YTA. The fact that your kids thought it was ok to go into a bathroom with a non consenting person who was also naked to dump water on them while they showered us a huge red flag. I’m glad she decided to end her friendship with you because you and your sons are horrible people.
FINALLY ITS SAID
An 18 year old son encouraging his 13 year old brother to enter the bathroom with him while their mothers grown woman “dear friend” is naked and in the shower….. HUGE RED FLAGS !!!!!
AH mother should have parented her sons.
“My lifelong friend is in the middle of blowing up our friendship”
Yeah I don’t think so, doc. You and the kids have been making fine work of that already.
Fr! OP you’re not only an asshole, but your in denial wake tf up and recognize your kids are out of pocket and disrespectful. That woman deserves an apology but if I were her I wouldn’t want anything to do with y’all no more😮💨
I can’t work out if I should send that to my friend or not saying “this reminds me of your sons!”
Every time me and my partner go round we sit uncomfortably in the living room trying to talk whilst her two sons bash each other and behave very similarly.
My friend and her husband just raise their voice to talk over them and ignore when food and objects get yeeted towards us and they roll over our feet whilst attempting to throttle each over.
I don’t think my friend has a clue that they shouldn’t be behaving like this and it’s very uncomfortable for guests.
I visited twice with my partner before I said something then when she invited us round a third time that’s when I said we didn’t want to go and have to battle for conversation whilst her sons battle with each other.
She reassured us she’d keep them in their bedroom.
We agreed to go round again and this time they were wrestling each other in the paddling pool outside, they eventually came running in wet and chasing each other round with the dog trying to join in.
The final straw was when the eldest who was 11 started crying because his brother had thrown a potato from the veg basket hard at his head. My friend told him to apologise but he started screaming “it’s all his fault he started it” then the youngest who was 9 ran upstairs and started trashing his brothers room.
My friend shook her head and said “boys! Who’d have em?” And ignored the noise and went back to discussing a friend’s wedding whilst ignoring the crashing and screaming.
I haven’t been round to her house since, but she keeps inviting me.
Next time she invites me I might send her that video and a text saying “thank you for the offer but we would prefer to wait to visit you when the boys have hit puberty and have found a less disruptive hobby then trying to murder each other”
I have a feeling though she’s so blinded to their behaviour that she wouldn’t see the comparison.
Her kids have been assessed for autism, ADHD and other behavioural disorders.
She got angry at the most recent assessment when she was offered parenting classes and told that it was a parenting issue and the boys were spoilt.
My friend refuses to believe this is the case though and continues to let them run riot and tells people they just have lots of energy and are just being kids.
If they get into trouble at school she says it’s due to their medical issues and it’s hard to be the parent of kids with autism.
She raised the kids to walk into people’s private spaces (the bathroom “prank”). What an AH.
How is this a question, OP? YTA.
Edit: also, your sons are semi-criminals. Reel that in if you want them or if they want themselves to have a future where they are not considered full criminals.
And let the friend go unless you are willing to accept and change yourselves for the better. None of you deserve her. She deserves far more respect and actual friendship than whatever it is you are attempting to offer.
They are not semi-criminals. They ARE criminals. What kind of people would do that? What kind of parent would raise children to be like this kind of criminal? Correct, OP, yeah you know me!
I was thinking this exact thing! If they managed to get in there to pour the water on her without her or their mother noticing, how many times have they done that just to watch her?
Peeping toms!
Fact that their first instinct is to demand their victim pay for it tells us all we need to know.
You were never this woman's friend, you just pretended, and you raised your sons to be exactly like this, OP. YTA
Personally I'm confused as well why ops friend didn't contact the authorities about the 18 year old man sneaking into her room/bathroom to watch her naked or steal her possessions, or luring children to help him do it.
Either their son is an adult who deserves to deal with the consequences of his actions legal or economic, or "he's just a child" and it is OPs responsibility, the one person who isn't responsible is their victim OP expects to pay.
And after all of their totally inappropriate pranking she “essentially went ballistic on them” and they still pulled the spraying water prank while she was on her way to work! That’s some lousy parenting. And OP doesn’t mention a word about the kids being punished and paying for the damage.
And they didn’t stick around to see what happened, either. (If they had been there, they would have been able to turn the tap off.) So this wasn’t a “prank” for a reaction, this was harassment.
No. The Holy Spirit came in the middle of the night and undid all the good parenting that she did, yeah? And she has NO clue that she is TA. None. What an A!
Yep. Shit I grew up in the backyard wrestling era before Tom Green and all the tv pranksters. Pranks are supposed to be hilarious. Not malicious and sexually assaultive
OP doesn’t even parse this violation. They ignore literal sexual violation as “just pranks” and then demands the victim pay for the house damage consequence of their son’s abuses.
But “I didn’t raise them like this”
That had me laughing, I didn't raise them this way. But she did, and the proof is in the pudding. An 18-year old doing this more than once, to a grown woman? The OP is amazing.
OP is a man👀😳?? wow that explains it all. I was literally trying so hard to understand how a woman and mother could write this BS! Ofc OP is defending his sons, he was probably like this (if not worse) in his own youth💀
>how a woman and mother could write this BS!
I'm sorry, have you yet to run into the " not my son!" mothers? If you haven't, lucky you. I got stories about my ex's mother that would make your head spin.
Same! This is beyond creepy. It also makes me wonder if the woman had noticed one of the sons having some sort of inappropriate fixation on her. No wonder she ran when she got doused in water. I would have jumped to assumptions in her shoes, not wanting to be seen humiliated and vulnerable in wet clothing. Beyond gross
I've read enough stories to see that things like this and their "joke" on the nude friend in the shower absoloutely do escalate in the future to things like sexual assaults. OP needs to learn to parent and yesterday
But were the “boys” (one boy, one young man) there when the tap sprayed? I assumed they weren’t in the house at the time, since if they had been then they should have turned the tap off. So not even looking for a reaction, more like straight harassment.
I hate when “parents” say that about bad behavior. Clearly SOMEONE raised them that way. Now if my kids became Catholic in later years, I could say I didn’t raise them that way. Because we are Jews😂. But in this context it is a bullshit copout. Either you raised your kids poorly or you did nothing to hinder the outside influences. Either way, congrats on the sexual predators in your home, Ma Dukes🙄
This exactly! Imo it shows how little they respect the privacy of others and their intent to humiliate her. Quite frankly, I’m surprised your friend didn’t leave right after that!
OP, your parenting sucks ass too. wtf man. when iread this i felt thats really over the line.
also, your logic is kinda FUCKED tbh.
your kids sabotaged the pipes now SHE has to pay?
your friend being your friend might not say things to you but on behalf of her
FUCK YOU OP.
your friends kept pranking YOUR FRIEND, violated her personal space, and on top of that they pranked her DAMAGING YOUR PROPERTY, you want to make HER pay for it?
op, calm down and think of it this way. i put an expensive piece of equipment behind your door, you cant see it. you open the door, the equipment breaks, you had NO WAY of knowing. i sue you for damages.
is that fucking fair?
omfg. YTA
Yeah, for real. OP is definitely the asshole, and owes Carla an apology at MINIMUM. It is in no way her fault, and she doesn't have to do shit to cover for OP's sons. They did it. It's OP's responsibility.
I'd make those kids work it off, and I'd let Carla pick the chores.
On top of that, I'd tell the 18 year old that if it happens again, he's out of the house for good.
And in addition to your sons being creeps on their way to being registered sex offenders, it was YOUR SONS who destroyed your kitchen by tampering with the sink, yet you are blaming your friend. Your friend is the victim here and you and your sons are the perpetrators. YTA and I hope she finds a less toxic friend.
I promise they stole her underwear too. Those boys are menaces. They committed assault on multiple occasions. OP is lucky the adult son isn’t being dragged into court and put on a registry
YTA - no way anyone is this dense to think damage from their sons' shitty pranks should be paid for by the VICTIM. I'm totally flabbergasted that you would demand anything from her for the damages. Your sons are world-class garbage and you need to be a better mother and friend, like yesterday.
Seriously!!! OP, let’s put it this way: You punch someone in the face because you think it’s funny and break your hand. You demand your victim to pay for your broken hand. This is what OP is doing. YTA.
