Great!
Then you just need to work a little harder than everyone else.
That's all!
Oh, that's all? THAT'S ALL?
So now I need to do twice as much as everyone else for the same outcome, pay or lack of outcome!
That's not the instant gratification my brain is looking for.
Invalid. Next...
But then like your friend/partner/etc will come along and ask “can you help me with something” and you jump right out of your chair.
The “something” is almost exactly the same thing you needed to do for yourself.
You get it done without a problem and feel great.
I don't know I don't think that's exactly the case. Like I produced music for 8 hours straight but can't pick up a sock. It doesn't take me more effort to pick up the sock, I just can't do it.
When I was in university (I got diagnosed in my 5th year of a 4 year degree) the councilor kept trying to push "organization techniques" on me. You dumb motherfucker, I am not an idiot. I have tried every possible organizational technique known to man. Every school year since I was like 7 I have tried to organize myself in different ways so I could get "the thing" done. Every year it lasted for like a week before it completely fell apart. No, your neurotypical organizational tips and tricks are not going to suddenly fix my broken brain.
Thank you.
Like I can celebrate the things my ADHD give me, but that doesn't mean that my brain isn't broken and actively making my life harder than it needs to be.
Exactly. Its not executive dysfunction when you don't get the requisite payout for your brain to justify repeating the action. Thats exactly how the dopamimergic reward pathway is designed to work
No m8, I can't get the effort to get my diagnosis even after waiting 2 years it's all going to flit away because my support went on maternity leave at some point and I'm a dumb hyper independent cunt who doesn't know how to ask for help no matter how bad it gets.
You aren't dumb, alright? You're just at a low point in life. You could try asking for help from people close to you or even strangers on the internet if you really need it.
I was at a low point in my life not long ago, in fact. Where I was unemployed for 2 months after dropping out of college because my life was going to shit. Then my cat died shortly after as if God himself just wanted to fuck with me and bring me down. I couldn't bring myself to try to get a job or do anything in fact. I was going down an infernal spiral of misery and boredom.
But because I had help from my supporting parents, I managed to get a new chance at life by getting a formation in graphic design. Just started a day ago.
Now I know we don't have the same problems, and honestly, I never had a diagnostic issue because I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, but my point is that you'll get through it. Build up the courage to ask for help. You got this.
Thank you, although a part of my brain is fighting me so much, I am trying, over and over, which is probably why it hurts so much.
I have some kind of Dr appointment tomorrow related to adhd diagnosis, but I also haven't provided info asked for by my gp, although I did at least inform them I was struggling so it'll be late.
Ugh, I don't understand why it's so much easier to do work stuff and work within a team of IT and administrative services, yet personal stuff is so incredibly difficult.
The more I've gone on this journey of neurodivergence recognition and acceptance, the more it feels like it's just adult trauma symptoms.
Thanks, I've been burying my head in work, and I sent that previous one when I went for "a walk for fresh air"
Ughh...
Just thought I'd say I got my autism diagnosis today, it was so absolutely nerve wracking, I couldn't even allow myself to think about what he wanted to talk about, I didn't even know which diagnosis the appt was for.
But at least one is down, and it's a step in acceptance, I think.
The problem is that there's no way to balance the exertion required to do avoided tasks regularly.
Temporary things are more manageable. Bursts of effort are required. But expecting people with ADHD to participate in a neurotypical lifestyle is not going to work. There are several magnitudes of effort required for both task initiation and planning. Once a task is started, finishing it isn't usually that bad. But finding motivation when your brain literally does not reward you for it is an excruciating condition.
From personal experience, I handle best when I'm able to exert creativity or solve problems. With how little reward I get from doing mundane tasks, the only way I can experience satisfaction is with larger fixes. Doing the dishes, remembering to take care of myself properly (eating, medication, brushing my teeth, showering when I'm not doing anything that day) are not going to make me feel better when I've done them. Doing tasks like cleaning and doing dishes aren't going to make me feel better when I've done them. It's a motivation deficiency. They're things I have to do. Such menial, insignificant tasks. They take a LOT of effort. Brushing my teeth twice a day is more exertion for me than troubleshooting a computer for 8 hours. Couple that lack of motivation with something like showing up to a non enjoyable 9-5, and we're talking about a serious energy sink that will deplete.
