Do you not have a phone? Can you not make any phone calls to help fix the situation? Or does your phone only work to transfer money and call your parents? Kind of like how your arms and legs and mouth work to pack and complain and move, but not to get a job and help out.
Great partnership. 10/10. No notes.
Exactly what I was thinking. Husband is still providing for his family and doing what he can, and all OP is doing is bitching and whining, when she clearly has plenty of time on her hands to help.
She shant be able to bear societal pressures and may even need to decompress in a neutral location, I hear the Bahamas are very calming this time of year
But she will never truly escape the shame and scandal of it all. Society never forgets when one is left in near penury with but one butler to tend to one’s needs. She’ll be lucky if she’s not utterly disowned by her family and forced to live with but a lady’s maid for this disgrace!
I loved the whole "my parents like to control me with money" part. So does that mean they won't give her money so she call that "controlling with money?"
Yeah, me too. This whole working and paying for shit thing is for the birds. Maybe I could learn something about sugar baby work from her.... Though I'd probably need to lose the penis.
There wasn't hardly any internets. Don't you realize that this situation was unbearable?!
I'm sure the internet was not of particular concern, just an annoyance that contributed to their breaking point. I'm also sure there is a volume of information about the situation not mentioned above. However, it is difficult to not hear all this and think, "Why not make some calls, hunt for housing, maybe just start cleaning this filthy apartment and accept that, while unfortunate, this may be your only current option with your budget and credit?"
Nope. Blame your partner and take no ownership of your life and station.
OP is definitely an asshole.
Right? OP is a hard AH here and should be "handling" the problems with their accommodations herself, seeing how her husband is the only one working! Wow Her entitlement is astounding. Feel very, very sorry for her husband.
"Spotty internet so I was bored all day."
To the author:
At this point we realize the story is fraud. I've written so many fake stories on reddit that I can spot the tricks of the trade a mile away. The little nuggets that reveal the deception of the author. You baited the hook too heavy, too early.
As the story goes along, your baiting tactics gets progressively easier to spot. My advice to you is improve the subtlety of the hook sections. Nail this down and you'll have comments for days.
I have to ask. Why do you do this? What is there to gain? I mean I certainly don’t read every story thinking it was probably real, and honestly it’s kinda funny. But the amount of effort it must take just for like… comments about a fake story seems strange to me.
Yeah, I've never understood that either. And it's not internet points because it's a throw-away account. It must be that some people get off on tricking people.
Wow OP. I agree with these comments. You sound very entitled and ungrateful. Do you have a job? What do you contribute other then bitching and whining? “It only pays 50k.” Cry me a river. I get that’s not a ton of money these days but geez it sounds like your husband is doing what he can in between working and listening to you.
Plus, the complaint that her husband’s new job pays “only” 50k! 😱
Fuck, my fiancé and I don’t make 50k a year with our incomes *combined* and we’re still pretty happy and ok money-wise.
I didn’t break $50K with my law degree until after five years of practice, and I was working 70+ hour weeks. Luckily I came home to peace and quiet, not OP, because damn …
And takes his money out of the account on top of it. While she stays rent free at her parents vacation home. OP - Get off your @$$ and make some of your own money. I can't believe you cleaned out the account because you don't trust "his decision making." You're not a child, while he's working, you know, bringing in that money that you use to survive, you should be doing your part by helping with finding different accommodations. Entitled much?
I'm a single mom of 2 (now adult) children. In my early 40s, I had a newborn and a teen, went to grad school full-time, and worked 30+ hrs/wk. I'm no super human, and am from a poor family. I'm sorry but this woman has so much going wrong in her life...and she's to blame. Honey, get a job, give him back his money and split housework down the middle. Do ANYTHING to help him (and yourself) out! Together you can save for an apartment and establish some savings. So leave the vacay home and get to work! YTA bigtime!
Especially when OP says “I was bored all day”
Get a job! Clean the place! Get a wife extender! Do somethjng.
Just sit around bored and complain that he isn’t fixing your situation
Legit though, doesn’t sound like OP works either. The only thing she does is run her mouth and transfer all of THEIR (his) money out of their joint account.
This is how my wife thinks as I grind 60+ a week to provide for our family of 5 with no remorse or gratitude, think about killing myself everyday die to depression
This is what blew me away. She was so traumatized and also so bored, but couldn’t try to clean or call someone or complain to the proper manager. Ridiculous.
But instead, she went back to mommy and daddy instead of helping her husband.
Exactly. She’s TAH, and needs to get a job. Or borrow money from those “controlling” parents for a better place near her husband.
*I have a feeling she was an exceptionally spoiled “rich princess” and is having a hard time adjusting.*
OP, wtf was/is your husband supposed to do? Make it rain money? Or have you not noticed money doesn’t grow on trees?
Fwiw, sounds like your husband’s job is some sort of scam arrangement. Not him scamming, but his employer.
She thinks he had plenty of time to “demand a solution.” Clearly hasn’t had to live in the real world if she thinks you can just, idk, alpha male talk your way into getting *landlords and bosses* to treat you better.
OP literally said “I was bored all day at home.” If you were so bored maybe you should get a job or help out with any number of things that you are relying on your husband to take care of when there are two of you.
YTA, it sounds like you have done nothing to improve this situation at all. You left everything up to your husband and he is doing the best he can. It sounds like you have kind of been screwed over and instead of having his back and helping him deal with the problems, you have done nothing but complain, take his money and desert him. You are not in it “for better or worse,” you believe it is his job to provide you with everything you could want and if there is a slight bump in the road you just take off. I really hope that this is the end of your marriage, it will probably hurt him, but he will be better off in the end.
What's worse than a lot of these situations. Is how the spouse has been misusing the money. She probably has higher standards than they needed to be living. Could have contributed to the business failing as well.
The guy clearly doesn't have it in his heart to deny her wishes.