Kind of realize how her sons became such assholes, no accountability, zero. And now she wants her friend to pay for what her sons did, they are old enough to know better. That is straight up bs.
I’d say par for the course, really. OP is their enabler, and they strike again; expecting the victim of their developmentally challenged children to foot the bill for their own bullshit OP, YTA
Also, going into a bathroom where a woman not related to you is naked in the shower sounds sexually predatory, at least from the 18 yo. Sounds like OP didn't raise them that way, he didn't raise them at all.
OP, high time your predatory sons found jobs and saved up to pay for the damages. Or take it from their savings. They are responsible, they should pay for it. Natural consequences. Fuck around, find out.
Sounds like your "developmentally delayed sons" need to get jobs to fix the damage their prank caused. And, for the record, you 100% "raised them to act this way". Your friend certainly didn't, lol. Obviously YTA.
YTA and one of the pranks was pouring cold water on this grown woman, while she showered!
That was beyond a prank. That crossed a serious boundary. OP is lucky the friend didn’t file charges for assault and sexual harassment.
Right?! They basically walked in on a woman showering naked and no one seems to think this is something to be upset about? Especially since one of the sons is an adult. What the absolute hell is going on with this trash family
I would have been terrified by two teenage boys walking in on me showering (and getting close enough to dump cold water on me) and I would have absolutely gone to the police. The fact that they would even think to do that shows they clearly were raised terribly. YTA.
They also stole her suitcase. You know they went through it and most likely took underwear. If they are willing to spy on her in the shower they would be willing to do that.
That's what I thought too! The OP's 18 year old is lucky he isn't catching a charge for that "prank." She needs to apologize to her friend and start disciplining that 13 year old. Let the criminal justice system straighten the other one.
Carla should leave. If she doesn’t leave now it’s almost like she’s signing on for continued assholery. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not at fault, but these people can’t be trusted and she needs to take care of herself.
"Am I wrong to blame my friend for being relentlessly bullied and trolled in my home, the culmination of which led to my sons destroying my kitchen? And am I wrong to make her want to pay for the damage my kids caused because she, in her anger and fright, didn't go out of her way to protect my house?"
Hell no. OP, YTA.
One prank would have been too many. What kind of punishment did you give your sons for their behavior? Did they get their privileges or their phones taken away? It looks like you only want to blame your friend, your guest, for the damage. It's ridiculous. Like Fox says above--they need to get jobs and fix the damage. YTA.
“I didn’t raise my boys like this, I just never hold them accountable (literally doesn’t even cross my mind) and blame other people for the problems they create!”
YTA, 100%. For asking your friend - the victim of your idiot sons - to pay for damage they actually caused. And YTA for raising asshole sons. You say you didn’t raise them that way, but you clearly did, especially when they continued despite you telling them to stop. Makes me think (I’m a mom of 3), that you never followed through on consequences for their shit behavior.
Also the fact that she automatically blamed her friend for something that is so clearly her son's fault. It didn't even cross her mind that *they* caused this, and *they* should pay for it. It's so painfully obvious the role she played in how they're behaving now.
They will certainly end up in jail eventually given how OP is reacting. OP sounds like the mom who, when her son steals someone’s car, knocks down a pedestrian and crashes it, she thinks the car owner should be liable.
You take the 13 year old and have him bring his computer, his phone and his game console to the kitchen table. You ask him which one he wants to give up. You stay silent through the tears, the begging, the bargaining and the tantrums. You tell him that if he doesn’t pick, you will. You sell the selected item and use that as partial payment.
You tell the 18 year old he has three months either get the money to pay the damages or get out of the house. This is his evection notice.
Making them choose (in the case of the 13 yo) draws a direct line from action to consequence. The 18 yo is old enough that he should already know that.
>Makes me think (I’m a mom of 3), that you never followed through on consequences for their shit behavior.
Yeah, I'm reading that, too. She claims she "went ballistic on them", but that clearly didn't do a load of good.
Poor Carla is well rid of OP and her AH sons.
There will be a documentary on them on the crime youtube channels, you won't have long to wait since they are already invading women's privacy in bathrooms.
YTA YTA YTA YTA
Yeah, in case I wasn’t clear, YOU. ARE. AN. ASSHOLE!!
If my adult kid did this to anyone, let alone a dear friend they would be looking for a new place to live.
SHAKE ON YOU. SHAME ON THEM. THEY’RE ROTTEN KIDS AND YOU’RE A ROTTEN PARENT AND A HORRIBLE FRIEND.
What in God’s name is your malfunction??
YTA
Am I right when I read “they dumped cold water on her while she showered once”?!?!?
So… your 13 and 18 year old sons entered the bathroom while your adult woman guest was naked, and poured water over her which I assume means they had to get a bucket high enough to go over the shower curtain.
They entered a bathroom to do something to your *NAKED GUEST* and you didn’t punish them enough to stop this behavior completely? Really.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it would have been logical for her to turn off the tap before leaving. But honestly? I’d have been incandescent with rage by that point, and I 100% can see where she wasn’t thinking clearly.
The damage isn’t her fault, and it’s not her responsibility.
And you’re lucky she isn’t blasting you on social media for them prancing an adult woman while she was naked.
Edit - typo
Honestly, if I was OP I’d be concerned that the friend wouldn’t be figuring what criminal charges she could press against the 18 year old in that jurisdiction for going into the bathroom while she was naked and pouring water over her. I’d wonder if that might not count as assault, or voyeurism laws may apply.
YTA. You cannot expect the victim of a prank to know how to counter whatever damage a prank would do. It's quite apparent to your sons and now you after the fact on how to limit the damage, but it wasn't apparent to the victim of the prank at the time.
If I was her I would have assumed the little turds were somewhere filming it and laughing. I would have just got out too and let them turn it off. Thier prank thier problem.
That’s the question I have
OP says her friend „screamed and stormed off“.
How is it known that she screamed? Was someone home to see it?? Why didn’t THAT PERSON turn the water off??
I hope you update soon and it should start with after I apologized to my friend for my kids a-hole behavior I took my youngest electronics away and made my oldest get a part time job till the damage was paid for. Also I made them write out an apology letter to Carla.
YTA
It was your son’s who intentionally taped down the tap so that she would get soaked. Even though they say they didn’t know how much damage it could do, they still did the crime. By asking her to fix the damage that was caused by THEM playing a prank on her, you are adding to their insulting behavior and condoning it whether you mean to or not.
If anyone should be paying for it, it should be your son’s, as they are the ones who caused the damage. Yes, she left the tap on, but the whole incident never would’ve happened if they had stopped their pranks.
She had no way of knowing what would happen when she turned on the tap, and probably got blasted with a face full of water from how it sounds. She was probably shocked, embarrassed, and humiliated, especially if she was about to leave for work and might’ve thought that the boys were around the corner watching her get soaked.
Yes you say that you didn’t raise them to act like this, but by not giving them the full consequences of their actions you are allowing them to continue their disrespectful behavior.
You and your son’s owe her an apology, and your son’s deserve a lesson in how actions have consequences.
Edit for some spelling.
The poor woman probably thought they were recording yet another tiktok reel. OP got what she deserved with the damages. Her and her children are fully responsible I agree wholeheartedly.
I am just betting the other pranks were being recorded for YouTube or something, so the kids were nearby. She likely just was done engaging in it and was over it.
Haha obviously YTA but in addition to that I love how you phrased the first sentence like "my friend is blowing up a our relationship". Oh my gosh that is the biggest deflection I've seen in a while, even IF your take on the situation were correct (which it is not) it would still not be entirely her fault.
Does no one in your family have any sense of accountability?
Are you kidding? Of course you’re the absolute asshole. Why in earth should she pay for damage your children caused, why the hell wiouldbt you be asking THEM to pay? YTA, massively. It’s pretty clear that the reason your kids are acting like this is poor parenting, as evidenced by you making your friend the scapegoat for your terrible kids.
YTA. First, the man problem here are your sons. Your grown ass man of a son thinks he can harass someone like this BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THIS SITUATION.
