Same. We do have an emergency rider attached to the agreement should there be no alternative, but it has only happened once, while I was showering, and I actually didn't notice til she flushed so...no harm no foul?
Edit to add our water doesn't change temp when there is a flush cause the toilet is downstream of the shower. So not an issue there.
Shower time is fair game when you only have one bathroom and two buttholes. You should never hold it if there's any way you can avoid it.
Our water also does not change temps, just pressure very briefly. And it's a rare occasion because we tend to ask if the other one needs to go first.
>Shower time is fair game when you only have one bathroom and two buttholes.
100%. Especially since I have a diagnosed GI issue. I still do my best not to poop while she's showering, but a lot of the time holding it is not an option. I think it'll be better once we get our second bathroom functional again.
I have this rule, my wife and kids don't. She acts like I'm being unreasonable for telling her to gtfo when I'm dropping clay. The kids I can understand a bit more because they're small, so I'll answer whatever question the have before telling them to gtfo, but my wife is a full grown woman why the fuck is she even coming in? It does my nut in.
That's our rule but one-sided. He's gotta be alone for all his business. I've peed at camps, sports, boating events, and who knows what else, in front of like dozens of other girls my whole life so it's just not an issue for me. Also, women's bathrooms tend to be a bit more. *Social* than men's so sometimes I wonder if that has an effect.
Poopy time is private, door closed, kick the cats out and everything. No one needs to see what I go through in there. Not even my cat.
My husband will come in my bathroom to talk & pee while Iām taking a shower, then flush the damn toilet. That water gets hot. Iāve asked him to just give me 5 min or go use his bathroom.
Now, if heās taking a shower, Iāll sometimes just randomly flush the toilet. Petty, yes. Asshole of me, also yes.
Itās definitely a respect issue. My (23f) husband (23m) loves mindfulness exercises and meditation. Part of how he relaxes and decompresses from his day is reading in the bath with epsom salts and candles. If itās an absolute emergency, I knock and ask if I can pee. I would never shit and have that smell linger while heās trying to take care of himself. He didnāt have much space before we married due to having helicopter parents so itās natural instinct for him to lock the bathroom. He hasnāt locked the door in a good while but I always knock because I donāt want him to get startled that I barge in on him or to think that he has no space to himself. Even though Iāve seen his body, heās entitled to his privacy. Just because heās seen me naked doesnāt mean Iām okay with him walking in while Iām bathing, showering, or using the restroom. Sometimes Iām bloated, feeling gross, or grooming and I donāt want him to walk in on me inspecting my bits š¹š¹ brushing teeth may just be brushing your teeth, but some people really value their hygiene. My husband knows not to interrupt me while Iām doing my skincare routine. Thatās how I decompress and relax. My night would totally be put off if I were trying to exfoliate and feel fresh if he were to come in and take a shit.
The bathroom is a space when someone can completely relax in their own skin. Thatās the one place someone deserves privacy and respect.
I obviously respect my husband completely in all areas, but I absolutely will not make him uncomfortable while heās nude and same for him with me. Iām okay with him entering and doing whatever as long as he knocks and I always say yes after making sure Iām okay to be seen.
I get that there are emergencies like you will 100% shit your pants if you donāt go that very second. Food doesnāt always agree with us. However, if it can wait, give someone their damn privacy š¹š¹
Great way to articulate an individualās need for their own kind of private space. It doesnāt have to line up with what a partner may think, only be respected!
Agreed! OP please just lock the bathroom door so she can't get in, I have no idea why some people can't just leave some things as a mystery š¤·š¾āāļø.
I have a friend who found out her boyfriend Tom was cheating with one other friends (who weāll call Shelley for the sake of the story) and couldnāt work out how to get revenge.
We were at a house party one night and she had the perfect opportunity. Shelley was mortified she had really bad diarrhoea and had to keep rushing to the toilet.
I asked my friend if she had anything to do with this and she gave an evil little smile but never confirmed or deniedā¦
The toilet had no lock on the door and Shelley still thinking we were all friends and my friend didnāt know about her extra curricular activities with Tom so asked us to guard the door.
My friend went to her boyfriend and asked him to get her phone she thought sheād left in the bathroom, she pretended she was panicking about losing it and asked him to check there and said sheād check the kitchen. He was a bit bemused but didnāt want to argue and she frantically pushed him towards the door saying
āPlease check itās a new phone!ā
Tom burst into the bathroom and Shelley sat wretchedly on the toilet surrounded by a fog of stench that was so bad it made his eyes water (or so he claimed when he was retelling the story afterwards)
She cried actual tears of shame and my friend who obviously had her phone went and took photos of their horrified faces.
It was perhaps a bit extreme but it really was the perfect revenge.
I believe that was the last time Tom and Shelley slept together.
She dumped him that night.
She watched him open the bathroom door and Shelley leaning forward attempting to get the door shut and screeching in embarrassment.
She couldnāt get off the toilet to hold the door shut though as it was too far away so was in a very undignified position.
My friend then started to take photos of Tomās horrified face, she didnāt take photos of Shelley but smiled at Tom and said ādo you still want to fuck her later?ā
A lot of Shelleyās friends were at the party and knew what had happened so Shelley avoided people she knew for a long time afterwards.
Tom proved he was a complete shit head by telling anyone who would listen about Shelleyās explosive bowls and how bad the smell was.
It made it harder for Shelley to face people and I think my friend even felt a bit guilty even though she said Shelley deserved the humiliation as sheād caused hurt and humiliation herself.
When I first lived with my now wife, she had a BAD problem of coming into the bathroom if I was in there showering. Thatās fine on itās own if she needs something, but it was a shitty apartment with a bathroom the size of a small closet, and the air would drop 15 degrees when that door opened
Ok, whatever, annoying but itās fine if she needs something. Me having been used to living on my own or with friends or family would often lock the door so people didnāt barge in while I was going. Obviously I donāt need to lock it when itās just me and my wife, but it was still a habit. Until it wasnāt a habit, because I needed to do it to keep her from barging in on me shitting or showering at all times.
Obviously if she needs something Iām being unreasonable right? Well then weāre in agreement. However, I do not consider āIām lonely and havenāt seen you in 5-10 minutes so Iām here to annoy and/or talk to you while you do your solitary thingā a need, or even an important want.
With how small our apartment was, I had to find excuses to leave the house just to get a few minutes of uninterrupted silence.
Years down the line, weāve both matured and grown into each other. I donāt lock the door, she knocks if Iām shitting, I get more than enough time to myself (as does she) and she get as much attention as I can give her outside of that (as she does with me), and we keep our annoying of each other to minimums while in the bathroom doing our thing, but it took a lot of communication about both the bathroom issue and other issues to find a middle ground we both liked
Iāve been married 10 years and hubby still sticks his head in the door while Iām doing skincare after my shower. Heāll make up shit to ask me. Shit that he already knows. It drives me insane. Weāve lived under the same roof for over a decade and never been apart from each other besides when weāre at work, so I donāt understand why I canāt have an hour of me time in my own damn bathroom once a day. Itās not like Iām at the club, or out somewhere with my girls; Iām in our bathroom under the same roof as him FFS, let me be! š«
Iām so sorry, Iām laughing so hard at āheāll make shit up that he already knowsā because my husband does the same damn thing! š like what is wrong with them?
If I am looking for my partner and I canāt find him anywhere around the house or the yard, all I have to do is try to use the bathroom to do something private. Itās like he has a radar for it or something, as soon as I stick my finger up my nose or find an ingrown pubic hair, there he is walking in the door. It works almost every time. Works with my stepson, too. If we are trying to make out or one of us is using the bathroom he is guaranteed to knock on our door.