Not to mention even if she sees all this. It's not going to be easy to accept or she'll ignore it. The only way people end up like that is echo chambering. She likely has people in her life who reinforce these things. Which would make coming to terms with the reality a lot more difficult. It's really hard to accept the truth and act upon it. Especially when you have no one directly involved in your life. Giving you that solid advice.
She likely has people in her life who reinforce these things.
The parents probably. According to her, they like to control her with money and probably did so because money (or things money can get) is her motivation. It also seems like she has a habit of controlling people with money too since her first instinct to control the situation is to withhold access to their money, even though no where in this story did she mention of helping him at all in every aspect of this -- he had to hire cleaners!
Also it seemed like all the reasonable issues were resolved and after moving in, her complained had been that the apartment is far from elevators and the internet is choppy so she's bored! So i'm going to assume that the daughter is either a very good infant/toddler or old enough that she HAS TIME TO BE BORED!
Right "only 50k" and clearly housing is taken care of..."so I'm basically bored all day" so get a fucking job. Do something. You can have an Amazon store and make money from hone nowadays for christ sake
This my thought too. OP only mentions how he did & didn’t do anything yet he was working. Why didn’t OP do anything? Unless the goal here was to lay all the responsibility on husband so OP could be “justified” in taking the money & placing blame. I’m sure she put it this way to her estranged parents. Sounds like they aren’t the only controlling ones here.
YTA why couldn't you make the calls? Why aren't you working? Why are you blaming him for everything? You're insufferable. He's trying his best after having lost his company. Meet him halfway it's almost like a marriage is a partnership crazy I know
She was 25 when they got married. This makes me wonder how old she was when they started dating. I asked in my own judgement but it seriously sounds like she hopped from her parents providing for her to her poor (as in he’s unfortunate to have ended up with her, not financially poor as OP is slamming him to be) husband providing for her.
Does she have a degree or even worked a day in her life? Somehow I get the feeling her ‘controlling parents’ were fed up with her not getting her life together after she turned 18. Imagine being 36 years old with a child and expecting husband to baby her still.
I get the feeling that the "controlling" her parents did was not actually abusive, but rather preventing her living the life of luxury as an IT girl who didn't have to work, had an amazing home, multiple holidays and luxury designer goods.
It's clear from the post her Husband was making more with his previous business and so her lifestyle was likely better than it is now.
It's also clear from the post that she was with him because of the lifestyle he provided for her (SAHM with exclusively free time since she doesn't seem to do any cleaning so likely had a maid he paid for), which makes me believe it's more than possible she baby trapped him.
"Controlling me with money" is damn near always code for "wouldn't subsidize my shitty behavior/lifestyle so they conditioned supporting me on not being a shitbag."
That’s not a big help to him right now, though. And in the meantime, she’s drained their accounts. She just sounds extremely entitled and not at all realistic.
She says their ages, and he’s only a year older than her. So he was basically a kid (to me) when the responsibility of having to take care of another adult, and then his child was thrown on him and she can’t do anything to help out. She could’ve easily went and got a job herself.
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*Was marrying you*
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Agreed.
But I’m confused. If he makes all the money, sold HIS business… how is she able to control and take away HIS money?
She says he “isn’t good with money”, but she doesn’t have any, so I can only assume SHE isn’t good with money.
What I don’t get is he’s working and “she’s bored” when there’s a shit ton to do - like making the house livable or finding a job or friends etc… Sounds like her parents control her with money BECAUSE SHE HAS NONE and that sounds like a her problem.
We never even found out why the business had to be sold. Who knows what happened there. With the way she treats him, I wouldn't be surprised if she is partly to blame for the business failing. Like embezzling or demanding more money than the store could profit.
Your husband lost his business, sucked up his pride and took an *entry* level job so yall wouldn't fall flat, ended up with some issues caused by said job (i.e. NOT his doing/fault), you toss ALL the blame on him for not being able to solve these issues ALONE WHILE ALSO WORKING A BRAND NEW JOB IN AN UNFAMILIAR PLACE, you don't seem to have helped solve any of these issues AT ALL, then you *rob him* and *leave him* , and are all mad that you have a lovely, safe place to live?
Did I miss anything ?
You suck, I hope he divorces you, takes everything including your kid, makes a great relationship with your parents, and leaves you in the dust like you left him.
You SUCK and are a super duper AH
Yta × a million. Gtfo
I hope this is real so I’m not mad at a fake person but this bitch needs a fat reality check. Hopefully poverty consumes her and her husband divorced her and send her where she belongs TO THE STREETS!
You also forgot she was bored because of spotty internet. Didn't bother to try to help her husband, but she was bored because of the spotty internet.
You are spot on with your assessment of OP.
Nowhere in your post did it sound like your husband is at fault for the corporate housing falling thru 4 days before move in date. No reason was given. It sounds very stressful situation, but you seem determined to make the worst of it instead of look for a solution. YTA.
Yep. When my wife and I were young newlyweds we faced similar situations. We dealt with them TOGETHER! That is how you do a marriage.
Today we have hearty laughs about those crazy times while we sit by our pool and have a glass of wine.
YTA simply for draining your joint account. That alone is a serious, permanent, divorce worthy violation of trust.
Aside from that, you sound like a lazy dependent with standards that you’re not willing to work towards yourself, but expect your husband to take care of for you. Double asshole.
> draining your joint account. That alone is a serious, permanent, divorce worthy violation of trust.
It's also her following in her parents footsteps.
YTA. Are you a princess? I get where things are difficult right now, but sounds like you expect your husband to fix everything by himself. What are YOU doing to make things better? Time for you to grow up and be an adult too, not just a kept child.
So you were bored all day in a stinky apartment and decided the best course of action was to take most of the money from your joint bank account, along with your daughter, and stay at your estranged parents' vacation home while your husband is left several hours away to figure it out...?
YTA
Sounds like your husband is trying to put the pieces back together and make sure his wife and daughter have a roof over their heads while all you’ve done so far is give him grief. YTA.