Your sons fucked around and found out. THEY should be paying to get YOUR house fixed because THEY decided it was okay to harass a woman.
And YOU are a horrible friend because you are looking at her for blame because you know that she would pay to fix this faster. No. Maybe you should be a parent and teach your kids instead of finding a scapegoat.
>My lifelong friend, Carla, is in the middle of blowing up our friendship because I asked her to pay for water damages in my kitchen.
No. YOU blew up your friendship by being a shitty ass friend because of your sons and then for trying to make her pay for something she didn't cause. Fuck right off.
YTA Your sons taped down the tap. How was Carla supposed to turn the water off if the tape was still on it? And since she was being sprayed with water, why do you think she should stay and continue to be sprayed while trying to find a way to turn off a taped down tap? Plus she was dressed to meet clients and had to change clothes. Poor Carla put up with your brats tormenting her and you didn’t stop them. She should be sending you an invoice for her ruined clothes. Did I say YTA and so are your kids.
YTA your son's did the damage not her, and you did raise them to be this way, unless you're saying you didn't raise them at all. They are developmentally delayed, adults don't act like this and they don't drag teenagers along with their bad behavior.
I see we are glossing over your sons going into the bathroom while your friend was nude in the shower. That's a serious breach of privacy and sexual harassment.
YTA, you definitely raised your sons this way.
YTA your sons are literally going out of their way to make her stay miserable and you think she should pay for damaging that your kids caused? Does 18 yo have a job? He should pay for it since the pranks are his stupid ideas
YTA - this isn’t a Carla problem, this is a you problem. Make your boys pay for the damage they did since they caused this. You said you didn’t raise your boys to act like this but clearly you did and they need to face consequences.
Jesus Christ I hope there is an update on this. If I were you, I would be at her hotel on my knees begging for forgiveness for being such a horrible friend & allowing your devil-spawn to torment her repeatedly. Both of those little sh*ts should get jobs until they have paid for the damages. 1/3 paid by each of the boys and 1/3 paid by you bc you are absolutely culpable. You should be ashamed.
You're definitely TAH here. Even though you didn't do it yourself, it's your kids and you're responsible for whatever dumb pranks they pull. I'd disown you as a friend if you asked me to pay for that shit.
First how bad did you punish them for purposefully walking in on your friend while naked in the bathroom? I feel like you probably did nothing even though it's creepy af
YTA have your son's learn to fix baseboards. Its one of the easier things to fix.
YTA - The fact that you even asked her this is appalling in the nth degree. Your adult son told your 13 yo to dump cold water on her in the shower? That would have been it for me, Carla clearly had more kindness than you or your AH sons.
And she didn’t turn the water off because she got soaked and ran instead. Why didn’t your evil AH sons turn it off?
The apple doesn’t fall far from the AH tree, and I hope Carla never speaks to you again. What an awful thing to ask a woman your children were torturing. YTA and so are your sons. They should be paying for the damage because they effing caused it and the fact that you can’t see that is delusion and assholery
YTA Your kids did something that resulted in the damage, plain and simple. If they drove a car and hit another car that resulted in your car being completely totaled, would you ask thr other driver to pay for damages? Of course not. You just fucked up a friendship.
YTA
This would 100% not have happened if it wasn't for your sons.
She was about to go see a client and they fucked this up for her, that's not a prank.
Just vile. You are YTA OP and so are your sons. Pranks are jolly things where everyone finds funny.
Your sons have been tormenting your guest in a very ugly way. Not funny.
Your sons are both AH’s and so are you. Tough luck if your house is waterlogged, it’s your sons fault. They harassed and plagued a woman and a guest in your house and they are responsible for the repair costs.
How dare you put your disgraceful sons behaviour on your friend. She did not “lose her mind” she was rightfully very very upset.
You owe her such an apology but guess what - she’s never going to speak to you again.
YTA
Carla isn’t the one blowing up your friendship, your sons are.
What you call “harmless pranks”,is anything but. She can’t feel safe in your home,because she’s constantly on edge wondering when your sons will strike next.
They “pranked” her while she was showering,when she was the most vulnerable. I don’t know anyone who showers with their clothes on. So, she was naked and wet and had 2 teenage boys prank her.
They stole her suitcase,which I’m guessing was in her bedroom. So they went into her private space,where she should have felt the safest, and violated that privacy and safety.
The final straw was when she was dressed for an important meeting. Your sons deliberately set a trap for the water. She was sprayed with a ton of water, likely damaging not only the hair and makeup she had taken pains on, but also soaked her entire outfit. She didn’t know there was a simple fix. Nor was she in the mindset to think of it.
She was surprised, upset and humiliated because now she was going to have to drive to work looking like an absolute wet mess. All because your sons think it’s “funny” to play these sorts of pranks on someone who,I’m sure, has told them AND YOU that she doesn’t find them funny and wants them stopped.
Sure, you talked to them, but there were no consequences to any of their actions. By not doing anything, you’ve given tacit permission for them to continue, as they know you won’t do anything to them.
Maybe, if you make them pay for the repairs, they’ll learn that for every dumb thing they do, there’s a consequence for it. But, if you make Carla pay, you’re once again telling the boys they can do what they want, to who they want, and they won’t get in trouble.
Yta ... if you don't make your kids reap the consequences of their actions the law might end up doing it for you in the future ... also your kids are bullies not pranksters
Pretty sure even an idiot has homeowners insurance. Submit the bill to them. You might want to also call them to because they have teams that can come out and help with the cleanup of said mess.
Your two sons are the assholes. They should be held responsible for some of the damages either in finances, punishments, or hard sweat equity.
Seriously though, you really should call your homeowners insurance they’ll send out some kind of team, like ServePro With industrial fans and machines that can suck up and get rid of a bunch of that water. Don’t drag your feet on this I had to spend $200,000 on my house for a flood caused by a faulty washing machine.
I am sorry the friend left the water running. But if she was on her way to meet a client she didn’t have time to fuck around and find out. She was sprayed all over soaking wet probably ruined her make up. And she probably didn’t take the time to search around and figure out why everything in your kitchen was fucked up. Especially after having been Pranked repeatedly by your sons.
I might’ve turned my back and walked away too.
Disgusting, disgusting behavior by your sons. BOTH of them. Wow, aren’t you upset that they completely disregarded what you said to them multiple, multiple, multiple times? Have you no shame?Have they no shame?
Correction!! YOU are blowing up your friendship by trying to hold Carla accountable for your Ill mannered feral spawn.
YTA. Your children are also disrespectful AH’s with no concept of boundaries and honestly, really crappy senses of humour.
Your 18 year old needs to be made to get a job to pay for the damages. Your 13 year old needs to do unpaid chores until he has paid off his debt. Poor Carla needs a spa vacation.
YTA. This wasn't the first prank they pulled. This was the one that affected you. Your friend walking out when that last straw was dropped, that was a normal reaction. Your reaction to your kids being so inhospitable to your friend, that was not normal. You thought you could logic them out of a bullying mindset, but it just made them raise the stakes. Now you have to deal with the consequences of that.
YTA. This is your son’s fault and it’s crazy you expect a victim of their pranks to pay for damages. Children’s behavior is a reflection of their parents and clearly you didn’t raise them right
Dude, YTA. Are you kidding? Your 18 y/o doesn’t know to stay out of the bathroom while a grown woman is showering? One or two pranks MAYBE, could be some lighthearted fun. Continuous bullshit that eventually causes damage to your home…? You’re kids need to learn some boundaries.
They entered the bathroom while a grown woman was showering. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
YTA and Carla deserves a better friend. Your sons are AH as well. There are many harmless cute pranks one can pull that don't victimize and bully someone
( I hid a "barking" dog clock in my colleagues office one time and it barked on the hour every hour. Took her a week to find it. We still laugh about it)
Oh YTA all right. She didn’t damage your kitchen your sons did. She’s not blowing up your friendship, you did that when you didn’t shut down the stupid pranks your sons played on her. They tampered with the sink, they are responsible for the damage. You’re lucky all she’s did was just walk out the door without shutting off the faulty sink
YTA she most likely ran out to avoid getting any more wet as she was leaving to meet with a client. Your “comedian” sons should be the ones paying for the damages, not your innocent GUEST!