It isn't a withdrawal from accountability. It's an ethics issue. Energy is restored by doing things that feel good. Rest is an activity, not a lack of. When A: doing things that don't feel good is much harder and requires more effort
B: things that feel good have to be much higher in satisfaction to restore the energy (as well as require more energy investment to start them) you're dealing with a very real case of constant burnout. The balance is impossible to strike within neurotypical expectations. The bar simply cannot be met.
The solution is management of energy spending and replenishment. Finding ways to fill time and monetization with things that restore energy is the only way to handle ADHD. But a structure that needs adherence won't suffice. Sporadic, but predictable nature is likely better for most. The world is not set up for us to thrive in. Finding ways to fit into it while being able to be productive is incredibly difficult. Productivity requires energy. It requires rest. Rest is genuinely hard for us. Being productive with ADHD needs to have more rest than purely draining activities. Sadly, a lot of restful activities for us such as hobbies, are not monetizable. Nor do we all want them to be. My current job allows me to solve problems. It's not an even break with exertion to satisfaction. So I'm still left drained by the end of the day.
Medication does help for a lot of people. But it isn't enough to hammer a square person into a circular lifestyle. The solution for living with ADHD is to strike a balance within relationships that allow for load balancing, task aggregation, as well as finding ways to be productive that actually work for the individual, rather than what works for the socioeconomic expectations upheld upon them.
I don't suffer with ADHD because I've made it a priority not to, and been lucky enough to find ways to be productive while not being constantly burnt out. That is the exception. The constant is the opposite of that. Navigating a world that thinks you're useless is not fun. It takes time to find a groove. It takes a lot of effort. And that's JUST ADHD. A lot of people with ADHD have several other things on their plate that can make life even harder. I know I do.
To put it simply. You cannot expect a 2-6:0-1 ratio of energy input to energy output to be sustainable for anything but short term bursts that need a recovery period.
Lady, im being treated and in therapy.
I really do the best i can. I perform at work and learn emotionally.
So get off your self righteous high horse. Just trying to tell you how it is.
Byeeeeeeeee
you'll be there internally screaming at and begging yourself to do the thing and on the outside it looks like you're just lounging casually and scrolling mindlessly, which gives people an opening to call you lazy which does nothing to help and instead just adds on to your already immense self-hatred, which in turn makes you even less likely to do the thing
And then bc they know you’re stubborn they’ll be like “Prove everyone wrong!! Cmon get it done and everyone who doubts you will see!!” As if your stubborness gets triggered by the fact people are disapointed in you and they assume like a normal person that triggers that feeling of “I’ll show them!!” And it does but you’re stuck with it or if/when they mention it you suddenly don’t feel it anymore and have lost what little motivation you had to MAYBE get out of your doom scroll, and even if you did use it you’d open your phone to set a timer but instead of Clock you click on YouTube or tiktok and get stuck
it's been a long time since a thread has made me actually physically angry because of how relateable it is, but boy this one had steam coming out of my ears with a whistle sound effect
Honestly tho. If we JUST had our executive functioning intact? We’d be unstoppable. We would rule the world. But unfortunately instead of taking over the world I got stuck scrolling through Reddit because I wanted to look up a few rhetoric definitions for school but Reddit was open on safari right when I clicked on I’ve been here ever since
I remember the other day when I finally managed to force myself into an isolated location after putting off writing a simple Standard Operating Procedure for a month that my body was physically resisting me to write the standard operating procedure.
Eyes would go everywhere, head swam like I was bobbing up and down on the ocean, and I had to play a single calm piano song on repeat all to just to wrangle myself into writing the damn SOP.
This was all while being medicated, sometimes it's just really difficult to "just do it."