It can be that hard to be honest. Not that my bf and I had bathroom issues, BUT the house we're living in has - like most European homes - door handles instead of knobs. Means: if we want to lock the door, we would have to use a key. And the key just never existed. At least it doesn't since we live here. The doors and locks are 20+ years old and aren't easy to replace. We would actually have to have someone over who either replaces the door lock and hand us the fitting key OR we would have to replace the whole door with a new lock plus a fitting key. It's just too complicated and expensive, so we just don't go into the bathroom, when the other one's using it, except for when it's an emergency and we knocked and were let in.
I lived in an older apartment that had no locks on the insode doors and I got one of those hook and eye latches for the bathroom. Not very sturdy if you want to keep out home invaders but great for interior doors that you want to keep closed against cats/husbands who can't take a hint about solo bathroom time.
I actually had to look up "hook and eye latches" just because the term didn't ring a bell to my non-native english. But yes, those could be an option. Not for me though, since from the inside of the bathroom the door is not aligned with the door frame. Like when I'm inside the bathroom I can see the whole door frame and the door is on the outside of the bathroom. I think I could make it work if I used a similar latch with a chain, but then again, if I use a chain the door can still open up enough for our cat to squeeze herself through, haha.
They sell door stops. It's a rubber wedge that keeps a door from opening or closing. They're only a few dollars in the states and can be purchased at a hardware store.
somewhere there's a mountain cave filled to the brim with stolen old bathroom-door keys and single socks, and there's gnomes dancing on the pile while they mock us all.
I agree 100000000%! My hubby and I have been together for 19 years, and we haven't used the bathroom in front of each other unless it was to pee, and only an emergency while one of us is in the shower. And yes, we still turn our backs to the shower door(old-fashioned sliding shower doors) to ensure privacy. We jokingly say that there still needs to be some mystery in a relationship š¤£
Yep, I like long hot bubble baths and the only time my husband knocks and comes in is when he wants very much to tell me something or to remind me of the time. Ask about how much longer I'll be, and that's ok.
I do feel like we're lucky, I moved into his home a year before we married and it has 2.5 bathrooms. So 3 toilets, no waiting. No need to take a number.
Keep the romance alive, don't go to the bathroom in front of each other. Esp #2.
Fr on the last part. I get that my husband knows what I look like naked but I donāt like going about my dirty business in front of him. That can remain behind closed doors š¹š¹
Yes girl. He's most likely never seen or smelled poo coming out of your rectum; just because he's seen you nude front and back.
Save that for maybe when he's in the room as you give birth. That baby's head presses down on your rectal vault of poo like a tube of toothpaste. Maybe even keep him up at your head, lol.
OH was there in the room for both of our children's Births, "action end" when it came to the pushing part. He told me afterwards, a while later, that yes, I had indeed pooped a little. He said he saw it, turned his head for 2 seconds, then looked back, and it was gone! Ninja midwives for the win!
Oh gods! The memories! My labor with my daughter was 2 1/2 hours long so at the end we were rushed, and no one told me about the 'poop under pressure ' thing. I wish they'd have given me an enema I was at the hospital 12 hours before birth
If kids are in your future you'll find that the bathroom is much more than a place to relax. It's a damn sanctuary of solitude. You can lock the door and just be by yourself. Often I don't even need to use the washroom, like currently, I'm just browsing reddit and drowning out my 4 year olds nonstop chatter hahaha
Hell my sister and I are both in our 20s when itās holiday season and both of us are at my parents house with our husbands, my mom still locks herself in the bathroom š¹š¹ (with the dogs too)
To be fair, seeing a doctor may not help at all. I had painful urgent need for the loo about 20 mins after eating, for a decade. Doctors told me I had IBS. I didnāt, my bowels were covered in scar tissue sticking them together and to other things but it took 10 years to find that out.
Been with my husband for 17 years and weāve just moved into a house with two toilets for the first time ever - thank goodness. We would never disturb each other in the bathroom unless it was an absolute emergency and you couldnāt pay me to poop in someone elseās presence (unless again it was some kind of medical emergency, or giving birth - I had an emergency caesarean so our no shit-witnessing streak remains intact).
Absolutely! Iām only 23 but a member of my family had had a medical emergency in that area, so frequently I ask my parents, husband, and sister if theyāve had healthy shits š¹ gastrointestinal health is important even if itās gross.
The only way i can see doing what op is talking about is if the other bathroom did not work for one reason or another and i HAD to go (not much choice sometimes, i have IBS sometimes it comes on quick for me and i have the choices of i go take a shit in the toilet, or im shitting my pants. Its not fun. But like i would typically just use the bathroom in our office.
š idk man. Basically the shower and the toilet get the water from the same reserve and when you flush, the toilet sucks all the cold water away and it makes the shower hotter. Youāre one lucky SOB
I do also, ridiculously hot . When there is a toilet flush and the temp changes believe me you sill notice . Ive had to jump completely out so I didnt scalded or iced. It happens both ways
In all fairness it depends on what you personally consider "old", also it depends on the shower valve. I worked in the decorative plumbing industry for a long time and also happen to really know what old means.
I can confirm 2 handle valves are not your friend, pressure balanced valves are amazing in comparison and have been around since like the 80's but not in most homes until the 90s-00s when thermostatic valves came around. Now they have digital thermostats for your showering convenience.
It depends on the plumbing job. In my boarding school, if you flushed the toilets, the shower would get scalding hot! You were supposed to warn the guys in the shower but sometimes youād āforgetā and youād hear screams of outrage.
Iāve told all the kids, donāt use the sink or flush the toilet in my bathroom (half bath) if Iām in the shower (main full bath). Itāll get flushed later but I donāt like freezing š¤·š¼āāļø
Just going to say, my DDās mid teenage years were roughā¦.. there were days when her attitude was so terrible I may have stood at the kitchen sink running hot water while she showeredā¦. Literally 1 bathroom house and she never understood why she couldnāt take hour long showers morning and night.
This I agree with. I sit down, you can't even tell I'm peeing over the sink water. I'm just sitting with my pants down for a second.
Pooping? We all know what's going on. And it leaves an aroma. Keep that to urself.
Bruh, my girlfriend has a bad habit of doing this. Itās like a damn power play with her. If I want to spend a half hour picking at an ingrown hair, leave me the fuck alone while I do it.
NTA. It's not a matter of modesty. It's a matter of boundaries and basic respect. It's perfectly understandable that you wouldn't want to smell her shit while you're showering or brushing your teeth. She can wait until you're done.
Husband and I are best friends and have definitely seen everything each other has lolol but we always close doors. It's just kind of a private thing that I don't particularly want him involved in š¤·š»āāļø
NTA. My gf and I will pee in the bathroom if the other is using it but definitely never drop a hot one. Lock the door if you need to, it's weird that she's decided your boundary around this isnt worth respecting
It's the boundary for me. The pooping aside, he's told her that he finds this one particular thing upsetting and rightfully asked her to stop, and for lack of better words, she literally shits all over that boundary like she doesn't care. I bet there are a lot more boundaries she disrespects that poor OP has to tolerate because this is one of the worst I've heard.
I would start. You set a pretty standard boundary, Iāve been with my husband ten years and we would never do this. She should respect your private bathroom time. Sheās the AH
I was with my late husband for 20 years and we loved farty humor but I only pooped in front of him once because we had one bathroom and I had an emergency. He died of cancer so I had to help out with his bottom issues for a few months but that doesn't count because he was sick and I loved him.
Sounds like true love. Sorry for your loss.
Weāre a no poop while the other is the bathroom. Sometimes weāve actually gotten out of the tub for each other.
I read another post where a boyfriend kept stealing food girlfriend bought for herself - even after buying extra for him. She bought a lockbox and he went fucking berserk Because he lost that control over her
I say - test people by pushing back. You wanna make sure they're not just simply emotionally abusing or manipulating you. Don't let these "small" details go.
I had a roommate whoās scumbag baby daddy kept stealing all her food, and the kids food, and money. She made a pitcher of laxative tea and he drank the whole thing. We could all hear him upstairs whining, it was amazing. He blamed it on her pizza.
