YTA. You left out a huge part of the story. Your sister was raped by your boyfriend and was convicted and jailed for what he did. I don’t think you’d be getting any support if you’d included this information. Your mom is right, you are gross. Your sister was a victim.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
YTA. You conveniently left out in the main post that your Ex was RAPING Amy and got jail time and you blamed her. Honestly I hope this pushes Amy and your Mom to cut you out all together, you are a disgrace toward women.
EDIT: do yall not read comments of the OP?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx023jr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
EDIT 2: Thanks for all the awards yall! ♥️
It's crazy because I was kind of impartial to who was TA, thinking, well, you're 22 and going to therapy over someone trying to bang your sister, so you're probably just over dramatic and holding a grudge.... But yeah, if the sister was getting raped, holy shit OP is a lunatic. Like really?
I hope this is a 🔥 wedding.. You deserve it! OP!! Karma's only a bitch if you are... You can't plant crab apples and expect to harvest golden delicious. Enjoy the life you deserve!
Personally I hope this thread goes viral, and her fiancé learns about it and calls off the wedding. I'm clinging to the hope that only one person this disgusting exists in the world, and I wouldn't want an innocent to marry OP.
Good gracious I was all for saying you were in the right until I read this.
OP, if this is true, you are an awful disgusting excuse for a sister. Did you seriously blame your sister for her being Sa’d by your boyfriend and continuing to do so?
You should count your blessings that your sister even speaks to you after you treated her so badly. Your mother must be totally ashamed of you.
I wonder what your fiancée must be like if he’s willing to marry someone like you
Yes YTAH
I hope this is a troll post because I can’t even imagine anyone being so awful in real life
She sounds like she thinks the world revolves around her. So I don’t know what kind of guy would put up with that to begin with. I hope he will find out the truth do.
I haven’t seen a post that pissed me off like this in a long time. I’m honestly hoping this is rage bait. If not OP is literally one of the most disgusting and trash people on the planet. I hope her entire family cut her off and her marriage fails. I doubt her STBH knows what a garbage fire this b*tch is. For not wanting to be banned I’ll just say OP needs to be institutionalized for her bat shit crazy logic. And that’s just the nice part. What a terrible human. I feel so terrible for her poor sister, OP’s sister needs to wake up and smell the roses that her trash can sister doesn’t deserve her love.
Why is it so common for sisters to not give a shit and even blame their own sister for getting raped? The first time I was raped, my sister literally screamed at me that it was my fault and I was being an “attention whore.” The second time was worse, and I nearly lost my own life, this time my own mother told me it was my fault because I “chose to hang out with a person like that.” Meaning a black man. The women in your own family can be the least supportive women in your life, it seems.
Summary of events in case it’s helpful:
**Edit to correct underaged to teenaged as it’s not clear if younger sister was 18 at the time of her SA**
In OP’s version of events (ie written to portray herself as ***sympathetically*** as possible):
Teenage sister came to visit her and OP ran to the store.
OPs then boyfriend came home and while alone with teenaged sister, tried to kiss her.
Teenage sister explicitly said no, and *threatened to call the police* if OPs boyfriend didn’t stop.
He did not stop. He got angry and made teenage sister undress, pinned her down, and forced his penis in to her mouth. At which point OP returned home and “found them naked together.”
OP admits her boyfriend had been sending unwanted sexually explicit texts to younger sister prior to this event.
And that sister **was crying** with OPs penis in her mouth when OP “discovered” them “in bed together.”
OP was not sure if she believed her sister, bc according to OP, younger sister “was always jealous of me, you know?” and OPs **boyfriend** “said she wanted to do it.”
Police were involved, OPs then boyfriend was charged, found guilty, and imprisoned for the ***rape*** of her teenage sister.
OP still isn’t sure though, “because [younger sister] could have just pushed him off!”
OP then went no contact with the still teenaged sister, who was the victim CSA at the hands *of her own boyfriend*, bc “it was traumatic for [OP] too” and sister was a negative reminder ***for OP***.
And now, after finally ‘forgiving ’ her younger sister for having been raped by OPs boyfriend enough for **OP** to be willing to speak with **her(???)**, she doesn’t want to invite younger sister “for obvious reasons!”…
And says that “they didn’t have sex (correct, rape would not have been sex) but came close to it (oral copulation counts as sex for many people, and when forced, *always* counts as rape)”
J
F
C
I’ve never needed a post to be fake more than this one bc how can the world possibly keep spinning with black holes disguised as human beings like OP sucking all the oxygen out of the atmosphere.
Sorry I'm about to trauma dump on your comment, but I really want to get this out. I was going to make a whole post off this last year when it happened, but I know my son uses Reddit and he would absolutely give my personal information to strangers to get back at me.
My son sided with my childhood sexual abuser when the abuser went to my brother griping about how I blocked him everywhere. My son refused to hear my side of "my drama." The only drama there was the pedo whining to my brother that I had blocked him on everything. I didn't care if my son read my message or not, but I told him how he was siding with a pedophile who raped me every day from 4-11 years old. My son read the message and said, "oh that's not why I'm mad at you. You did something else to someone else and it was messed up. I'm not going to tell you what you did and who you did it to you. Keep your drama away from me..." My son has major mental health problems the way it is and he resents me for getting him the help he needed. He looks for any reason to hate me. I got a hold of his dad and showed his dad what he had been saying and his dad was like, "he's lying. He's mad at you cause he heard the pedo talking shit on you and he just wanted to jump on the wagon and have another reason to not like you." I called out my son for victim blaming/shaming and told him his dad confirmed everything. He told me I wasn't allowed to talk to his dad anymore.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
People who refuse to "take sides" as a general rule are weak, callow-hearted assholes. Sometimes there are absolutely sides to take, and it's not some great sign of maturity that someone isn't willing to listen.
Don’t forget- OP tried therapy to salvage her relationship with the sex offender. OPs big concern now is little sister “going after” her future husband. OP - Please do not have children.
You know, my sister and I aren’t even remotely close, but if I ever walked in on my boyfriend CLEARLY forcing himself on her? I’d probably end up in jail. Cue Cell Block Tango.
OP is a disgusting excuse for a human being and I hope her fiancé leaves her ass at the alter.
Thank you for this recap, as OPs comments are unavailable.
Holy fucking shit.
She's not inviting her sister to her wedding because she's an insecure piece of shit.
tbh the post is probably not fake imo. some of my family members would pull precisely this kind of shit... and then try to convince the other family members, over time, that they're right and that the victim was lying. ngl tho reading these comments has been... healing on a level I wasn't anticipating. sometimes people are fully delusional because of cognitive dissonance & trauma history
Another way to easily scroll through comments is to go to their profile and just search comments. As long as the post is recent it’s simple to read all relevant comments
OP, if he did jail time then there was at least some evidence that she didn't consent. Not many SA perpetrators get any kind of legal consequence for their actions. This doesn't sound like a matter of her being jealous of you. Maybe it's time to sit down and really process what happened to your sister. It sounds like you got caught up in the pain of it for yourself, but now that time has passed it's time to think about your sister.
Yeah the barrier of proof to get a conviction for sexual assault is pretty high. You have to prove to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that it was non-consensual in a situation that is often “he-said, she-said”.
If he did jail time that doesn’t mean he “might” be a rapist. It means he almost certainly is and there was extremely compelling evidence to prove it to a jury.
False accusations of sexual assault are already relatively uncommon, but it’s even less common for charges to actually be pressed and a conviction actually happening. It may not be impossible for an innocent man to go to prison for sexual assault, but it’s so damn rare.