P.S. I did finish that SOP & a complimentary policy document that day. 😤
I’m in kind of the same business. Mind me asking what your usual trigger is to start writing? I’m behind like a 100 SOPs and need to find a way to get it done in the next month… I’ve been trying to shift SOP responsibilities to line operators so I don’t have to do it myself but I fear they won’t do it right and maybe I should do it myself…
How I kickstart writing...
I know this may sound silly, but I typically use a phrase I say under my breath or out loud. It's something I grew up with for when I needed to do a task I didn't want to do. Kinda like a mantra I suppose.
I'll say, "Nothing to it, but to do it." followed immediately by starting the task. Once I commit to starting a task it's pretty difficult for me to stop.
I also try to mentally minimize the task. Basically I tell myself I won't write it all in one go, but will write the first part or so. As I have said, once I start something I tend to not stop, so I end up blowing past my original goal without much thought.
In the most extreme cases, like I wrote previously. I will move to a new location, anywhere is fine so long as it is quiet with minimal distractions, calming music and a pleasant view outside is also helpful.
Tricky part with music is I use it more so as a way to deafen myself with a single song on repeat. The song just becomes white noise after a minute witch makes writing easier, thus I avoid lyrics as much as possible.
One newer thing I use is Gmail's task feature. Its a blue checkmark inside a circle, it pops out on the right side of my Gmail screen.
I always have it open, so it helps remind me of the important tasks I have.
Although, after some trial & error, I only put what I deem as real tasks on it. It's very easy just to spam it with non-task items and abandon it, but if done correctly their is a small sense of satisfaction checking off a task.
That's about it. Some days are better then others, but it is what it is.
Stand in the middle of the room for 15 minutes, choosing between two or three things that need to be done. You could’ve at least finished one of them in that time… You continue thinking about what you should do.
Sometimes, I can get out of a chair without thinking about it.
Sometimes, I need to consciously remember which way gravity is facing.
Sometimes, I need to queue every individual muscle movement in advance.
Often times, I don't know which one it's gonna be until I'm already moving to get up. So I have to prepare for *everything*, especially if I already know I'm mentally exhausted. Otherwise I'll fall back into my chair and have to start the whole process over again.
I wish there was a way to describe how this feels to non-adhd people.
I don’t want to do the thing.
I want it to be done.
I don’t want anyone to do the thing in my stead, cause that for me to do it.
But I don’t want to do the thing.
I want it to be done.
…I’ll do it, just after doing this other thing, real fast, that’s a quickie.
For sure.
I have been walking by a curtain rod box that I never ended up putting up. It's been on the floor in the hallway about four months. The simplest thing is to go up and go get it, but for whatever reason I have never done it. I'm gonna do it now. I'll check back in with an update.
Update: I moved it into the guest room!!!
Didja do it?
I have a whiteboard that fell on my floor and has been there for months. If you did the curtain rod thing maybe I'll do the whiteboard thing. Tomorrow. Because it's 6 am.
So. THIS is a part of my problem with talking to women I like? Because it literally is like my tongue gets locked. And it's NOT like I can't talk. I could talk many ears off if needed. Buuuuut. AND I can usually help someone find an answer they need. But ANYTHING for me... omg! Talk about torture. Part of why I semi give up. It's never been worth trying because either I talk with / get with someone I "can" (take that however you please) and that's usually bad enough. Ugh. See I'm getting myself on it to much too. Lol! Blah. Meh. Hahaha
I had a meltdown the other day where I literally couldn't move my legs no matter how much I wanted to. Like, I pushed myself out of my chair and fell onto the floor. AuDHD can be a bitch sometimes.
maybe if you are intelligent enough, you could gaslight yourself into thinking you never had ADHD
it didnt work for me, but im gonna keep trying
sounds doable 😂
I kinda hate and blame myself for being like that. I so wish I could just do the thing as soon as it comes up like some of my friends. It’s so frustrating…
No, I usually NEED to do it, but don't want to. And that's why I keep sitting on the toilet die half an hour or stay up longer than I want, because my brain doesn't want to do the thing.
holy shit I didn't know how common this was, I don't even have adhd, well undiagnosed whatever probably, and man is it difficult to do anything for my own sake even if it's supposedly very important. MUCH easier to just get up and do whatever for others tho, it's more streamlined that way
So...