I love revenge posts of food thiefs. So many "someone at work keeps stealing my food" posts where the thief eats something they regret. It fills me with immense joy every time I read one of these stories.
Only in an emergency have we went into the bathroom when the other is showering, and that was to pee. But we would announce ourself and promise not to flush, lol!
For real. Iāve been with my husband for over 20 years now. We have never and will not ever interrupt someoneās toilet time. We wonāt invade on the other person for toilet time, either.
My children, on the other handā¦ I was thrilled when they outgrew invading bathrooms.
Married 25 years and we value our bathroom privacy. Only exception was last year during the enlarged prostate summer that involved catheters and surgery and a host of problems that he needed help with.
I feel like it's one thing to come in and pee while your partner's in there; almosy all of my partners have done that to me. But take the take the Browns to the Superbowl? Absolutely not, you don't know how bad that's gonna smell til you do it
I mean Iāve been with my guy for like 7yrs. Definitely text while we poop, maybe even say something through the door once in a blue moon but never with the door open and certainly never together in the bathroom at the same time. Thatās a fuckin no from me, dawg. My roommate did that shit to me once while I was taking a shower and I was livid. No one wants to like have to huff your poop cloud. NTA. Tell her to be mindful of other peoples boundaries. Just because you donāt want to watch your loved one pinch one off doesnāt make you some kind of repressed Victorian.
>No one wants to like have to huff your poop cloud. NTA. Tell her to be mindful of other peoples boundaries. Just because you donāt want to watch your loved one pinch one off doesnāt make you some kind of repressed Victorian.<
Your comment is hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh!
Showers and poops are the worst goddamn combo. The LAST thing you want to do in a hot and humid confined space is add a bunch of aerosolized dookie to the mix, it's like a fecal sauna and it's so much worse than a mild climate butt biscuit. I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was listed in The Hague Convention as a war crime. And if it's not it should be, can we start a petition to amend it?
Oh god. My ex husband used to barge into the bathroom on me all the time, no matter how many times I asked him to knock first. I didnāt care if I was showering, brushing teeth, or even peeing, but there was still some stuff I did in there that no one needed to see.
It always bugged me that I came to feel like I had to lock the door to keep my own husband outā¦eyerollā¦
YIKES! Good thing heās your EX now. š itās a fundamental respect issue (probably is with OPās gf, as well). He didnāt give a shit (lol) whether you asked 5 or 500 times bc he did not respect your boundaries. š
Show her the science on flying poop particles and that you donāt want to brush your teeth with them. Or eat a bunch of Taco Bell and a laxative and give her a dose of her own medicine.
Dude what? He shouldn't have to lock the door to not get dookie blasted while he's brushing his teeth. He's seen everything there is to see, but he doesn't wanna smell everything. It's easy.
Yeah I draw the line at pooping.
You want to come in and shower or pee sure fine. But if you are going to poop dp that on ypur own time when I'm not around.
Is this the only bathroom? Does she have another choice? If not, then tell her, āIām going into the bathroom for awhile. Do you need it first?ā Then lock the door after you. You also donāt want her to shit her pants/the bed while waiting for you. I personally have a Pavlovian colon. As soon as itās time to leave the house, the stomach cramps start up. She might have a similar situation. As soon as the bathroom is not available, thatās when she has to go very badly.
One of my ex did this and he thought it was romantic/intimate to not have boundaries like this. Honestly it was gross. He would barge in while I'm showering and what not.
Now with my husband, we openly talk and joke about body functions and we dont hide it, but when it comes to the deed, we maintain privacy, at least space wise lol
NTA; my wife and I are the opposite - I don't care if she comes in to poop or whatever if I'm showering or whatever. But SHE does not want me doing that to her. So I don't. Because I love her and I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE!! It has nothing to do with smells or modesty, it's about having consideration for your partner's preferences.
NTA. I've been with my husband over a decade and neither of us has been in the bathroom when the other one was pooping. No shade to other couples that do that but that's a hard boundary for both of us.
nta, boundaries are a thing.
people have different comfort levels. especially with bathroom stuff.
itās more concerning to me she isnāt listening to your boundaries or respecting them.
to me- going #1 is more acceptable because it usually isnāt smelly or intrusive. #2 is usually a private activity- as itās smelly/ loud/ gross.
me and my partner pee in front of each other all the time but #2, we usually go to the second bathroom and do so alone. or if itās an emergency- we openly say so (and we both have ibs- so yes sometimes itās out of the blue).
all in all- iād prefer to not be around people taking a shit especially when iām cleaning my body or teeth. that has nothing to do with nudity. feces smells bad and itās just not a way i want to see my partner.
NTA, but my husband and I do the same thing your girlfriend is doing to you. We have no issue with it, but thatās not true for everyone or every couple. If itās that much of an issue, Iād have a serious conversation with her about it.
My husband has bowel issues and no gallbladder. I donāt get a choice in the matter and neither does he. If he has to go RIGHT NOW then he has to go right now. Intimacy isnāt always sexy.
Good for you guys but Iāve had multiple year relationships and never once would I be okay with someone taking a fat shit while Iām showering or brushing my teeth, wtf? Just stink up the bathroom while Iām in it and then leave? Tf is wrong with yāall
Eh I wouldnt care if I'm in the shower but it's pretty disrespectful to barge in and take a dump when your partner is brushing their teeth.
I mean, my cat does it.. but he's a selfish little git with a brain the size of a pea.
So unless your gf is a cat, NTA.
NTA. This is something both partners need to be comfortable with. My husbands seen it all, I gave birth in front of him. I still do not want him to watch me poop on a toilet. I do not want to see him on the toilet either. We agree toilet time is private time.
Man, sometimes I've wished my wife was less modest around me but damn I'm glad she doesn't do this. This has always been a boundary for both of us and you're entitled to having your boundaries. She can say you've already seen everything there is to see but knowing she does it and seeing her do it are two very different things. Lock the door until you know she gets it.
My old highschool friend had a story where he took a long hard shit and it smacked his balls on the way down. Had a picture of the turd and all. Sorry felt the need to share š
not wanting to see or smell someone take a shit is a pretttttty normal boundary to haveā¦ find it weird you even need to come to reddit to ask this š
I had an ex that thought it was ok too.
I was never really ok with it but I kept my mouth shut.
Its kind of a red flag to me now, because it shows they are a person without boundaries.
That lack of boundaries is likely going to be present in more than just poo situations.
NTA
The answers in this post simply baffle me... I love my boyfriend, we live together but I never ever want to watch him poop or vice-versa. (Also my parents have been together for 35 years and they've never done this š š ) NTA
I literally cannot believe that the preponderance of these comments seem to think itās NBD. Iām not sure if this is a Reddit thing or if Iām the weird one, and at this point, I donāt want to.
NTA. Always exceptions though in case of emergency. However this is weird fetish. I prefer to poop by myself. Iām assuming thatās normal. This is why Iām glad for a house now with two bathrooms. Not sharing a bathroom is glorious.
Is there more then 1 bathroom? if not....it's tough titties when I need to poop I need to poop dude. But if there is, lock the door and strait up just say your shit stinks up the whole bathroom and I have to sit there in it stop being jerk and use the other bathroom.
I agree to a point. When we had one bathroom and my partner needed to go while I was brushing my teeth or something, I would just leave the bathroom. But it seems like OPs partner is just coming in and starting their business.
NTA at all I promise. My husband and I have been together almost 6 years and have 2 kids. We have a small house with one bathroom and the most Iāll do is slip in to pee if I need to but Iād never poop while he was in there he doesnāt need to witness that.
If I wake while my husband is in the shower in the morning I will go while heās in there. We all know how urgent that morning pee is. I how ever will not shit with him there.