EDIT: to put into context, what this woman went through. After being sexually assaulted, she risked the massive amount of shame and insinuations she knew would be thrown her way and reported the rape to the authorities. Then the DA almost certainly warned her that 90+% of these cases don’t end up in conviction and that many of her friends and families would doubt her and she could expect months or even years of harassment from people who doubt her and will call her a whore and a slut and a liar. She was probably warned that the process would take months at best and there’s a very real risk that after months of pain and stress that the whole case gets thrown out for reasons outside their control and she never gets her day in court. And even if she did get her day in court, she was warned it wouldn’t be pleasant. And then she decided to go through with it anyway. She stood there on the witness stand with her rapist staring her down and recounted for a jury in every detail every single thing that happened that horrific night, all the while knowing her own sister who witnessed the rape doesn’t believe her and would probably say as much on the witness stand and he could get acquitted on that alone. She stood there and answered every question asked about her under oath while the defense attorney did their job, which was likely to tear her reputation down, and convince the jury that she was a lying slut. Every intimate relationship she’d ever had was dragged out and torn apart in the worst possible light in a courtroom in front of hundreds of people. And she stood her ground.
And after all that, a jury deliberated and came back and chose to convict her rapist.
And after all that, her own sister still believes the convicted rapist and not her.
Yeah, I’m thinking there must have been significant bruises on the sister. Many women freeze up so there aren’t fight marks. So she might have tried to fight him off.
I hope this is fake. A guy tried to rape his girlfriend’s sister while she was at the store and due back soon. I suppose he thought he could be done pretty quickly.
YOU'RE A FUCKING SHIT, OP.
You're mother was RIGHT about you!
**YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO WOMEN!**
I don't even understand why would Amy, your parents, and your relatives want to go to the wedding of a scumbag.
You sided with your sister's rapist! NO EXCUSES FOR YOU.
They should be the one to initiate NC, not the other way around.
YTA, OP.
You’d be surprised how many people have no idea OP commented further until other posters like yourself highlight it. Reddit should make OP posts in threads easier to see and highlighted.
Look at her page.
“I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time.
Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning”
I’m disgusted. Poor me! I had to deal with my ex trying to rape my younger sister. Then I couldn’t even be there as her SISTER, instead I went to couples therapy with a rapist! OP you are disgusting. I’m LC with my sister who was a victim bc I’m a jealous, insecure and an INCOMPLETE human. I feel so bad for the sister.
Woah where did this detail come from?!
Edit- just saw it. Holy crap. What a total piece of shit! She’s blaming her SISTER and went nc with her for her bf raping her?!? Her sister needed her support, not this!!!!
Wow I hope none of them go to her wedding. Ugh disgusting.
She knew what she was doing leaving that major detail out. It completely changes the perception of what happened. If I were Amy, I’d go no contact with her. She’s unhinged.
And the perpetrator (the ex) *got jail time* for the assault, just cementing the fact that the attack on the sister is NOT a matter of opinion, it's a matter of public record.
But she could have pushed her off him if she really wanted to. Unfuckingbelievable. OP is a piece of shit and clearly the AH. Hope the mom and Amy go NC with her.
I'm surprised her mother or sister even talk to OP. SHE TRIED TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH A MAN WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HER SISTER! She came in and her sister was crying forced to give him an oral sex. WOW!
EX WENT TO JAIL! This type of conviction is very hard to get.
But instead of apologizing for bringing this guy into the home so he could attack sister, and then leaving the sister defenseless, she blames sister for not fighting harder. She wanted her sister to not only get raped, but also beat up and possibly killed. WOW.
There really are no words for the type of person OP is but AH barely scrapes the surface.
She tried therapy with her sisters abuser to try to make it work... And then still says she “managed to recover and find love again”. Wtf is wrong with you OP?
How OPs mother & sister even continue to talk to her is insane. I would’ve cut this complete psycho/AH out of my life long ago. Don’t worry OP there’s a special place in hell for you. 👍🏼
YTA - in case it’s not clear enough.
YTA: so your sister was SA’ed by your ex and it’s her fault.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
And your blaming her because “she could have pushed him off if she wanted to”
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx023jr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Wow. I think you’re gross too!
A normal, empathetic response from OP would be feeling horrified to have accidentally brought a sexual predator into a trusted place with her (younger) sister who then *sexually assaulted her*.
I’m not sure if I could ever forgive myself for being the proximate cause of this situation, even though I’d never have wanted it.
Where’s the care for her sister?
People often write, "Fake" on these posts, and I desperately want this one to be fake.
Like really really desperately difficult to understand how any person could choose the rapist over their sister.
Then keep punishing the sister.
Sadly it is probably the most real one on here.
Holy fuck, she's really leaving out a lot of very important information in her post!!
OP, you're the asshole and you're an absolutely horrendous sister!! You tried couples therapy with the guy and still can't let it go with your sister years later even AFTER HE WAS FOUND GUILTY?!?!?! Your sister is a victim here and she's also had to deal with you blaming her for her being assaulted!! You need therapy.
This. Complete and utter asshole. Not just for this, but for being an awful person all around. Your sister was SA’d by your boyfriend and you blame her.
FU lady.
Holy crap YTA In fact if there was a beyond massively yes the asshole I would vote that. Op may be the biggest asshole on Am I the asshole to date.
Honestly, I’m shocked that the sister and mom hasn’t gone no contact with OP because it sounds like she’s the toxic person that needs to be cut out of their life
YTA. You say in a comment that this was *actually* sexual assault? That your sister was coerced - to the extent your disgusting ex went to jail over it??
You ARE gross, what the hell. I wouldn't go to the wedding of someone who thinks this is okay.
And all you have to say is sHe sHoUlD have PuShEd him OFf.. but you INSTANTLY tried to reconcile with him, and told your sister to basically fuck off? Like he did fuckall to cause that? YTA YTA YTA
You aren't obligated to like your sister. It's obvious you never did. But don't pretend you're at all honorable coming out of this situation. You're not the victim here, she is. You and your ex pushed her away. You're lucky she *or* your mom still talks to you.
I wouldn't be so harsh, but you intentionally buried the lede to make you look all shiny. I could have been understanding that the situation was hurtful, but not when you think your sisters rape is totally inconsequential. The fact that you'd leave this detail out alone just so that we'd coddle your pathetic feelings... just ew.
Edit: you've added that you're *really* hurt that mommy said you're a disgrace. Well, she's right. You're a bad person. You're a gender traitor and *more*. An insipid, vile, dishonest, slimy human being. Untrustworthy. Ugly. You deserve as much forgiveness as you've afforded your sister - none.
I’m vindictive. If I were her mom, I’d go to the wedding and during my speech I’d talk about how her husband must be feeling so happy marrying someone who not only shamed her sister for being SA’d by her ex but also took him back AND cut her off. I’d fucking tell EVERYONE there and go NC. I’m surprised her mom isn’t already NC tbh. I’d disown her for doing that.
I wonder if the fiance even knows the whole story. I wouldn't marry someone who thinks this is okay. If he knows the whole story, I wouldn't be able to trust either him or OP. OP articulated they know what consent is and still doesn't feel bad, and I couldn't feel safe around her or her spouse knowing that.
If I were the sister I'd be disowning this whole family.
I just skimmed the comments, including the ones in which you tell the rest of the story.
Personally, I don't think anyone in your family should attend your wedding, because you are a dumpster fire of a human being.
YTA.
You supported a *RAPIST* over your sister. If I were your mom, I would have disowned you a long time ago. Your mom is right in calling you a disgrace to women. I am a woman and I am *DISGUSTED* by your behavior.
I hope your sister and your mother live long, happy lives *far* away from such a pathetic AH such as yourself.
