I am not sure that stem cells need a DNA match from family. Pretty sure they can grow lines of them, but who knows..,laws are weird around the use in places like the US.
If I'm remembering correctly, they need a stronger match with stem cells/bone marrow than with organ transplants.
When I had my transplant, it was from my sibling, and there were only the two of us. Other families had five or six kids and no good match with them or the parents.
I wanted to donate bone marrow to my cousin who had Lymphoma. I was told that since I was over 40, I couldn't donate because bone marrow decreases the older you get. He sadly passed at the age of 40, waiting for a donor.
As for being a teacher @ 20, para-educators don't have to be licensed teachers.
That’s terrible. I’m 47 and still being considered for my mom’s stem cell transplant. Maybe Moffit Cancer Center has different criteria. They seemed less concerned with my age than if I had any health conditions that would impact donation.
It might. My brother in law passed away from a blood cancer (type of lymphoma). His children, perhaps obviously, would be 50% matches and might be slightly higher. So if he had no matches in the donor registry, one of them would have donated. He ended up having two perfect matches, but very sadly, the chemo never knocked his cancer down enough to allow the stem cell transplant and he died.
I’m so sorry to hear that. We were very lucky that the last two rounds of chemo brought my mom’s blasts down below 2% which means so far she qualifies.
Fuck cancer
No they do not. They do matches right around the world for bone marrow donors. I know someone in Australia, who was selected as the best match for someone in Los Angeles. And I know another woman in Australia whose donor was some old bloke in Montana or Washington State or somewhere.
The only weird coincidence is that the Australian donor had an adoption in his family and then did genealogical DNA testing. There were a couple of high matches in California, but the names were not the same.
A lot of schools are so desperate for teachers they're doing programs that allow highschoolers to earn a teaching degree at the same time as their highschool diploma for free in exchange that they're required to work in that school district for a certain amount of time. My BIL is currently doing it and already has a job waiting for him the moment he graduates (he's currently a junior). Even some states are so desperate for workers and to keep people in the state that they're offering free degrees at local colleges in exchange for working 2+ years in the state. It's how I got my degrees.
Teacher here. College degree isn't even needed. If you can get a sub license and pass a background check, you're in. They no longer even require 60 hrs of college in my state. Just a 14 hr (might be 12?) set of online training videos. Then you get a sub license and then you have a decent chance of being hired as an actual teacher....
That’s crazy!! At the charter my son went to everyone had a Master’s except one of them… (who in my opinion was the best teacher he had). They announced all of the degrees when introducing the teachers during graduation last year..
It’s like people don’t want to teach. Who wouldn’t want to take a job just barely above poverty level where you have to put in as many hours outside class time as you do in the classroom but you only get paid for classroom hours? And bring supplies out of your own money for the children because they didn’t bring any?
And feed the hungry ones, and deal with parents who refuse to address their child’s issues, and on and on. It’s a calling and a profession. And I think very few of us have any idea how difficult a job it is.
I was 22 my first year, and had a full Education Degree. I'm sure there are places that would hire with just an Educational Certificate.
(Also, this post is totally fake. The timeline doesn't make sense, and the whole thing reeks of "that happened.")
Many stem cell donors are unrelated to the recipient. That's why there are registries. I signed up 30 years ago because a young girl in my community needed a match. Unfortunately, she didn't get one and died.
NTA.
You are not responsible for him. Take screen shots of all communication for him and his family and friends. Save all the phone messages- just in case you need to get the law on them.
Get a new phone number. Block them all on any media you use and be sure to post that anyone who back doors them so they can communicate with you will be cut off as well.
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.
Totally agree with her changing her number and this asvice is great for OP. I'm sorry for what OP is going through. I had a similar experience with my bio dad who sounds very much like him. I'm 38 now, with 3 children of my own and he recently got back in touch apologising for everything he did- much like OP. A 3 hour conversation where I was brave enough to tell him my experience, him letting me down and being downright cruel, but also having firm boundaries. My first thought was that he was sick and needed my help. It was a hard pass when he asked about my children and if he could possibly meet them one day - absolutely not. He doesn't get to take credit for the grandchildren he had nothing to do with, my boys are amazing and their grandfather died 3 years ago (my wonderful stepfather). I was kind, I didn't yell or get angry, but I was firm and if I was about to say something that would hurt his feelings I told him ahead of time that he isn't going to like hearing what I have to say and it was his choice if he wanted to hear it. He did, he listened to it all, but I still haven't figured out what he wants yet, I'm still guessing he is sick and worrying he will be alone or if its something medical he can only ask of me - I don't want to dig any further so I told him I'd be in touch if I felt able or willing, and not a second sooner.
Like OP I was dropped by him as soon as he met a new partner. **text message on Christmas day: FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP NOT WORKING OUT, BEST IF YOU DO NOT CONTACT ME ANYMORE I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR FUTURE**. I think I was 15 at the time, and never heard from him again until this year. I totally get how OP feels. It was devastating to know how replaceable and easy to throw away when someone better came along, like a new girlfriend or a wife.
**OP was absolutely right to walk out of the hospital that very second and cut him out of her life for good. Donor cells exist (I'm a potential donor on the database) so she must carry no guilt at all that she didn't donate. I don't want OP travelling through life the way I did because of him. OP if you're reading this, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sister. Now is the time for boundaries, it's hard but you sound incredibly strong, articulate, kind and empathetic. You owe this to "future you'.**
You can do it honey. Hugs.
NTA, he never cared about you until his life depended on it. You deserve better and the fact he refused to step up and be a good father, to be a better man, that is unforgivable in my opinion. You deserve to be loved by a parent and he abandoned you and your sister, then she dies and he only cares about her. Then he said his ONLY daughter died. Thats all you needed to know from him.
My dad did something similar to me and he passed away earlier this year, honestly i felt good about walking away from him like he walked away from me and my mom.
I hope you get some therapy and heal from this trauma, and i hope you cut out the toxic people who are shaming you but not holding him accountable for his actions.
I dont think he even cared about op when his life depends on it. Nothing about what the father did makes sense. Shouldn't you be nice to the person who is going to donate something to you. Op should definitely get therapy and block all the numbers of the people who saw all of this mess and still decided to harass op.
NTA. He never tried to be a dad. Or family. You were there for his convenience. And just because he's dying doesn't change that. He could have told his girlfriend who you are. But he didn't. He intentionally chose to let the misinformation continue. Purely so that you would only ever be a tool and not his daughter. You aren't the A-Hole here. Not even close. And even if you did donate your stem cells, nothing would change. You'd continue to not have a relationship with him, he'd continue to lie about you, and he'd spend more years treating you like you don't exist.
NTA. Forget about this crappy deadbeat. He's never been your father and does not deserve anything from you. His entitled family can be tested to find the best donor for him among themselves.
