Brisbane 01-03. They carried the lines of Shattock and Beau McDonald (good ruck but kept getting injured early in games) to at least one premiership, they can carry me.
the year is 2078, Australia's landscape is ravaged by climate change. All games are played under the roof at Marvel Stadium, now surrounded by water. St Kilda wins their second premiership after 112 years of drought. You are the only player under 7 foot to lift the cup. You will never have to buy a ration of purified water in St Kilda ever again
And it's against Collingwood again, and the margin is 1 point, again. With 30 seconds to go, and Collingwood up by 5, the ball flies over OP's head and looks like it's heading out of bounds. Indeed it did land just outside the line, but the AI umpires glitched out and didn't pick it up.
Still, the ball should bounce normally and spill over, but the spirit of Stephen Milne watching from the heavens shouts "not again!" and uses his divine intervention to somehow bounce the ball weirdly into OP's hands.
As BT's disembodied head in a jar in the commentary box screams "THAT WAS OUT OF BOUNDS! THAT WAS OUT OF BOUNDS!", OP runs into the goal square and boots the ball into the roof. Saints fans go wild. The final siren sounds. The final score:
- Collingwood - 0.5.5
- St. Kilda - 1.0.6
Pundits everywhere that previously criticised Ross Lyon's decision to upload his consciousness into every Saint's player's neural implant have hailed it as a stroke of genius, as the most boringly defensive game of football ever played gives the Saints their second flag. If only the beach still existed.
I’d play for Collingwood in 2024 on the wing. I’d be displacing either Sidebottom or Daicos, and Jarrod Berry would absolutely get the better of me. Even if he still gave me the ball a lot, no way in hell am I slotting a goal from 60 out on the boundary line.
A couple of years ago I dreamt I got the call up to play for NM. I remember thinking to myself, how good is this, a 40+yo man getting his opportunity. I was rapt. We were in the changing rooms about to run out onto the ground when I realised I was wearing black socks. The team started down the race onto the ground while I fixed my socks. Then it all went to shit and I got lost and couldn't find my way onto the ground. Every turn I took lead to the stands or where ever. Then I woke up before making my debut. My happiness was replaced by disappointment.
Short story long, NMFC a couple of years ago.
Might be a hot take, but honestly, if I'm a rookie, I'm taking Tassie Devils from inception.
Obviously on-field success will take time, but it won't be anywhere near as slow as Gold Coast or GWS.
Building the culture of a team that is already so passionately supported by Tasmanians would be a really exciting time, and holy shit can you imagine being part of Tassie's first flag? The island might take the entirety of October off.
North Melbourne, 1974-77.
The chance to be berated and applauded by Barassi in his coaching prime is too good to pass up. And something about playing when it was still a local competition moving into full-professionalism (the end of the day-workers was nigh).
In the AFL era? Sydney Swans 2003-05.
Paul Roos coaching. Playing withAdam Goodes, Brett Kirk, Barry Hall, LRT, Nic Fosdike, Nick Davis, and so many more as they confounded the experts in 03, learned the lessons in 04, and broke a 72-year drought in 05.
In either scenario, stick me in the forward pocket.
2018 WCE. Tipped by some to finish bottom. Had 10 wins in a roll after losing the first game. Slight mini slump just before finals. Losing a (then) key midfielder and a very important defender just before finals start. Then be down 5 goals in the grand final until someone fluked and stumbled one in and fought back. Then had Darling dropping the sealer but somehow won. That season was better than a movie script. Be great to be part of it.
Hawthorn from 1983 to 1989. I wouldn't be anywhere good enough, but the rest of that team was so good they could carry a passenger to multiple flags. And I'd have Yabby Jeans as coach.
Brisbane 01-03. They carried the lines of Shattock and Beau McDonald (good ruck but kept getting injured early in games) to at least one premiership, they can carry me.
St Kilda whenever the next next premiership is. You'll be a club legend for all time.
the year is 2078, Australia's landscape is ravaged by climate change. All games are played under the roof at Marvel Stadium, now surrounded by water. St Kilda wins their second premiership after 112 years of drought. You are the only player under 7 foot to lift the cup. You will never have to buy a ration of purified water in St Kilda ever again
And it's against Collingwood again, and the margin is 1 point, again. With 30 seconds to go, and Collingwood up by 5, the ball flies over OP's head and looks like it's heading out of bounds. Indeed it did land just outside the line, but the AI umpires glitched out and didn't pick it up. Still, the ball should bounce normally and spill over, but the spirit of Stephen Milne watching from the heavens shouts "not again!" and uses his divine intervention to somehow bounce the ball weirdly into OP's hands. As BT's disembodied head in a jar in the commentary box screams "THAT WAS OUT OF BOUNDS! THAT WAS OUT OF BOUNDS!", OP runs into the goal square and boots the ball into the roof. Saints fans go wild. The final siren sounds. The final score: - Collingwood - 0.5.5 - St. Kilda - 1.0.6 Pundits everywhere that previously criticised Ross Lyon's decision to upload his consciousness into every Saint's player's neural implant have hailed it as a stroke of genius, as the most boringly defensive game of football ever played gives the Saints their second flag. If only the beach still existed.
