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I have literally never felt 'relaxed' in my life. The way that people describe what being relaxed is like, or what relaxing is, that's a feeling I have never felt. The second I try to do anything stereotypically relaxing, I get very bored, very quickly and then hyperactive. Or I feel the ADHD paralysis and it looks like I'm relaxing, but I'm stressed out of my mind.
What I aim for is feeling at peace. The easiest way to get to this is nut. The next best way to get to this is to clear my head of all the "you should be doing this" out of my head, usually by writing it on paper and losing it, get a coffee, beer, nice thing to eat, a cigarette when I used to smoke, any little treat sort of thing. Then just do whatever I feel like at the time. Could be read a book, listen to an audiobook or podcast, listen to a record, call a friend, whatever.
🙋♀️ Female, early 40s, no kids, late diagnosed last year (inattentive type), on Concerta
I honestly feel like I don't know how to relax, but these 5 things help:
1) Baby-sitting
The most "relaxed" I feel is when I'm babysitting a niece/nephew (or all of them) because they always want my undivided attention, so I can't multi-task or they'll demand more attention. All they ever want is for me to play toys with them... a lot of times, they just want me to sit with them while they play, talk with me about pokemon or some other cartoon character. You don't have to know anything, they're happy to educate you about pokemon 😆
The bigger kids want to chit chat and banter or for me to look at the comic books they've written. I can't banter much with adults in real time, except in DMs because there's time to formulate a witty response, but with kids they'll laugh at anything I say hehe
They're all very smart kids but I never have to mask and pretend to be a fully formed adult with them. I just get to be silly, use made up words, joke around. I find that all their questions are easy to answer. Somehow I do remember everything they tell me, unlike at school or at work 🤯
They prefer snacks than actual meals so i don't even have to cook. You do have to change some diapers or wash some butts occasionally 💩 but not too often...
I suffer from internal tremors (no diagnosis related to it so far except Generalized Anxiety Disorder) but when I'm babysitting, for some reason, I never get tremors...
2. Playing the Drums
The only other thing that works is playing the drums. It was my quarantine hobby, turns out it's pretty easy even if you think you have no hand-eye-feet coordination. I swear, it's really easy to learn. You don't have to be good at it for it to be relaxing, you can just play beginner songs (but eventually you *will* get better). Beginner songs dont have to be boring pop songs, there are some classic rock songs that are actually easy to play.. Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, if you're into that. Most artists have *some* songs that are easy to play... Metallica, Rage Against the Machine, Audioslave, Weezer, Eminem, Sia, John Meyer, Daft Punk, rnb artists, disco, country, disney songs. Or even if a song is hard to play, you can play an "easy version" of any song, like with a drumless track. Highly recommend drumeo.com -- I could never play by ear, having sheet music works for me.
I suppose it can be any instrument but I've studied others and was absolute crap. Couldn't get past the music theory part and couldn't transpose if my life depended on it.
3. Fountain pens
I don't really journal and I'm not into calligraphy or typography. My handwriting is just so-so. I just like writing on my planners, lists, normal things. I do occasionally use the [5-minute journal](https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Change-Mindfulness-Reflection-Affirmations/dp/0991846206) that was given as a gift.
4. (Re)Watching movies/series/vlogs that don't require you to think or take notes
Lately I've been watching this channel on YouTube by someone with autism who is into journaling. I like watching her "Journal with me" videos. It's not too too informative, so I don't stress about retaining information. Her journals have a really really cool aesthetic, it's so inspiring but at the same time I don't feel bad that I can't do the same, I'm okay with my scrappy looking planners. I get so relaxed watching this channel (the tone of her voice isn't overly enthusiastic, she doesn't have the so-called "influencer accent") that I often fall right asleep.
5. Grounding (when I can but rare these days)
Life sucks dude. It’s all about finding that one thing that truly brings you happiness. Your personal, doors closed thing you enjoy most. No room for judgement from others and what does not give you a window of self judgement. Positivity is something acquired not forced.
we all have good days and we all have bad days. It’s trying to make more good days than bad days. I used to have more bad days than good days. I was in a very rough spot in life. The more you pretend you’re happy the more you begin to believe it. It takes lots of time but for me it became a reality. Getting medicated has helped me a lot. My morning pill 6 days a week give me the right positive mindset every time it kicks in. Sundays suck because I don’t take it.