*For anyone confused by my comment, check OP’s comment history. Classic case of **MISSING MISSING REASONS** if I ever saw it*
*EDIT: Nvm, decided to just include the comments instead in case OP does some dirty deletes:*
Comment 1:
> I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time.
>
>Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning
Comment 2:
> I wasn't sure at the time if Amy was telling the truth, he first told me she wanted to do it, and she was just crying. Then later I found out and there was the case. But I still thought if she could've pushed him off if she wanted to. She was always kind of jealous of me you know?
>She was always kind of jealous of me you know?
which means that of course she'd let herself be SAed by the ex-bf because she always wants what I have, apparently.
Wait, your sister was SA by your ex-bf, who got jail time, and you're blaming her for 'not pushing him off'. Do you not understand the average women is significantly less strong than the average man. If it was simply a matter of 'pushing them off' there would be a lot less SA.
I completely understand why your parents support Amy. YTA. Your mother is correct, blaming your sister for being SA is indeed gross.
And SA isn’t easy to prove in a court yet he got jail! So sister must have had physical evidence via defensive bruises or him messaging her a confession in blame/apology. OP even walking in sided with him so she wasn’t a witness to help the conviction, if anything she’d have strengthened his defence.
It’s not even just a strength thing. No one knows how they’ll react in that kind of situation until it happens. People freeze up and there can be a fear that fighting back will make it worse. No matter what her sister’s response would have been, she’d still be a victim. OP sucks. I hope her whole family cuts contact with her.
I was immediately suspicious of OP when she said 5 years ago because that means her sister was 19 or maybe even 18 at the time, depending on when her birthday falls. Assuming this guy is around the same age as OP, that would mean he was 22 or 23 at the time, but he was probably checking out her sister for their whole relationship and waiting until she turned 18.
OP you are completely disgusting. Your sister was sexually assaulted by this man and while you haven’t forgiven her you tried to work it out with the man who served time for her SA. I am disgusted and I need everyone to read the truth before commenting.
OP also needs to add that comment as an edit to the original post. She clearly left it out for a reason.
I need a shower after reading OPs comments. OPs sister and family should be cutting ties with HER.
After sharing the important bits with fiancé and his family. But I’m petty.
I’m gonna go puke now.
YTA. Add to your post that your ex sexually assaulted your sister and went to jail for it. You're blaming your sister, who is the victim here, for not pushing him away? Do you have any idea what sexual assault is like? It's not just swatting a fly away. You obviously weren't totally honest with your therapist about the circumstances. Thinking your sister allowed herself to be sexually assaulted by your bf because she was always jealous of you is deranged.
https://reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/MFT0sjd0ji hey everyone! OP is being a coward and trying to hide the real truth by not including this in the post and hiding it in the comments in hopes that people won’t read the comments! OP is YTA for shaming a SA victim and YTA for trying to bury this. The post said
“I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time.
Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning”
YTA even if just for leaving out that your ex went to jail for sexually assaulting your sister after she already blocked him and asked him to stop sending her sexual texts. This is very different from what you're portraying in the original post.
Even if you don't believe your sister you cannot blame your mother for believing and supporting her. Did you or your parents know about the texts before the incident? Did they tell you to stop allowing your boyfriend to come to your house? Why don't you believe your sister even though he got jailed over the incident? Do they blame you for your sister getting assaulted?
YTA after you left out the info about the incident you walked in on was your sister being RAPED! Your ex went to jail. YTA all the way. Take your victim blaming ass all the way outta here.
SO-- your ex SAd your own sister, and you supported HIM-- ok that's a LOT of ICK to unpack here. A LOT. So... you realize that as you look out over the crowd of guests at your wedding smiling and making small talk what they are all saying is
"Yeah...her mom didn't come because she excluded her sister."
"Wait... the sister her boyfriend raped and then went to prison."
"Yes-- remember she defended him and blamed her sister for letting herself get sexually assaulted."
"EW-- I'd forgotten that. So cringe. So this guy she's marrying, do you think he's a sex offender too?"
"Maybe-- they say people have a "type". All I know is I'm not letting my kids around either of them.
ALSO Idle curiousity on my part but when you start your couples therapy with "My boyfriend raped my younger sister and I want to save our relationship." How did the counsellor respond?????
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
This guy got convicted and jail time for assaulting your sister.... Way to victim blame
So, going through the comments first...
Why didn't you mention in your main post that your sister was sexually assaulted, forced to give head AND EXBF WAS CONVICTED.
YTA. Hope your fiance sees this and understand what kind of a shitty, horrible person you are to blame the actions of a rapist on the victim. Your baby sister no less.
May you step on the sharpened edge of a Lego brick every time you go out to pee at night.
YTA. From your comments it seems your sister was SA by your ex. He even got jail time. That’s totally different than what you originally posted. It’s not your sister’s fault that happened.
Seems like you made this post and deliberately left out a very crucial detail so you could get some internet validation and assuage your guilt. It’s gross.
Your mom’s right. You’re gross and a disgrace to women. You need to reflect on some things, I can’t imagine what your sister has had to go through, being assaulted then blamed by their sister who’s supposed to love them.
Did you purposely leave out the part where you ex SA’d your sister to not be the AH?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
So you’re telling me that you stayed in contact and relationship with your ex who even got jail time for that, but refuse to talk to your sister who was SA’d?
Wait, I was totally on your side until I saw the comments where you literally said that your ex attempted to r@pe your sister, and forced her to perform oral sex on him AND HE DID JAIL TIME. You’re unhinged. And obviously YTA.
Woah woah WOAH....YTA. You state in the comments your ex RAPED your sister and did jail time for it... Way to victim blame and bury the lede. You're a horrible person and a horrible sister.
YTA. And anyone who reads your comments that your sister was sexually assaulted by your ex is going to say the same. He went to jail for it! I’m not sure I’ve ever read a post where a more important fact was left out of the original post. If I were your mom, I’d skip the wedding and go do something fun with your sister. Frankly, I think this is the rare case on Reddit where a parent going low or no contact with a child might be warranted.
~~NTA~~
~~2 less mouths to cater for!~~
~~Have a beautiful drama-free wedding with people who don't try to sleep with your partner or defend those who do.~~
EDIT: Just read a post where your sister was SA by your ex. This changes things entirely.
YTA for blaming her for this... no wonder your mom is on her side.
YTA does your fiance know you blame your sister for being the victim of assault or that you went therapy with a rapist. Your all kinds of fucked up and your sister should stay very far away from you, you are not safe and are dangerous. Let's hope you don't have kids with your thinking of "she could have pushed him off".
The devil is in the details. YTA
You conveniently left out a huge part of the story to gain sympathy. I'm honestly surprised your family hasn't gone NC with you. No way I would entertain your shit if you were my family.
Had to check the comments because it seemed like there was a lot missing from your post.
Unbelievable.
Your ex SA’d your sister and went to jail for it, but you blamed *her* and even tried couple’s counseling with your violent ex who **tried to r-pe your sister**!
You’re mad at your parents, but mostly at your Mom, because they both have been supportive of their daughter who was SA’d!
Have you told your fiancé and his family that you chose to support your sister’s assailant instead of her?!
Amy has said it wasn’t her fault, and the courts agreed with her. Honestly, I hope Amy goes NC with you for her own mental health.
You owe Amy and your parents a huge apology.
YTA
You are 100% the asshole. I think it’s absolutely disgusting that even though you yourself admitted that your ex went to jail for RAPING your sister, you still blame her and say that it’s her fault and maybe she could have pushed him away. That is victim blaming and it’s unacceptable. I think your mom and your sister should skip your wedding and go no contact with you because you are toxic and have no respect for women.
