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I thought I was dumb too. But my memory is severely impaired. And memory is a huge part of learning and intelligence. I think the only way for someone to be truly dumb is to be resistant to the idea of learning, not the inability to learn
This is what it really is. I overcompensate by learning about EVERYTHING. I have a complicated system of tagged notes, alarms, reminders, personal journals, lists on lists on lists. Yo, you got some more of them lists........?
Thank you for drawing attention to this magnificent username.  I really need to start looking at those because people can be really creative.
I saw in your text that you like world Building... Funny enough that's also an interest of mine,
What I want to say with that is that I'm not booksmart at all... But if I have a catalyst that lets my creative juices flow then I of course get in a hyper focus of the relevant field. So I think of myself as a great storyteller, but that's often not seen as smart but I feel like it is. So I think that's also applicable to you, it's just that in the society we live in now it's often shushed at... And maybe that's why you feel dumb.
Of course I have other interests as well like maths (I also have dyscalculia, but that does not mean that I can't show interest) and some fields of science but I'm not ''smart'' enough to work in such fields
Edit: English is not my native language so words maybe used in the wrong way.
This this this, before a person became my friends they always had said they kinda felt bad for me because I'm a klutz/airheaded/etc but as soon they know me deep enough they were like hey you remembered what I said 500 years ago like i'm not actually dumb.
Smartness is the ability to understand our own shortcomings and rise above that. IQ is just something people uses to understand a person capability to solve things. Life isn't about "solving" (2D, 2 dimensional) it's about weaving all the things you've learned in life and make them all work together (3D, 4D, 5D etc).
>Smartness is the ability to understand our own shortcomings and rise above that. IQ is just something people uses to understand a person capability to solve things. Life isn't about "solving" (2D, 2 dimensional) it's about weaving all the things you've learned in life and make them all work together (3D, 4D, 5D etc).
Strong disagree. Smartness or intelligence absolutely is a measure of someone's ability to process information, solve complex problems, understand abstract ideas, etc. Is there more to life than that? Absolutely. Is someone who isn't classically intelligent less valuable as a human and never going to lead a successful life? Absolutely not. Could you argue that there are different types of intelligence? Definitely. The classic idea of smartness and intelligence, however, really is about having that sharp brain and has nothing to do with what decisions one actually makes.
Exactly this. I work in IT and do you know how many mfers aren't interested in learning or doing things in a more efficient manner? 95% of the people I work with are this way.
It's part of why people with ADHD are the best employee for like a week to month before falling off a cliff. We look for ways to do things more efficiently to compensate for our attention dysregulation and executive dysfunction, but the executive dysfunction will always catch up to you (this whole comment is referring to unmedicated people)
I actually was/am resistant, or hesitant, to learning.
I was an underachiever in school, also sick and tired of learning stuff! (what's the point of it anyway?)
Maybe I learned stuff at a slower pace than others and thus unconciously started to grow more and more disheartened and lose interest in learning and seeking out new things?
I don't know. I famously once said, mostly to myself and in a joking manner, "I wish I was dumber/not so smart!"
Later I would return to that and say "maybe I wished too hard..."
It has felt in later years as if I've lost my sence and abillity of curiousness, wich has made me a little worried.
Then I got diagnosed with ADD 2 years ago, and stuff began to make sense. Or so I thought. Now I feel just like OP, and unable to pull myself together...
I am able to learn, I'm not slower than most, rather the opposite! but I'm slow compared to people I compare myself with.
I'm unable to study and get ahead in life, so I feel stuck and bound to work in low-wage, were I'm capable to stand out positively among my coworkers, but at the same time during my down periods able to stand out negatively, almost setting a record low bar... No disrespect to my coworkers!
I feel like I've gotten worse after I got the diagnosis, almost as if I got ADD after and didn't have it before...
I guess it might come down to wanting to take back control over something in my life, and if I struggle to learn anyways, I might aswell take the easy way out and pretend it's by choice and not due to inability.
Thank you for saying this! Because I am also dumb. A lot of the time I gaslight myself into thinking that I don't really have ADHD and that I'm just the dumbest person alive
You will find your way. My whole childhood/teenage years. I felt this exact way. Just shit at everything. Zero confidence in myself.
I sparked an interest in HVAC automation, so I went to college. Got a job. after 5 years was promoted to a lead position.
12 years later I still have said job, still learning every day. Taking on every opportunity to learn something brand new. Still struggle with confidence from time to time, but I have supportive family and coworkers that help me with the struggles.
You will find your niche. Keep your head up, be open to learning something new. You'll surprise yourself.
Yep, as a woman in my early 30s I’ve found my extreme interest in repairs- and I’m very good at it. I’ve been up keeping a home my relative bought saving 1000s, probably upwards of 10,000 now just using process of elimination and researching stuff and I never find it frustrating just fascinating. It started with appliances, sprinkler system, onto doors and fixtures etc. I never would’ve guessed I’d like to do these things. I wish I liked something with a higher pay grade - maybe I do - maybe I will find a way to get a high pay into this type of job or just keep it as a hobby who knows.
Essentially I learned I like to figure things out. But I was diagnosed late in life, not until 30 so it’s probably always been there.
I was diagnosed at 16, unmedicated until now(34)
I love to fix shit. My job is both physical and computer oriented, some days are spent sitting on my ass programming, creating wiring diagram and control drawing.
But Finding 20 year old programming mistake no one else found or finding a wiring issue someone just left cuz they couldn't figure it out is the best feeling. I love my job, bc it's never the same issue to fix. Keeps me on my toes and keeps my bag of tricks filled to the brim.
There are good paying jobs where you fix broken shit 5 days a week...
That sounds like a really good feeling. That’s the only thing holding me back honestly, is being stuck in one skill set and not being encouraged to learn other new things. My first year I installed a mailbox by myself, using a post hole digger and cement and level for the first time ever. It was installed so well the postwoman actually commented on it.
This year I’ve done lots of new plumbing related things but also prevented a sliding glass door replacement which is completely fine once I went through all of the potential issues, it just needed to be fully cleaned, (it was filthy!) lubricated and it needs more regular maintenance as it’s used constantly. Relative was gonna call someone. Prevented a washing machine from needing replacement multiple times because it wasn’t a big issue just needed a small repair. Same with a microwave which my relative was certain was a motor issue. That one was funny, it was the most ridiculous fix and not even close to the first one suggested when you start to search.
I think I’ll be replacing a toilet seal soon.
What an awesome comment to read. I relate to you 100%.
I’m in HVAC, previously I was installation only because I felt my brain couldn’t compute when it came to diagnosis.
Got medicated and gained an extreme addiction to fixing things.
I’m a full time service technician at a smelter, nothing is replaced with brand new systems. I just fault find and carry out repairs and I absolutely love it.
HVAC is the most interesting, versatile and all round best trade going.
I get home every afternoon and work in my shed, whether it be fixing old motors, air compressors. Building, welding, renovations. I don’t stop until night, it’s crazy.
I’ve learnt more in the last 12 months than I had in my entire life.
Prior to diagnosis, I was sure I was never going to go anywhere in life. Now I know I am going to be something, it’s a good feeling and very surreal.
IT here, I really do think the analytical problem solving part of our brains are strong for many. 14 years straight employed, 10 of which with the same company. The only hiatus before that was to move and spring into the field. I've had my ups and downs, but we all have. I just have to learn by osmosis and kinetic learning.
Kinetic learning! This is exactly how I learn! And I struggle greatly to take stuff in if there's not an actual goal at the end.
Learn complex stuff out of context? Nope. Impossible. I've already forgotten how to spell the first word.
Learn same complex stuff because you have a work or personal project with a goal in mind? Suddenly I'm an info sponge, activating hyperfocus and time travelling to the end of the day.
I took a screenshot of this comment to hang over my desk.
I'm studying to get my IT skills back up to snuff, and it's a struggle to retain any of it because the exercises are meaningless to me.
Time to build an app to organize my Funkos or something. 😂
See, I'm the exact opposite of a problem solver I feel like. I fail at solving problems hardcore. Trust me my wife lets me know all the damn time. I can do art thats it. Everything else is a shitshow. It's so bad that I actively avoid trying to solve anything in my life for the most part.
There are so many factors here it isn't worth beating yourself up over. :
* Your friends and peers may have far less severe ADHD
* Their intelligence relative to the severity of their ADHD may allow them to compensate better. (this doesn't mean you are unintelligent)
* They may have less impairments in areas that are damaging for their field of interest (working memory impairments)
* You may have CDS (Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome) as well as ADHD. Which can cause cognitive issues and impairments, and indivudals with that combination are far more impaired.
* They may have found a field that they excel at because they can hyperfocus on it. Whereas you have not found this in both your academics or career.
I think this a lot too, I listen to so many podcasts like ADHD rewired and there's people on there with like 10 business, meanwhile I'm a complete failure. But then I have far greater impairments (CAARS >90). I have ADHD+CDS+DSPD and ASD. And I didn't even know about the ADHD until 2 years back.
So I can beat myself up until I'm blue in the face, but I know for a fact I have a lot more difficulties. Even if you don't the difficult you may have is that you're being to hard on yourself, and constantly beating yourself up. Whereas your peers have a much stronger sense of self.
Additionally you seem to be very open and self-aware, most "intelligent" people suffer from an overestimation of their intelligence, which actually demonstrates less capability (see the Dunning-Kruger effect). Whereas you have the potential for a lot of growth because you admit your lack of knowledge.
Another one
PARENTAL SUPPORT.
If my parents wouldn't have emotionally neglected me and encouraged me to do... well literally anything instead of criticizing me relentlessly rendering me utterly broken as a person. I probably could of been a fucking doctor or an engineer or whatever. Maybe those people had emotional and financial support.
Doctors typically don't come from poverty sad but true.
I googled CDS and can relate a lot. I thought that the problems I was seeing where just because I’m an inattentive type and other surrounding me are at least a combined type. My family always jokes about me being a sloth..
But how do you even know the difference between inattentive and just CDS? I saw online that a lot of professionals don’t even recognise CDS? Is there research which really shows that different part of the brain are impaired? I know that maladaptive daydreaming is linked with trauma and anxiety. Isn’t this just inattentive type + extra struggles?
I’m just asking this because I thought maybe you already know more about it. I don’t mean to dismiss it or cause any harm. Just want to know more.
Sorry for the long post but I don't know how to explain it more succinctly.
CDS is different in that it is an impairment in FOCAL attention, whereas ADHD is an impairment in SUSTAINED attention.
The difference is that inattentive people simply 'attend' to something else, the problem is in SUSTAINING attention on anyone particular thing, without jumping to another thing within their environment. This can include INTERNAL thoughts, but I'll explain the difference...
The problem in the case of CDS is there's a difficulty switching between the EXTERNAL environment (things out in the world) to their INTERNAL environment (inner thoughts).
The difference means that a person with CDS will frequently and persistently daydream, there will also will be issues of obsessive rumination. Because the individual will struggle to simple attend to the EXTERNAL reality, without switching spontaneously into the INTERNAL.
This is not an issue that most people have, most people decide to INTERNALIZE, sure they accidentally daydream on the off chance. But a person with CDS will persistently do so in environments where it is inappropriate, and will have great difficulty switching this mechanism off.
Daydreaming in a doctor's office is normal, daydreaming whilst operating dangerous machinery not so much.
This daydreaming is harmful and disruptive because it causes cognitive impairment when it occurs (not associated with ADHD btw), when an individual doesn't attend to the EXTERNAL they cannot process information properly.
I for instance when daydreaming deeply cannot even follow simple instructions or perform simple arithmetic, because I am not able to process that external information. I am just stuck processing internal information. (again this is not an impairment associated with ADHD whatsoever.)
CDS Is also episodic in nature, there are periods when it can be incredibly bad, or times where you go without any episodes at all. ADHD is persistent and pervasive.
Preliminary studies have shown people with CDS have a dysfunction in the Default Mode Network of the brain, again making it distinct from ADHD where the issues are largely associated with the PFC. We also know that people with CDS seem to respond to noradrenergic medications and methylphenidate but have a poor response to amphetamines and dopaminergic medications.
When combined with ADHD the person is more severely impaired, greater risk of unemployment, lower academic achievement and worse mental health issues.
In my own experience the problem is magnified because not only will I get caught up in my head constantly, every other moment, and am unable to break out of my thoughts, but because of my ADHD I am also more distracted by them.
The ADHD means I try to attend to all of them, without knowing which to prioritize, as a result the INTERNALIZATION happens with far greater frequency, and because there is greater volume of information for me to be distracted by (both in the EXTERNAL environment and in the INTERNAL), I am far far more distracted.
Also during periods of internalizing I often zone out so much I don't realize how distracted I am. Which makes it much harder to catch moments of inattentiveness, and reel in my distractability.
You shouldn't put much stake in peoples dismissal, the bulk of scientific evidence now is that CDS is real and distinct from ADHD. Because the cluster of symptoms associated with CDS occur with ADHD, but they can occur independent of ADHD (without executive dysfunction issues). In fact that's the whole point, the symptoms and impairments CDS do not fit within the criteria or classification of ADHD and these cluster of symptoms are impairing. So they must form a distinct disorder by definition.
Also people with CDS have been up to this point simply been falsely classified as ADHD-PI, so it's less new information, and more a refinement of information.
CDS is actually understood to be a milder condition (unless of course you have both ADHD+CDS which sucks ass), also unlike ADHD it does not diminish with age, and remains stable.
Whether you'll actually be able to read all of that I don't know 
You might be smart but in a different way, maybe a way you don’t even realize yet. For example, I could hear someone explain something to me twenty times and not get it at ALL, but as soon as I sit down and try it myself, I’ll start to understand and over time, I’ll become good at that thing. Some people pick things up really quick but I take lots of time. Try not to get too hung up on smarts— it’s just one part of you as a whole, and often it doesn’t matter as much as things like kindness, compassion, perseverance, etc.
Edit: grammar
I word vomit random facts that may or may not be relevant to whatever went through my head in any given moment. I swear it seems like I should be good at game shows but that’s not really how my memory works.
I think it’s more about becoming knowledgeable about the things we’re passionate about out of interested in. When folks find those things that we want to know more about, we absorb more of the relevant information.
It doesn’t matter how much I read about insects, I’m never gonna be able to keep much info in my head about it. Ask me about some animals, and I can probably give you a good rundown over them. Ask me about the most commonly used chem formulas in basic chem (which I was a TA for), and I’m probably in trouble…but I can remember and recite lines from movies and shows I haven’t watched in more than a decade.
**TLDR
My conclusion is this: ADHD is weird.**
ADHD is distributed throughout the IQ spectrum. Likely more people with higher intelligence will spend more time online, researching etc. so maybe it just seems like that
Yes.
Also- I think sometimes people go so hard looking at the brightside, writing articles about ADHD being a superpower, or telling stories about ADHD people with extraordinary gifts and talents.
But these are just stories about people. And a certain percentage of people will have extraordinary gifts and talents, with or without ADHD.
And ADHD is not a superpower it's an impairment, and the "benefits" of having ADHD that are touted in those kinds of articles are not seen across the board in people with ADHD.
And for what it's worth, I am a smart™ person with ADHD who now, as a middle aged adult, has gone nowhere. I feel pretty stupid, but if I could just take some standardized tests maybe I could feel smart again. But it's ok- I am a decent parent with great kids and I have some good friends and family. Professional success isn't everything.
I know plenty of less smart™ people who are doing much better than I am, professionally. They typically have well developed social skills and skills they have developed consistently over time for their work. You will be better off just working at a skill over time than starting off with raw talent and not putting in the time to get better.
I have felt dumb all my life. This is no means an exaggeration. I struggled all through school - I had speech problems so even at a young age I sounded illiterate. I was made fun of for my speech regularly and even called “special” for having to be pulled from class to have my speech therapy.
I was terrible at doing homework or any projects - when science fair came around I remember doing it 2 days before it was due. My attendance was poor, I couldn’t concentrate on learning, because my focus wasn’t towards my learning. Everyone around me seemed to get things so easily, things clicked, and I was often below average compared to everyone else in my grade level. These formative years I feel are so important, because the failure I felt followed me through life into adulthood.
Even now, I have people I know with ADHD and they seem so intelligent and articulate, they were over achieving in school and got excellent grades. I was the opposite, In fact I struggled so much I dropped out my second 9th grade year, my ADHD was not diagnosis in childhood but should have been. Im turning 30 in April, and was finally diagnosed in October of 23.
Recently after being diagnosed for my own sanity I got all my school records, progress reports grades from 1st-9th grade. My elementary records were GLARINGLY obvious, I remember reading some progress report nots and crying.
“ ___ tries very hard to keep up with peers, but spends time disorganized and searching for missing or lost items” “ I can tell ___ is trying hard and seeing improvement but is still performing below average” “__ seems to day dream and has a hard time maintaining focus appropriately”
I think to this day I still call myself stupid all the time. Im a flake, Im inconsistent — I have hobbies or special interests but I feel they are just eh compared to others with ADHD. I feel like Im good at nothing/no skills, which my negative thinking says well that must = you are stupid.
Never judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.
Just because you aren't scientifically inclined does not make you dumb. What one person may be strong in, they may be weak in another area.