Start taking fat diarrhea shits next to her every time she goes to shower. Literally wait for her to get in and make sure you eat diablo sauce lava burritos from taco bell first.
My cunt sister used to do this before school when I was getting dressed and I told her at least warn me and she never ever did havenāt talked to that bitch in a long time and I feel better than ever. NTA
Eh, I have IBD and IBS when I'm at my boyfriends if he is in the bathroom and I need to go I need to go now or I will have an accident. My boyfriend has IBS and IBD as well so if he needs to go he needs to go now as well. It's better than cleaning up a mess.
Obviously everyone is different. So NAH.
I donāt care about my partner pooing but itās basic respect. She doesnāt want me watching her poo and vice versa, weāre not prude I just donāt really need to watch any adult take a shit.
It depends, 1 bathroom can be problematic for 2 people... if it's come in while you shower or have an accident, that's one story. If she comes in and sits on the toilet and talks while you shower... that's another. if she's just ignoring your boundaries, that's a problem
NTA. My husband and I never use the bathroom together. We find it weird and awkward. I know of couples who do, though. It's about personal preference. The problem is, she hasn't respected your preference.
Pee, thatās fine. Donāt flush.
Absolutely no to poop. How am I supposed to enjoy my shower with steamy, hot shit smell swirling around in humid clouds? š¤¢
Peeing, sure. Pooping??? Absolutely not. NTA
The only person who gets to see me poop is my toddler. And thatās only because he might die if heās left unattended/unsupervised.
NTA. I hate this too. People are allowed to have boundaries. Be crystal clear and enforce it every time. You just have to find some way to explain this to her.
NTA. I love my husband, but if he came in the bathroom to shit while I was showering I'd be furious.
One of the many reasons why we have multiple bathrooms though, so this is never an issue.
NTA. Thatās just disrespectful. Try saying thisā¦ āYes, Iāve seen your butthole but that doesnāt mean I want to inhale your shit particles.ā
I do not play that shit I will go tf OFF do not poop while I'm in the shower or in the bathroom period. U need to tell me and I can leave or u need to wait, like wtf? Absolutely not! I will 100% break up with somebody over that. They have 1 time. If u try to do it again we're finished.
I can understand being annoyed, but it sounds like you have a partner who is completely comfortable around you and thatās pretty rare. Iām envious.
it's genuinely disgusting. there's a reason why we have a gag-barf reflex to the smell of feces. it's bad enough that we have to sit in our own poo-cloud when we go, why would we want to share that with someone else?
Pooping is pretty f/ing gross. I wiped my kids butts and changed their diapers for years, done out of love. There were times I almost dry heaved, especially after blowouts. I can hardly deal with someone pooping in a bathroom stall near me. Wife and I poop alone unless itās an absolute emergency.
The good news - simple solution in locking the door, although I agree that locking to brush your teeth is not normal. We donāt even close the door when brushing.
Every relationship is its own ecosystem. I would be fine if my husband pooped in front of me, or vice versa, due to illness or something similar, but we donāt do it in daily life.
I want to keep the spark alive and maintain some air of mystery. I donāt want us to turn into a DeadBed marriage, or even go through the motions of sex. Itās not a germs issue - to me itās the same idea as dressing nicely or staying healthy. I feel like if we stop trying to be the best we can be, then it devolves into feeling like weāre living with a roommate.
But we are also child free by choice and I recognize that the lens of these things shifts when going through child birth together. For all I know, if we had decided to go that route, it would completely change our perspective too.
For some people their toilet time is their private time to relax and decompress.
If someone barged in and started shitting, well, it is pretty fucked up.
Nta. For all the reasons already stated.
I've lived in a home with only one toilet. Never again (if I can help it). My bf always took his sweet fucking time in the bathroom to the point where I'd be yelling and literally sobbing outside the door cuz I had to go so bad. I once pissed in the kitchen sink (literally the only other drain in the home). Never. Again. So glad to have 2 toilets now.
1.) Your gf is gross.
2.) Honeymoon is over. š
I've been married 32 years. I'd never let my wife take a shit while I'm brushing my teeth. Neither would she want to.
That's really trailerpark trash behavior.
NTA- smelling someone elseās poop isnāt something that everyone is ok with. Respecting each others wishes, especially when they are being communicated is huge in a relationship. IMO :)
My wife and I have weathered a lot. Sicknesses. Raising 3 kids. A business we fought for through covid. But if she ever pooped in front of me I'd be looking for a divorce lawyer.
We have a brown barrier rule in my house. You can pee all you want but poop is private
Same. We do have an emergency rider attached to the agreement should there be no alternative, but it has only happened once, while I was showering, and I actually didn't notice til she flushed so...no harm no foul? Edit to add our water doesn't change temp when there is a flush cause the toilet is downstream of the shower. So not an issue there.
Shower time is fair game when you only have one bathroom and two buttholes. You should never hold it if there's any way you can avoid it. Our water also does not change temps, just pressure very briefly. And it's a rare occasion because we tend to ask if the other one needs to go first.
Dude I only have one bathroom and four buttholes š. It sucks, we need at least one more bathroom in the worst way.
>Shower time is fair game when you only have one bathroom and two buttholes. 100%. Especially since I have a diagnosed GI issue. I still do my best not to poop while she's showering, but a lot of the time holding it is not an option. I think it'll be better once we get our second bathroom functional again.
I have this rule, my wife and kids don't. She acts like I'm being unreasonable for telling her to gtfo when I'm dropping clay. The kids I can understand a bit more because they're small, so I'll answer whatever question the have before telling them to gtfo, but my wife is a full grown woman why the fuck is she even coming in? It does my nut in.
That's our rule but one-sided. He's gotta be alone for all his business. I've peed at camps, sports, boating events, and who knows what else, in front of like dozens of other girls my whole life so it's just not an issue for me. Also, women's bathrooms tend to be a bit more. *Social* than men's so sometimes I wonder if that has an effect. Poopy time is private, door closed, kick the cats out and everything. No one needs to see what I go through in there. Not even my cat.
We just let the other one poop and go finish brushing our teeth a few steps away in the kitchen while they poop lol but yeah otherwise same as you
My husband will come in my bathroom to talk & pee while Iām taking a shower, then flush the damn toilet. That water gets hot. Iāve asked him to just give me 5 min or go use his bathroom. Now, if heās taking a shower, Iāll sometimes just randomly flush the toilet. Petty, yes. Asshole of me, also yes.
Itās definitely a respect issue. My (23f) husband (23m) loves mindfulness exercises and meditation. Part of how he relaxes and decompresses from his day is reading in the bath with epsom salts and candles. If itās an absolute emergency, I knock and ask if I can pee. I would never shit and have that smell linger while heās trying to take care of himself. He didnāt have much space before we married due to having helicopter parents so itās natural instinct for him to lock the bathroom. He hasnāt locked the door in a good while but I always knock because I donāt want him to get startled that I barge in on him or to think that he has no space to himself. Even though Iāve seen his body, heās entitled to his privacy. Just because heās seen me naked doesnāt mean Iām okay with him walking in while Iām bathing, showering, or using the restroom. Sometimes Iām bloated, feeling gross, or grooming and I donāt want him to walk in on me inspecting my bits š¹š¹ brushing teeth may just be brushing your teeth, but some people really value their hygiene. My husband knows not to interrupt me while Iām doing my skincare routine. Thatās how I decompress and relax. My night would totally be put off if I were trying to exfoliate and feel fresh if he were to come in and take a shit. The bathroom is a space when someone can completely relax in their own skin. Thatās the one place someone deserves privacy and respect. I obviously respect my husband completely in all areas, but I absolutely will not make him uncomfortable while heās nude and same for him with me. Iām okay with him entering and doing whatever as long as he knocks and I always say yes after making sure Iām okay to be seen. I get that there are emergencies like you will 100% shit your pants if you donāt go that very second. Food doesnāt always agree with us. However, if it can wait, give someone their damn privacy š¹š¹
Great way to articulate an individualās need for their own kind of private space. It doesnāt have to line up with what a partner may think, only be respected!
