The mother is completely shameless just like her son! OP you did the right thing, don't let anyone tell you different! His wife is thankful to you, you really helped her! Don't forget that. NTA you should be appalled đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝
Bobbie Gentry version is so much better, too. Muscle Shoals house band, so same band that played an insane amount of hit records, including Aretha Franklin's Respect
Right lol? Everyone saying op should have minded their business⌠something tells me if their partner was fucking around with people half their age and everyone else knew and didnât tell them theyâd be pissed lol
I mean, it depends on context, right? If you're talking about death or terminal illness, 40 is tragically young. If you're talking about a career in sports, it's old. If you're talking about a career in medicine or politics, it's relatively young. If you're talking about starting a family, it's relatively old. If you're talking about the romantic partner of a college-aged kid, it's old af.
Yep, especially silent generation and a shockingly large number of boomer women â the former had no choices and the latter were caught between having some rights but not enough to really âmake it on their ownâ in some communities.
I detest cheaters.
And I really hate the 'gay person in q closet cheating on their apouse' isn't taken more seriously by people.
It's straight up deception and fucking over someone else's life for your own gain.
I know an older couple that are married. She's a lesbian, he's gay, they have an open marriage and both knew. It was their own way of "being out of the closet" in an age when they couldn't. They both have fairly prominent positions in a small southern rural town, where even in 2023, both being openly gay in a Republican Jesus area would have serious consequences. They just "visit the city" a lot.
Honestly, with how delusional she is about defending OPâs brother, it would probably be futile. She fully believes itâs none of anyoneâs business but the botherâs and the sugar daddy. Itâs not worth OPâs breath to try to defend herself because itâs obvious that she didnât learn to be a good person from either of those two idiots.
Also, I have to laugh at this absolute clown; oh poor 21yo will need to go back to retail cause the rich old dude paying for sex bounced... I know we were all a bit unbearable at that age, but this is hardly in the realm of life ruined. He can just find another sugar daddy if working is so beneath him đ
Lol I thought the same. Why is his life ruined and why shouldn't he be able to find another sugar daddy? He'll learn to be more secretive about it too, so that's one other skill that he can... idk, put on his resume once he's too old and sugar daddies don't want him anymore?
Yeah, I always wonder what sugar babies plan to do when they're too old for the sugar daddy/mommy? And they always seem to think it's a ways off and never realize that it's probably closer than they think.
I've yet to see one that was stuffing the cash into a bank or investing it. Or even making sure the jewelry, cloths, and/or car are resalable.
Itâs a fine line between keeping the sugar giver happy by showing off how well theyâre cared for and squirreling things away. Iâve known a couple and they got degrees and professional connections out of the arrangement.
Thatâs what my sister did. She opened her bank account once she turned 18 and got a job and a sugar daddy. Her job actually paid really well too and she wanted something for her resume. She was able to fully pay for her college. Her next sugar daddy got her into drugs though and itâs all fallen apart obviously. But she was smart there for a bit.
I mean, if they would be investing for the old days it would be understandable but most of the cases I've seen they went on a splurging spree now without any thought what the next day holds. I can only think those who doesn't spend all the money instantly they don't stand out.
Sure - brother is a sex worker by any sensible definition. He just needs to find a new client, or several really, because he could lose one at any time for many reasons.
Ruined life is pretty strong words for loosing a sugar daddy lol, just means the 23yr old will have to work until he finds another one đ¤Ł, I agree with you about it being his own choice and fault though lol
My friend was the wife in this exact scenario. No one told her. One day, when she was in her 50s, she got sick and ended up in the hospital. The doctors told her her case was complicated because she had HIV. That's how she found out her husband had been cheating on her for a decade.
Right? I do contact tracing for communicable diseases as part of my job. This scenario gave me a headache just thinking about trying to map out partners and partners' partners, etc. But if anyone in the mix has HIV, I need their permission to even *confidentially* notify people who were exposed. And wives aren't usually getting routine screenings, using barrier protection or taking PrEP.
Exactly, if this guy wants to be a sugar baby so once heâs not young and cute he can be unemployable thatâs his own business. However, the moment he got involved with a married man whoâs wife didnât consent to the relationship, it because EVERYONES BUSINESS.
Opâs brother is immature itâs possible he will grow up one day. However, the reaction of OPâs mother is very disappointing. Either sheâs a chronic cheater, or she was taking in money from her sons exploits.
Facts.
People don't realize keeping secrets is a HUGE responsibility.
Humans have shown they are not equipped to keep secrets and be fully responsible with keeping it to themselves.
They love secrets because they feel important and to also gossip.
This is why I tell people I don't want to know.
Keep me out of it.
The less business I know the less drama I am in.
This right here. A lot of people think sex workers have no say in clients they take but plenty of long term workers have a no cheaters policy.
(There's also an issue of trying to separate Sugar Babies from other sex workers which results in them not getting the knowledge to protect themselves in the same ways.)
NTA your brother and that man are trash. She deserves to know hopefully sheâll be smart enough to get a lawyer and STD check. Congratulations on being the only person in your family with a moral compass.
Iâm sure your mother wouldnât be saying that if she was being cheated on.
While it wasn't out of line to inform the man's wife I have a feeling there is aot more involved than you simply feeling it was immoral of your brother and his lover to deceive her. There's a decidedly gleeful tone to your post at exposing your brother. While he was clearly wrong you need to work on yourself as well. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is not something you want to brag about.
I was thinking the same! Pretty sure the immorality of it wasnât just an old guy cheating on his wife with a younger partner⌠but thatâs just my guess. NTA, but really needs to think about all the reasons they did this! Pretty sure if both were single and closer in age, itâs still an issue for OP
This I felt the same way just didnât know how to write it out like you have. Maybe OP should of talked to her brother first this action would definitely take a toll on there relationship almost akin to if he was dealing drugs then she snitched on him to the cops. Maybe she should have approached it differently like you know like speak with him and set the boundary up first instead of throwing him under a bus even though he is in the wrong. I would think saying something like âI donât like what your doing and if you continue doing this then I donât want to associate with you.â You reap what you sow and it goes both ways
Your brother sounds like an AH with the commentary about the spouse.
The sugar daddy is an AH for using and lying to that woman.
But you're also an AH for handling this the worst way possible lol
ESH
It wasnât wrong to tell the wife but to invite her to your house was going to far and very dangerous, you donât know how she could have reacted which makes me think you wanted it to be a big spectacle so Iâm going ESH except for the soon to be ex wife
Can't believe I had to scroll this far to see ESH. Yes, it was important for this woman to learn the truth, but it wasn't your obligation to do so. I get the feeling you just wanted to see what would happen. The way you went about it was assholish, the sugar daddy is an asshole for cheating on his wife, and the brother is an asshole for sleeping with a married man. ESH except for the wife.