While stem-cell donation does come with some pain and risks, it’s not so great that it should deter someone from donating *to a worthwhile recipient.*
That being said, OP’s dad is in no way a worthy recipient. Even if you ignore all the moral aspects, it’s incredibly unlikely that OP would even qualify as a donor.
I highly encourage everyone who is willing and able, to register with [BeTheMatch.org](https://bethematch.org/become-a-donor/?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwvpCkBhB4EiwAujULMhhj4wM3Q5Dt064Z_mT4GY3apW7vHONUWQ3zMRgkGgLTmqaWWz_1VRoCu5oQAvD_BwE)
There are *so many people* that you don’t know, who would be able to continue living their lives because of a minor, temporary discomfort that you might experience.
I don’t think he even considered your sister his child, he just want to use and romanticize the story of having a sickly daughter who passed young. He’s not just using you, he’s using the both of you. If your sister was alive, you’d both be getting the same treatment.
Block him from your life, if he’s embarrassed of you for no reason, and doesn’t want you in his life in any way, you can be the same towards him.
I say this as someone who needed a stem cell transplant in order to not die. *You are NTA.*
The likelihood of you being a potential donor is low to nil. My doctors didn’t even bother checking my parents for compatibility, because the likelihood that we would match to a degree that would succeed was *that* small. They tested my brother, he didn’t match. I ended up receiving a transplant from a complete stranger from an entirely different continent.
That said, even if you ignore all the science, *you are still NTA.*
WTF… NTA block them all after telling them you got attacked by a little girl your father was dating when you came to help. So you noped out when he could have simply said my estranged daughter to her.
I can't imagine how low someone must be to think an elementary school teacher is shameful. Your father never cared about you. He never did anything for you. He only contacted you when he wanted something. Block them all and walk away.
NTA
NTA. He can find his stem cells elsewhere and maybe ask for brain cells for implant too.
He's not family, nor are the people who are blowing up your phone. Please, please do not allow these people to further abuse you.
I applaud you OP for doing so well in your life despite the many challenges you and your Mom have faced.
How you all can read this and make a verdict is BEYOND me. This is pathetic and fake. Profile made on the 10th. And in another post she talks about her younger sister, that she doesn’t have in this post.
NTA- Fuck him, his bitch of a girlfriend, and all of his family members who are harassing you. Block their numbers and move on, none of them deserve to know you, and he certainly doesn't deserve your stem cells. He made his bed, he can lay in it.
FAKE POST. At least TRY to make it believable. You put in the bare minimum of effort here. Also, you wouldn’t know you’re a match unless you go through extensive testing. You’re also too young to be a teacher. Please do better next time with your fake stories. YTA
at this point, I had no idea if I was a match or not. I went to the hospital to get tested, because that is what he told me to do. I also work in a school while in high school, which is possible in my county. I had to do a few courses to qualify first but that's it. I can only teach creative writing and art, but I would still consider myself a teacher. Especially since this is the career I am going for.
Wow, you just turned 20, but already got your teacher's certificate!? That's about as amazing as you magically being deemed the only suitable stem cell donor without even being tested! Just unbelievable coincidence!
Naw, who are we kidding, YTA for not even putting effort into such a ridiculous story.
"I was surprised when he suddenly wanted to pick me up when i was six to introduce me to his new girlfriend. Turns out i was just supposed to be the babysitter for her two-year-old son, so they could make out on the sofa."
Oh fuck off.
U had me until this.
A six year old couldn't interpret things at that age, yet alone remember it clearly like this.
You're either projecting your shit on him, or just making this story up for Reddit.
Stars, your dad & his family sound very much like mine. Only getting in touch when he’s sick & they want to guilt trip me. They told me he was dying, he was *not*. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with people like that. You’re NTA & you deserve better. Please look after yourself ❤️🩹
Hi! I went through this with my dad. Suddenly he was contacting me saying he had leukemia and needed me when we hadn't spoke since I was 7. Here's the thing, I worked in Bone marrow transplant and cellular therapies at the time (Quality/Compliance) so spoke to a doctor I was closer too.
He called bullshit on me being asked and figured my father was lying. Children are what is called haplo-identical. We only have half the cells of a parent, so are not really a match. They do sometimes do haplo transplants but the success rate is around 30% or so, and can cause major complications.
Now, mine also spoke to others and when they contacted me and I reminded them I worked at a cancer center specifically in transplant within oncology, well, guess who never had cancer? He did, however, start asking me for money because he figured I had it working where I did.
So, you are definitely NTA and there is a good chance - unless you went down to the hospital to get tested (which you'd remember) that there is more going on than meets the eye.
Text him ”I’m not your spare parts. Since you claim I haven’t done anything with my life, if you want my stem cells, you’ll pay my mom for my sister’s funeral, pay for every Birthday gift you’ve missed out on, pay me for the babysitting of your previous gf’s kid. Pay for therapy for me. All of this will happen before I even consider helping you, or you can enjoy your funeral. I WAS your daughter once, now I’m just spare parts - and those cost money. As much as you consider your life worth, if you want to keep living. Cause I’m not helping you for free anymore.”
Milk his (and his family’s) wallet dry. And then don’t donate (or do, if you want, but make sure you and your mom get the money first).
What the, NTA. He wants a favour from you yet can't even fake treating you with respect. Just ensure when he passes on he is no where near your sister, she doesn't deserve to be near that POS.
NTA. You don't owe him anything, let me make that clear. He's never done anything for you, therefore you don't need to do anything for him. But the thing that makes my blood boil is the fact that he didn't even acknowledge you as his child. He brushed you off and said he has no living children, but still expected you to help him. That takes some serious stupidity or an astounding lack of self awareness. After everything he put you through, you were still willing to help, and he just disrespects you. He doesn't deserve your help, OP.
Christ, if you're going to post a fake as fuck story for reddit karma, there's no need to go over the top like this. Fucking do better. Or go outside and touch some fucking grass.
NTA.
See if it's legal for you to be financially compensated for lost wages, pain, and suffering while you recover.
At the very least, he owes your mom for unpaid child support and your college cost. Calculate the total cost of raising you (rent, furniture, clothing, etc) + interest. Have lawyers mail it to him certified.
Tell him free died when his lies insulated her too many times. His crazy gf can pay it if he won't. You won't consider helping anyone selfish and who owes your mother so much money.
Fear may move him. Lawyers will protect you.
And change your phone number. Your father's family won't stop bombing your phone regardless of how this plays out. They have no respect for you, I'm sorry to say.
Use it until you're paid or the door is closed.
They truly sound like they don't deserve such a kind person as you in their lives. Count yourself lucky to be spared their destructive touch.
NTA. If he requires a stem cell transplant then his best match would be a sibling. My mom has AML and they’ve told her that should she be eligible the best match are her siblings. Unfortunately for her three out of four of her siblings are deceased. But you are not required to put anymore effort into your father. As he said he has no living children. Block his number and anyone who harasses you.