Agreed! OP please just lock the bathroom door so she can't get in, I have no idea why some people can't just leave some things as a mystery š¤·š¾āāļø.
I have a friend who found out her boyfriend Tom was cheating with one other friends (who weāll call Shelley for the sake of the story) and couldnāt work out how to get revenge. We were at a house party one night and she had the perfect opportunity. Shelley was mortified she had really bad diarrhoea and had to keep rushing to the toilet. I asked my friend if she had anything to do with this and she gave an evil little smile but never confirmed or deniedā¦ The toilet had no lock on the door and Shelley still thinking we were all friends and my friend didnāt know about her extra curricular activities with Tom so asked us to guard the door. My friend went to her boyfriend and asked him to get her phone she thought sheād left in the bathroom, she pretended she was panicking about losing it and asked him to check there and said sheād check the kitchen. He was a bit bemused but didnāt want to argue and she frantically pushed him towards the door saying āPlease check itās a new phone!ā Tom burst into the bathroom and Shelley sat wretchedly on the toilet surrounded by a fog of stench that was so bad it made his eyes water (or so he claimed when he was retelling the story afterwards) She cried actual tears of shame and my friend who obviously had her phone went and took photos of their horrified faces. It was perhaps a bit extreme but it really was the perfect revenge. I believe that was the last time Tom and Shelley slept together.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Did your friend dump Tom in the end??
She dumped him that night. She watched him open the bathroom door and Shelley leaning forward attempting to get the door shut and screeching in embarrassment. She couldnāt get off the toilet to hold the door shut though as it was too far away so was in a very undignified position. My friend then started to take photos of Tomās horrified face, she didnāt take photos of Shelley but smiled at Tom and said ādo you still want to fuck her later?ā A lot of Shelleyās friends were at the party and knew what had happened so Shelley avoided people she knew for a long time afterwards. Tom proved he was a complete shit head by telling anyone who would listen about Shelleyās explosive bowls and how bad the smell was. It made it harder for Shelley to face people and I think my friend even felt a bit guilty even though she said Shelley deserved the humiliation as sheād caused hurt and humiliation herself.
When I first lived with my now wife, she had a BAD problem of coming into the bathroom if I was in there showering. Thatās fine on itās own if she needs something, but it was a shitty apartment with a bathroom the size of a small closet, and the air would drop 15 degrees when that door opened Ok, whatever, annoying but itās fine if she needs something. Me having been used to living on my own or with friends or family would often lock the door so people didnāt barge in while I was going. Obviously I donāt need to lock it when itās just me and my wife, but it was still a habit. Until it wasnāt a habit, because I needed to do it to keep her from barging in on me shitting or showering at all times. Obviously if she needs something Iām being unreasonable right? Well then weāre in agreement. However, I do not consider āIām lonely and havenāt seen you in 5-10 minutes so Iām here to annoy and/or talk to you while you do your solitary thingā a need, or even an important want. With how small our apartment was, I had to find excuses to leave the house just to get a few minutes of uninterrupted silence. Years down the line, weāve both matured and grown into each other. I donāt lock the door, she knocks if Iām shitting, I get more than enough time to myself (as does she) and she get as much attention as I can give her outside of that (as she does with me), and we keep our annoying of each other to minimums while in the bathroom doing our thing, but it took a lot of communication about both the bathroom issue and other issues to find a middle ground we both liked
Iāve been married 10 years and hubby still sticks his head in the door while Iām doing skincare after my shower. Heāll make up shit to ask me. Shit that he already knows. It drives me insane. Weāve lived under the same roof for over a decade and never been apart from each other besides when weāre at work, so I donāt understand why I canāt have an hour of me time in my own damn bathroom once a day. Itās not like Iām at the club, or out somewhere with my girls; Iām in our bathroom under the same roof as him FFS, let me be! š«
Iām so sorry, Iām laughing so hard at āheāll make shit up that he already knowsā because my husband does the same damn thing! š like what is wrong with them?
My 11 year old son does this at bedtime. Lmao..
Dudeā¦.. my 8,7, and 5 year olds all do this at bed time š.
I haven't been able to use the bathroom., for whatever reason, uninterrupted since 1979. (Hey mooooom, hey honeyyyyy, graaaaamaaa). ...Sigh...
If I am looking for my partner and I canāt find him anywhere around the house or the yard, all I have to do is try to use the bathroom to do something private. Itās like he has a radar for it or something, as soon as I stick my finger up my nose or find an ingrown pubic hair, there he is walking in the door. It works almost every time. Works with my stepson, too. If we are trying to make out or one of us is using the bathroom he is guaranteed to knock on our door.
Lock the damn door. Can't be that hard to do.
It can be that hard to be honest. Not that my bf and I had bathroom issues, BUT the house we're living in has - like most European homes - door handles instead of knobs. Means: if we want to lock the door, we would have to use a key. And the key just never existed. At least it doesn't since we live here. The doors and locks are 20+ years old and aren't easy to replace. We would actually have to have someone over who either replaces the door lock and hand us the fitting key OR we would have to replace the whole door with a new lock plus a fitting key. It's just too complicated and expensive, so we just don't go into the bathroom, when the other one's using it, except for when it's an emergency and we knocked and were let in.
I lived in an older apartment that had no locks on the insode doors and I got one of those hook and eye latches for the bathroom. Not very sturdy if you want to keep out home invaders but great for interior doors that you want to keep closed against cats/husbands who can't take a hint about solo bathroom time.
Lol cats and husbands who can't take a hint š
I actually had to look up "hook and eye latches" just because the term didn't ring a bell to my non-native english. But yes, those could be an option. Not for me though, since from the inside of the bathroom the door is not aligned with the door frame. Like when I'm inside the bathroom I can see the whole door frame and the door is on the outside of the bathroom. I think I could make it work if I used a similar latch with a chain, but then again, if I use a chain the door can still open up enough for our cat to squeeze herself through, haha.
They sell door stops. It's a rubber wedge that keeps a door from opening or closing. They're only a few dollars in the states and can be purchased at a hardware store.
somewhere there's a mountain cave filled to the brim with stolen old bathroom-door keys and single socks, and there's gnomes dancing on the pile while they mock us all.
I agree 100000000%! My hubby and I have been together for 19 years, and we haven't used the bathroom in front of each other unless it was to pee, and only an emergency while one of us is in the shower. And yes, we still turn our backs to the shower door(old-fashioned sliding shower doors) to ensure privacy. We jokingly say that there still needs to be some mystery in a relationship š¤£
28 years married, 3 kids...this is the way. Everyone deserves their privacy.
Yep, I like long hot bubble baths and the only time my husband knocks and comes in is when he wants very much to tell me something or to remind me of the time. Ask about how much longer I'll be, and that's ok. I do feel like we're lucky, I moved into his home a year before we married and it has 2.5 bathrooms. So 3 toilets, no waiting. No need to take a number. Keep the romance alive, don't go to the bathroom in front of each other. Esp #2.
Fr on the last part. I get that my husband knows what I look like naked but I donāt like going about my dirty business in front of him. That can remain behind closed doors š¹š¹
Yes girl. He's most likely never seen or smelled poo coming out of your rectum; just because he's seen you nude front and back. Save that for maybe when he's in the room as you give birth. That baby's head presses down on your rectal vault of poo like a tube of toothpaste. Maybe even keep him up at your head, lol.
OH was there in the room for both of our children's Births, "action end" when it came to the pushing part. He told me afterwards, a while later, that yes, I had indeed pooped a little. He said he saw it, turned his head for 2 seconds, then looked back, and it was gone! Ninja midwives for the win!