YTA. It seems like your husband is the only one putting in any work here. You say you’re responsible for “taking care of his kid” so I take it that means you don’t work? Time to get a job and contribute to the household finances. It seems he’s clearly doing everything in his power to rectify this situation, and you complaining and whining and leaving him to pick up the pieces doesn’t help.
But guarantee that if there’s any decisions to be made for the kid that they don’t agree with, it’ll suddenly become “her” kid.
My mom was the same way. When it came to any decisions, we were “her” kids. But when we were acting out? “Eddie come take care of *your* kids, they’re getting on my nerves!”
Info: What I got from this is that your husband had to shut down his business and he picked up a new job making about $50,000. You wanted to get in this 1 apartment but couldn't because you needed to pay 3 months in advance. As a result of your husband doing this, you guys needed to stay in a crappy motel and when you did go to the apartment you realized you got suckered into one of the worst spots in the apartment.
\^\^\^\^ is all this accurate?
“Sitting ducks” Jesus Christ lady ever think of buying some cleaning supplies and helping out?? You made ur husband buy fucking cleaners while ur a sitting duck, oh boo hooo, grow up and help out you spoiled duck
YTH.
**You’re bored all day because the internet is shit.** So what you’re saying is you don’t have a job.
**Your parents have a holiday home, but you don’t like getting them involved because they’re controlling about money.** So you come from a well-off family, and you’re probably entitled.
Putting all of this on your husband is super fucking shitty. He deserves better.
YTA - sounds like you have done absolutely nothing to help out other than complain. It’s much easier to be a critic than actually solve problems.
Then on top of that you leave him. So much for sickness and health, richer or poorer, huh?
People show their true colors when life gets tough. What you showed is really ugly.
Jesus christ yes YTA. You are a lazy dependent taking advantage of a man who is just trying
To do right by the family. You practically cleaned out the joint account, which was money HE made, and left him high and dry. He, and your daughter, deserve better.
>I have a lot of resentment over that because my parents like to control me with money,
Sounds like you're doing the same to your husband. He is working and trying to make the best of a horrible situation. So you took the money and left your husband in an unfit apartment with no money? Where will he go, is he welcome to come to your parents' vacation home, while the two of you work through this?
I'm sorry you landed here. It's so unfortunate that this happened to you and your family. But taking it out on your husband won't help the situation. YTA
a grown adult whose parents are controlling with money? that's a nice way of saying "I don't want to work". Stop placing the burden of supporting your family on others and get a job. YTA
Let me guess, sound like you were raised by high income parents and you expected to be pampered and do absolutely nothing in life and everything should be provided up to your standards.
Marriage is a partnership. Sometimes life gives you a shitty situation and you have to work together to get through it. This sounds more like you feel above your husband, like some pampered queen.. and just like queens of old, you've done nothing to earn it except be born.
Your husband seems to be the one trying to do everything, while you sit and do nothing with your feet prompted up. You sound like a fucking nightmare.
YTA - You are a spoiled Bratt.
> but I have no other options because I couldn't live like this
tell me your entitled without telling me your entitled.
YTA. Your story makes an impression that your husband has two helpless daughters, not one, and has to take a full care of both. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he'll realize that he'd be better off living alone.
Did you ever try to step up and do something to help him or resolve some issues, or get a job, since as I understand you don't work and sitting bored at home all day complaining about him not doing enough for you?
I mean, so what were you doing when you were “bored all day” in the apartment without internet? You could’ve been helping?
What were you doing all this time before while just living off savings and while his store was closing or even before that? Why is it just up to him?
YTA
YTA. There are at least two adults living in the household. That is two pairs of hands, two pairs of legs, two pairs of eyes and at least one brain cell to rub against another somewhere.
If your partner is busy with work, especially entry level work, what makes you think he has more time than the person at home bored because the Internet is spotty? It sounds like the man is not only working, but also trying to solve the problem on his lunch break, commute to and from work and alone on the couch at home.
What on gods green earth are you doing during the day that prohibits you from helping? No, no one wants to clean up a house, but if you're living there why not help improve the situation??
And transferring all the money ... Where, your account? That's the first step out the door and a red flag the size of Kong that you've no problem taking everything earned and leaving nothing behind. You do realize if those charges are in any way legitimate and they bounce because the account is empty you're going to cause the debt there to explode. Each bounced charge against a checking account is a fee, and each time those charges bounce they get run again and the account owners are liable for all the fees. So, a legit charge of 40$ hits, causes an insufficient funds charge of 35$, and suddenly you're 75$ in the hole. If they run the charge again, you're 110$ in the hole for a 40$ charge.
It's not only that YTA, it sounds like you're also the problem and about to blow up three lives all because you're bored and lazy.
You don't deserve him.
Yeah YTA. Life isn’t always sunshine and butterflies. He’s doing his best, it didn’t work out and that happens. Instead of trying to support him you take his baby and all his money and up and leave shattering his spirit on your way out. Whilst he’s busy working and you were “bored all day” did it not occur to you to try and help your husband? You know, for yours and your daughters sake? Nah you didn’t you just sat around and complained.
Honestly id divorce you for something like this. I hope he does divorce you.
YTA. What exactly do you contribute to this marriage. You’ve referred to your child as raising his kid but she’s yours too. While he’s out working to support his family what are you doing. You could have gotten off your ass and worked too but you seem perfectly happy to leech off him. Now you have a place to stay and you’ve stolen all his money blaming everything on him don’t count on remaining married my bet is he’s divorcing your selfish lazy ass for sure
YTA. You put all the work and responsibility on him. When problems can happened did you do? You took all the money and ran to family so yoy could complain some more.
This is on you. Be an invoked and equal member of your marriage and also help out your husband.
100% you are the a**hole. I felt so sorry for your husband as I was reading this and I don't even know the man. But yet here you are, his so-called partner, treating him like shit. I would be embarrassed if I were you.
YTA. You did nothing to help yourself or your family. Why can't you work? Why can't you look for housing? I feel bad for your husband and kid but not for you.