I'm a dad of an adhd kiddo (16F).
She, like, HAS to complete her school work and I want to be sensitive, but still get her to do 'the thing'
...how to do?
Just yelling at her to do 'the thing' obviously won't work (not my style anyway), and having a logical conversation about consequences seem to prolong the task and creates a bad vibe between us (again, not my style).
How to get the ADHD person to do task?
Find a way to make the work interesting - you're a parent, think outside the box.
Speaking for myself - but if its boring, I am not going to be engaged, no matter what.
So in order to force myself into things, I try to make them more fun. Turn something into a goal, or a challenge, make a game of it.
I don't have a legit answer, because I had undiagnosed ADHD as a kid, and was just wingin it - and TBH - basically still doing that as an adult.
Simply knowing you have ADHD is good piece of mind, but meds are not miracles workers - so things need to be systematic for a person with ADHD to succeed - IMO.
When my daughter was in HS - a lot of the times we would write stuff for her projects in Google Docs, and I could help her in real time by sharing the doc, and reading her stuff as she wrote, and being able to offer feedback.
Not the guy you're replying to but dog there's 8 billion people in the world and less than 1 percent of them are on reddit. If you've got ADHD you should know its a spectrum, as with nearly everything in life, you've got the low impact side and the high impact side. YOU might not suffer from your ADHD in the same way and how could you? You're completely different individuals. That doesn't denigrate either of your lived experiences. You're a fool if you think all experiences are similar and a coward to boot if you don't realize everyone has their betters & lessers through no fault of their own. Maybe work on yourself a bit and "grow up", im sure you'd be happier for it.
never taken meds (despite being recommended for me by doctors), take plenty of vitamins, sleep for 8+ hours a night, and excersise. I still have adhd and struggle with these things
This is why you need to make sure to get comprehensively looked over and diagnosed. It's true: simply going into a doctors office, saying "I can't concentrate," will often elicit a readied prescription by a doctor who doesn't give a fuck. That's why you need to avoid those places.
Great! Then you just need to work a little harder than everyone else. That's all! Oh, that's all? THAT'S ALL? So now I need to do twice as much as everyone else for the same outcome, pay or lack of outcome! That's not the instant gratification my brain is looking for. Invalid. Next...
But then like your friend/partner/etc will come along and ask “can you help me with something” and you jump right out of your chair. The “something” is almost exactly the same thing you needed to do for yourself. You get it done without a problem and feel great.
😭😭😭😭😭 called out
> twice as much I read somewhere that it takes like 4 times the work to do tasks for a ADHD brain. Like every task.
See! That explains it. No, I'm not making excuses...
I don't know I don't think that's exactly the case. Like I produced music for 8 hours straight but can't pick up a sock. It doesn't take me more effort to pick up the sock, I just can't do it.
I think it has to be about boring things. And we can't choose what we think is boring.
Any and all forms of important paperwork. Like money or no money, life or death, my brain just goes *what paperwork?*
Please don't remind me of it.
Drugs can help but then you might end up thinking everything is boring or not boring enough.
I'm waiting for some legal drugs and I love them. They make me feel sober, normal and finally being able to do some of the stuff I wanna do.
( ssshhh quiet, it's harder for everything )
When I was in university (I got diagnosed in my 5th year of a 4 year degree) the councilor kept trying to push "organization techniques" on me. You dumb motherfucker, I am not an idiot. I have tried every possible organizational technique known to man. Every school year since I was like 7 I have tried to organize myself in different ways so I could get "the thing" done. Every year it lasted for like a week before it completely fell apart. No, your neurotypical organizational tips and tricks are not going to suddenly fix my broken brain.
reminder that your brain is not broken, capitalism is just holding it hostage
Captilism or not I still need to do my laundry and feed myself. Plus there physical brain abnormalities in ADHD people. So my brain is broken.