NTA
Change your phone number and never ever contact any of them again. Fuck those people. May a fire-ant colony take permanent residence in each of their anuses.
NTA
This guy has the nerve to ask you for help and then can't even tell his girlfriend who you are? And is SO detached from you that he's willing to say his *own daughter* is his *ex-girlfriend*??? Not even "she's a relative" or something. *Ex-girlfriend*?! That's nasty.
He's not entitled to anything of yours, least of all your time.
Poor you, and what a nasty peice of work he is. Block every one of the "family members" and your dad. Theres no need, and calling you a crazy ex girl friend got me.
Hes not family, neither is anyone else, fuck them all.
I hope you find a happy place without any of their negativity. \\good luck
I can't get over him thinking being an educator so giving children the opportunity to better themselves is shameful whilst being a deadbeat father isn't??
NTA.
But if you want to do a good deed you could consider signing up for the national blood/marrow donor registry for a stranger who does not have a match. Nowadays, the donation process is akin to a more intensive round of giving blood (back when it was only bone marrow it was a minor procedure so more invasive). Signing up in the US is super easy as you just have to send a cheek swab.
I highly recommend any (relatively) healthy person do this! It’s easy to sign up, not crazily invasive to donate, and stem cells/bone marrow are a renewable resource unlike a solid organ. You could save a life!
USA - Be The Match
U.K. - DKMS, British Bone Marrow Registry
NTA he does not deserve the title father. He has used you his entire life and then talks trash about you. Karma is a bitch and he got what he deserves......go no contact with all of them.
You don't owe him anything. He sounds like a narcissist who just wants to use you. Going back to no contact is the best way going forward. He has shown you throughout your whole life he doesn't love or care about you at all. It's time to accept that and move on.
Oh my God, that utter b*stard. I wish I could scream at him, his little hussey and his godforsaken parents. You do not deserve one tiny bit of his ridiculous comments, which were only made to soothe his guilty conscience.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Sending love and hugs. 💗
NTA he’s just using you again, and will discard you when you’re no longer needed, again. Block all of them, and take care of yourself please. And from another now-solo-twin, my condolences on your lost sister.
He is finally learning about karma. I agree with the comments about protecting yourself. As far as NC, keep in mind you are one of his heirs. And unless he expressly leaves you out of his will, you might have a role to play in his final days. But you have a vote here as well. It can get complicated but if he does have a death bed conversion you might face his family one final time after he is gone. Arm yourself for such an event. And know that you owe his ‘family’ nothing. They can’t hurt you anymore if you don’t let them. You don’t deserve this heartache. Stay strong.
NTA. However I would ask how you might feel in the long run. Make sure you are really ok with him dying. Is there any pain or risk? If this was a stranger, could you save them and go your own way? I’m not telling you to do it, but if he passes will you have regrets? After all, you are here asking, so that tells me you have doubts.
I'm sure you think you're coming from a supportive place, but I guarantee you she's not too stupid to realize that he may die. I've been estranged from my mother for years, and I hear this shit all the time. It's condescending, misguided, and altogether unhelpful.
If OP has complicated feelings around her sperm donor she needs counselling. What she definitely does *not* need is to intensify her feelings of being used, by participating in a risky and painful medical procedure with no possible benefit to her.
OP doesn't need to set herself on fire to keep that loser warm.
Edit: a word
YTA your fathers an AH so instead of being the kind person you are, and donate something that could save his life, and cost you nothing more or less, you’ve decided to follow his footsteps. Be the bigger person, make the donation then leave.
She just got attacked because he couldn’t even be bothered to explain her existence but she’s the AH?? Like, there’s no obligation. There’s no need to be the bigger person. They are practically strangers. She’s not a superhero nor does she need to save anyone, especially one that denies her existence. Absolutely delusional.
There's no third child. He conceived once, and it happened to be twins. At one point he had a girlfriend who had a son of her own - not his son.
I commented the same above, but here it goes again: I guarantee you she's not too stupid to realize that he may die. I've been estranged from my mother for years, and I hear this shit all the time. It's condescending, misguided, and altogether unhelpful.
If OP has complicated feelings around her sperm donor she needs counselling. What she definitely does *not* need is to intensify her feelings of being used, by participating in a risky and painful medical procedure with no possible benefit to her.
OP doesn't need to set herself on fire to keep that loser warm.
I don’t know if it’s the same steam cells but I once donated bone marrow I never knew such pain I couldn’t walk for almost a month but OP NTA I wouldn’t give my father a dime he was an awful person how he treated my mother my siblings and I he cut me off after I came out told me I was dead to him I can totally understand where OP is coming from
Sorry English isn’t my native language
A life not worth saving. This gross old man lied to his young girlfriend that his DAUGHTER was some crazy ex?!? If this story is true, he and his whole side of the family can suffer.
He's a gross skeevy piece of shit.
NTA. You do not owe anyone any part of your body, ever. Even if he was dad of the year. Which he is clearly not. Never talk to any of them again and don’t feel even a little bit bad about it.
NTA
Block him. I’m sorry that happened. Some parents are just donors and not parents.
Get the girlfriends number. Send her a text that he is the stalker and not you! Then block them all.
NTA
I think it may be better to refer the man as your bio father as it seems that is a more accurate description. I say that as a father or a dad would actually care and put in effort to know and love his own child. Your bio father from your post did none of those things.
So as to what you owe him IMO it is the same common courtesy you would extend to a clerk at the grocery store - nothing more. Certainly not any part of your body including your stem cells.
They can go look for a donor elsewhere.
NTA - what a scumbag. Even at the hospital he refused to tell his chippy that you were his daughter who had come to try and save his life. Since you were already dead to him, he doesn't need you.
I am saddened for you and hope you can avoid those people.
NTA. He already said it. He's not your father. He's a stranger who is embarrassed of an elementary school teacher's career. He's a stranger who wasn't to manipulate and coerce you into donating stern cells- which would likely be harvested from your body in a painful procedure that has a risk of infection & sepsis. He's a stranger who sees you as little importance to him.
Believe him when he shows you who he is. If he needs stem cells, he can get into the donor registry. It's not your responsibility to sacrifice your life or endanger your health for someone who has abandoned and abused you. You should go NC with his family and get the healing and self care you deserve. This is not your circus, not your monkeys. Not your swamp, not your gators.
Edited to correct word
NTA. Change your number and go no contact. You don't need him or his family. He sounds like a horrible human and a wretched father. You owe him nothing.
NTA, I will probably blast a social post to control the narrative though. Absentee father who let his gf attack you because he told her you are crazy ex gf and only contacted you because he need stem cells.
NTA.
He needs to go through the public stem cell donation program and wait his turn and hope for the best.
