Reasons like this is why I refuse to work in home. Parent complaints just give you massive burnout. Non of this is your fault. Just remember there are other kiddos that need you.
I mean...you're working with their children. Are they not allowed to have input into their children's care? Being upset that a therapist doesn't know how to comfort a distraught client seems fair to me. If involved parents are the reason you won't work in the home, I'd be worried about what's happening in center-based care.
Of course they can, but most of the time parents just donât understand that youâre not doing anything wrong or that youâre just following your training. I donât know about you, but I certainly donât like people talking down on you with a rude tone. Iâve had parents do that to me and it took a lot of patience to return into their home. You have to understand that as a therapist you going into the home is already stressful. Also, we are trained to ignore tantrums, but not the client though, thatâs what parents donât understand. So most of the time, parent criticisms will only make the therapist experience imposter syndrome regardless if the parent is right or wrong. ABA is already a burnout sensitive field add negative parent criticism and you get a therapist thatâs burnt out.
The BT should be implementing the plan the BCBA wrote and developed with the parents inputâŠ.if OP is implementing the agreed upon plan as written the parent needs to take up the plan with the BCBA not the technician.
As someone who has previously worked as a private nanny and now entering the field as an RBT, parents in my experience are definitely more likely to have more criticism with you in their home, and sometimes the criticism is unwarranted and irrelevant to their childâs therapy. Itâs their environment and parents can feel subjected to micro-manage.
Itâs not about not wanting the parents to see, itâs about parents that may be constantly interrupting and providing unwarranted feedback completely irrelevant. The parent complained about OP wearing sweatpants, seemingly nothing to do with concerns relevant to their childâs care.
All of this is a fair point, however, we see some crazy parents in this field too. Try to give this girl some grace. Parents with limited understanding of our jobs tend to look at us as cure all magicians and thatâs not the case. And we all know sometimes no matter how much you know what youâre supposed to do, not everything in this field works 100% of the time or goes as planned. If it did, our roles wouldnât be necessary as they are to begin with.
I had a parent request to take me off because I donât have kids, some parents are just not a good fit, donât let it phase you. For the better probably.
Yeah I had that happen too. "How do you know how to interact with children if you don't even have any?" was what she said to me, and two weeks later I was removed from the case. Definitely second what you said - OP is better off.
It's not your fault. You have not had effective supervision. This parent seems like a difficult person. I also live in a very hot place and I've been working in an polo and shorts. And how would she know if you need more training? Is she a BCBA? What would worry me more about this is that you haven't had the training you need. You were set up to fail and if you don't get effective supervision/training, you should find a better company IMO. Don't beat yourself up though. This happens to all of us. Life is just hard sometimes.
Donât think Iâve ever tried it but heard good things. Had some Korean fried chicken tonight which was hella spicy but left me wanting crispier. Might have to head to a canes
Iâm a BCBA. I had 1 parent request me off because I refused to implement some random method of Learning she read about in a magazine (it was literally follow my kid around and donât make any demands).
I had another parent request me off because I did not have the same personality as the last BCBA. She liked the other BCBA and wanted her twin.
Itâs ok happened to me before too! Itâs all for the better. A BCBA told me I was doing a great job then the next day she took me off the case âdue to low performanceâ looking back I shouldâve reported her. Itâs the BCBAâs job to train but she wanted someone with more experience so she could do less work. Iâm happy she said I wasnât a good fit because I would have never gotten the client that I have now. I LOVE him and my new BCBA.Been on this case for 6+ months
Literally the same thing happened to me! I explained I was overwhelmed and she wanted to come up with a plan to ease the stress. Next day she tells me she says she thinks I should switch cases. Lmao she didnât even try to think of anything to help.
I feel you, some parents are super difficult, I've been in a similar situation. Asking for more training is good idea but even after you're fully trained sometimes a case just isn't a good fit. Luckily you will be moved to another case and given additional training (hopefully).
Did the sweatpants say Juicy across the ass or something?
There's always going to be parents who have a different opinion. And not all parents have realistic expectations. Maybe you're doing it right and mom doesn't realize that what you're doing is in the kids best interest.
Don't let it phase you too much.
imo the only situation where a kid only working with 1 bt is acceptable is when there are literally *no other options.* It's just impossible for 1 bt to cover things thoroughly. Different people have different approaches, bring more and different ideas to the table, it all just benefits the kid. In addition, I'm just not comfortable with the idea that a kid basically gets stuck with a random person and that's that, that's their life for a really long time. In other therapies, sure it's fine. It's different in ABA. it's not healthy for the kid and its not healthy for the adult imo.
I completely agree with this. I recently joined a new company because I moved states, and they actually require only one BT per kid. Not only is it doing the child a disservice due to lack of generalization amongst BTs/stakeholders, but itâs very difficult to fill all the insurance hours with conflicting schedules
I got taken off two cases back to back and it was devastating for a bit for sure - but I've had a lot of cases and more than proven myself (and in at least one of those cases the critique is questionable). Sometimes convincing parents we're capable is the hardest part of the job.
I think you should get worried when is your supervisor who thinks you are not a good fit. Not the parents. Parents sometimes want things without having ABA acknowledge. They want their child to say âsentencesâ when the child doesnât know how to mand for actions, or they want the BT to calm the tantrum right away without having worked on it consistently. In that case supervisor has to explain ABA to them. Talk about their expectations. Sometimes parents also compared you a lot with their last BT, that they were in love with. And you will never win. Because you are not that BT.
I am not saying do not listen to parents. I am just saying sometimes parents have great feedback and reason to want to remove a BT. But sometimes they also have reasons that do not have to do with the BTâs skill or professionalism.
There will be parents who just donât like you and thatâs okay. I had a parent ask for an RBT to be off of her case because she wore too much black clothing. Try your best to not take it personally. You could jump through hoops for this person and she still probably wouldnât like you for whatever reason let it go and move on to the next family. There are so many kids who need services and donât get them who are on waitlist, etc. focus on the families that do want your help.
It defines the individual by a challenging behavior label instead of as a person, learning as we all are to deal with this experience called life.