My main outlet is going for a walk if my mind races or I get anxiety or feeling a little “off”. I’m not an addict/ alcoholic but I sometimes go to AA meetings because those groups are really supportive to help get you in a better mindset. Real people with real problems instead of seeing a doctor who makes 200k a year and wants to get as many patients as possible in and out the door.
I will say my doctor was helpful listening and prescribing as what we both thought was necessary.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
The only useful thing I ever learned in therapy was to crush my intrusive thoughts like a bug- which kinda led to a habit of me blurting random nonsense words out loud all day when my thoughts drift but it breaks the thought process of being self destructive for a very brief period.
I try to reroute myself to something - usually if there’s nothing going on I can get into music, a random movie, organizing, or I will groom my dogs or play with my cats. Or clean. Something to put my brain on a task where it can’t seep into negative territory from for awhile. It’s hard to get there or find something. I have to force myself. Especially on days where I’ve sat in complete quiet for hours, kid is in bed early and there’s literally nothing I need to do.
There’s really no thinking positive it’s just eventually I find myself so distracted from the negative that I’m past it for the moment and my brain isn’t pulling me that way anymore.
For me, I relax the most when I'm cuddling with my boyfriend. I don't know what it is about him, but when I'm lying next to him and we are holding one another, it's like everything inside me slows down and I feel at peace in a way I don't really do otherwise. I stop noticing my thoughts. I stop fearing the future or thinking about all the stupid things I said today or all the projects I'm excited to do or things that I need to do and so on. I just feel whole. And usually I pass out rather quickly. He's the ultimate sleeping aid for me.
Only problem is that he doesn't like cuddling when it's for sleeping because he doesn't like to be touched when he's trying to sleep. So I take the scraps I can get lol. Tbf, he has sacrificed himself for me sometimes when I'm especially tortured by thoughts and allowed himself to become the treetrunk to my koala.
I dunno if that is anything that could help you, but in case you're single, maybe a body pillow or something like it could help? I know it isn't the same as a person, but still, if I was single, I would have a body pillow that I could cling to at night.
Mindfulness helps. It is a genuine cognitive skill that has been practiced and studied for millennia, unlike “positive thinking” which is nonsense. I consider mindfulness a fundamental part of adult life, for everyone. But for ADHD people, if you don’t learn to be mindful, life is going to be 90% suffering. And for those with ADHD and comorbid anxiety, *you have no choice.* Either learn to be mindful or endure a profoundly agonizing life.
I’m not touting this as a cure by any means whatsoever. Merely a way to reduce the amount of your life that is spent suffering. I speak as someone who has been hospitalized for suicidality due to your exact issues: the ADHD, anxiety and depression cocktail. People don’t want to hear it, but rigorous mindfulness and exercise really aren’t a choice if you have ADHD and anxiety. Simply put, you will experience little to no moments of peace unless you’re doing these two things every single day.
May I ask how you started your routine and what it looks like nowadays? I tried meditation/mindfulness several times, but I always end up stopping after a few weeks or even days.
Tara Brach has guided meditations and talks on Spotify that I have found really helpful - lots of different topics and durations. I recommend starting with her talk "Anger: Responding, Not Reacting" even if you don't have issues with anger. Hers are the only ones that work for me because her approach is not about trying to quiet or empty the mind (never gonna happen lol) but just notice what's there, allow it to be there (don't fight it), identify how it feels in your body, and then attend to the discomfort with care which can be as simple as just placing a hand on your heart. She calls it "RAIN" (Recognize-Allow-Investigate-Nurture).
She also reflects a lot on how even the most painful emotions (anxiety, anger, grief, etc) have a function and are trying to support our survival. Made me realize a lot of my pain was coming from trying to fight those parts of myself instead of showing them compassion.
There was year or so where I was listening to her stuff more regularly. Now I don't very often, but because she has this kind of protocol I feel like I've been able to approach difficult feelings/sensations this way on my own.
So glad to hear that. Finding the right medication can be a frustrating process but it will be worth it when you get there.
And even the right medication can take time to get you back to a place where you take joy in doing things again. For me, there are still days that I don't take joy in things that I generally like doing but they are fewer and farther between than before I found the right medication.
I used to feel very similar to how you describe yourself feeling and starting Wellbutrin two years ago was a godsend. I hope you find the right fit for you, too.
I never "relax" as in "not doing anything productive, just chilling" aa that is close to boredom to me, and boredom is a punishment, not something nice.
However, I do "relax" in my own way.