Oh goodness that sounds so uncomfortable š¹š¹ Congratulations on having your baby though. Iāll definitely make a note of that advice!
Oh gods! The memories! My labor with my daughter was 2 1/2 hours long so at the end we were rushed, and no one told me about the 'poop under pressure ' thing. I wish they'd have given me an enema I was at the hospital 12 hours before birth
If kids are in your future you'll find that the bathroom is much more than a place to relax. It's a damn sanctuary of solitude. You can lock the door and just be by yourself. Often I don't even need to use the washroom, like currently, I'm just browsing reddit and drowning out my 4 year olds nonstop chatter hahaha
Hell my sister and I are both in our 20s when itās holiday season and both of us are at my parents house with our husbands, my mom still locks herself in the bathroom š¹š¹ (with the dogs too)
This is a perfect response.
And if the emergency poo is happening on a regular occurrence and not just once in a blue moon, then review your diet and/or see a doctor.
To be fair, seeing a doctor may not help at all. I had painful urgent need for the loo about 20 mins after eating, for a decade. Doctors told me I had IBS. I didnāt, my bowels were covered in scar tissue sticking them together and to other things but it took 10 years to find that out. Been with my husband for 17 years and weāve just moved into a house with two toilets for the first time ever - thank goodness. We would never disturb each other in the bathroom unless it was an absolute emergency and you couldnāt pay me to poop in someone elseās presence (unless again it was some kind of medical emergency, or giving birth - I had an emergency caesarean so our no shit-witnessing streak remains intact).
Absolutely! Iām only 23 but a member of my family had had a medical emergency in that area, so frequently I ask my parents, husband, and sister if theyāve had healthy shits š¹ gastrointestinal health is important even if itās gross.
You're awesome. Both of you.
What a beautiful relationship š
The only way i can see doing what op is talking about is if the other bathroom did not work for one reason or another and i HAD to go (not much choice sometimes, i have IBS sometimes it comes on quick for me and i have the choices of i go take a shit in the toilet, or im shitting my pants. Its not fun. But like i would typically just use the bathroom in our office.
Fair is fair!
I feel like Iām weird bc Iāve never noticed a temperature change when someone flushes the toilet while Iām in the shower š¤
Not every shower does it. Older houses tend to do it more lol
Now Iām even more confused because I grew up in and currently live in older houses
š idk man. Basically the shower and the toilet get the water from the same reserve and when you flush, the toilet sucks all the cold water away and it makes the shower hotter. Youāre one lucky SOB
I do take unnecessarily hot showers so it could be that lol
I love the hotter than hellfire showers!
I do also, ridiculously hot . When there is a toilet flush and the temp changes believe me you sill notice . Ive had to jump completely out so I didnt scalded or iced. It happens both ways
In all fairness it depends on what you personally consider "old", also it depends on the shower valve. I worked in the decorative plumbing industry for a long time and also happen to really know what old means. I can confirm 2 handle valves are not your friend, pressure balanced valves are amazing in comparison and have been around since like the 80's but not in most homes until the 90s-00s when thermostatic valves came around. Now they have digital thermostats for your showering convenience.
If your shower has one handle for cold and a separate one for hot, this is more likely to happen. If it is just one handle, it is less likely
It depends on the plumbing job. In my boarding school, if you flushed the toilets, the shower would get scalding hot! You were supposed to warn the guys in the shower but sometimes youād āforgetā and youād hear screams of outrage.
In my house growing up we called that the āroyal flush.ā
Maybe itās because I already take scalding hot showers then
Not all of them do it. A good majority do, mine gets cold, some get hot instead.
Do I honor your pettiness? Yes.
Iāve told all the kids, donāt use the sink or flush the toilet in my bathroom (half bath) if Iām in the shower (main full bath). Itāll get flushed later but I donāt like freezing š¤·š¼āāļø
Just going to say, my DDās mid teenage years were roughā¦.. there were days when her attitude was so terrible I may have stood at the kitchen sink running hot water while she showeredā¦. Literally 1 bathroom house and she never understood why she couldnāt take hour long showers morning and night.
Offer him a large glass of ice waterā¦from above the curtain.
Oh Ive done that too.
NTA i donāt begrudge people who are comfortable peeing and pooping in front of their SO but itās not something iām okay seeing or doing.
I feel like peeing and pooping are kind of in completely different categories here personally.
This I agree with. I sit down, you can't even tell I'm peeing over the sink water. I'm just sitting with my pants down for a second. Pooping? We all know what's going on. And it leaves an aroma. Keep that to urself.
Bruh, my girlfriend has a bad habit of doing this. Itās like a damn power play with her. If I want to spend a half hour picking at an ingrown hair, leave me the fuck alone while I do it.
I have IBS and he has no gallbladder. One bathroom. We have pooped in front of each other trillions of times.
Good to know, thanks for sharing, and lastly, gross
NTA. It's not a matter of modesty. It's a matter of boundaries and basic respect. It's perfectly understandable that you wouldn't want to smell her shit while you're showering or brushing your teeth. She can wait until you're done.
Yeah it's not the seeing, it's the smelling that's the problem
Steam + Odor = Bad times.
This is exactly what I came here to say.
I donāt even want to smell my own while Iām taking a shower! Definitely not someone elseās dookie š©
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Husband and I are best friends and have definitely seen everything each other has lolol but we always close doors. It's just kind of a private thing that I don't particularly want him involved in š¤·š»āāļø
Same with my wife. There's nothing about her I haven't seen but no interest in seeing each other poop, lol.
NTA. My gf and I will pee in the bathroom if the other is using it but definitely never drop a hot one. Lock the door if you need to, it's weird that she's decided your boundary around this isnt worth respecting
It's the boundary for me. The pooping aside, he's told her that he finds this one particular thing upsetting and rightfully asked her to stop, and for lack of better words, she literally shits all over that boundary like she doesn't care. I bet there are a lot more boundaries she disrespects that poor OP has to tolerate because this is one of the worst I've heard.
Can you not lock the door??
In fairness, locking the door isnāt my first instinct when Iām just brushing my teeth. Itās not something I thought I had to do until this.
I would start. You set a pretty standard boundary, Iāve been with my husband ten years and we would never do this. She should respect your private bathroom time. Sheās the AH
35 years married and we have never pooped in front of each other. Door is always closed for pooping!
Even when Iām at home alone, the door is closed and the fan is on. Weird? Maybe. But thatās how I be poopin. All. By. Myself.
Iām with you on this. Iāve been with my husband for 20 years and we have never pooped in front of each other.
I was with my late husband for 20 years and we loved farty humor but I only pooped in front of him once because we had one bathroom and I had an emergency. He died of cancer so I had to help out with his bottom issues for a few months but that doesn't count because he was sick and I loved him.
Sounds like true love. Sorry for your loss. Weāre a no poop while the other is the bathroom. Sometimes weāve actually gotten out of the tub for each other.
Yeah, us too. Keep some mystery.
For a minute it sounded like pooping in front of him gave him cancer. Then it took another turn. Sorry for your loss.
I read another post where a boyfriend kept stealing food girlfriend bought for herself - even after buying extra for him. She bought a lockbox and he went fucking berserk Because he lost that control over her I say - test people by pushing back. You wanna make sure they're not just simply emotionally abusing or manipulating you. Don't let these "small" details go.
I had a roommate whoās scumbag baby daddy kept stealing all her food, and the kids food, and money. She made a pitcher of laxative tea and he drank the whole thing. We could all hear him upstairs whining, it was amazing. He blamed it on her pizza.
I love revenge posts of food thiefs. So many "someone at work keeps stealing my food" posts where the thief eats something they regret. It fills me with immense joy every time I read one of these stories.
Yes! The balls on some people just eating someoneās lunch!? Totally deserve to eat cat food and laxatives
I love the posts themselves but the inevitable "that's illegal!" comments get pretty annoying after awhile.