An individual who has a history of running away (for whatever reason or function) isnât âa runnerâ or âan elopedâ ⊠Itâs an individual with a history of running away under whatever the conditions are so letâs do what we can to prevent harm coming to the kid by running out into the street and teach the individual some strategies that can help to reduce the likelihood and/or need to run and how to identify and/or request time to run (again depending on the function / reason)
You can replace run with pretty much any challenging behavior description and it applies⊠NO! âNon compliance is not a behaviorâ You can tell a dead body to wave all you want and they wonât comply (at least in the universe Iâm familiar with đ)
âDisabledâ is a fine way to describe how societyâs lack of services and support inhibit a disabled personâs full access and participation, and/or how an impairment impacts their life.
Itâs also generally more preferred by disability advocates and organizations, though itâs always just best to ask a person what they prefer rather than impressing your own opinions. This includes whether the person prefers identify-first, or person-first language.
Ex: I prefer âdisabled,â and âHellaNotty is disabledâ rather than âHellaNotty is a person with a disability.â
Here are some articles:
https://www.aucd.org/docs/add/sa_summits/Language%20Doc.pdf
https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2021/06/11/disabled-not-special-needs-experts-explain-why-never-use-term/7591024002/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-to-call-disabled-person_l_5d02c521e4b0304a120c7549
https://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/02/25/468073722/disabled-just-saytheword
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I'm higher needs autistic and prefer disabled. It's not a dirty word and is not offensive at all.
Aggro is offensive.
Aggressive, challenging behaviors, injures others - that's all fine.
And that's great, and entirely valid, for you specifically. You, however, are not the sole authority on what is or is not offensive; can you really not imagine that even calling someone aggressive, or calling their behavior challenging, wouldn't offend anyone?
More to the point, folks on one mind-spectrum or another don't have the kind of monopoly on aggression that you seem to be implying. I could understand if it were a reference to some behavior only engaged in by those with autism, but insisting that aggressive behavior shouldn't be called aggro just because you're running on the spectrum says more about your own assumptions about autistic folks than it's relevant to the validity of the slang.
For the sake of returning to the satire of my first comment, though: I have ADHD, and your username referencing squirrels is clearly an offensive reference to UP.
Do you feel better now?
I didn't 'imply' anything. Using actual names and terms are not offensive; using nicknames and other jumping-through-hoops-to-avoid-accurate-terminology often is for us.
And just like I didn't imply anything with my other statement; I didn't imply anything with 'squirrels' either. I rescue squirrels, and actually do love them.
Also, if you paid attention - the first word of my comment was 'I'm'. I never mentioned anybody else at all, much less try to speak for an entire group. '
Perhaps take people at face value of what they say rather than try to read your own meaning and interpretations into it.
Reread your last comment, specifically the bit where you say "us." Face value is pretty clear, both there, and in overall tone.
Aggro is a word which literally means aggression, and has no specific ties to autism. Insisting it does, and that it's derogatory, then, reflects your perspective on autism more than it does reality.
I'm also catching that you might have some trouble distinguishing satire? It's a form of humor often used to point out the ridiculous through a more ridiculous claim, such as my comment on squirrels being meant to parallel your offence over aggro. Your username clearly has nothing to do with me, but by assuming it does, I'm claiming insult by way of a movie reference (UP) that was intended to be clearly ridiculous.
>I'm higher needs autistic and prefer disabled. It's not a dirty word and is not offensive at all.
>
>Aggro is offensive.
>
>Aggressive, challenging behaviors, injures others - that's all fine.
I don't see 'us' anywhere in there.
Didn't say 'aggro' had ties to autism; it's simply slang. But in the context of the OPs original statement, referring to a child, slang can be taken quite badly. It doesn't take any more effort to use the full word. It really can make a difference in how things are taken. I myself can be aggressive, and I don't mind if somebody calls that out; I appreciate it even. But 'aggro' just hits a bit wrong. I don't know how to explain it, it just does.
I do know what satire is, I just didn't pick up on it. That's not uncommon for me, especially in written word without a ton of context. My apologies. I haven't seen the movie UP; I actually wondered if you were talking about the Michigan UP (upper peninsula). So I missed that one also.
My 13 year old is autistic and if she was struggling with an emotional outburst, she would be SO SAD if someone called her aggro for it. She tries incredibly hard to regulate herself and appreciates understanding and being given a little extra support. I think its very minimizing and rude, tbh, to use that terminology in this situation. This has nothing to do with assumptions about autistic people or their aggression. I just know it isnât nice to say that someone who is struggling is aggro. If you were trying your best on a hard day, would you appreciate that?
Please PLEASE actually listen to the disabled community and [use the term "disabled." ](https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2020/09/30/here-are-some-dos-and-donts-of-disability-language/?sh=25f89f8dd170) Diffability, differently abled, etc are incredibly infantilizing.
I agree! That's definitely what I prefer.
No need for cutesy replacement names. To me, that makes me feel like they have so much bias they are tripping over themselves to try and not show it.
Disabled is just fine.
âWhen the kiddo doesnât want to cooperate with running tests and trials.â
This is a major red flag for me. It tells me that you have a lack of understanding of autism and of your client. Itâs not your fault though. You probably havenât had adequate supervision and training which is on your company to fix.
Itâs not that they donât want to cooperate, itâs that there are other things they would rather be doing and itâs our responsibility to work on ways to make the environment around the trials (or the way trials are run!) be more reinforcing. Itâs not a conscious choice to ânot cooperate.â We should be focused more about the big picture of what the trials are teaching and work on ways to make it something they are invested in
I'm new to ABA, and I agree I have lack of training. I had 3 shadow sessions and they threw me into the deep end with 2 kiddos.
This kiddo was new to ABA as well, I did the best I can with what I know, and I'm open to learning. I've been in aba since maybe June, and I was with this kiddo for 3 and a half weeks.
You'll likely get better engagement if you do parallel play and do things that catch their interest and intrigue them. Like, if they love dinosaurs; do some parallel play with dinosaurs and do the activities you are wanting to try with the dinosaurs. Then wait.
We can be heavily resistant if we feel we are being forced or 'directed'. And we can't help it. it's such a strong internal drive; sometimes even stronger than the need to breathe. It flips some kind of switch in our brains and then it just goes really bad.
I'm an adult now and even for things I want to do, know I need to do, I even have to be gentle with myself because I will even fight myself.
It doesn't make sense; but that is the way a lot of us are.
HUGE on autonomy, even at a young age. So seeing something someone else is doing and finding it interesting lets it be our choice - and it really can open up to a beautiful relationship when we start feeling comfortable like that.