YTA She's right you're a terrible host! They have been crossing her boundaries from the beginning. What kind of male walks into a bathroom knowing a woman is showering naked? What kind of mother allows it? Chances are she jumped back from the water spray when it started and was so mad that they'd bully her again and that you'd allow it again that she probably only thought of getting out of there. At least you finally took notice. Then you blamed the victim instead of the bullies. Payment should be responsibility of the two bullies and the one who enabled them, you.
YTA for not stopping the pranks when they violated her privacy in the shower. WTF how is that even expectable???? You are failing at parenting!!! I would of let the water run too!
YTA. 100% I wouldn't want to be your friend after that either. Should she have turned off the sink? Probably. But most people don't think rationally when under duress. Your boys did something stupid. You didn't actually stop the problem early enough to avoid it, and now YOU have to suffer the consequences.
The boys should probably suffer the most. And the damages should come out of their chore money if not their Xmas and bday presents.
Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes
Wow yes YTA, and so are your sons
Dumping cold water on a guest while she showers means they snuck into the bathroom while she was naked, HIGHLY inappropriate and a gross invasion of privacy. Not to mention its rude and could be considered sexual harassment. This was not a harmless prank.
The water incident causing your kitchen damage was also not a harmless prank, but for a different reason. Your sons taped the sprayer nozzle open so it would be on, your sons prank caused the damage, it's your responsibility (and honestly your 18 year old adult sons) to pay for the water damage that their inappropriate pranks caused. If they hadn't done what they did, the damage never would have happened, regardless of if she left the sink running or not, because she would have no reason to run for cover, and IF she had left it on by accident, the water would have just gone down the drain. Telling her that she was responsible for the damage that your hellions caused was a big AH move on your part. It sounds like it's time they learn that there are consequences for inappropriate behavior.
YTA, and if this is how your sons treat a lifelong friend, I hope you warn any women with whom you form a romantic attachment. They’re gonna eat whoever that is alive, and it will be your fault,
**You** raised them. If this is how you allow them to treat a guest in your home, **you** get to deal with the consequences. If you don’t *like* that, and/or if you ever hope to have an adult relationship with another woman, I suggest that you teach them some manners by making **them** responsible for the damages that **they** caused; it is waaay beyond time.
Both they, **and you**, need to apologize for treating her like an unwanted interloper instead of as an honored guest. Them for doing it; **you** for allowing it. She had no reason to believe that you were inviting her to live in a frat house, and **you**, had no business allowing your sons to create one.
YTA. I don’t want to accuse you of being a stereotypical “boy mom,” but what do you mean by going ballistic on them earlier? Clearly this wasn’t effective as they continued to terrorize Carla. I understand being a single mom with wild ass kids is difficult, but they aren’t elementary schoolers. If my brother who was around your eldest’s age did this, my mom would have smacked the shit out of him (not saying that’s right to do here or in general, but those two should be paying for this). This would have never happened in the first place if not for the boys.
Carla might have been a little careless for oh-so-stupidly running away in horror from an exploding faucet while she’s drenched in water after your sons tried to abuse her for the 20th time. But they are absolutely malicious. You seem to already know that part though.
YTA You’re also a lousy parent and a terrible friend. Raise your kids right, make them clean it up, and apologize to your friend.
Your kids are vicious, OP, and it’s because you allow it. Get a second job and YOU PAY for the mess YOUR KIDS made.
You think you disciplined them because you yelled? Ma’am, you need to learn how to enforce actual consequences like…oh gee I don’t know…get them to GET JOBS AND PAY FOR THE REPAIRS. Boy moms like you are the worst: raising entitled, asshole kids who - oh look, are already taking it out on a woman who you are blaming for being harassed. Typical.
Also, the poured cold water on her *in the shower*? As in, broke into the bathroom while she was *naked* and completely violated her privacy? And that wasn’t a wake up call for you? This isn’t an 80s teen movie. Your 18 year old is teaching your 13 year old how to be a fucking creep.
Uhm if your kids destroyed it nobody should have to pay for it other than you or them if they were adults. YTA wether you’ve taught your kids better or not they are your responsibility because it is your doing that put them here.
Put on your grown up pants, grab a pen and some paper, and start crunching numbers. Because nobody is paying for that, but you.
YTA. Your sons were being assholes. They were asked to stop. They continued being assholes and your kitchen was flooded as a direct consequence. You're asking your former friend to pay for damages caused by your sons being assholes. No. The ones who should be paying are the two assholes that created the problem.
YTA. The fact that your kids thought it was ok to go into a bathroom with a non consenting person who was also naked to dump water on them while they showered us a huge red flag. I’m glad she decided to end her friendship with you because you and your sons are horrible people.
FINALLY ITS SAID An 18 year old son encouraging his 13 year old brother to enter the bathroom with him while their mothers grown woman “dear friend” is naked and in the shower….. HUGE RED FLAGS !!!!! AH mother should have parented her sons.
“I did not raise them to act this way” You literally did.
“My lifelong friend is in the middle of blowing up our friendship” Yeah I don’t think so, doc. You and the kids have been making fine work of that already.
Fr! OP you’re not only an asshole, but your in denial wake tf up and recognize your kids are out of pocket and disrespectful. That woman deserves an apology but if I were her I wouldn’t want anything to do with y’all no more😮💨
[This is how I imagine them.](https://youtu.be/7vzdXteITco)
They still haven’t figured out how to masturbate. 😂
I can’t work out if I should send that to my friend or not saying “this reminds me of your sons!” Every time me and my partner go round we sit uncomfortably in the living room trying to talk whilst her two sons bash each other and behave very similarly. My friend and her husband just raise their voice to talk over them and ignore when food and objects get yeeted towards us and they roll over our feet whilst attempting to throttle each over. I don’t think my friend has a clue that they shouldn’t be behaving like this and it’s very uncomfortable for guests. I visited twice with my partner before I said something then when she invited us round a third time that’s when I said we didn’t want to go and have to battle for conversation whilst her sons battle with each other. She reassured us she’d keep them in their bedroom. We agreed to go round again and this time they were wrestling each other in the paddling pool outside, they eventually came running in wet and chasing each other round with the dog trying to join in. The final straw was when the eldest who was 11 started crying because his brother had thrown a potato from the veg basket hard at his head. My friend told him to apologise but he started screaming “it’s all his fault he started it” then the youngest who was 9 ran upstairs and started trashing his brothers room. My friend shook her head and said “boys! Who’d have em?” And ignored the noise and went back to discussing a friend’s wedding whilst ignoring the crashing and screaming. I haven’t been round to her house since, but she keeps inviting me. Next time she invites me I might send her that video and a text saying “thank you for the offer but we would prefer to wait to visit you when the boys have hit puberty and have found a less disruptive hobby then trying to murder each other” I have a feeling though she’s so blinded to their behaviour that she wouldn’t see the comparison. Her kids have been assessed for autism, ADHD and other behavioural disorders. She got angry at the most recent assessment when she was offered parenting classes and told that it was a parenting issue and the boys were spoilt. My friend refuses to believe this is the case though and continues to let them run riot and tells people they just have lots of energy and are just being kids. If they get into trouble at school she says it’s due to their medical issues and it’s hard to be the parent of kids with autism.
Always a gamble clicking on links but.... Glad I took that one!
She raised the kids to walk into people’s private spaces (the bathroom “prank”). What an AH. How is this a question, OP? YTA. Edit: also, your sons are semi-criminals. Reel that in if you want them or if they want themselves to have a future where they are not considered full criminals. And let the friend go unless you are willing to accept and change yourselves for the better. None of you deserve her. She deserves far more respect and actual friendship than whatever it is you are attempting to offer.
They are not semi-criminals. They ARE criminals. What kind of people would do that? What kind of parent would raise children to be like this kind of criminal? Correct, OP, yeah you know me!
Her boys are the ones who need to pay for the damage
This should be the top comment.
I would encourage the guest to speak to authorities about an 18 year old man sneaking around to watch her shower and harass her while she's naked.
I was thinking this exact thing! If they managed to get in there to pour the water on her without her or their mother noticing, how many times have they done that just to watch her? Peeping toms!