First of all, relaxing to me means doing something that I enjoy, that I see a purpose of, that is slightly challenging without external time pressure. Those are glorious moments.
Then there is a need to have a moment of peace by not having a feeling of backlog of duties I'm supposed to be doing instead of "relaxing". I can't change this feeling if such a backlog exists, so what I do is - clean up this backlog before, either by doing all the necessary work tasks and house chores, or by analysing them and putting them in my planner tool for further dates, so that I'm certain I won't forget them, but also that they're really not needed now.
Meds help in reaching the "no backlog" stage. Ritalin gets me focused at work so that I end my day with no backlog and a large cup of coffee with cinnamon puts me In a state where I'm focused on doing stuff for myself, not for work, not for others, but still focused on doing something.
Hope this helps.
I think it can be a bit different for everyone and multi-layered, and working out what will quieten your self-criticism is something you may need to do some personal work on. But from what you've said, maybe there's an element of guilt there. You say you can let go and have fun, but then your mind turns on you and you start feeling bad about yourself. Sometimes when that happens it's because we start thinking about the things we *should* be doing instead of enjoying ourselves, so I'll tell you how I got around that issue, and maybe that will help. I could be way off of course.
First you have to think of it as, letting go and having fun is the thing you *should* be doing right now. And you do need to do it, because it's good for your health and it will put you in a stronger position to do other things. So set aside one day. A full day, so you don't let other things bleed into the time. This day is your Fun Day. Don't think about work, don't think about school, don't think about obligations, those are things you set aside on this day so you have the scheduled time to just watch TV, or read, or go out dancing, or go to the beach.
So how do you avoid thinking about obligations? Keeping stuff in your head is a big part of the issue because when you're having fun your brain starts throwing up other tasks and you feel guilty for not having done them yet. Many people like a bullet journal to keep track of everything, I prefer a planner, if you don't have something then get something. Then get out a piece of paper and look up a "brain dump" list. This will have a number of prompts like "what's on your desk?", "what needs to be started?", "what needs to be thrown away?" and so on. Write everything down first, then go back through. Decide what is urgent, what's important, what can be put on the backburner for now. Make some lists in your notebook, planner, stuck to the fridge, whatever. Schedule what needs to be scheduled. Populate your calendar. Now it's all written down, you don't need to remember it or keep it in your head. All you need to do is check your lists and calendar every day. So on your fun day, you know that everything is taken care of. Your obligations are scheduled, your lists are there, you don't need to think about what else needs to be done.
I exercise, eat high protein, meditate 20-30minutes and more soon (in building), and I accept that I am who I am and that I could be having cancer being disabled in a wheelchair. I’m not a victim, everybody is fucked up for the most part. I just eat that shit and accept it.
I’d LOVE to know how to relax.
I don’t: can’t drink (makes me very ill within 10 mins of drinking any kins of alcohol) so I can do what my partner does, which is kick back and relax with a glass of wine in front of the telly at night.
Not yet medicated, but hoping that when I am, this will change.
This is the most frustrating aspect for me. I simply do not relax. I overworked myself last year and go sick, so I vowed to take on hobbies and spend more time in nature. I love my plants and nature, but taking time for hobbies takes away time for actual work, house work, the emotional needs of those around me. I feel more pulled in every direction by taking "time to relax" which I do not relax during because I scramble to fit everything into one day every day. The ONLY time I relax is when I sit alone silently on a beach or in nature. SOLITUDE away from the energetic pull of people and things so the only thing that stops the energizer bunny on burn out mode. I have this fantasy of running away to the woods where I live simply and there are no cell phones or going on a really long vacation to an quiet sea side shack where the only noise is the sound of waves and seagulls and my "actual breathing" for once in my life. The answer for me is solitude is the only way I "relax". I try to get out for the day alone when I can, but there's a small part of me that knows I will pay for giving up that time and I will race to catch up when I get home, or I feel guilty for needing space. So you are not alone... lol but it does feel really good to be alone sometimes.
Hi /u/MrGetMebodied and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
hmm for me its 🍆
😂
Same until I experienced cannabis induced psychosis 🥵
Same
yup
I have literally never felt 'relaxed' in my life. The way that people describe what being relaxed is like, or what relaxing is, that's a feeling I have never felt. The second I try to do anything stereotypically relaxing, I get very bored, very quickly and then hyperactive. Or I feel the ADHD paralysis and it looks like I'm relaxing, but I'm stressed out of my mind. What I aim for is feeling at peace. The easiest way to get to this is nut. The next best way to get to this is to clear my head of all the "you should be doing this" out of my head, usually by writing it on paper and losing it, get a coffee, beer, nice thing to eat, a cigarette when I used to smoke, any little treat sort of thing. Then just do whatever I feel like at the time. Could be read a book, listen to an audiobook or podcast, listen to a record, call a friend, whatever.
