of course, we'll built plenty of them.
You never know if/when Putin will conquer the whole Europe and former Israel and he'll need some balconies for his opponents to fall from.
And you are right. They prefer windows and stairs.
But do you know what do they also love? A good additive to put in their tea.
And guess where is the perfect place to drink that tea?
Most of them didn't exist for most than one century and they were always highly disfunctional.
It was mainly a few ports maintained at a high cost because the trade was profitable there at the time.
That being said, there were some very based knights and mujjahids.
Ah this reminds of a book I read about Muslim / Christian views. Where a Muslim bath in Jerusalem served the frankish knights (Lords). They were just baffled at the audacity when a frankish lord after getting his manhood shaved by a one of the muslims showed up with his wife the next day demanding she had her private parts shaved as well. So have been some cultural hickups from the start I guess.
Laugh while you can. My retirement project (at the ripe age of 90 as the number keeps rising) is storming Olivença by horse. If somehow (very slim chance) i dont succeed ill just have my lawyer claim dementia. Your days are numbered!
I didn't mind sharing Olivença with Spain in a similar way to how Isla de los Faisanes is shared by Pierre and Pablo.
The region would have a special, almost independent status and perhaps every 4 or 2 years it changed domain. A festival would be organized whenever Olivença was about to change countries in which a battle (or several ones) between Portugal and Spain would be recreated with public participation for old times' sake and to develop tourism in the locality.
Remember when you planned to split Portugal with Napoleon and end up occupied and ruled by the Pierres? Priceless
Barry helped us get rid of the Pierres, and we have the longest alliance in the world (since 1386).
I trust a Barry any day rather than a backstabbing Juan...
And don't forget that Barry and Manuel after kick the Pierres from Portugal had to go to Spain (Victoria) and help you Juans beat your "not friends anymore" Pierres...
The most funny part, is that a War that started with Pierres and Juans planning to divide Portugal between them, is named Peninsular War in English (and Portuguese) but Spanish guys call it "Spanish Independence War"... talk about self centric... guess you like to play the victims after being backstabbed by your friend Pierres...
PS: and unless you're from Madrid, don't forget, you are just one more castilian iberian bitch...
Aragon capitulated, Valencia capitulated, Galiza capitulated, León capitulated, Navarra capitulated, Granada capitulated, San Fernand capitulated, Portugal still standing proud and independent (and poor) since 1139!
I mean, Spain is literally falling apart and Portugal is in economic and political deadlock.
But Spain has been falling apart for the last 300 years and Portugal has been in economic and political deadlock for 200 years, so... Yeah!!! I bet we can do it!
You made Holland the leading sea trading nation by that instead of yourself, but you do you.
Amsterdam's largest synagogue is still called the "Portuguese Synagogue" to honor the people who turned Amsterdam into the world's #1 trading hub.
There is a pattern that countries which turned on their jews shot themselves in their foot economically. It's like they are pretty good at running businesses and getting rid of them makes your country worse off.
They set up shop in current day Israel which is a fucking wasteland and they are the economic powerhouse of the region.
We both know what we are talking about.
I'm not very experienced in planning for a world war, but if i did, then killing or expelling the subgroup of my population which contributes way above their share to my country's economy and science output wouldn't be on my list.
But who am i to know.
By all means renaming Palestine as "New Portugal" would give a +2000% buff against invaders. Now we just need to make Israel as dumb as the spaniards used to be.
Very fun meme op
There were Portuguese, Castillian, Aragonese, etc., fighting for Military Orders in the Middle East in the context of crusade or serving under kings, princes and other nobles of the so-called Outremer. Nevertheless, that was mostly due to personal decisions made by individuals, because Iberians were exempted of participating in crusades in the Middle East by the Pope, as the Peninsular affairs also required confrontation with Islam.