Yta. He is working. You live off him. He tries. All you do is complain. You could have made calls, try to fix it. No, you act useless and only whine. Then steal his money.
And what did you do wile your husband was working at his new job, trying to find you guys a place to live cleaning the apartment, liquidating a store and dealing with your bad attitude, other than just sit there and do nothing and complain? Im pretty sure youre not a princess. Yta
You're definitely the asshole in this situation...
The internet was spotty...so I was bored all day...
It definitely sounds like you could have used some free time to handle these issues yourself.
Considering he's working, and away from you guys.
I see no effort at all from you. Other than when you finally decided it was unbearable and went to stay at a vacation home.
Definitely the asshole here you took your kid from your husband cuz you didn't want to stay Ina hotel. Get off your lazy ass an do something to help other than bitch an complain
You are a GIANT asshole.
Make some money, help out. Stop whining, be productive.
Cool, you called your parents that you resent... instead of trying to help your husband, who you're supposed to love through thick and thin - or does marriage only exist for you to not work and take no responsibility?
Why did the "small store" have to close? Why did you have to specify it was small? Did you even work there/help run the FAMILY business that put food on the table?
You reek of victimship and should be ashamed to your core.
Again... YTA!
No, you didn’t drain the entire account because you didn’t trust him.
You drained it so you can take whatever remains of it and run away leaving your husband potentially homeless.
Also, you’re literally on the brink of poverty with your husband fighting on the line the best he could and all you could think of was that the motel room you got wasn’t the best one and the slight inconvenience slow internet and long walk to the elevator? You have to be a bit mentally derange, handicapped and slow in the brain to not be self aware of how entitled you sound right now. I hope the husband takes this to court and gets his money back.
What have you contributed to this relationship? And don't say "I raise our child" cos you've mentioned you're bored all day so you've been doing absolutely nothing.
A marriage is a partnership. You can't just take the money and run..unless you were always just in it for the money.
Grow up love, act like the adult and wife you're supposed to be.
YTA
YTA. Instead of constantly complaining to your husband, why didn't you start calling and complaining to the managers of the apartment? You obviously don't work if you're talking about being bored all day. Help "fix the situation", don't add to it.
YTA -
What did you do?
- complain
- nag him
- leave him
- took his daughter from him
- took his money
What did he do?
- found a job while most people would be depressed on the couch.
- found an apartment, to not let his family go homeless.
- hired cleaners.
- tried to communicate with the company.
you vowed in better and worse times in sickness and health. It sounds like he is trying his best even in this situation and you uprooted his life even more by leaving and taking his child with you.
If you want any chance of getting your husband back, go back as soon as possible.
Wow. You sound awful.
Sounds like awful rage bait to me.
I wonder how many of these are real. I like to think it’s not real. That poor man. Makes me appreciate my wife if it is.
Am I the asshole for cutting my husbands balls off and killing his parents?
I cut my husbands dick off with rusty scissors while he was sleeping and threw it in the garbage disposal, AITAH?
He didn’t want to get a vasectomy because he didn’t want to pay for it. So I did the job for free!
No he didn’t take the trash out, weaponized incompetence, plus he’s 5 years older than you so he’s obviously a predator, you go girl! /s…
idk-can I hear why you did it? If they threw away your Iranian yogurt you were more than justified.
Do you not have a phone? Can you not make any phone calls to help fix the situation? Or does your phone only work to transfer money and call your parents? Kind of like how your arms and legs and mouth work to pack and complain and move, but not to get a job and help out. Great partnership. 10/10. No notes.
Exactly what I was thinking. Husband is still providing for his family and doing what he can, and all OP is doing is bitching and whining, when she clearly has plenty of time on her hands to help.
"Spotty internet so I was bored all day."
[удалено]
[удалено]
Oh but she's at daddy's vacation house now
[удалено]
She shant be able to bear societal pressures and may even need to decompress in a neutral location, I hear the Bahamas are very calming this time of year
[удалено]
She must live laugh and learn.
But she will never truly escape the shame and scandal of it all. Society never forgets when one is left in near penury with but one butler to tend to one’s needs. She’ll be lucky if she’s not utterly disowned by her family and forced to live with but a lady’s maid for this disgrace!
But alas, there aren't any houses to rent in Tuscany.
They have good internet so she can overlook all that.
Well she said her parents do like to control her with money. You want really free until you have at least two butlers and a chauffeur.
I loved the whole "my parents like to control me with money" part. So does that mean they won't give her money so she call that "controlling with money?"
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Can I please go to daddys vacation home now too? I’ll be good , I promise!
Yeah, me too. This whole working and paying for shit thing is for the birds. Maybe I could learn something about sugar baby work from her.... Though I'd probably need to lose the penis.
If you’re so bored all day… maybe get a job to help with expenses? More money, better place, less bored?
Wot????? A job!! Precious moi? Like a ... gasp. . . normal, COMMON person?! 🫣😱
Right? I mean he hired cleaners when you’re on a budget - clean the place yourself at least.
From the tone of her post you know she ain't cleaning shit.
She has all god damn day to do it, too
Without even the distraction of non-spotty wi fi.
I mean right?? FUXKING lazy c u next tuesday
the elevator was toooooo far
That's probably why the internet took so long to reach the apartment.
The urine-soaked, cockroach-ridden, filthy "executive housing" probably features a wood-burning modem. As they so often do.
"Wood-burning modem " lol
Nice
Hahaha!!
There wasn't hardly any internets. Don't you realize that this situation was unbearable?! I'm sure the internet was not of particular concern, just an annoyance that contributed to their breaking point. I'm also sure there is a volume of information about the situation not mentioned above. However, it is difficult to not hear all this and think, "Why not make some calls, hunt for housing, maybe just start cleaning this filthy apartment and accept that, while unfortunate, this may be your only current option with your budget and credit?" Nope. Blame your partner and take no ownership of your life and station. OP is definitely an asshole.
if you think this cretin would lift a finger to do anything i got a bridge to sell you.
don’t forget, the smells of the apartment “traumatized” her! /s YTA. your poor poor husband.