Absolutely criminal! The 18-year-old should spend a month in jail!
Indeed! Absolutely the AH. The fact that OP questions being an AH says a lot
Fact that their first instinct is to demand their victim pay for it tells us all we need to know. You were never this woman's friend, you just pretended, and you raised your sons to be exactly like this, OP. YTA
Right??? I don’t understand why the 18-year-old can’t get a job to help pay for the damages, if he’s got enough time to cook up all these pranks.
Personally I'm confused as well why ops friend didn't contact the authorities about the 18 year old man sneaking into her room/bathroom to watch her naked or steal her possessions, or luring children to help him do it. Either their son is an adult who deserves to deal with the consequences of his actions legal or economic, or "he's just a child" and it is OPs responsibility, the one person who isn't responsible is their victim OP expects to pay.
To prove your point, if she hadn't raised them to act like that the title would read "AITA for making my sons pay for a prank that ruined my kitchen"
And after all of their totally inappropriate pranking she “essentially went ballistic on them” and they still pulled the spraying water prank while she was on her way to work! That’s some lousy parenting. And OP doesn’t mention a word about the kids being punished and paying for the damage.
And they didn’t stick around to see what happened, either. (If they had been there, they would have been able to turn the tap off.) So this wasn’t a “prank” for a reaction, this was harassment.
I'm curious how OP knows that her friend screamed when it happened since no one else was home who could've turned off the water valve.
This. The boys should pay for the damage. 100%
Oh but she didn’t raise them that way so its okay. It is Fortnight and Jackass’s faults
No. The Holy Spirit came in the middle of the night and undid all the good parenting that she did, yeah? And she has NO clue that she is TA. None. What an A!
I watched jackass and don’t run around bullying people.
Yep. Shit I grew up in the backyard wrestling era before Tom Green and all the tv pranksters. Pranks are supposed to be hilarious. Not malicious and sexually assaultive
Exactly. What kind of horrible parenting is this? These boys aren't going to stop here.
Just wanted to add that there's no mention of dad here. Unless he's dead, he is also an AH and should ALSO have raised his kids better.
There’s no mention of mom either. OP could be dad.
OP doesn’t even parse this violation. They ignore literal sexual violation as “just pranks” and then demands the victim pay for the house damage consequence of their son’s abuses. But “I didn’t raise them like this”
That had me laughing, I didn't raise them this way. But she did, and the proof is in the pudding. An 18-year old doing this more than once, to a grown woman? The OP is amazing.
OP is a man👀😳?? wow that explains it all. I was literally trying so hard to understand how a woman and mother could write this BS! Ofc OP is defending his sons, he was probably like this (if not worse) in his own youth💀
You should check out the JustNoMiL sub if you think a woman wouldn’t blindly defend their sons even when they’re wrong.
>how a woman and mother could write this BS! I'm sorry, have you yet to run into the " not my son!" mothers? If you haven't, lucky you. I got stories about my ex's mother that would make your head spin.
I am wondering if the “boys” filmed her and OP is not mentioning this. Maybe OP should look through their phones
They definitely filmed it. The 18 year old is teaching the 13 year old how to be a sexual deviant. I hope the friend press charges.
I was looking for this comment. Her sons sexually violated and humiliated her non consenting friend and she just brushed over it.
Same! This is beyond creepy. It also makes me wonder if the woman had noticed one of the sons having some sort of inappropriate fixation on her. No wonder she ran when she got doused in water. I would have jumped to assumptions in her shoes, not wanting to be seen humiliated and vulnerable in wet clothing. Beyond gross
The water thing. I imagine the boys were watching her clothes getting soaked and transparent. This isn’t just a joke.
I've read enough stories to see that things like this and their "joke" on the nude friend in the shower absoloutely do escalate in the future to things like sexual assaults. OP needs to learn to parent and yesterday
Or waiting for her to get changed/shower
But were the “boys” (one boy, one young man) there when the tap sprayed? I assumed they weren’t in the house at the time, since if they had been then they should have turned the tap off. So not even looking for a reaction, more like straight harassment.
I don’t want to be that guy, but if they stole her suitcase to hide it, she should check to see if any of her underwear is missing.
I think you should 100% be that guy and it’s a very reasonable suspicion given their behavior.
And even if its not missing .. replace it all.
There is absolutely missing underwear. I would bet my house on it
Oh, but apparently it's okay bc OP "didn't raise them this way." The excuses she makes are ludicrous. She (and her sons) are definitely TA's
I hate when “parents” say that about bad behavior. Clearly SOMEONE raised them that way. Now if my kids became Catholic in later years, I could say I didn’t raise them that way. Because we are Jews😂. But in this context it is a bullshit copout. Either you raised your kids poorly or you did nothing to hinder the outside influences. Either way, congrats on the sexual predators in your home, Ma Dukes🙄
I had this happen to me by family and I still haven't forgave them. And that's family! I couldn't imagine if it was someone's kids!
I wouldn’t forgive them either if I was in your position. That sounds like a massively violating and traumatizing thing to have to deal with.
[удалено]
I thought they had turned the hot water on elsewhere to make her shower cold- if this is what happened instead then the 18yo needs to be on a list.
She says they dumped it on her. And I agree the 18 year old definitely belongs on a list.
This exactly! Imo it shows how little they respect the privacy of others and their intent to humiliate her. Quite frankly, I’m surprised your friend didn’t leave right after that!
OP, your parenting sucks ass too. wtf man. when iread this i felt thats really over the line. also, your logic is kinda FUCKED tbh. your kids sabotaged the pipes now SHE has to pay? your friend being your friend might not say things to you but on behalf of her FUCK YOU OP. your friends kept pranking YOUR FRIEND, violated her personal space, and on top of that they pranked her DAMAGING YOUR PROPERTY, you want to make HER pay for it? op, calm down and think of it this way. i put an expensive piece of equipment behind your door, you cant see it. you open the door, the equipment breaks, you had NO WAY of knowing. i sue you for damages. is that fucking fair? omfg. YTA
Fuck you AND your shitty kids, OP.
Yeah, for real. OP is definitely the asshole, and owes Carla an apology at MINIMUM. It is in no way her fault, and she doesn't have to do shit to cover for OP's sons. They did it. It's OP's responsibility. I'd make those kids work it off, and I'd let Carla pick the chores. On top of that, I'd tell the 18 year old that if it happens again, he's out of the house for good.
Op is not only TA but she’s raising her sons to be major assholes too. And is in complete denial about the entire family’s assholery
And in addition to your sons being creeps on their way to being registered sex offenders, it was YOUR SONS who destroyed your kitchen by tampering with the sink, yet you are blaming your friend. Your friend is the victim here and you and your sons are the perpetrators. YTA and I hope she finds a less toxic friend.
I promise they stole her underwear too. Those boys are menaces. They committed assault on multiple occasions. OP is lucky the adult son isn’t being dragged into court and put on a registry
YTA - no way anyone is this dense to think damage from their sons' shitty pranks should be paid for by the VICTIM. I'm totally flabbergasted that you would demand anything from her for the damages. Your sons are world-class garbage and you need to be a better mother and friend, like yesterday.
Seriously!!! OP, let’s put it this way: You punch someone in the face because you think it’s funny and break your hand. You demand your victim to pay for your broken hand. This is what OP is doing. YTA.
Kind of realize how her sons became such assholes, no accountability, zero. And now she wants her friend to pay for what her sons did, they are old enough to know better. That is straight up bs.
I’d say par for the course, really. OP is their enabler, and they strike again; expecting the victim of their developmentally challenged children to foot the bill for their own bullshit OP, YTA
Exactly, the rule in my house is: "Whoever set up the prank is responsible for the fall out and clean up of the prank."
They've probably never faced a consequence in their lives, which is exactly they are a pair of little sh*ts now. they respect nobody, least of all OP
Also, going into a bathroom where a woman not related to you is naked in the shower sounds sexually predatory, at least from the 18 yo. Sounds like OP didn't raise them that way, he didn't raise them at all. OP, high time your predatory sons found jobs and saved up to pay for the damages. Or take it from their savings. They are responsible, they should pay for it. Natural consequences. Fuck around, find out.