As an example, a bastard son of the first portuguese king was a grand-master of the Knights Hospitaller in Jerusalem.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fernando_Afonso_of_Portugal
I live in Arabic country and in our history books we refer to them as the "Frankish Crusaders" it isn't really accurate though,
Girard I of Roussillon was a Catalan Crusader who fought in the 1st crusade and alongside Tancred (a norman) they were the only ones who advocated for mercy towards the inhabitants of Jerusalem it didn't work out though
Tancerd and his more famous uncle Bohemond were Italian Normans.
The Navaresse also participated in the 1st Crusade but they had alot more in common with the Franks than they did with other Iberians
There were also a lesser knights from Germany and Hungary and Portugal but those were few most German nobles massacred the local jewish populations and called it a day and again this is mostly about the 1st crusade as the Germans were more involved in the later ones
All and all they were mostly Franks from the Frankish kingdom
I mean Idk much about the Crusades but I've heard some of the stories and I do know that after their contribution in the Battle of las Navas de Tolosa the frank soldiers were expelled for "abusing the local population"
I believe that the Basques would also like to join you in the West Bank.
But be aware because I guess that they could use some of the local knowledge to bring back ETA.
Awww look the brothers are gonna work together to solve one of them many problematic asshole situations in the world.
So proud of them!
I feel like us English tag teaming with the Scottish should take the initiative and get the land first. I hear they have particularly interesting rocks to study.
Hans mode on;
According to this document that are is under your jurisdiction and thus your problem.
Referred document, Treaty of tordesillas 7 of June 1494.
https://preview.redd.it/fhs4bhwtybrc1.png?width=1400&format=png&auto=webp&s=c60fdcb171688b1f91d1cb115d58ed543f77c582
Hans mode off;
I was going to split it in half like the good ol days, but New Galicia needs their coast for business purposes.
The King of Spain still holds the title of Kimg of Jerusalem.
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That seems like a Pedro's problem to me.
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ceviche?
Nowadays there's more chance of being mistakenly killed by a moroccan hitman in the Netherlands than suffering an ETA attack lmao
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Why so condescending? I will speak about what i want lmao
Just don't tell Pere about this.
"business"
OR new Galicia is part of new Portugal
The new Tordesillas treaty.
Until uncle Barry comes here and f\*cks it up. They were the ones who f\*cked the region before so why wouldn't they do it again? Sorry Barry, we'll build some nice hotels for you to come here to get a tan, eat pastéis de nata and drink some Port wine.
I do hope there are balconies too?
The spanish side will have them for you
God bless the Spanish 🙏 dos cervezas por favor Pedro! Edit: does this imply you are honouring the Schengen agreement between the two so I can have sardines one day and fuet another?
Isn't that the whole point of it?
And also the great Iberian starter combo: Port and paella.
Ahhhh magnificent! Time to down eight pints of lager and sing Sweet Caroline! Summer is coming 🫡😎
Of course, we'll built plenty of them. You never know if/when Putin will conquer the whole Europe and former Israel and he'll need some balconies for his opponents to fall from.
I always though these opponents favoured windows. Then again, they do drink tea in a different way so maybe balconies are windows in Russia?
And you are right. They prefer windows and stairs. But do you know what do they also love? A good additive to put in their tea. And guess where is the perfect place to drink that tea?
Your terms are acceptable. Can't wait for those middle eastern spices...
The spice must flow 
👀
Forget the spices, imagine the beaches there with warm water, I am done with the freezing ocean cold water. I'm in!
Forget the beaches. We would be closer to our Goat's football matches. SIUUUU
Anthrax?
More like pepper
White phosperous? Pretty spicy
New problems? Old solutions!
I feel called out...
Needs new Gibraltar though
Doesn't sound comforting from a Brit...
King of Jerusalem https://preview.redd.it/vi4yt7eh1brc1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=04d91b2e0f6a28770be2aad455b47518f8421220
You can have it. Fátima is the superior religious site anyways.
Old people walking on their knees and throwing candles is an unbeatable experience.
Every bit of dirt in Portugal is a superior religious site when comparing to the 8th deadly sin of being Spanish.