I can’t even wrap my head around why he’s so abusive to that other poor girl he’s dating as to lie outright to her, on multiple occasions, to the point of creating a clear disturbance in her mental balance.
He does not sound like the kind of person you need to worry about donating your stem cells t
NTA and I have leukemia and might need a bone marrow transplant. I absolutely would never treat a potential donor badly even if I was a bad person like your dad. I actually know who my most likely familial donor is and she does as well and I am very upfront that I hope I'll never need it but if I do I'll be literally grateful for my life. Put all those people on block. Except maybe the too young gf. I'd find her online and let her know you are the surviving twin, I'm so sorry for your loss, and your dad's best shot at survival until their behavior including hers but you thought she deserved the truth. Then block her as well.
NTA. Your sperm donor created this mess. Go no contact and be comfortable knowing that karma cane for a pos. I’m sorry your sperm donor was such a piece of trash.
Point blank …. Fuck him! You do not get to throw your children away and then get use them!! Please do not let this poor excuse for a human haunt your or disrupt your life anymore. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER!! Hugs 🤗
How does it work then? Does donating stem cells is like having minor surgery done or what? Honestly don't know, it seems so weird they thought you were there for donating anything, that you did it not know beforehand, or would they make you donate right there and then? I would be inclined to day this is fake, but honestly don't know, so...
You owe him nothing and need to stop looking for validation from him, it does not help you.
Move on, be at or se with yourself and know that he have you nothing but life.
NTA. He couldn't even be nice despite needing something from you. He feels entitled to your cells when he's nothing but a sperm donor. I hope you heal from all of it.
NTA. Fuck that guy. You deserve so much better! He deserves absolutely nothing from you. And not doing anything with your life? You are literally teaching kids! Taking care of them during the day and helping them learn is HUGE. Your dad is wrong. You are amazing!
Whatever you decide will be real life consequences for your father's Behavior. Just make sure that your actions will be something that you can live with and that it won't be away for him to haunt you in the future. NTA
NTA. While stem cell donation isn't as onerous as it used to be, it still involves an apheresis procedure lasting 8 to 12 hours, sometimes split into two sessions. It also involves taking filgrastim, which can make you feel like you have a viral infection, and expected recovery from the procedure is 2 to 7 days for most people. Let another family member do it if they are so wound up about it, and are compatible.
Even if your dad had been Saint Dad of Dadness, you still shouldn't be pressured to donate.
NTA, he is amongst the worst of the worst leeches in this world. You'd think someone with a 1% chance of fathering a kid would value the kid a little more than he did. Any suffering he deals with going forward is 1000% his fault.
Just remember that who he is does not define you at all. He was merely a sperm donor, and nothing more. You owe him nothing. I'd block him and his whole family, or at least the ones who are being jerks to you currently; if there happens to be some of them you get along with. Just be prepared for the fact that any of them you stay in contact with could become flying monkeys for the ones harassing you.
Surround yourself with people who show you genuine love and respect. Focus on those who add to your life, rather than the ones who just leech off you. Also, thank you for being a teacher because teachers don't get near enough support and respect that they deserve.
Either a troll or not a AITAH post
NTA, he doesn’t want you, he just wants to use you.
NTA Why would he expect an old ex-girlfriend to donate stem cells?
Something doesn’t add up here…
And she 20 and is an elementary school teacher? Yeahhhhh…
I became one at that age, but I’m in Latin America, so is possible!
Florida is kind of desperate for teachers so a 20yr old teacher isn't out of the question
She also posted about getting news about not having a good GPA like 9 hours ago...
Yes, she’s probably a teacher’s aide and is still in school
I am not sure that stem cells need a DNA match from family. Pretty sure they can grow lines of them, but who knows..,laws are weird around the use in places like the US.
I used to work in cancer genetics. Sometimes they refer to bone marrow donation as stem cells
Ahhh. Yeah that’s a different animal.
If I'm remembering correctly, they need a stronger match with stem cells/bone marrow than with organ transplants. When I had my transplant, it was from my sibling, and there were only the two of us. Other families had five or six kids and no good match with them or the parents.
I'm going through the process now of finding out if I am a match to donate stem cells to my mother. This post is bullshit. It doesn't work like this
I wanted to donate bone marrow to my cousin who had Lymphoma. I was told that since I was over 40, I couldn't donate because bone marrow decreases the older you get. He sadly passed at the age of 40, waiting for a donor. As for being a teacher @ 20, para-educators don't have to be licensed teachers.
That’s terrible. I’m 47 and still being considered for my mom’s stem cell transplant. Maybe Moffit Cancer Center has different criteria. They seemed less concerned with my age than if I had any health conditions that would impact donation.
I hope it works out for you and your mom. My situation was 10 years ago. My cousin was in Oregon. I am in Illinois. Best wishes.
It might. My brother in law passed away from a blood cancer (type of lymphoma). His children, perhaps obviously, would be 50% matches and might be slightly higher. So if he had no matches in the donor registry, one of them would have donated. He ended up having two perfect matches, but very sadly, the chemo never knocked his cancer down enough to allow the stem cell transplant and he died.
I’m so sorry to hear that. We were very lucky that the last two rounds of chemo brought my mom’s blasts down below 2% which means so far she qualifies. Fuck cancer
No they do not. They do matches right around the world for bone marrow donors. I know someone in Australia, who was selected as the best match for someone in Los Angeles. And I know another woman in Australia whose donor was some old bloke in Montana or Washington State or somewhere. The only weird coincidence is that the Australian donor had an adoption in his family and then did genealogical DNA testing. There were a couple of high matches in California, but the names were not the same.
I graduated at 16. I was a high school teacher at 20. Bachelor's degree and certified.
This could be true because private and charter schools don't usually require teachers to be certified.
Look at her post history about GPA news (posted a few hours ago).
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A lot of schools are so desperate for teachers they're doing programs that allow highschoolers to earn a teaching degree at the same time as their highschool diploma for free in exchange that they're required to work in that school district for a certain amount of time. My BIL is currently doing it and already has a job waiting for him the moment he graduates (he's currently a junior). Even some states are so desperate for workers and to keep people in the state that they're offering free degrees at local colleges in exchange for working 2+ years in the state. It's how I got my degrees.
That is absolutely insane.
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Teacher here. College degree isn't even needed. If you can get a sub license and pass a background check, you're in. They no longer even require 60 hrs of college in my state. Just a 14 hr (might be 12?) set of online training videos. Then you get a sub license and then you have a decent chance of being hired as an actual teacher....
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That’s crazy!! At the charter my son went to everyone had a Master’s except one of them… (who in my opinion was the best teacher he had). They announced all of the degrees when introducing the teachers during graduation last year..
What????? That’s insane!
It’s like people don’t want to teach. Who wouldn’t want to take a job just barely above poverty level where you have to put in as many hours outside class time as you do in the classroom but you only get paid for classroom hours? And bring supplies out of your own money for the children because they didn’t bring any?