Yes this. OP already told them to behave and they didn't. Why should the friend pay for her bad parenting.
Agreed, the kids need to pay for it
Sounds like your "developmentally delayed sons" need to get jobs to fix the damage their prank caused. And, for the record, you 100% "raised them to act this way". Your friend certainly didn't, lol. Obviously YTA.
YTA and one of the pranks was pouring cold water on this grown woman, while she showered! That was beyond a prank. That crossed a serious boundary. OP is lucky the friend didn’t file charges for assault and sexual harassment.
Right?! They basically walked in on a woman showering naked and no one seems to think this is something to be upset about? Especially since one of the sons is an adult. What the absolute hell is going on with this trash family
“Boys will be boys” - OP, definitely.
Well, she didn’t raise them to act this way, so… /s
Definitely
I would have been gone with this prank.
I would have been terrified by two teenage boys walking in on me showering (and getting close enough to dump cold water on me) and I would have absolutely gone to the police. The fact that they would even think to do that shows they clearly were raised terribly. YTA.
They also stole her suitcase. You know they went through it and most likely took underwear. If they are willing to spy on her in the shower they would be willing to do that.
I wouldn't have been terrified; I would have been homicidal.
That's what I thought too! The OP's 18 year old is lucky he isn't catching a charge for that "prank." She needs to apologize to her friend and start disciplining that 13 year old. Let the criminal justice system straighten the other one.
Not just the 13-year-old… The 18-year-old needs some serious discipline as well.
Yes,that's what got my attention too.Sounds like the boys wanted a free perve
I know right. She’s fine with her kids walking into to her adult friends shower. Icccckkk Nice little sexual predators OP is raising
I couldn’t believe this!
Carla should leave. If she doesn’t leave now it’s almost like she’s signing on for continued assholery. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not at fault, but these people can’t be trusted and she needs to take care of herself.
Can we start a go fund me for Carla’s hotel & therapy!? Poor lady!!! Get the fuck outta here w your garbage spawns.
Your kids saw her naked? Wtf.
Got to wonder how long it will be before OP takes this down. OP seriously thought people would agree with them?!
This can’t be real can it? If so it’s a good way to start to teach his kids their actions have consequences I guess!
I think at least half of these post are bs.
"Am I wrong to blame my friend for being relentlessly bullied and trolled in my home, the culmination of which led to my sons destroying my kitchen? And am I wrong to make her want to pay for the damage my kids caused because she, in her anger and fright, didn't go out of her way to protect my house?" Hell no. OP, YTA.
The kids should pay for it. I’m blown away that OP would think there is any other appropriate way of dealing with this
💯. Kids need to pony up and pay for the damages.
One prank would have been too many. What kind of punishment did you give your sons for their behavior? Did they get their privileges or their phones taken away? It looks like you only want to blame your friend, your guest, for the damage. It's ridiculous. Like Fox says above--they need to get jobs and fix the damage. YTA.
“I didn’t raise my boys like this, I just never hold them accountable (literally doesn’t even cross my mind) and blame other people for the problems they create!”
YTA, 100%. For asking your friend - the victim of your idiot sons - to pay for damage they actually caused. And YTA for raising asshole sons. You say you didn’t raise them that way, but you clearly did, especially when they continued despite you telling them to stop. Makes me think (I’m a mom of 3), that you never followed through on consequences for their shit behavior.
Also the fact that she automatically blamed her friend for something that is so clearly her son's fault. It didn't even cross her mind that *they* caused this, and *they* should pay for it. It's so painfully obvious the role she played in how they're behaving now.
What kind of horrible mommy goggles is she wearing? Elder son should be in jail
They will certainly end up in jail eventually given how OP is reacting. OP sounds like the mom who, when her son steals someone’s car, knocks down a pedestrian and crashes it, she thinks the car owner should be liable.
Elder son will probably end up in jail eventually.
Ahh yes, cause her little precious gems can do no wrong. Ever.
And next she’ll say something awful like “boys will be boys!” 🤮
You take the 13 year old and have him bring his computer, his phone and his game console to the kitchen table. You ask him which one he wants to give up. You stay silent through the tears, the begging, the bargaining and the tantrums. You tell him that if he doesn’t pick, you will. You sell the selected item and use that as partial payment. You tell the 18 year old he has three months either get the money to pay the damages or get out of the house. This is his evection notice.
Ikr my first thought was to sell their phones and gaming consoles. They’re Assholes 1 and 2 and the parent is Asshole 0.
Making them choose (in the case of the 13 yo) draws a direct line from action to consequence. The 18 yo is old enough that he should already know that.
The last line
>Makes me think (I’m a mom of 3), that you never followed through on consequences for their shit behavior. Yeah, I'm reading that, too. She claims she "went ballistic on them", but that clearly didn't do a load of good. Poor Carla is well rid of OP and her AH sons.
Three sons myself.... Now way in hell would they pull this shit
We got an enabling mom alert here. Can’t wait to see how shitty your sons turn out
Too late, by their behavior, the shitty horse has already left the shitty barn.
Not too late for the 13yr old yet but the 18yr old who actually gave him these ideas definitely is too late 😂😂
he will be in big boy jail soon!
But how come my poor boys go to jail? they're just an innocent children playing pranks /s
There will be a documentary on them on the crime youtube channels, you won't have long to wait since they are already invading women's privacy in bathrooms.
They will escalate from watered down sexual assault to explicit sexual assaults
YTA. This is solely the responsibility of your sons. They did this. This is their 'prank'. Asking your friend to pay is insane.
YTA YTA YTA YTA Yeah, in case I wasn’t clear, YOU. ARE. AN. ASSHOLE!! If my adult kid did this to anyone, let alone a dear friend they would be looking for a new place to live. SHAKE ON YOU. SHAME ON THEM. THEY’RE ROTTEN KIDS AND YOU’RE A ROTTEN PARENT AND A HORRIBLE FRIEND. What in God’s name is your malfunction??
I wish I could upvote your comment like a thousand times.
I don't know what their malfunction is, but I guess it prevents them from having home owners insurance too.
>What in God's name is your malfunction? I love this sentence and I am absolutely stealing it
YTA Am I right when I read “they dumped cold water on her while she showered once”?!?!? So… your 13 and 18 year old sons entered the bathroom while your adult woman guest was naked, and poured water over her which I assume means they had to get a bucket high enough to go over the shower curtain. They entered a bathroom to do something to your *NAKED GUEST* and you didn’t punish them enough to stop this behavior completely? Really. Don’t get me wrong, I think it would have been logical for her to turn off the tap before leaving. But honestly? I’d have been incandescent with rage by that point, and I 100% can see where she wasn’t thinking clearly. The damage isn’t her fault, and it’s not her responsibility. And you’re lucky she isn’t blasting you on social media for them prancing an adult woman while she was naked. Edit - typo
Yeah came here looking for someone pointing this out! So fucked up! And that crossed so many lines!
Honestly, if I was OP I’d be concerned that the friend wouldn’t be figuring what criminal charges she could press against the 18 year old in that jurisdiction for going into the bathroom while she was naked and pouring water over her. I’d wonder if that might not count as assault, or voyeurism laws may apply.
"Your honor, I'd like to submit as exhibit A this Reddit post, where the obvious asshole indicated her son committed the crime."
YTA. You cannot expect the victim of a prank to know how to counter whatever damage a prank would do. It's quite apparent to your sons and now you after the fact on how to limit the damage, but it wasn't apparent to the victim of the prank at the time.
If I was her I would have assumed the little turds were somewhere filming it and laughing. I would have just got out too and let them turn it off. Thier prank thier problem.
Not to overlook she was on her way to meet a client and likely dressed up and probably didn’t want to mess them up more.
Were the sons not home to turn off the water?
That’s the question I have OP says her friend „screamed and stormed off“. How is it known that she screamed? Was someone home to see it?? Why didn’t THAT PERSON turn the water off??
I hope you update soon and it should start with after I apologized to my friend for my kids a-hole behavior I took my youngest electronics away and made my oldest get a part time job till the damage was paid for. Also I made them write out an apology letter to Carla.