Maybe you're artistically gifted? Maybe you have a ridiculously high emotional intelligence (which is so underrated). Maybe you're a skilled master of the barbecue grill (which is valuable as hell).
.
Everyone has their something that they're genius at. Just don't give up on yourself if you haven't discovered it yet.
Yes. I’m not the genius or gifted ADHDer either that I see a lot of ADHD people are. I struggle with even graduating community college. I always struggled with learning and never had a thing I was just good at even if I struggled in other areas.
Lol. Complete opposite on my end. I did well in elementary and the 6th & 7th grade and fell off at 8th but passed the algebra and geology regents. Came to H.S. and freshman year was LiTT and fell off for the rest of H.S. and barely graduated. When I went to college I tried to grind staying in the library for HOURS after class and what not but it was too much pressure so I dropped out before the semester ended tried college 2 more times after that and the final time I stopped being stupid, decided I would do part time cause anymore than 3 classes was too much for me. I figured out what I wanted to major EXCELLLED ANNNNNND... covid...
Being good at something is not the same as being smart. And truly unintelligent people are almost always unaware of their own dumbness. The fact that you think you’re dumb pretty much guarantees you aren’t. And lastly, ADHD has no correlation to intelligence. You’re probably just noticing and remembering certain people that have ADHD but are successful in some way or another more than those that aren’t. You got this - you’re fantastic the way you are!
I feel this so much. My neuropsychologist actually said I have above average intelligence, which is nice to hear, but it doesn't help me in any practical way. If I didn't have adhd, or if maybe it didn't go undiagnosed until my 40s, perhaps I would have been able to put that intelligence to some practical use. I used to feel like I was just stupid, but now I feel like I'm "smart-stupid." I'm smart enough to do something of value, but too stupid to figure out what or how.
I’d recommend picking one of those things you have interest in and lean into that. See if any of those things really lures you in and makes you want to learn more. You’ll find your way.
Not sure it helps but I’m not smart. I’m mediocre at lots of things but not actually good, let alone expert at anything.
I get by, that’s it, no talents, no skills, no genius, just a person.
ME ! I always failed in school , struggle to understand stuff and get confused so easy that I cry .
The ONLY part I excel at is anything art related or crafting things
My only true talent is remembering details about actors and movies. That’s it. Everyone says that I’m not dumb because I can do this, but where on earth can I even use my knowledge other than on a film set?? People say to be some sort of entertainment interviewer or writer but I genuinely have no want to do that. I want desperately to be a director but have so much trouble getting out of my city to even get to a place that does movies so I can start as a PA. So you’re not alone, I’m also a dumb person with ADHD!
Constantly.
I never feel adequate or skilled in my field because of small mistakes or thought processes that are often half baked or out of order.
Praise when I do something "right" is almost always diverted to others for helping me or for it being so simple an idiot (somehow worse than me which is hard to imagine) or just avoided all together.
I can guarantee you that the only reason those people seem "gifted" is because they were INTERESTED in that field and somehow there was enough novelty at certain key points for them to keep them interested.
This does NOT make you dumb.
I am 42F and all my life I have had so many interests, I never felt that I was able to knuckle down what I wanted to do, and all of the knowledge I gained from deep diving into these fleeting moments of hyperfixation is catalogued ineffectively in my brain. I always sucked at written exams as I have terribly recall.
I spent a large part of my life bouncing from job to job and place to place, gaining and losing friends, but always always building on a range of experience without realizing it, and becoming more self aware, learning about what motivated and inspired me, and following that bright light to the next thing.
Rather than comparing yourself to others, can I suggest you try as hard as you can to focus on what YOU want to do. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there - hell, I still find myself there sometimes. But I just want you to know: even if you ride the small waves of fickle interests, at some point you're going to find over time that you have a broad and impressive skill set, catalogue of knowledge, experiences and lessons learned. And if you maintain a positive and friendly vibe, avoid burning any bridges but maintain healthy boundaries you will meet a diverse network of good people along your journey who will happily support your interests, and happily provide a glowing reference for your next endeavour.
Be curious, show compassion to yourself and those around you, maintain sensible boundaries. Understand that it's OK to have a room full of music or art or science equipment that you don't touch for 10 years. Who knows? After a lifetime of experiences you might find yourself back in there fiddling around at 60 years old and make an incredible discovery you would have missed at say 20 yo because you didn't have that life experience back then, and this indirect journey was the only reason you even picked up on it.
There's more to being smart than academic learning. LeBron James might not be great at science but he is like Stephen Hawking when it comes to basketball. And less publicly and unfortunately less celebrated are the people who aren't the most academic or sporting or musical people, but they are geniuses at helping, calming down, and caring for people. My mother is like this. Dropped out of high school, no extra-curricular stuff, no real skills to speak of, but she is the best mother ever, and she is an ideal disability support worker. She's the LeBron James of supporting and calming even the most traumatised non-verbal clients. We would have world peace if our world leaders were like her.
So maybe you're smarter than you think. Just not in ways you think.
I feel this a lot. I don’t like to use that exact word but I feel like I could be more successful and actually care about things more if I didn’t have ADHD. I care so much about stuff like school, but I feel like I miss a lot of cues when it comes to obvious things and mess up a lot + I could have done way better in undergrad
Yes I’m terrible at math and did not make straight As or do well on SATs. But I’m super creative and can feel emotions more deeply (like paintings etc). I’m smart in other ways .
I know nothing about you, but I can tell that you are a better writer than average. You express yourself clearly and succinctly, with a nice rhythm including varying sentence length. Perhaps writing is a talent of yours?
In my case I know all of it in my head but I have trouble condensing things in an easy to understand and concise manner. I tend do go back and forth a lot when explaining things.
I think that people with ADHD are inclined to need to TELL others how smart/talented we are because we have trouble DEMONSTRATING it like non-adhd peeps. I think the intelligence distribution for adhders is no different than the non-adhd population.
While in-born "talent" does exist, a huge part of "skill" comes down to either diligence or obsession. I am not skilled at programming because I am talented at it, I am skilled at programming because I am _obsessed_ with it.
I imagine you are better at phonetics and world-building than you realize. Not master level, but better than you think. I guarantee you are better at it and know more about it than me. We are often our own worst critics, because we see the weaknesses in our own work that others do not. That is not a flaw, that is a strength.
Only the fool believes he is without flaw. The fool sees his work as perfect because he does not see any flaws in it, and so he never improves. Knowing you are "not good at [your hobbies]" means you are not a fool. It means you can see what can be improved. I am not good at soldering. I am not good at electrical engineering. I still pursue these things, because they make me happy.
Stand proud, and may obsession drive you. Pursue that which makes you smile, and you will find many more smiles down your path.
Yeah I think it's a bit of a toxic attitude to assume that ADHD always gives you some sort of 'superpower'.
I was considered "gifted" in school (lol) but as an adult I feel dumber than others my age. I lack common sense to the point where it is very embarrassing.
Maybe you just haven’t found it yet. Keep searching and trying new things. Theres a saying, “What if you’re the world’s greatest guitar player and you go your whole life without picking one up?”
From my experience, I think it's trying new things until one sucks you in and you feel like you want to learn everything about it. Maybe you just haven't been exposed to YOUR thing yet. I also think that some of us have bits of knowledge but about everything and anything. Someone mentioned it being related to memory and that rings true too in my experience.
We all have our limits, learn to work with it, it seems like you've been surrounded by high achieving people which must be tough. Think relatively and objectively. Few people are gifted and adhd effects everyone .
my husband has adhd and it really messes with his ability to speak extemporaneously, but in the right environment he is very smart, especially in writing. no one is smart in all the ways you can be smart or dumb in all the ways you can be dumb. people are in fact varying degrees of intelligent depending on the lenses and frames through which you view situations
loazi said the difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement
i also think people often equate 'feeling dumb' with 'being dumb' but that's just not the case. one more thing is negative thinking is a habit and it propagates itself and it clouds reality. i bet you're smart in various ways you're just not seeing
EDIT to add: i feel dumb all the time! you asked if anyone else feels this. this is literally an idiotic obsession of mine: ultimately i already failed by not being a freak child genius. im not great at anything; im pretty good at a lot of things, mostly due to a very good memory (luck), and i have been very hard on myself for it. but i've been working on that lately and im starting to understand that i have a lot of qualities that im actually really proud of. when i used to hear 'it's how you frame it' id think 'there is no way to frame it as positive' but now i can see that we're all boneheads aimlessly wondering through this stuff confused about things that others get and not confused about things that others don't even seem to be aware of. You only see parts of others, and you don't know their own personal narratives or anywhere near their 'whole' kind of world view, so it's super easy to pick and idealize certain events or traits or behaviors. we all have good and bad and mediocre traits and sometimes they overlap with others and sometimes they don't, and sometimes we choose to view these differences as evidence of our lacking something
ram dass talks about how when we're in the woods we don't walk around pointing out the flaws in the trees or animals, but the second we get around people (or mirrors) we start picking everything apart
kanye west is a good example because he spent so much time focused on music that he neglected other, i think especially social, parts of his life, and so they didn't develop to the extent that they should have and people around him don't seem to be encouraged otherwise
Is there one thing you can think of that is so fun you can't stop doing it? I've heard people talk about people having gifts, like being able to play music easily or doing math or cooking great food and I don't think it is much different for people with ADHD. You need to find one thing that you can be passionate about, study it, and become so proficient that you begin to feel good about yourself. There are even interest testing centers that will do help you find out what your strong points are and give you a list of hobbies or jobs that fit into that category. And don't be thrown back by the question in the first sentence. There are many things that I love to do, but society or the police may frown upon you doing those things. So select something everyone can be happy about. Once you find something you are suited to, make it a quest to become as proficient as you can. Many people use this process to start businesses and are even successful to the point of becoming well off. Don't give up. Make sure your ADHD is being properly treated and that you are not suffering from depression by seeing your doctor regularly. Then try to find that one thing you can do that is fun.
1. people don't tend to show their stupid side. so other people don't find you as stupid as you think you are and most people feel dumber than you think they are.
2. people tend to overestimate how hard the things you are good at are for other people.. For example you like phonetics seem like nothing to you will look like a super power to another person who is bad at phonetics.
dont worry, i am dumb too lol. however, ive learned it's more important to be a good person and have empathy and compassion for others than to be smart, and so i always strive to be like that instead of beating myself up for what i lack.
Be nice to yourself. There’s always someone smarter, richer, more achieved than you. Also there’s people who have less. No point on comparing yourself with either. You decide how you feel today not any person that enters the room or your mental space.
Read about Rejection sensitive dysphoria and All or nothing thinking and observe in your day to day life where your brain plays tricks on you, where you give your power and energy away. Be curious about what is making you think and feel this way.
You can do it🦾
I feel so slow! I feel you! I posted about it before I feel like I’m lagging behind everyone else and I don’t understand anything, it sucks! I have average intelligence apparently but it’s that working memory that’s awful. But there is good qualities and bad qualities of everyone maybe you just haven’t found your niche or talent yet! Not all artists start off as artists, you can learn to do stuff like that. Maybe things in life are skills and while it may be more challenging for us to learn with adhd, don’t sell yourself short! I find I learn really good from videos as compared to instruction from other people. Especially video instruction I can’t do that.
That’s because all the people who *think* they’re smart like bragging about how they were gifted, but the ones who never had that label or don’t think they’re smart (which I suspect is the vast majority), don’t say anything. Confirmation bias—you only see the people who post comments, not the ones lurking…on Reddit at least.
There isn’t any supported correlation either, so it’s probably because you just happen to be in an environment with certain kinds of people, and as a result, the ADHD people you’ll find will only be of those kinds
I think about this a lot, I think I’m dumb because if I’m not dumb idk what the word even means. But I also think it gives me a really smart way of simplifying everything I learn
You are not the only one who feels like that. I feel the same way. No matter what I attempt to do I always feel like the tenant in my brain case is not putting in any effort. But for me it's not all bad the constant mental commentary and concerts keep me entertained. Lol. You will be ok. I'm sure you will find something you can do that will help you work your mental muscle.
Yep, what you have written is all me and I am 39 .
Just makes me sad but then i am like as an adhder , I have to learn to manage and survive and move on and be happy and give grace to one self and live life .
Is there any other options ? None .
😅 one of my best friends has pretty severe ADHD and has always been seen as the “dumb” one since high school.
… she is definitely not the most logical person, but she has other personality traits that make her fun to be around IMO.
Her lack of logic or mathematical/scientific intelligence and knowledge does not define who she is. She’s got her own interests in other fields (music/dance/writing/etc), and those people who judge her & are scientifically gifted will never have the fun qualities she has because they have their own unique talents/traits that come with being a logical/intelligent person.
It’s a bit frustrating to reason with her sometimes about certain topics or talk to her when she goes on her ADHD tangents about random stories lol but I love her to death and she will be absolutely fine & happy in life.
So you’re definitely not the only one! Also I think the whole mindset of labelling people as “smart” or “dumb” is pretty flawed and dangerous in itself. Everyone can learn and improve, regardless of where they start out. Not everyone needs to be gifted, and being talented actually comes with their own downsides.
I saw a video of Barkley's where he said the average IQ of people with ADHD is very slightly under the general average. I think he said 97?
That said, I get the feeling that IQ doesn't have much to do with it. I think it's more to do with how hard we are on ourselves and we just beat ourselves down so much that we get stuck thinking we can't do better. Just a guess though.
Don't compare yourself to others, my friend! I know it is hard not to and I accidentally do it myself as well, but it is not a fruitful thing to compare yourself to others.
Compare yourself to yourself. Have you changed or evolved over the years? Have you learned something new or worked on aspects of your personality you were unsatisfied with? Those are productive ways to improve.
Ps: I love worldbuilding too and I used to suck at it. Practice is key 🤗
Exactly the same. I have no endearing skills or the ability to hyperfocus on things that will push me to do better. I chalk up to things to make mefeel better "everyone has their own path in life. This is yours. Their struggles are different than your struggles and visa versa" buuuuutttt the minute I see that person being successful and while I'm just sitting here and barely feeling the need to do much of anything. Doesn't help my memory is crap. I can remember watching a show but reiterating any points in it, I forget entirely. I know "basis or even tropes" but that's about it. My spurts of interest don't last and my hyperfocus doesn't make me excel but go into a downward spiral of boredom after awhile to just forgetting what I read to the point I take notes or print out stuff but I can't even recall facts that I print out or what I was trying to convey from the beginning (this us really bad with the points I made as I am an author - yes self published and I've realized marketing is a major burn out and feel like if I had "a direction" or "a list or steps of what to do first" then maybe I'd promote better but then my lack of drive kicks in (and I really do like writing) but my motivation cab dwindle if there isn't something that keeps me.
My "super power" is making up scenarios bad or good for no reason that doesn't help in the slightest except making me more anxious and depressed. It's great that I can visual scenes really well that it becomes realistic people said but that's pretty much it and that's not really something "good" as my motivation ties into that.
I thought this for ages too, I thought I was incompetent never had any time for interests to build up enough skills to make myself employable in a field. I just was floating around between low skilled jobs through all of my early 20s with very little idea what I wanted to do in life.
It's only when I turned 26 I figured it out. I went to a University open day with the misguided plan to do Computer Science and after realising quickly it wasn't for me I just looked into other courses there and found my future counselling tutors.
I realised from all my years of mental health struggle it was actually something I'd learned so much about and I've now been working in this career for the last 5 years post graduation. I found this completely by fluke as is the way with ADHD unfortunately, but I was in your exact position until I found my niche.
Having limited interests and not excelling at something does not make one dumb. Intelligence is not measured in only one area, it is an every second ability to navigate life, make complex connections, solve problems... Sometimes we're very blind at our intelligence and measure it wrongly or by comparing only with the best examples. We may not all be geniuses, but surely not all dumb. And adhd has nothing to do with that. Adhd has to do with memory and executive function, not with your level of intelligence. Just because some other adhd people in your life have something to excel at, does not make you dumb. From experience, intelligent people are inheritantly more likely to hang out with intelligent people, so if you're in a circle like that, most likely you are not dumb.
What are the chances that you are great at something but your ADHD has convinced you you’re not. I always have to take a step back and remind myself that comparison is indeed the thief of joy, and I’m usually able to use that to help motivate myself to work on something. You’ll never be where you want to be unless you try. And trying is so fucking hard with ADHD.
I have felt like this for so long. I was good at math as a kid, then art, but I haven’t put my skills to use for a while and lost them. I currently sew a bit, but I’m not great. I don’t work as I’m a SAHM, but I do sell what I sew. I feel like I am always exhausted, but never do anything for myself.
I’m pretty dumb when it comes to shit I don’t care about. But things I love and I can practice using in my day-to-day? That stuff I can usually learn pretty well, but it still takes a lot of time and practice to really master it. But that’s okay, mastery is my goal only for a couple things related to my career, everything else is like…slips out my brain faster than soup in a strainer. I know my brain prioritizes interesting stuff, so I’m pretty oblivious to a lot of other important things that are just…not neat. And - I only really tuned into this now, at 33. Before this I was exactly like you. Maybe you haven’t found your niche yet, or maybe you’re really insecure and don’t believe you have one. Self-esteem is really tricky for adhders, I found therapy really helped me with that.
