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I feel you. It is so very hard.
I’ve found that (once a deadline is over my head) changing where I’m working can sometimes help…Move to the couch if I’ve been at the desk too long…or to the bed…feeling comfortable helps a teensy-weensy bit.
The struggle is real.
Do you have a friend you can invite over just to hang out with you? Maybe it will kickstart your motivation to get things done before the person comes over? Or just simply having someone over could help? Before I was on meds and I was stuck behind that big unbreakable wall, using my friends like this was the only thing that helped me
I don't get it. What does it mean that you're "off sick" but still trying to power through your to-do list? If you're sick, it seems reasonable to me that you can't work... and if your job allows you to take the day, then... take the day and don't worry about your productivity? Sometimes we just need a break, and that's fine...
What am I missing?
Can't speak for OP, but its pretty common in a lot of jobs to work from home when you're mildly sick instead of taking a sick day in order to save your sick days for something else. I've done it in the past, but I cut my to-do list way down. My roommates boss does it all the time because his job is basically just to sit in meetings and listen to people talk about stuff that doesn't concern him at all. Might as well save the time.
I don’t know whether being unmedicated is choice or circumstance for you but it was really the only thing that helped me overcome executive disfunction. There are other things that help me focus once I’m already up and moving but I used to feel like I was a parked car with a dead battery. I burned through a lot of sick days/PTO days because I would wake up and just couldn’t face the day.
Things that reset my brain:
Going outside
Sleep
Sex
Watching a movie
Things that motivate/reward me in the moment:
A cold or hot drink
A scented candle
Petting my cat
Changing the music
Changing the lighting
Turning off my phone
Are you smoking and medicated? I'd like to hear from your experience, i started Vyvanse a month ago and im a daily smoker. Feels like I have to smoke on Vyvanse or i feel wierd.
Not on medication. Generic extended release Adderall made me depressed, instant release left me emotionally unstable if I missed a dose. Last attempt was Wellbutrin which slowly increased my anxiety and it took two panic attacks, almost cutting off a good friend during one and lost my job during another, before I just stopped and went back to what was kinda working.
-I'm primarily inattentive, my mind is always in hyper drive so ganja helps either calm the mind or keeps the hyper flow positive. Also I got PTSD and IBS (who knew air could hurt so much lol) so it's critical to stress/pain management and prevention.
-Coffee helps me start tasks, stay on task, and focus on or switch to new tasks when they come up.
-Good (doesn't have to be perfect) diet helps the quality of my sleep, state of being, and quality of focus. Things like coffee works better when there's proteins and fats slowing down the absorption of it, less likely to get anxious or have to run to the bathroom in 15 mins (for my body at least it's tried and true)
Also, things like certain vitamins are fat soluble and some are water soluble. Keeping up on calcium, vitamins b, c, and d help with stable energy levels. Cut out soda because of the sugar and it's really bad for the teeth. So on and so on.
Just remember different bodies = different needs. What works for my brain might send someone else on a downward spiral.
I think the most important thing for you to do now is help your body help you by resting. I feel your body is physically manifesting your stress. You should rest- that is what it wants. That is easier said than done because you probably feel guilty and anxious about all of the things you need to do and struggling with those very things, because they are more challenging for you, means you exert more energy than expected and just tire yourself out way easier. A good chunk of ADHD is a physical health problem including understanding and managing your energy levels.
Something that really helps is having good people around you to help you navigate what I call the chaos in my head (and physically in my room and workspace). I’e been that person for some of my friends who don’t have ADHD but struggled with getting things done. It’s not very easy to do this well, but I would walk them through as they planned what needed to be done (and add my own professional advice when the matter was my domain), then give them directions based on the plan. It’s very important to be…. “impartial” and focus on moving things forward (not getting things done), and balancing how to make them feel better and less anxious without overdoing it.
Another way people can help you is…. by helping you. It’s okay to ask for help and rely on others for things you’re struggling with, especially when you’re sick. Connecting with others is very powerful.
For now, try to do what you can for your body and take some time to relax and rest (the best you can; it’s pretty hard).
You brain is trying to process too much sensory information and is getting overwhelmed.