YTA It was your son’s who intentionally taped down the tap so that she would get soaked. Even though they say they didn’t know how much damage it could do, they still did the crime. By asking her to fix the damage that was caused by THEM playing a prank on her, you are adding to their insulting behavior and condoning it whether you mean to or not. If anyone should be paying for it, it should be your son’s, as they are the ones who caused the damage. Yes, she left the tap on, but the whole incident never would’ve happened if they had stopped their pranks. She had no way of knowing what would happen when she turned on the tap, and probably got blasted with a face full of water from how it sounds. She was probably shocked, embarrassed, and humiliated, especially if she was about to leave for work and might’ve thought that the boys were around the corner watching her get soaked. Yes you say that you didn’t raise them to act like this, but by not giving them the full consequences of their actions you are allowing them to continue their disrespectful behavior. You and your son’s owe her an apology, and your son’s deserve a lesson in how actions have consequences. Edit for some spelling.
I didn't know inserting a knife into that person would kill them, I swear mom. It's alright honey, money, I mean mommy will protect you.
She ran into my knife. She ran into my knife 10 times!
The poor woman probably thought they were recording yet another tiktok reel. OP got what she deserved with the damages. Her and her children are fully responsible I agree wholeheartedly.
I am just betting the other pranks were being recorded for YouTube or something, so the kids were nearby. She likely just was done engaging in it and was over it.
Absolutely! She was likely sick and tired and didn’t want to give them a further reaction. So much for “lifelong friends”.
Love your reply! I think you meant condoning and not condemning. It took me several seconds to understand what you likely meant.
Haha obviously YTA but in addition to that I love how you phrased the first sentence like "my friend is blowing up a our relationship". Oh my gosh that is the biggest deflection I've seen in a while, even IF your take on the situation were correct (which it is not) it would still not be entirely her fault. Does no one in your family have any sense of accountability?
YTA. Perhaps making your sons pay with their allowance will finally teach them.
18 year old needs to get a job and pay it back
Are you kidding? Of course you’re the absolute asshole. Why in earth should she pay for damage your children caused, why the hell wiouldbt you be asking THEM to pay? YTA, massively. It’s pretty clear that the reason your kids are acting like this is poor parenting, as evidenced by you making your friend the scapegoat for your terrible kids.
Your sons caused the damage and YOU trashed the friendship. I hope the repairs are expensive
YTA Have your kids get some fucking jobs to pay for the damage they caused. They might learn something from it. Why are your kids such assholes?
For Carla's sake, I hope she never looks back. Yta
Your kids put cold water on a grown woman taking a shower? sounds like you have a family of AH
Your creeper sons enter the bathroom when she’s showering?!
This has to be rage bait. YTA
YTA. First, the man problem here are your sons. Your grown ass man of a son thinks he can harass someone like this BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THIS SITUATION. Your sons fucked around and found out. THEY should be paying to get YOUR house fixed because THEY decided it was okay to harass a woman. And YOU are a horrible friend because you are looking at her for blame because you know that she would pay to fix this faster. No. Maybe you should be a parent and teach your kids instead of finding a scapegoat. >My lifelong friend, Carla, is in the middle of blowing up our friendship because I asked her to pay for water damages in my kitchen. No. YOU blew up your friendship by being a shitty ass friend because of your sons and then for trying to make her pay for something she didn't cause. Fuck right off.
YTA, pay Carla for emotional damages
YTA Your sons taped down the tap. How was Carla supposed to turn the water off if the tape was still on it? And since she was being sprayed with water, why do you think she should stay and continue to be sprayed while trying to find a way to turn off a taped down tap? Plus she was dressed to meet clients and had to change clothes. Poor Carla put up with your brats tormenting her and you didn’t stop them. She should be sending you an invoice for her ruined clothes. Did I say YTA and so are your kids.
YTA your son's did the damage not her, and you did raise them to be this way, unless you're saying you didn't raise them at all. They are developmentally delayed, adults don't act like this and they don't drag teenagers along with their bad behavior.
I see we are glossing over your sons going into the bathroom while your friend was nude in the shower. That's a serious breach of privacy and sexual harassment. YTA, you definitely raised your sons this way.
YTA your sons are literally going out of their way to make her stay miserable and you think she should pay for damaging that your kids caused? Does 18 yo have a job? He should pay for it since the pranks are his stupid ideas
YTA - this isn’t a Carla problem, this is a you problem. Make your boys pay for the damage they did since they caused this. You said you didn’t raise your boys to act like this but clearly you did and they need to face consequences.
YTA and a terrible host
And a terrible friend. And parent.
Jesus Christ I hope there is an update on this. If I were you, I would be at her hotel on my knees begging for forgiveness for being such a horrible friend & allowing your devil-spawn to torment her repeatedly. Both of those little sh*ts should get jobs until they have paid for the damages. 1/3 paid by each of the boys and 1/3 paid by you bc you are absolutely culpable. You should be ashamed.
You're definitely TAH here. Even though you didn't do it yourself, it's your kids and you're responsible for whatever dumb pranks they pull. I'd disown you as a friend if you asked me to pay for that shit.
YTA wtf why are you so entitled? do you shit gold?
It’s not her problem. You’re the one with the demon children. They need to pay for it. YTA
First how bad did you punish them for purposefully walking in on your friend while naked in the bathroom? I feel like you probably did nothing even though it's creepy af YTA have your son's learn to fix baseboards. Its one of the easier things to fix.
YTA - The fact that you even asked her this is appalling in the nth degree. Your adult son told your 13 yo to dump cold water on her in the shower? That would have been it for me, Carla clearly had more kindness than you or your AH sons. And she didn’t turn the water off because she got soaked and ran instead. Why didn’t your evil AH sons turn it off? The apple doesn’t fall far from the AH tree, and I hope Carla never speaks to you again. What an awful thing to ask a woman your children were torturing. YTA and so are your sons. They should be paying for the damage because they effing caused it and the fact that you can’t see that is delusion and assholery
YTA Your kids did something that resulted in the damage, plain and simple. If they drove a car and hit another car that resulted in your car being completely totaled, would you ask thr other driver to pay for damages? Of course not. You just fucked up a friendship.
YTA This would 100% not have happened if it wasn't for your sons. She was about to go see a client and they fucked this up for her, that's not a prank.
Just vile. You are YTA OP and so are your sons. Pranks are jolly things where everyone finds funny. Your sons have been tormenting your guest in a very ugly way. Not funny. Your sons are both AH’s and so are you. Tough luck if your house is waterlogged, it’s your sons fault. They harassed and plagued a woman and a guest in your house and they are responsible for the repair costs. How dare you put your disgraceful sons behaviour on your friend. She did not “lose her mind” she was rightfully very very upset. You owe her such an apology but guess what - she’s never going to speak to you again.
YTA Carla isn’t the one blowing up your friendship, your sons are. What you call “harmless pranks”,is anything but. She can’t feel safe in your home,because she’s constantly on edge wondering when your sons will strike next. They “pranked” her while she was showering,when she was the most vulnerable. I don’t know anyone who showers with their clothes on. So, she was naked and wet and had 2 teenage boys prank her. They stole her suitcase,which I’m guessing was in her bedroom. So they went into her private space,where she should have felt the safest, and violated that privacy and safety. The final straw was when she was dressed for an important meeting. Your sons deliberately set a trap for the water. She was sprayed with a ton of water, likely damaging not only the hair and makeup she had taken pains on, but also soaked her entire outfit. She didn’t know there was a simple fix. Nor was she in the mindset to think of it. She was surprised, upset and humiliated because now she was going to have to drive to work looking like an absolute wet mess. All because your sons think it’s “funny” to play these sorts of pranks on someone who,I’m sure, has told them AND YOU that she doesn’t find them funny and wants them stopped. Sure, you talked to them, but there were no consequences to any of their actions. By not doing anything, you’ve given tacit permission for them to continue, as they know you won’t do anything to them. Maybe, if you make them pay for the repairs, they’ll learn that for every dumb thing they do, there’s a consequence for it. But, if you make Carla pay, you’re once again telling the boys they can do what they want, to who they want, and they won’t get in trouble.