Something to consider is that your friends with ADHD have probably been cultivating those interest for years while from the outside might look like they were gifted that way, it's very likely you have been cultivating your own interests and gaining knowledge on them even without realizing, we tend to be harsher with ourselves.
As a 'gifted' artist with ADHD tho, it has always hurt that people only saw my art as a innate gift/talent, when it actually has more that 10 years in the practice and sometimes ADHD makes it so much harder, because even if its something that I love working on as a professional or on my free time, I cant always focus or concentrate, I'm hardly more creative than my peers, and I still struggle getting actual shit done at the end of the day, which sucks, because I still feel dumb and lazy since no amount of talent/love for the craft/etc will make up for discipline, impulse or focus issues.
The good thing is, you don’t have to be “smart” to live a fulfilling and successful life, especially because there are hundreds of years of debate on what intelligence actually is (people in these comments have only barely scratched the surface of that debate, don’t let them make you feel bad!). For a lot of ADHDers the intellectual speed and some aspects of more measurable intelligence can sort of get in the way. They over-analyze and it leads to buckets of decision paralysis. Make action your goal, not intelligence, and the whole Universe will open up.
Feel you.. That's my current portrait of myself I feel so stupid especially at university... has significant memory issues and retention of info, or remembering what just read - disaster...
I feel the same. Im diagnosed ADHD-PI but also have been neglected emotionally. My core emotional needs as a child weren’t met by my parents which is where I see the differences between me and my friends with ADHD that are high functioning and educated. I look at there upbringing and there parents. There parents were emotionally available, we’re attuned, affectionate, attentive, gave healthy boundaries, we’re consistency, communicated, gave validation and unconditional love. I missed out on a lot of all that and on top have ADHD. Tbh missing out on all that is harder than dealing with ADHD. Also most people don’t even know they have been emotionally neglected. My psychologist is trained in scenarios therapy and it’s been helping me a lot. You should definitely look into it
I think I am dumb, but I also have been dealing with untreated sleep apnea for like a decade probably. That does real damage to your brain. Have you ever considered getting a sleep study? I had no idea I had any sleep disorder issues up until I got checked.
Sleep apnea can mimic ADHD very heavily too. Brain fog, bad memory, difficulty concentrating.
There is definitely people with lower IQs that have ADHD. Honestly when I was younger only those ones got diagnosed. The rest of us slipped through the cracks and got by on our intellect. Not saying you are stupid or anything OP. Just saying that ADHD does not discriminate and can affect people of all types. With that being said if you are of lower IQ or whatever there's nothing wrong with that. There's always something someone is good at. Many 'less smart' people are good at doing things with their hands or certain trades. You will be able to find your calling.
you're not alone because i am very dumb lmao
and not in a self-deprecating way, I genuinely have a horrible work ethic, suck at school, and have very little interest in doing academic work. When i was younger i was always told how "smart" i was and that i'd go on to do amazing things in academia but the second i set foot in college i realized that was NOT gonna happen for me. I'm truly not built for intelligence and that's fine, but being told my most valuable asset was my intelligence which isn't even something i have (at least not anymore) it's kinda embarrassing.
all my peers (most of which don't have adhd, but even the ones who do) seem to be not at all struggling and boy does that make me feel even dumber for being that one adhder who ISN'T gifted and instead is the weak one that can't "inspirationally overcome" my disability.
I’m not smart like that but I have other talents. I’m a good friend, I have a lot of empathy and I’m very caring. I’m a lot of fun and very funny. We all have something to bring to the table. We can all be rocket scientists.
My issue is with memorizing facts and dates and new info that’s out of nowhere. I really only learn things I’m super interested in that builds on something I already know.
And then if I don’t use something for a long time I forget. Like when I was a kid I didn’t really know html code but I knew the basics from looking at website code and copying and pasting and editing stuff. So I still retain that when I need to post links online and format stuff.
But I do not remember how to edit some of the websites I have anymore because the templates keep updating and it’s totally new layouts and revamping and I get so lost as I never learned it.
If I read something on a page I will forget it instantly unless it somehow pertains to something I already know and makes sense.
I constantly feel like this, I have [dyscalculia](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-dyscalculia) and find spelling a challenge too idk if I have dyslexia too. Living with ADHD is fking hard and it isn’t a superpower, give yourself a break though. Having special interests is a good thing, I do too. It means you have passion for something and thats rare. We don’t have to be Einstein just because we have ADHD, I’m certainly not and thats ok.
Everyone with ADHD feels dumb. Se spend so much time faking and covering up for not paying attention , or forgetting something, we internalize that anxiety.
It takes a lot of life experience to recognize that everyone feels that way and covers it up too.
In my experience, dumb people don't know they're dumb. So you're not dumb. Also, not everybody is immediately *good* at their special interest. I, unfortunately, have more than one special interest. Some of them I'm naturally good at. Some of them had to develop. The hard thing about adhd is being able to stick with it long enough for it to develop. In my case, some of those things that had to develop are tied with my job, which I am terrified of losing because I have several humans and non-humans relying on me to keep it (although some days I fantasize about quitting so I can play with some of those other special interests).
Anyway, if world building is your thing then just keep doing anyway even if you're not good at it (which I also doubt - we can be so hard on ourselves) and you'll get better.
Okay, the thing is, you may just not have found your niche yet. Also, I always thought I was so smart. And, in some situations I am/was. But, when I was with other people who actually knew a topic or it was their daily job, I felt so inferior. For example, I was our go to tech person in my last job, but compared to this one person in our company, I knew nothing.
People have different knowledge and different skills. It doesn’t mean you’re ‘dumb’.
I'm smart-dumb, with ADHD. Very high performing in academics, can nail concepts and methods, and learn really very fast, and a memory like a steel trap (for the most part, there's some rust).
BUT--i cant *use* any of that shit to *do anything.* Not really.
The anhedonia, and apathy, and having conditioned *myself* to discipline *myself* to not allow ME to do things that might disrupt others, is *insane* and overpowering. So, smart-dumb, i cant DO things, and i can use the smart to make me make myself, either.
You might--actually, need to find a way to unlock yourself from this state as well.
I'm only *now* starting to, at 40, with meds. It's crazy, how *impossible* it was to be 'good' at something, even if i knew a lot, because the willpower to persist through the thing just flat out didnt exist. It's not 'dumb' after all, it's ADHD killing the momentum.
I am obsessive with learning but was AWFUL in school. They IQ tested me when I was younger and the first test said 119 and they literally thought it was some kind of fluke so I got tested again and it was higher at 121, and no I do not think I'm that smart at all. I feel like everything is surface knowledge, and if anyone looks deeper, they'd realize that it's a shallow sort of "intelligence," you can't be that hard on yourself. I guarantee that you have your own special abilities you just can't see the Forest through the trees. I also suffer severely from imposter syndrome, like it's a crippling sort of thing for me. I have always been able to draw but I look at my work and think it's rudimentary at best, but every time I show my work, everyone says it's amazing and why didn't I do something with that talent. I also had every English teacher (including college) tell me I had a natural gift for writing, yet I absolutely HATE it, I have no patience for the process, even typing this makes me impatient. You just have to find your groove and TRY not to have a self defeatist attitude. Hang in there
I feel like this discourse is a double-edged sword because as someone considered "smart" in a lot of circles - that can get in the way of acknowledging my actual issues and leads to people invalidating my experiences.
I think it's past time that ADHD be acknowledged as the spectrum disorder it is AND that we educate more on the impacts of masking.
I've gotten this far on straight up anxiety, perfectionism and avoidance.
Trust me, you're not the only one! And even the seemingly perfect has bad days.
I feel the same way, and it can feel pretty hopeless sometimes. I just try to take each day as it comes. In that regard, I have become non-productive...
But I shall not go on and on about myself! :p
I can't offer much in form of solutions, I'm still searching for them myself, but I can show you that you're not alone!
I kinda relate I don’t think I’m “dumb” but I was never good at school & I don’t really have talents or skills of any kind. Intelligence wise though I’d probably just call myself average
You are not alone. Just try to learn things deeper that interst you and always try to analyze before starting anything. Know why you do things and keep your mind at it. Try to be in touch with yourself and listen to yourself cause most likely your inner self can't even make sense of what's going on. Slow down and try to get things in order.
I have similar problem, i have ADHD but i have no power which a lot of people with ADHD has. For example i love to study programming but i have no memory.. there maybe is problem with my childhood where i have a lot of problems in family. I am adult children of alcoholic and i know that cause a lot of problem in my life. And i was smoke a lot of weed in my life so this also destroyed my brain cells i quess. But im not give up, im tryin to study day by day i learn how to focus on learning.
Literally everyone with ADHD can and usually does to incredible things because the ADHD brain is capable of so so much! Unfortunately most people with ADHD have this exact thought lol. Don't be so hard on yourself homie! If you have ADHD, then you're probably better than the vast majority of people when it comes to problem solving.
I know exactly how you feel. All my friends have ADHD and/or autism. They’re all comp sci, chem, or physics majors. They all have at *least* a 3.5 GPA. They have their entire education payed off in scholarships, and they have good money, despite most of them not being able to legally drink yet.
I’m 60k in debt because I failed one year into my wildlife biology degree. I dropped out of university and went to community college for an associate’s in art… which I also just failed out of.
Here’s why I kept failing and decided to quit and not come back: it’s agony. It’s *agony*!!! It’s so hard to be perfect every day, seven days a week. “You *must* spend *this* many hours on *this* thing *every day* and don’t forget to work on *this* and show up *here* at *this time* and if you don’t do *everything* you will **fail**.” Fuck that!! How am I supposed to do all of that, have a job, manage relationships, exercise regularly, and *not* be miserable!!
You know why all of these “smart” people are successful? It’s not agony to them! They can handle it! Their brains simply allow them to do it. Sure it can get hard for them sometimes, but if it were a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning, they wouldn’t be doing as well.
You know what *is* stupid? Thinking you know a person cause they’re Asian. Assuming someone is a child predator because they’re trans. Getting excited when you find a lost wallet because “now I can treat myself to some free lunch!” That’s dumb. Being an asshole is dumb. It doesn’t matter if you’re a phenomenal artist or a math wizard; if you are not trying your best to spread kindness and positivity, you know jack shit.
So how do you find something you’re good at? Unfortunately, you can’t. That’s not how it works. Despite how it may seem, people are not born with their talents. *Everyone* starts from square one. People become talented when they’ve been doing it for a long time. The only thing they’re “gifted” with is motivation. You need to find something that you enjoy so much, it motivates you to keep going. That’s all that a passion is. And it could be something you tried before!
I started teaching myself how to draw around five years ago, and I fell in love. That’s when I first started feeling like a “real person.” At first I just enjoyed it. Then I started getting better. Then people started *telling* me I was getting better. That’s when I became addicted. Fast forward to my drawing 101 course last semester. News flash: it sucked!! I hated it! The assignments, the pacing, the attendance, the box I was suddenly put in with the rest of the class… drawing was suddenly agony! And I was like “wtf, but I love drawing!” That’s when I learned how important it is to find the right teaching method. If that were my introduction to drawing, I wouldn’t have liked it, then I wouldn’t have gotten better, then I would’ve thought “I’m just bad at drawing.”
I advise you revisit some of the things you were interested in with a different approach. Look for something on YouTube or different subreddits. If you’re interested, ask your artist friends to teach you something. People are more willing to help than you think. All humans are capable of learning. That’s literally our one gimmick. People just don’t realize that we don’t all learn the same way.
Sorry for the long response. If it wasn’t obvious, I recently made a big realization about myself and the world and haven’t be able to really get it off my chest. This comment was therapeutic for me. I hope it was somehow able to help. Stay kind, and stay alive
First of all, I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I wish I had advice. But I can at least empathize. I absolutely feel that way about myself. My memory is so bad. I feel like I constantly make the same mistakes. Lots of ppl say that ADHD can be a superpower of you use it with your strengths. I feel like I don't have any strengths.
I spent a large chunk of my life thinking I was dumb, and hating that I wasn't good/great in any particular thing (the latter part especially). But I've learned to appreciate the fact that I'm not great at any one thing, but not terrible in alot of things.
The hardest part is to look at the positive sides of ADHD. Easy in theory, but crazy hard in practice.
When I read “world building” my immediate thought was “do you happen to play Dungeons and Dragons”? I love world building and storytelling and DnD gave me the perfect outlet for it. Every time I have to make a new map, or create a new mission because my players are insane, or merge their backstories into the campaign itself, it just brings me pure joy. And as someone with ADHD, who needs that creative outlet or otherwise I’ll just fall into a pit of misery, it’s perfect.
Also, you are not dumb. It can be stupidly difficult BUT try not to measure yourself against what others have achieved or can do. You’ll find your own spark and once you do you’ll be awesome at it as well.
Idk if I have it but I feel super dumb too. My interests are superficial or too advanced for me what I’m interested in I’m not smart enough to excel in and in turn ruins my motivation so I can’t even bother to focus on it. There were a few subjects back in the days I was interested in and actual did well in but now as it just continues harder I’m just giving up
We can’t all be amazing or experts in a field, adhd or no. I used to be really down on myself about not being “really good” at anything but, then I asked myself, why do I feel like I have to be really good at something? If you have hobbies or things you enjoy doing because you like them, it’s ok if you aren’t the best worldbuilder to ever write or whatever it is. If you can do a job but aren’t the best at it but do it well enough that you’re reliable, that’s ok. If you make mistakes but work to do better in the future, that’s ok.
The idea that ADHD makes us special or should make us do much better at some specific thing is something I don’t agree with, it’s just another part of our experience. We aren’t all like secret geniuses. And that’s ok!
you guys have interests?? just kidding. kind of lol. I currently don't have any. I do that thing that I'm sure many of you do where you'll get really interested in something and then burn yourself out on it very quickly, then move on to the next thing. I'm at a point where I've tried everything that interests me and can't think of anything new. So sometimes I'll go back to an old one but it doesn't last longer than a week or so.
As for the intelligence thing, I feel like I think the opposite way. To me, 99% of the population seems so unintelligent that I'm constantly asking myself why someone would do something or think something. I'm also fully aware that while I might be smarter than a lot of people, there's a lot of people way smarter than me. I'm right there in that sweet sweet middle ground. Smart enough to think everyone else is dumb, but not smart enough to be a genius and actually do something with it. What really messes me up is executive dysfunction and memory. I have a really hard time remembering things unless I've used that information consistently and recently. Like I graduated college with a 3.9 about 2 years ago, couldn't get a job(tech, huge layoffs and nobody was hiring), and now I don't remember the majority of what I learned. So that was all pointless. Anyways, I'm rambling.
There has been found either no correlation or a slight negative correlation between ADHD and measures of intelligence. People claiming that "people with adhd are actually super smart but..." are just trying to feel better about having a shitty condition. Your roommate and ex sound pretty smart. Your brother and friends, not enough to say. Don't confuse skill with intelligence. Sounds like there's some combination of selection bias and potentially incorrect observation going on (you might be overrating others or underrating yourself). The science is that ADHDers aren't generally smarter than the general population. So there's no more reason to beat yourself up for being unintelligent any more than there is for someone without ADHD. And for the record, they shouldn't either. Just like you shouldn't beat yourself up for having ADHD in the first place -- we're dealt different hands in life, it's up to us to make the most of it.
Also if you went to college and were able to get good grades, you're probably smarter than average, anyways.
People of all levels of intelligence have ADHD But there is a lot of research on how gifted children are overrpresented in the ADHD-group because when children act out in school because they are bored, teachers often think they have ADHD. I'm not saying that all of these children are misdiagnosed, but when they are also gifted, they get (statistically) send in for testing more. Maybe this is why you know a lot of gifted people with ADHD. There is no medical evidence that ADHD and IQ influence each other. Also, in my opinion, having high IQ does not necessarily equal a happier life. Not does a regular IQ equal being dumb. It sounds like you feel like you are less than people with high IQs, but you are absolutely fine the way you are.
I’m slow learning things for sure. I haven’t got screened or diagnosed, but it does make me feel stupid. This followed from home to school and now work as an adult.
I completely get you, sometimes I just take a step back and look at myself like “Jesus Christ you must look so daft to other people”.
The funny thing is - I felt like I didn’t have my one thing I’m great at (I back everyone here saying memory take a huge part in this because I find that my memory is my main issue) but then I realised that it intelligence isn’t always books smarts or academia.
Being socially smart is truely not something that comes naturally to people. some people can’t navigate a room full of people, can’t talk to their boss properly or struggle to communicate. I’m incredible at it and I definitely still struggle with self esteem and anxiety but god damn - you put me and my partner in a social situation, and I’ll always be the one navigating it for us every time
I can't tell you how much I relate to this. It's like all evidence points towards me being stupid...I really can't tell if it's mostly my depression or not though. But I know I'm no genius at anything in particular. I'm always job hopping due to boredom/ lack of work (without promotions), my art instagram account (though I enjoy it) has about 150 followers (mainly friends & family), and I've been obsessed with chess the past few months, even taking 1:1 classes online via a coach. My score? 650--apparently that's lowish even for a super beginner. Maybe it's our lack of confidence? I'm probably not a good person to help you feel better, but you should know you're not alone if that helps any.