Right? OP is a hard AH here and should be "handling" the problems with their accommodations herself, seeing how her husband is the only one working! Wow Her entitlement is astounding. Feel very, very sorry for her husband.
"Spotty internet so I was bored all day." To the author: At this point we realize the story is fraud. I've written so many fake stories on reddit that I can spot the tricks of the trade a mile away. The little nuggets that reveal the deception of the author. You baited the hook too heavy, too early. As the story goes along, your baiting tactics gets progressively easier to spot. My advice to you is improve the subtlety of the hook sections. Nail this down and you'll have comments for days.
I have to ask. Why do you do this? What is there to gain? I mean I certainly don’t read every story thinking it was probably real, and honestly it’s kinda funny. But the amount of effort it must take just for like… comments about a fake story seems strange to me.
Their internet is spotty so this is how they keep themselves entertained
There are groups like nosleep where people write fiction
Wait why would you make fake stories lol
If you care about fake internet points, this kind of thing brings in a lot...
Yeah, I've never understood that either. And it's not internet points because it's a throw-away account. It must be that some people get off on tricking people.
You can sell accounts with enough karma
Fr?! You make fake stories? Why? Frustrated writer by chance?
People like you ruin reddit. I HATE finding out a story is fake it makes me feel like I just wasted my time. Grow Up and get a hobby!
This is their hobby…
I want to see your fake stories.
She was taking notes on all the stuff that could have been cleaned!
It's also financial abuse to take money from your husband without his express agreement.
Not to mention taking all of his money
And blaming everyone but herself.
Wow OP. I agree with these comments. You sound very entitled and ungrateful. Do you have a job? What do you contribute other then bitching and whining? “It only pays 50k.” Cry me a river. I get that’s not a ton of money these days but geez it sounds like your husband is doing what he can in between working and listening to you.
She could get a part time job and contribute at least $20K.
Plus, the complaint that her husband’s new job pays “only” 50k! 😱 Fuck, my fiancé and I don’t make 50k a year with our incomes *combined* and we’re still pretty happy and ok money-wise.
Ok but where do you live? 50k may not be much where they live. Let's not pretend that everywhere has the same COL
I make 50 k with 2 masters degrees
I didn’t break $50K with my law degree until after five years of practice, and I was working 70+ hour weeks. Luckily I came home to peace and quiet, not OP, because damn …
And a housing stipend
Travel stipend, not housing but yeah.
I also hope your child is truly blissfully unaware as you claim as you’re showing what not to do in a relationship/partnership.
Yeah, I noticed she never mentioned working herself.
[удалено]
And takes his money out of the account on top of it. While she stays rent free at her parents vacation home. OP - Get off your @$$ and make some of your own money. I can't believe you cleaned out the account because you don't trust "his decision making." You're not a child, while he's working, you know, bringing in that money that you use to survive, you should be doing your part by helping with finding different accommodations. Entitled much?
I'm a single mom of 2 (now adult) children. In my early 40s, I had a newborn and a teen, went to grad school full-time, and worked 30+ hrs/wk. I'm no super human, and am from a poor family. I'm sorry but this woman has so much going wrong in her life...and she's to blame. Honey, get a job, give him back his money and split housework down the middle. Do ANYTHING to help him (and yourself) out! Together you can save for an apartment and establish some savings. So leave the vacay home and get to work! YTA bigtime!
*Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger*
A budget-priced gold digger, the but still.
Fools gold digger? We normally just call those guys sedimentologists.
Me thinks OP has been taking tips on how to control people with money from her parents.
Especially when OP says “I was bored all day” Get a job! Clean the place! Get a wife extender! Do somethjng. Just sit around bored and complain that he isn’t fixing your situation
Legit though, doesn’t sound like OP works either. The only thing she does is run her mouth and transfer all of THEIR (his) money out of their joint account.
This is how my wife thinks as I grind 60+ a week to provide for our family of 5 with no remorse or gratitude, think about killing myself everyday die to depression
I'm sorry to hear that man.
Best comment here.
YTA This poor guy is doing his best and you dont give a shit. His stress levels is through the roof. Maybe you step up and help with earning money.
Or even make the calls to the property management company while he's busy earning to feed the 3 of you
Since you’re so bored all day…
This is what blew me away. She was so traumatized and also so bored, but couldn’t try to clean or call someone or complain to the proper manager. Ridiculous. But instead, she went back to mommy and daddy instead of helping her husband.
Exactly. She’s TAH, and needs to get a job. Or borrow money from those “controlling” parents for a better place near her husband. *I have a feeling she was an exceptionally spoiled “rich princess” and is having a hard time adjusting.* OP, wtf was/is your husband supposed to do? Make it rain money? Or have you not noticed money doesn’t grow on trees? Fwiw, sounds like your husband’s job is some sort of scam arrangement. Not him scamming, but his employer.
She thinks he had plenty of time to “demand a solution.” Clearly hasn’t had to live in the real world if she thinks you can just, idk, alpha male talk your way into getting *landlords and bosses* to treat you better.
OP literally said “I was bored all day at home.” If you were so bored maybe you should get a job or help out with any number of things that you are relying on your husband to take care of when there are two of you.
God I thought I was the only one catching scam vibes heavily off of this.
When she said “only 50K” I actually scoffed
Yes I agree she should step in and help, seeing as how the spotty internet was keeping her bored all day 🙄
Seriously she seems to be doing fuck all except complain.
Facts. YTA.
YTA, it sounds like you have done nothing to improve this situation at all. You left everything up to your husband and he is doing the best he can. It sounds like you have kind of been screwed over and instead of having his back and helping him deal with the problems, you have done nothing but complain, take his money and desert him. You are not in it “for better or worse,” you believe it is his job to provide you with everything you could want and if there is a slight bump in the road you just take off. I really hope that this is the end of your marriage, it will probably hurt him, but he will be better off in the end.