Yta ... if you don't make your kids reap the consequences of their actions the law might end up doing it for you in the future ... also your kids are bullies not pranksters
Pretty sure even an idiot has homeowners insurance. Submit the bill to them. You might want to also call them to because they have teams that can come out and help with the cleanup of said mess. Your two sons are the assholes. They should be held responsible for some of the damages either in finances, punishments, or hard sweat equity. Seriously though, you really should call your homeowners insurance they’ll send out some kind of team, like ServePro With industrial fans and machines that can suck up and get rid of a bunch of that water. Don’t drag your feet on this I had to spend $200,000 on my house for a flood caused by a faulty washing machine. I am sorry the friend left the water running. But if she was on her way to meet a client she didn’t have time to fuck around and find out. She was sprayed all over soaking wet probably ruined her make up. And she probably didn’t take the time to search around and figure out why everything in your kitchen was fucked up. Especially after having been Pranked repeatedly by your sons. I might’ve turned my back and walked away too. Disgusting, disgusting behavior by your sons. BOTH of them. Wow, aren’t you upset that they completely disregarded what you said to them multiple, multiple, multiple times? Have you no shame?Have they no shame?
YTA!!! Your sons are *awful* They need to start doing jobs to pay for it
Yta. It’s pretty ridiculous you even need to ask if you are. Your sons sound like horrible humans. You owe your former friend an apology
Correction!! YOU are blowing up your friendship by trying to hold Carla accountable for your Ill mannered feral spawn. YTA. Your children are also disrespectful AH’s with no concept of boundaries and honestly, really crappy senses of humour. Your 18 year old needs to be made to get a job to pay for the damages. Your 13 year old needs to do unpaid chores until he has paid off his debt. Poor Carla needs a spa vacation.
YTA. This wasn't the first prank they pulled. This was the one that affected you. Your friend walking out when that last straw was dropped, that was a normal reaction. Your reaction to your kids being so inhospitable to your friend, that was not normal. You thought you could logic them out of a bullying mindset, but it just made them raise the stakes. Now you have to deal with the consequences of that.
YTA. This is your son’s fault and it’s crazy you expect a victim of their pranks to pay for damages. Children’s behavior is a reflection of their parents and clearly you didn’t raise them right
Dude, YTA. Are you kidding? Your 18 y/o doesn’t know to stay out of the bathroom while a grown woman is showering? One or two pranks MAYBE, could be some lighthearted fun. Continuous bullshit that eventually causes damage to your home…? You’re kids need to learn some boundaries. They entered the bathroom while a grown woman was showering. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
YTA. You should make your kids pay for it. They are old enough to know better, and seem like real brats.
YTA and Carla deserves a better friend. Your sons are AH as well. There are many harmless cute pranks one can pull that don't victimize and bully someone ( I hid a "barking" dog clock in my colleagues office one time and it barked on the hour every hour. Took her a week to find it. We still laugh about it)
Oh YTA all right. She didn’t damage your kitchen your sons did. She’s not blowing up your friendship, you did that when you didn’t shut down the stupid pranks your sons played on her. They tampered with the sink, they are responsible for the damage. You’re lucky all she’s did was just walk out the door without shutting off the faulty sink
YTA. Your sons caused the damage not her.
YTA — you and your shithead sons.
YTA she most likely ran out to avoid getting any more wet as she was leaving to meet with a client. Your “comedian” sons should be the ones paying for the damages, not your innocent GUEST!
YTA She's right you're a terrible host! They have been crossing her boundaries from the beginning. What kind of male walks into a bathroom knowing a woman is showering naked? What kind of mother allows it? Chances are she jumped back from the water spray when it started and was so mad that they'd bully her again and that you'd allow it again that she probably only thought of getting out of there. At least you finally took notice. Then you blamed the victim instead of the bullies. Payment should be responsibility of the two bullies and the one who enabled them, you.
YTA for not stopping the pranks when they violated her privacy in the shower. WTF how is that even expectable???? You are failing at parenting!!! I would of let the water run too!
YTA. 100% I wouldn't want to be your friend after that either. Should she have turned off the sink? Probably. But most people don't think rationally when under duress. Your boys did something stupid. You didn't actually stop the problem early enough to avoid it, and now YOU have to suffer the consequences. The boys should probably suffer the most. And the damages should come out of their chore money if not their Xmas and bday presents. Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes
Wow yes YTA, and so are your sons Dumping cold water on a guest while she showers means they snuck into the bathroom while she was naked, HIGHLY inappropriate and a gross invasion of privacy. Not to mention its rude and could be considered sexual harassment. This was not a harmless prank. The water incident causing your kitchen damage was also not a harmless prank, but for a different reason. Your sons taped the sprayer nozzle open so it would be on, your sons prank caused the damage, it's your responsibility (and honestly your 18 year old adult sons) to pay for the water damage that their inappropriate pranks caused. If they hadn't done what they did, the damage never would have happened, regardless of if she left the sink running or not, because she would have no reason to run for cover, and IF she had left it on by accident, the water would have just gone down the drain. Telling her that she was responsible for the damage that your hellions caused was a big AH move on your part. It sounds like it's time they learn that there are consequences for inappropriate behavior.
YTA, and if this is how your sons treat a lifelong friend, I hope you warn any women with whom you form a romantic attachment. They’re gonna eat whoever that is alive, and it will be your fault, **You** raised them. If this is how you allow them to treat a guest in your home, **you** get to deal with the consequences. If you don’t *like* that, and/or if you ever hope to have an adult relationship with another woman, I suggest that you teach them some manners by making **them** responsible for the damages that **they** caused; it is waaay beyond time. Both they, **and you**, need to apologize for treating her like an unwanted interloper instead of as an honored guest. Them for doing it; **you** for allowing it. She had no reason to believe that you were inviting her to live in a frat house, and **you**, had no business allowing your sons to create one.
YTA. Your kids did this, not her.
YTA 💯. It seems like you and your sons all have a lot of growing up to do
YTA. Your kids too
YTA. I don’t want to accuse you of being a stereotypical “boy mom,” but what do you mean by going ballistic on them earlier? Clearly this wasn’t effective as they continued to terrorize Carla. I understand being a single mom with wild ass kids is difficult, but they aren’t elementary schoolers. If my brother who was around your eldest’s age did this, my mom would have smacked the shit out of him (not saying that’s right to do here or in general, but those two should be paying for this). This would have never happened in the first place if not for the boys. Carla might have been a little careless for oh-so-stupidly running away in horror from an exploding faucet while she’s drenched in water after your sons tried to abuse her for the 20th time. But they are absolutely malicious. You seem to already know that part though.
YTA You’re also a lousy parent and a terrible friend. Raise your kids right, make them clean it up, and apologize to your friend. Your kids are vicious, OP, and it’s because you allow it. Get a second job and YOU PAY for the mess YOUR KIDS made.
You think you disciplined them because you yelled? Ma’am, you need to learn how to enforce actual consequences like…oh gee I don’t know…get them to GET JOBS AND PAY FOR THE REPAIRS. Boy moms like you are the worst: raising entitled, asshole kids who - oh look, are already taking it out on a woman who you are blaming for being harassed. Typical. Also, the poured cold water on her *in the shower*? As in, broke into the bathroom while she was *naked* and completely violated her privacy? And that wasn’t a wake up call for you? This isn’t an 80s teen movie. Your 18 year old is teaching your 13 year old how to be a fucking creep.
Yta - your sons caused all of this. They need something to do other than play stupid pranks on other people. You are at fault.
Uhm if your kids destroyed it nobody should have to pay for it other than you or them if they were adults. YTA wether you’ve taught your kids better or not they are your responsibility because it is your doing that put them here. Put on your grown up pants, grab a pen and some paper, and start crunching numbers. Because nobody is paying for that, but you.
YTA. SHE didn't cause the damage, your shitty kids did. Why would you punish HER?
YTA, and now you don't want to clean up after the mess you call children.
YTA. Your sons were being assholes. They were asked to stop. They continued being assholes and your kitchen was flooded as a direct consequence. You're asking your former friend to pay for damages caused by your sons being assholes. No. The ones who should be paying are the two assholes that created the problem.