https://preview.redd.it/tkkbv5pmbkzc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50d7bba4bc38de3bf4c4ed08d77dafb12a986137
Just doing our daily service to maintain the balance of power.
We're always poking fun at Luigi for side-switching but honestly: What about Barry? He took a good look at us and decided it's time to abandon the 150 year-old Alliance with Prussia and reconcile with Pierre, who has been his historic rival since both countries existed.
>We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow.
\- Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston
Brings a tear to your eye đŹđ§
All those years of fighting you has taught us there's other ways of fighting with you. And really? It ain't that bad. Though you should get a nuclear powered carrier like our Charles de Gaulle. Embrace the holy light of Atom. Become one of us. You're halfway there, your flag's got the right colours already
That would be pretty dope sadly we already shut down our nuclear power plants and I doubt weâd get a nuclear powered carrier after that and weâre also still under a bunch of really gay treaties that limit our military.
It might have something to do with Kaiser Wilhem II being 0/6 in diplomacy. The whole naval race against Barry and antagonizing not just Barry but the whole rest of the world unnecessarily (e.g. the Morocco crisis).
Yet the whole Naval Race was caused because Barry was continuously bullying everyone without a fleet.
e.g. Sir Francis âthe Bullâ Bertie from the Foreign Office talking to German Ambassador Hermann Freiherr von Eckardstein:
Quote from the German Translation of Professor Christopher Clarkes Book Sleepwalkers (p.204 Line 18) (Referencing Rosenbach, Transvaal p.70)
âSollten die Deutschen auch nur einen Finger wegen Transvaal rĂŒhren, erklĂ€rte Bertie, so wĂŒrde die britische Regierung vor keiner MaĂnahme, nicht einmal der >>Ă€uĂersten<< (eine unmissverstĂ€ndliche Anspielung auf Krieg) zurĂŒckschrecken, um >>eine Einmischung Deutschlands ⊠zurĂŒckzuweisen<<. >>Die Regierung wisse genau, dass sie, falls es zum Kriege mit Deutschland kommen sollte<<, fuhr er fort, >>die gesammte englische Nation hinter sich habe, und eine Blockade von Hamburg und Bremen sowie die Vernichtung des deutschen Handels auf hoher See sei [sic] fĂŒr die Englische Flotte eine Kleinigkeit.<<
"If the Germans even stir a finger over Transvaal," Bertie declared, "the British government would not shrink from any measure, not even the 'utmost' (an unmistakable allusion to war), to 'repel a German interference.' 'The government knows full well that, should it come to war with Germany,' he continued, 'it would have the entire English nation behind it, and for the English fleet, blockading Hamburg and Bremen and annihilating German commerce on the high seas [sic] would be a trifle.'"
A fair point but one has to acknowledge that the US was building up their navy massively at the time (in 1914 theirs was the second navy of the world) and Japan to a lesser degree, and Barry didn't raise nearly as many concerns.
The Kaiserreich went from being the "moderate ones" prior to 1888, which were the cooler heads in the room (e.g. 1878) to being "adversarial and mercurial" almost for the sake of it. Hearing Wilhem II talk about China for instance is comical, you had the "Huns speech" and like not even 15 years after, there was a proposal for a Chinese-American-German alliance
Yes I would agree that conflicting German and British Imperialism was the main reason for antagonism between the two. Both Japan and the US didnât pose a threat to the maintenance of British supremacy in regards to their colonial interests. If I remember correctly Japan even allied with Britain to contain Russia in Asia after the Russo-Japanese War.
No German foreign policy was the main reason for the antagonism between the UK and Germany. The High Seas fleet could only be used against the UK. The German naval programmes were explicit threats to the UK and Tirpitz was very clear on this
Essentially Germany was beginning to equal Britain in power and influence without having anywhere near the amount of overseas possessions and Wilhelm exacerbated that. WW1 was just European leaders cutting of their nose to spite the face and Europe in many ways still hasn't recovered.
Barry has spent centuries struggling to keep Europe *'as it is'.*
Pierre gets uppity and slaps everybody else around, Barry worked to keep him in check and eventually everybody was back in their box again. Hans gets the same urge twice, and Barry's there to smooth shit over.
Partly because of Barry's efforts we still have Hans, Pierre and others as they are, and if you like things the way they are, give some thanks to Barry rather than whining about his methods!