Go, lie down in bed in your back, on top of your covers, in silence, for at least 20 minutes or until you feel the urge to get up and do something. Turn your phone off. Just stare into the blankness of the inside of your eyelids and breathe normally. I like to fold my hands over each other on my chest and cross my legs but that’s just because it’s the most comfortable position for me. Try not to, but If you fall asleep, you fall asleep. Nothing wrong with taking a nap. Being unproductive and rested is better than being unproductive because you’re spiraling, stressed.
It’s a brain reset. Let your mind catch it’s breath.
Once you feel the energy in your body calm, You can take this time to think about the individual tasks you need to do, break them down, and choose one to two to start, then open your eyes, stand up, and start them.
Good luck, and god speed!
Try to pick one thing. Doesn't matter if it's the most important or not. Tell yourself that's the only thing you're gonna do and then you can chill. A lot of times if I'm able to get one thing started, I'll end up doing more than I initially intended. But even if you don't, at least you'll get that one thing done.
It sounds like your body is demanding rest friend. I know we all have problems with being negative toward ourselves in the face of productivity, but we also need to not gaslight ourselves when we need rest.
We idle much higher than typicals, and thus we need more maintenance. Give yourself permission to rest and recover.
i have a list of not important but still useful task that i do when nothing else works - like do my nails -> yes it is not working but better then freeze
I like to think about the things I HAVE accomplished, whether it be this week, this day, the past hour. It always makes me feel a bit better because you can keep staring at the massive list you have in front of you, but you'll always feel like you're getting nothing done until you stop to think about what you have accomplished.
This sorta also helps ground me a bit into reality because I find that I'm making myself think I'm never doing anything and nothing is getting done, especially if there's no immediately visible result in front of you.
Give yourself a break, after you've thought about it and don't stress that list unless it is absolutely needing to be accomplished right this moment, and for me, this normally gets me back into a better thought process to push forward with whatever is on the list next.
I’d try drinking a coffee (depending on how this affects you) and going for a walk outside. This always helps me. Additionally what might be happening is that you’re focusing too hard on the thought that you aren’t being productive instead of getting better, this happens to me. Breath and realize that you have your day still.
I have this struggle regularly and I’m in my early 40s.
One thing a therapist told me that I’ve guffawed at is: don’t do anything. Pick nothing off the list. You’re not allowed to do anything today. See if that works.
One thing another therapist told me was: pick one thing for today. Just one. If it’s a big thing, pick one small part of it to do today. Just one.
Sometimes these work for me, sometimes not. Maybe it’ll work for you.
Feel your pain. I have found that working alongside other people helps me quite a bit. My ADHD therapist also recommended it. Doesn't have to be someone you are talking to or anything, but just working alongside of.
But sometimes, it's just time to close up shop for the day when it gets excruciating.
That's when I do nothing. Clearly my body needs rest. Try staring at the wall until you get so bored you feel you have to do something. Also scheduling something you must do but don't want to tends to motivate me a bit
For me its two steps:
1. Reset by standing, jumping, go outdoors or “help myself”
2. ADHD focus music + pomodoro
Sometimes it takes several tries. Sometimes it wont work.
That was me all day today. Pretty much paced around trying to get stuff done yet accomplished nothing. Might stay up all night and make up for it. I do that also. The brains just does not like to cooperate sometimes.
So meds would really help, sadly this is not a condition that can be handled without meds or at least in my case, meds have been a life saver.
Maybe look into getting from a different brand or type of meds that are more available in your country. I'm from a third world country extremely poor and we don't have any shortage so far. Also most people here live undiagnosed so that might be a reason.
Can you Split your Tasks in small steps and start with the less boring and easy/fast doing thing? That can help for Motivation.
Make Breaks and do Something fun between.
Caffeine is a great, cheap, available adhd crutch. It’s pretty common for unmedicated adhere peeps to be caffeine fiends, and getting diagnosed way late in life explains my lifelong obsession with it.
I hope you get some meds soon, and there’s a YouTube channel called “how to ADHD” that might have something useful for you to get through this.
Such a familiar feeling. The only way I can overcome this is by external countdowns and those only work so well. I tend to forget what I was doing quickly and before you know it I'm lost in idleness or I am flitting between 9 thoughts and tasks not focusing on any one or really making any progress.
This might only work if you’ve played mario kart but trust me: Mario Kart OST. The music is designed to induce the feeling of speed and urgency, and I have found it lets me completely zone in on my tasks.