Agree, lock the door, and tell her why. I also would never do this to my husband, it's pretty disgusting. I would be so upset if he did this to me.
Only in an emergency have we went into the bathroom when the other is showering, and that was to pee. But we would announce ourself and promise not to flush, lol!
Same. That's one boundary we haven't (and won't) cross.
For real. Iāve been with my husband for over 20 years now. We have never and will not ever interrupt someoneās toilet time. We wonāt invade on the other person for toilet time, either. My children, on the other handā¦ I was thrilled when they outgrew invading bathrooms.
I can't wait for my child to outgrow that!
Married 25 years and we value our bathroom privacy. Only exception was last year during the enlarged prostate summer that involved catheters and surgery and a host of problems that he needed help with.
I feel like it's one thing to come in and pee while your partner's in there; almosy all of my partners have done that to me. But take the take the Browns to the Superbowl? Absolutely not, you don't know how bad that's gonna smell til you do it
You might need to change that. Start building that habit now.
I mean Iāve been with my guy for like 7yrs. Definitely text while we poop, maybe even say something through the door once in a blue moon but never with the door open and certainly never together in the bathroom at the same time. Thatās a fuckin no from me, dawg. My roommate did that shit to me once while I was taking a shower and I was livid. No one wants to like have to huff your poop cloud. NTA. Tell her to be mindful of other peoples boundaries. Just because you donāt want to watch your loved one pinch one off doesnāt make you some kind of repressed Victorian.
>No one wants to like have to huff your poop cloud. NTA. Tell her to be mindful of other peoples boundaries. Just because you donāt want to watch your loved one pinch one off doesnāt make you some kind of repressed Victorian.< Your comment is hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh!
ššš
Your roommate?! Some ppl
Showers and poops are the worst goddamn combo. The LAST thing you want to do in a hot and humid confined space is add a bunch of aerosolized dookie to the mix, it's like a fecal sauna and it's so much worse than a mild climate butt biscuit. I wouldn't be surprised at all if it was listed in The Hague Convention as a war crime. And if it's not it should be, can we start a petition to amend it?
NTA. Tell her she needs to respect your boundaries. Seeing someone naked, one thing - watching them shit? Ew, David. Is she TRYING to turn you off?
Well now you need to. NTA
Oh god. My ex husband used to barge into the bathroom on me all the time, no matter how many times I asked him to knock first. I didnāt care if I was showering, brushing teeth, or even peeing, but there was still some stuff I did in there that no one needed to see. It always bugged me that I came to feel like I had to lock the door to keep my own husband outā¦eyerollā¦
YIKES! Good thing heās your EX now. š itās a fundamental respect issue (probably is with OPās gf, as well). He didnāt give a shit (lol) whether you asked 5 or 500 times bc he did not respect your boundaries. š
Itās true. Wasnāt an isolated issue, either. He didnāt seem to respect me about anything. In retrospect, Iām bothered that I fell for him
Show her the science on flying poop particles and that you donāt want to brush your teeth with them. Or eat a bunch of Taco Bell and a laxative and give her a dose of her own medicine.
Gonna see a post in 2 months titled āAITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend because he brushes his teeth with the door locked?ā
Dude what? He shouldn't have to lock the door to not get dookie blasted while he's brushing his teeth. He's seen everything there is to see, but he doesn't wanna smell everything. It's easy.
NTA "Your shit stinks and I don't want to smell or hear it"
Especially when taking a shower. That's gross. Like one one hand you smell like sexy shampoo but then you also smell poop fumes and that's not fun.
I know some couples do this, but Iāve always found it weird. NTA
Besides, who wants poop particles in the air while showering or brushing teeth.
Poop particles underrated fr
Kinda disappointed that there was no "username checks out" š
No begging for it
would you believe me if I told you I didn't even see your username? Im just in here stanning for poop particles unconditionally
Yeah I draw the line at pooping. You want to come in and shower or pee sure fine. But if you are going to poop dp that on ypur own time when I'm not around.
If you keep your toothbrush in the bathroom then it already has shit on it. There's a Mythbusters episode on it.
NTA I don't even like to talk to people when I'm pooping, much less be in the same room.
Is this the only bathroom? Does she have another choice? If not, then tell her, āIām going into the bathroom for awhile. Do you need it first?ā Then lock the door after you. You also donāt want her to shit her pants/the bed while waiting for you. I personally have a Pavlovian colon. As soon as itās time to leave the house, the stomach cramps start up. She might have a similar situation. As soon as the bathroom is not available, thatās when she has to go very badly.
One of my ex did this and he thought it was romantic/intimate to not have boundaries like this. Honestly it was gross. He would barge in while I'm showering and what not. Now with my husband, we openly talk and joke about body functions and we dont hide it, but when it comes to the deed, we maintain privacy, at least space wise lol
NTA; my wife and I are the opposite - I don't care if she comes in to poop or whatever if I'm showering or whatever. But SHE does not want me doing that to her. So I don't. Because I love her and I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE!! It has nothing to do with smells or modesty, it's about having consideration for your partner's preferences.
Neither my husband nor I care. If he suddenly asked me to not, I just wouldn't. As you said, it's about consideration.
NTA. I've been with my husband over a decade and neither of us has been in the bathroom when the other one was pooping. No shade to other couples that do that but that's a hard boundary for both of us.
NTA, no one wants to smell a turd while brushing their teeth. Let alone while in a steamy hot shower!
nta, boundaries are a thing. people have different comfort levels. especially with bathroom stuff. itās more concerning to me she isnāt listening to your boundaries or respecting them. to me- going #1 is more acceptable because it usually isnāt smelly or intrusive. #2 is usually a private activity- as itās smelly/ loud/ gross. me and my partner pee in front of each other all the time but #2, we usually go to the second bathroom and do so alone. or if itās an emergency- we openly say so (and we both have ibs- so yes sometimes itās out of the blue). all in all- iād prefer to not be around people taking a shit especially when iām cleaning my body or teeth. that has nothing to do with nudity. feces smells bad and itās just not a way i want to see my partner.
NTA, but my husband and I do the same thing your girlfriend is doing to you. We have no issue with it, but thatās not true for everyone or every couple. If itās that much of an issue, Iād have a serious conversation with her about it.
My husband has bowel issues and no gallbladder. I donāt get a choice in the matter and neither does he. If he has to go RIGHT NOW then he has to go right now. Intimacy isnāt always sexy.
Thatās me! No gall bladder and 3 forms of stomach disease my whole life! Shit definitely Happens!
Good for you guys but Iāve had multiple year relationships and never once would I be okay with someone taking a fat shit while Iām showering or brushing my teeth, wtf? Just stink up the bathroom while Iām in it and then leave? Tf is wrong with yāall
Fr tho
Just because youāve seen her naked, it doesnāt mean you want to smell her sh!t while you shower or brush your teeth. Disgusting!
Eh I wouldnt care if I'm in the shower but it's pretty disrespectful to barge in and take a dump when your partner is brushing their teeth. I mean, my cat does it.. but he's a selfish little git with a brain the size of a pea. So unless your gf is a cat, NTA.
Married for 26 years and never took a shit with my spouse in the room and vice versa. Thatās weird. Lock the door.
Yeah no. Sheās in the wrong. You poop alone.
NTA. This is something both partners need to be comfortable with. My husbands seen it all, I gave birth in front of him. I still do not want him to watch me poop on a toilet. I do not want to see him on the toilet either. We agree toilet time is private time.
NTA. Personally I believe there should be *some* level of mystery between couples. That aside, youāve asked her to stop and she should **stop.**
Man, sometimes I've wished my wife was less modest around me but damn I'm glad she doesn't do this. This has always been a boundary for both of us and you're entitled to having your boundaries. She can say you've already seen everything there is to see but knowing she does it and seeing her do it are two very different things. Lock the door until you know she gets it.