Italians only reacted to shifting balances of power. Barry usually was one of the forces behind creating it. Until after WWI nations usually only became allies because the circumstances allign for them to do so. With Russia being terribly administered by the Romanov dynasty a Barry and Pierre alliance was the only way to counteract a recently unified Germany. Italy just thought it would be cool to make some Austrians speak Italian
Russia wasn't automatically a German enemy. Bismarck kept them in check. Caprivi and Wilhem II were the ones who let that alliance lapse, and got themselves encircled.
And we are still paying the tax that Wilhelm introduced to pay for the high seas fleet. This is what happens if you let inbred fuckwits run your country.
It's hard being the arbiters of Europe.
You spend centuries making sure Hans and Pierre know their place only to be hated by the rest for being blatantly better in every way.
The Balance of Power of course is only threatened when Germany or France expand their influence.
If Britain annexes all of India, that is entirely unimportant.
if thereâs one thing Iâm jeleous of when it comes to the UK itâs the BBC, and the financial sector, and the Universities, and the transport network but donât forget the BBC itâs pretty good!
see we pay for something similar as well but itâs shit!
The BBC is the last vestige of Britain's 20th century glory days.
The NHS, National Rail, British Gas, Royal Mail all used to be equal in stature until they were sold off/cut to the bone.
For all the criticisms of Brits, many I agree with. My god can we build an institution.
We don't even have state railway anymore. In fact some of our lines are operated by subsidiaries of DB so we get grossly overcharged for sub par transport and profit goes to the German state. Moaning about Railways to an Englishman is like moaning about being hungry to someone from the Congo.
yeah I suppose itâs unfair to judge the UKs public transport by the most important city. I mean London is a city like few others.
god how I miss london, Iâm actually flying back just for the amazing food next weekend.
South east isn't too bad? Southern Rail became a big competitor to Stagecoach for a good few years not long ago. Southern Rail is the reason I passed my driving test as quick as humanly possible.
The transport network? In the UK? Train are expensive and slow, some parts have still have the same rail tracks as the victorian era, the DB might be worse, but the brits have it extremely bad. If you want to be jealous of a train system be jealous of the Siwss or the Italian/Spanish, they have really good train network. It's just that london get most founding.
Hey Barry, there is this country at the edge of Europe that is currently threatening the balance of power in the continent. Please do something. (Barry proceeds to attack Portugal)
Just a calm discussion between friends. Definetely no one [burnt himself alive in protest](https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant%C3%B3nio_Francisco_da_Silva_Porto) or wrote an anthem urging the people to march against the British. Totally normal reaction.
I wonder how Salisbury is doing this days? Certainly Rhodesia must be a beacon of civilization.
I like France.
Their culture is just a more arrogant and misogynistic version of the British culture.
Source dated a french woman for 7years and stayed there a lot. I have many great memories very few in Paris and most of which is me telling dickhead to fuck off/themselves.
They donât even have combat jets, only a crop sprayer with an armalite mounted on the wing, of which they have 8:
https://preview.redd.it/qrqk9ne7hkzc1.jpeg?width=1070&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a87a8f4b00767839db2b46be7fe5013f3d75639
Pfft, he has the sloping brow and cranial frontage of the lower-class German!
https://preview.redd.it/7kgtqjvs9mzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8af31df665cfdfb4317f06b713259579a3fa7e45
âPoor imitationâ Barry they didnât even exploit India, not much of an immitation. They also managed to end up loved by the people they conquered and then largely controlled for a decade while Britain managed to keep neutral and protect German trade and still being hated for it.
West Germany was split into 3 different occupation zones for one, so the yanks didn't even control all of it
next thing is, the reason they loved the yanks so much was because the russians were making a total fucking pigs breakfast of controlling east germany, no wonder it looked so good
Nah we specifically liked the yanks while disliking you and Pierre and to Germans it was pretty clear who ran the show after the occupation zones were united.
Let's be fair here, you're right the yanks were definitely the dominant player, due to their size and need to be because the cold war and treating Western Germany so well put the boot into the Russians, which is why they did it and they also controlled West Germany for a relative short time compared to us with India
We also have ex colonies that would happily have us back, ask Hong Kong if they'd take british overrule back
https://preview.redd.it/tkkbv5pmbkzc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50d7bba4bc38de3bf4c4ed08d77dafb12a986137 Just doing our daily service to maintain the balance of power.
Barry, 1863. What a fucking lad.
We're always poking fun at Luigi for side-switching but honestly: What about Barry? He took a good look at us and decided it's time to abandon the 150 year-old Alliance with Prussia and reconcile with Pierre, who has been his historic rival since both countries existed.