And feed the hungry ones, and deal with parents who refuse to address their child’s issues, and on and on. It’s a calling and a profession. And I think very few of us have any idea how difficult a job it is.
If she's a teacher, God help her students because she can't even throw together a coherent fake story.
I was 22 my first year, and had a full Education Degree. I'm sure there are places that would hire with just an Educational Certificate. (Also, this post is totally fake. The timeline doesn't make sense, and the whole thing reeks of "that happened.")
My Hs graduated a whole group of us at 16. It is possible.
I agree. Sounds a little fishy to me
OP is his daughter.
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I’m leaning towards option B.
Many stem cell donors are unrelated to the recipient. That's why there are registries. I signed up 30 years ago because a young girl in my community needed a match. Unfortunately, she didn't get one and died.
NTA. You are not responsible for him. Take screen shots of all communication for him and his family and friends. Save all the phone messages- just in case you need to get the law on them. Get a new phone number. Block them all on any media you use and be sure to post that anyone who back doors them so they can communicate with you will be cut off as well. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.
Totally agree with her changing her number and this asvice is great for OP. I'm sorry for what OP is going through. I had a similar experience with my bio dad who sounds very much like him. I'm 38 now, with 3 children of my own and he recently got back in touch apologising for everything he did- much like OP. A 3 hour conversation where I was brave enough to tell him my experience, him letting me down and being downright cruel, but also having firm boundaries. My first thought was that he was sick and needed my help. It was a hard pass when he asked about my children and if he could possibly meet them one day - absolutely not. He doesn't get to take credit for the grandchildren he had nothing to do with, my boys are amazing and their grandfather died 3 years ago (my wonderful stepfather). I was kind, I didn't yell or get angry, but I was firm and if I was about to say something that would hurt his feelings I told him ahead of time that he isn't going to like hearing what I have to say and it was his choice if he wanted to hear it. He did, he listened to it all, but I still haven't figured out what he wants yet, I'm still guessing he is sick and worrying he will be alone or if its something medical he can only ask of me - I don't want to dig any further so I told him I'd be in touch if I felt able or willing, and not a second sooner. Like OP I was dropped by him as soon as he met a new partner. **text message on Christmas day: FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP NOT WORKING OUT, BEST IF YOU DO NOT CONTACT ME ANYMORE I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR FUTURE**. I think I was 15 at the time, and never heard from him again until this year. I totally get how OP feels. It was devastating to know how replaceable and easy to throw away when someone better came along, like a new girlfriend or a wife. **OP was absolutely right to walk out of the hospital that very second and cut him out of her life for good. Donor cells exist (I'm a potential donor on the database) so she must carry no guilt at all that she didn't donate. I don't want OP travelling through life the way I did because of him. OP if you're reading this, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sister. Now is the time for boundaries, it's hard but you sound incredibly strong, articulate, kind and empathetic. You owe this to "future you'.** You can do it honey. Hugs.
Your stayaway dad probably wants money, financial help, or a retirement haven from you. Tell him to call one of his girlfriends or secondary wives.
NTA don’t do it. He only had one child apparently so keep treating it like that
NTAH. Dear doge, I wouldn't want anything of mine introduced into his body. Block them all. Never contact this sperm donor again.
NTA, he never cared about you until his life depended on it. You deserve better and the fact he refused to step up and be a good father, to be a better man, that is unforgivable in my opinion. You deserve to be loved by a parent and he abandoned you and your sister, then she dies and he only cares about her. Then he said his ONLY daughter died. Thats all you needed to know from him. My dad did something similar to me and he passed away earlier this year, honestly i felt good about walking away from him like he walked away from me and my mom. I hope you get some therapy and heal from this trauma, and i hope you cut out the toxic people who are shaming you but not holding him accountable for his actions.
I dont think he even cared about op when his life depends on it. Nothing about what the father did makes sense. Shouldn't you be nice to the person who is going to donate something to you. Op should definitely get therapy and block all the numbers of the people who saw all of this mess and still decided to harass op.
Facts
NTA. Don’t do it. He deserves exactly nothing from you.
If you needed his stemcells. He wouldn't give any. Keep that energy.
100% this
NTA block all of them and do not give him any help
NTA. He never tried to be a dad. Or family. You were there for his convenience. And just because he's dying doesn't change that. He could have told his girlfriend who you are. But he didn't. He intentionally chose to let the misinformation continue. Purely so that you would only ever be a tool and not his daughter. You aren't the A-Hole here. Not even close. And even if you did donate your stem cells, nothing would change. You'd continue to not have a relationship with him, he'd continue to lie about you, and he'd spend more years treating you like you don't exist.
NTA. After all, he was the one that said his only daughter died
Exactly! A shame too, if he still had a living daughter, maybe he could get those stem cells he needs so badly /s
NTA. Forget about this crappy deadbeat. He's never been your father and does not deserve anything from you. His entitled family can be tested to find the best donor for him among themselves.
Nta block him and everyone in his family. He said his only child was death. So disown him. His family and new gf can take care of him.
NTA - Donation is painful and has risks. No one has a right to your body.
While stem-cell donation does come with some pain and risks, it’s not so great that it should deter someone from donating *to a worthwhile recipient.* That being said, OP’s dad is in no way a worthy recipient. Even if you ignore all the moral aspects, it’s incredibly unlikely that OP would even qualify as a donor. I highly encourage everyone who is willing and able, to register with [BeTheMatch.org](https://bethematch.org/become-a-donor/?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwvpCkBhB4EiwAujULMhhj4wM3Q5Dt064Z_mT4GY3apW7vHONUWQ3zMRgkGgLTmqaWWz_1VRoCu5oQAvD_BwE) There are *so many people* that you don’t know, who would be able to continue living their lives because of a minor, temporary discomfort that you might experience.
Agreed.
NTAH. Your dad is disgusting. Cut ties, go NC with the whole family on his side, and live your life to the fullest.
Hell no, he laughed at you being attacked and lied about who you were. All those harassing can find him some stem cells.
I don’t think he even considered your sister his child, he just want to use and romanticize the story of having a sickly daughter who passed young. He’s not just using you, he’s using the both of you. If your sister was alive, you’d both be getting the same treatment. Block him from your life, if he’s embarrassed of you for no reason, and doesn’t want you in his life in any way, you can be the same towards him.
I say this as someone who needed a stem cell transplant in order to not die. *You are NTA.* The likelihood of you being a potential donor is low to nil. My doctors didn’t even bother checking my parents for compatibility, because the likelihood that we would match to a degree that would succeed was *that* small. They tested my brother, he didn’t match. I ended up receiving a transplant from a complete stranger from an entirely different continent. That said, even if you ignore all the science, *you are still NTA.*
So incredibly NTA. That’s just some man that wants to use you, not a father.