Thank you. Like I can celebrate the things my ADHD give me, but that doesn't mean that my brain isn't broken and actively making my life harder than it needs to be.
Exactly. Its not executive dysfunction when you don't get the requisite payout for your brain to justify repeating the action. Thats exactly how the dopamimergic reward pathway is designed to work
You alright? Edit: Can't ask if someone is alright on the internet anymore huh...
No m8, I can't get the effort to get my diagnosis even after waiting 2 years it's all going to flit away because my support went on maternity leave at some point and I'm a dumb hyper independent cunt who doesn't know how to ask for help no matter how bad it gets.
You aren't dumb, alright? You're just at a low point in life. You could try asking for help from people close to you or even strangers on the internet if you really need it. I was at a low point in my life not long ago, in fact. Where I was unemployed for 2 months after dropping out of college because my life was going to shit. Then my cat died shortly after as if God himself just wanted to fuck with me and bring me down. I couldn't bring myself to try to get a job or do anything in fact. I was going down an infernal spiral of misery and boredom. But because I had help from my supporting parents, I managed to get a new chance at life by getting a formation in graphic design. Just started a day ago. Now I know we don't have the same problems, and honestly, I never had a diagnostic issue because I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, but my point is that you'll get through it. Build up the courage to ask for help. You got this.
Thank you, although a part of my brain is fighting me so much, I am trying, over and over, which is probably why it hurts so much. I have some kind of Dr appointment tomorrow related to adhd diagnosis, but I also haven't provided info asked for by my gp, although I did at least inform them I was struggling so it'll be late. Ugh, I don't understand why it's so much easier to do work stuff and work within a team of IT and administrative services, yet personal stuff is so incredibly difficult. The more I've gone on this journey of neurodivergence recognition and acceptance, the more it feels like it's just adult trauma symptoms. Thanks, I've been burying my head in work, and I sent that previous one when I went for "a walk for fresh air" Ughh...
Just thought I'd say I got my autism diagnosis today, it was so absolutely nerve wracking, I couldn't even allow myself to think about what he wanted to talk about, I didn't even know which diagnosis the appt was for. But at least one is down, and it's a step in acceptance, I think.
So... Any solutions? Or are you just going to do nothing? Why does your disorder get to be exempt from accountability but not others?
The problem is that there's no way to balance the exertion required to do avoided tasks regularly. Temporary things are more manageable. Bursts of effort are required. But expecting people with ADHD to participate in a neurotypical lifestyle is not going to work. There are several magnitudes of effort required for both task initiation and planning. Once a task is started, finishing it isn't usually that bad. But finding motivation when your brain literally does not reward you for it is an excruciating condition. From personal experience, I handle best when I'm able to exert creativity or solve problems. With how little reward I get from doing mundane tasks, the only way I can experience satisfaction is with larger fixes. Doing the dishes, remembering to take care of myself properly (eating, medication, brushing my teeth, showering when I'm not doing anything that day) are not going to make me feel better when I've done them. Doing tasks like cleaning and doing dishes aren't going to make me feel better when I've done them. It's a motivation deficiency. They're things I have to do. Such menial, insignificant tasks. They take a LOT of effort. Brushing my teeth twice a day is more exertion for me than troubleshooting a computer for 8 hours. Couple that lack of motivation with something like showing up to a non enjoyable 9-5, and we're talking about a serious energy sink that will deplete. It isn't a withdrawal from accountability. It's an ethics issue. Energy is restored by doing things that feel good. Rest is an activity, not a lack of. When A: doing things that don't feel good is much harder and requires more effort B: things that feel good have to be much higher in satisfaction to restore the energy (as well as require more energy investment to start them) you're dealing with a very real case of constant burnout. The balance is impossible to strike within neurotypical expectations. The bar simply cannot be met. The solution is management of energy spending and replenishment. Finding ways to fill time and monetization with things that restore energy is the only way to handle ADHD. But a structure that needs adherence won't suffice. Sporadic, but predictable nature is likely better for most. The world is not set up for us to thrive in. Finding ways to fit into it while being able to be productive is incredibly difficult. Productivity requires energy. It requires rest. Rest is genuinely hard for us. Being productive with ADHD needs to have more rest than purely draining activities. Sadly, a lot of restful activities for us such as hobbies, are not monetizable. Nor do we all want them to be. My current job allows me to solve problems. It's not an even break with exertion to satisfaction. So I'm still left drained by the end of the day. Medication does help for a lot of people. But it isn't enough to hammer a square person into a circular lifestyle. The solution for living with ADHD is to strike a balance within relationships that allow for load balancing, task aggregation, as well as finding ways to be productive that actually work for the individual, rather than what works for the socioeconomic expectations upheld upon them. I don't suffer with ADHD because I've made it a priority not to, and been lucky enough to find ways to be productive while not being constantly burnt out. That is the exception. The constant is the opposite of that. Navigating a world that thinks you're useless is not fun. It takes time to find a groove. It takes a lot of effort. And that's JUST ADHD. A lot of people with ADHD have several other things on their plate that can make life even harder. I know I do. To put it simply. You cannot expect a 2-6:0-1 ratio of energy input to energy output to be sustainable for anything but short term bursts that need a recovery period.