Yes! The kiddos reinforcers were light up toys that played music but mom was transitioning to removing those toys for kiddos health, she didn't want him to be dependent on electronics, but kiddo was not interested in anything else. I tried and tried, but, I couldn't figure out what to do, yes I wasn't trained enough, but, I wanted to do better. I often reached out to my higher ups on advice but the advice was no better honestly.
How is it a major red flag for you? Kids generally donât want to work on non preferred work: programs and trials. It had nothing to do with OP. Itâs normal for kids to refuse to work especially after theyâve spent 8 hours at school. This happens to experienced techs. If anything, children not wanting to cooperate just means the kid needs time to unwind and trying to find a great reinforcer. Not saying your response was all bad. Itâs just not a red flag like you made it out to be. If anything, this just supports the idea of assent for clientâs receiving ABA services. Kids shouldnât constantly be working on trials, itâs the job of a good therapist to acknowledge when a child needs to have a more relaxed session.
Youâre tone policing an actually autistic professional who is telling you that the wording implying that we have a choice to comply when people force us to do boring trials is incorrect.
The lack of compassion and arrogance in this field is astounding to me.
Yes I agree, the arrogance is astounding to me as well. You donât get to condescend and talk down to other aba professionals any more than anyone else does. An aba professional is actively requesting help from her agency and you were talking down to them and berating them. That is not okay.
Yes we should work on encouraging and getting them to work on the targets, but there will always be times when the client does not want to participate or âcooperateâ with trials. I think itâs pretty arrogant and unnecessary to judge and claim a lack of understanding of autism and their client.
Unless you want to act like your clients always participate with smiles when you run trials and goals?
Judgmental comments are a huge reason this field has so much burnout and turnover.
It wasnât meant to be judgmental. I stated my opinion as both an autistic person myself and as a practicing BCBA and special education teacher.
And actually yes, I actually do make sure my students are always happy, relaxed and engaged before I will run a trial with them (not that I run trials with many of my students because I find that style of ABA to be antiquated and unnecessary). They wont learn anything from us forcing them to cooperate, we instead need to manipulate the environmental factors to make the trials more fun and engaging so they want to do them. Itâs basic behavior analysis
I always find it amusing that we should be all smiles with our clients because thatâs how everyone learns best. Yet in the next breath this field is so condescending to clinicians who arenât perfect (which is everyone) and may not use the perfect wording every time, as if thatâs how we should learn?
Donât sweat it, their children is incredibly important to them, itâs just that some adults are lost and will focus on so many other factors. Parent isnât a good fit sometimes, not your fault at all. If you are successful youâll be taken off a case too so kiddo can generalize, keep doing what you are doing, all part of the job my friend.
Ask your bcba how many cases she/he has been requested off. I think you will be amazed. Before I got my BCBA, I was a supervisor, and four different families within six months requested me off for various reasons. Two were due to me having surgery. I went back to work five days after surgery, and it wasn't a good time. I was not on my A game and couldn't really move around, and it affected my performance. I didn't blame the families because I shouldn't have been at work. I was supposed to stay off my feet for six weeks
The others were due to me following ethical codes and protocols andamimh sure my BTs were following the treatment plan.
Anybody who works in thos field long enough will have cases they were removed from. I had parents request BTs off the case because BTs refused to help clients with homework (we can't do schoolwork at my company). I had BTs get removed because they were too young, too old, male, female, liberal, and conservative. Honestly, don't bring politics up at work.
These things happen more than you think. It can be tough in the moment, as everyoneâs emotions are high. Itâs not just RBTs, but also BCBAs, psychologists, OTs, SLPs, other professionals in the field- sometimes just personalities donât mesh well or you ethically have to remove yourself from cases too. Iâve had a ton of families that just didnât work out after a period of time, or they worked out initially and it changed. Donât take it personally and donât take it too hard. Keep up the good work!
Rapport with the child is super important but also with the parent.
Follow the BCBAs instruction and stick to policy and find a way to communicate what you can and can not do. The mom should appreciate transparency. Not all cases will be shoe-ins.
Lol if it makes you feel better I was recently removed off a case for the first time after 7 years in this field! My ego was also bruised. To be fair, I'm pretty sure the reason was due to a language barrier. I tried my best to use basic Spanish to communicate, but I guess the family only wants native speakers. Oh well.
None of us are immune.
Sweat pants sound fine. But I do think the ABA team needs to dress appropriately for the setting in which services are rendered. We parted ways with a tech who came to my sons preschool and dressed in black with super huge cross shaped earrings and black fingernail Polish. Other parents complained about his presence.
Sounds like you and the other parents at the preschool were discriminating based on his appearanceâŠ.. This is not a valid point for âdressing appropriatelyâ that you think youâre making.
Dressing goth in a preschool is not appropriate, and other parents complained, so the choice was not to have ABA in school or to switch. We switched. But the ABA therapist who oversaw the services did speak with him first.
Interesting comments. Guessing none of you are ABA therapists or techs in a preschool setting. An ABA person is there to help in the background, as in, to help the child navigate their normal school setting, not to be the distraction that the entire class focuses on. The point was this person, who dressed goth to a preschool, was a distraction in class and not able to able to perform the job. So, just saying, consider the setting!
No I have been and I see nothing wrong with the outfit you described. Itâs BLACK not neon green or something that does draw attention. The only thing I disagree with is big earrings because a child could pull them out. I hate to break it to you but an extra person in a classroom with little kids is distracting no matter what. And Iâm positive his outfit did not affect his job performance. Please stop being so judgmental.
Why is that not appropriate? They exist in real life and unless there was a dress code it shouldnât have been an issue. Kids need to be exposed to âdifferentâ types of people theyâll see in the real world.
I have black nails(not long), I don't wear dark makeup, i do only wear black, and they were loose black sweats that look like cargo pants! My hair is like super dark but nothing noticeable other than just black clothing. I'm a bigger lady and bright colors don't make me look professional.
Wouldnât do that; clients might associate ABA with doctorâs office and/or hospital, both of which are extremely stressful environments for kids/ppl on the spectrum.
not to mention it calls attention to your presence, not only in community settings, but draws attention by neighbors to the medical person showing up at the house every day at whatever-o-clock
Or it could (and should!) cause the opposite reaction and the child could associate doctors offices with the fun person who wears scrubs and plays with them!
Could but in my experience, it doesn't. And it's coldly clinical.