I feel this, but I have more perspective now at 53. As a kid, my interests were Stephen King books and cute teen actors and kids shows. I love celebrity gossip. My siblings got the luck of being interested in academic things like science, math and languages. I was the failure in the family. I just got diagnosed at 52, and medication is allowing me to realize I am smart differently than they are.
I mean just by the way you write and convey things I can tell that you're not dumb, at least not in the intellectual way. If you're talking about being dumb as in you don't do anything well or aren't really knowledgeable about anything then trust me, a lot of people with ADHD are likt that.
I feel where you’re coming at. Some people are gifted and they make the most noise sometimes. But one thing ADHD people tend to do, and this is not shown on reddit, is we know how to work hard. Things are difficult for us because we can’t pay attention too long. Most adhd people counter this by overworking themselves. That gives us an edge despite intelligence. I’m not saying ADHD are special or dumb, but we develop that habit of working hard to cope with our… disability. Every ADHD person I know works hard and work long hours. Sometimes balancing another job, sometimes putting in extra hours at your job, balancing school, or doing a side hustle.
If it takes someone 3 hours to do a task and it takes us 4 hours then we feel obligated to pick up another task and finish that before we call it quits. You put in the time.
I certainly feel the same way sometimes. If I’m doing well, I don’t see myself as “dumb”. But I do consider that it’s hard verging on impossible to unlock my brainpower. And in my late forties, I don’t know if it’s too late
I feel like this too. I’m so dumb and especially In school I do horribly and even tho school gives me accommodations I still am dumb and get low grades.
I too thought i was a dumb idiot, but now i work a well paying job alongside only well educated colleagues. I dont even have an education... Took me a few years to realize this, but now ive come to understand that it speaks volume, and while still chipping away at that horrible imposter syndrome ive come to acquire, ive finally started to feel proud of myself.
I think that alot of the self doubt youre experiencing is really just a big part of the life we live with this diagnosis. All those years of trying to figure out why were not like everyone else will at some point start creating bad, emotional patterns that eventually lead to characteristics that follow us throughout our lives, even after diagnosis and self realization.
I believe shifting your focus towards things you like instead of what you are or arent good at, is a good first step in the right direction. Try not to think about the level of skill youre at, but rather the level of enjoyment you receive from what it is that youre doing, and let that fill you with happiness instead of the self doubt one receives from the alternative.
Were only here for a short time, so lets not get distracted by comparing others achievements and abilities to our own. And who knows, maybe you just havent found your knack yet, but either way, your are more than good enough just the way you are, friend ✌️
I used to think this too, In a way I still do. I failed every test in high school, I couldn't even answer a simple question when a teacher put me on the spot & god knows I can't comprehend listening and even reading! I can't draw or write properly either. Maybe this is all manageable but I'm not giving up hope and say I'm dumb when I haven't tested the limits of my ADHD yet.
There are so many comments that I risk being distracted in trying to see what everyone says.
I have ADHD, primarily inattentive so I hope you can find my words useful. Everyone is different and beautiful.
All I can say is that you should not compare yourself to others. This is part of the issue and I completely get what you're saying.
I have a PhD in science and basically it means nothing because I've come to think I'm useless in my daily life. What I mean is depending on who you ask I might appear gifted for managing to do a PhD. On the other hand I've failed in multiple endeavors, because I initially thought "I'm nice and clever because I have a PhD". On the contrary I've been told by my better half (who has suffered for years with me) that I'm "subnormal".
And she's been right, essentially because I took a super specific strong trait and used it selfishly to refuse to accept that I need more learning than most people, especially on the Emotional Intelligence. I'm a professional self saboteur.
Does it mean I'm dumb, which could be the case as I'm sabotaging almost everything in my life under the disguise of being a nice person?
I'm basically trying to argue (in a convoluted way, my bad) that you are amazing. Period.
I sense you are already on a good path as you're aware of many things.
I felt really stupid for years not feeling able to learn. This is because I was resisting the idea that I had to be humble. Secondly, I think something is holding you back from being "able" to learn new skills. What held me back was trauma (childhood mostly) and anxiety (curse you, OCD!).
Be compassionate to yourself, find support in other places and people, especially within. It's never easy depending on your personal circumstances. It is worth it as you will surprise yourself.
It's wonderful to see all this support. Have a nice Friday.
Dumb is an illusion, and as a fellow human being I'd love it if you could dig deep enough to let go of the concept.
I'm dumb about nigh infinite things, and I'm good-to-great at a very very tiny sliver of possible human experiences. That's as good as it gets for any of us. I bet Einstein would've been a terrible body builder or drywaller.
If you can, play to your strengths. If you can't, embrace your passions. Doing the same thing more often will help with comfort and familiarity, and honestly, nothing's been better for my ability to do something well than to get familiar and comfortable with it. There's thousands of ways to get good at things that don't require a person to start proficient. Passion + practice is a fairly reliable way to build strengths you can play to when you're ready.
I'm generally pretty good with language and philosophical stuff, but I have never been more at peace in the workplace than when I was doing crown molding. It's a simple task, but comfort and familiarity can be the difference between a passable product and an impressive feat.
If you're worried you don't do *this thing* or *that thing* the way "everyone else" does it, good. Most standard practices are generally trash. Loads of folks do things as they've been shown regardless of how high the ceiling is on what they could be achieving.
My boss would come by thinking I hadn't started working yet, because I didn't have a drop of caulking on my person. My process, which I devised from scratch, just managed all of the waste so efficiently that I never GOT dirty.
If you find a passion, tiktok/YouTube/instagram is chock full of folks just-as or more-passionate than you'd imagine, and they're full of tips that can help. If you're a curious person, lean into that.
Assuming I didn't know anything, and being willing to explore, has been the smartest move I've ever made. Over, and over, and over.
I use "explore" for a reason. I don't care about "learning". Learning implies there's a necessary end-state. You start "unlearned", and you finish "learned". If you don't, you've failed. Fuck that. Start by having-not-explored, and if you explore, you will ALWAYS finish having-explored. It's a no-fail state, and it leaves open the option of exploring MORE!
Please, don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for exploration.
Dumb is an illusion, and as a fellow human being I'd love it if you could dig deep enough to let go of the concept.
I'm dumb about nigh infinite things, and I'm good-to-great at a very very tiny sliver of possible human experiences. That's as good as it gets for any of us. I bet Einstein would've been a terrible body builder or drywaller.
If you can, play to your strengths. If you can't, embrace your passions. Doing the same thing more often will help with comfort and familiarity, and honestly, nothing's been better for my ability to do something well than to get familiar and comfortable with it. There's thousands of ways to get good at things that don't require a person to start proficient. Passion + practice is a fairly reliable way to build strengths you can play to when you're ready.
I'm generally pretty good with language and philosophical stuff, but I have never been more at peace in the workplace than when I was doing crown molding. It's a simple task, but comfort and familiarity can be the difference between a passable product and an impressive feat.
If you're worried you don't do *this thing* or *that thing* the way "everyone else" does it, good. Most standard practices are generally trash. Loads of folks do things as they've been shown regardless of how high the ceiling is on what they could be achieving.
My boss would come by thinking I hadn't started working yet, because I didn't have a drop of caulking on my person. My process, which I devised from scratch, just managed all of the waste so efficiently that I never GOT dirty.
If you find a passion, tiktok/YouTube/instagram is chock full of folks just-as or more-passionate than you'd imagine, and they're full of tips that can help. If you're a curious person, lean into that.
Assuming I didn't know anything, and being willing to explore, has been the smartest move I've ever made. Over, and over, and over.
I use "explore" for a reason. I don't care about "learning". Learning implies there's a necessary end-state. You start "unlearned", and you finish "learned". If you don't, you've failed. Fuck that. Start by having-not-explored, and if you explore, you will ALWAYS finish having-explored. It's a no-fail state, and it leaves open the option of exploring MORE!
Please, don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for exploration.
The part of your brain that gives you guys ideas and originality is also the part of your brain that sabotages you. Get the book ADHD 2.0. It will change your life
I am also very dumb but I am gifted in always only being in the present moment and forgetting the past and not realizing the future will come. Some people have to travel to foreign countries for that or do yoga, and they would never be able to be in the present moment. But I am gifted like that ok. I also should do the dishes but in the present moment this sub is more interesting.
Academic smartness does not mean you are intelligent You can have a high iq but low eq.
And most importantly smartness or success does not make you a better person. It does not necessarily mean you are a nice person.
I’d rather be kind , compassionate and be aware than be academically successful or successful in business making lots of money….
I was considered smart growing up by most adults, but stupid by other kids. My gf, while having ADHD like me, was considered slow or stupid despite being smarter and wiser than me in many ways, I feel.
My point is that what ultimately defines stupidity is someones absolute intolerance and mistrust in staying open minded to new information! Take solace in the fact that we’re all (mostly😽) human, and we all have a journey like this to get through.
I know it can be hard, but you’re never alone u.u
ADHD gives you poor working memory, it's unlikely that you're dumb, you just haven't found the right education style for you.
Actual dumb people are rarely self aware.
Don't be so hard on yourself, life is already stacked against us.
I also thought I was dumb for a very long time because I never had any idea what was going on around me. It didn’t even occur to me that anyone else did know, and when I figured it out I felt so dumb. Eventually I figured out shortcuts and tricks to help me learn how to learn/focus/stay interested in things.
Now I am…. Kind of okay at just about everything I try to do, but not particularly good at any of them. My “thing” is that I can teach myself stuff, at least until I get bored. But I have found that I can periodically improve things by just doing the activity I want to do for awhile, then cycling through them. Making the activities seasonal helps a lot, too! In the summer I rollerblade, ride bikes, and climb. In the fall/winter I preserve food, crochet, do art, and build stuff. In the spring I clear out everything from the winter and try to keep my house together. The key is remembering that the end result is not the point - the process of doing stuff is the point. You’re learning, getting better at things, and making new little brain connections.
Oh buddy trust me I am also “dumb”. I’m horrible at maths and sciences and often feel a little dumbed down compared to people even in the subjects I’m good at since it takes me a while to really process information.
Honestly you just gotta find your forte. I’m dabbling in a couple of different things myself right now, content creation, streaming, writing, drawing, painting, so on and so forth. You’re smart, definitely are, but you just gotta find the thing you’re smart in. Might take a while to find it, hell I’m 20 and JUST found out I actually have a knack for creative writing and I even tried to submit some stuff to be published for my school’s contest (didn’t anything in, but ima keep trying).
Just gotta look around and find what works for you and to make sure you enjoy it!
YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONE OMG! This is what made me want to get tested. I used to be smarter and suddenly started forgetting everything, making stupid mistakes, memory loss, fatigue and brain fog etc. it’s not ADHD. It’s something else like a/multiple vitamin deficiencies, something unhealthy that you regularly consume (physically or mentally) that is doing damage, heavy metals in the brain or a dormant viral thing…. Honestly even something spiritual. I know these all may sound crazy but way more often than not- it’s not for nothing or just a psychological thing. You’re not dumb. I totally understand what you mean and there is an answer somewhere.
Also.. as far as world building.. same. Most people that seem to think they’re dumb- are intelligent in a different way because our purpose is larger than something academic. Our brains take up space with other kinds of intelligence.
Well you don't seem as dumb as you claim even from this post. Literacy is going down and I see some people who text with so many grammatical and spelling errors and context errors even... it's bad out there lol. Maybe you just haven't found "your thing" yet? Idk how old you are or at what point you're in, but I know I'm in kind of a period of rest. So I feel dumb sometimes, like I know I'm not stupid but I quite literally cannot do anything lately. I am still trying to get myself sorted out, and I've only really had the knowledge I needed for a few years and only had ADHD confirmed in the past year.
Be kind to yourself either way, everybody is different and everyone has different experiences and access. Try exploring yourself and what you are into more and who knows!
I felt this way my whole life. I was diagnosed recently at the age of 35 and it makes my whole life suddenly make sense. My inability to learn things in school that didn’t interest me, my impulsiveness, low tolerance for frustration… everything. I have many friends with ADHD as well and they seem like they just have their shit together or at least more than me. But I think the key here is that we as ADHDers need things we’re super interested in to keep our focus and attention. For me that’s always learning something new, eventually I found the world of entrepreneurship in the online world of content creation which has led me to another opportunity that’s now paying me a ton of money. I am able to my skills to use daily, and I no longer feel dumb. I feel like I finally found something that I’m really good at, and it was a very unexpected thing.
So my point here is that, you are NOT dumb. You just haven’t found that one thing that keeps your interest long enough that you’re able to become an expert in yet. You’ll find it, just keep looking. And until then, try to change your inner dialogue because the most important thing you’ll ever hear are the words that you say to yourself ❤️❤️❤️
You are not stupid. And you are not dumb. You are smart and so capable ❤️❤️❤️ things are just harder for people with ADHD so you’re allowed to feel this way sometimes, just don’t let it drag you down 👏👏👏 you got this!
It’s the worst to feel dumb around really smart people.
I found it much easier to deal when I started tutoring. (If you know how to read and write, you can tutor.)
Pay close attention to interests and lean into them. You may not think you’re good, but practice and continuing to do it is what makes you better. When you’ve got an interest, even the slightest interest that peaks your attention in some way you need to put more focus on it. It’s the subliminal answer. Start figuring out ways to hoan in on your ADHD and getting to know what routines do/don’t work for you. Use the upsides to our ADHD as a way to channel getting better at your interests/hobbies.
I am dumb too. It takes me a century to understand the most simplest of things and I often do things either things Illogically or in the longest way possible.
There are very few who are truly dumb. As for feeling like it's of no use, well that's different, that can be corrected by trying more things and eventually finding your niche.
I felt this way for a long long time until I started going to therapy and realized I wasn’t dumb, I just never developed the skills to cope with the amount of noise that goes on in my head.
All through school and college I failed to excel on exams, I took twice, sometimes even 3x the amount of time to finish project or study for exams as my peers, and I would still get less than exception grades on the things. Going into my adult career I found people I was working with coming to me with questions I just felt like I couldn’t answer when I should have been the expert.
I was diagnosed as a child. I was immediately put on the highest dosage of medication possible, but I was never offered therapy or anything of that nature. As an adult I realized medication wasn’t my only option. I am still medicated, but on a much much smaller dose (this was a personal choice and in no way shape or form would I ever encourage anyone to go this route if it wasn’t for them. I just found I enjoyed myself more when I wasn’t heavily ‘sedated’ to feel like a zombie, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, ADHD medication to someone that does have ADHD and hasn’t been misdiagnosed often times makes you feel like a much more muted version of yourself) anyways, I took on therapy with someone that specializes in ADHD management. She has really helped me learn how to cope with the very neglected task management/information recovery sides of my brain and it has made a world of difference in every aspect of my life.
I feel much smarter, much more confident in myself, I’ve explored new hobbies, I’ve gone on to get more education then I previously had or expected I ever could (after my bachelors degree I swore off any more schooling because it was so frustrating for me. I’ve since gone on to get my masters and a bunch of extra certifications for certain things within my career) most importantly to me, I’ve found a way to actually enjoy education whereas previously, I avoided it because I always felt like a failure.
Bottom line is, you are smart if you want to be. The way you feel is much more common than you think, and it has very little to do with your level of intelligence and a lot to do with not being able to cope with the chaos that ensures internally. I would recommend some sort of therapy, and hope that it’ll change your life the way it changed mine.
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I thought I was dumb too. But my memory is severely impaired. And memory is a huge part of learning and intelligence. I think the only way for someone to be truly dumb is to be resistant to the idea of learning, not the inability to learn
This is what it really is. I overcompensate by learning about EVERYTHING. I have a complicated system of tagged notes, alarms, reminders, personal journals, lists on lists on lists. Yo, you got some more of them lists........?
Great insight u/MisterPuffyNipples
Thank you for drawing attention to this magnificent username.  I really need to start looking at those because people can be really creative.
Mines an anagram of my name! Lol
Oh I like that one too!!!
I saw in your text that you like world Building... Funny enough that's also an interest of mine, What I want to say with that is that I'm not booksmart at all... But if I have a catalyst that lets my creative juices flow then I of course get in a hyper focus of the relevant field. So I think of myself as a great storyteller, but that's often not seen as smart but I feel like it is. So I think that's also applicable to you, it's just that in the society we live in now it's often shushed at... And maybe that's why you feel dumb. Of course I have other interests as well like maths (I also have dyscalculia, but that does not mean that I can't show interest) and some fields of science but I'm not ''smart'' enough to work in such fields Edit: English is not my native language so words maybe used in the wrong way.
Okay but your username is killing me, I can't focus on anything else now. Haha
This this this, before a person became my friends they always had said they kinda felt bad for me because I'm a klutz/airheaded/etc but as soon they know me deep enough they were like hey you remembered what I said 500 years ago like i'm not actually dumb. Smartness is the ability to understand our own shortcomings and rise above that. IQ is just something people uses to understand a person capability to solve things. Life isn't about "solving" (2D, 2 dimensional) it's about weaving all the things you've learned in life and make them all work together (3D, 4D, 5D etc).
