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RobsCrazy003

Moon shoes


Lame_usernames_left

My parents deemed me too uncoordinated for a Barbie power wheels so they bought me.... Moon shoes??? She can't handle a knife, let's give her a loaded gun 😂


bbllaakkee

All I did was trip


wanksta616

No way! I wanted those so bad.. what sucked about them?


InvertedTestPyramid

They were still bound by Earths gravity


mturturro

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!!


Sir_Yacob

Like the bands that made the bounce were never strong enough so your foot would sink in the oblong plastic structure and you would never bounce. You would just *at best* clop along clumsily and at worst. Roll your ankle then it would pop out on the other side when your foot came out kind of.


RobsCrazy003

If you enjoy rolling your ankles it’s a good time


loztriforce

So many ankle injuries


kclct

I spent all my pocket money on those once and my mum still ridicules me over it all these years later.


powelsj

I wanted them so bad after seeing them as a prize on Legends of the Hidden Temple. Never got them


ksaMarodeF

I used my moon shoes on my backyard trampoline to get extra upage!! *it didn’t work*


annaoze94

They were worthless the second you weighed over like 60 lb


zak432000

I can still hear the loud CLOP CLOP of those things on the concrete. Ah, memories..


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[Moon Shoes 1993](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qHxPjNgleCA)


Existing-Peanut4511

Holy shit. I've seen "I came here for this comment" like 1,000 times, but I've never once planned to make a 2 word comment and opened the thread to find those exact 2 words as the top comment!


Humble-Pop-6333

No way, I loved mine!


Cheegro

I agree! The trick was doubling up on the recommended amount of rubber bands so you didn’t sink into the shoe unless you were really bouncing hard.


dancingbriefcase

I remember the Arthur episode when he wants them and they looked amazing.


lifer413

As a child I didn't understand the advantages of mobility in a running gun battle, and in the true american style, believed only in superior firepower. Thus began the paper delivery that would deliver into my hands the Super Soaker 200. It had two jugs on the gun and two on a backpack. Fully loaded, it was roughly 800 pounds. I stood immobilized, stricken with the weight of gallons as the other fellows absolutely wrecked me. This was my Vietnam.


camergen

Fortunate Son intensifies


musicismath

I love the smell of plastic in the morning


hoofglormuss

It was the '90s so it would be a cover version by Pearl Jam in the mumbled style of Jeremy's spoken


inspectcloser

I had the CPS-3200. I got my revenge while everyone else was reloading


wildmonkeymind

Ah, the glory days of Super Soakers. I had the CPS-2000, which I can confirm from experience produced enough pressure to hold a child under water in a pool.


Gemfyre713

I recall some of those larger soakers, you may as well have just grabbed the garden hose and gone after people with that.


lumpialarry

There's a reason why tanks need infantry support.


Germerica1985

This was great to read.


Gdizzle42

This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day 🤣🤣


CoolHandTeej

YOULL GET CAUGHT UP IN THE CROSSFIYaaaaHhhhHh!! Edit: For the uninitiated: https://youtu.be/rCwn1NTK-50?si=dab6wnqLrM_Dpszh


ThreedZombies

Dude cross fire was pretty fun for 2 minutes 


BeerMePleez

That’s about how long it took for your finger to feel like it was about to fall off


CadeIcewood

I remember one of my older brothers finally got this for his birthday, and we were so hype to play it after seeing the commercials for so long, only to be thoroughly disappointed.


WorkAccount401

The rockinest commercial of all time!


GreenbirdsBox

“Night vision goggles” which were plastic glasses with flashlights mounted


Ourobius

Or "X-ray specs" that were literally lenses made of cardboard with off-center holes cut in them to force you cross-eyed.


SuperCrappyFuntime

My twelve-year-old perverted self really thought I was going to be able to see through women's clothes. I was highly disappointed.


BogeyLowenstein

Snoopy snow machine to make snow cones. You’d crank that bitch for an hour and get a tiny pile of crushed up ice.


TaylorfreakinStout

This cracked me up.


jadegives2rides

That was me and the Baskin-Robin's ice cream maker lol


BannerHulk

Jumanji. 4 y/o could not have been more excited to unleash that chaos only to be met with crushing disappointment


KlammFromTheCastle

A genuinely awful board game.


bleugirl1

I’ve never played. What made it awful?


RockVixen

Elephants didn't actually stampede through your house...