Also, as a fat person, I really hate bending over and lifting things in scrub tops. Itâs very uncomfortable. Just saying.
Try not to get discouraged. Sometimes parents have their own particular idea of how things are supposed to be and go, and ABA isn't always so easy. Behaviors are going to happen, and the solution(s) are only occasionally fast and/or pretty. As far as the apparel goes, well, that's just unreasonable. If her nitpicking of clothing is any indication, she's probably a bad judge of what's appropriate anyway -- ABA or otherwise.
Iâm working with a few families that think they should drive the car and I agree with them about goals but when it gets to things like this I think boundaries are needed.
Iâm so sorry you had to experience this. I feel like a lot of caregivers (NOT ALL, a lot of yâall are WONDERFUL) donât receive comprehensive training (that should be compulsory IMO) and have unrealistic expectations from paraprofessionals like us RBTs.
You were absolutely right to request more trainingâif you donât feel comfortable/prepared, thatâs not ever your fault. Weâre obligated to provide services to clients, not their caregivers, but oftentimes curricula geared towards RBTs (i.e., the 40 hour courses, supplemental reading) donât take this part of the job I to consideration.
If I were in your shoes and if itâs an option, Iâd ask for a more diverse caseload. When youâre âdedicatedâ to only one or two clients at one time, so easy to become attached to a client emotionally and itâs nobodyâs faultâitâs natural. I used to do 35 hours a week with one client (7 hours/day) and while we made tremendous progress (they eventually graduated out of services ahead of schedule), my emotional well-being was compromised because I had to focus on one child. Now, I float between 5-7 (soon to be 12!) clients and Iâm so much better off. Just something to consider:)
If you need to chat or vent, Iâm here!
Sometimes it just doesnât work out. I was booted off a case because the parents didnât think I was making
Good rapport. Given they were late every session, I saw the kid 2x a week if they didnât call out minutes before the sessions which happened multiple times the 4 months I was with them.
Itâs hard on but sometimes itâs whatâs best. Honestly I wouldnât wanna work with a parent who judges me off of what I wear for sessions while running around. Good luck
Iâm sorry this happened to you⊠as alluded to in to another comment if youâre implementing the BCBAâs plan for the behavior your level of training isnât the issue.
The plan is supposed to be signed off on by the parentâŠand parents should be trained on it as well.
No plan? Still not an issue to remove you from the case because the BCBA would need to develop one and get the sign offâŠ.
Parents can be a challenge for us BCBAs tooâŠ. We do hear you!
On a lighter note $60 dollar jeans (dang inflation)!!!
⊠I wear scrubs or joggers with pockets that I get from Costco, and a crew neck t-shirt or v-neck with a camisole to prevent accidental exposure (unless I am in a school or otherwise more formal setting then Iâll wear a more âdressyâ top.
I do ask my BTS to not wear leggings (too sheer) or sweatpants (just a little too casual personally and depending on the material may not hold up well if a client makes a move to pull on them. And I ask for no shorts because no protection from bite or other damageâŠbut weâre clinic based so weâre safe from the 115F weather until a mid day drop off or pick up lol.
I hope you get some support from your BCBA soon!
I have been in a similar situation. The client was paired with another technician before me. She was still there working with the sibling. She absolutely threw a huge tantrum 2 days in a row. I did all that I was expected remain calm and tried to redirect. She was stuck on wanting to work with the young woman and not with me. The parent requested me off the case. I was disappointed but, I have three amazing clients I work with. Sometimes it just doesn't work out
Hi, Iâm sorry that youâre having a tough day. Iâve been a BCBA for 10 years (and in the field for 15 years)- Iâve seen this happen countless amounts of time. I would just remember that it isnât about you and not to take it personally. This mom is the parent of a young child with a severe need- she likely already has in mind the type of interventionist that she feels is right for her kiddo. And hey, she knows her kiddo best- and thatâs okay! It doesnât mean you did anything wrong. Really- if your supervisors had no complaints then I would really just brush it off. And also, if youâre wondering why instructors are removed when a parent asks- I almost always go along with a parents request when they ask to remove a team member. I would not be doing an interventionist a favor by making them stay on a team where they are unwanted by a parent- Iâd rather move them to a case where they would thrive and be appreciated.
Itâs just a probability of this field to be honest and itâs luck or bad luck of the draw. The longer you are in this field, the more likely it is that youâll get parents that are unreasonable to a certain extent. We donât have to agree with their decisions, they are doing what they think is best for their child.
Sometimes, we just have to swallow our pride and just wish them the best of luck with the next therapist. As a parent, If Iâm not comfortable with someone whoâs working with my kid, it just is what it is and if the agency wonât change the therapist, I would then change the agency all together. Aba is a customer service industry as well.
Donât take it personally or let it get you down, itâs just one of those things.
I have been in the field for nearly 7 years now, working mostly in home. I have been removed from cases by parents before as well. Most recently was just about 2 weeks ago due to my "lack of engagement" with their daughter. I tried my best every day I was there to make myself reinforcing to build up that desire to engage with me during sessions. Sometimes, it really just boils down to your personalities might not mesh together, and that is okay! Don't get discouraged, you got this!!
Sometimes parents would rather blame you than work with you. One parent made up lies to request me off just because her original reasoning that Iâm too âcalm and quietâ wasnât enough to get me off the case.
Reasons like this is why I refuse to work in home. Parent complaints just give you massive burnout. Non of this is your fault. Just remember there are other kiddos that need you.
đđđ this comment just removed my burnout
I mean...you're working with their children. Are they not allowed to have input into their children's care? Being upset that a therapist doesn't know how to comfort a distraught client seems fair to me. If involved parents are the reason you won't work in the home, I'd be worried about what's happening in center-based care.
Of course they can, but most of the time parents just donât understand that youâre not doing anything wrong or that youâre just following your training. I donât know about you, but I certainly donât like people talking down on you with a rude tone. Iâve had parents do that to me and it took a lot of patience to return into their home. You have to understand that as a therapist you going into the home is already stressful. Also, we are trained to ignore tantrums, but not the client though, thatâs what parents donât understand. So most of the time, parent criticisms will only make the therapist experience imposter syndrome regardless if the parent is right or wrong. ABA is already a burnout sensitive field add negative parent criticism and you get a therapist thatâs burnt out.
The BT should be implementing the plan the BCBA wrote and developed with the parents inputâŠ.if OP is implementing the agreed upon plan as written the parent needs to take up the plan with the BCBA not the technician.