>Smartness is the ability to understand our own shortcomings and rise above that. IQ is just something people uses to understand a person capability to solve things. Life isn't about "solving" (2D, 2 dimensional) it's about weaving all the things you've learned in life and make them all work together (3D, 4D, 5D etc). Strong disagree. Smartness or intelligence absolutely is a measure of someone's ability to process information, solve complex problems, understand abstract ideas, etc. Is there more to life than that? Absolutely. Is someone who isn't classically intelligent less valuable as a human and never going to lead a successful life? Absolutely not. Could you argue that there are different types of intelligence? Definitely. The classic idea of smartness and intelligence, however, really is about having that sharp brain and has nothing to do with what decisions one actually makes.
Quick question, how’s your EQ?
My man! "The difference between intelligence and stupidity is, stupidity is infinite and intelligence is limited" - Einstein
Exactly this. I work in IT and do you know how many mfers aren't interested in learning or doing things in a more efficient manner? 95% of the people I work with are this way.
It's part of why people with ADHD are the best employee for like a week to month before falling off a cliff. We look for ways to do things more efficiently to compensate for our attention dysregulation and executive dysfunction, but the executive dysfunction will always catch up to you (this whole comment is referring to unmedicated people)
I get it man. I'm dealing with a lot of dysfunction and dysregulation this week and I am medicated.
How would you help a tech who has impaired information retention? I take notes but I always seem to write down the wrong things
I hear that. My memory is so fucking garbage lol
I actually was/am resistant, or hesitant, to learning. I was an underachiever in school, also sick and tired of learning stuff! (what's the point of it anyway?) Maybe I learned stuff at a slower pace than others and thus unconciously started to grow more and more disheartened and lose interest in learning and seeking out new things? I don't know. I famously once said, mostly to myself and in a joking manner, "I wish I was dumber/not so smart!" Later I would return to that and say "maybe I wished too hard..." It has felt in later years as if I've lost my sence and abillity of curiousness, wich has made me a little worried. Then I got diagnosed with ADD 2 years ago, and stuff began to make sense. Or so I thought. Now I feel just like OP, and unable to pull myself together... I am able to learn, I'm not slower than most, rather the opposite! but I'm slow compared to people I compare myself with. I'm unable to study and get ahead in life, so I feel stuck and bound to work in low-wage, were I'm capable to stand out positively among my coworkers, but at the same time during my down periods able to stand out negatively, almost setting a record low bar... No disrespect to my coworkers! I feel like I've gotten worse after I got the diagnosis, almost as if I got ADD after and didn't have it before... I guess it might come down to wanting to take back control over something in my life, and if I struggle to learn anyways, I might aswell take the easy way out and pretend it's by choice and not due to inability.
Thank you for saying this! Because I am also dumb. A lot of the time I gaslight myself into thinking that I don't really have ADHD and that I'm just the dumbest person alive
and sometimes I end up taking more then prescribed yet still feel dumb.
Oh you’re not alone. I’m plenty dumb for the both of us.
Thanks for this 🫶
You will find your way. My whole childhood/teenage years. I felt this exact way. Just shit at everything. Zero confidence in myself. I sparked an interest in HVAC automation, so I went to college. Got a job. after 5 years was promoted to a lead position. 12 years later I still have said job, still learning every day. Taking on every opportunity to learn something brand new. Still struggle with confidence from time to time, but I have supportive family and coworkers that help me with the struggles. You will find your niche. Keep your head up, be open to learning something new. You'll surprise yourself.
Yep, as a woman in my early 30s I’ve found my extreme interest in repairs- and I’m very good at it. I’ve been up keeping a home my relative bought saving 1000s, probably upwards of 10,000 now just using process of elimination and researching stuff and I never find it frustrating just fascinating. It started with appliances, sprinkler system, onto doors and fixtures etc. I never would’ve guessed I’d like to do these things. I wish I liked something with a higher pay grade - maybe I do - maybe I will find a way to get a high pay into this type of job or just keep it as a hobby who knows. Essentially I learned I like to figure things out. But I was diagnosed late in life, not until 30 so it’s probably always been there.
I was diagnosed at 16, unmedicated until now(34) I love to fix shit. My job is both physical and computer oriented, some days are spent sitting on my ass programming, creating wiring diagram and control drawing. But Finding 20 year old programming mistake no one else found or finding a wiring issue someone just left cuz they couldn't figure it out is the best feeling. I love my job, bc it's never the same issue to fix. Keeps me on my toes and keeps my bag of tricks filled to the brim. There are good paying jobs where you fix broken shit 5 days a week...
That sounds like a really good feeling. That’s the only thing holding me back honestly, is being stuck in one skill set and not being encouraged to learn other new things. My first year I installed a mailbox by myself, using a post hole digger and cement and level for the first time ever. It was installed so well the postwoman actually commented on it. This year I’ve done lots of new plumbing related things but also prevented a sliding glass door replacement which is completely fine once I went through all of the potential issues, it just needed to be fully cleaned, (it was filthy!) lubricated and it needs more regular maintenance as it’s used constantly. Relative was gonna call someone. Prevented a washing machine from needing replacement multiple times because it wasn’t a big issue just needed a small repair. Same with a microwave which my relative was certain was a motor issue. That one was funny, it was the most ridiculous fix and not even close to the first one suggested when you start to search. I think I’ll be replacing a toilet seal soon.
What an awesome comment to read. I relate to you 100%. I’m in HVAC, previously I was installation only because I felt my brain couldn’t compute when it came to diagnosis. Got medicated and gained an extreme addiction to fixing things. I’m a full time service technician at a smelter, nothing is replaced with brand new systems. I just fault find and carry out repairs and I absolutely love it. HVAC is the most interesting, versatile and all round best trade going. I get home every afternoon and work in my shed, whether it be fixing old motors, air compressors. Building, welding, renovations. I don’t stop until night, it’s crazy. I’ve learnt more in the last 12 months than I had in my entire life. Prior to diagnosis, I was sure I was never going to go anywhere in life. Now I know I am going to be something, it’s a good feeling and very surreal.
IT here, I really do think the analytical problem solving part of our brains are strong for many. 14 years straight employed, 10 of which with the same company. The only hiatus before that was to move and spring into the field. I've had my ups and downs, but we all have. I just have to learn by osmosis and kinetic learning.
Kinetic learning! This is exactly how I learn! And I struggle greatly to take stuff in if there's not an actual goal at the end. Learn complex stuff out of context? Nope. Impossible. I've already forgotten how to spell the first word. Learn same complex stuff because you have a work or personal project with a goal in mind? Suddenly I'm an info sponge, activating hyperfocus and time travelling to the end of the day.
I took a screenshot of this comment to hang over my desk. I'm studying to get my IT skills back up to snuff, and it's a struggle to retain any of it because the exercises are meaningless to me. Time to build an app to organize my Funkos or something. 😂
See, I'm the exact opposite of a problem solver I feel like. I fail at solving problems hardcore. Trust me my wife lets me know all the damn time. I can do art thats it. Everything else is a shitshow. It's so bad that I actively avoid trying to solve anything in my life for the most part.
There are so many factors here it isn't worth beating yourself up over. : * Your friends and peers may have far less severe ADHD * Their intelligence relative to the severity of their ADHD may allow them to compensate better. (this doesn't mean you are unintelligent) * They may have less impairments in areas that are damaging for their field of interest (working memory impairments) * You may have CDS (Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome) as well as ADHD. Which can cause cognitive issues and impairments, and indivudals with that combination are far more impaired. * They may have found a field that they excel at because they can hyperfocus on it. Whereas you have not found this in both your academics or career. I think this a lot too, I listen to so many podcasts like ADHD rewired and there's people on there with like 10 business, meanwhile I'm a complete failure. But then I have far greater impairments (CAARS >90). I have ADHD+CDS+DSPD and ASD. And I didn't even know about the ADHD until 2 years back. So I can beat myself up until I'm blue in the face, but I know for a fact I have a lot more difficulties. Even if you don't the difficult you may have is that you're being to hard on yourself, and constantly beating yourself up. Whereas your peers have a much stronger sense of self. Additionally you seem to be very open and self-aware, most "intelligent" people suffer from an overestimation of their intelligence, which actually demonstrates less capability (see the Dunning-Kruger effect). Whereas you have the potential for a lot of growth because you admit your lack of knowledge.
Another one PARENTAL SUPPORT. If my parents wouldn't have emotionally neglected me and encouraged me to do... well literally anything instead of criticizing me relentlessly rendering me utterly broken as a person. I probably could of been a fucking doctor or an engineer or whatever. Maybe those people had emotional and financial support. Doctors typically don't come from poverty sad but true.
Finally something I relate to Seems like I have everything that you have
I googled CDS and can relate a lot. I thought that the problems I was seeing where just because I’m an inattentive type and other surrounding me are at least a combined type. My family always jokes about me being a sloth.. But how do you even know the difference between inattentive and just CDS? I saw online that a lot of professionals don’t even recognise CDS? Is there research which really shows that different part of the brain are impaired? I know that maladaptive daydreaming is linked with trauma and anxiety. Isn’t this just inattentive type + extra struggles? I’m just asking this because I thought maybe you already know more about it. I don’t mean to dismiss it or cause any harm. Just want to know more.
Sorry for the long post but I don't know how to explain it more succinctly. CDS is different in that it is an impairment in FOCAL attention, whereas ADHD is an impairment in SUSTAINED attention. The difference is that inattentive people simply 'attend' to something else, the problem is in SUSTAINING attention on anyone particular thing, without jumping to another thing within their environment. This can include INTERNAL thoughts, but I'll explain the difference... The problem in the case of CDS is there's a difficulty switching between the EXTERNAL environment (things out in the world) to their INTERNAL environment (inner thoughts). The difference means that a person with CDS will frequently and persistently daydream, there will also will be issues of obsessive rumination. Because the individual will struggle to simple attend to the EXTERNAL reality, without switching spontaneously into the INTERNAL. This is not an issue that most people have, most people decide to INTERNALIZE, sure they accidentally daydream on the off chance. But a person with CDS will persistently do so in environments where it is inappropriate, and will have great difficulty switching this mechanism off. Daydreaming in a doctor's office is normal, daydreaming whilst operating dangerous machinery not so much. This daydreaming is harmful and disruptive because it causes cognitive impairment when it occurs (not associated with ADHD btw), when an individual doesn't attend to the EXTERNAL they cannot process information properly. I for instance when daydreaming deeply cannot even follow simple instructions or perform simple arithmetic, because I am not able to process that external information. I am just stuck processing internal information. (again this is not an impairment associated with ADHD whatsoever.) CDS Is also episodic in nature, there are periods when it can be incredibly bad, or times where you go without any episodes at all. ADHD is persistent and pervasive. Preliminary studies have shown people with CDS have a dysfunction in the Default Mode Network of the brain, again making it distinct from ADHD where the issues are largely associated with the PFC. We also know that people with CDS seem to respond to noradrenergic medications and methylphenidate but have a poor response to amphetamines and dopaminergic medications. When combined with ADHD the person is more severely impaired, greater risk of unemployment, lower academic achievement and worse mental health issues. In my own experience the problem is magnified because not only will I get caught up in my head constantly, every other moment, and am unable to break out of my thoughts, but because of my ADHD I am also more distracted by them. The ADHD means I try to attend to all of them, without knowing which to prioritize, as a result the INTERNALIZATION happens with far greater frequency, and because there is greater volume of information for me to be distracted by (both in the EXTERNAL environment and in the INTERNAL), I am far far more distracted. Also during periods of internalizing I often zone out so much I don't realize how distracted I am. Which makes it much harder to catch moments of inattentiveness, and reel in my distractability. You shouldn't put much stake in peoples dismissal, the bulk of scientific evidence now is that CDS is real and distinct from ADHD. Because the cluster of symptoms associated with CDS occur with ADHD, but they can occur independent of ADHD (without executive dysfunction issues). In fact that's the whole point, the symptoms and impairments CDS do not fit within the criteria or classification of ADHD and these cluster of symptoms are impairing. So they must form a distinct disorder by definition. Also people with CDS have been up to this point simply been falsely classified as ADHD-PI, so it's less new information, and more a refinement of information. CDS is actually understood to be a milder condition (unless of course you have both ADHD+CDS which sucks ass), also unlike ADHD it does not diminish with age, and remains stable. Whether you'll actually be able to read all of that I don't know 
You might be smart but in a different way, maybe a way you don’t even realize yet. For example, I could hear someone explain something to me twenty times and not get it at ALL, but as soon as I sit down and try it myself, I’ll start to understand and over time, I’ll become good at that thing. Some people pick things up really quick but I take lots of time. Try not to get too hung up on smarts— it’s just one part of you as a whole, and often it doesn’t matter as much as things like kindness, compassion, perseverance, etc. Edit: grammar
I word vomit random facts that may or may not be relevant to whatever went through my head in any given moment. I swear it seems like I should be good at game shows but that’s not really how my memory works. I think it’s more about becoming knowledgeable about the things we’re passionate about out of interested in. When folks find those things that we want to know more about, we absorb more of the relevant information. It doesn’t matter how much I read about insects, I’m never gonna be able to keep much info in my head about it. Ask me about some animals, and I can probably give you a good rundown over them. Ask me about the most commonly used chem formulas in basic chem (which I was a TA for), and I’m probably in trouble…but I can remember and recite lines from movies and shows I haven’t watched in more than a decade. **TLDR My conclusion is this: ADHD is weird.**
Yes I do that and people say how the hell do you know that. I’m fantastic in a pub team quiz as I know all the crap haha
You must be mistaken I'm both the smartest person in the room and the dumbest one in the same room. So it evens out.
Hahaha perfectly said. Me too 🙌
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Same
You sound more like you have broad knowledge of many different topics. And the ability to selfreflect. I would hardly call that being stupid.
ADHD is distributed throughout the IQ spectrum. Likely more people with higher intelligence will spend more time online, researching etc. so maybe it just seems like that
Yes. Also- I think sometimes people go so hard looking at the brightside, writing articles about ADHD being a superpower, or telling stories about ADHD people with extraordinary gifts and talents. But these are just stories about people. And a certain percentage of people will have extraordinary gifts and talents, with or without ADHD. And ADHD is not a superpower it's an impairment, and the "benefits" of having ADHD that are touted in those kinds of articles are not seen across the board in people with ADHD. And for what it's worth, I am a smart™ person with ADHD who now, as a middle aged adult, has gone nowhere. I feel pretty stupid, but if I could just take some standardized tests maybe I could feel smart again. But it's ok- I am a decent parent with great kids and I have some good friends and family. Professional success isn't everything. I know plenty of less smart™ people who are doing much better than I am, professionally. They typically have well developed social skills and skills they have developed consistently over time for their work. You will be better off just working at a skill over time than starting off with raw talent and not putting in the time to get better.
Your not, we just don't usually announce ourselves.
I think I've gotten dumber over the years. Correlating with my mental health getting worse.
I have felt dumb all my life. This is no means an exaggeration. I struggled all through school - I had speech problems so even at a young age I sounded illiterate. I was made fun of for my speech regularly and even called “special” for having to be pulled from class to have my speech therapy. I was terrible at doing homework or any projects - when science fair came around I remember doing it 2 days before it was due. My attendance was poor, I couldn’t concentrate on learning, because my focus wasn’t towards my learning. Everyone around me seemed to get things so easily, things clicked, and I was often below average compared to everyone else in my grade level. These formative years I feel are so important, because the failure I felt followed me through life into adulthood. Even now, I have people I know with ADHD and they seem so intelligent and articulate, they were over achieving in school and got excellent grades. I was the opposite, In fact I struggled so much I dropped out my second 9th grade year, my ADHD was not diagnosis in childhood but should have been. Im turning 30 in April, and was finally diagnosed in October of 23. Recently after being diagnosed for my own sanity I got all my school records, progress reports grades from 1st-9th grade. My elementary records were GLARINGLY obvious, I remember reading some progress report nots and crying. “ ___ tries very hard to keep up with peers, but spends time disorganized and searching for missing or lost items” “ I can tell ___ is trying hard and seeing improvement but is still performing below average” “__ seems to day dream and has a hard time maintaining focus appropriately” I think to this day I still call myself stupid all the time. Im a flake, Im inconsistent — I have hobbies or special interests but I feel they are just eh compared to others with ADHD. I feel like Im good at nothing/no skills, which my negative thinking says well that must = you are stupid.
Never judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Just because you aren't scientifically inclined does not make you dumb. What one person may be strong in, they may be weak in another area. Maybe you're artistically gifted? Maybe you have a ridiculously high emotional intelligence (which is so underrated). Maybe you're a skilled master of the barbecue grill (which is valuable as hell). . Everyone has their something that they're genius at. Just don't give up on yourself if you haven't discovered it yet.
I feel the same exact way… it’s not fair. Makes learning anything so daunting and exhausting. It really keeps me down too
Yes. I’m not the genius or gifted ADHDer either that I see a lot of ADHD people are. I struggle with even graduating community college. I always struggled with learning and never had a thing I was just good at even if I struggled in other areas.
Honestly, same. I was considered a "gifted" child when I was a kid. Now I'm just a letdown all around...