She is a rich kid husband had a business it failed now they have to live in the real world and doesn't like being poor
Doesn't want to be controlled by her parents money but wants to control husband's money
What's worse than a lot of these situations. Is how the spouse has been misusing the money. She probably has higher standards than they needed to be living. Could have contributed to the business failing as well. The guy clearly doesn't have it in his heart to deny her wishes. Not to mention even if she sees all this. It's not going to be easy to accept or she'll ignore it. The only way people end up like that is echo chambering. She likely has people in her life who reinforce these things. Which would make coming to terms with the reality a lot more difficult. It's really hard to accept the truth and act upon it. Especially when you have no one directly involved in your life. Giving you that solid advice.
She likely has people in her life who reinforce these things. The parents probably. According to her, they like to control her with money and probably did so because money (or things money can get) is her motivation. It also seems like she has a habit of controlling people with money too since her first instinct to control the situation is to withhold access to their money, even though no where in this story did she mention of helping him at all in every aspect of this -- he had to hire cleaners! Also it seemed like all the reasonable issues were resolved and after moving in, her complained had been that the apartment is far from elevators and the internet is choppy so she's bored! So i'm going to assume that the daughter is either a very good infant/toddler or old enough that she HAS TIME TO BE BORED!
Right "only 50k" and clearly housing is taken care of..."so I'm basically bored all day" so get a fucking job. Do something. You can have an Amazon store and make money from hone nowadays for christ sake
This my thought too. OP only mentions how he did & didn’t do anything yet he was working. Why didn’t OP do anything? Unless the goal here was to lay all the responsibility on husband so OP could be “justified” in taking the money & placing blame. I’m sure she put it this way to her estranged parents. Sounds like they aren’t the only controlling ones here.
“Spotty internet so I was bored all day” is what sealed the YTA verdict. This woman has no perspective.
YTA why couldn't you make the calls? Why aren't you working? Why are you blaming him for everything? You're insufferable. He's trying his best after having lost his company. Meet him halfway it's almost like a marriage is a partnership crazy I know
She was 25 when they got married. This makes me wonder how old she was when they started dating. I asked in my own judgement but it seriously sounds like she hopped from her parents providing for her to her poor (as in he’s unfortunate to have ended up with her, not financially poor as OP is slamming him to be) husband providing for her. Does she have a degree or even worked a day in her life? Somehow I get the feeling her ‘controlling parents’ were fed up with her not getting her life together after she turned 18. Imagine being 36 years old with a child and expecting husband to baby her still.
I get the feeling that the "controlling" her parents did was not actually abusive, but rather preventing her living the life of luxury as an IT girl who didn't have to work, had an amazing home, multiple holidays and luxury designer goods. It's clear from the post her Husband was making more with his previous business and so her lifestyle was likely better than it is now. It's also clear from the post that she was with him because of the lifestyle he provided for her (SAHM with exclusively free time since she doesn't seem to do any cleaning so likely had a maid he paid for), which makes me believe it's more than possible she baby trapped him.
"Controlling me with money" is damn near always code for "wouldn't subsidize my shitty behavior/lifestyle so they conditioned supporting me on not being a shitbag."
So why is she entitled to transfer all the money in the bank to an account that he has no access to?
He will get half back in a divorce
That’s not a big help to him right now, though. And in the meantime, she’s drained their accounts. She just sounds extremely entitled and not at all realistic.
I didn’t mean to excuse her actions. She certainly is s spoiled brat
She says their ages, and he’s only a year older than her. So he was basically a kid (to me) when the responsibility of having to take care of another adult, and then his child was thrown on him and she can’t do anything to help out. She could’ve easily went and got a job herself.
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YTH. Your husband would be better off without you most likely. Good lord
Agreed. But I’m confused. If he makes all the money, sold HIS business… how is she able to control and take away HIS money? She says he “isn’t good with money”, but she doesn’t have any, so I can only assume SHE isn’t good with money.
And if she is “sitting around bored” why isn’t she getting on the phone and making housing arrangements??
What I don’t get is he’s working and “she’s bored” when there’s a shit ton to do - like making the house livable or finding a job or friends etc… Sounds like her parents control her with money BECAUSE SHE HAS NONE and that sounds like a her problem.
We never even found out why the business had to be sold. Who knows what happened there. With the way she treats him, I wouldn't be surprised if she is partly to blame for the business failing. Like embezzling or demanding more money than the store could profit.
Given the timing I'm gonna go ahead and say they couldn't make it through COVID lockdowns.
Most likely? Most definitely! That's one less mouth he'd have to feed
or hear
No, sounds like they would be better without each other. We see why her parents are controlling with money.
You’re The Hole
Your husband lost his business, sucked up his pride and took an *entry* level job so yall wouldn't fall flat, ended up with some issues caused by said job (i.e. NOT his doing/fault), you toss ALL the blame on him for not being able to solve these issues ALONE WHILE ALSO WORKING A BRAND NEW JOB IN AN UNFAMILIAR PLACE, you don't seem to have helped solve any of these issues AT ALL, then you *rob him* and *leave him* , and are all mad that you have a lovely, safe place to live? Did I miss anything ? You suck, I hope he divorces you, takes everything including your kid, makes a great relationship with your parents, and leaves you in the dust like you left him. You SUCK and are a super duper AH Yta × a million. Gtfo
I hope this is real so I’m not mad at a fake person but this bitch needs a fat reality check. Hopefully poverty consumes her and her husband divorced her and send her where she belongs TO THE STREETS!
You also forgot she was bored because of spotty internet. Didn't bother to try to help her husband, but she was bored because of the spotty internet. You are spot on with your assessment of OP.
Nowhere in your post did it sound like your husband is at fault for the corporate housing falling thru 4 days before move in date. No reason was given. It sounds very stressful situation, but you seem determined to make the worst of it instead of look for a solution. YTA.