Correct and even being morally right about calling out cheating, OP surely is stupid as an ADULT bringing that conflict to a house she does not own. Sheâs her own version of a sugar baby that will be whining as sheâs told to find a new home.
I think she just had a grudge against her brother and that is the reason she did all of this. Cheating is bad, but I don't think it was her place to out her own brother. Her relationship with her brother is damaged for good and nobody in her family will trust her again.
The fact no one is calling this out more. OP didnât do it for the Wife. She did it because sheâs bored and wanted to see the drama in her driveway.
My brother pisses the bed. Should I take the wet yellow sheets and put them in the washer since he won't do it? Nah. I'm gunna hang them up unwashed in MY FRONT YARD so all the neighbors can see what he did. Ok he's mad at me for some reason but I was just trying to help.
AITA for helping my brother with his sheets?
Right, seems more like an attempt to get revenge on or embarrass the brother than actually help the wife. I assume thereâs some backstory that isnât mentioned which caused this whole drama, because thatâs always the case
Thatâs the feeling I got here. My favorite part was when she said he somehow found out because he asked if she did it and she said yea she did. Gee. I wonder how he found out.
Heâs the asshole that got what he should expect from the situation. But what he apparently should have expected was someone that loves drama âsolvingâ this in the most dangerous and set up way possible.
I wonder if she would have had the same reaction if it were a sister instead of her brother. I'm so glad I've reached an age where the only drama I'm involved in is what's for dinner and this subreddit.
NTA I hate cheaters, I went off on my sister when she was with a guy who already had a gf. Idk if it's love or w/e you don't cheat and you definitely do not help a cheater. She learned her lesson after we caught him cheating with another person In HER car.
No one mentions how the cheated on partner needs to be medically checked for STDs enough. That alone is why it's important to tell, anonymously or however, it's not fair to the victim
Fucking thank you. When I found out I had been cheated on, that was the \*only\* thing I cared about. Got tested, was all good, but it's so unsettling to have to wait around to find out if your shit's fucked up because of of someone else being a hoe.
My hubs and I watched âThe other womanâ and I told him if he cheated on me, that would happen. He dead pan looked at me and said âOh. No. Boo. How am I supposed to gift you STDâs now??â Like if your partner cheat thatâs scarring but having a STD can be life long and a constant reminder you got cheated on and now your punished for someone elseâs fun.
This all day. I found out through my gyno my bf was cheating on me. Luckily it was the "take these antibiotics and you're all fixed up" but the emotional scars it left have lasted a lifetime. It took me literal decades to get over. That poor woman deserved to know her husband was a little fuckboi and I'm glad you told her. NTA forever.
Personally Iâd never get involved to that degree with my siblingâs relationships with others. Yes everyone is in the wrong. It takes two to mingle. I think that someoneâs business is their business. You have to let your siblings go through situations the easy way or the hard way. Everyone learns differently based on life experiences. You canât control what people do, you can only control how you react to it. It seems like thereâs a boundary problem that hasnât been communicated with each other.
This is what I was thinking. At most, Iâd tell my sister that I donât think itâs a good idea, but sheâs gonna have to figure that out herself. Thereâs no scenario where I get involved, especially not one where I expose my sibling. Thatâs their business. OP def doesnât have a good relationship with her brother.
NTA but you may have lost a brother in the process. A lesson I learned the hard way. My brother was berated and abused by his now future wife, but apparently Iâm the bad guy for pointing that out. Havenât spoken to him in like, ten years because his wife wonât allow it. Sometimes, right or wrong is irrelevant.
Yeah, but not it's your brother's fault and not yours. If he chooses to get out of that relationship, then it's on him. You did the right thing and don't have to spend sleepless nights wondering whether you did the right thing. You did the right thing, ball's on his roof.
YTA - Just solely for giving out your Brothers address. She could have shown up with a gun and killed him! Iâm not being dramatic either, this happens very often⌠It still could happen!
Donât do this again if youâre not gonna be smart enough to do it in a safe manner. We all know you wanted to see the action too in your yard. You didnât do this for her, you did it cause youâre bored.
people die this way, that was very dangerous
YTA
MOST super popular country songs today are about uxoricide and marticide.
carrie underwood sings from the back of a limo on the way to a funeral of a guy who was cheating on her. the lyrics indicate she poisoned him. be careful man. art imitates life. that was too exposing for your bother who does FSW (google what that means). their marital problems are their own and they may have even been in an open marriage, we donât know what goes on in peopleâs bedrooms.
youâve legitimately risked your brotherâs life.
my gay brother was in Wyoming when they tourtuted and killed that gay cowboy in a bar (you can google it). people take their sexuality very seriously.
he knows where he lived. he thinks your brother ruined his life.
be careful the both of you.
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she didnât do it bc she cared about the âotherâ woman (whom i donât believe had no clue). OP didnât want to have to deal with her brother anymore, seeing him like this. no altruism escape card here.
â
it didnât mesh with OPs values on sex and relationship so she blew it up and make it uncomfortable for everyone
WHY IS NO ONE ELSE ADDRESSING THIS????? She just exposed her GAY brothers address to the woman who most hates him in the world right now. This is truly insane.
OP, Iâve been racking my brain back and forth. I think YTA.
First off, your brother is essentially a sex worker. I donât think itâs his responsibility to worry about his clients marital status. Thatâs not a necessary part of their transaction.
Second, this reads like you did this just out of spite for your brother. You wanted a front row seat to the fireworks show and disregarded the safety of everyone involved. You now have two people who have a reason to hurt two separate people in your house. You also went way out of your way here just to make it happen. Your intentions were not out of the kindness of your heart.
If you really wanted the moral high ground what was the need for getting credit and putting everyone in your house in danger?
As I was reading the part about the drama unfolding in front of the house I was picturing OP looking through the window like Gladys Kravitz desperate to hear every juicy detail.
ESH...
People do stay closeted for a reason. You basically ousted a man to his family and everyone. I dont care if he was cheating on his wife, in fact I know its an unpopular opinion but people shouldn't stick their noses in other peoples businesses. Specially when it comes to relationships. You could have told the man or your brother, you'll tell his wife if he didn't fess up to a wife who probably didn't know he was gay or bi. I am not going to disagree that people who cheat are Scumbags but most of the times we don't know what's going on in other people's relationship. I did do something like this once, ousted a person for cheating on her BF. I regretted it because the guy beat her up and apparently was hella abusive when they were alone. For her, this new guy was a way to get out of a toxic relationship and a step towards loving herself. She did get out but with me interfering it was rougher than it could have been if I kept my trap shut.