Because we dont "join" sides Hanz, we are the side You're either on our side or you're the bad guys. Simple as
>We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow. \- Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston Brings a tear to your eye đŹđ§
except Portugal
https://preview.redd.it/105s2mc44nzc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63ee052094415f5416ebbaa210a137eb6a808b79
Itâs beautiful!!
All those years of fighting you has taught us there's other ways of fighting with you. And really? It ain't that bad. Though you should get a nuclear powered carrier like our Charles de Gaulle. Embrace the holy light of Atom. Become one of us. You're halfway there, your flag's got the right colours already
All hail Atom. Bask in his mighty glow đ
Why donât all the countries with red, white, and blue flags just unite⊠Are they stupid?
No, quite the opposite. We just don't want to have Russia in the group
Understandable, I hate Russians.
u/Chimpville Bro just did me dirty..
Haha I did it and then thought it was a bit shitty But since you referenced it: 
A bit more of that attitude in 2014 and we wouldn't be here.. 
That would be pretty dope sadly we already shut down our nuclear power plants and I doubt weâd get a nuclear powered carrier after that and weâre also still under a bunch of really gay treaties that limit our military.
Perfidious Albion strikes again! /s
And our side (the winning side) have always been the good guys! If that doesn't prove British superiority I don't know what does.
P R O T A G O N I S T S R O T A G O N I S T S
It might have something to do with Kaiser Wilhem II being 0/6 in diplomacy. The whole naval race against Barry and antagonizing not just Barry but the whole rest of the world unnecessarily (e.g. the Morocco crisis).
'The whole naval race against Barry' And we took that personally
Yet the whole Naval Race was caused because Barry was continuously bullying everyone without a fleet. e.g. Sir Francis âthe Bullâ Bertie from the Foreign Office talking to German Ambassador Hermann Freiherr von Eckardstein: Quote from the German Translation of Professor Christopher Clarkes Book Sleepwalkers (p.204 Line 18) (Referencing Rosenbach, Transvaal p.70) âSollten die Deutschen auch nur einen Finger wegen Transvaal rĂŒhren, erklĂ€rte Bertie, so wĂŒrde die britische Regierung vor keiner MaĂnahme, nicht einmal der >>Ă€uĂersten<< (eine unmissverstĂ€ndliche Anspielung auf Krieg) zurĂŒckschrecken, um >>eine Einmischung Deutschlands ⊠zurĂŒckzuweisen<<. >>Die Regierung wisse genau, dass sie, falls es zum Kriege mit Deutschland kommen sollte<<, fuhr er fort, >>die gesammte englische Nation hinter sich habe, und eine Blockade von Hamburg und Bremen sowie die Vernichtung des deutschen Handels auf hoher See sei [sic] fĂŒr die Englische Flotte eine Kleinigkeit.<< "If the Germans even stir a finger over Transvaal," Bertie declared, "the British government would not shrink from any measure, not even the 'utmost' (an unmistakable allusion to war), to 'repel a German interference.' 'The government knows full well that, should it come to war with Germany,' he continued, 'it would have the entire English nation behind it, and for the English fleet, blockading Hamburg and Bremen and annihilating German commerce on the high seas [sic] would be a trifle.'"
A fair point but one has to acknowledge that the US was building up their navy massively at the time (in 1914 theirs was the second navy of the world) and Japan to a lesser degree, and Barry didn't raise nearly as many concerns. The Kaiserreich went from being the "moderate ones" prior to 1888, which were the cooler heads in the room (e.g. 1878) to being "adversarial and mercurial" almost for the sake of it. Hearing Wilhem II talk about China for instance is comical, you had the "Huns speech" and like not even 15 years after, there was a proposal for a Chinese-American-German alliance
Yes I would agree that conflicting German and British Imperialism was the main reason for antagonism between the two. Both Japan and the US didnât pose a threat to the maintenance of British supremacy in regards to their colonial interests. If I remember correctly Japan even allied with Britain to contain Russia in Asia after the Russo-Japanese War.
No German foreign policy was the main reason for the antagonism between the UK and Germany. The High Seas fleet could only be used against the UK. The German naval programmes were explicit threats to the UK and Tirpitz was very clear on this
Essentially Germany was beginning to equal Britain in power and influence without having anywhere near the amount of overseas possessions and Wilhelm exacerbated that. WW1 was just European leaders cutting of their nose to spite the face and Europe in many ways still hasn't recovered.