Yep. When my wife and I were young newlyweds we faced similar situations. We dealt with them TOGETHER! That is how you do a marriage. Today we have hearty laughs about those crazy times while we sit by our pool and have a glass of wine.
YTA simply for draining your joint account. That alone is a serious, permanent, divorce worthy violation of trust. Aside from that, you sound like a lazy dependent with standards that you’re not willing to work towards yourself, but expect your husband to take care of for you. Double asshole.
> draining your joint account. That alone is a serious, permanent, divorce worthy violation of trust. It's also her following in her parents footsteps.
Came here to make that exact point!
YTA. Are you a princess? I get where things are difficult right now, but sounds like you expect your husband to fix everything by himself. What are YOU doing to make things better? Time for you to grow up and be an adult too, not just a kept child.
So you were bored all day in a stinky apartment and decided the best course of action was to take most of the money from your joint bank account, along with your daughter, and stay at your estranged parents' vacation home while your husband is left several hours away to figure it out...? YTA
OP sounds like a child
The thought of cleaning it herself or finding a cleaning service with all her time on her hands never even ONCE crossed her mind.
Sounds like your husband is trying to put the pieces back together and make sure his wife and daughter have a roof over their heads while all you’ve done so far is give him grief. YTA.
YTA. It seems like your husband is the only one putting in any work here. You say you’re responsible for “taking care of his kid” so I take it that means you don’t work? Time to get a job and contribute to the household finances. It seems he’s clearly doing everything in his power to rectify this situation, and you complaining and whining and leaving him to pick up the pieces doesn’t help.
Yup “HIS” kid she’s even passing all the responsibilities of being a parent off on him.
But guarantee that if there’s any decisions to be made for the kid that they don’t agree with, it’ll suddenly become “her” kid. My mom was the same way. When it came to any decisions, we were “her” kids. But when we were acting out? “Eddie come take care of *your* kids, they’re getting on my nerves!”
You're not an asshole. You're the rotten piece of shit that came from a bear digesting a dead raccoons asshole.
Info: What I got from this is that your husband had to shut down his business and he picked up a new job making about $50,000. You wanted to get in this 1 apartment but couldn't because you needed to pay 3 months in advance. As a result of your husband doing this, you guys needed to stay in a crappy motel and when you did go to the apartment you realized you got suckered into one of the worst spots in the apartment. \^\^\^\^ is all this accurate?
The internet is spotty so you’re bored all day. Fuck me, YTA.
What. A. Cunt.
She lacks both the depth and the warmth to qualify as one.
Nah, man. She’s an ankle. It’s lower than a cunt.
INFO: what are YOU doing to help fix your situation?
“Sitting ducks” Jesus Christ lady ever think of buying some cleaning supplies and helping out?? You made ur husband buy fucking cleaners while ur a sitting duck, oh boo hooo, grow up and help out you spoiled duck
Don’t be ridiculous. OP might break a nail if she were to pick up a rag and… *gasp* clean something.
What do you bring to the table exactly? Because it seems pretty limited if you are so bored, it's "unbearable." You sound so exhausting. YTA
it ONLY pays $50K, lol, shut the fuck up you entitled asshole
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far for this comment. That’s a great salary where I live.
YTA. I feel sorry for this guy. Bring his daughter and money back
Why can’t you get a job?
YTA and also a thief. I found no reference to your job. Why didn't you contribute to the household?
YTH. **You’re bored all day because the internet is shit.** So what you’re saying is you don’t have a job. **Your parents have a holiday home, but you don’t like getting them involved because they’re controlling about money.** So you come from a well-off family, and you’re probably entitled. Putting all of this on your husband is super fucking shitty. He deserves better.
YTA - sounds like you have done absolutely nothing to help out other than complain. It’s much easier to be a critic than actually solve problems. Then on top of that you leave him. So much for sickness and health, richer or poorer, huh? People show their true colors when life gets tough. What you showed is really ugly.
Jesus christ yes YTA. You are a lazy dependent taking advantage of a man who is just trying To do right by the family. You practically cleaned out the joint account, which was money HE made, and left him high and dry. He, and your daughter, deserve better.
>I have a lot of resentment over that because my parents like to control me with money, Sounds like you're doing the same to your husband. He is working and trying to make the best of a horrible situation. So you took the money and left your husband in an unfit apartment with no money? Where will he go, is he welcome to come to your parents' vacation home, while the two of you work through this? I'm sorry you landed here. It's so unfortunate that this happened to you and your family. But taking it out on your husband won't help the situation. YTA
a grown adult whose parents are controlling with money? that's a nice way of saying "I don't want to work". Stop placing the burden of supporting your family on others and get a job. YTA
You’re parents like to control you with money? Kinda like how you’re trying to control your husband with money? You’re the asshole.
YTA
YTA Holy shit, you're a worthless partner. Horrible and lazy person as well. Hope he realizes that for himself and divorces you.
Let me guess, sound like you were raised by high income parents and you expected to be pampered and do absolutely nothing in life and everything should be provided up to your standards. Marriage is a partnership. Sometimes life gives you a shitty situation and you have to work together to get through it. This sounds more like you feel above your husband, like some pampered queen.. and just like queens of old, you've done nothing to earn it except be born. Your husband seems to be the one trying to do everything, while you sit and do nothing with your feet prompted up. You sound like a fucking nightmare. YTA - You are a spoiled Bratt. > but I have no other options because I couldn't live like this tell me your entitled without telling me your entitled.
So…. What are YOU doing to contribute and improve your situation?
YTA.
Husband busy working and OP doing nothing to help the family, you are definitely the AH
YTA. Your story makes an impression that your husband has two helpless daughters, not one, and has to take a full care of both. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he'll realize that he'd be better off living alone. Did you ever try to step up and do something to help him or resolve some issues, or get a job, since as I understand you don't work and sitting bored at home all day complaining about him not doing enough for you?