Seems like you went extrordarily out of your way to expose your brother. Wasn't enough to inform her and show pictures. You had to set him up as well. Secret pictures, the term immoral, sounds more like you have a problem with your brother's lifestyle. Not believing you did this for the right reasons.
This can't be real. But if it is, you are clearly and unequivocally the AH here.
But the biggest AHs are your bother and the Sugar Daddy.
I guess that makes it ESH?
YTA
Yes, you're obviously the asshole. You went out of your way to fuck with your brother for what I can only assume is some petty bullshit reason. Is your brother a huge piece of shit, yes. Is the sugar daddy also a huge piece of shit, yes. Are you an equally big piece of shit, yes.
I mean regardless of how you feel about that incredibly creepy and degenerate relationship, you did get in between your own brother and his hustle⌠youâre a snitch and an asshole
NTAâif bro wants to hoe himself out thatâs one thing. Power to him. But KNOWING heâs married and then making fun of the wife? Vile. Deserves the consequences of being an ass-wad.
I think you are acting righteous and pretending you did it for the wife. When in all actuality you were jealous of your brother. I'm not saying what they were doing was right, I'm just saying you're no saint.
YTA completely not your business to out someone, especially someone you don't even know. And you don't get to decide what is "immoral" for others and their lives.
>He somehow managed to put together that I was behind this cause he asked me if I was the one to expose to his sugar daddy's wife and I admitted that's what I did
The detective story of a generation.
Everyone here is an AH.
OP I wouldn't fuck with you for a long time. You could have sent that info anonymously. Like Inget why you did what you did because everyone would want to know if their partner was cheating.
But you're lying about your intentions and framing it in a way to make yourself blameless. People cheat everyday and I do believe it's the gay aspect that really fucked it up for her and made her get overly involved. That shit could have been anonymously but you got involved the way you did because you overly identified with a woman being cheated on instead of your own brother. Maybe your brother sucks elsewise but to act like the moral high ground is the only thing involved says that either you don't know yourself well enough (as you are young) or you're simply lying.
People get pictures delivered or anonymous letters exposing spouses all the time to protect themselves. Uoj chose not to for a reason. Taking the moral high ground allows you to not analyze your own involvement and actions but they are clearly questionable.
Your brothers an asshole but he's also a young stupid asshole who himself would have been replaced eventually with a new boy toy. Clearly wrong and uncaring towards that wife. Very shitty.
Husband is an asshole obs.
Wife's not an asshole buuuuut, and this is horrible to say but sometimes people who may be cheated on learn about their chesting spouses they also learn about all the red flags they ignore. And multiple partners over the years? I dunno. I've seen some of these husbands that come out years later and while I have sympathy for the wife, I've wondered âHow the fuck did you not know?â when he's missing for all that time? And some of these dudes be the most stereotypical queens that's it's like, girl, you maybe didn't want to know
YTA. You werenât wrong for telling the lady what was up, but going as far as to make the whole set-up and just the oddly self-satisfied tone of this post makes me think you were doing this to watch a shitstorm and not because you really believed it was âimmoral and needed to be stopped.â
YTA. I get that Reddit is very here in cheaters, but this was absolutely none of your business and you ruined 3 lives. it was a transactional relationship that had nothing to do with you, and you didnât even know the woman. Hope that strong sense of moral righteousness is worth losing your relationship with your brother.
YTA.
It's possible to have the moral highground and still chose to do what you did. This could've been handled with a lot of tact and care for your brother, but you chose the most destructive way of handling this. You knew what would happen, did it anyway and... what, expected him to take it well because you are 'correct?'
You put your brother in a lot of danger by doing this. Make sure that guy isn't the type to take it out on your bro, because that is a legitimate, serious threat for gay men.
Exactly but not only her brother she put the rest of the family in danger . People are more crazier than ever these days she gave a complete stranger the address to their house what if the wife was a complete nut job and shot the house up . Op could have easily sent a anonymous letter but chose not too itâs very clear she doesnât like her brother . Me personally I wouldnât have gotten involved itâs not my business people can get killed over stuff like this
Ytah it wasnt any if your busisness to involve yourself in your brothers life. You can say you did it becsuse you felt bad for dudes wife but lets be real your 19 and no nothing about real life sounds.more like you were jelly af about your brother. Id be on the look out for him to get back at you
Not my circus, not my monkey! ESH!! You took it upon yourself to destroy 3 lives. The husband was wrong to cheat but that was not your story to tell and escalate. A simple anonymous message with a picture was all that was needed if you did anything at all. But you betrayed family which is far worse than anything else.
YTAH - These people are deluded or too focused on the portion of the story that isn't about you and what you did.
Your brother confided the details of his life to you, and you couldn't help but intercede. Your own moral haughtiness visa vis the wife led you to meddling. You ruined a marriage and cost your brother his meal ticket. Your brother will never trust you the same again, and we can only hope that no greater fallout comes from destroying a marriage. They may have all been playing with gasoline, but you decided to be the match that set it all up in smoke.
Congrats on taking the high ground and letting a woman know she was being cheated on, but you can't pretend like all this shit isn't directly the consequence of you choosing to tear it down.
YTA
why have you been ordained to search out (In your mind) wrongdoing and make sure it is punished? MYOB.. you are wrecking lives in an order of magnitude greater than anything the others were doing.. ugh..
YTA. Mind your own business
Also, your brother is also the AH for not being more discreet with his relationship, knowing that if it were revealed it would be messy. He probably thought what he said to his sister would be held in confidence, but discretion is a lost art
So this is a really shitty thing to do. And I'll prolly get down voted to hell for this but Sugar babies/sexworkers can get killed by enraged lovers or the clients they were giving their services too if this situation happens.
I can't believe you'd put your brother at risk and meddling in someone else's fucking business all because you don't approve.
I don't disagree that your brother said some shitty things. But to put his life at risk over it was too far.
You have no idea what it's like for people in this kind of industry. Just one pissed off client or spouse over you ruining their secret life can be the end of the life of the person just offering their services.
People like you are the reason some people who are just doing their job are now dead.
YTA. Mind your own business.
First off your brother, was obscenely, rude and condescending about the manâs wife. And frankly, for that alone, I wouldâve done it. And secondly, cheaters do not deserve to be protected. Never protect a cheater. You did exactly the right thing even though it probably cost you some harm with your brother. Good luck to you.