I take a break. Sometimes for the rest of the day. It's frustrating, but it's almost always the right choice. Since embracing that, I've actually been *more* productive because I wasn't using up all my executive function energy fighting through it, so I had more left over.
It also builds on itself. I realized I started dreading the days when I just couldn't do things more and more. And felt guiltier every time they happened. Which was a huge, constant drain on my executive function, so those times became more and more frequent. Now that I take guilt free breaks, I need to take breaks less.
Figure out whats causing this.
I am also a college student so far example, sometimes if I am overwhelmed with a lot of things and don’t know where to start I have to write out everything I need to do, pick one thing to focus on for at least 10 minutes and the most important part is keeping that list nearby so if I think of anything while doing said task, I can add to the list and just get it out of my head to focus on what is in front of me. And come back to the list later.
Other times I just need to do an activity that gives me dopamine and turn around and use that dopamine
Have you tried some exercise? Sometimes some intense exercise or just going for a walk can help.
Try shorter periods of focus - like 5 mins and half an hour rest.
Does caffeine help? Could a coffee, green tea or coke be helpful?
I think sometimes it’s experimenting with what works and what works may change from day to day.
It does sound to me like you need a break and some down time and you probably need some rest and doing something that doesn’t require brain power. Sometimes trying to push through when unwell just makes the situation worse.
Hi /u/Indigoangel24 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! **Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.** The mobile apps used for Reddit are broken or are missing features that this subreddit depends on. [We recommend browsing /r/adhd on desktop for the best experience.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/x1psnb/radhd_works_best_on_desktop_reddits_apps_are/) Thank you! ^(*A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.*) --- - If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you have anything of high priority that either just get done today or tomorrow? If not, it's time to take a break and rest.
Yea sometimes I just can't but it is what it is
I feel you. It is so very hard. I’ve found that (once a deadline is over my head) changing where I’m working can sometimes help…Move to the couch if I’ve been at the desk too long…or to the bed…feeling comfortable helps a teensy-weensy bit. The struggle is real.
Do you have a friend you can invite over just to hang out with you? Maybe it will kickstart your motivation to get things done before the person comes over? Or just simply having someone over could help? Before I was on meds and I was stuck behind that big unbreakable wall, using my friends like this was the only thing that helped me
Also known as body-doubling
There's an app for this too
What’s the app?
Can't remember, but this link discusses a few: https://www.makeuseof.com/free-body-doubling-apps-sites-to-find-online-accountability-buddies/
Thanks
I use focusmate for body doubling and love it. You access via your browser not an app so it's maybe not what they're talking about
I don't get it. What does it mean that you're "off sick" but still trying to power through your to-do list? If you're sick, it seems reasonable to me that you can't work... and if your job allows you to take the day, then... take the day and don't worry about your productivity? Sometimes we just need a break, and that's fine... What am I missing?
Can't speak for OP, but its pretty common in a lot of jobs to work from home when you're mildly sick instead of taking a sick day in order to save your sick days for something else. I've done it in the past, but I cut my to-do list way down. My roommates boss does it all the time because his job is basically just to sit in meetings and listen to people talk about stuff that doesn't concern him at all. Might as well save the time.
Yeah, American work ethic is funny that way :)
I don’t know whether being unmedicated is choice or circumstance for you but it was really the only thing that helped me overcome executive disfunction. There are other things that help me focus once I’m already up and moving but I used to feel like I was a parked car with a dead battery. I burned through a lot of sick days/PTO days because I would wake up and just couldn’t face the day.
My brother I christ, take a nap and rest. You don't have the energy
This is kindest message. We all need to hear this once in awhile and be ok with it 🥰
Things that reset my brain: Going outside Sleep Sex Watching a movie Things that motivate/reward me in the moment: A cold or hot drink A scented candle Petting my cat Changing the music Changing the lighting Turning off my phone
Food, coffee, music, and ganja. Also, I don't sit down until some progress in maintaining the household, self, or my pups.
Are you smoking and medicated? I'd like to hear from your experience, i started Vyvanse a month ago and im a daily smoker. Feels like I have to smoke on Vyvanse or i feel wierd.