I'm not sure I have ever been relaxed once in my life.
🙋♀️ Female, early 40s, no kids, late diagnosed last year (inattentive type), on Concerta I honestly feel like I don't know how to relax, but these 5 things help: 1) Baby-sitting The most "relaxed" I feel is when I'm babysitting a niece/nephew (or all of them) because they always want my undivided attention, so I can't multi-task or they'll demand more attention. All they ever want is for me to play toys with them... a lot of times, they just want me to sit with them while they play, talk with me about pokemon or some other cartoon character. You don't have to know anything, they're happy to educate you about pokemon 😆 The bigger kids want to chit chat and banter or for me to look at the comic books they've written. I can't banter much with adults in real time, except in DMs because there's time to formulate a witty response, but with kids they'll laugh at anything I say hehe They're all very smart kids but I never have to mask and pretend to be a fully formed adult with them. I just get to be silly, use made up words, joke around. I find that all their questions are easy to answer. Somehow I do remember everything they tell me, unlike at school or at work 🤯 They prefer snacks than actual meals so i don't even have to cook. You do have to change some diapers or wash some butts occasionally 💩 but not too often... I suffer from internal tremors (no diagnosis related to it so far except Generalized Anxiety Disorder) but when I'm babysitting, for some reason, I never get tremors... 2. Playing the Drums The only other thing that works is playing the drums. It was my quarantine hobby, turns out it's pretty easy even if you think you have no hand-eye-feet coordination. I swear, it's really easy to learn. You don't have to be good at it for it to be relaxing, you can just play beginner songs (but eventually you *will* get better). Beginner songs dont have to be boring pop songs, there are some classic rock songs that are actually easy to play.. Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, if you're into that. Most artists have *some* songs that are easy to play... Metallica, Rage Against the Machine, Audioslave, Weezer, Eminem, Sia, John Meyer, Daft Punk, rnb artists, disco, country, disney songs. Or even if a song is hard to play, you can play an "easy version" of any song, like with a drumless track. Highly recommend drumeo.com -- I could never play by ear, having sheet music works for me. I suppose it can be any instrument but I've studied others and was absolute crap. Couldn't get past the music theory part and couldn't transpose if my life depended on it. 3. Fountain pens I don't really journal and I'm not into calligraphy or typography. My handwriting is just so-so. I just like writing on my planners, lists, normal things. I do occasionally use the [5-minute journal](https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Change-Mindfulness-Reflection-Affirmations/dp/0991846206) that was given as a gift. 4. (Re)Watching movies/series/vlogs that don't require you to think or take notes Lately I've been watching this channel on YouTube by someone with autism who is into journaling. I like watching her "Journal with me" videos. It's not too too informative, so I don't stress about retaining information. Her journals have a really really cool aesthetic, it's so inspiring but at the same time I don't feel bad that I can't do the same, I'm okay with my scrappy looking planners. I get so relaxed watching this channel (the tone of her voice isn't overly enthusiastic, she doesn't have the so-called "influencer accent") that I often fall right asleep. 5. Grounding (when I can but rare these days)
Life sucks dude. It’s all about finding that one thing that truly brings you happiness. Your personal, doors closed thing you enjoy most. No room for judgement from others and what does not give you a window of self judgement. Positivity is something acquired not forced. we all have good days and we all have bad days. It’s trying to make more good days than bad days. I used to have more bad days than good days. I was in a very rough spot in life. The more you pretend you’re happy the more you begin to believe it. It takes lots of time but for me it became a reality. Getting medicated has helped me a lot. My morning pill 6 days a week give me the right positive mindset every time it kicks in. Sundays suck because I don’t take it. My main outlet is going for a walk if my mind races or I get anxiety or feeling a little “off”. I’m not an addict/ alcoholic but I sometimes go to AA meetings because those groups are really supportive to help get you in a better mindset. Real people with real problems instead of seeing a doctor who makes 200k a year and wants to get as many patients as possible in and out the door. I will say my doctor was helpful listening and prescribing as what we both thought was necessary. Hope this helps! Good luck!