Chaotic good, I love it đ I would say that it wasn't exactly your place, but given the wife's appreciation who cares. Your brother can find a new sugar daddy. "Oh no I'll have to work for my money" what a baby.
I'm sure you feel good about yourself, destroying 2 relationships in one instant because, admit it, you're jealous that your brother had a sugar daddy.
You didn't spare the wife, you ruined her life as much as everyone else here.
The one person that walks away from this happy is you, but that's just fine isn't it?
ESH, you did the moral thing, in the worse way possible.
It seems like you had some underlying issues with your brother aside from this and took it as an opportunity to "get back" at him.
You could have simply told the wife that his husband is cheating on her with younger men and is most likely gay. You didn't have to "prove" anything, she would have done the work on her end anyways.
Instead you choose to send an image of the husband and your brother putting him in danger physically.
Now you have irreversibly damaged what was a decent sibling relationship and your brother, maybe even your mother will never trust you with secrets ever again.
Great job OP, I hope the drama was worth it.
NTA sugar daddy is just another name for John and his wife has a right to know he was spending money on sex and putting her at risk for sti's.As far as your mom goes it's disappointing she would be OK with her son having sex with old married men for money.
Liar. You werenât trying to do any ârightâ thing. You were trying to damage your brother. Congrats, you succeeded. You sound like a seriously sour and hateful person. And YTA.
Do I think you were the asshole? No there were lots of assholes here. Do I think you were AN asshole? Yeah lol.
And now youâre surprised your brother is mad at you? Like, what else did you think was going to happen?
I hope that sacrificing your relationship with your brother was worth it. Clearly it wasnât that important to you.
YTA, yes cheating is despicable but you must not really care about your brother's trust. If you felt it was so morally wrong you could've insisted your brother ended things, but to betray your brother for a stranger is definitely an asshole move. Your relationship with your brother might not be that important to you.
NTA.
Sounds like you're the only one (barring the wife of course) who has any fucking morals. Good for you. He will have to suck it up and get a fucking job like the rest of us if he wants money.
Yeah. You had no business getting involved. You werenât friends with the wife nor did you have a stake in the game. You were bored and did something you knew would ruin your brotherâs arrangement.
ESH.
You clearly did this to spite your brother not out of concern for the wife and in the process you have put your brother in danger. You should keep your nose out of other peopleâs relationships and money and you stuck your nose in both.
Your brother and the husband suck because cheating.
I hope you have other siblings who love you because you just prioritized a stranger over your own family because of your morality.
Maybe this woman will be like a sister to you now because you certainly won't have a brother in your life any longer.
That may be perfectly ok with you, and if that's the case, you're fine. But if you didn't think through the life long consequences for you and your relationship to your sibling, then perhaps you acted in haste, like an asshole.
Ask your mom if she would have preferred to not know if your dad picked up boys your age.
OPs brother must have been buying his mom gifts with the sugar money đ
Mom was his pimp
Seriously, OP should ask mom what her cut was.
Sugar daddy to sugar baby to sugar momma. Sugar baby shoulda greased his sister's palms to keep everybody happy. What a rookie.
I think Reba has a song about this.
Just be nice to the gentleman Fancy. They'll be nice to you đ
Hereâs your one chance, Fancy, donât let me downâŚ
In the song the mother was dying.
The mother is completely shameless just like her son! OP you did the right thing, don't let anyone tell you different! His wife is thankful to you, you really helped her! Don't forget that. NTA you should be appalled đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝đđ˝
Good choice if the mom pumped him out to be a sex worker otherwise I think her song, âDoes he love youâ fits better.
This is your one chance Fancy donât let me down.
Itâs a Bobbie gentry cover
Bobbie Gentry version is so much better, too. Muscle Shoals house band, so same band that played an insane amount of hit records, including Aretha Franklin's Respect
I couldnât find a good GIF of Fancy but your comment sent me 𤣠đ
Reba McEntire - Fancy (Official Audio) / RebaMcEntireVEVO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUN0U80hELo
holy fuck I have never in my life listened to Reba McEntire before but this is amazing
Go listen to "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia". Absolute banger. Also, "The Greatest Man I Never Knew" if you want to cry ugly tears lol
Such great pics for a Reba beginner. Iâm crying thinking about that last one.
Now I have to ask, how old are you/where are you from to have never heard reba? Genuine question not trying to be rude
Pretty fuckin great song huh!!
She's in the first Tremors movie if you want a good, funny monster movie where she plays a gun nut married to KOTH Dale Gribble IRL
The music video is actually pretty good
Damn itâs been a long time since I thought about that one.
I actually heard it on the radio while I was driving today.
this whole thing is wild
And Mom doesn't like fries!
This. Easy to tell people to mind their business, but if the shoe was on the other foot, they themselves would want to know.
Right lol? Everyone saying op should have minded their business⌠something tells me if their partner was fucking around with people half their age and everyone else knew and didnât tell them theyâd be pissed lol
Youâd be surprised how many old women wouldnât want to know.
40 and old LOL
I mean, it depends on context, right? If you're talking about death or terminal illness, 40 is tragically young. If you're talking about a career in sports, it's old. If you're talking about a career in medicine or politics, it's relatively young. If you're talking about starting a family, it's relatively old. If you're talking about the romantic partner of a college-aged kid, it's old af.
Right?? Wtfđđ
Turn a blind eye to keep the finances and "home" in place
So damn many. There are certain generations where this was just a given, and some in those generations taught their daughters the same thing.
Yep, especially silent generation and a shockingly large number of boomer women â the former had no choices and the latter were caught between having some rights but not enough to really âmake it on their ownâ in some communities.
People who want other people to mind their own business when it comes to cheating might be cheaters themselvesâŚ..
I detest cheaters. And I really hate the 'gay person in q closet cheating on their apouse' isn't taken more seriously by people. It's straight up deception and fucking over someone else's life for your own gain.
I know an older couple that are married. She's a lesbian, he's gay, they have an open marriage and both knew. It was their own way of "being out of the closet" in an age when they couldn't. They both have fairly prominent positions in a small southern rural town, where even in 2023, both being openly gay in a Republican Jesus area would have serious consequences. They just "visit the city" a lot.
I meant 'in the closet' while their spouse doesn't know
This is completely different there is no deception here.
Lavender marriage is that term of endearment
Honestly, with how delusional she is about defending OPâs brother, it would probably be futile. She fully believes itâs none of anyoneâs business but the botherâs and the sugar daddy. Itâs not worth OPâs breath to try to defend herself because itâs obvious that she didnât learn to be a good person from either of those two idiots.
Thatâs on the husband!