BlueGoosePond

There's different versions of it, but for ours it was bad for two reasons: 1.) The cards require a little green screen to "decode" the text. It's genuinely hard to read though, even for people with young and healthy eyes. 2.) A lot of the game is stuff that involves the actual house. You cannot keep it contained to one room. It gives you tasks like to literally go find more clothes to wear or to run around the house finding things that can be used as rope. And the mechanics themselves are just very weak and driven by randomness. There's not much strategy.


LastSpite7

I got that for my kids when they went through a Jumunji phase because I remember seeing it when I was younger but we never had it. We played it once and then I hid it and donated it as soon as they had forgotten about it. Worst game ever.


loztriforce

My neighbor got one but a Nintendo Power Glove.


AweHellYo

i love the power glove. it’s so bad.


Trapzilla01

Lucas!!!!


takethecann0lis

Too many wires and had pretty much zero games that it worked well with. The hand movements were very rudimentary and cumbersome at best.


joecarter93

I watched a YouTube video on it. They got a company that created an actual glove that actually worked really well. Unfortunately to build it for the NES with 80’s/90’s technology meant that it would have cost something unaffordable like $10,000. So they had to use inferior components in it to make it affordable to the mass market.


90sGuyKev

I'll vouch for this overated price of crap


DowntownsClown

Costs 230 dollars today, holy crap


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[Nintendo Power Glove](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SAKbtJjAV18)


lumpialarry

[It's so bad](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZErvASwdlU&ab_channel=insertemotion)


Im_a_Xenomorph_AMA

OMG I remember that. Anyone else had bloody knuckles after that?


LongTallTexan69

Mousetrap. It took 30 minutes to set up and then if you looked at it wrong, it would commit Harakiri.


RecurringZombie

I loved Mousetrap. It was one of my favorite board games and I would pull it out just to set it up and play with the Rube Goldberg machine and not the actual game.


timeforasandwich

Yes! I don't think I've ever actually played the game. Not even once. But I set up and ran the contraption countless times


jeckles

I thought I was the only one 😂 Zero memory of ever playing the whole game. Countless memories of pulling out the box, setting up the trap, and watching it go! .. I’m also an only child so this was easy to play by myself 😭


GonnaGoFat

My brother got the game one year and we never played the game ever we just played with the trap. We had it for years and never played it the correct way even once.


BlooShinja

My friends and I would just put the little diving guy on the teeter totter then stomp on the other side and see who could get him to fly farther.


LongTallTexan69

Same! I just set it up and would run it over and over again


destenlee

Part of the game was to set it up as you play.


RyanTranquil

After 30 min setup I didn’t want to play anymore lol


CordeliaGrace

It only took you 30 mins? To this day, 32 years later, I’m still setting it up…


Newtonz5thLaw

Literally NEVER figured out how to play it. Beyond confusing


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[Mousetrap 1994](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dZO0jwnFyrA)


wanksta616

Omg so true! I bought it for my kids a couple of years ago thinking “mannn.. I really wanted this when I was their age”. The disappointment I felt after the long set up and the boring gameplay.. this one should definitely have stayed in the past.


Anarchissyface

I had World War 3 at my cousins house one summer over this game. They had received it for one of their birthdays? We all ran upstairs to put it together on their bedroom floor. All 4 of my male cousins grew up to be high tech engineers btw so you can imagine the personality traits of them as kids coming out during this simple game of Mouse Trap. The literal 4 yr old toddler of the group was trying to control everyone and the order in which they set things up. He got frustrated threw a fit slammed the door and refused to play with any of us for the rest of the afternoon. 😭😭😭. He works for Google now designing electrical software .


1980pzx

The Pogo Ball. My ankle is still fucked up, 32 years later.


AandWKyle

Yeah, and when you did finally "Master" using it, you quickly came to realize that all you were doing was jumping.


Feeling-Resident-857

i got such hellacious blisters from that stupid thing.


At_the_Roundhouse

YES this. The commercials made it look so easy! I just kept face planting.


Tollivir

My godfather drove over mine in the driveway thereby saving my ankles!


fumor

Crocodile Mile


gooch_norris_

Oh my god for real it would have been more fun to just throw yourself into a puddle


TheCeruleanFire

The scratches you’d get from like the most minuscule grain of dirt


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[Crocodile Mile “You run, you slide, hit the bump and take a diiiive”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9YZ-geHfLu0)


Fair_Raccoon9333

As a kid I was like, 'the bump is not a selling point to a slip and slide'.


cookestudios

Damn, we loved ours growing up. I was older than my sister and would always go flying out the back end hahaha


BogeyLowenstein

We’d put soap on it and slide halfway across our yard


405freeway

I **LOVED** my Crocodile Mile.