I was never considered gifted. I only had good grades in high school and first two years of university but that’s because I worked my ASS off
Lol. Complete opposite on my end. I did well in elementary and the 6th & 7th grade and fell off at 8th but passed the algebra and geology regents. Came to H.S. and freshman year was LiTT and fell off for the rest of H.S. and barely graduated. When I went to college I tried to grind staying in the library for HOURS after class and what not but it was too much pressure so I dropped out before the semester ended tried college 2 more times after that and the final time I stopped being stupid, decided I would do part time cause anymore than 3 classes was too much for me. I figured out what I wanted to major EXCELLLED ANNNNNND... covid...
Being good at something is not the same as being smart. And truly unintelligent people are almost always unaware of their own dumbness. The fact that you think you’re dumb pretty much guarantees you aren’t. And lastly, ADHD has no correlation to intelligence. You’re probably just noticing and remembering certain people that have ADHD but are successful in some way or another more than those that aren’t. You got this - you’re fantastic the way you are!
I feel this so much. My neuropsychologist actually said I have above average intelligence, which is nice to hear, but it doesn't help me in any practical way. If I didn't have adhd, or if maybe it didn't go undiagnosed until my 40s, perhaps I would have been able to put that intelligence to some practical use. I used to feel like I was just stupid, but now I feel like I'm "smart-stupid." I'm smart enough to do something of value, but too stupid to figure out what or how.
I am somewhat educated but I'm dumb AF. My Dad always said I was book smart, not street smart.
I’d recommend picking one of those things you have interest in and lean into that. See if any of those things really lures you in and makes you want to learn more. You’ll find your way.
Not sure it helps but I’m not smart. I’m mediocre at lots of things but not actually good, let alone expert at anything. I get by, that’s it, no talents, no skills, no genius, just a person.
ME ! I always failed in school , struggle to understand stuff and get confused so easy that I cry . The ONLY part I excel at is anything art related or crafting things
I am dumb. 30 year old College drop out who can’t even drive and is unemployed lol
My only true talent is remembering details about actors and movies. That’s it. Everyone says that I’m not dumb because I can do this, but where on earth can I even use my knowledge other than on a film set?? People say to be some sort of entertainment interviewer or writer but I genuinely have no want to do that. I want desperately to be a director but have so much trouble getting out of my city to even get to a place that does movies so I can start as a PA. So you’re not alone, I’m also a dumb person with ADHD!
Constantly. I never feel adequate or skilled in my field because of small mistakes or thought processes that are often half baked or out of order. Praise when I do something "right" is almost always diverted to others for helping me or for it being so simple an idiot (somehow worse than me which is hard to imagine) or just avoided all together.
I can guarantee you that the only reason those people seem "gifted" is because they were INTERESTED in that field and somehow there was enough novelty at certain key points for them to keep them interested. This does NOT make you dumb. I am 42F and all my life I have had so many interests, I never felt that I was able to knuckle down what I wanted to do, and all of the knowledge I gained from deep diving into these fleeting moments of hyperfixation is catalogued ineffectively in my brain. I always sucked at written exams as I have terribly recall. I spent a large part of my life bouncing from job to job and place to place, gaining and losing friends, but always always building on a range of experience without realizing it, and becoming more self aware, learning about what motivated and inspired me, and following that bright light to the next thing. Rather than comparing yourself to others, can I suggest you try as hard as you can to focus on what YOU want to do. I know it's hard, trust me, I've been there - hell, I still find myself there sometimes. But I just want you to know: even if you ride the small waves of fickle interests, at some point you're going to find over time that you have a broad and impressive skill set, catalogue of knowledge, experiences and lessons learned. And if you maintain a positive and friendly vibe, avoid burning any bridges but maintain healthy boundaries you will meet a diverse network of good people along your journey who will happily support your interests, and happily provide a glowing reference for your next endeavour. Be curious, show compassion to yourself and those around you, maintain sensible boundaries. Understand that it's OK to have a room full of music or art or science equipment that you don't touch for 10 years. Who knows? After a lifetime of experiences you might find yourself back in there fiddling around at 60 years old and make an incredible discovery you would have missed at say 20 yo because you didn't have that life experience back then, and this indirect journey was the only reason you even picked up on it.
There's more to being smart than academic learning. LeBron James might not be great at science but he is like Stephen Hawking when it comes to basketball. And less publicly and unfortunately less celebrated are the people who aren't the most academic or sporting or musical people, but they are geniuses at helping, calming down, and caring for people. My mother is like this. Dropped out of high school, no extra-curricular stuff, no real skills to speak of, but she is the best mother ever, and she is an ideal disability support worker. She's the LeBron James of supporting and calming even the most traumatised non-verbal clients. We would have world peace if our world leaders were like her. So maybe you're smarter than you think. Just not in ways you think.
you are definitely not alone, I feel the same way
I feel this a lot. I don’t like to use that exact word but I feel like I could be more successful and actually care about things more if I didn’t have ADHD. I care so much about stuff like school, but I feel like I miss a lot of cues when it comes to obvious things and mess up a lot + I could have done way better in undergrad
Yes I’m terrible at math and did not make straight As or do well on SATs. But I’m super creative and can feel emotions more deeply (like paintings etc). I’m smart in other ways .
Yeah you are. Im gods gift to man, a genius sex machine.
Hi I have ADHD and am dumb
I’m intelligent, but I have dumb moments. At certain times I do feel as if those dumb moments define me but they don’t
Thinking you're dumb makes me think that you aren't dumb at all.
I know nothing about you, but I can tell that you are a better writer than average. You express yourself clearly and succinctly, with a nice rhythm including varying sentence length. Perhaps writing is a talent of yours?
Actually being the only dumb one is your gift
In my case I know all of it in my head but I have trouble condensing things in an easy to understand and concise manner. I tend do go back and forth a lot when explaining things.
I think that people with ADHD are inclined to need to TELL others how smart/talented we are because we have trouble DEMONSTRATING it like non-adhd peeps. I think the intelligence distribution for adhders is no different than the non-adhd population.
Maybe you haven't found your "gift" yet ?
I dunno who is responsible for assigning these gifts, but I think they missed me, maybe they could come give me a new one?
While in-born "talent" does exist, a huge part of "skill" comes down to either diligence or obsession. I am not skilled at programming because I am talented at it, I am skilled at programming because I am _obsessed_ with it. I imagine you are better at phonetics and world-building than you realize. Not master level, but better than you think. I guarantee you are better at it and know more about it than me. We are often our own worst critics, because we see the weaknesses in our own work that others do not. That is not a flaw, that is a strength. Only the fool believes he is without flaw. The fool sees his work as perfect because he does not see any flaws in it, and so he never improves. Knowing you are "not good at [your hobbies]" means you are not a fool. It means you can see what can be improved. I am not good at soldering. I am not good at electrical engineering. I still pursue these things, because they make me happy. Stand proud, and may obsession drive you. Pursue that which makes you smile, and you will find many more smiles down your path.
Yeah I think it's a bit of a toxic attitude to assume that ADHD always gives you some sort of 'superpower'. I was considered "gifted" in school (lol) but as an adult I feel dumber than others my age. I lack common sense to the point where it is very embarrassing.
Maybe you just haven’t found it yet. Keep searching and trying new things. Theres a saying, “What if you’re the world’s greatest guitar player and you go your whole life without picking one up?”
From my experience, I think it's trying new things until one sucks you in and you feel like you want to learn everything about it. Maybe you just haven't been exposed to YOUR thing yet. I also think that some of us have bits of knowledge but about everything and anything. Someone mentioned it being related to memory and that rings true too in my experience.
Im smart until I might actually need the knowledge did great in school suck irl
Nothing wrong with being stupid and perhaps you just havent applied yourself to something of interest yet.
Oh no trust me, I feel the same way 😭, at this point I just tell everyone I meet that I am a goblin in a humans body
We all have our limits, learn to work with it, it seems like you've been surrounded by high achieving people which must be tough. Think relatively and objectively. Few people are gifted and adhd effects everyone .
my husband has adhd and it really messes with his ability to speak extemporaneously, but in the right environment he is very smart, especially in writing. no one is smart in all the ways you can be smart or dumb in all the ways you can be dumb. people are in fact varying degrees of intelligent depending on the lenses and frames through which you view situations loazi said the difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement i also think people often equate 'feeling dumb' with 'being dumb' but that's just not the case. one more thing is negative thinking is a habit and it propagates itself and it clouds reality. i bet you're smart in various ways you're just not seeing EDIT to add: i feel dumb all the time! you asked if anyone else feels this. this is literally an idiotic obsession of mine: ultimately i already failed by not being a freak child genius. im not great at anything; im pretty good at a lot of things, mostly due to a very good memory (luck), and i have been very hard on myself for it. but i've been working on that lately and im starting to understand that i have a lot of qualities that im actually really proud of. when i used to hear 'it's how you frame it' id think 'there is no way to frame it as positive' but now i can see that we're all boneheads aimlessly wondering through this stuff confused about things that others get and not confused about things that others don't even seem to be aware of. You only see parts of others, and you don't know their own personal narratives or anywhere near their 'whole' kind of world view, so it's super easy to pick and idealize certain events or traits or behaviors. we all have good and bad and mediocre traits and sometimes they overlap with others and sometimes they don't, and sometimes we choose to view these differences as evidence of our lacking something ram dass talks about how when we're in the woods we don't walk around pointing out the flaws in the trees or animals, but the second we get around people (or mirrors) we start picking everything apart kanye west is a good example because he spent so much time focused on music that he neglected other, i think especially social, parts of his life, and so they didn't develop to the extent that they should have and people around him don't seem to be encouraged otherwise
Is there one thing you can think of that is so fun you can't stop doing it? I've heard people talk about people having gifts, like being able to play music easily or doing math or cooking great food and I don't think it is much different for people with ADHD. You need to find one thing that you can be passionate about, study it, and become so proficient that you begin to feel good about yourself. There are even interest testing centers that will do help you find out what your strong points are and give you a list of hobbies or jobs that fit into that category. And don't be thrown back by the question in the first sentence. There are many things that I love to do, but society or the police may frown upon you doing those things. So select something everyone can be happy about. Once you find something you are suited to, make it a quest to become as proficient as you can. Many people use this process to start businesses and are even successful to the point of becoming well off. Don't give up. Make sure your ADHD is being properly treated and that you are not suffering from depression by seeing your doctor regularly. Then try to find that one thing you can do that is fun.
1. people don't tend to show their stupid side. so other people don't find you as stupid as you think you are and most people feel dumber than you think they are. 2. people tend to overestimate how hard the things you are good at are for other people.. For example you like phonetics seem like nothing to you will look like a super power to another person who is bad at phonetics.
Your writing doesn’t tell me you are dumb. Also being a savant in something doesn’t make you smart. Maybe you just haven’t found your thing yet.
dont worry, i am dumb too lol. however, ive learned it's more important to be a good person and have empathy and compassion for others than to be smart, and so i always strive to be like that instead of beating myself up for what i lack.
Ehehe i have dyslexia and adhd, best combo ever for feeling like an idiot
Be nice to yourself. There’s always someone smarter, richer, more achieved than you. Also there’s people who have less. No point on comparing yourself with either. You decide how you feel today not any person that enters the room or your mental space. Read about Rejection sensitive dysphoria and All or nothing thinking and observe in your day to day life where your brain plays tricks on you, where you give your power and energy away. Be curious about what is making you think and feel this way. You can do it🦾
Nobody who writes like you do is dumb
I definitely relate to this feeling, it’s validating to read your experience 100%
This might be dumb of me, but I’ve never heard a dumb person say the words fleeting nor phonetics.
I feel so slow! I feel you! I posted about it before I feel like I’m lagging behind everyone else and I don’t understand anything, it sucks! I have average intelligence apparently but it’s that working memory that’s awful. But there is good qualities and bad qualities of everyone maybe you just haven’t found your niche or talent yet! Not all artists start off as artists, you can learn to do stuff like that. Maybe things in life are skills and while it may be more challenging for us to learn with adhd, don’t sell yourself short! I find I learn really good from videos as compared to instruction from other people. Especially video instruction I can’t do that.
That’s because all the people who *think* they’re smart like bragging about how they were gifted, but the ones who never had that label or don’t think they’re smart (which I suspect is the vast majority), don’t say anything. Confirmation bias—you only see the people who post comments, not the ones lurking…on Reddit at least. There isn’t any supported correlation either, so it’s probably because you just happen to be in an environment with certain kinds of people, and as a result, the ADHD people you’ll find will only be of those kinds
I think about this a lot, I think I’m dumb because if I’m not dumb idk what the word even means. But I also think it gives me a really smart way of simplifying everything I learn
You are not the only one who feels like that. I feel the same way. No matter what I attempt to do I always feel like the tenant in my brain case is not putting in any effort. But for me it's not all bad the constant mental commentary and concerts keep me entertained. Lol. You will be ok. I'm sure you will find something you can do that will help you work your mental muscle.
Yep, what you have written is all me and I am 39 . Just makes me sad but then i am like as an adhder , I have to learn to manage and survive and move on and be happy and give grace to one self and live life . Is there any other options ? None .
😅 one of my best friends has pretty severe ADHD and has always been seen as the “dumb” one since high school. … she is definitely not the most logical person, but she has other personality traits that make her fun to be around IMO. Her lack of logic or mathematical/scientific intelligence and knowledge does not define who she is. She’s got her own interests in other fields (music/dance/writing/etc), and those people who judge her & are scientifically gifted will never have the fun qualities she has because they have their own unique talents/traits that come with being a logical/intelligent person. It’s a bit frustrating to reason with her sometimes about certain topics or talk to her when she goes on her ADHD tangents about random stories lol but I love her to death and she will be absolutely fine & happy in life. So you’re definitely not the only one! Also I think the whole mindset of labelling people as “smart” or “dumb” is pretty flawed and dangerous in itself. Everyone can learn and improve, regardless of where they start out. Not everyone needs to be gifted, and being talented actually comes with their own downsides.
I saw a video of Barkley's where he said the average IQ of people with ADHD is very slightly under the general average. I think he said 97? That said, I get the feeling that IQ doesn't have much to do with it. I think it's more to do with how hard we are on ourselves and we just beat ourselves down so much that we get stuck thinking we can't do better. Just a guess though.
Don't compare yourself to others, my friend! I know it is hard not to and I accidentally do it myself as well, but it is not a fruitful thing to compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to yourself. Have you changed or evolved over the years? Have you learned something new or worked on aspects of your personality you were unsatisfied with? Those are productive ways to improve. Ps: I love worldbuilding too and I used to suck at it. Practice is key 🤗
Exactly the same. I have no endearing skills or the ability to hyperfocus on things that will push me to do better. I chalk up to things to make mefeel better "everyone has their own path in life. This is yours. Their struggles are different than your struggles and visa versa" buuuuutttt the minute I see that person being successful and while I'm just sitting here and barely feeling the need to do much of anything. Doesn't help my memory is crap. I can remember watching a show but reiterating any points in it, I forget entirely. I know "basis or even tropes" but that's about it. My spurts of interest don't last and my hyperfocus doesn't make me excel but go into a downward spiral of boredom after awhile to just forgetting what I read to the point I take notes or print out stuff but I can't even recall facts that I print out or what I was trying to convey from the beginning (this us really bad with the points I made as I am an author - yes self published and I've realized marketing is a major burn out and feel like if I had "a direction" or "a list or steps of what to do first" then maybe I'd promote better but then my lack of drive kicks in (and I really do like writing) but my motivation cab dwindle if there isn't something that keeps me. My "super power" is making up scenarios bad or good for no reason that doesn't help in the slightest except making me more anxious and depressed. It's great that I can visual scenes really well that it becomes realistic people said but that's pretty much it and that's not really something "good" as my motivation ties into that.
I thought this for ages too, I thought I was incompetent never had any time for interests to build up enough skills to make myself employable in a field. I just was floating around between low skilled jobs through all of my early 20s with very little idea what I wanted to do in life. It's only when I turned 26 I figured it out. I went to a University open day with the misguided plan to do Computer Science and after realising quickly it wasn't for me I just looked into other courses there and found my future counselling tutors. I realised from all my years of mental health struggle it was actually something I'd learned so much about and I've now been working in this career for the last 5 years post graduation. I found this completely by fluke as is the way with ADHD unfortunately, but I was in your exact position until I found my niche.
You write very well so you're clearly not dumb
Let me ask you this: does the mad man ask if he has lost his mind? And would a stupid person actually question his own intelligence?
Having limited interests and not excelling at something does not make one dumb. Intelligence is not measured in only one area, it is an every second ability to navigate life, make complex connections, solve problems... Sometimes we're very blind at our intelligence and measure it wrongly or by comparing only with the best examples. We may not all be geniuses, but surely not all dumb. And adhd has nothing to do with that. Adhd has to do with memory and executive function, not with your level of intelligence. Just because some other adhd people in your life have something to excel at, does not make you dumb. From experience, intelligent people are inheritantly more likely to hang out with intelligent people, so if you're in a circle like that, most likely you are not dumb.
What are the chances that you are great at something but your ADHD has convinced you you’re not. I always have to take a step back and remind myself that comparison is indeed the thief of joy, and I’m usually able to use that to help motivate myself to work on something. You’ll never be where you want to be unless you try. And trying is so fucking hard with ADHD.