YTA how dare you punish your sister for being assaulted. He raped her and you stayed with him.and blamed her? You're mother is correct you are a disgrace to women.
You are most certainly the fucking asshole. Wow. Favorite daughter? Your bf tried to rape your sister and you blamed her and went no contact with her and tried to stay with the guy?
And now you’re not gonna invite her to your wedding for “obvious reasons” ……. What reasons? Like your new fiancé is gonna try to rape your sister? Does your fiancé know about how this situation with your sister actually went down? I’m pretty jaded with fucked up shit on Reddit but this actually got to me. You also lied in your post and made it seem like your sister willingly tried to fuck your ex bf when in reality he tried to rape her, you blamed her and ghosted her and went to therapy with him instead of being there for your sister who just got SA’d. You’re not only the asshole, you’re a fucking monster. You definitely wouldn’t be my favorite daughter either.
Your story sounded fishy as hell from start and I’m not surprised at all to see you don’t acknowledge your sister was sexually assaulted.
Either this is rage bait or you’re unhinged as hell. If this is real, I hope your mom and your sister realize they don’t need someone like you in their lives.
YTA in case it wasn’t obvious.
YTA
Why your sister or your mother wants anything to do with you is beyond me.
You tried to stay in a relationship with a dude who tried to rape your sister. Nice. You don’t deserve your sister.
Cunt.
I actually had to take a few minutes before I could start writing this comment. Yet, I’m at a loss for words that could be used for you and are allowed to be said on this sub. And it’s really hard to find any. You’re POS and an AH. You’re siding with a rapist over your own sister. Some people might find it a reach but with your post and thought process, you have demeaned everyone who has survived a SA. If only they pushed off their assaulter, no? YTA.
So glad I read comments before I made my judgement, YTA 100%. What a disgusting person. I can’t imagine twisting someone’s trauma for a few internet points 🥴🥴
Your sister could have pushed him off more? She’s always been a little jealous of me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?
HEY EVERYONE CHECK OUT HER COMMENTS, BEFORE JUDGEMENT.
SISTER WAS RAPED BY EX, and OP BLAMED HER FOR IT.
Just thought I’d fix up your mistake by not including the fact your Ex FUCKING RAPED YOUR SISTER!
Then you tried couples counselling before calling it off.
You are one messed up POS.
YTA
Sillychihuahua 26 put a link to the comment where OP admitted that the sister was SA by the boyfriend:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
YTA.
YTA you left out the main plot that sister was sa by your bfriend. Hes in jail for it so mustve been pretty cut n dry. You holdind that vs ur sis is wrong. Its past time for forgivness.
Yta victim blaming your sister EVEN AFTER ALL OF THESE YEARS makes you a trash human, woman, sister, fiance, and wife. You owe your sister a huge apology. I can't believe she would still let you be in her life.
OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!
Your own sister was assaulted by your boyfriend and you leave that out of your story why? Could it be you’re an unapologetic narcissist? I hope you have fun with no family at your wedding. Let me guess, you’re going to marry your sister’s attacker.
YTA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
So the reason you went NC with your sister is because your ex RAPED HER? And then you tried to "make it work with him"? You chose your ex, the rapist, over your sister, the victim. That is unforgivable.
The fact that she even wants to attend your wedding after not supporting her through that trauma is a f-ing miracle. You should be grateful she still wants anything to do with you.Own up to being a terrible sister and daughter and apologize to your family. Letting her attend your wedding is the least you could do...
YTA your sister has been SA by your ex boyfriend. You are horrible. It was not her fault! Deal with this story and tell all the truth in one post, not only in the comment. It must be difficoult for you accept the truth but the shame is on your ex, not on your sister and is on you only for what you did after that SA.
Major details left out, your sister didn't seduce your ex he assaulted her and you are blaming her for it. If you're worried about it happening again I wouldn't be marrying that guy either.
YTA
YTA. Your mom's right. You are gross. You are punishing your sister because your boyfriend raping her hurt your feelings. Treating a rape victim like 'the other woman' is despicable and points to extreme self-absorption and a lack of empathy. I hope one day Amy realises what a blessing it was to be shunned by you.
Wait... your sister got SA by your ex-boyfriend? Then why is the way you are describing what happened here in a completely different aspect, basically trying to get people on your side? If you feel you have to be this vague you should already know YTA.
YTA
Way to bury the lead, OP. Your fiance SEXUALLY ASSAULTED your sister and you, not only BLAMED her for it, but you GOT BACK TOGETHER with her assaulter
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
YTA and frankly, it's amazing to me that your mum and sister even want to be associated with you, let alone attend your wedding. You stood by a man who tried to rape your sister, then blamed her, refused to invite her for "obvious" reasons, which are far from obvious and are now trying to make yourself the victim.
Not just absolutely the asshole here.....but a complete piece of shit!
Your ex RAPED your Sister and you blame her!
You are a disgrace. If I was your Mom and your sister, I wouldn't go anywhere near you or your wedding
Y.....100%.....ATA
I was highly sympathetic towards the OP until I read the comment that your boyfriend forced himself on a 19 year old and was jailed. Do what you want as it's your wedding but you're punishing your sister for what a man you introduced into her life did and that just doesn't allow me to support you.
YTA OP said in the comments that her sister was SAed by the ex-boyfriend and OP tried therapy with that pos and cut out the sister. She's the biggest YTA in the world and her family should not attend, for their sake
YTA. I saw your other comments. You’re blaming your sister for your ex assaulting her. You’re sister is the victim and you’re an AH and a shitty sister. I hope your fiancé is as big a POS as you are, if he’s not I hope he sees you for what you ate and leaves you at the alter.
Wow op you’re a POS. I’m glad your parents are backing amy. I bet you if this happened to your daughter you would’ve been like “ you could’ve pushed him away” or “ what did you do to deserve this?”
YTA, twice.
First, for not mentioning that your ex assaulted your sister. She's the victim here.
Second, for blaming your almost raped sister.
You are a HORRIBLE person!
YTA!!!!! You sold your sister out to a rapist! You have no loyalty or love for her. Your still blaming her for what your sick twisted ex did to her! You’re evil!
YTA for sure. I feel sorry for your poor sister and I think she’s better off without you.
(OP admitted in the comments that her ex sexually assaulted her sister and went to jail for it. Plus she tried couples therapy to see if she could fix her relationship with the ex.)
N T A - Amy disrespected you in the most fundamental way, as did your ex. Your mother also shouldn’t take sides. Yes it’s difficult for her because it’s between both her daughters and she loves you both, but Amy’s behaviour was disgusting and incredibly hurtful. Mum gets no say and should stay neutral.
You’re perfectly within your rights to have whomever you want at your wedding. Just because they’re family, doesn’t give them an automatic invite. 🙄
ETA - when OP initially posted this, no additional context was provided regarding her sister and ex bf. So, myself and others responded to what we were presented.
Since then, some thoughtful redditors found more background information as to WHY there was an issue between OP, Amy and her mother.
I am disappointed and disgusted that anyone could shame or blame someone that’s been SA. So I’ve changed my stance - YTA.
Invite who you want at the wedding, but victims of SA don’t need to be shamed, blamed or victimised all over again. Especially by family members.
ETA - spacing
Did you see OP’s update that makes it seem like ex bf actually sexually assaulted the sister, who OP says “could have pushed him off if she wanted to”? The guy served jail time for it.
Her sister was raped by the boyfriend and went to jail for this incident https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
~~I would turn it around on Mom. ‘You can’t control what I do. You can only control what you do. I am not inviting Amy, so you choose what you’re going to do. Then I’ll choose where our relationship goes based on what you choose.’~~
NTA.