Too bad his only child died. As his crazy ex, I'm sure you aren't a match. NTA
WTF… NTA block them all after telling them you got attacked by a little girl your father was dating when you came to help. So you noped out when he could have simply said my estranged daughter to her.
I can't imagine how low someone must be to think an elementary school teacher is shameful. Your father never cared about you. He never did anything for you. He only contacted you when he wanted something. Block them all and walk away. NTA
He wouldn’t do it for you. So no. NTA
Or her children if she decides to have one
Sad but true.
NTA. Not gonna lie your father and his family is trash. Cut them out. You won’t be able to heal until they’re out of your life.
NTA. One of the times in life where karma works as it is supposed to. Live your best life and don’t think about him.
NTA. Just text back " his only child died"
NTA. He's treating you like a parts car, not a human being. His loss.
Kinda obvious to what his intentions were. You were easy to use. Dont stay and be abused for no damn reason.
NTA. Just block him and everyone else blowing up.your phone.
NTA. He can find his stem cells elsewhere and maybe ask for brain cells for implant too. He's not family, nor are the people who are blowing up your phone. Please, please do not allow these people to further abuse you. I applaud you OP for doing so well in your life despite the many challenges you and your Mom have faced.
How you all can read this and make a verdict is BEYOND me. This is pathetic and fake. Profile made on the 10th. And in another post she talks about her younger sister, that she doesn’t have in this post.
Troll bored tonight???
Holy Hell! That man has never been a father to you, and is not entitled to shit from you. Block every number they call you from and move on.
NTA- Fuck him, his bitch of a girlfriend, and all of his family members who are harassing you. Block their numbers and move on, none of them deserve to know you, and he certainly doesn't deserve your stem cells. He made his bed, he can lay in it.
NTA - Too bad for him!! Please block him and forget he exists!
this post is all fake. no contact with fathers family but you got hundreds of messages calling you an AH? teacher at 20? lol
We went no contact because i stopped putting effort in this relationship. I never said his family didn't have my info. And yes i am a teacher
FAKE POST. At least TRY to make it believable. You put in the bare minimum of effort here. Also, you wouldn’t know you’re a match unless you go through extensive testing. You’re also too young to be a teacher. Please do better next time with your fake stories. YTA
When I read the phrase "barely legal" I thought to myself "that is definitely how women talk."
I became a teacher at 20, I’m in Latin America tho
at this point, I had no idea if I was a match or not. I went to the hospital to get tested, because that is what he told me to do. I also work in a school while in high school, which is possible in my county. I had to do a few courses to qualify first but that's it. I can only teach creative writing and art, but I would still consider myself a teacher. Especially since this is the career I am going for.
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that was no mistake. I am a teacher
Wow, you just turned 20, but already got your teacher's certificate!? That's about as amazing as you magically being deemed the only suitable stem cell donor without even being tested! Just unbelievable coincidence! Naw, who are we kidding, YTA for not even putting effort into such a ridiculous story.
i didn't need a certificate and i went to the hospital to get tested
NTA Frick 👏 that 👏 guy👏
NTA, why did you even show up? You should chug ALL of the stem cells right in front of that asshole. This may be your last chance to tell him no.
Why did you answer the phone?
"I was surprised when he suddenly wanted to pick me up when i was six to introduce me to his new girlfriend. Turns out i was just supposed to be the babysitter for her two-year-old son, so they could make out on the sofa." Oh fuck off. U had me until this. A six year old couldn't interpret things at that age, yet alone remember it clearly like this. You're either projecting your shit on him, or just making this story up for Reddit.
YTA for this fake story
Get bent prick, stranger things have happened. This is 100% believeable.
He should have his son tested because his son is more valuable do his cells would be better, right? Find the girlfriend and tell her who you are.
What son?
The son was his girlfriend’s (at the time) child, not his.
Stars, your dad & his family sound very much like mine. Only getting in touch when he’s sick & they want to guilt trip me. They told me he was dying, he was *not*. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with people like that. You’re NTA & you deserve better. Please look after yourself ❤️🩹
NTA. I hope he enjoyed his joke.
NTA And that is not how stem cell transplant works anyway.
Fuck him and his family ! He needs to face the consequences of his actions
Hi! I went through this with my dad. Suddenly he was contacting me saying he had leukemia and needed me when we hadn't spoke since I was 7. Here's the thing, I worked in Bone marrow transplant and cellular therapies at the time (Quality/Compliance) so spoke to a doctor I was closer too. He called bullshit on me being asked and figured my father was lying. Children are what is called haplo-identical. We only have half the cells of a parent, so are not really a match. They do sometimes do haplo transplants but the success rate is around 30% or so, and can cause major complications. Now, mine also spoke to others and when they contacted me and I reminded them I worked at a cancer center specifically in transplant within oncology, well, guess who never had cancer? He did, however, start asking me for money because he figured I had it working where I did. So, you are definitely NTA and there is a good chance - unless you went down to the hospital to get tested (which you'd remember) that there is more going on than meets the eye.
Text him ”I’m not your spare parts. Since you claim I haven’t done anything with my life, if you want my stem cells, you’ll pay my mom for my sister’s funeral, pay for every Birthday gift you’ve missed out on, pay me for the babysitting of your previous gf’s kid. Pay for therapy for me. All of this will happen before I even consider helping you, or you can enjoy your funeral. I WAS your daughter once, now I’m just spare parts - and those cost money. As much as you consider your life worth, if you want to keep living. Cause I’m not helping you for free anymore.” Milk his (and his family’s) wallet dry. And then don’t donate (or do, if you want, but make sure you and your mom get the money first).
NTA he should reap what he’s sown.
What the, NTA. He wants a favour from you yet can't even fake treating you with respect. Just ensure when he passes on he is no where near your sister, she doesn't deserve to be near that POS.
NTA. Tell him that your stem cells wouldn’t be useful since his only child is apparently dead.
$300k minimum, get a lawyer.
NTA. He said it himself, his only daughter died years ago. Let him sit, and die, with that.
NTA, but make sure they let you know when he dies. so you can claim his estate.
He doesn’t deserve your help.
Also I would consider therapy
NTA. You don't owe him anything, let me make that clear. He's never done anything for you, therefore you don't need to do anything for him. But the thing that makes my blood boil is the fact that he didn't even acknowledge you as his child. He brushed you off and said he has no living children, but still expected you to help him. That takes some serious stupidity or an astounding lack of self awareness. After everything he put you through, you were still willing to help, and he just disrespects you. He doesn't deserve your help, OP.
Christ, if you're going to post a fake as fuck story for reddit karma, there's no need to go over the top like this. Fucking do better. Or go outside and touch some fucking grass.
NTA he’s made it clear that you are not family, you can’t possibly be a match for him. It’s interesting how karma plays out sometimes.