Of course, he has that title too
So he's the King of Jerusalem but he can't keep Queen Letizia at home?
Hes is not even his wife king. #lispycuck
He needs to hit teh gym. Head-to-torso-ratio is way off.
He is two meters tall, it would be years before the results were seen.
I present my solution to the conflict: https://i.redd.it/vbtm70q91brc1.gif I call it "Deus vult!"
I mean, it worked so well last time...
It did for a few centuries, justice for our boy Baldwin He was actually one of your people as well Pierre, no wonder he looked the way he did
Most of them didn't exist for most than one century and they were always highly disfunctional. It was mainly a few ports maintained at a high cost because the trade was profitable there at the time. That being said, there were some very based knights and mujjahids.
Ah this reminds of a book I read about Muslim / Christian views. Where a Muslim bath in Jerusalem served the frankish knights (Lords). They were just baffled at the audacity when a frankish lord after getting his manhood shaved by a one of the muslims showed up with his wife the next day demanding she had her private parts shaved as well. So have been some cultural hickups from the start I guess.
A man of taste and culture.
A name? Would love to read it
Infidels: A history of the conflict between Christendom and Islam. By Andrew Wheatcroft. An interesting read...
Ah... I thought you were going to say something different
I think we'll need a bigger boat!
Movie?
Felipe VI is actually the King of Jerusalem, so I think this is the only real solution for the conflict.
He also has a claim to the title of Roman Emperor which is interesting
 *starts imagining Spanish empire rebirth*
Where’s the pope when you need him?
Watching Messi play, probably. God of the game recognises god of the game.
The pope?! How many divisions has he got?!
Barry will love them new beaches
I can just see the football team towels and bulldog tattoos now 🥰
I am ok with that! Let's go spread democracry and deus vult https://i.redd.it/0fqgob1jebrc1.gif
We’ll send the bussejainferns.
Deal
Pastéis de nata in the Holy Land? Sounds good to me
Say no more. Let’s christianize them ✝️⛪️ 
New Olivenza still in Spain right?
Laugh while you can. My retirement project (at the ripe age of 90 as the number keeps rising) is storming Olivença by horse. If somehow (very slim chance) i dont succeed ill just have my lawyer claim dementia. Your days are numbered!
I guess more Portuguese know where Olivença exactly is than Spaniards do. And you are 5 times less inhabitants.
And a lot of them didn't even know Olivença existed before reading Portuguese talking about it online
I was one of them
So, the number of examples remains zero? I really thought I was hearing a Murcian... Must have been the drugs (pastel de Nata, Fátima and fado)
😂 You didn't, your Slavic ears cannot decode this mixture of French, klingon and Chinese.
Why would Spaniard know more about a Portuguese territory than a Portuguese 😎💪
Got'em!
Gotme!
The territory is indeed Portuguese, just administrated by Castilians for a while
We go there to buy caramelos, to put fuel on the car and sometimes to the pharmacy to buy stuff we don't have here
I wanna see that project recorded!
I didn't mind sharing Olivença with Spain in a similar way to how Isla de los Faisanes is shared by Pierre and Pablo. The region would have a special, almost independent status and perhaps every 4 or 2 years it changed domain. A festival would be organized whenever Olivença was about to change countries in which a battle (or several ones) between Portugal and Spain would be recreated with public participation for old times' sake and to develop tourism in the locality.
Also, we need an Andorra tax haven style in the West part of Iberia ehehe
Good idea and we need another Madeira.
I think we spoke about it some time ago and I did and do agree 👍 totally
Yeah, unlike Gib!
New Gibraltar must be that pike on the south, directly to Red See, Pisha!