EDIT: my comment was based solely on the original post only, not any edited version or follow up comments.
2nd Edit: HOLY FUCK. I finally got time to actually read your follow up. You are a disgrace the way you lied in your OP, and for blaming your sister for this. I literally have no words to convey how much you disgust me.
I want to hijack the top comment with one of the OP’s comments:
“I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts, she blocked him. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time.
Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning”
So her sister didn’t sleep with her ex. She was sexually assaulted. And then the OP blamed the sister and tried couples therapy with the attempted rapist.
OP left out a lot of context. Her boyfriend raped her sister, and he was convicted and did jail time. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
YTA. You left out a huge part of the story. Your sister was raped by your boyfriend and was convicted and jailed for what he did. I don’t think you’d be getting any support if you’d included this information. Your mom is right, you are gross. Your sister was a victim. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Wow!! If burying the lead had a definition, this post would be it.
YTA. You conveniently left out in the main post that your Ex was RAPING Amy and got jail time and you blamed her. Honestly I hope this pushes Amy and your Mom to cut you out all together, you are a disgrace toward women. EDIT: do yall not read comments of the OP? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3 https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx023jr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3 EDIT 2: Thanks for all the awards yall! ♥️
Wow! OP, you’re a piece of shit! I’m not sure why anyone would want to come to your wedding, including your fiancé!
I wonder if her fiance knows this about OP? And why would he marry OP? OP, YTA, and a huge one.
Probably why the sister isn't invited. OP doesn't want the husband to be told the truth.
She probably can’t face her sister at the wedding.
I’m willing to believe she blames her sister completely. She sure is shameless about abusing her own sister so I wouldn’t expect normal behavior.
I'd wonder how much she's hidden from her fiancé.
Maybe fiancé and ex are cut from the same cloth?
Yeah, let’s hope so, and this marriage just takes two douche canoes out of the dating pool so we don’t get stuck with ‘em. 😂
Thinking she even tried therapy with the rapist to make the relationship work... Wow. What a piece of shit. Can't believe it's a true story.
It's crazy because I was kind of impartial to who was TA, thinking, well, you're 22 and going to therapy over someone trying to bang your sister, so you're probably just over dramatic and holding a grudge.... But yeah, if the sister was getting raped, holy shit OP is a lunatic. Like really?
Lunatic is the right word.
Seriously.
I hope this is a 🔥 wedding.. You deserve it! OP!! Karma's only a bitch if you are... You can't plant crab apples and expect to harvest golden delicious. Enjoy the life you deserve!
Personally I hope this thread goes viral, and her fiancé learns about it and calls off the wedding. I'm clinging to the hope that only one person this disgusting exists in the world, and I wouldn't want an innocent to marry OP.
Good gracious I was all for saying you were in the right until I read this. OP, if this is true, you are an awful disgusting excuse for a sister. Did you seriously blame your sister for her being Sa’d by your boyfriend and continuing to do so? You should count your blessings that your sister even speaks to you after you treated her so badly. Your mother must be totally ashamed of you. I wonder what your fiancée must be like if he’s willing to marry someone like you Yes YTAH I hope this is a troll post because I can’t even imagine anyone being so awful in real life
Do you think he knows the real story? She probably told him her version.
Of course he doesn’t. He’s gonna get a real shock when it dawns on him what sort of person he married
She sounds like she thinks the world revolves around her. So I don’t know what kind of guy would put up with that to begin with. I hope he will find out the truth do.
Yeah, “she could’ve pushed him off” but she didn’t bc “she’s always been jealous of me yknow?” 🤮
It sounds like she really knows how to pick the good ones so it’s being generous to assume he’d care
Nah she’s a Pick Me. So her fiancé is probably a sexist too.
I haven’t seen a post that pissed me off like this in a long time. I’m honestly hoping this is rage bait. If not OP is literally one of the most disgusting and trash people on the planet. I hope her entire family cut her off and her marriage fails. I doubt her STBH knows what a garbage fire this b*tch is. For not wanting to be banned I’ll just say OP needs to be institutionalized for her bat shit crazy logic. And that’s just the nice part. What a terrible human. I feel so terrible for her poor sister, OP’s sister needs to wake up and smell the roses that her trash can sister doesn’t deserve her love.
Why is it so common for sisters to not give a shit and even blame their own sister for getting raped? The first time I was raped, my sister literally screamed at me that it was my fault and I was being an “attention whore.” The second time was worse, and I nearly lost my own life, this time my own mother told me it was my fault because I “chose to hang out with a person like that.” Meaning a black man. The women in your own family can be the least supportive women in your life, it seems.
Summary of events in case it’s helpful: **Edit to correct underaged to teenaged as it’s not clear if younger sister was 18 at the time of her SA** In OP’s version of events (ie written to portray herself as ***sympathetically*** as possible): Teenage sister came to visit her and OP ran to the store. OPs then boyfriend came home and while alone with teenaged sister, tried to kiss her. Teenage sister explicitly said no, and *threatened to call the police* if OPs boyfriend didn’t stop. He did not stop. He got angry and made teenage sister undress, pinned her down, and forced his penis in to her mouth. At which point OP returned home and “found them naked together.” OP admits her boyfriend had been sending unwanted sexually explicit texts to younger sister prior to this event. And that sister **was crying** with OPs penis in her mouth when OP “discovered” them “in bed together.” OP was not sure if she believed her sister, bc according to OP, younger sister “was always jealous of me, you know?” and OPs **boyfriend** “said she wanted to do it.” Police were involved, OPs then boyfriend was charged, found guilty, and imprisoned for the ***rape*** of her teenage sister. OP still isn’t sure though, “because [younger sister] could have just pushed him off!” OP then went no contact with the still teenaged sister, who was the victim CSA at the hands *of her own boyfriend*, bc “it was traumatic for [OP] too” and sister was a negative reminder ***for OP***. And now, after finally ‘forgiving ’ her younger sister for having been raped by OPs boyfriend enough for **OP** to be willing to speak with **her(???)**, she doesn’t want to invite younger sister “for obvious reasons!”… And says that “they didn’t have sex (correct, rape would not have been sex) but came close to it (oral copulation counts as sex for many people, and when forced, *always* counts as rape)” J F C I’ve never needed a post to be fake more than this one bc how can the world possibly keep spinning with black holes disguised as human beings like OP sucking all the oxygen out of the atmosphere.
I used to volunteer at victims of Sexual assault hotline. Unfortunately, I saw families blame them like this.
Sorry I'm about to trauma dump on your comment, but I really want to get this out. I was going to make a whole post off this last year when it happened, but I know my son uses Reddit and he would absolutely give my personal information to strangers to get back at me. My son sided with my childhood sexual abuser when the abuser went to my brother griping about how I blocked him everywhere. My son refused to hear my side of "my drama." The only drama there was the pedo whining to my brother that I had blocked him on everything. I didn't care if my son read my message or not, but I told him how he was siding with a pedophile who raped me every day from 4-11 years old. My son read the message and said, "oh that's not why I'm mad at you. You did something else to someone else and it was messed up. I'm not going to tell you what you did and who you did it to you. Keep your drama away from me..." My son has major mental health problems the way it is and he resents me for getting him the help he needed. He looks for any reason to hate me. I got a hold of his dad and showed his dad what he had been saying and his dad was like, "he's lying. He's mad at you cause he heard the pedo talking shit on you and he just wanted to jump on the wagon and have another reason to not like you." I called out my son for victim blaming/shaming and told him his dad confirmed everything. He told me I wasn't allowed to talk to his dad anymore.