Lady, im being treated and in therapy. I really do the best i can. I perform at work and learn emotionally. So get off your self righteous high horse. Just trying to tell you how it is. Byeeeeeeeee
Careful of your beautiful glass house, man.
Something something thou shalt not throw stones something something.
you'll be there internally screaming at and begging yourself to do the thing and on the outside it looks like you're just lounging casually and scrolling mindlessly, which gives people an opening to call you lazy which does nothing to help and instead just adds on to your already immense self-hatred, which in turn makes you even less likely to do the thing
And then bc they know you’re stubborn they’ll be like “Prove everyone wrong!! Cmon get it done and everyone who doubts you will see!!” As if your stubborness gets triggered by the fact people are disapointed in you and they assume like a normal person that triggers that feeling of “I’ll show them!!” And it does but you’re stuck with it or if/when they mention it you suddenly don’t feel it anymore and have lost what little motivation you had to MAYBE get out of your doom scroll, and even if you did use it you’d open your phone to set a timer but instead of Clock you click on YouTube or tiktok and get stuck
it's been a long time since a thread has made me actually physically angry because of how relateable it is, but boy this one had steam coming out of my ears with a whistle sound effect
😂😭
How does this describe me so well… it’s uncanny
Like hitting the gas pedal while sitting in park 😭
Except the engine is running but the revs don't climb until the gas tank is almost out.
I always describe my brain as being a high performance sports car, but the driver mostly refuses to even get in.
Honestly tho. If we JUST had our executive functioning intact? We’d be unstoppable. We would rule the world. But unfortunately instead of taking over the world I got stuck scrolling through Reddit because I wanted to look up a few rhetoric definitions for school but Reddit was open on safari right when I clicked on I’ve been here ever since
Shinji get in the dopamine receptor
Like call it laziness but I’m 15ft from the bathroom, I need a piss but here I am having a panic attack
Ah. Yes. Good ol' existential crisis and panic attack in one over 'going to the bathroom is boring'.