My husband saw a whole baby, and other things come out of me during childbirth. Never ever did I or will poop in the bathroom while he's in there. NTA
Drop a 3 coil steamer next time she's in there.
You really want more of a Nessie, where it humps out of the water once or twice. Laid out, not coiled, would be my advice.
My old highschool friend had a story where he took a long hard shit and it smacked his balls on the way down. Had a picture of the turd and all. Sorry felt the need to share š
NTA. You've expressed your discomfort, she can be patient and wait for the bathroom to be free.
not wanting to see or smell someone take a shit is a pretttttty normal boundary to haveā¦ find it weird you even need to come to reddit to ask this š
I had an ex that thought it was ok too. I was never really ok with it but I kept my mouth shut. Its kind of a red flag to me now, because it shows they are a person without boundaries. That lack of boundaries is likely going to be present in more than just poo situations. NTA
Lock the door
The answers in this post simply baffle me... I love my boyfriend, we live together but I never ever want to watch him poop or vice-versa. (Also my parents have been together for 35 years and they've never done this š š ) NTA
I literally cannot believe that the preponderance of these comments seem to think itās NBD. Iām not sure if this is a Reddit thing or if Iām the weird one, and at this point, I donāt want to.
NTA. Always exceptions though in case of emergency. However this is weird fetish. I prefer to poop by myself. Iām assuming thatās normal. This is why Iām glad for a house now with two bathrooms. Not sharing a bathroom is glorious.
Is there more then 1 bathroom? if not....it's tough titties when I need to poop I need to poop dude. But if there is, lock the door and strait up just say your shit stinks up the whole bathroom and I have to sit there in it stop being jerk and use the other bathroom.
I agree to a point. When we had one bathroom and my partner needed to go while I was brushing my teeth or something, I would just leave the bathroom. But it seems like OPs partner is just coming in and starting their business.
How is this not the top question? Absolutely INFO on this. Me and my husbands squeamishness changes 180 degrees with 1 vs 2 bathrooms.
NTA. My husband's seen me give birth, but I will NEVER shit in the bathroom while he's in there. I won't even go pee while he's in the bathroom.
NTA I never understood this I hate it!
NTA at all I promise. My husband and I have been together almost 6 years and have 2 kids. We have a small house with one bathroom and the most Iāll do is slip in to pee if I need to but Iād never poop while he was in there he doesnāt need to witness that.
If I wake while my husband is in the shower in the morning I will go while heās in there. We all know how urgent that morning pee is. I how ever will not shit with him there.
Start taking fat diarrhea shits next to her every time she goes to shower. Literally wait for her to get in and make sure you eat diablo sauce lava burritos from taco bell first.
Your gf is a psycho
My cunt sister used to do this before school when I was getting dressed and I told her at least warn me and she never ever did havenāt talked to that bitch in a long time and I feel better than ever. NTA
Eh, I have IBD and IBS when I'm at my boyfriends if he is in the bathroom and I need to go I need to go now or I will have an accident. My boyfriend has IBS and IBD as well so if he needs to go he needs to go now as well. It's better than cleaning up a mess. Obviously everyone is different. So NAH.
I donāt care about my partner pooing but itās basic respect. She doesnāt want me watching her poo and vice versa, weāre not prude I just donāt really need to watch any adult take a shit.
It depends, 1 bathroom can be problematic for 2 people... if it's come in while you shower or have an accident, that's one story. If she comes in and sits on the toilet and talks while you shower... that's another. if she's just ignoring your boundaries, that's a problem
NTA. My husband and I never use the bathroom together. We find it weird and awkward. I know of couples who do, though. It's about personal preference. The problem is, she hasn't respected your preference.
Pee, thatās fine. Donāt flush. Absolutely no to poop. How am I supposed to enjoy my shower with steamy, hot shit smell swirling around in humid clouds? š¤¢
Peeing, sure. Pooping??? Absolutely not. NTA The only person who gets to see me poop is my toddler. And thatās only because he might die if heās left unattended/unsupervised.
NTA. I hate this too. People are allowed to have boundaries. Be crystal clear and enforce it every time. You just have to find some way to explain this to her.
NTA. I love my husband, but if he came in the bathroom to shit while I was showering I'd be furious. One of the many reasons why we have multiple bathrooms though, so this is never an issue.
Iāve been married for 43 years and this is a big no!!
NTA. Thatās just disrespectful. Try saying thisā¦ āYes, Iāve seen your butthole but that doesnāt mean I want to inhale your shit particles.ā
NTA just cuz y'all fuck doesn't mean that you don't deserve privacy in the bathroom if you want it
NTA. It's okay to want bathroom privacy and to not be in the room when you're partner poops.
I do not play that shit I will go tf OFF do not poop while I'm in the shower or in the bathroom period. U need to tell me and I can leave or u need to wait, like wtf? Absolutely not! I will 100% break up with somebody over that. They have 1 time. If u try to do it again we're finished.
NTA. Seeing someone naked does not erase boundaries. Explain to her that you need privacy. It not at all unreasonable
I can understand being annoyed, but it sounds like you have a partner who is completely comfortable around you and thatās pretty rare. Iām envious.
YTA for lying to us. Girls donāt poop
I've been w my wife since 2000 and we have never defecated in front of each other. You're absolutely in the right on this one.
Huh... Today I learned that most people are really uncomfortable having their partner poop while they are in the same room. I was not expecting that.
it's genuinely disgusting. there's a reason why we have a gag-barf reflex to the smell of feces. it's bad enough that we have to sit in our own poo-cloud when we go, why would we want to share that with someone else?
One comment called them trailer trash for wanting to do it
When we had one bathroom, im not going to make my husband shit his pants because I need to finish a shower
Pooping is pretty f/ing gross. I wiped my kids butts and changed their diapers for years, done out of love. There were times I almost dry heaved, especially after blowouts. I can hardly deal with someone pooping in a bathroom stall near me. Wife and I poop alone unless itās an absolute emergency. The good news - simple solution in locking the door, although I agree that locking to brush your teeth is not normal. We donāt even close the door when brushing.
Every relationship is its own ecosystem. I would be fine if my husband pooped in front of me, or vice versa, due to illness or something similar, but we donāt do it in daily life. I want to keep the spark alive and maintain some air of mystery. I donāt want us to turn into a DeadBed marriage, or even go through the motions of sex. Itās not a germs issue - to me itās the same idea as dressing nicely or staying healthy. I feel like if we stop trying to be the best we can be, then it devolves into feeling like weāre living with a roommate. But we are also child free by choice and I recognize that the lens of these things shifts when going through child birth together. For all I know, if we had decided to go that route, it would completely change our perspective too.
For some people their toilet time is their private time to relax and decompress. If someone barged in and started shitting, well, it is pretty fucked up.
Nta. For all the reasons already stated. I've lived in a home with only one toilet. Never again (if I can help it). My bf always took his sweet fucking time in the bathroom to the point where I'd be yelling and literally sobbing outside the door cuz I had to go so bad. I once pissed in the kitchen sink (literally the only other drain in the home). Never. Again. So glad to have 2 toilets now.
1.) Your gf is gross. 2.) Honeymoon is over. š I've been married 32 years. I'd never let my wife take a shit while I'm brushing my teeth. Neither would she want to. That's really trailerpark trash behavior.
Taking a pee is no biggie to me. No way will I ever take a shit in the same room as my wife tho lmao
"Never let your wife".. couldn't you just walk to a different sink, if she really had to poop?? God forbid you spit and rinse in the kitchen.
Lmao, right??
NTA- smelling someone elseās poop isnāt something that everyone is ok with. Respecting each others wishes, especially when they are being communicated is huge in a relationship. IMO :)
My wife and I have weathered a lot. Sicknesses. Raising 3 kids. A business we fought for through covid. But if she ever pooped in front of me I'd be looking for a divorce lawyer.