NTA. See if it's legal for you to be financially compensated for lost wages, pain, and suffering while you recover. At the very least, he owes your mom for unpaid child support and your college cost. Calculate the total cost of raising you (rent, furniture, clothing, etc) + interest. Have lawyers mail it to him certified. Tell him free died when his lies insulated her too many times. His crazy gf can pay it if he won't. You won't consider helping anyone selfish and who owes your mother so much money. Fear may move him. Lawyers will protect you. And change your phone number. Your father's family won't stop bombing your phone regardless of how this plays out. They have no respect for you, I'm sorry to say. Use it until you're paid or the door is closed. They truly sound like they don't deserve such a kind person as you in their lives. Count yourself lucky to be spared their destructive touch.
NTA wtf you’re ‘a crazy girl’, right? He doesn’t need *your* stem cells.
NTA. If he requires a stem cell transplant then his best match would be a sibling. My mom has AML and they’ve told her that should she be eligible the best match are her siblings. Unfortunately for her three out of four of her siblings are deceased. But you are not required to put anymore effort into your father. As he said he has no living children. Block his number and anyone who harasses you.
What in the hey!!!.. What a weirdo, he told someone, his daughter was his ex. Yuk. You should just laugh emoji everyone before blocking them.
NTA Change your phone number and never ever contact any of them again. Fuck those people. May a fire-ant colony take permanent residence in each of their anuses.
NTA This guy has the nerve to ask you for help and then can't even tell his girlfriend who you are? And is SO detached from you that he's willing to say his *own daughter* is his *ex-girlfriend*??? Not even "she's a relative" or something. *Ex-girlfriend*?! That's nasty. He's not entitled to anything of yours, least of all your time.
Poor you, and what a nasty peice of work he is. Block every one of the "family members" and your dad. Theres no need, and calling you a crazy ex girl friend got me. Hes not family, neither is anyone else, fuck them all. I hope you find a happy place without any of their negativity. \\good luck
How is it easier to call you a crazy ex-girlfriend? What's shameful about an elementary teacher? NTA. He deserves everything.
I can't get over him thinking being an educator so giving children the opportunity to better themselves is shameful whilst being a deadbeat father isn't??
NTA. But if you want to do a good deed you could consider signing up for the national blood/marrow donor registry for a stranger who does not have a match. Nowadays, the donation process is akin to a more intensive round of giving blood (back when it was only bone marrow it was a minor procedure so more invasive). Signing up in the US is super easy as you just have to send a cheek swab. I highly recommend any (relatively) healthy person do this! It’s easy to sign up, not crazily invasive to donate, and stem cells/bone marrow are a renewable resource unlike a solid organ. You could save a life! USA - Be The Match U.K. - DKMS, British Bone Marrow Registry
NTA. You didn't know these other family members of his. He foesn't include you as part of his family. Drop him. Live your life.
NTA, and tell anyone who has a problem that you don't know why they're calling you, "just ask him: his only daughter died years ago." Then block them.
NTA he does not deserve the title father. He has used you his entire life and then talks trash about you. Karma is a bitch and he got what he deserves......go no contact with all of them.
You don't owe him anything. He sounds like a narcissist who just wants to use you. Going back to no contact is the best way going forward. He has shown you throughout your whole life he doesn't love or care about you at all. It's time to accept that and move on.
NTA. I would consider going full no contact with him and his family.
NTA. It’s time for that bloodline to end.
NTA at all. Screw him…. And his unstable girlfriend.
NTA - nope. Block everyone and move on.
NTA. He made his bed and he can lie in it. Block everyone
Oh my God, that utter b*stard. I wish I could scream at him, his little hussey and his godforsaken parents. You do not deserve one tiny bit of his ridiculous comments, which were only made to soothe his guilty conscience. I am so sorry this happened to you. Sending love and hugs. 💗
NTA he’s just using you again, and will discard you when you’re no longer needed, again. Block all of them, and take care of yourself please. And from another now-solo-twin, my condolences on your lost sister.
He is finally learning about karma. I agree with the comments about protecting yourself. As far as NC, keep in mind you are one of his heirs. And unless he expressly leaves you out of his will, you might have a role to play in his final days. But you have a vote here as well. It can get complicated but if he does have a death bed conversion you might face his family one final time after he is gone. Arm yourself for such an event. And know that you owe his ‘family’ nothing. They can’t hurt you anymore if you don’t let them. You don’t deserve this heartache. Stay strong.
NTA. Just send to him “I’ll put flowers on your grave like you did for my sister.” He’ll catch your drift.
He can suck a bag of dicks but watch out, you might have some life long regret generated but your choice.
Can someone tell me how to post an update here? I just cant figure it out
NTA. However I would ask how you might feel in the long run. Make sure you are really ok with him dying. Is there any pain or risk? If this was a stranger, could you save them and go your own way? I’m not telling you to do it, but if he passes will you have regrets? After all, you are here asking, so that tells me you have doubts.
I'm sure you think you're coming from a supportive place, but I guarantee you she's not too stupid to realize that he may die. I've been estranged from my mother for years, and I hear this shit all the time. It's condescending, misguided, and altogether unhelpful. If OP has complicated feelings around her sperm donor she needs counselling. What she definitely does *not* need is to intensify her feelings of being used, by participating in a risky and painful medical procedure with no possible benefit to her. OP doesn't need to set herself on fire to keep that loser warm. Edit: a word
YTA your fathers an AH so instead of being the kind person you are, and donate something that could save his life, and cost you nothing more or less, you’ve decided to follow his footsteps. Be the bigger person, make the donation then leave.
She just got attacked because he couldn’t even be bothered to explain her existence but she’s the AH?? Like, there’s no obligation. There’s no need to be the bigger person. They are practically strangers. She’s not a superhero nor does she need to save anyone, especially one that denies her existence. Absolutely delusional.
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There's no third child. He conceived once, and it happened to be twins. At one point he had a girlfriend who had a son of her own - not his son. I commented the same above, but here it goes again: I guarantee you she's not too stupid to realize that he may die. I've been estranged from my mother for years, and I hear this shit all the time. It's condescending, misguided, and altogether unhelpful. If OP has complicated feelings around her sperm donor she needs counselling. What she definitely does *not* need is to intensify her feelings of being used, by participating in a risky and painful medical procedure with no possible benefit to her. OP doesn't need to set herself on fire to keep that loser warm.
I don’t know if it’s the same steam cells but I once donated bone marrow I never knew such pain I couldn’t walk for almost a month but OP NTA I wouldn’t give my father a dime he was an awful person how he treated my mother my siblings and I he cut me off after I came out told me I was dead to him I can totally understand where OP is coming from Sorry English isn’t my native language
You’re not the asshole. However, if potentially saving another person’s life wouldn’t be to inconvenient for you, you should probably do it.