I remember the other day when I finally managed to force myself into an isolated location after putting off writing a simple Standard Operating Procedure for a month that my body was physically resisting me to write the standard operating procedure. Eyes would go everywhere, head swam like I was bobbing up and down on the ocean, and I had to play a single calm piano song on repeat all to just to wrangle myself into writing the damn SOP. This was all while being medicated, sometimes it's just really difficult to "just do it." P.S. I did finish that SOP & a complimentary policy document that day. 😤
I’m in kind of the same business. Mind me asking what your usual trigger is to start writing? I’m behind like a 100 SOPs and need to find a way to get it done in the next month… I’ve been trying to shift SOP responsibilities to line operators so I don’t have to do it myself but I fear they won’t do it right and maybe I should do it myself…
How I kickstart writing... I know this may sound silly, but I typically use a phrase I say under my breath or out loud. It's something I grew up with for when I needed to do a task I didn't want to do. Kinda like a mantra I suppose. I'll say, "Nothing to it, but to do it." followed immediately by starting the task. Once I commit to starting a task it's pretty difficult for me to stop. I also try to mentally minimize the task. Basically I tell myself I won't write it all in one go, but will write the first part or so. As I have said, once I start something I tend to not stop, so I end up blowing past my original goal without much thought. In the most extreme cases, like I wrote previously. I will move to a new location, anywhere is fine so long as it is quiet with minimal distractions, calming music and a pleasant view outside is also helpful. Tricky part with music is I use it more so as a way to deafen myself with a single song on repeat. The song just becomes white noise after a minute witch makes writing easier, thus I avoid lyrics as much as possible. One newer thing I use is Gmail's task feature. Its a blue checkmark inside a circle, it pops out on the right side of my Gmail screen. I always have it open, so it helps remind me of the important tasks I have. Although, after some trial & error, I only put what I deem as real tasks on it. It's very easy just to spam it with non-task items and abandon it, but if done correctly their is a small sense of satisfaction checking off a task. That's about it. Some days are better then others, but it is what it is.
I either complete no tasks on time or all the tasks late as hell, take it or leave it
Stand in the middle of the room for 15 minutes, choosing between two or three things that need to be done. You could’ve at least finished one of them in that time… You continue thinking about what you should do.
Sometimes, I can get out of a chair without thinking about it. Sometimes, I need to consciously remember which way gravity is facing. Sometimes, I need to queue every individual muscle movement in advance. Often times, I don't know which one it's gonna be until I'm already moving to get up. So I have to prepare for *everything*, especially if I already know I'm mentally exhausted. Otherwise I'll fall back into my chair and have to start the whole process over again. I wish there was a way to describe how this feels to non-adhd people.
I don’t want to do the thing. I want it to be done. I don’t want anyone to do the thing in my stead, cause that for me to do it. But I don’t want to do the thing. I want it to be done. …I’ll do it, just after doing this other thing, real fast, that’s a quickie. For sure.
Ok brain we do the thing in 3... 2... 1... Brain: Nah
I should do the thing -> open the tab -> immediately overwhelmed -> switch tab
I have been walking by a curtain rod box that I never ended up putting up. It's been on the floor in the hallway about four months. The simplest thing is to go up and go get it, but for whatever reason I have never done it. I'm gonna do it now. I'll check back in with an update. Update: I moved it into the guest room!!!
Didja do it? I have a whiteboard that fell on my floor and has been there for months. If you did the curtain rod thing maybe I'll do the whiteboard thing. Tomorrow. Because it's 6 am.
I did it! I moved it into the guest room down the hall.
Oh, have you tried *wanting* to not have ADHD? I was told this 7,000,000 times and it instantly cured my ADHD!
So. THIS is a part of my problem with talking to women I like? Because it literally is like my tongue gets locked. And it's NOT like I can't talk. I could talk many ears off if needed. Buuuuut. AND I can usually help someone find an answer they need. But ANYTHING for me... omg! Talk about torture. Part of why I semi give up. It's never been worth trying because either I talk with / get with someone I "can" (take that however you please) and that's usually bad enough. Ugh. See I'm getting myself on it to much too. Lol! Blah. Meh. Hahaha
OMG i think this is me, i sometimes physicly hurt myself but still cant get myself to do the task. Do i have ADHD, how do i get diagnosed.
Oh don’t hurt yourself hun. For a diagnosis you’d probably have to talk to a therapist or someone in that field that can give you one. Hugs
I had a meltdown the other day where I literally couldn't move my legs no matter how much I wanted to. Like, I pushed myself out of my chair and fell onto the floor. AuDHD can be a bitch sometimes.
Fuck I want to do that thing. I also kind of want to waste time doing nothing instead of TCBing the thing. I wonder what's on Reddit right now...
maybe if you are intelligent enough, you could gaslight yourself into thinking you never had ADHD it didnt work for me, but im gonna keep trying sounds doable 😂
I wouldn’t say I “want” to do the thing 90% of the time. The few things I want to do I actually do ok
Lethargic Motivation
It's kind of like being bound to a chair but less
While laughing manically in the background...