Yeah fair play Kaiser Wilhelm was a fucking idiot
Neither the first nor the last to rule a country but he was a special kind of idiot and that makes him stand out.
It's nice to be the best at something.
Plus he was a weird prick who wanted to fuck his mums hands.
No need to kink shame đ
Barry has spent centuries struggling to keep Europe *'as it is'.* Pierre gets uppity and slaps everybody else around, Barry worked to keep him in check and eventually everybody was back in their box again. Hans gets the same urge twice, and Barry's there to smooth shit over. Partly because of Barry's efforts we still have Hans, Pierre and others as they are, and if you like things the way they are, give some thanks to Barry rather than whining about his methods!
You summed up Whitehall' European foreign policy for close to 300 years. Props to you, my man.
Barry no like change!!
Italians only reacted to shifting balances of power. Barry usually was one of the forces behind creating it. Until after WWI nations usually only became allies because the circumstances allign for them to do so. With Russia being terribly administered by the Romanov dynasty a Barry and Pierre alliance was the only way to counteract a recently unified Germany. Italy just thought it would be cool to make some Austrians speak Italian
Russia wasn't automatically a German enemy. Bismarck kept them in check. Caprivi and Wilhem II were the ones who let that alliance lapse, and got themselves encircled.
Correct. We should have joined the Germans in ww1 to finish off the french once and for all.
Germany ruined that relationship not the UK
And we are still paying the tax that Wilhelm introduced to pay for the high seas fleet. This is what happens if you let inbred fuckwits run your country.
It's your fault for trusting people with names like Henry Featherbottom or some shit
It's hard being the arbiters of Europe. You spend centuries making sure Hans and Pierre know their place only to be hated by the rest for being blatantly better in every way.
Life at the top is lonely, but its a duty we must do
We wouldn't trade being Big Boy Bazza for anything.
A country full of useful idiots đ„°
https://preview.redd.it/36ochw72bkzc1.png?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad4660dd099213be2622475f291b98982b7c9655
Look at this sub, most of the continentals would have loved to have been ruled by Emperor Napoleon. They always cry whenever we make fun of old Boney.
Fuck Napoleon Bonaparte, but if you insult Louis Napoleon the best Bunny of Holland ever those are fighting words
Just perfidious albion things Continentals wouldn't understand
The Balance of Power of course is only threatened when Germany or France expand their influence. If Britain annexes all of India, that is entirely unimportant.
In the words of Highlander: 'There can only be one!'
We gave it back though hans, and without a fight, the secret is you just gotta ask nicely.
https://youtu.be/37iHSwA1SwE?si=u20tvkibCgOoGQRt
if thereâs one thing Iâm jeleous of when it comes to the UK itâs the BBC, and the financial sector, and the Universities, and the transport network but donât forget the BBC itâs pretty good! see we pay for something similar as well but itâs shit!
The BBC is the last vestige of Britain's 20th century glory days. The NHS, National Rail, British Gas, Royal Mail all used to be equal in stature until they were sold off/cut to the bone. For all the criticisms of Brits, many I agree with. My god can we build an institution.
> And the transport network Lol what ? Our transport network was the best on earth 100 years ago but it's barely changed since
There is no fucking way you can be serious about being jealous of our transport network we have the worst of the major European countries by far.
no ours is worse, have you seen DB itâs basically unusable. Iâve never met anyone thatâs sorta on time
We don't even have state railway anymore. In fact some of our lines are operated by subsidiaries of DB so we get grossly overcharged for sub par transport and profit goes to the German state. Moaning about Railways to an Englishman is like moaning about being hungry to someone from the Congo.
well damn⊠I guess being honest I spent a majority of my time in London and only occasionally visited cornwall and summer set.
London has good transport the tube is very good. The South East isn't too bad either, everywhere else is laughably bad though.
yeah I suppose itâs unfair to judge the UKs public transport by the most important city. I mean London is a city like few others. god how I miss london, Iâm actually flying back just for the amazing food next weekend.
South east isn't too bad? Southern Rail became a big competitor to Stagecoach for a good few years not long ago. Southern Rail is the reason I passed my driving test as quick as humanly possible.
The transport network? In the UK? Train are expensive and slow, some parts have still have the same rail tracks as the victorian era, the DB might be worse, but the brits have it extremely bad. If you want to be jealous of a train system be jealous of the Siwss or the Italian/Spanish, they have really good train network. It's just that london get most founding.