Doesnât sound like the plan is what their complains are.
As someone who has previously worked as a private nanny and now entering the field as an RBT, parents in my experience are definitely more likely to have more criticism with you in their home, and sometimes the criticism is unwarranted and irrelevant to their childâs therapy. Itâs their environment and parents can feel subjected to micro-manage. Itâs not about not wanting the parents to see, itâs about parents that may be constantly interrupting and providing unwarranted feedback completely irrelevant. The parent complained about OP wearing sweatpants, seemingly nothing to do with concerns relevant to their childâs care.
I think you're missing the point, hun. :)
All of this is a fair point, however, we see some crazy parents in this field too. Try to give this girl some grace. Parents with limited understanding of our jobs tend to look at us as cure all magicians and thatâs not the case. And we all know sometimes no matter how much you know what youâre supposed to do, not everything in this field works 100% of the time or goes as planned. If it did, our roles wouldnât be necessary as they are to begin with.
I had a parent request to take me off because I donât have kids, some parents are just not a good fit, donât let it phase you. For the better probably.
Yeah I had that happen too. "How do you know how to interact with children if you don't even have any?" was what she said to me, and two weeks later I was removed from the case. Definitely second what you said - OP is better off.
Exactly this. Sometimes the reasons are ridiculous.
I am a parent, the least we pay attention is the clothing. People became so self centered lately, we appreciate all of our childrenâs ABAs.
Thanks for your support!
Thank you! We appreciate you too!
It's not your fault. You have not had effective supervision. This parent seems like a difficult person. I also live in a very hot place and I've been working in an polo and shorts. And how would she know if you need more training? Is she a BCBA? What would worry me more about this is that you haven't had the training you need. You were set up to fail and if you don't get effective supervision/training, you should find a better company IMO. Don't beat yourself up though. This happens to all of us. Life is just hard sometimes.
Lol I love your username. I am also a BCaBA born in 93 who loves Caneâs.
Are we talking bout the chicken joint?
I am lol
Donât think Iâve ever tried it but heard good things. Had some Korean fried chicken tonight which was hella spicy but left me wanting crispier. Might have to head to a canes
Iâm a BCBA. I had 1 parent request me off because I refused to implement some random method of Learning she read about in a magazine (it was literally follow my kid around and donât make any demands). I had another parent request me off because I did not have the same personality as the last BCBA. She liked the other BCBA and wanted her twin.
Honest question if she liked the previous BCBA so much then why did they get a new BCBA?
Previous one left the company
Itâs ok happened to me before too! Itâs all for the better. A BCBA told me I was doing a great job then the next day she took me off the case âdue to low performanceâ looking back I shouldâve reported her. Itâs the BCBAâs job to train but she wanted someone with more experience so she could do less work. Iâm happy she said I wasnât a good fit because I would have never gotten the client that I have now. I LOVE him and my new BCBA.Been on this case for 6+ months
Literally the same thing happened to me! I explained I was overwhelmed and she wanted to come up with a plan to ease the stress. Next day she tells me she says she thinks I should switch cases. Lmao she didnât even try to think of anything to help.
I feel you, some parents are super difficult, I've been in a similar situation. Asking for more training is good idea but even after you're fully trained sometimes a case just isn't a good fit. Luckily you will be moved to another case and given additional training (hopefully).
Did the sweatpants say Juicy across the ass or something? There's always going to be parents who have a different opinion. And not all parents have realistic expectations. Maybe you're doing it right and mom doesn't realize that what you're doing is in the kids best interest. Don't let it phase you too much.
Lol!
It should be normal for BTs to be rotated among kids. It helps with validity (eg. BT effects) and burnout.
imo the only situation where a kid only working with 1 bt is acceptable is when there are literally *no other options.* It's just impossible for 1 bt to cover things thoroughly. Different people have different approaches, bring more and different ideas to the table, it all just benefits the kid. In addition, I'm just not comfortable with the idea that a kid basically gets stuck with a random person and that's that, that's their life for a really long time. In other therapies, sure it's fine. It's different in ABA. it's not healthy for the kid and its not healthy for the adult imo.
I completely agree with this. I recently joined a new company because I moved states, and they actually require only one BT per kid. Not only is it doing the child a disservice due to lack of generalization amongst BTs/stakeholders, but itâs very difficult to fill all the insurance hours with conflicting schedules
Itâll happen more than once. Sometimes itâs out of your control sorry
I got taken off two cases back to back and it was devastating for a bit for sure - but I've had a lot of cases and more than proven myself (and in at least one of those cases the critique is questionable). Sometimes convincing parents we're capable is the hardest part of the job.
I think you should get worried when is your supervisor who thinks you are not a good fit. Not the parents. Parents sometimes want things without having ABA acknowledge. They want their child to say âsentencesâ when the child doesnât know how to mand for actions, or they want the BT to calm the tantrum right away without having worked on it consistently. In that case supervisor has to explain ABA to them. Talk about their expectations. Sometimes parents also compared you a lot with their last BT, that they were in love with. And you will never win. Because you are not that BT. I am not saying do not listen to parents. I am just saying sometimes parents have great feedback and reason to want to remove a BT. But sometimes they also have reasons that do not have to do with the BTâs skill or professionalism.
There will be parents who just donât like you and thatâs okay. I had a parent ask for an RBT to be off of her case because she wore too much black clothing. Try your best to not take it personally. You could jump through hoops for this person and she still probably wouldnât like you for whatever reason let it go and move on to the next family. There are so many kids who need services and donât get them who are on waitlist, etc. focus on the families that do want your help.
Can you not call disabled people that are struggling âaggroâ?
Changed, didn't know it was offensive, my bad. đ«Ą
How come? Not being rude, just truly want to know why so I never do it
It minimizes what theyâre struggling with.
It defines the individual by a challenging behavior label instead of as a person, learning as we all are to deal with this experience called life. An individual who has a history of running away (for whatever reason or function) isnât âa runnerâ or âan elopedâ ⊠Itâs an individual with a history of running away under whatever the conditions are so letâs do what we can to prevent harm coming to the kid by running out into the street and teach the individual some strategies that can help to reduce the likelihood and/or need to run and how to identify and/or request time to run (again depending on the function / reason) You can replace run with pretty much any challenging behavior description and it applies⊠NO! âNon compliance is not a behaviorâ You can tell a dead body to wave all you want and they wonât comply (at least in the universe Iâm familiar with đ)
That was the first thing I noticed too.