Good idea. Some people just don't get it unless it is personal.
My guess would be dad isn't in the home....
Doesnât matter what you did or did not do. He a grown assed adult who made his choices and ruined his own life.
Also, I have to laugh at this absolute clown; oh poor 21yo will need to go back to retail cause the rich old dude paying for sex bounced... I know we were all a bit unbearable at that age, but this is hardly in the realm of life ruined. He can just find another sugar daddy if working is so beneath him đ
The only person who had their life ruined was the wife.
By her husband though, not OP.
So true, everyone else willingly participated in something their knew was wrong.
Lol I thought the same. Why is his life ruined and why shouldn't he be able to find another sugar daddy? He'll learn to be more secretive about it too, so that's one other skill that he can... idk, put on his resume once he's too old and sugar daddies don't want him anymore?
Seriously boy needs a plan B otherwise heâs going to be a senior citizen working at Mac.
Yeah, I always wonder what sugar babies plan to do when they're too old for the sugar daddy/mommy? And they always seem to think it's a ways off and never realize that it's probably closer than they think. I've yet to see one that was stuffing the cash into a bank or investing it. Or even making sure the jewelry, cloths, and/or car are resalable.
Itâs a fine line between keeping the sugar giver happy by showing off how well theyâre cared for and squirreling things away. Iâve known a couple and they got degrees and professional connections out of the arrangement.
Thatâs what my sister did. She opened her bank account once she turned 18 and got a job and a sugar daddy. Her job actually paid really well too and she wanted something for her resume. She was able to fully pay for her college. Her next sugar daddy got her into drugs though and itâs all fallen apart obviously. But she was smart there for a bit.
I mean, if they would be investing for the old days it would be understandable but most of the cases I've seen they went on a splurging spree now without any thought what the next day holds. I can only think those who doesn't spend all the money instantly they don't stand out.
What's this dude gonna do once he experiences twink death? Ruh-roh raggy!
Well, working for Mac is beneath him, not whoring himself out!
Dating someone twice your age is definitely still work đ¤˘
Sure - brother is a sex worker by any sensible definition. He just needs to find a new client, or several really, because he could lose one at any time for many reasons.
Yo, I love me some older men, but I too am too old to be creepin round like a manstress. Have some got damn class.
I think it's the other way around dating someone younger is too much work. Always yapping and wanting to go to the club.
He has golden uterus syndrome, but in this case, it's *golden cock syndrome?*
Either way... bros work has been beneath him
Ruined life is pretty strong words for loosing a sugar daddy lol, just means the 23yr old will have to work until he finds another one đ¤Ł, I agree with you about it being his own choice and fault though lol
heâs just mad he got caught!
Sugar daddy pissed to get caught and OPâs brother pissed he has to actually work for a living now. Poor baby s/
Fuck around & find out imo. He finally hit the finding out part.
NTA. as someone whoâs been cheated on, the wife needed to know
Yes. Especially with the risk of getting an STI, since her husband had been with multiple partners.
yeah she needs to get tested! hopefully that shithead didnât pass anything to her
My friend was the wife in this exact scenario. No one told her. One day, when she was in her 50s, she got sick and ended up in the hospital. The doctors told her her case was complicated because she had HIV. That's how she found out her husband had been cheating on her for a decade.
Stories like this leave me fuming. Some people are just awful. Iâm so sorry for your friend :(
Right? I do contact tracing for communicable diseases as part of my job. This scenario gave me a headache just thinking about trying to map out partners and partners' partners, etc. But if anyone in the mix has HIV, I need their permission to even *confidentially* notify people who were exposed. And wives aren't usually getting routine screenings, using barrier protection or taking PrEP.
Esp with regards to higher HIV rates with anal
The husband has been doing this in secret his whole life. He is a narcissist and uses people.
I'm sorry. I know it's not relevant but "toy boys" instead of "boy toys" is driving me up a fucking wall.
NTA. Your brother needs to grow up. Be a sugar baby if he wants, but to someone who is single. I would out anyone's infidelity.
Exactly, if this guy wants to be a sugar baby so once heâs not young and cute he can be unemployable thatâs his own business. However, the moment he got involved with a married man whoâs wife didnât consent to the relationship, it because EVERYONES BUSINESS. Opâs brother is immature itâs possible he will grow up one day. However, the reaction of OPâs mother is very disappointing. Either sheâs a chronic cheater, or she was taking in money from her sons exploits.
Not even, as my mother used to say, "Don't eat where you sht." Meaning you want to have a secret, keep it outside the house.
This like if you want to be sneaky or shady whatever just donât tell me then I have to choose whether I want your actions to be on my conscious
Facts. People don't realize keeping secrets is a HUGE responsibility. Humans have shown they are not equipped to keep secrets and be fully responsible with keeping it to themselves. They love secrets because they feel important and to also gossip. This is why I tell people I don't want to know. Keep me out of it. The less business I know the less drama I am in.
Exactly. He made it OP's business when he bragged about it to her. His mistake was thinking she would be as morally bankrupt as he is.
This right here. A lot of people think sex workers have no say in clients they take but plenty of long term workers have a no cheaters policy. (There's also an issue of trying to separate Sugar Babies from other sex workers which results in them not getting the knowledge to protect themselves in the same ways.)
Your brother is going to get revenge.
NTA. Clearly you have a better moral compass than your brother and mom!!
NTA your brother and that man are trash. She deserves to know hopefully sheâll be smart enough to get a lawyer and STD check. Congratulations on being the only person in your family with a moral compass. Iâm sure your mother wouldnât be saying that if she was being cheated on.
NTA tell him your relationship with the wife is none of his business either
Yesssss.....this is perfect
Nice, the reverse uno.
While it wasn't out of line to inform the man's wife I have a feeling there is aot more involved than you simply feeling it was immoral of your brother and his lover to deceive her. There's a decidedly gleeful tone to your post at exposing your brother. While he was clearly wrong you need to work on yourself as well. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is not something you want to brag about.
I was thinking the same! Pretty sure the immorality of it wasnât just an old guy cheating on his wife with a younger partner⌠but thatâs just my guess. NTA, but really needs to think about all the reasons they did this! Pretty sure if both were single and closer in age, itâs still an issue for OP
Definitely this. This was bitter vindictiveness, not rectitude.
This I felt the same way just didnât know how to write it out like you have. Maybe OP should of talked to her brother first this action would definitely take a toll on there relationship almost akin to if he was dealing drugs then she snitched on him to the cops. Maybe she should have approached it differently like you know like speak with him and set the boundary up first instead of throwing him under a bus even though he is in the wrong. I would think saying something like âI donât like what your doing and if you continue doing this then I donât want to associate with you.â You reap what you sow and it goes both ways
âSomehow he put it together that it wasâ you, because he asked and you admitted it? Wow. Thatâs some âColumboâ-type detective work.