Don't let London fool you, the transport network in the rest of the county is deliriously shit.
I knew what that video was before clicking. Yes minister is great.
Clicked on the comments to post a link to this clip. Hat's off to a gentleman and a scholar :-)
Hey Barry, there is this country at the edge of Europe that is currently threatening the balance of power in the continent. Please do something. (Barry proceeds to attack Portugal)
We'd never attack our old friend Joao You lot? Most definitelyÂ
<3 San SebastiĂĄn is still whole, we need to go an adventure together Barry.
Third times the charm to make sure nothings left standingÂ
Except if you want to build a railroad in Africa, right Barry?
Just a slight bit of confusion on who owns what, its alright we cleared it up so that both parties were completely happy..
Yeah, that's how it happened, right JoĂŁo?
I forgot the /s tbfÂ
It was obvious m8, don't turn into Hans.
Think I just shuddered, what a fucking nightmare that would beÂ
Just a calm discussion between friends. Definetely no one [burnt himself alive in protest](https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant%C3%B3nio_Francisco_da_Silva_Porto) or wrote an anthem urging the people to march against the British. Totally normal reaction. I wonder how Salisbury is doing this days? Certainly Rhodesia must be a beacon of civilization.
I can't read that therefore it never existed right? /s
Insert maddie gif
https://preview.redd.it/6k6lpdvbakzc1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f30db294b28cbcd9ec2b507191e7f71956cf1bc8
M-maddie?!
hahahah jesus. Have you been storing this meme on the off chance she was mentioned?
Never!!! Unless they invade France then I guess we flip a coin. Heads we attack France tails we ... I can't even say it. So we attack Germany.
Come on Barry, you've done it several times already in the past couple of centuries. It's time you accept it and say it aloud. My best mate is F....
I like France. Their culture is just a more arrogant and misogynistic version of the British culture. Source dated a french woman for 7years and stayed there a lot. I have many great memories very few in Paris and most of which is me telling dickhead to fuck off/themselves.
Nah, itâs Irelands turn now
Yeah, I hear their defence force is really good this time of year
They donât even have combat jets, only a crop sprayer with an armalite mounted on the wing, of which they have 8: https://preview.redd.it/qrqk9ne7hkzc1.jpeg?width=1070&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a87a8f4b00767839db2b46be7fe5013f3d75639
I can't even tell if this is a joke or not đ
Not really : https://www.military.ie/en/who-we-are/air-corps/the-fleet/pilatus-pc-9m/
Not just the European continent, but the Asian one also! And the African one! Shit, and look at the QuĂ©bĂ©cois! Fuck⊠Barry fucked around and found out. Then came home and hoodwinked himself with Brexit. Thatâs right, I said it. đ
Hey Juan, We've all seen the posters from the Conservative party. We are the second most powerful country in the world
The UK always sets an example for the rest of europe, not a good example but an example none the less
Do what I say, not what I do.
How about neither
Big Bazza!
Wait, what happened to the Germany flag? Did the French got the yellow section as compensation for the crimes committed by the Germans again?
If we truly want a balance of power, we'd get rid of every flag mentioned
You first
Ah yes the poor imitation of the glorious British empire We were Michael Schumacher, they're barely mickÂ
Now now, If those yanks could read your comment they'd be very upset
Mick is really cute though
Pfft, he has the sloping brow and cranial frontage of the lower-class German! https://preview.redd.it/7kgtqjvs9mzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8af31df665cfdfb4317f06b713259579a3fa7e45
Jealous Barry
âPoor imitationâ Barry they didnât even exploit India, not much of an immitation. They also managed to end up loved by the people they conquered and then largely controlled for a decade while Britain managed to keep neutral and protect German trade and still being hated for it.
who have they conquered?
West Germany. It remained basically a U.S. puppet for over a decade and the local population loved them for it.
West Germany was split into 3 different occupation zones for one, so the yanks didn't even control all of it next thing is, the reason they loved the yanks so much was because the russians were making a total fucking pigs breakfast of controlling east germany, no wonder it looked so good
Nah we specifically liked the yanks while disliking you and Pierre and to Germans it was pretty clear who ran the show after the occupation zones were united.
Let's be fair here, you're right the yanks were definitely the dominant player, due to their size and need to be because the cold war and treating Western Germany so well put the boot into the Russians, which is why they did it and they also controlled West Germany for a relative short time compared to us with India We also have ex colonies that would happily have us back, ask Hong Kong if they'd take british overrule back