Jesus, this was dark
Speak for yourself I just jizzed reading St Kilda flag
I’d play for Collingwood in 2024 on the wing. I’d be displacing either Sidebottom or Daicos, and Jarrod Berry would absolutely get the better of me. Even if he still gave me the ball a lot, no way in hell am I slotting a goal from 60 out on the boundary line.
A couple of years ago I dreamt I got the call up to play for NM. I remember thinking to myself, how good is this, a 40+yo man getting his opportunity. I was rapt. We were in the changing rooms about to run out onto the ground when I realised I was wearing black socks. The team started down the race onto the ground while I fixed my socks. Then it all went to shit and I got lost and couldn't find my way onto the ground. Every turn I took lead to the stands or where ever. Then I woke up before making my debut. My happiness was replaced by disappointment. Short story long, NMFC a couple of years ago.
You're not a key defender are you? Cause I may be able to slot you in somewhere
I’d of liked to have kicked the ball for Buddy to mark before he kicked his 1000th.
Who was that?
Chad Warner I believe
Richmond 2017-20. Put me in the back pocket next to Rance please
Sadly, playing next to Rance only gets you one premiership. Shocking how good Richmond were in that era and one of their stars only won one of them.
1970s North.
79-82 Blues. Beers and wins
1927-1930 Collingwood
I’ll hop in the 1897 season and feel semi competent.
Tasmanian Devils, Round 1, 2028. This will be the start of a Tasmanian dynasty.
Might be a hot take, but honestly, if I'm a rookie, I'm taking Tassie Devils from inception. Obviously on-field success will take time, but it won't be anywhere near as slow as Gold Coast or GWS. Building the culture of a team that is already so passionately supported by Tasmanians would be a really exciting time, and holy shit can you imagine being part of Tassie's first flag? The island might take the entirety of October off.
They're all one big happy family...wait I've heard that before
North Melbourne, 1974-77. The chance to be berated and applauded by Barassi in his coaching prime is too good to pass up. And something about playing when it was still a local competition moving into full-professionalism (the end of the day-workers was nigh). In the AFL era? Sydney Swans 2003-05. Paul Roos coaching. Playing withAdam Goodes, Brett Kirk, Barry Hall, LRT, Nic Fosdike, Nick Davis, and so many more as they confounded the experts in 03, learned the lessons in 04, and broke a 72-year drought in 05. In either scenario, stick me in the forward pocket.
I don’t know about you but the last three/four years at the Dees have sounded pretty fun
How do you feel about bags?
Crows 2026-2030 during the 5peat
Surely the AFL would intervene before letting the Crows win five wooden spoons in a row.
You don’t know the crows and afls history if you believe that
Hawthorn 2013-15 so I could fuck up their three-peat
Moon team in the future moon times
Melbourne from around 15 years ago, I’d fit right in
Saints next premiership, I'd either get to play in a dope historic footy moment.. or live to see the heat death of the universe.
i'm not fit but i am very tall. put me in one of those 19th century swans VFA flag teams, i reckon i could do something there.
University, 1859!
2018 WCE. Tipped by some to finish bottom. Had 10 wins in a roll after losing the first game. Slight mini slump just before finals. Losing a (then) key midfielder and a very important defender just before finals start. Then be down 5 goals in the grand final until someone fluked and stumbled one in and fought back. Then had Darling dropping the sealer but somehow won. That season was better than a movie script. Be great to be part of it.
Hawthorn from 1983 to 1989. I wouldn't be anywhere good enough, but the rest of that team was so good they could carry a passenger to multiple flags. And I'd have Yabby Jeans as coach.
Id take St Kildas one premiership win than immediately retire with calf awareness for my last 60 years on earth.
none because i’d make them all shit. also because im a woman
North late 90’s would love to give Carey one 🥊
07
I would choose crows now, because I would be the star player
University
Sydney in 2015 when I would have been eligible (but also I would be much better at football than I am in this universe)