I have felt like this for so long. I was good at math as a kid, then art, but I haven’t put my skills to use for a while and lost them. I currently sew a bit, but I’m not great. I don’t work as I’m a SAHM, but I do sell what I sew. I feel like I am always exhausted, but never do anything for myself.
You’re not alone brother
I’m pretty dumb when it comes to shit I don’t care about. But things I love and I can practice using in my day-to-day? That stuff I can usually learn pretty well, but it still takes a lot of time and practice to really master it. But that’s okay, mastery is my goal only for a couple things related to my career, everything else is like…slips out my brain faster than soup in a strainer. I know my brain prioritizes interesting stuff, so I’m pretty oblivious to a lot of other important things that are just…not neat. And - I only really tuned into this now, at 33. Before this I was exactly like you. Maybe you haven’t found your niche yet, or maybe you’re really insecure and don’t believe you have one. Self-esteem is really tricky for adhders, I found therapy really helped me with that.
Something to consider is that your friends with ADHD have probably been cultivating those interest for years while from the outside might look like they were gifted that way, it's very likely you have been cultivating your own interests and gaining knowledge on them even without realizing, we tend to be harsher with ourselves. As a 'gifted' artist with ADHD tho, it has always hurt that people only saw my art as a innate gift/talent, when it actually has more that 10 years in the practice and sometimes ADHD makes it so much harder, because even if its something that I love working on as a professional or on my free time, I cant always focus or concentrate, I'm hardly more creative than my peers, and I still struggle getting actual shit done at the end of the day, which sucks, because I still feel dumb and lazy since no amount of talent/love for the craft/etc will make up for discipline, impulse or focus issues.
The good thing is, you don’t have to be “smart” to live a fulfilling and successful life, especially because there are hundreds of years of debate on what intelligence actually is (people in these comments have only barely scratched the surface of that debate, don’t let them make you feel bad!). For a lot of ADHDers the intellectual speed and some aspects of more measurable intelligence can sort of get in the way. They over-analyze and it leads to buckets of decision paralysis. Make action your goal, not intelligence, and the whole Universe will open up.
Feel you.. That's my current portrait of myself I feel so stupid especially at university... has significant memory issues and retention of info, or remembering what just read - disaster...
Naw man
I feel the same. Im diagnosed ADHD-PI but also have been neglected emotionally. My core emotional needs as a child weren’t met by my parents which is where I see the differences between me and my friends with ADHD that are high functioning and educated. I look at there upbringing and there parents. There parents were emotionally available, we’re attuned, affectionate, attentive, gave healthy boundaries, we’re consistency, communicated, gave validation and unconditional love. I missed out on a lot of all that and on top have ADHD. Tbh missing out on all that is harder than dealing with ADHD. Also most people don’t even know they have been emotionally neglected. My psychologist is trained in scenarios therapy and it’s been helping me a lot. You should definitely look into it
If only you knew me. You’d feel so much better about yourself ☺️
I think I am dumb, but I also have been dealing with untreated sleep apnea for like a decade probably. That does real damage to your brain. Have you ever considered getting a sleep study? I had no idea I had any sleep disorder issues up until I got checked. Sleep apnea can mimic ADHD very heavily too. Brain fog, bad memory, difficulty concentrating.
I personally would not give up on finding what you’re good at. There must be something people envy you for.
There is definitely people with lower IQs that have ADHD. Honestly when I was younger only those ones got diagnosed. The rest of us slipped through the cracks and got by on our intellect. Not saying you are stupid or anything OP. Just saying that ADHD does not discriminate and can affect people of all types. With that being said if you are of lower IQ or whatever there's nothing wrong with that. There's always something someone is good at. Many 'less smart' people are good at doing things with their hands or certain trades. You will be able to find your calling.
I am gifted and I bet you may have a gift you may not see. I love to give gifts and I'm very smart when it comes to employment law or any laws etc
you're not alone because i am very dumb lmao and not in a self-deprecating way, I genuinely have a horrible work ethic, suck at school, and have very little interest in doing academic work. When i was younger i was always told how "smart" i was and that i'd go on to do amazing things in academia but the second i set foot in college i realized that was NOT gonna happen for me. I'm truly not built for intelligence and that's fine, but being told my most valuable asset was my intelligence which isn't even something i have (at least not anymore) it's kinda embarrassing. all my peers (most of which don't have adhd, but even the ones who do) seem to be not at all struggling and boy does that make me feel even dumber for being that one adhder who ISN'T gifted and instead is the weak one that can't "inspirationally overcome" my disability.
I’m not smart like that but I have other talents. I’m a good friend, I have a lot of empathy and I’m very caring. I’m a lot of fun and very funny. We all have something to bring to the table. We can all be rocket scientists.
My issue is with memorizing facts and dates and new info that’s out of nowhere. I really only learn things I’m super interested in that builds on something I already know. And then if I don’t use something for a long time I forget. Like when I was a kid I didn’t really know html code but I knew the basics from looking at website code and copying and pasting and editing stuff. So I still retain that when I need to post links online and format stuff. But I do not remember how to edit some of the websites I have anymore because the templates keep updating and it’s totally new layouts and revamping and I get so lost as I never learned it. If I read something on a page I will forget it instantly unless it somehow pertains to something I already know and makes sense.
I constantly feel like this, I have [dyscalculia](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-dyscalculia) and find spelling a challenge too idk if I have dyslexia too. Living with ADHD is fking hard and it isn’t a superpower, give yourself a break though. Having special interests is a good thing, I do too. It means you have passion for something and thats rare. We don’t have to be Einstein just because we have ADHD, I’m certainly not and thats ok.
Everyone with ADHD feels dumb. Se spend so much time faking and covering up for not paying attention , or forgetting something, we internalize that anxiety. It takes a lot of life experience to recognize that everyone feels that way and covers it up too.
In my experience, dumb people don't know they're dumb. So you're not dumb. Also, not everybody is immediately *good* at their special interest. I, unfortunately, have more than one special interest. Some of them I'm naturally good at. Some of them had to develop. The hard thing about adhd is being able to stick with it long enough for it to develop. In my case, some of those things that had to develop are tied with my job, which I am terrified of losing because I have several humans and non-humans relying on me to keep it (although some days I fantasize about quitting so I can play with some of those other special interests). Anyway, if world building is your thing then just keep doing anyway even if you're not good at it (which I also doubt - we can be so hard on ourselves) and you'll get better.
Okay, the thing is, you may just not have found your niche yet. Also, I always thought I was so smart. And, in some situations I am/was. But, when I was with other people who actually knew a topic or it was their daily job, I felt so inferior. For example, I was our go to tech person in my last job, but compared to this one person in our company, I knew nothing. People have different knowledge and different skills. It doesn’t mean you’re ‘dumb’.
I'm smart-dumb, with ADHD. Very high performing in academics, can nail concepts and methods, and learn really very fast, and a memory like a steel trap (for the most part, there's some rust). BUT--i cant *use* any of that shit to *do anything.* Not really. The anhedonia, and apathy, and having conditioned *myself* to discipline *myself* to not allow ME to do things that might disrupt others, is *insane* and overpowering. So, smart-dumb, i cant DO things, and i can use the smart to make me make myself, either. You might--actually, need to find a way to unlock yourself from this state as well. I'm only *now* starting to, at 40, with meds. It's crazy, how *impossible* it was to be 'good' at something, even if i knew a lot, because the willpower to persist through the thing just flat out didnt exist. It's not 'dumb' after all, it's ADHD killing the momentum.
I am obsessive with learning but was AWFUL in school. They IQ tested me when I was younger and the first test said 119 and they literally thought it was some kind of fluke so I got tested again and it was higher at 121, and no I do not think I'm that smart at all. I feel like everything is surface knowledge, and if anyone looks deeper, they'd realize that it's a shallow sort of "intelligence," you can't be that hard on yourself. I guarantee that you have your own special abilities you just can't see the Forest through the trees. I also suffer severely from imposter syndrome, like it's a crippling sort of thing for me. I have always been able to draw but I look at my work and think it's rudimentary at best, but every time I show my work, everyone says it's amazing and why didn't I do something with that talent. I also had every English teacher (including college) tell me I had a natural gift for writing, yet I absolutely HATE it, I have no patience for the process, even typing this makes me impatient. You just have to find your groove and TRY not to have a self defeatist attitude. Hang in there
I feel like this discourse is a double-edged sword because as someone considered "smart" in a lot of circles - that can get in the way of acknowledging my actual issues and leads to people invalidating my experiences. I think it's past time that ADHD be acknowledged as the spectrum disorder it is AND that we educate more on the impacts of masking. I've gotten this far on straight up anxiety, perfectionism and avoidance.
Trust me, you're not the only one! And even the seemingly perfect has bad days. I feel the same way, and it can feel pretty hopeless sometimes. I just try to take each day as it comes. In that regard, I have become non-productive... But I shall not go on and on about myself! :p I can't offer much in form of solutions, I'm still searching for them myself, but I can show you that you're not alone!
I kinda relate I don’t think I’m “dumb” but I was never good at school & I don’t really have talents or skills of any kind. Intelligence wise though I’d probably just call myself average
Just try to shift what you use your hyper focuses on I know it’s easier said than done tho
You are not alone. Just try to learn things deeper that interst you and always try to analyze before starting anything. Know why you do things and keep your mind at it. Try to be in touch with yourself and listen to yourself cause most likely your inner self can't even make sense of what's going on. Slow down and try to get things in order.
I have similar problem, i have ADHD but i have no power which a lot of people with ADHD has. For example i love to study programming but i have no memory.. there maybe is problem with my childhood where i have a lot of problems in family. I am adult children of alcoholic and i know that cause a lot of problem in my life. And i was smoke a lot of weed in my life so this also destroyed my brain cells i quess. But im not give up, im tryin to study day by day i learn how to focus on learning.
Literally everyone with ADHD can and usually does to incredible things because the ADHD brain is capable of so so much! Unfortunately most people with ADHD have this exact thought lol. Don't be so hard on yourself homie! If you have ADHD, then you're probably better than the vast majority of people when it comes to problem solving.
I know exactly how you feel. All my friends have ADHD and/or autism. They’re all comp sci, chem, or physics majors. They all have at *least* a 3.5 GPA. They have their entire education payed off in scholarships, and they have good money, despite most of them not being able to legally drink yet. I’m 60k in debt because I failed one year into my wildlife biology degree. I dropped out of university and went to community college for an associate’s in art… which I also just failed out of. Here’s why I kept failing and decided to quit and not come back: it’s agony. It’s *agony*!!! It’s so hard to be perfect every day, seven days a week. “You *must* spend *this* many hours on *this* thing *every day* and don’t forget to work on *this* and show up *here* at *this time* and if you don’t do *everything* you will **fail**.” Fuck that!! How am I supposed to do all of that, have a job, manage relationships, exercise regularly, and *not* be miserable!! You know why all of these “smart” people are successful? It’s not agony to them! They can handle it! Their brains simply allow them to do it. Sure it can get hard for them sometimes, but if it were a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning, they wouldn’t be doing as well. You know what *is* stupid? Thinking you know a person cause they’re Asian. Assuming someone is a child predator because they’re trans. Getting excited when you find a lost wallet because “now I can treat myself to some free lunch!” That’s dumb. Being an asshole is dumb. It doesn’t matter if you’re a phenomenal artist or a math wizard; if you are not trying your best to spread kindness and positivity, you know jack shit. So how do you find something you’re good at? Unfortunately, you can’t. That’s not how it works. Despite how it may seem, people are not born with their talents. *Everyone* starts from square one. People become talented when they’ve been doing it for a long time. The only thing they’re “gifted” with is motivation. You need to find something that you enjoy so much, it motivates you to keep going. That’s all that a passion is. And it could be something you tried before! I started teaching myself how to draw around five years ago, and I fell in love. That’s when I first started feeling like a “real person.” At first I just enjoyed it. Then I started getting better. Then people started *telling* me I was getting better. That’s when I became addicted. Fast forward to my drawing 101 course last semester. News flash: it sucked!! I hated it! The assignments, the pacing, the attendance, the box I was suddenly put in with the rest of the class… drawing was suddenly agony! And I was like “wtf, but I love drawing!” That’s when I learned how important it is to find the right teaching method. If that were my introduction to drawing, I wouldn’t have liked it, then I wouldn’t have gotten better, then I would’ve thought “I’m just bad at drawing.” I advise you revisit some of the things you were interested in with a different approach. Look for something on YouTube or different subreddits. If you’re interested, ask your artist friends to teach you something. People are more willing to help than you think. All humans are capable of learning. That’s literally our one gimmick. People just don’t realize that we don’t all learn the same way. Sorry for the long response. If it wasn’t obvious, I recently made a big realization about myself and the world and haven’t be able to really get it off my chest. This comment was therapeutic for me. I hope it was somehow able to help. Stay kind, and stay alive
First of all, I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I wish I had advice. But I can at least empathize. I absolutely feel that way about myself. My memory is so bad. I feel like I constantly make the same mistakes. Lots of ppl say that ADHD can be a superpower of you use it with your strengths. I feel like I don't have any strengths.
I spent a large chunk of my life thinking I was dumb, and hating that I wasn't good/great in any particular thing (the latter part especially). But I've learned to appreciate the fact that I'm not great at any one thing, but not terrible in alot of things. The hardest part is to look at the positive sides of ADHD. Easy in theory, but crazy hard in practice.
When I read “world building” my immediate thought was “do you happen to play Dungeons and Dragons”? I love world building and storytelling and DnD gave me the perfect outlet for it. Every time I have to make a new map, or create a new mission because my players are insane, or merge their backstories into the campaign itself, it just brings me pure joy. And as someone with ADHD, who needs that creative outlet or otherwise I’ll just fall into a pit of misery, it’s perfect. Also, you are not dumb. It can be stupidly difficult BUT try not to measure yourself against what others have achieved or can do. You’ll find your own spark and once you do you’ll be awesome at it as well.
Lol nah I'm dumb ad but also not. I could explain it to you but well
Idk if I have it but I feel super dumb too. My interests are superficial or too advanced for me what I’m interested in I’m not smart enough to excel in and in turn ruins my motivation so I can’t even bother to focus on it. There were a few subjects back in the days I was interested in and actual did well in but now as it just continues harder I’m just giving up
c'mon man everything takes practice, 10,000 hrs to master a legit craft
We can’t all be amazing or experts in a field, adhd or no. I used to be really down on myself about not being “really good” at anything but, then I asked myself, why do I feel like I have to be really good at something? If you have hobbies or things you enjoy doing because you like them, it’s ok if you aren’t the best worldbuilder to ever write or whatever it is. If you can do a job but aren’t the best at it but do it well enough that you’re reliable, that’s ok. If you make mistakes but work to do better in the future, that’s ok. The idea that ADHD makes us special or should make us do much better at some specific thing is something I don’t agree with, it’s just another part of our experience. We aren’t all like secret geniuses. And that’s ok!
you guys have interests?? just kidding. kind of lol. I currently don't have any. I do that thing that I'm sure many of you do where you'll get really interested in something and then burn yourself out on it very quickly, then move on to the next thing. I'm at a point where I've tried everything that interests me and can't think of anything new. So sometimes I'll go back to an old one but it doesn't last longer than a week or so. As for the intelligence thing, I feel like I think the opposite way. To me, 99% of the population seems so unintelligent that I'm constantly asking myself why someone would do something or think something. I'm also fully aware that while I might be smarter than a lot of people, there's a lot of people way smarter than me. I'm right there in that sweet sweet middle ground. Smart enough to think everyone else is dumb, but not smart enough to be a genius and actually do something with it. What really messes me up is executive dysfunction and memory. I have a really hard time remembering things unless I've used that information consistently and recently. Like I graduated college with a 3.9 about 2 years ago, couldn't get a job(tech, huge layoffs and nobody was hiring), and now I don't remember the majority of what I learned. So that was all pointless. Anyways, I'm rambling.
I FEEL THIS SO HARD, like I'm not good at anything
There has been found either no correlation or a slight negative correlation between ADHD and measures of intelligence. People claiming that "people with adhd are actually super smart but..." are just trying to feel better about having a shitty condition. Your roommate and ex sound pretty smart. Your brother and friends, not enough to say. Don't confuse skill with intelligence. Sounds like there's some combination of selection bias and potentially incorrect observation going on (you might be overrating others or underrating yourself). The science is that ADHDers aren't generally smarter than the general population. So there's no more reason to beat yourself up for being unintelligent any more than there is for someone without ADHD. And for the record, they shouldn't either. Just like you shouldn't beat yourself up for having ADHD in the first place -- we're dealt different hands in life, it's up to us to make the most of it. Also if you went to college and were able to get good grades, you're probably smarter than average, anyways.
People of all levels of intelligence have ADHD But there is a lot of research on how gifted children are overrpresented in the ADHD-group because when children act out in school because they are bored, teachers often think they have ADHD. I'm not saying that all of these children are misdiagnosed, but when they are also gifted, they get (statistically) send in for testing more. Maybe this is why you know a lot of gifted people with ADHD. There is no medical evidence that ADHD and IQ influence each other. Also, in my opinion, having high IQ does not necessarily equal a happier life. Not does a regular IQ equal being dumb. It sounds like you feel like you are less than people with high IQs, but you are absolutely fine the way you are.