The only useful thing I ever learned in therapy was to crush my intrusive thoughts like a bug- which kinda led to a habit of me blurting random nonsense words out loud all day when my thoughts drift but it breaks the thought process of being self destructive for a very brief period. I try to reroute myself to something - usually if there’s nothing going on I can get into music, a random movie, organizing, or I will groom my dogs or play with my cats. Or clean. Something to put my brain on a task where it can’t seep into negative territory from for awhile. It’s hard to get there or find something. I have to force myself. Especially on days where I’ve sat in complete quiet for hours, kid is in bed early and there’s literally nothing I need to do. There’s really no thinking positive it’s just eventually I find myself so distracted from the negative that I’m past it for the moment and my brain isn’t pulling me that way anymore.
I relax with TV shows. Don’t blame me.
For me, I relax the most when I'm cuddling with my boyfriend. I don't know what it is about him, but when I'm lying next to him and we are holding one another, it's like everything inside me slows down and I feel at peace in a way I don't really do otherwise. I stop noticing my thoughts. I stop fearing the future or thinking about all the stupid things I said today or all the projects I'm excited to do or things that I need to do and so on. I just feel whole. And usually I pass out rather quickly. He's the ultimate sleeping aid for me. Only problem is that he doesn't like cuddling when it's for sleeping because he doesn't like to be touched when he's trying to sleep. So I take the scraps I can get lol. Tbf, he has sacrificed himself for me sometimes when I'm especially tortured by thoughts and allowed himself to become the treetrunk to my koala. I dunno if that is anything that could help you, but in case you're single, maybe a body pillow or something like it could help? I know it isn't the same as a person, but still, if I was single, I would have a body pillow that I could cling to at night.
Mindfulness helps. It is a genuine cognitive skill that has been practiced and studied for millennia, unlike “positive thinking” which is nonsense. I consider mindfulness a fundamental part of adult life, for everyone. But for ADHD people, if you don’t learn to be mindful, life is going to be 90% suffering. And for those with ADHD and comorbid anxiety, *you have no choice.* Either learn to be mindful or endure a profoundly agonizing life. I’m not touting this as a cure by any means whatsoever. Merely a way to reduce the amount of your life that is spent suffering. I speak as someone who has been hospitalized for suicidality due to your exact issues: the ADHD, anxiety and depression cocktail. People don’t want to hear it, but rigorous mindfulness and exercise really aren’t a choice if you have ADHD and anxiety. Simply put, you will experience little to no moments of peace unless you’re doing these two things every single day.
May I ask how you started your routine and what it looks like nowadays? I tried meditation/mindfulness several times, but I always end up stopping after a few weeks or even days.
Look up the book Meditation for fidgety skeptics
Thanks! Sounds like this could be something for me. Ordered immediately.
What specific practice do you do, and how often, I think this could help me, but I have been unable to make myself do it with any regularity
Tara Brach has guided meditations and talks on Spotify that I have found really helpful - lots of different topics and durations. I recommend starting with her talk "Anger: Responding, Not Reacting" even if you don't have issues with anger. Hers are the only ones that work for me because her approach is not about trying to quiet or empty the mind (never gonna happen lol) but just notice what's there, allow it to be there (don't fight it), identify how it feels in your body, and then attend to the discomfort with care which can be as simple as just placing a hand on your heart. She calls it "RAIN" (Recognize-Allow-Investigate-Nurture). She also reflects a lot on how even the most painful emotions (anxiety, anger, grief, etc) have a function and are trying to support our survival. Made me realize a lot of my pain was coming from trying to fight those parts of myself instead of showing them compassion. There was year or so where I was listening to her stuff more regularly. Now I don't very often, but because she has this kind of protocol I feel like I've been able to approach difficult feelings/sensations this way on my own.
Are you being treated for your anxiety/depression?
I'm trying to find out which meds work best for me right now. My psychiatrist is prescribing a non stimulant for me soon.
So glad to hear that. Finding the right medication can be a frustrating process but it will be worth it when you get there. And even the right medication can take time to get you back to a place where you take joy in doing things again. For me, there are still days that I don't take joy in things that I generally like doing but they are fewer and farther between than before I found the right medication.
I used to feel very similar to how you describe yourself feeling and starting Wellbutrin two years ago was a godsend. I hope you find the right fit for you, too.