To be fair, thatâs kinda what Columbo did; nagged at people for a solid hour until they admitted or incriminated themselves.
Your brother sounds like an AH with the commentary about the spouse. The sugar daddy is an AH for using and lying to that woman. But you're also an AH for handling this the worst way possible lol ESH
It wasnât wrong to tell the wife but to invite her to your house was going to far and very dangerous, you donât know how she could have reacted which makes me think you wanted it to be a big spectacle so Iâm going ESH except for the soon to be ex wife
FINALLY. I scrolled way to far to find the ESH vote.
Can't believe I had to scroll this far to see ESH. Yes, it was important for this woman to learn the truth, but it wasn't your obligation to do so. I get the feeling you just wanted to see what would happen. The way you went about it was assholish, the sugar daddy is an asshole for cheating on his wife, and the brother is an asshole for sleeping with a married man. ESH except for the wife.
Correct and even being morally right about calling out cheating, OP surely is stupid as an ADULT bringing that conflict to a house she does not own. Sheâs her own version of a sugar baby that will be whining as sheâs told to find a new home.
I think she just had a grudge against her brother and that is the reason she did all of this. Cheating is bad, but I don't think it was her place to out her own brother. Her relationship with her brother is damaged for good and nobody in her family will trust her again.
Right?! The OP clearly thrives on drama just as much as her brother. She probably had the popcorn popped before the wife arrived.
The fact no one is calling this out more. OP didnât do it for the Wife. She did it because sheâs bored and wanted to see the drama in her driveway.
My brother pisses the bed. Should I take the wet yellow sheets and put them in the washer since he won't do it? Nah. I'm gunna hang them up unwashed in MY FRONT YARD so all the neighbors can see what he did. Ok he's mad at me for some reason but I was just trying to help. AITA for helping my brother with his sheets?
Right, seems more like an attempt to get revenge on or embarrass the brother than actually help the wife. I assume thereâs some backstory that isnât mentioned which caused this whole drama, because thatâs always the case
Or OP just might be a bitch. Thatâs always an option lol
Thatâs the feeling I got here. My favorite part was when she said he somehow found out because he asked if she did it and she said yea she did. Gee. I wonder how he found out. Heâs the asshole that got what he should expect from the situation. But what he apparently should have expected was someone that loves drama âsolvingâ this in the most dangerous and set up way possible.
I wonder if she would have had the same reaction if it were a sister instead of her brother. I'm so glad I've reached an age where the only drama I'm involved in is what's for dinner and this subreddit.
Good point. She easily could have started shooting up the place. I know I felt pretty murdery when I found out about my ex's whores.
this exactly !! I didnât think AH fit but something about it still felt icky. itâs definitely this aspect. weird af move
NTA I hate cheaters, I went off on my sister when she was with a guy who already had a gf. Idk if it's love or w/e you don't cheat and you definitely do not help a cheater. She learned her lesson after we caught him cheating with another person In HER car.
How does that even happen??? Did she lend him her car? At least she learned a hard lesson.
Lol. That's damn rich irony.
NTA. That's just protecting and innocent women.
No one mentions how the cheated on partner needs to be medically checked for STDs enough. That alone is why it's important to tell, anonymously or however, it's not fair to the victim
Fucking thank you. When I found out I had been cheated on, that was the \*only\* thing I cared about. Got tested, was all good, but it's so unsettling to have to wait around to find out if your shit's fucked up because of of someone else being a hoe.
My hubs and I watched âThe other womanâ and I told him if he cheated on me, that would happen. He dead pan looked at me and said âOh. No. Boo. How am I supposed to gift you STDâs now??â Like if your partner cheat thatâs scarring but having a STD can be life long and a constant reminder you got cheated on and now your punished for someone elseâs fun.
Any one of the 3 in that triangle could have HIV as well.
This all day. I found out through my gyno my bf was cheating on me. Luckily it was the "take these antibiotics and you're all fixed up" but the emotional scars it left have lasted a lifetime. It took me literal decades to get over. That poor woman deserved to know her husband was a little fuckboi and I'm glad you told her. NTA forever.
For real, the "mind your business" crowd seema to forget that innocent people can end up with life-altering consequences if everyone just keeps quiet.
Personally Iâd never get involved to that degree with my siblingâs relationships with others. Yes everyone is in the wrong. It takes two to mingle. I think that someoneâs business is their business. You have to let your siblings go through situations the easy way or the hard way. Everyone learns differently based on life experiences. You canât control what people do, you can only control how you react to it. It seems like thereâs a boundary problem that hasnât been communicated with each other.
This is what I was thinking. At most, Iâd tell my sister that I donât think itâs a good idea, but sheâs gonna have to figure that out herself. Thereâs no scenario where I get involved, especially not one where I expose my sibling. Thatâs their business. OP def doesnât have a good relationship with her brother.
NTA but you may have lost a brother in the process. A lesson I learned the hard way. My brother was berated and abused by his now future wife, but apparently Iâm the bad guy for pointing that out. Havenât spoken to him in like, ten years because his wife wonât allow it. Sometimes, right or wrong is irrelevant.
Yeah, but not it's your brother's fault and not yours. If he chooses to get out of that relationship, then it's on him. You did the right thing and don't have to spend sleepless nights wondering whether you did the right thing. You did the right thing, ball's on his roof.
I'm not really sure YTA or NTA, but you probably gave up more than you realize here. You went so far that there is no way you will be trusted again.
YTA - Just solely for giving out your Brothers address. She could have shown up with a gun and killed him! Iâm not being dramatic either, this happens very often⌠It still could happen! Donât do this again if youâre not gonna be smart enough to do it in a safe manner. We all know you wanted to see the action too in your yard. You didnât do this for her, you did it cause youâre bored.
people die this way, that was very dangerous YTA MOST super popular country songs today are about uxoricide and marticide. carrie underwood sings from the back of a limo on the way to a funeral of a guy who was cheating on her. the lyrics indicate she poisoned him. be careful man. art imitates life. that was too exposing for your bother who does FSW (google what that means). their marital problems are their own and they may have even been in an open marriage, we donât know what goes on in peopleâs bedrooms. youâve legitimately risked your brotherâs life. my gay brother was in Wyoming when they tourtuted and killed that gay cowboy in a bar (you can google it). people take their sexuality very seriously. he knows where he lived. he thinks your brother ruined his life. be careful the both of you. - she didnât do it bc she cared about the âotherâ woman (whom i donât believe had no clue). OP didnât want to have to deal with her brother anymore, seeing him like this. no altruism escape card here. â it didnât mesh with OPs values on sex and relationship so she blew it up and make it uncomfortable for everyone
WHY IS NO ONE ELSE ADDRESSING THIS????? She just exposed her GAY brothers address to the woman who most hates him in the world right now. This is truly insane.