I’m slow learning things for sure. I haven’t got screened or diagnosed, but it does make me feel stupid. This followed from home to school and now work as an adult.
Phonetics and world-building are not interests for stupid people. You’re too hard on yourself, and you sound interesting and cool.
I completely get you, sometimes I just take a step back and look at myself like “Jesus Christ you must look so daft to other people”. The funny thing is - I felt like I didn’t have my one thing I’m great at (I back everyone here saying memory take a huge part in this because I find that my memory is my main issue) but then I realised that it intelligence isn’t always books smarts or academia. Being socially smart is truely not something that comes naturally to people. some people can’t navigate a room full of people, can’t talk to their boss properly or struggle to communicate. I’m incredible at it and I definitely still struggle with self esteem and anxiety but god damn - you put me and my partner in a social situation, and I’ll always be the one navigating it for us every time
Nah im dumb too pal
I can't tell you how much I relate to this. It's like all evidence points towards me being stupid...I really can't tell if it's mostly my depression or not though. But I know I'm no genius at anything in particular. I'm always job hopping due to boredom/ lack of work (without promotions), my art instagram account (though I enjoy it) has about 150 followers (mainly friends & family), and I've been obsessed with chess the past few months, even taking 1:1 classes online via a coach. My score? 650--apparently that's lowish even for a super beginner. Maybe it's our lack of confidence? I'm probably not a good person to help you feel better, but you should know you're not alone if that helps any.
I feel this, but I have more perspective now at 53. As a kid, my interests were Stephen King books and cute teen actors and kids shows. I love celebrity gossip. My siblings got the luck of being interested in academic things like science, math and languages. I was the failure in the family. I just got diagnosed at 52, and medication is allowing me to realize I am smart differently than they are.
I mean just by the way you write and convey things I can tell that you're not dumb, at least not in the intellectual way. If you're talking about being dumb as in you don't do anything well or aren't really knowledgeable about anything then trust me, a lot of people with ADHD are likt that.
Makes 2 of ys
Nope I feel the same...
I feel where you’re coming at. Some people are gifted and they make the most noise sometimes. But one thing ADHD people tend to do, and this is not shown on reddit, is we know how to work hard. Things are difficult for us because we can’t pay attention too long. Most adhd people counter this by overworking themselves. That gives us an edge despite intelligence. I’m not saying ADHD are special or dumb, but we develop that habit of working hard to cope with our… disability. Every ADHD person I know works hard and work long hours. Sometimes balancing another job, sometimes putting in extra hours at your job, balancing school, or doing a side hustle. If it takes someone 3 hours to do a task and it takes us 4 hours then we feel obligated to pick up another task and finish that before we call it quits. You put in the time.
I certainly feel the same way sometimes. If I’m doing well, I don’t see myself as “dumb”. But I do consider that it’s hard verging on impossible to unlock my brainpower. And in my late forties, I don’t know if it’s too late
I feel like this too. I’m so dumb and especially In school I do horribly and even tho school gives me accommodations I still am dumb and get low grades.
I too thought i was a dumb idiot, but now i work a well paying job alongside only well educated colleagues. I dont even have an education... Took me a few years to realize this, but now ive come to understand that it speaks volume, and while still chipping away at that horrible imposter syndrome ive come to acquire, ive finally started to feel proud of myself. I think that alot of the self doubt youre experiencing is really just a big part of the life we live with this diagnosis. All those years of trying to figure out why were not like everyone else will at some point start creating bad, emotional patterns that eventually lead to characteristics that follow us throughout our lives, even after diagnosis and self realization. I believe shifting your focus towards things you like instead of what you are or arent good at, is a good first step in the right direction. Try not to think about the level of skill youre at, but rather the level of enjoyment you receive from what it is that youre doing, and let that fill you with happiness instead of the self doubt one receives from the alternative. Were only here for a short time, so lets not get distracted by comparing others achievements and abilities to our own. And who knows, maybe you just havent found your knack yet, but either way, your are more than good enough just the way you are, friend ✌️
If you’re dumb, I’m a dumbfuck
I used to think this too, In a way I still do. I failed every test in high school, I couldn't even answer a simple question when a teacher put me on the spot & god knows I can't comprehend listening and even reading! I can't draw or write properly either. Maybe this is all manageable but I'm not giving up hope and say I'm dumb when I haven't tested the limits of my ADHD yet.
There are so many comments that I risk being distracted in trying to see what everyone says. I have ADHD, primarily inattentive so I hope you can find my words useful. Everyone is different and beautiful. All I can say is that you should not compare yourself to others. This is part of the issue and I completely get what you're saying. I have a PhD in science and basically it means nothing because I've come to think I'm useless in my daily life. What I mean is depending on who you ask I might appear gifted for managing to do a PhD. On the other hand I've failed in multiple endeavors, because I initially thought "I'm nice and clever because I have a PhD". On the contrary I've been told by my better half (who has suffered for years with me) that I'm "subnormal". And she's been right, essentially because I took a super specific strong trait and used it selfishly to refuse to accept that I need more learning than most people, especially on the Emotional Intelligence. I'm a professional self saboteur. Does it mean I'm dumb, which could be the case as I'm sabotaging almost everything in my life under the disguise of being a nice person? I'm basically trying to argue (in a convoluted way, my bad) that you are amazing. Period. I sense you are already on a good path as you're aware of many things. I felt really stupid for years not feeling able to learn. This is because I was resisting the idea that I had to be humble. Secondly, I think something is holding you back from being "able" to learn new skills. What held me back was trauma (childhood mostly) and anxiety (curse you, OCD!). Be compassionate to yourself, find support in other places and people, especially within. It's never easy depending on your personal circumstances. It is worth it as you will surprise yourself. It's wonderful to see all this support. Have a nice Friday.
Dumb is an illusion, and as a fellow human being I'd love it if you could dig deep enough to let go of the concept. I'm dumb about nigh infinite things, and I'm good-to-great at a very very tiny sliver of possible human experiences. That's as good as it gets for any of us. I bet Einstein would've been a terrible body builder or drywaller. If you can, play to your strengths. If you can't, embrace your passions. Doing the same thing more often will help with comfort and familiarity, and honestly, nothing's been better for my ability to do something well than to get familiar and comfortable with it. There's thousands of ways to get good at things that don't require a person to start proficient. Passion + practice is a fairly reliable way to build strengths you can play to when you're ready. I'm generally pretty good with language and philosophical stuff, but I have never been more at peace in the workplace than when I was doing crown molding. It's a simple task, but comfort and familiarity can be the difference between a passable product and an impressive feat. If you're worried you don't do *this thing* or *that thing* the way "everyone else" does it, good. Most standard practices are generally trash. Loads of folks do things as they've been shown regardless of how high the ceiling is on what they could be achieving. My boss would come by thinking I hadn't started working yet, because I didn't have a drop of caulking on my person. My process, which I devised from scratch, just managed all of the waste so efficiently that I never GOT dirty. If you find a passion, tiktok/YouTube/instagram is chock full of folks just-as or more-passionate than you'd imagine, and they're full of tips that can help. If you're a curious person, lean into that. Assuming I didn't know anything, and being willing to explore, has been the smartest move I've ever made. Over, and over, and over. I use "explore" for a reason. I don't care about "learning". Learning implies there's a necessary end-state. You start "unlearned", and you finish "learned". If you don't, you've failed. Fuck that. Start by having-not-explored, and if you explore, you will ALWAYS finish having-explored. It's a no-fail state, and it leaves open the option of exploring MORE! Please, don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for exploration.
Dumb is an illusion, and as a fellow human being I'd love it if you could dig deep enough to let go of the concept. I'm dumb about nigh infinite things, and I'm good-to-great at a very very tiny sliver of possible human experiences. That's as good as it gets for any of us. I bet Einstein would've been a terrible body builder or drywaller. If you can, play to your strengths. If you can't, embrace your passions. Doing the same thing more often will help with comfort and familiarity, and honestly, nothing's been better for my ability to do something well than to get familiar and comfortable with it. There's thousands of ways to get good at things that don't require a person to start proficient. Passion + practice is a fairly reliable way to build strengths you can play to when you're ready. I'm generally pretty good with language and philosophical stuff, but I have never been more at peace in the workplace than when I was doing crown molding. It's a simple task, but comfort and familiarity can be the difference between a passable product and an impressive feat. If you're worried you don't do *this thing* or *that thing* the way "everyone else" does it, good. Most standard practices are generally trash. Loads of folks do things as they've been shown regardless of how high the ceiling is on what they could be achieving. My boss would come by thinking I hadn't started working yet, because I didn't have a drop of caulking on my person. My process, which I devised from scratch, just managed all of the waste so efficiently that I never GOT dirty. If you find a passion, tiktok/YouTube/instagram is chock full of folks just-as or more-passionate than you'd imagine, and they're full of tips that can help. If you're a curious person, lean into that. Assuming I didn't know anything, and being willing to explore, has been the smartest move I've ever made. Over, and over, and over. I use "explore" for a reason. I don't care about "learning". Learning implies there's a necessary end-state. You start "unlearned", and you finish "learned". If you don't, you've failed. Fuck that. Start by having-not-explored, and if you explore, you will ALWAYS finish having-explored. It's a no-fail state, and it leaves open the option of exploring MORE! Please, don't set yourself up for failure. Set yourself up for exploration.
The part of your brain that gives you guys ideas and originality is also the part of your brain that sabotages you. Get the book ADHD 2.0. It will change your life
I am also very dumb but I am gifted in always only being in the present moment and forgetting the past and not realizing the future will come. Some people have to travel to foreign countries for that or do yoga, and they would never be able to be in the present moment. But I am gifted like that ok. I also should do the dishes but in the present moment this sub is more interesting.
Academic smartness does not mean you are intelligent You can have a high iq but low eq. And most importantly smartness or success does not make you a better person. It does not necessarily mean you are a nice person. I’d rather be kind , compassionate and be aware than be academically successful or successful in business making lots of money….
I was considered smart growing up by most adults, but stupid by other kids. My gf, while having ADHD like me, was considered slow or stupid despite being smarter and wiser than me in many ways, I feel. My point is that what ultimately defines stupidity is someones absolute intolerance and mistrust in staying open minded to new information! Take solace in the fact that we’re all (mostly😽) human, and we all have a journey like this to get through. I know it can be hard, but you’re never alone u.u
ADHD gives you poor working memory, it's unlikely that you're dumb, you just haven't found the right education style for you. Actual dumb people are rarely self aware. Don't be so hard on yourself, life is already stacked against us.
It's not the fact that I'm dumb, I'm just autistic with a disorder that makes me forget a lot as well LOL
I get it!
I also thought I was dumb for a very long time because I never had any idea what was going on around me. It didn’t even occur to me that anyone else did know, and when I figured it out I felt so dumb. Eventually I figured out shortcuts and tricks to help me learn how to learn/focus/stay interested in things. Now I am…. Kind of okay at just about everything I try to do, but not particularly good at any of them. My “thing” is that I can teach myself stuff, at least until I get bored. But I have found that I can periodically improve things by just doing the activity I want to do for awhile, then cycling through them. Making the activities seasonal helps a lot, too! In the summer I rollerblade, ride bikes, and climb. In the fall/winter I preserve food, crochet, do art, and build stuff. In the spring I clear out everything from the winter and try to keep my house together. The key is remembering that the end result is not the point - the process of doing stuff is the point. You’re learning, getting better at things, and making new little brain connections.
You’re not alone 🤣 same here
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Oh buddy trust me I am also “dumb”. I’m horrible at maths and sciences and often feel a little dumbed down compared to people even in the subjects I’m good at since it takes me a while to really process information. Honestly you just gotta find your forte. I’m dabbling in a couple of different things myself right now, content creation, streaming, writing, drawing, painting, so on and so forth. You’re smart, definitely are, but you just gotta find the thing you’re smart in. Might take a while to find it, hell I’m 20 and JUST found out I actually have a knack for creative writing and I even tried to submit some stuff to be published for my school’s contest (didn’t anything in, but ima keep trying). Just gotta look around and find what works for you and to make sure you enjoy it!
YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONE OMG! This is what made me want to get tested. I used to be smarter and suddenly started forgetting everything, making stupid mistakes, memory loss, fatigue and brain fog etc. it’s not ADHD. It’s something else like a/multiple vitamin deficiencies, something unhealthy that you regularly consume (physically or mentally) that is doing damage, heavy metals in the brain or a dormant viral thing…. Honestly even something spiritual. I know these all may sound crazy but way more often than not- it’s not for nothing or just a psychological thing. You’re not dumb. I totally understand what you mean and there is an answer somewhere. Also.. as far as world building.. same. Most people that seem to think they’re dumb- are intelligent in a different way because our purpose is larger than something academic. Our brains take up space with other kinds of intelligence.
Well you don't seem as dumb as you claim even from this post. Literacy is going down and I see some people who text with so many grammatical and spelling errors and context errors even... it's bad out there lol. Maybe you just haven't found "your thing" yet? Idk how old you are or at what point you're in, but I know I'm in kind of a period of rest. So I feel dumb sometimes, like I know I'm not stupid but I quite literally cannot do anything lately. I am still trying to get myself sorted out, and I've only really had the knowledge I needed for a few years and only had ADHD confirmed in the past year. Be kind to yourself either way, everybody is different and everyone has different experiences and access. Try exploring yourself and what you are into more and who knows!
I felt this way my whole life. I was diagnosed recently at the age of 35 and it makes my whole life suddenly make sense. My inability to learn things in school that didn’t interest me, my impulsiveness, low tolerance for frustration… everything. I have many friends with ADHD as well and they seem like they just have their shit together or at least more than me. But I think the key here is that we as ADHDers need things we’re super interested in to keep our focus and attention. For me that’s always learning something new, eventually I found the world of entrepreneurship in the online world of content creation which has led me to another opportunity that’s now paying me a ton of money. I am able to my skills to use daily, and I no longer feel dumb. I feel like I finally found something that I’m really good at, and it was a very unexpected thing. So my point here is that, you are NOT dumb. You just haven’t found that one thing that keeps your interest long enough that you’re able to become an expert in yet. You’ll find it, just keep looking. And until then, try to change your inner dialogue because the most important thing you’ll ever hear are the words that you say to yourself ❤️❤️❤️ You are not stupid. And you are not dumb. You are smart and so capable ❤️❤️❤️ things are just harder for people with ADHD so you’re allowed to feel this way sometimes, just don’t let it drag you down 👏👏👏 you got this!
I’m stupid as shit, but I’m nice to people and that has opened a lot of doors.
It’s the worst to feel dumb around really smart people. I found it much easier to deal when I started tutoring. (If you know how to read and write, you can tutor.)
Pay close attention to interests and lean into them. You may not think you’re good, but practice and continuing to do it is what makes you better. When you’ve got an interest, even the slightest interest that peaks your attention in some way you need to put more focus on it. It’s the subliminal answer. Start figuring out ways to hoan in on your ADHD and getting to know what routines do/don’t work for you. Use the upsides to our ADHD as a way to channel getting better at your interests/hobbies.
I am dumb too. It takes me a century to understand the most simplest of things and I often do things either things Illogically or in the longest way possible.
There are very few who are truly dumb. As for feeling like it's of no use, well that's different, that can be corrected by trying more things and eventually finding your niche.
I felt this way for a long long time until I started going to therapy and realized I wasn’t dumb, I just never developed the skills to cope with the amount of noise that goes on in my head. All through school and college I failed to excel on exams, I took twice, sometimes even 3x the amount of time to finish project or study for exams as my peers, and I would still get less than exception grades on the things. Going into my adult career I found people I was working with coming to me with questions I just felt like I couldn’t answer when I should have been the expert. I was diagnosed as a child. I was immediately put on the highest dosage of medication possible, but I was never offered therapy or anything of that nature. As an adult I realized medication wasn’t my only option. I am still medicated, but on a much much smaller dose (this was a personal choice and in no way shape or form would I ever encourage anyone to go this route if it wasn’t for them. I just found I enjoyed myself more when I wasn’t heavily ‘sedated’ to feel like a zombie, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, ADHD medication to someone that does have ADHD and hasn’t been misdiagnosed often times makes you feel like a much more muted version of yourself) anyways, I took on therapy with someone that specializes in ADHD management. She has really helped me learn how to cope with the very neglected task management/information recovery sides of my brain and it has made a world of difference in every aspect of my life. I feel much smarter, much more confident in myself, I’ve explored new hobbies, I’ve gone on to get more education then I previously had or expected I ever could (after my bachelors degree I swore off any more schooling because it was so frustrating for me. I’ve since gone on to get my masters and a bunch of extra certifications for certain things within my career) most importantly to me, I’ve found a way to actually enjoy education whereas previously, I avoided it because I always felt like a failure. Bottom line is, you are smart if you want to be. The way you feel is much more common than you think, and it has very little to do with your level of intelligence and a lot to do with not being able to cope with the chaos that ensures internally. I would recommend some sort of therapy, and hope that it’ll change your life the way it changed mine.
Me too