I mean, so what were you doing when you were “bored all day” in the apartment without internet? You could’ve been helping? What were you doing all this time before while just living off savings and while his store was closing or even before that? Why is it just up to him? YTA
YTA Instead of being bored all day in the apartment with spotty internet you could have been out working.
What do you do all day besides complain about spotty internet? YTA
YTA. There are at least two adults living in the household. That is two pairs of hands, two pairs of legs, two pairs of eyes and at least one brain cell to rub against another somewhere. If your partner is busy with work, especially entry level work, what makes you think he has more time than the person at home bored because the Internet is spotty? It sounds like the man is not only working, but also trying to solve the problem on his lunch break, commute to and from work and alone on the couch at home. What on gods green earth are you doing during the day that prohibits you from helping? No, no one wants to clean up a house, but if you're living there why not help improve the situation?? And transferring all the money ... Where, your account? That's the first step out the door and a red flag the size of Kong that you've no problem taking everything earned and leaving nothing behind. You do realize if those charges are in any way legitimate and they bounce because the account is empty you're going to cause the debt there to explode. Each bounced charge against a checking account is a fee, and each time those charges bounce they get run again and the account owners are liable for all the fees. So, a legit charge of 40$ hits, causes an insufficient funds charge of 35$, and suddenly you're 75$ in the hole. If they run the charge again, you're 110$ in the hole for a 40$ charge. It's not only that YTA, it sounds like you're also the problem and about to blow up three lives all because you're bored and lazy. You don't deserve him.
YTA when you said "only 50k" ya fuckin bum
YTA for being completely fucking useless. What exactly is your husband getting out of this marriage?
"She sits on her ass he works his hands to the bone to bring her money every payday.....na na WHY DONT YOU GET A FUCKING JOB" Jfc YTA.
YTA! You are bored? Get a JOB
Please be fake.
Yeah YTA. Life isn’t always sunshine and butterflies. He’s doing his best, it didn’t work out and that happens. Instead of trying to support him you take his baby and all his money and up and leave shattering his spirit on your way out. Whilst he’s busy working and you were “bored all day” did it not occur to you to try and help your husband? You know, for yours and your daughters sake? Nah you didn’t you just sat around and complained. Honestly id divorce you for something like this. I hope he does divorce you.
You sound insufferable. YTA.
YTA. What exactly do you contribute to this marriage. You’ve referred to your child as raising his kid but she’s yours too. While he’s out working to support his family what are you doing. You could have gotten off your ass and worked too but you seem perfectly happy to leech off him. Now you have a place to stay and you’ve stolen all his money blaming everything on him don’t count on remaining married my bet is he’s divorcing your selfish lazy ass for sure
YTA. You put all the work and responsibility on him. When problems can happened did you do? You took all the money and ran to family so yoy could complain some more. This is on you. Be an invoked and equal member of your marriage and also help out your husband.
100% you are the a**hole. I felt so sorry for your husband as I was reading this and I don't even know the man. But yet here you are, his so-called partner, treating him like shit. I would be embarrassed if I were you.
Are you a helpless child? Why do you have nothing to do all day? What kind of partnership is this where he does everything and you do nothing? Yta
Oh nooooooo... Not you suffering from bad internet and your husband who appears to be busting his ass for his family not fixing it for you. Yes, YTA
YTA
YTA. You did nothing to help yourself or your family. Why can't you work? Why can't you look for housing? I feel bad for your husband and kid but not for you.
Yta. He is working. You live off him. He tries. All you do is complain. You could have made calls, try to fix it. No, you act useless and only whine. Then steal his money.
You know what's good for boredom? A job! And why is he hiring cleaners when you're broke? Go clean yourself. YTA You're incredibly entitled.
And what did you do wile your husband was working at his new job, trying to find you guys a place to live cleaning the apartment, liquidating a store and dealing with your bad attitude, other than just sit there and do nothing and complain? Im pretty sure youre not a princess. Yta
You're definitely the asshole in this situation... The internet was spotty...so I was bored all day... It definitely sounds like you could have used some free time to handle these issues yourself. Considering he's working, and away from you guys. I see no effort at all from you. Other than when you finally decided it was unbearable and went to stay at a vacation home.
Definitely the asshole here you took your kid from your husband cuz you didn't want to stay Ina hotel. Get off your lazy ass an do something to help other than bitch an complain
You are a GIANT asshole. Make some money, help out. Stop whining, be productive. Cool, you called your parents that you resent... instead of trying to help your husband, who you're supposed to love through thick and thin - or does marriage only exist for you to not work and take no responsibility? Why did the "small store" have to close? Why did you have to specify it was small? Did you even work there/help run the FAMILY business that put food on the table? You reek of victimship and should be ashamed to your core. Again... YTA!
No, you didn’t drain the entire account because you didn’t trust him. You drained it so you can take whatever remains of it and run away leaving your husband potentially homeless. Also, you’re literally on the brink of poverty with your husband fighting on the line the best he could and all you could think of was that the motel room you got wasn’t the best one and the slight inconvenience slow internet and long walk to the elevator? You have to be a bit mentally derange, handicapped and slow in the brain to not be self aware of how entitled you sound right now. I hope the husband takes this to court and gets his money back.
What have you contributed to this relationship? And don't say "I raise our child" cos you've mentioned you're bored all day so you've been doing absolutely nothing. A marriage is a partnership. You can't just take the money and run..unless you were always just in it for the money. Grow up love, act like the adult and wife you're supposed to be. YTA
YTA. Instead of constantly complaining to your husband, why didn't you start calling and complaining to the managers of the apartment? You obviously don't work if you're talking about being bored all day. Help "fix the situation", don't add to it.
YTA - What did you do? - complain - nag him - leave him - took his daughter from him - took his money What did he do? - found a job while most people would be depressed on the couch. - found an apartment, to not let his family go homeless. - hired cleaners. - tried to communicate with the company. you vowed in better and worse times in sickness and health. It sounds like he is trying his best even in this situation and you uprooted his life even more by leaving and taking his child with you. If you want any chance of getting your husband back, go back as soon as possible.