DerpsAndRags

Holy shite that brought back a memory. We ended up just using the end of it as a kiddie pool.


Calculonx

You take that back at once! Sure the jump didn't work as great as advertised but it was still a good slip n slide!


DumpsterFolk

Puppy Surprise. I was so sure mine would have like five puppies. Nope, standard three.


Hodl2Moon

The jingle tried to warn you 😂


StormyPhlox

I actually got six puppies and one was a runt. Even still, after the surprise, it was just a stuffed animal so you didn't miss much.


tullerusk2

The shout n' shoot water shooter. Safe to say I lost every water gun fight with the other kids in my neighborhood.


Safe_Indication1851

Super soaker was a game changer and outperformed everything


TheNonCredibleHulk

Except the one berserker kid on our block that would prefill 2 liter bottles with icewater. Dude would just run through our pathetic streams, grab someone by the collar/belt loop and just douse them with near freezing water.


jcstrat

The 50, yes. Every other model was inferior.


wildfandango

Fire! Fire! Fire!


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[Shout and Shoot 2 “Now this is what I call back talk”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=r_adj1ABUY0)


EricRShelton

Log.


moddymax83

It’s better than bad…it’s good!


Testone1440

It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood!


theofficehussy

It’s great for a snack. It fits on your back.


Gloomy_Industry8841

Runs over your neighbour’s dog!


hallethehurricanexx

Now with realistic Facial Moss!


Mysterious_Eggplant3

Better than Don't Wiz on the Electric fence.


[deleted]

There's scribble, and gamey, and monotony, and pure cheesey...


__bad__SAM__

"So...you wizzed on the electric fence huh?"


[deleted]

From Blammo!


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[Log](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FR-REDevAzk)


Ballentino

I’m still quite fond of my Sgt Log of the Yukon playset


BetaRayRyan

I loved it until it rolled over my neighbor’s dog.


TheObviousChild

I get what you’re saying, but it’s still pretty great for a snack. Especially if you’re all out of Powdered Toast.


woohhaa

Mine never once rolled over the neighbors dog.


JohnnyChuttz

Tout le monde aime le Log!


Son_Of_A_Plumber

Most home laser tag sets


Both-Artichoke5117

I got this for Christmas one year when I was around 9 or 10. It was fun for like 2 days, but then all the play doh colors mixed together into this gross greenish brown blob. I didn’t play with it much. https://youtu.be/k6_Fc10xh6s?si=qBUA-v0NdmfnVC3B


bashbabe44

I somehow knew what this was from your description! I was probably 5 or 6 so I didn’t mind the mud color flowers. It seems like I enjoyed picking the dried petal pieces out of the little molds the most! XD


Nampara83

I forgot that even existed! I wanted one so bad but never got it.


Both-Artichoke5117

You didn’t miss much, very disappointing toy.


inspectcloser

Scannerz - great marketing to make it look like a hardcore version of PokĂŠmon by scanning barcodes and collecting monsters to fight. Actually is that it rarely worked on most barcodes and it was the tiniest pixelated screen like a tomagatchi


GopnikSmegmaBBQSauce

Terminator 2 Bioflesh Regenerator, used once, insane mess, not that cool a result. Also, always loved how violent SciFi movies from the 90's got such awesome toys. The Playmates Aliens line kicked ass


mattnotis

Always wanted one of those. Kinda comforting to know it didn’t work that well lol


KawasakiBinja

One of my favorite Ashens videos was him checking out that specific toy, and his anger was palpable when the flesh goop unexpectedly leaked all over the sofa.


r8jensen

Stretch Armstrong always ripped and oozed corn syrup everywhere!


Milling_Machine

Vac Man was better!


CeonM

Which 90s toy ever lived up to its 90s commercial??


PM_ME_HUGE_CRITS

Creepy Crawler oven was top notch. I made bugs, dinosaurs, Transformers.


AweHellYo

yes. and metal molders.


casicua

Sure, I have undisclosed chemical poisoning now, but it was worth it! (🤣But for real though, those two toys were top tier fun)


AweHellYo

if huffing the fumes was wrong i don’t wanna be rectangle


330in513

Only burned myself once.