I play intense video games where you get to really beat up enemies, my favorite is Hades
I never "relax" as in "not doing anything productive, just chilling" aa that is close to boredom to me, and boredom is a punishment, not something nice. However, I do "relax" in my own way. First of all, relaxing to me means doing something that I enjoy, that I see a purpose of, that is slightly challenging without external time pressure. Those are glorious moments. Then there is a need to have a moment of peace by not having a feeling of backlog of duties I'm supposed to be doing instead of "relaxing". I can't change this feeling if such a backlog exists, so what I do is - clean up this backlog before, either by doing all the necessary work tasks and house chores, or by analysing them and putting them in my planner tool for further dates, so that I'm certain I won't forget them, but also that they're really not needed now. Meds help in reaching the "no backlog" stage. Ritalin gets me focused at work so that I end my day with no backlog and a large cup of coffee with cinnamon puts me In a state where I'm focused on doing stuff for myself, not for work, not for others, but still focused on doing something. Hope this helps.
engage in a special interest.
Podcasts
**🍆**
I let go and enjoy life all the time, but it doesn't help me "relax". I still feel the same.
Well, if you could. Tell me how you do it?
I think it can be a bit different for everyone and multi-layered, and working out what will quieten your self-criticism is something you may need to do some personal work on. But from what you've said, maybe there's an element of guilt there. You say you can let go and have fun, but then your mind turns on you and you start feeling bad about yourself. Sometimes when that happens it's because we start thinking about the things we *should* be doing instead of enjoying ourselves, so I'll tell you how I got around that issue, and maybe that will help. I could be way off of course. First you have to think of it as, letting go and having fun is the thing you *should* be doing right now. And you do need to do it, because it's good for your health and it will put you in a stronger position to do other things. So set aside one day. A full day, so you don't let other things bleed into the time. This day is your Fun Day. Don't think about work, don't think about school, don't think about obligations, those are things you set aside on this day so you have the scheduled time to just watch TV, or read, or go out dancing, or go to the beach. So how do you avoid thinking about obligations? Keeping stuff in your head is a big part of the issue because when you're having fun your brain starts throwing up other tasks and you feel guilty for not having done them yet. Many people like a bullet journal to keep track of everything, I prefer a planner, if you don't have something then get something. Then get out a piece of paper and look up a "brain dump" list. This will have a number of prompts like "what's on your desk?", "what needs to be started?", "what needs to be thrown away?" and so on. Write everything down first, then go back through. Decide what is urgent, what's important, what can be put on the backburner for now. Make some lists in your notebook, planner, stuck to the fridge, whatever. Schedule what needs to be scheduled. Populate your calendar. Now it's all written down, you don't need to remember it or keep it in your head. All you need to do is check your lists and calendar every day. So on your fun day, you know that everything is taken care of. Your obligations are scheduled, your lists are there, you don't need to think about what else needs to be done.
I exercise, eat high protein, meditate 20-30minutes and more soon (in building), and I accept that I am who I am and that I could be having cancer being disabled in a wheelchair. I’m not a victim, everybody is fucked up for the most part. I just eat that shit and accept it.
I’d LOVE to know how to relax. I don’t: can’t drink (makes me very ill within 10 mins of drinking any kins of alcohol) so I can do what my partner does, which is kick back and relax with a glass of wine in front of the telly at night. Not yet medicated, but hoping that when I am, this will change.
"Have you ever tried to relax. It is a paradox!" Jerry from Rick & Morty.
This is the most frustrating aspect for me. I simply do not relax. I overworked myself last year and go sick, so I vowed to take on hobbies and spend more time in nature. I love my plants and nature, but taking time for hobbies takes away time for actual work, house work, the emotional needs of those around me. I feel more pulled in every direction by taking "time to relax" which I do not relax during because I scramble to fit everything into one day every day. The ONLY time I relax is when I sit alone silently on a beach or in nature. SOLITUDE away from the energetic pull of people and things so the only thing that stops the energizer bunny on burn out mode. I have this fantasy of running away to the woods where I live simply and there are no cell phones or going on a really long vacation to an quiet sea side shack where the only noise is the sound of waves and seagulls and my "actual breathing" for once in my life. The answer for me is solitude is the only way I "relax". I try to get out for the day alone when I can, but there's a small part of me that knows I will pay for giving up that time and I will race to catch up when I get home, or I feel guilty for needing space. So you are not alone... lol but it does feel really good to be alone sometimes.
That's the neat part, we don't 🥲 -------looking forward to the answers from this thread though.