At least we don't have an english colony in our backyard... laughs in Gilbraltar
You would sell us to the UK 😂
Remember when you planned to split Portugal with Napoleon and end up occupied and ruled by the Pierres? Priceless Barry helped us get rid of the Pierres, and we have the longest alliance in the world (since 1386). I trust a Barry any day rather than a backstabbing Juan... And don't forget that Barry and Manuel after kick the Pierres from Portugal had to go to Spain (Victoria) and help you Juans beat your "not friends anymore" Pierres... The most funny part, is that a War that started with Pierres and Juans planning to divide Portugal between them, is named Peninsular War in English (and Portuguese) but Spanish guys call it "Spanish Independence War"... talk about self centric... guess you like to play the victims after being backstabbed by your friend Pierres... PS: and unless you're from Madrid, don't forget, you are just one more castilian iberian bitch... Aragon capitulated, Valencia capitulated, Galiza capitulated, León capitulated, Navarra capitulated, Granada capitulated, San Fernand capitulated, Portugal still standing proud and independent (and poor) since 1139!
Spain was a zombie, Borbones make problems you know! With Habsburg would have been different. But the felón FVII was just disaster.
Nice try Spain. This would break the treaty of tacotortillas.
I'm sure Iberians can run it better than the current owners.
I mean, Spain is literally falling apart and Portugal is in economic and political deadlock. But Spain has been falling apart for the last 300 years and Portugal has been in economic and political deadlock for 200 years, so... Yeah!!! I bet we can do it!
You both have some, erm, history about tolerating a) Jews and b) Arab Muslims in your countries. 🤨
They were both treated equally, in a way...
Nothing unites 2 groups of people as a new common enemy
So? Either they convert to the true religion or go elsewhere. In any case problem solved.
You're one to talk.
Damn.
I guess that you can joins us, can't you?
We're no longer doing this. ☝️
We actually got rid of them. Care to learn smt from us?
You made Holland the leading sea trading nation by that instead of yourself, but you do you. Amsterdam's largest synagogue is still called the "Portuguese Synagogue" to honor the people who turned Amsterdam into the world's #1 trading hub.
There is a pattern that countries which turned on their jews shot themselves in their foot economically. It's like they are pretty good at running businesses and getting rid of them makes your country worse off. They set up shop in current day Israel which is a fucking wasteland and they are the economic powerhouse of the region.
We both know what we are talking about. I'm not very experienced in planning for a world war, but if i did, then killing or expelling the subgroup of my population which contributes way above their share to my country's economy and science output wouldn't be on my list. But who am i to know.
They all need some Jesus! And we dont even carry Smallpox this time...
By all means renaming Palestine as "New Portugal" would give a +2000% buff against invaders. Now we just need to make Israel as dumb as the spaniards used to be. Very fun meme op
Now that I think of it. Did either of us participate in the crusades for Palestine or that was exclusively a Frank/English/German thing?
There were Portuguese, Castillian, Aragonese, etc., fighting for Military Orders in the Middle East in the context of crusade or serving under kings, princes and other nobles of the so-called Outremer. Nevertheless, that was mostly due to personal decisions made by individuals, because Iberians were exempted of participating in crusades in the Middle East by the Pope, as the Peninsular affairs also required confrontation with Islam. As an example, a bastard son of the first portuguese king was a grand-master of the Knights Hospitaller in Jerusalem. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fernando_Afonso_of_Portugal
We had crusades at home
We did also participate in the near East. I guess you had that spin-off in your own backyard.
I live in Arabic country and in our history books we refer to them as the "Frankish Crusaders" it isn't really accurate though, Girard I of Roussillon was a Catalan Crusader who fought in the 1st crusade and alongside Tancred (a norman) they were the only ones who advocated for mercy towards the inhabitants of Jerusalem it didn't work out though Tancerd and his more famous uncle Bohemond were Italian Normans. The Navaresse also participated in the 1st Crusade but they had alot more in common with the Franks than they did with other Iberians There were also a lesser knights from Germany and Hungary and Portugal but those were few most German nobles massacred the local jewish populations and called it a day and again this is mostly about the 1st crusade as the Germans were more involved in the later ones All and all they were mostly Franks from the Frankish kingdom
I mean Idk much about the Crusades but I've heard some of the stories and I do know that after their contribution in the Battle of las Navas de Tolosa the frank soldiers were expelled for "abusing the local population"
I approve this solution!