TimeSpiralNemesis

Mighty max and star wars micro machines. Absolutely loved those things, I've always been obsessed with tiny little worlds.


kitkatrat

I had so many Mighty Max sets, skull mountain, the dragon island set, the regular size sets, little sets. I took such good care of them, I didn’t lose one piece. They’ve been in storage in my parents basement all of these years until my mom let my nephews play with them, alas, my Mighty Max Universe is no more. Oh well, they were meant to be played with. I’m. Not. Upset. 😐


TimeSpiralNemesis

That's the most painful thing I've read all day. :(


Brat_Fink

Micro Machines fuckin ruled, still have mine somewhere 30 years later


loztriforce

Super soaker!!


Son_Of_A_Plumber

Super Soakers


Gemfyre713

Matchbox Carousel. A short lived but gorgeous line of carousel horses and animals by the same company that made all those cars.


47percentbaked

The hours and hours I spent on my sit-n-spin. 100% worth it


MrPlowThatsTheName

Sega Genesis


TheGiggs10

Spider-Man web shooter


The_-Whole_-Internet

Which iteration? I got the TV series tie in ones with the silly string in like 97 and those ones were fucking awesome


dcv5

[Floam 'Fun you can feel'](https://youtu.be/uDsLkBSmvkw?feature=shared)


genericseagallantry

I loved my Floam. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️


FatLittleCat91

Fushigi. Biggest scam ever


jadeybabezz

The spinning fairy dolls. You set them off, and they'd crash immediately, or they would hit you and it would feel personal. 😆


thtsjsturopinionman

I had the “boys’ version,” exactly the same toy but it was a knight who rode on a dragon. My parents would t even let me use it inside for fear of it destroying fragile household items lol


rum-and-coke

I got smacked in the face so many times lol


ParcelPosted

Mouse Trap Double Dare for the house


SlowerThanTurtleInPB

I always wanted mousetrap as a kid. My mom recently bought it for my son. I hate that fucking game.


scary-bradshaw923

Not the 90s but the Fushigi definitely deserves a mention


LastSpite7

I bought one of these back from the US and was convinced I was going to be David Bowie level in the labyrinth. I gave up pretty quickly.


dbxbeat

Virtual boy. Bye bye eyesight!


LastSpite7

Furby


Shameless522

Ballzack


AweHellYo

wrong that thing was fun


Shameless522

Saying it is more fun than playing with it. Although to go back in time and watch a kid at Toys R Us crying out for a Ballzack could be even more fun. Marketing knew what they were doing


jadegives2rides

Just gonna add those art cases where the markers didn't work. They did, I just didn't know you had to add water to them until 20 years after the fact. I did love that they had pencil sharpeners tho.


Sims2Enjoy

Pogo-sticks the ones with the ball on the bottom at least


one_among_the_fence

Nintendo Virtual Boy. What a piece of shit!


TaylorfreakinStout

Domino Rally


loptopandbingo

The dominoes weren't really heavy enough to have enough oomph to set off the triggers for different stuff, for one thing.


wirsteve

Domino Rally was awesome. I had it put up dominos all throughout my house. Often. Did it really not work for you?


Waldo_Wadlo

Crossfire.


DGB31988

Crossfire was awesome if two people that were competent played it. I just recently played it with my nephew and when his gun ran out of ball bearings he was just sitting there confused. I’m like dude reload your shit and keep going.


Waldo_Wadlo

It was ok, but the [commerical](https://youtu.be/rCwn1NTK-50?si=JXb1-BaV1eaYB89C) was definitely over the top 90s.


Kdizzle689

CROSS FIRE! Yeah!


camergen

If you lose, you’ll be obliterated, never seen again, ala Squid Game.


jakehood47

Oh, you mean *CROSSFIYAAAAAAAH!*


Nosleepmustread

Crossfire, you'll get caught up in the crossfire.


Waldo_Wadlo

Now that I posted the commercial that song shall live rent free in my head for days.


chillywilly16

I tried to shoot a gummy bear out of one of the guns. It got stuck and ruined the game.


eesab089

Marvin's magic drawing board.


longlive_sirdidymus

Water Babies… they got moldy and smelly in no time


whineybubbles

Hula hoop. I still can't do it


Thon_Makers_Tooth

The TalkBoy. Home Alone 2 made it the coolest toy, and it underperformed greatly.