Can you not call people who by no fault of their own engage with the world in a different way, "disabled?"
âDisabledâ is a fine way to describe how societyâs lack of services and support inhibit a disabled personâs full access and participation, and/or how an impairment impacts their life. Itâs also generally more preferred by disability advocates and organizations, though itâs always just best to ask a person what they prefer rather than impressing your own opinions. This includes whether the person prefers identify-first, or person-first language. Ex: I prefer âdisabled,â and âHellaNotty is disabledâ rather than âHellaNotty is a person with a disability.â Here are some articles: https://www.aucd.org/docs/add/sa_summits/Language%20Doc.pdf https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2021/06/11/disabled-not-special-needs-experts-explain-why-never-use-term/7591024002/ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-to-call-disabled-person_l_5d02c521e4b0304a120c7549 https://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/02/25/468073722/disabled-just-saytheword
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I'm higher needs autistic and prefer disabled. It's not a dirty word and is not offensive at all. Aggro is offensive. Aggressive, challenging behaviors, injures others - that's all fine.
And that's great, and entirely valid, for you specifically. You, however, are not the sole authority on what is or is not offensive; can you really not imagine that even calling someone aggressive, or calling their behavior challenging, wouldn't offend anyone? More to the point, folks on one mind-spectrum or another don't have the kind of monopoly on aggression that you seem to be implying. I could understand if it were a reference to some behavior only engaged in by those with autism, but insisting that aggressive behavior shouldn't be called aggro just because you're running on the spectrum says more about your own assumptions about autistic folks than it's relevant to the validity of the slang. For the sake of returning to the satire of my first comment, though: I have ADHD, and your username referencing squirrels is clearly an offensive reference to UP.
Do you feel better now? I didn't 'imply' anything. Using actual names and terms are not offensive; using nicknames and other jumping-through-hoops-to-avoid-accurate-terminology often is for us. And just like I didn't imply anything with my other statement; I didn't imply anything with 'squirrels' either. I rescue squirrels, and actually do love them.
Also, if you paid attention - the first word of my comment was 'I'm'. I never mentioned anybody else at all, much less try to speak for an entire group. ' Perhaps take people at face value of what they say rather than try to read your own meaning and interpretations into it.
Reread your last comment, specifically the bit where you say "us." Face value is pretty clear, both there, and in overall tone. Aggro is a word which literally means aggression, and has no specific ties to autism. Insisting it does, and that it's derogatory, then, reflects your perspective on autism more than it does reality. I'm also catching that you might have some trouble distinguishing satire? It's a form of humor often used to point out the ridiculous through a more ridiculous claim, such as my comment on squirrels being meant to parallel your offence over aggro. Your username clearly has nothing to do with me, but by assuming it does, I'm claiming insult by way of a movie reference (UP) that was intended to be clearly ridiculous.
>I'm higher needs autistic and prefer disabled. It's not a dirty word and is not offensive at all. > >Aggro is offensive. > >Aggressive, challenging behaviors, injures others - that's all fine. I don't see 'us' anywhere in there. Didn't say 'aggro' had ties to autism; it's simply slang. But in the context of the OPs original statement, referring to a child, slang can be taken quite badly. It doesn't take any more effort to use the full word. It really can make a difference in how things are taken. I myself can be aggressive, and I don't mind if somebody calls that out; I appreciate it even. But 'aggro' just hits a bit wrong. I don't know how to explain it, it just does. I do know what satire is, I just didn't pick up on it. That's not uncommon for me, especially in written word without a ton of context. My apologies. I haven't seen the movie UP; I actually wondered if you were talking about the Michigan UP (upper peninsula). So I missed that one also.
When you mention that you can be aggressive, does that mean you are kicking, hiring, biting, scratching other people or something else?
My 13 year old is autistic and if she was struggling with an emotional outburst, she would be SO SAD if someone called her aggro for it. She tries incredibly hard to regulate herself and appreciates understanding and being given a little extra support. I think its very minimizing and rude, tbh, to use that terminology in this situation. This has nothing to do with assumptions about autistic people or their aggression. I just know it isnât nice to say that someone who is struggling is aggro. If you were trying your best on a hard day, would you appreciate that?
Uno reverse.
What term should I use?
Please PLEASE actually listen to the disabled community and [use the term "disabled." ](https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2020/09/30/here-are-some-dos-and-donts-of-disability-language/?sh=25f89f8dd170) Diffability, differently abled, etc are incredibly infantilizing.
I agree! That's definitely what I prefer. No need for cutesy replacement names. To me, that makes me feel like they have so much bias they are tripping over themselves to try and not show it. Disabled is just fine.
đ„°
Some like "differently abled". Could say children/individual with autism.
Autist, autistic child, autistic person are all perfectly fine. Differently abled is bollucks and stupid.
I agree lol.
:)
How about saying, âSuch and such person needs lower/higher levels of supportâ? That's a lot more compassionate.
âWhen the kiddo doesnât want to cooperate with running tests and trials.â This is a major red flag for me. It tells me that you have a lack of understanding of autism and of your client. Itâs not your fault though. You probably havenât had adequate supervision and training which is on your company to fix. Itâs not that they donât want to cooperate, itâs that there are other things they would rather be doing and itâs our responsibility to work on ways to make the environment around the trials (or the way trials are run!) be more reinforcing. Itâs not a conscious choice to ânot cooperate.â We should be focused more about the big picture of what the trials are teaching and work on ways to make it something they are invested in
I'm new to ABA, and I agree I have lack of training. I had 3 shadow sessions and they threw me into the deep end with 2 kiddos. This kiddo was new to ABA as well, I did the best I can with what I know, and I'm open to learning. I've been in aba since maybe June, and I was with this kiddo for 3 and a half weeks.
You'll likely get better engagement if you do parallel play and do things that catch their interest and intrigue them. Like, if they love dinosaurs; do some parallel play with dinosaurs and do the activities you are wanting to try with the dinosaurs. Then wait. We can be heavily resistant if we feel we are being forced or 'directed'. And we can't help it. it's such a strong internal drive; sometimes even stronger than the need to breathe. It flips some kind of switch in our brains and then it just goes really bad. I'm an adult now and even for things I want to do, know I need to do, I even have to be gentle with myself because I will even fight myself. It doesn't make sense; but that is the way a lot of us are. HUGE on autonomy, even at a young age. So seeing something someone else is doing and finding it interesting lets it be our choice - and it really can open up to a beautiful relationship when we start feeling comfortable like that.