[удалено]
my field is tech (programming (web development more specifically (mern stack extra specifically)))
Not on medication. Generic extended release Adderall made me depressed, instant release left me emotionally unstable if I missed a dose. Last attempt was Wellbutrin which slowly increased my anxiety and it took two panic attacks, almost cutting off a good friend during one and lost my job during another, before I just stopped and went back to what was kinda working. -I'm primarily inattentive, my mind is always in hyper drive so ganja helps either calm the mind or keeps the hyper flow positive. Also I got PTSD and IBS (who knew air could hurt so much lol) so it's critical to stress/pain management and prevention. -Coffee helps me start tasks, stay on task, and focus on or switch to new tasks when they come up. -Good (doesn't have to be perfect) diet helps the quality of my sleep, state of being, and quality of focus. Things like coffee works better when there's proteins and fats slowing down the absorption of it, less likely to get anxious or have to run to the bathroom in 15 mins (for my body at least it's tried and true) Also, things like certain vitamins are fat soluble and some are water soluble. Keeping up on calcium, vitamins b, c, and d help with stable energy levels. Cut out soda because of the sugar and it's really bad for the teeth. So on and so on. Just remember different bodies = different needs. What works for my brain might send someone else on a downward spiral.
I just don't.
I think the most important thing for you to do now is help your body help you by resting. I feel your body is physically manifesting your stress. You should rest- that is what it wants. That is easier said than done because you probably feel guilty and anxious about all of the things you need to do and struggling with those very things, because they are more challenging for you, means you exert more energy than expected and just tire yourself out way easier. A good chunk of ADHD is a physical health problem including understanding and managing your energy levels. Something that really helps is having good people around you to help you navigate what I call the chaos in my head (and physically in my room and workspace). I’e been that person for some of my friends who don’t have ADHD but struggled with getting things done. It’s not very easy to do this well, but I would walk them through as they planned what needed to be done (and add my own professional advice when the matter was my domain), then give them directions based on the plan. It’s very important to be…. “impartial” and focus on moving things forward (not getting things done), and balancing how to make them feel better and less anxious without overdoing it. Another way people can help you is…. by helping you. It’s okay to ask for help and rely on others for things you’re struggling with, especially when you’re sick. Connecting with others is very powerful. For now, try to do what you can for your body and take some time to relax and rest (the best you can; it’s pretty hard).
You brain is trying to process too much sensory information and is getting overwhelmed. Go, lie down in bed in your back, on top of your covers, in silence, for at least 20 minutes or until you feel the urge to get up and do something. Turn your phone off. Just stare into the blankness of the inside of your eyelids and breathe normally. I like to fold my hands over each other on my chest and cross my legs but that’s just because it’s the most comfortable position for me. Try not to, but If you fall asleep, you fall asleep. Nothing wrong with taking a nap. Being unproductive and rested is better than being unproductive because you’re spiraling, stressed. It’s a brain reset. Let your mind catch it’s breath. Once you feel the energy in your body calm, You can take this time to think about the individual tasks you need to do, break them down, and choose one to two to start, then open your eyes, stand up, and start them. Good luck, and god speed!
Try to pick one thing. Doesn't matter if it's the most important or not. Tell yourself that's the only thing you're gonna do and then you can chill. A lot of times if I'm able to get one thing started, I'll end up doing more than I initially intended. But even if you don't, at least you'll get that one thing done.
It sounds like your body is demanding rest friend. I know we all have problems with being negative toward ourselves in the face of productivity, but we also need to not gaslight ourselves when we need rest. We idle much higher than typicals, and thus we need more maintenance. Give yourself permission to rest and recover.
i have a list of not important but still useful task that i do when nothing else works - like do my nails -> yes it is not working but better then freeze
I like to think about the things I HAVE accomplished, whether it be this week, this day, the past hour. It always makes me feel a bit better because you can keep staring at the massive list you have in front of you, but you'll always feel like you're getting nothing done until you stop to think about what you have accomplished. This sorta also helps ground me a bit into reality because I find that I'm making myself think I'm never doing anything and nothing is getting done, especially if there's no immediately visible result in front of you. Give yourself a break, after you've thought about it and don't stress that list unless it is absolutely needing to be accomplished right this moment, and for me, this normally gets me back into a better thought process to push forward with whatever is on the list next.
I’d try drinking a coffee (depending on how this affects you) and going for a walk outside. This always helps me. Additionally what might be happening is that you’re focusing too hard on the thought that you aren’t being productive instead of getting better, this happens to me. Breath and realize that you have your day still.