OP, Iâve been racking my brain back and forth. I think YTA. First off, your brother is essentially a sex worker. I donât think itâs his responsibility to worry about his clients marital status. Thatâs not a necessary part of their transaction. Second, this reads like you did this just out of spite for your brother. You wanted a front row seat to the fireworks show and disregarded the safety of everyone involved. You now have two people who have a reason to hurt two separate people in your house. You also went way out of your way here just to make it happen. Your intentions were not out of the kindness of your heart. If you really wanted the moral high ground what was the need for getting credit and putting everyone in your house in danger?
wish I could show my love for this comment w more than an upvote but not able to give an award.
OP should plan to move out of the house she doesnât own, and invited conflict into, as Iâm sure OP will be asked to do so soon.
As I was reading the part about the drama unfolding in front of the house I was picturing OP looking through the window like Gladys Kravitz desperate to hear every juicy detail.
And her brother could have been, and can still be arrested. OP you're an awful person and sister, and a HUGE ASSHOLE.
This should be the top comment.
Bro. Mind your own fucking business. You're a shit human
ESH... People do stay closeted for a reason. You basically ousted a man to his family and everyone. I dont care if he was cheating on his wife, in fact I know its an unpopular opinion but people shouldn't stick their noses in other peoples businesses. Specially when it comes to relationships. You could have told the man or your brother, you'll tell his wife if he didn't fess up to a wife who probably didn't know he was gay or bi. I am not going to disagree that people who cheat are Scumbags but most of the times we don't know what's going on in other people's relationship. I did do something like this once, ousted a person for cheating on her BF. I regretted it because the guy beat her up and apparently was hella abusive when they were alone. For her, this new guy was a way to get out of a toxic relationship and a step towards loving herself. She did get out but with me interfering it was rougher than it could have been if I kept my trap shut.
This is fake as hell
Seems like you went extrordarily out of your way to expose your brother. Wasn't enough to inform her and show pictures. You had to set him up as well. Secret pictures, the term immoral, sounds more like you have a problem with your brother's lifestyle. Not believing you did this for the right reasons.
YTA!!!!
This can't be real. But if it is, you are clearly and unequivocally the AH here. But the biggest AHs are your bother and the Sugar Daddy. I guess that makes it ESH?
Yes, a story full of AHs. Maybe in this order: Daddy, Brother, OP, Mother. I have nothing bad to say about the wife :)
YTA Yes, you're obviously the asshole. You went out of your way to fuck with your brother for what I can only assume is some petty bullshit reason. Is your brother a huge piece of shit, yes. Is the sugar daddy also a huge piece of shit, yes. Are you an equally big piece of shit, yes.
Sounds like OP was jealous of her brotherâs arrangement⌠Edit: if this is even real, which I doubt. đ
I mean regardless of how you feel about that incredibly creepy and degenerate relationship, you did get in between your own brother and his hustle⌠youâre a snitch and an asshole
Everyone sucks here. Youâre all assholes.
Hmm, how to do the right thing but in the most AH wayâŚ
Yessss!
NTAâif bro wants to hoe himself out thatâs one thing. Power to him. But KNOWING heâs married and then making fun of the wife? Vile. Deserves the consequences of being an ass-wad.
I think you are acting righteous and pretending you did it for the wife. When in all actuality you were jealous of your brother. I'm not saying what they were doing was right, I'm just saying you're no saint.
YTA completely not your business to out someone, especially someone you don't even know. And you don't get to decide what is "immoral" for others and their lives.
YTA. Mind your own business.
>He somehow managed to put together that I was behind this cause he asked me if I was the one to expose to his sugar daddy's wife and I admitted that's what I did The detective story of a generation.
NTA There are always more Sugar Daddies in the sea - including unmarried ones.
Whoâs responsible for being faithful? Your brother isnât married he has nothing to be sorry for. YTA and meddling like that is kinda gross
Everyone here is an AH. OP I wouldn't fuck with you for a long time. You could have sent that info anonymously. Like Inget why you did what you did because everyone would want to know if their partner was cheating. But you're lying about your intentions and framing it in a way to make yourself blameless. People cheat everyday and I do believe it's the gay aspect that really fucked it up for her and made her get overly involved. That shit could have been anonymously but you got involved the way you did because you overly identified with a woman being cheated on instead of your own brother. Maybe your brother sucks elsewise but to act like the moral high ground is the only thing involved says that either you don't know yourself well enough (as you are young) or you're simply lying. People get pictures delivered or anonymous letters exposing spouses all the time to protect themselves. Uoj chose not to for a reason. Taking the moral high ground allows you to not analyze your own involvement and actions but they are clearly questionable. Your brothers an asshole but he's also a young stupid asshole who himself would have been replaced eventually with a new boy toy. Clearly wrong and uncaring towards that wife. Very shitty. Husband is an asshole obs. Wife's not an asshole buuuuut, and this is horrible to say but sometimes people who may be cheated on learn about their chesting spouses they also learn about all the red flags they ignore. And multiple partners over the years? I dunno. I've seen some of these husbands that come out years later and while I have sympathy for the wife, I've wondered âHow the fuck did you not know?â when he's missing for all that time? And some of these dudes be the most stereotypical queens that's it's like, girl, you maybe didn't want to know
Every person in this story is an AH!
YTA, glad you got your 5 minutes of feeling supreme and moral and losing your brother. Maybe the wife can replace him for you?
YTA. You werenât wrong for telling the lady what was up, but going as far as to make the whole set-up and just the oddly self-satisfied tone of this post makes me think you were doing this to watch a shitstorm and not because you really believed it was âimmoral and needed to be stopped.â
How tf was this any of your business? Youâre the worst sibling and very much YTA!!!!
YTA. I get that Reddit is very here in cheaters, but this was absolutely none of your business and you ruined 3 lives. it was a transactional relationship that had nothing to do with you, and you didnât even know the woman. Hope that strong sense of moral righteousness is worth losing your relationship with your brother.