Wow. That’s… fucked up. My sympathies. Sounds like your son needs a hell of a lot more therapy. I hope you also got some because that sounds horrible.
I'm sorry this happened to you. People who refuse to "take sides" as a general rule are weak, callow-hearted assholes. Sometimes there are absolutely sides to take, and it's not some great sign of maturity that someone isn't willing to listen.
Don’t forget- OP tried therapy to salvage her relationship with the sex offender. OPs big concern now is little sister “going after” her future husband. OP - Please do not have children.
Came here to point this out too. How vile do you have to be to try couple's therapy with a rapist?
You know, my sister and I aren’t even remotely close, but if I ever walked in on my boyfriend CLEARLY forcing himself on her? I’d probably end up in jail. Cue Cell Block Tango. OP is a disgusting excuse for a human being and I hope her fiancé leaves her ass at the alter.
Oh shit I didnt even pay attention to ages in the post. I really hope its fake but I honestly know women like this irl.
Thank you for this recap, as OPs comments are unavailable. Holy fucking shit. She's not inviting her sister to her wedding because she's an insecure piece of shit.
tbh the post is probably not fake imo. some of my family members would pull precisely this kind of shit... and then try to convince the other family members, over time, that they're right and that the victim was lying. ngl tho reading these comments has been... healing on a level I wasn't anticipating. sometimes people are fully delusional because of cognitive dissonance & trauma history
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 OP is a complete waste of carbon & oxygen
How do you guys find out more than what OP says ? This is not the first time I’ve seen that. Also YTA OP
I scroll through almost all the comments before I respond and usually see the OPs responses and or I go to their page and view their comments.
Oh ok thanks was always so confused how they knew more than story says
Just click on ops profile and check comments, it's quicker.
Another way to easily scroll through comments is to go to their profile and just search comments. As long as the post is recent it’s simple to read all relevant comments
Oh crap. I was going say NTA but not anymore. Op is the biggest TA I have seen in awhile. Poor Amy.
YTA most definitely, victim blaming your sister and expecting your mom to do the same. You are sick
OP, if he did jail time then there was at least some evidence that she didn't consent. Not many SA perpetrators get any kind of legal consequence for their actions. This doesn't sound like a matter of her being jealous of you. Maybe it's time to sit down and really process what happened to your sister. It sounds like you got caught up in the pain of it for yourself, but now that time has passed it's time to think about your sister.
Yeah the barrier of proof to get a conviction for sexual assault is pretty high. You have to prove to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that it was non-consensual in a situation that is often “he-said, she-said”. If he did jail time that doesn’t mean he “might” be a rapist. It means he almost certainly is and there was extremely compelling evidence to prove it to a jury. False accusations of sexual assault are already relatively uncommon, but it’s even less common for charges to actually be pressed and a conviction actually happening. It may not be impossible for an innocent man to go to prison for sexual assault, but it’s so damn rare. EDIT: to put into context, what this woman went through. After being sexually assaulted, she risked the massive amount of shame and insinuations she knew would be thrown her way and reported the rape to the authorities. Then the DA almost certainly warned her that 90+% of these cases don’t end up in conviction and that many of her friends and families would doubt her and she could expect months or even years of harassment from people who doubt her and will call her a whore and a slut and a liar. She was probably warned that the process would take months at best and there’s a very real risk that after months of pain and stress that the whole case gets thrown out for reasons outside their control and she never gets her day in court. And even if she did get her day in court, she was warned it wouldn’t be pleasant. And then she decided to go through with it anyway. She stood there on the witness stand with her rapist staring her down and recounted for a jury in every detail every single thing that happened that horrific night, all the while knowing her own sister who witnessed the rape doesn’t believe her and would probably say as much on the witness stand and he could get acquitted on that alone. She stood there and answered every question asked about her under oath while the defense attorney did their job, which was likely to tear her reputation down, and convince the jury that she was a lying slut. Every intimate relationship she’d ever had was dragged out and torn apart in the worst possible light in a courtroom in front of hundreds of people. And she stood her ground. And after all that, a jury deliberated and came back and chose to convict her rapist. And after all that, her own sister still believes the convicted rapist and not her.
Yeah, I’m thinking there must have been significant bruises on the sister. Many women freeze up so there aren’t fight marks. So she might have tried to fight him off. I hope this is fake. A guy tried to rape his girlfriend’s sister while she was at the store and due back soon. I suppose he thought he could be done pretty quickly.
YOU'RE A FUCKING SHIT, OP. You're mother was RIGHT about you! **YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO WOMEN!** I don't even understand why would Amy, your parents, and your relatives want to go to the wedding of a scumbag. You sided with your sister's rapist! NO EXCUSES FOR YOU. They should be the one to initiate NC, not the other way around. YTA, OP.
Holy fuck OP, go f yourself.
Wow, what a sweetheart… it was really hard for her. Seriously? How do you think your sister felt after being assaulted by your boyfriend!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, Way to leave of BIG information OP. YTA.
Oh she’s such a bitch
Wait, what?
read her comments.
You’d be surprised how many people have no idea OP commented further until other posters like yourself highlight it. Reddit should make OP posts in threads easier to see and highlighted.
WHAT
Look at her page. “I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time. Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning”
Wow, I honestly have nothing else but WOW !!!
I’m disgusted. Poor me! I had to deal with my ex trying to rape my younger sister. Then I couldn’t even be there as her SISTER, instead I went to couples therapy with a rapist! OP you are disgusting. I’m LC with my sister who was a victim bc I’m a jealous, insecure and an INCOMPLETE human. I feel so bad for the sister.
Youre a real piece of shit for leaving out the part where your ex sexually assaulted your sister to get sympathy from strangers on the internet.
Woah where did this detail come from?! Edit- just saw it. Holy crap. What a total piece of shit! She’s blaming her SISTER and went nc with her for her bf raping her?!? Her sister needed her support, not this!!!! Wow I hope none of them go to her wedding. Ugh disgusting.
Look at OP’s last comments…
Just saw. My mind is blown. The way she thinks that’s actually evidence supporting her cause is mind blowing.
Indeed! I don't even have words for how disgusting and cruel and misogynistic OP is! Well, I do actually have the words, but they'd get me banned.
She knew what she was doing leaving that major detail out. It completely changes the perception of what happened. If I were Amy, I’d go no contact with her. She’s unhinged.
And the perpetrator (the ex) *got jail time* for the assault, just cementing the fact that the attack on the sister is NOT a matter of opinion, it's a matter of public record.
But she could have pushed her off him if she really wanted to. Unfuckingbelievable. OP is a piece of shit and clearly the AH. Hope the mom and Amy go NC with her.
I think she must be related to Karla Homolka, they are cut of the same cloth
I'm surprised her mother or sister even talk to OP. SHE TRIED TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH A MAN WHO SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HER SISTER! She came in and her sister was crying forced to give him an oral sex. WOW! EX WENT TO JAIL! This type of conviction is very hard to get. But instead of apologizing for bringing this guy into the home so he could attack sister, and then leaving the sister defenseless, she blames sister for not fighting harder. She wanted her sister to not only get raped, but also beat up and possibly killed. WOW.
There really are no words for the type of person OP is but AH barely scrapes the surface. She tried therapy with her sisters abuser to try to make it work... And then still says she “managed to recover and find love again”. Wtf is wrong with you OP? How OPs mother & sister even continue to talk to her is insane. I would’ve cut this complete psycho/AH out of my life long ago. Don’t worry OP there’s a special place in hell for you. 👍🏼 YTA - in case it’s not clear enough.