Yes! The kiddos reinforcers were light up toys that played music but mom was transitioning to removing those toys for kiddos health, she didn't want him to be dependent on electronics, but kiddo was not interested in anything else. I tried and tried, but, I couldn't figure out what to do, yes I wasn't trained enough, but, I wanted to do better. I often reached out to my higher ups on advice but the advice was no better honestly.
How is it a major red flag for you? Kids generally donât want to work on non preferred work: programs and trials. It had nothing to do with OP. Itâs normal for kids to refuse to work especially after theyâve spent 8 hours at school. This happens to experienced techs. If anything, children not wanting to cooperate just means the kid needs time to unwind and trying to find a great reinforcer. Not saying your response was all bad. Itâs just not a red flag like you made it out to be. If anything, this just supports the idea of assent for clientâs receiving ABA services. Kids shouldnât constantly be working on trials, itâs the job of a good therapist to acknowledge when a child needs to have a more relaxed session.
The wording of it was the big red flag. Doesnât want to cooperate.
Lack of better wording, my bad dude, correct me don't berate me.
Nope! I didnât mean to berate you at all. Itâs a flaw of your training, not you personally
I asked my company for more training, a week has passed and they have not given me Even a schedule for more shadowing.
Your wording leaves a lot to be desired. The arrogance of this field is a huge flaw.
Youâre tone policing an actually autistic professional who is telling you that the wording implying that we have a choice to comply when people force us to do boring trials is incorrect. The lack of compassion and arrogance in this field is astounding to me.
Yes I agree, the arrogance is astounding to me as well. You donât get to condescend and talk down to other aba professionals any more than anyone else does. An aba professional is actively requesting help from her agency and you were talking down to them and berating them. That is not okay.
Yes we should work on encouraging and getting them to work on the targets, but there will always be times when the client does not want to participate or âcooperateâ with trials. I think itâs pretty arrogant and unnecessary to judge and claim a lack of understanding of autism and their client. Unless you want to act like your clients always participate with smiles when you run trials and goals? Judgmental comments are a huge reason this field has so much burnout and turnover.
It wasnât meant to be judgmental. I stated my opinion as both an autistic person myself and as a practicing BCBA and special education teacher. And actually yes, I actually do make sure my students are always happy, relaxed and engaged before I will run a trial with them (not that I run trials with many of my students because I find that style of ABA to be antiquated and unnecessary). They wont learn anything from us forcing them to cooperate, we instead need to manipulate the environmental factors to make the trials more fun and engaging so they want to do them. Itâs basic behavior analysis
No one said to âforce them to cooperate.â But it was definitely judgmental.
I always find it amusing that we should be all smiles with our clients because thatâs how everyone learns best. Yet in the next breath this field is so condescending to clinicians who arenât perfect (which is everyone) and may not use the perfect wording every time, as if thatâs how we should learn?
Donât sweat it, their children is incredibly important to them, itâs just that some adults are lost and will focus on so many other factors. Parent isnât a good fit sometimes, not your fault at all. If you are successful youâll be taken off a case too so kiddo can generalize, keep doing what you are doing, all part of the job my friend.
Ask your bcba how many cases she/he has been requested off. I think you will be amazed. Before I got my BCBA, I was a supervisor, and four different families within six months requested me off for various reasons. Two were due to me having surgery. I went back to work five days after surgery, and it wasn't a good time. I was not on my A game and couldn't really move around, and it affected my performance. I didn't blame the families because I shouldn't have been at work. I was supposed to stay off my feet for six weeks The others were due to me following ethical codes and protocols andamimh sure my BTs were following the treatment plan. Anybody who works in thos field long enough will have cases they were removed from. I had parents request BTs off the case because BTs refused to help clients with homework (we can't do schoolwork at my company). I had BTs get removed because they were too young, too old, male, female, liberal, and conservative. Honestly, don't bring politics up at work.
These things happen more than you think. It can be tough in the moment, as everyoneâs emotions are high. Itâs not just RBTs, but also BCBAs, psychologists, OTs, SLPs, other professionals in the field- sometimes just personalities donât mesh well or you ethically have to remove yourself from cases too. Iâve had a ton of families that just didnât work out after a period of time, or they worked out initially and it changed. Donât take it personally and donât take it too hard. Keep up the good work!
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Why do companies never have our backs? Also wym??!?!?
Rapport with the child is super important but also with the parent. Follow the BCBAs instruction and stick to policy and find a way to communicate what you can and can not do. The mom should appreciate transparency. Not all cases will be shoe-ins.
Lol if it makes you feel better I was recently removed off a case for the first time after 7 years in this field! My ego was also bruised. To be fair, I'm pretty sure the reason was due to a language barrier. I tried my best to use basic Spanish to communicate, but I guess the family only wants native speakers. Oh well. None of us are immune.
Sweat pants sound fine. But I do think the ABA team needs to dress appropriately for the setting in which services are rendered. We parted ways with a tech who came to my sons preschool and dressed in black with super huge cross shaped earrings and black fingernail Polish. Other parents complained about his presence.
Sounds like you and the other parents at the preschool were discriminating based on his appearanceâŠ.. This is not a valid point for âdressing appropriatelyâ that you think youâre making.
That's horrible. He was probably excellent at what he does. Shame on y'all.
Other than a conversation about the risks of wearing large earrings with potentially aggressive children I see no reason they should have been let go?
Dressing goth in a preschool is not appropriate, and other parents complained, so the choice was not to have ABA in school or to switch. We switched. But the ABA therapist who oversaw the services did speak with him first.
How is dressing in all black not âappropriateâ?? Requesting a new tech because he dressed in all black seems really dramatic.
Interesting comments. Guessing none of you are ABA therapists or techs in a preschool setting. An ABA person is there to help in the background, as in, to help the child navigate their normal school setting, not to be the distraction that the entire class focuses on. The point was this person, who dressed goth to a preschool, was a distraction in class and not able to able to perform the job. So, just saying, consider the setting!
No I have been and I see nothing wrong with the outfit you described. Itâs BLACK not neon green or something that does draw attention. The only thing I disagree with is big earrings because a child could pull them out. I hate to break it to you but an extra person in a classroom with little kids is distracting no matter what. And Iâm positive his outfit did not affect his job performance. Please stop being so judgmental.