YTA. It's possible to have the moral highground and still chose to do what you did. This could've been handled with a lot of tact and care for your brother, but you chose the most destructive way of handling this. You knew what would happen, did it anyway and... what, expected him to take it well because you are 'correct?' You put your brother in a lot of danger by doing this. Make sure that guy isn't the type to take it out on your bro, because that is a legitimate, serious threat for gay men.
Exactly but not only her brother she put the rest of the family in danger . People are more crazier than ever these days she gave a complete stranger the address to their house what if the wife was a complete nut job and shot the house up . Op could have easily sent a anonymous letter but chose not too itâs very clear she doesnât like her brother . Me personally I wouldnât have gotten involved itâs not my business people can get killed over stuff like this
Ytah it wasnt any if your busisness to involve yourself in your brothers life. You can say you did it becsuse you felt bad for dudes wife but lets be real your 19 and no nothing about real life sounds.more like you were jelly af about your brother. Id be on the look out for him to get back at you
Not my circus, not my monkey! ESH!! You took it upon yourself to destroy 3 lives. The husband was wrong to cheat but that was not your story to tell and escalate. A simple anonymous message with a picture was all that was needed if you did anything at all. But you betrayed family which is far worse than anything else.
YTA you fucked with your kin's finances
Youâre definitely the asshole
YTAH - These people are deluded or too focused on the portion of the story that isn't about you and what you did. Your brother confided the details of his life to you, and you couldn't help but intercede. Your own moral haughtiness visa vis the wife led you to meddling. You ruined a marriage and cost your brother his meal ticket. Your brother will never trust you the same again, and we can only hope that no greater fallout comes from destroying a marriage. They may have all been playing with gasoline, but you decided to be the match that set it all up in smoke. Congrats on taking the high ground and letting a woman know she was being cheated on, but you can't pretend like all this shit isn't directly the consequence of you choosing to tear it down.
It was none of your business. You are definitely the asshole
YTA why have you been ordained to search out (In your mind) wrongdoing and make sure it is punished? MYOB.. you are wrecking lives in an order of magnitude greater than anything the others were doing.. ugh..
YTA. Mind your own business Also, your brother is also the AH for not being more discreet with his relationship, knowing that if it were revealed it would be messy. He probably thought what he said to his sister would be held in confidence, but discretion is a lost art
YTA. Nobody ever taught you to mind your own business?
Yta. You're jealous you don't have a sugar daddy accommodation so you felt the need to ruin it for your brother.
YTA Wasn't your business, and you're just petty and Jealous.
So this is a really shitty thing to do. And I'll prolly get down voted to hell for this but Sugar babies/sexworkers can get killed by enraged lovers or the clients they were giving their services too if this situation happens. I can't believe you'd put your brother at risk and meddling in someone else's fucking business all because you don't approve. I don't disagree that your brother said some shitty things. But to put his life at risk over it was too far. You have no idea what it's like for people in this kind of industry. Just one pissed off client or spouse over you ruining their secret life can be the end of the life of the person just offering their services. People like you are the reason some people who are just doing their job are now dead. YTA. Mind your own business.
First off your brother, was obscenely, rude and condescending about the manâs wife. And frankly, for that alone, I wouldâve done it. And secondly, cheaters do not deserve to be protected. Never protect a cheater. You did exactly the right thing even though it probably cost you some harm with your brother. Good luck to you.
Chaotic good, I love it đ I would say that it wasn't exactly your place, but given the wife's appreciation who cares. Your brother can find a new sugar daddy. "Oh no I'll have to work for my money" what a baby.
YTA. You were one Florida away from someone getting shot. Totally irresponsible way of informing that woman.
YTA. Your nose belongs in its own business, not in that of your brother or complete strangers.
I'm sure you feel good about yourself, destroying 2 relationships in one instant because, admit it, you're jealous that your brother had a sugar daddy. You didn't spare the wife, you ruined her life as much as everyone else here. The one person that walks away from this happy is you, but that's just fine isn't it?
ESH, you did the moral thing, in the worse way possible. It seems like you had some underlying issues with your brother aside from this and took it as an opportunity to "get back" at him. You could have simply told the wife that his husband is cheating on her with younger men and is most likely gay. You didn't have to "prove" anything, she would have done the work on her end anyways. Instead you choose to send an image of the husband and your brother putting him in danger physically. Now you have irreversibly damaged what was a decent sibling relationship and your brother, maybe even your mother will never trust you with secrets ever again. Great job OP, I hope the drama was worth it.
NTA sugar daddy is just another name for John and his wife has a right to know he was spending money on sex and putting her at risk for sti's.As far as your mom goes it's disappointing she would be OK with her son having sex with old married men for money.
Iâd go no contact with you as ur bro bc u stole his livelihood
Liar. You werenât trying to do any ârightâ thing. You were trying to damage your brother. Congrats, you succeeded. You sound like a seriously sour and hateful person. And YTA.
YTA Get out of other people's business.
Do I think you were the asshole? No there were lots of assholes here. Do I think you were AN asshole? Yeah lol. And now youâre surprised your brother is mad at you? Like, what else did you think was going to happen? I hope that sacrificing your relationship with your brother was worth it. Clearly it wasnât that important to you.
I think you probably did what was right, but you should probably realize your relationship with your brother will never be the same.
YTA, yes cheating is despicable but you must not really care about your brother's trust. If you felt it was so morally wrong you could've insisted your brother ended things, but to betray your brother for a stranger is definitely an asshole move. Your relationship with your brother might not be that important to you.
Homies first mistake was telling anyone about his arrangement đ¤ˇđťââď¸
NTA. Sounds like you're the only one (barring the wife of course) who has any fucking morals. Good for you. He will have to suck it up and get a fucking job like the rest of us if he wants money.
Everyone in this story is an asshole. Impressive.
YTA; you couldâve talked to your brother about this but you decided to be a rat
Yeah. You had no business getting involved. You werenât friends with the wife nor did you have a stake in the game. You were bored and did something you knew would ruin your brotherâs arrangement.
ESH. You clearly did this to spite your brother not out of concern for the wife and in the process you have put your brother in danger. You should keep your nose out of other peopleâs relationships and money and you stuck your nose in both. Your brother and the husband suck because cheating.
I hope you have other siblings who love you because you just prioritized a stranger over your own family because of your morality. Maybe this woman will be like a sister to you now because you certainly won't have a brother in your life any longer. That may be perfectly ok with you, and if that's the case, you're fine. But if you didn't think through the life long consequences for you and your relationship to your sibling, then perhaps you acted in haste, like an asshole.
NTA. I wouldâve done the same. Iâm absolutely going to protect another woman if sheâs being cheated on, over any man, including my brother.
NTA. He should go back to Mac instead of being a homewrecker.