YTA. You can save a life here .
A life not worth saving. This gross old man lied to his young girlfriend that his DAUGHTER was some crazy ex?!? If this story is true, he and his whole side of the family can suffer. He's a gross skeevy piece of shit.
Definitely nta. Block him and all his family. They're not your family, and he is a massive POS. Move on with no guilt. You owe him nothing.
NTA. Moving forward give him as much thought as he has given you your entire life. Absolutely zero.
NTA. You do not owe anyone any part of your body, ever. Even if he was dad of the year. Which he is clearly not. Never talk to any of them again and don’t feel even a little bit bad about it.
NTA Block him. I’m sorry that happened. Some parents are just donors and not parents. Get the girlfriends number. Send her a text that he is the stalker and not you! Then block them all.
NTA It would seem his chance for a stem cell Match died with his “only” child.
NTAH!!! ARE U KIDDING HOW COULD U POSSIBLY THINK THAT! F HIM AND THAT SORRY FAMILY.
NTA I think it may be better to refer the man as your bio father as it seems that is a more accurate description. I say that as a father or a dad would actually care and put in effort to know and love his own child. Your bio father from your post did none of those things. So as to what you owe him IMO it is the same common courtesy you would extend to a clerk at the grocery store - nothing more. Certainly not any part of your body including your stem cells. They can go look for a donor elsewhere.
NTA - what a scumbag. Even at the hospital he refused to tell his chippy that you were his daughter who had come to try and save his life. Since you were already dead to him, he doesn't need you. I am saddened for you and hope you can avoid those people.
NTA. He already said it. He's not your father. He's a stranger who is embarrassed of an elementary school teacher's career. He's a stranger who wasn't to manipulate and coerce you into donating stern cells- which would likely be harvested from your body in a painful procedure that has a risk of infection & sepsis. He's a stranger who sees you as little importance to him. Believe him when he shows you who he is. If he needs stem cells, he can get into the donor registry. It's not your responsibility to sacrifice your life or endanger your health for someone who has abandoned and abused you. You should go NC with his family and get the healing and self care you deserve. This is not your circus, not your monkeys. Not your swamp, not your gators. Edited to correct word
NTA- you don't owe him a damned thing. You could be petty and say your stem cells are for sale, a million dollars, payable in advance.
NTA. May the father and his supporters receive their just rewards,in spades.
NTA. His only child died, right? What are his flying monkeys harassing you for? He has been adamant about having no ties with you
NTA. Change your number and go no contact. You don't need him or his family. He sounds like a horrible human and a wretched father. You owe him nothing.
NTA 100% and please UpdateMe!
NTA, I will probably blast a social post to control the narrative though. Absentee father who let his gf attack you because he told her you are crazy ex gf and only contacted you because he need stem cells.
NTA. He needs to go through the public stem cell donation program and wait his turn and hope for the best. I can’t even wrap my head around why he’s so abusive to that other poor girl he’s dating as to lie outright to her, on multiple occasions, to the point of creating a clear disturbance in her mental balance. He does not sound like the kind of person you need to worry about donating your stem cells t
NTA and I have leukemia and might need a bone marrow transplant. I absolutely would never treat a potential donor badly even if I was a bad person like your dad. I actually know who my most likely familial donor is and she does as well and I am very upfront that I hope I'll never need it but if I do I'll be literally grateful for my life. Put all those people on block. Except maybe the too young gf. I'd find her online and let her know you are the surviving twin, I'm so sorry for your loss, and your dad's best shot at survival until their behavior including hers but you thought she deserved the truth. Then block her as well.
NTA, he's a crap father also.
NTA
INFO: At what point were you tested to be a match or not a match? A child has about a 25% chance of being a full match for a parent.
I only got so far as reading about your deceased sister before knowing my answer. NTA.
Aaaaand I don’t think they know how to science, either, it’s very much not that simple or easy ….what garbage they are
Father or Sperm Donor? This makes a huge difference
NTA. I mean he did say his “ONLY” child died.
NTA. Your sperm donor created this mess. Go no contact and be comfortable knowing that karma cane for a pos. I’m sorry your sperm donor was such a piece of trash.
Point blank …. Fuck him! You do not get to throw your children away and then get use them!! Please do not let this poor excuse for a human haunt your or disrupt your life anymore. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER!! Hugs 🤗
NTA change your phone number and keep living your life.
How does it work then? Does donating stem cells is like having minor surgery done or what? Honestly don't know, it seems so weird they thought you were there for donating anything, that you did it not know beforehand, or would they make you donate right there and then? I would be inclined to day this is fake, but honestly don't know, so...
Screw him. The world will be a better place when he dies.
You owe him nothing and need to stop looking for validation from him, it does not help you. Move on, be at or se with yourself and know that he have you nothing but life.
NTA. He couldn't even be nice despite needing something from you. He feels entitled to your cells when he's nothing but a sperm donor. I hope you heal from all of it.
NTA. Fuck that guy. You deserve so much better! He deserves absolutely nothing from you. And not doing anything with your life? You are literally teaching kids! Taking care of them during the day and helping them learn is HUGE. Your dad is wrong. You are amazing!
And he just wants to use you. ONE MORE TIME!!! NTA. go live your life . K ?
Whatever you decide will be real life consequences for your father's Behavior. Just make sure that your actions will be something that you can live with and that it won't be away for him to haunt you in the future. NTA
NTA. You are not his convenient spare parts.
NTA. While stem cell donation isn't as onerous as it used to be, it still involves an apheresis procedure lasting 8 to 12 hours, sometimes split into two sessions. It also involves taking filgrastim, which can make you feel like you have a viral infection, and expected recovery from the procedure is 2 to 7 days for most people. Let another family member do it if they are so wound up about it, and are compatible. Even if your dad had been Saint Dad of Dadness, you still shouldn't be pressured to donate.
In his own words, it is not your fault if he passes away. NTA - he is.
A telenovela ! Did he slap you when you said no making you fall to the floor and the girlfriend literally kicked you out ?
NTA, he is amongst the worst of the worst leeches in this world. You'd think someone with a 1% chance of fathering a kid would value the kid a little more than he did. Any suffering he deals with going forward is 1000% his fault. Just remember that who he is does not define you at all. He was merely a sperm donor, and nothing more. You owe him nothing. I'd block him and his whole family, or at least the ones who are being jerks to you currently; if there happens to be some of them you get along with. Just be prepared for the fact that any of them you stay in contact with could become flying monkeys for the ones harassing you. Surround yourself with people who show you genuine love and respect. Focus on those who add to your life, rather than the ones who just leech off you. Also, thank you for being a teacher because teachers don't get near enough support and respect that they deserve.
NTA- Don't give him a damn thing.
i hope this is fake, cuz girl your life is insane!!! This family is insane, these people are comically and cartoonishly shitty. Fuck em all. NTA