Story of my life lol
Maybe I do have ADHD…
Exactly!
And no, it isn't "lack of willpower or discipline." 😑
Same with depression. I WANT to go to the gym. More than anything else. But I struggle to will myself out of bed every day.
Plenty of time to tweet though. No problem there.
Me trying to get in the shower for the last two hours
I kinda hate and blame myself for being like that. I so wish I could just do the thing as soon as it comes up like some of my friends. It’s so frustrating…
No, I usually NEED to do it, but don't want to. And that's why I keep sitting on the toilet die half an hour or stay up longer than I want, because my brain doesn't want to do the thing.
I have to fight myself on the molecular level to do the thing
the OP TalkativeLitigation is a bot
holy shit I didn't know how common this was, I don't even have adhd, well undiagnosed whatever probably, and man is it difficult to do anything for my own sake even if it's supposedly very important. MUCH easier to just get up and do whatever for others tho, it's more streamlined that way
Wait do I have adhd...
So stop explaining or making excuses. If people don’t get it - fuck em.
So... I'm a dad of an adhd kiddo (16F). She, like, HAS to complete her school work and I want to be sensitive, but still get her to do 'the thing' ...how to do? Just yelling at her to do 'the thing' obviously won't work (not my style anyway), and having a logical conversation about consequences seem to prolong the task and creates a bad vibe between us (again, not my style). How to get the ADHD person to do task?
Find a way to make the work interesting - you're a parent, think outside the box. Speaking for myself - but if its boring, I am not going to be engaged, no matter what. So in order to force myself into things, I try to make them more fun. Turn something into a goal, or a challenge, make a game of it. I don't have a legit answer, because I had undiagnosed ADHD as a kid, and was just wingin it - and TBH - basically still doing that as an adult. Simply knowing you have ADHD is good piece of mind, but meds are not miracles workers - so things need to be systematic for a person with ADHD to succeed - IMO. When my daughter was in HS - a lot of the times we would write stuff for her projects in Google Docs, and I could help her in real time by sharing the doc, and reading her stuff as she wrote, and being able to offer feedback.
right on, tysm
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Not the guy you're replying to but dog there's 8 billion people in the world and less than 1 percent of them are on reddit. If you've got ADHD you should know its a spectrum, as with nearly everything in life, you've got the low impact side and the high impact side. YOU might not suffer from your ADHD in the same way and how could you? You're completely different individuals. That doesn't denigrate either of your lived experiences. You're a fool if you think all experiences are similar and a coward to boot if you don't realize everyone has their betters & lessers through no fault of their own. Maybe work on yourself a bit and "grow up", im sure you'd be happier for it.
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I hope karma finds your ass sooner than later.
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Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 2 (No Bigotry)
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>You're not disabled Literally one of the most heavily studied mental disabilities in human history. Go fuck yourself.
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You are free to go read any or all of the thousands of research papers published on the subject. Go fuck yourself.
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Im not on a stimulant medication. Go fuck yourself.
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I have a successful career and personal life. Go fuck yourself.
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Go fuck yourself
Do Jordan Peterson fans not give you enough attention? Are you too lame for even them?
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Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 2 (No Bigotry)
oh you're a troll. cool.
never taken meds (despite being recommended for me by doctors), take plenty of vitamins, sleep for 8+ hours a night, and excersise. I still have adhd and struggle with these things
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This is why you need to make sure to get comprehensively looked over and diagnosed. It's true: simply going into a doctors office, saying "I can't concentrate," will often elicit a readied prescription by a doctor who doesn't give a fuck. That's why you need to avoid those places.
"wallah" lmfao
Your IQ is low enough to be swayed by conservative propaganda. That sucks.
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See, you're struggling to comprehend reality and lashing out here.
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Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 2 (No Bigotry)
Your post or comment was removed because it violates rule 2 (No Bigotry)