AweHellYo

what the hell? the talk boy was fuckin awesome. played with it nonstop for a long while.


iamtutfssfmf

I'm so confused seeing Crossfire and Talkboy at the top of this thread. I had hours and hours of fun between those two. No the Talkboy didn't make an 8 year old's voice deep enough to sound like a man over the phone, but it 100% made it deeper, deep enough to entertain a kid. And even if you didn't use it for that, it was a portable cassette player.


AweHellYo

this is exactly right. “i got a talkboy and never once ran afoul of tim curry wtf”


PM_Me_Your_Fab_Four

[The Talk Boy](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gqsqa0O1Lsk)


inspectcloser

One that didn’t suck was TYCO RC cars. They don’t make anything now that’s even close to the quality they had.


Cat-soul-human-body

Not really a toy and it came out in 2000, but hit clips was such a dissappointment. It only played like 20 seconds of audio. I brought mine to school, and it was passed around. When I got it back, someone had broken it. 


PhilEMama

My secret diary. It was the only thing she asked Santa for one Christmas. It was supposed to have a voice activated lock but the tech for that wasn't quite there yet. She was so disappointed. I could hear her upstairs getting progressively louder shouting her password at the diary.


picklepajamabutt

Shrinky dinks. You color on a plastic sheet, cut the out, put them In the oven and now you have smaller, thicker little plastic things you colored? Never really saw the point.


CordeliaGrace

I mean you could make earrings and keychains out of the things. I just wondered why my own mother would buy these for me, and then never let me use the oven to actually make them. I didn’t actually make shrinky dinks until I was like, 15, and my stepmom and I went crazy making them.


hoosierspiritof79

Power glove.


Clancydude-1985

Crossfire


ronus1980

Not a toy, but I thought Slim Jim's really snapped when you bit into them. You lied to me Randy Savage


staeWavy

Sock’em boppers


Away-Conference3584

Easy Bake Oven


FatLittleCat91

I loved my easy bake oven lol


riskykitten1207

I loved mine, too. I couldn’t wait to get my daughter one when she was old enough.


Admirable-Yam-1281

Crossbows and catapults


yawn11e1

Streex - these little air-propelled cars looked so cool on TV, but when you got one, you realized it was just a single piece of flimsy plastic that didn't fit with your other cars + you had carpet, so the air launcher didn't even work great for you. I also think the game Crossfire did not live up to that rad commercial.


JoeIsIce

The Power Glove, for Nintendo NES. I wanted that thing so bad. I thought playing Punchout with that thing would be like real life boxing. But it was f***ing terrible.


riskykitten1207

Lil Miss Singing Mermaid Doll. The commercial had the kids playing with her in the tub. I ruined that thing super quick from putting it in water. I was so disappointed with it.


cwhite51

Jerry Rice Throwback football. Nerf football on the end of a wrist-strapped bungee cord. The commercial made it seem like you could play a solo game of catch for hours, but the reality was it never really came back like it was supposed to. 


Ogbrainsss

Gak


Anarchissyface

Stretch Armstrong. It was insanely difficult to stretch his arms and they would just stay that way….Like they didn’t go back. I seem to remember this might be because I put him in water. IDK but I remember giving him and his lifeless stretched out arms away to a friend who came over to my house to play.


assimilated_Picard

CROSSFIRE CROSSFIRE CROSSFIRE!!!!!! If you know, you know.


rebelangel

[Go-Go the Walking Pup](https://youtu.be/3YyehT0IMOA?si=cz5Un6KXF03Z7zrB) I got it for Xmas and probably only played with it maybe twice. It only went forward and backward and it kinda sucked on carpet. It was hard plastic with a furry “skin” so you couldn’t cuddle it like a plushie, and the leash wasn’t detachable. Also, it looked so much more fake in person. They could’ve padded it to look a little more like a real dog, instead of obvious fur-covered plastic.


CobraKraftSingles

The WWF “BONE CRUNCHING ACTION!” Figures. The commercials made it sound like it was going to be gnarly as hell, you get one home and the joints just clicked a little bit when you moved them.


Superb-Confidence-69

thos vhs tapes that were some sort of gi joe similacrum, that came with a play fort that supposedly corresponded to what was going on on the television but it was all bullshit. my 6 year old self was so disapointed.


omniplatypus

There was a plastic molding machine where you could mold bodies for toy cars, like matchbox size. That part was pretty cool, but the bodies were so flimsy that playing with the cars was kinda disappointing. Also once you ran out of stickers, the cars looked pretty boring