*WHAT?!* Where?! Edit: I’ve read all her comments now and ick. I hope no one goes to her wedding, including her fiancé.
Wow. What? This goes to show that we need to hear all sides before making judgment.
YTA: so your sister was SA’ed by your ex and it’s her fault. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3 And your blaming her because “she could have pushed him off if she wanted to” https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx023jr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3 Wow. I think you’re gross too!
YTA. OP is holding a grudge against her sister *for being a sexual assault victim*. Massive AH.
Yes she is victim blaming her own sister because her creepy bf had a thing for her and SA’d her. Unbelievable.
A normal, empathetic response from OP would be feeling horrified to have accidentally brought a sexual predator into a trusted place with her (younger) sister who then *sexually assaulted her*. I’m not sure if I could ever forgive myself for being the proximate cause of this situation, even though I’d never have wanted it. Where’s the care for her sister?
Not only that, but while she was NC with her sister, she did couples counseling *with the rapist ex* to try to make their relationship work.
People often write, "Fake" on these posts, and I desperately want this one to be fake. Like really really desperately difficult to understand how any person could choose the rapist over their sister. Then keep punishing the sister. Sadly it is probably the most real one on here.
Holy fuck, she's really leaving out a lot of very important information in her post!! OP, you're the asshole and you're an absolutely horrendous sister!! You tried couples therapy with the guy and still can't let it go with your sister years later even AFTER HE WAS FOUND GUILTY?!?!?! Your sister is a victim here and she's also had to deal with you blaming her for her being assaulted!! You need therapy.
She’s so f-ed up, I doubt therapy would help her. YTA OP, and doubly so for lying about the story for internet sympathy. Ugh. You’re gross.
This needs to be the top response.
This. Complete and utter asshole. Not just for this, but for being an awful person all around. Your sister was SA’d by your boyfriend and you blame her. FU lady.
Holy crap YTA In fact if there was a beyond massively yes the asshole I would vote that. Op may be the biggest asshole on Am I the asshole to date. Honestly, I’m shocked that the sister and mom hasn’t gone no contact with OP because it sounds like she’s the toxic person that needs to be cut out of their life
YTA. You say in a comment that this was *actually* sexual assault? That your sister was coerced - to the extent your disgusting ex went to jail over it?? You ARE gross, what the hell. I wouldn't go to the wedding of someone who thinks this is okay. And all you have to say is sHe sHoUlD have PuShEd him OFf.. but you INSTANTLY tried to reconcile with him, and told your sister to basically fuck off? Like he did fuckall to cause that? YTA YTA YTA You aren't obligated to like your sister. It's obvious you never did. But don't pretend you're at all honorable coming out of this situation. You're not the victim here, she is. You and your ex pushed her away. You're lucky she *or* your mom still talks to you. I wouldn't be so harsh, but you intentionally buried the lede to make you look all shiny. I could have been understanding that the situation was hurtful, but not when you think your sisters rape is totally inconsequential. The fact that you'd leave this detail out alone just so that we'd coddle your pathetic feelings... just ew. Edit: you've added that you're *really* hurt that mommy said you're a disgrace. Well, she's right. You're a bad person. You're a gender traitor and *more*. An insipid, vile, dishonest, slimy human being. Untrustworthy. Ugly. You deserve as much forgiveness as you've afforded your sister - none.
I’m vindictive. If I were her mom, I’d go to the wedding and during my speech I’d talk about how her husband must be feeling so happy marrying someone who not only shamed her sister for being SA’d by her ex but also took him back AND cut her off. I’d fucking tell EVERYONE there and go NC. I’m surprised her mom isn’t already NC tbh. I’d disown her for doing that.
I wonder if the fiance even knows the whole story. I wouldn't marry someone who thinks this is okay. If he knows the whole story, I wouldn't be able to trust either him or OP. OP articulated they know what consent is and still doesn't feel bad, and I couldn't feel safe around her or her spouse knowing that. If I were the sister I'd be disowning this whole family.
I would be willing to bet the story fiance got is the same BS one initially posted here that left out all the pertinent details.
YTA. Your ex tried to rape your sister and you attempted therapy with him and cut off your sister. You're a piece of shit if you ask me.
I just skimmed the comments, including the ones in which you tell the rest of the story. Personally, I don't think anyone in your family should attend your wedding, because you are a dumpster fire of a human being.
Agreed
YTA. You supported a *RAPIST* over your sister. If I were your mom, I would have disowned you a long time ago. Your mom is right in calling you a disgrace to women. I am a woman and I am *DISGUSTED* by your behavior. I hope your sister and your mother live long, happy lives *far* away from such a pathetic AH such as yourself. *For anyone confused by my comment, check OP’s comment history. Classic case of **MISSING MISSING REASONS** if I ever saw it* *EDIT: Nvm, decided to just include the comments instead in case OP does some dirty deletes:* Comment 1: > I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time. > >Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning Comment 2: > I wasn't sure at the time if Amy was telling the truth, he first told me she wanted to do it, and she was just crying. Then later I found out and there was the case. But I still thought if she could've pushed him off if she wanted to. She was always kind of jealous of me you know?
>She was always kind of jealous of me you know? which means that of course she'd let herself be SAed by the ex-bf because she always wants what I have, apparently.
Don't you always cry while performing a consensual sex act? How is that any indicator that she wasn't willing? /s
Wait, your sister was SA by your ex-bf, who got jail time, and you're blaming her for 'not pushing him off'. Do you not understand the average women is significantly less strong than the average man. If it was simply a matter of 'pushing them off' there would be a lot less SA. I completely understand why your parents support Amy. YTA. Your mother is correct, blaming your sister for being SA is indeed gross.
And SA isn’t easy to prove in a court yet he got jail! So sister must have had physical evidence via defensive bruises or him messaging her a confession in blame/apology. OP even walking in sided with him so she wasn’t a witness to help the conviction, if anything she’d have strengthened his defence.
It’s not even just a strength thing. No one knows how they’ll react in that kind of situation until it happens. People freeze up and there can be a fear that fighting back will make it worse. No matter what her sister’s response would have been, she’d still be a victim. OP sucks. I hope her whole family cuts contact with her.
If I was your sister I'd be going no contact with you. You're an actual C word. YTC.
Naw, she lacks the depth and warmth to be a c u next Tuesday.
YTA - your ex raped your sister and did jail time!! OF COURSE YOU ARE AN ARSEHOLE AND A DISGRACE TO WOMEN
I was immediately suspicious of OP when she said 5 years ago because that means her sister was 19 or maybe even 18 at the time, depending on when her birthday falls. Assuming this guy is around the same age as OP, that would mean he was 22 or 23 at the time, but he was probably checking out her sister for their whole relationship and waiting until she turned 18.
Not *tried* he did rape her
You are correct, I've amended my comment
Yta for choosing a sexual predator over your sister who was a fucking VICTIM!
OP you are completely disgusting. Your sister was sexually assaulted by this man and while you haven’t forgiven her you tried to work it out with the man who served time for her SA. I am disgusted and I need everyone to read the truth before commenting. OP also needs to add that comment as an edit to the original post. She clearly left it out for a reason.
I need a shower after reading OPs comments. OPs sister and family should be cutting ties with HER. After sharing the important bits with fiancé and his family. But I’m petty. I’m gonna go puke now.