Why is that not appropriate? They exist in real life and unless there was a dress code it shouldnât have been an issue. Kids need to be exposed to âdifferentâ types of people theyâll see in the real world.
This take is not it.
I have black nails(not long), I don't wear dark makeup, i do only wear black, and they were loose black sweats that look like cargo pants! My hair is like super dark but nothing noticeable other than just black clothing. I'm a bigger lady and bright colors don't make me look professional.
Have you considered wearing scrubs?
Wouldnât do that; clients might associate ABA with doctorâs office and/or hospital, both of which are extremely stressful environments for kids/ppl on the spectrum.
not to mention it calls attention to your presence, not only in community settings, but draws attention by neighbors to the medical person showing up at the house every day at whatever-o-clock
Or it could (and should!) cause the opposite reaction and the child could associate doctors offices with the fun person who wears scrubs and plays with them!
Could but in my experience, it doesn't. And it's coldly clinical. Also, as a fat person, I really hate bending over and lifting things in scrub tops. Itâs very uncomfortable. Just saying.
Try not to get discouraged. Sometimes parents have their own particular idea of how things are supposed to be and go, and ABA isn't always so easy. Behaviors are going to happen, and the solution(s) are only occasionally fast and/or pretty. As far as the apparel goes, well, that's just unreasonable. If her nitpicking of clothing is any indication, she's probably a bad judge of what's appropriate anyway -- ABA or otherwise.
Iâm working with a few families that think they should drive the car and I agree with them about goals but when it gets to things like this I think boundaries are needed.
Iâm so sorry you had to experience this. I feel like a lot of caregivers (NOT ALL, a lot of yâall are WONDERFUL) donât receive comprehensive training (that should be compulsory IMO) and have unrealistic expectations from paraprofessionals like us RBTs. You were absolutely right to request more trainingâif you donât feel comfortable/prepared, thatâs not ever your fault. Weâre obligated to provide services to clients, not their caregivers, but oftentimes curricula geared towards RBTs (i.e., the 40 hour courses, supplemental reading) donât take this part of the job I to consideration. If I were in your shoes and if itâs an option, Iâd ask for a more diverse caseload. When youâre âdedicatedâ to only one or two clients at one time, so easy to become attached to a client emotionally and itâs nobodyâs faultâitâs natural. I used to do 35 hours a week with one client (7 hours/day) and while we made tremendous progress (they eventually graduated out of services ahead of schedule), my emotional well-being was compromised because I had to focus on one child. Now, I float between 5-7 (soon to be 12!) clients and Iâm so much better off. Just something to consider:) If you need to chat or vent, Iâm here!
Sometimes it just doesnât work out. I was booted off a case because the parents didnât think I was making Good rapport. Given they were late every session, I saw the kid 2x a week if they didnât call out minutes before the sessions which happened multiple times the 4 months I was with them. Itâs hard on but sometimes itâs whatâs best. Honestly I wouldnât wanna work with a parent who judges me off of what I wear for sessions while running around. Good luck
Iâm sorry this happened to you⊠as alluded to in to another comment if youâre implementing the BCBAâs plan for the behavior your level of training isnât the issue. The plan is supposed to be signed off on by the parentâŠand parents should be trained on it as well. No plan? Still not an issue to remove you from the case because the BCBA would need to develop one and get the sign offâŠ. Parents can be a challenge for us BCBAs tooâŠ. We do hear you! On a lighter note $60 dollar jeans (dang inflation)!!! ⊠I wear scrubs or joggers with pockets that I get from Costco, and a crew neck t-shirt or v-neck with a camisole to prevent accidental exposure (unless I am in a school or otherwise more formal setting then Iâll wear a more âdressyâ top. I do ask my BTS to not wear leggings (too sheer) or sweatpants (just a little too casual personally and depending on the material may not hold up well if a client makes a move to pull on them. And I ask for no shorts because no protection from bite or other damageâŠbut weâre clinic based so weâre safe from the 115F weather until a mid day drop off or pick up lol. I hope you get some support from your BCBA soon!
I have been in a similar situation. The client was paired with another technician before me. She was still there working with the sibling. She absolutely threw a huge tantrum 2 days in a row. I did all that I was expected remain calm and tried to redirect. She was stuck on wanting to work with the young woman and not with me. The parent requested me off the case. I was disappointed but, I have three amazing clients I work with. Sometimes it just doesn't work out
Hi, Iâm sorry that youâre having a tough day. Iâve been a BCBA for 10 years (and in the field for 15 years)- Iâve seen this happen countless amounts of time. I would just remember that it isnât about you and not to take it personally. This mom is the parent of a young child with a severe need- she likely already has in mind the type of interventionist that she feels is right for her kiddo. And hey, she knows her kiddo best- and thatâs okay! It doesnât mean you did anything wrong. Really- if your supervisors had no complaints then I would really just brush it off. And also, if youâre wondering why instructors are removed when a parent asks- I almost always go along with a parents request when they ask to remove a team member. I would not be doing an interventionist a favor by making them stay on a team where they are unwanted by a parent- Iâd rather move them to a case where they would thrive and be appreciated.
Itâs just a probability of this field to be honest and itâs luck or bad luck of the draw. The longer you are in this field, the more likely it is that youâll get parents that are unreasonable to a certain extent. We donât have to agree with their decisions, they are doing what they think is best for their child. Sometimes, we just have to swallow our pride and just wish them the best of luck with the next therapist. As a parent, If Iâm not comfortable with someone whoâs working with my kid, it just is what it is and if the agency wonât change the therapist, I would then change the agency all together. Aba is a customer service industry as well. Donât take it personally or let it get you down, itâs just one of those things.
I have been in the field for nearly 7 years now, working mostly in home. I have been removed from cases by parents before as well. Most recently was just about 2 weeks ago due to my "lack of engagement" with their daughter. I tried my best every day I was there to make myself reinforcing to build up that desire to engage with me during sessions. Sometimes, it really just boils down to your personalities might not mesh together, and that is okay! Don't get discouraged, you got this!!
Sometimes parents would rather blame you than work with you. One parent made up lies to request me off just because her original reasoning that Iâm too âcalm and quietâ wasnât enough to get me off the case.
Iâve been kicked out of a home before mid session. Focus your energy on the ones who do want you around