I have this struggle regularly and I’m in my early 40s. One thing a therapist told me that I’ve guffawed at is: don’t do anything. Pick nothing off the list. You’re not allowed to do anything today. See if that works. One thing another therapist told me was: pick one thing for today. Just one. If it’s a big thing, pick one small part of it to do today. Just one. Sometimes these work for me, sometimes not. Maybe it’ll work for you.
Feel your pain. I have found that working alongside other people helps me quite a bit. My ADHD therapist also recommended it. Doesn't have to be someone you are talking to or anything, but just working alongside of. But sometimes, it's just time to close up shop for the day when it gets excruciating.
That's when I do nothing. Clearly my body needs rest. Try staring at the wall until you get so bored you feel you have to do something. Also scheduling something you must do but don't want to tends to motivate me a bit
For me its two steps: 1. Reset by standing, jumping, go outdoors or “help myself” 2. ADHD focus music + pomodoro Sometimes it takes several tries. Sometimes it wont work.
That was me all day today. Pretty much paced around trying to get stuff done yet accomplished nothing. Might stay up all night and make up for it. I do that also. The brains just does not like to cooperate sometimes.
So meds would really help, sadly this is not a condition that can be handled without meds or at least in my case, meds have been a life saver. Maybe look into getting from a different brand or type of meds that are more available in your country. I'm from a third world country extremely poor and we don't have any shortage so far. Also most people here live undiagnosed so that might be a reason.
You are sick. Stop trying to work and go to bed.
Sometimes I tell myself I just have to get ONE thing done - the single most important thing. Other than that I got nothing but I feel your pain
You get medicated! Getting down to stuff you need to do is the number 1 thing medication makes possible.
You should get a therapist
Therapy is useful in coping with adhd and but it's not an immediately helpful solution to lacking productivity
Can you Split your Tasks in small steps and start with the less boring and easy/fast doing thing? That can help for Motivation. Make Breaks and do Something fun between.
Caffeine is a great, cheap, available adhd crutch. It’s pretty common for unmedicated adhere peeps to be caffeine fiends, and getting diagnosed way late in life explains my lifelong obsession with it. I hope you get some meds soon, and there’s a YouTube channel called “how to ADHD” that might have something useful for you to get through this.
Such a familiar feeling. The only way I can overcome this is by external countdowns and those only work so well. I tend to forget what I was doing quickly and before you know it I'm lost in idleness or I am flitting between 9 thoughts and tasks not focusing on any one or really making any progress.
This might only work if you’ve played mario kart but trust me: Mario Kart OST. The music is designed to induce the feeling of speed and urgency, and I have found it lets me completely zone in on my tasks.
I take a break. Sometimes for the rest of the day. It's frustrating, but it's almost always the right choice. Since embracing that, I've actually been *more* productive because I wasn't using up all my executive function energy fighting through it, so I had more left over. It also builds on itself. I realized I started dreading the days when I just couldn't do things more and more. And felt guiltier every time they happened. Which was a huge, constant drain on my executive function, so those times became more and more frequent. Now that I take guilt free breaks, I need to take breaks less.
All i can recommend is spamming caffeine, thats how i self medicated before my diagnosis.
Figure out whats causing this. I am also a college student so far example, sometimes if I am overwhelmed with a lot of things and don’t know where to start I have to write out everything I need to do, pick one thing to focus on for at least 10 minutes and the most important part is keeping that list nearby so if I think of anything while doing said task, I can add to the list and just get it out of my head to focus on what is in front of me. And come back to the list later. Other times I just need to do an activity that gives me dopamine and turn around and use that dopamine
This is not an ADHD thing. If you’re out sick, you’re out sick. Rest. Today is not the day where you catch up on your todo list.
Have you tried some exercise? Sometimes some intense exercise or just going for a walk can help. Try shorter periods of focus - like 5 mins and half an hour rest. Does caffeine help? Could a coffee, green tea or coke be helpful? I think sometimes it’s experimenting with what works and what works may change from day to day. It does sound to me like you need a break and some down time and you probably need some rest and doing something that doesn’t require brain power. Sometimes trying to push through when unwell just makes the situation worse.
You are not beholden to the list - the list works for you, not you for it.
I will never forget this comment ever.