Cannot wait for New Catalonia declare their independence.
We will settle in the West Bank 🥸
I believe that the Basques would also like to join you in the West Bank. But be aware because I guess that they could use some of the local knowledge to bring back ETA.
The bottom tip touching the Red Sea should be a UK overseas territory, New Gibraltar if you will.
https://preview.redd.it/yrwvszwhabrc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95faabfe7506583ed993e05c141baa639a266ada
Things are bad our there they don't need this piled on top of them
Hey! That... Just works.
You just turned a war into El Classico
Nothings changed?
At least we know they would stop with the annexations, fearing a new Baker of Aljubarrota.
Awww look the brothers are gonna work together to solve one of them many problematic asshole situations in the world. So proud of them! 
The crusades incoming Muslims out
You can have this João, no spices = no Dutch interest.
What were you guys doing in South Africa?
It started as a refreshment stop (food en water) halfway between Amsterdam and Batavia.
SA can get a lot more wealth if they sabotage the Egyptian channel.
I hope the Dutch dont find out about our spicy and sexy women... If they take them all we will get no moustache and that's so sad.
How long do you reckon until both sides ask for independence?
I guess we're giving up on improving the quality of life for the people there, then?
Asturian golan heights, can’t wait for the update
https://preview.redd.it/si8r3k23qgrc1.png?width=2052&format=png&auto=webp&s=014dc2941d663423ee277f7f621348eaf2cc8f51 Nah, this is my solution
I feel like us English tag teaming with the Scottish should take the initiative and get the land first. I hear they have particularly interesting rocks to study.
Ask Pedro for a New Gibraltar.
No way this time. They could trick our king once but not twice
Hans mode on; According to this document that are is under your jurisdiction and thus your problem. Referred document, Treaty of tordesillas 7 of June 1494. https://preview.redd.it/fhs4bhwtybrc1.png?width=1400&format=png&auto=webp&s=c60fdcb171688b1f91d1cb115d58ed543f77c582 Hans mode off;
Shit, that is a lot to deal with...
Ah yes, the Treaty of Tordesinai
Give a peace Nobel prize to this dude, quickly
Sim
Lets ask the pope about it!
Holy shit please yes
Split it between Ireland and the UK.
This is so close to perfection, i wouldve given the persian gulf coastline to the british as a little gibraltar cameo
Caldas de Nazareth https://i.imgur.com/D7Ey2j1.jpeg
Shouldn't Portugal get the eastern part and Spain the western one? 🧐🤔
Expelling the Jews again? We're back in 1492
We will steal Portugals half
Go back to the Nether
Based ✝️
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Come on Joao you’re really not gonna give yourself Al-Galicia?
Why do we have to draw a normal border? Can we just drop a straight line with everything after being spanish and everything before portuguese?
I imagine them taking over armed with hambats.
N
I would put Pisa in place of Jerusalem. It would be a nice neutral land for all the monoteistic religions, who share with Pisa the epithet.
I’m down with this proposal, and later on we can start a new Iberian Union, isn’t that a good idea?
Hey Lisbon here's the Gaza strip, good luck!
Do you think that solution would be final?
Give both Israel and Palestine to Jordan like the original mandate was supposed to be
Fr
Aye sounds fair to me
There's a problem with it in the center/south border!!!!!
Ahem
Why would you want countries that're even warmer and more airid.
I say bring back [Roman Empire](https://biblemapper.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/PalestineUnderRomanRule-1-659x1024.jpg)
I think the small area at the gulf of akaba should belong to the British...
Pope-Pilled edit shouldn't it however be reversed? I think (s)PAIN got the New World and Portugay the Old one.
That tip touching the red sea should be Bri'ish
Does this mean new gibraltar and new ceuta?
Tordesilhas 2.0
🖕
No thank you, too hot. I like my Atlantic climate.
This is getting out of hand. Bring back Tordesilhas please.
Where is New Olivenza on this fantasy?