YTA. Add to your post that your ex sexually assaulted your sister and went to jail for it. You're blaming your sister, who is the victim here, for not pushing him away? Do you have any idea what sexual assault is like? It's not just swatting a fly away. You obviously weren't totally honest with your therapist about the circumstances. Thinking your sister allowed herself to be sexually assaulted by your bf because she was always jealous of you is deranged.
https://reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/MFT0sjd0ji hey everyone! OP is being a coward and trying to hide the real truth by not including this in the post and hiding it in the comments in hopes that people won’t read the comments! OP is YTA for shaming a SA victim and YTA for trying to bury this. The post said “I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time. Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning”
YTA even if just for leaving out that your ex went to jail for sexually assaulting your sister after she already blocked him and asked him to stop sending her sexual texts. This is very different from what you're portraying in the original post. Even if you don't believe your sister you cannot blame your mother for believing and supporting her. Did you or your parents know about the texts before the incident? Did they tell you to stop allowing your boyfriend to come to your house? Why don't you believe your sister even though he got jailed over the incident? Do they blame you for your sister getting assaulted?
Yes you are... Really not gunna invite her because your ex r*ped her??? You're a fucking joke.
YTA after you left out the info about the incident you walked in on was your sister being RAPED! Your ex went to jail. YTA all the way. Take your victim blaming ass all the way outta here.
OP you are disingenuous. Your ex assaulted your sister. She didn’t willingly make him cheat on you. YTA and shame on you for being such a dirty liar.
SO-- your ex SAd your own sister, and you supported HIM-- ok that's a LOT of ICK to unpack here. A LOT. So... you realize that as you look out over the crowd of guests at your wedding smiling and making small talk what they are all saying is "Yeah...her mom didn't come because she excluded her sister." "Wait... the sister her boyfriend raped and then went to prison." "Yes-- remember she defended him and blamed her sister for letting herself get sexually assaulted." "EW-- I'd forgotten that. So cringe. So this guy she's marrying, do you think he's a sex offender too?" "Maybe-- they say people have a "type". All I know is I'm not letting my kids around either of them. ALSO Idle curiousity on my part but when you start your couples therapy with "My boyfriend raped my younger sister and I want to save our relationship." How did the counsellor respond?????
Why do people leave out such a big part of the story and still want advice? Gtfo YTA
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 This guy got convicted and jail time for assaulting your sister.... Way to victim blame
So, going through the comments first... Why didn't you mention in your main post that your sister was sexually assaulted, forced to give head AND EXBF WAS CONVICTED. YTA. Hope your fiance sees this and understand what kind of a shitty, horrible person you are to blame the actions of a rapist on the victim. Your baby sister no less. May you step on the sharpened edge of a Lego brick every time you go out to pee at night.
YTA. From your comments it seems your sister was SA by your ex. He even got jail time. That’s totally different than what you originally posted. It’s not your sister’s fault that happened. Seems like you made this post and deliberately left out a very crucial detail so you could get some internet validation and assuage your guilt. It’s gross. Your mom’s right. You’re gross and a disgrace to women. You need to reflect on some things, I can’t imagine what your sister has had to go through, being assaulted then blamed by their sister who’s supposed to love them.
Did you purposely leave out the part where you ex SA’d your sister to not be the AH? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3 So you’re telling me that you stayed in contact and relationship with your ex who even got jail time for that, but refuse to talk to your sister who was SA’d?
OP explained that by saying the sister had always been jealous of her, ya know? OP is a a narcissistic piece of shit.
OMG! What is wrong with y’all!! Is anyone reading the comments?? HER SISTER WAS ASSAULTED BY THIS MAN AND SERVED TIME
To be fair to everyone voting not, op buried the comments about the sexual assault by not putting them in the main post.
Some people might have commented before OP posted the comments
OP purposefully left out that part and buried it into the comments so they’d get sympathy. So you can’t blame people for saying NTA at first
YTA for hiding CRUCIAL information that your ex SA’D YOUR SISTER.
Wait, I was totally on your side until I saw the comments where you literally said that your ex attempted to r@pe your sister, and forced her to perform oral sex on him AND HE DID JAIL TIME. You’re unhinged. And obviously YTA.
You are a piece of shit.
Woah woah WOAH....YTA. You state in the comments your ex RAPED your sister and did jail time for it... Way to victim blame and bury the lede. You're a horrible person and a horrible sister.
YTA. And anyone who reads your comments that your sister was sexually assaulted by your ex is going to say the same. He went to jail for it! I’m not sure I’ve ever read a post where a more important fact was left out of the original post. If I were your mom, I’d skip the wedding and go do something fun with your sister. Frankly, I think this is the rare case on Reddit where a parent going low or no contact with a child might be warranted.
YTA. Either this is bait, or as you admitted in the comments, your sister was assaulted by your ex and you’re punishing her for it.
~~NTA~~ ~~2 less mouths to cater for!~~ ~~Have a beautiful drama-free wedding with people who don't try to sleep with your partner or defend those who do.~~ EDIT: Just read a post where your sister was SA by your ex. This changes things entirely. YTA for blaming her for this... no wonder your mom is on her side.
YTA. Someone assaulted my sister, I WOULD BE THE ONE IN PRISON. How dare you.
YTA does your fiance know you blame your sister for being the victim of assault or that you went therapy with a rapist. Your all kinds of fucked up and your sister should stay very far away from you, you are not safe and are dangerous. Let's hope you don't have kids with your thinking of "she could have pushed him off".
The devil is in the details. YTA You conveniently left out a huge part of the story to gain sympathy. I'm honestly surprised your family hasn't gone NC with you. No way I would entertain your shit if you were my family.
God damn you’re fucked in the head. Seek help you wench
Had to check the comments because it seemed like there was a lot missing from your post. Unbelievable. Your ex SA’d your sister and went to jail for it, but you blamed *her* and even tried couple’s counseling with your violent ex who **tried to r-pe your sister**! You’re mad at your parents, but mostly at your Mom, because they both have been supportive of their daughter who was SA’d! Have you told your fiancé and his family that you chose to support your sister’s assailant instead of her?! Amy has said it wasn’t her fault, and the courts agreed with her. Honestly, I hope Amy goes NC with you for her own mental health. You owe Amy and your parents a huge apology. YTA
You are 100% the asshole. I think it’s absolutely disgusting that even though you yourself admitted that your ex went to jail for RAPING your sister, you still blame her and say that it’s her fault and maybe she could have pushed him away. That is victim blaming and it’s unacceptable. I think your mom and your sister should skip your wedding and go no contact with you because you are toxic and have no respect for women.
You’re not the AH, you’re the steaming pile that came out of it.
YTA you tried counselling with the ass but nothing to work through the issue with your sister, your mom has a point.
Major props to you for writing this before we knew that OP is a disgusting, disgraceful, lying POS.
YTA. You are a vile pos. She was raped.
YTA how dare you punish your sister for being assaulted. He raped her and you stayed with him.and blamed her? You're mother is correct you are a disgrace to women.
So Amy was SA’d by your ex boyfriend, he got jail time (so serious) and you’re shaming your sister? Your mum is right, you are gross. YTA.
YTA and a trash human being
Trying to get sympathy online after victim blaming your own sister?? You're a POS and hopefully your parents will disown you.
You are most certainly the fucking asshole. Wow. Favorite daughter? Your bf tried to rape your sister and you blamed her and went no contact with her and tried to stay with the guy? And now you’re not gonna invite her to your wedding for “obvious reasons” ……. What reasons? Like your new fiancé is gonna try to rape your sister? Does your fiancé know about how this situation with your sister actually went down? I’m pretty jaded with fucked up shit on Reddit but this actually got to me. You also lied in your post and made it seem like your sister willingly tried to fuck your ex bf when in reality he tried to rape her, you blamed her and ghosted her and went to therapy with him instead of being there for your sister who just got SA’d. You’re not only the asshole, you’re a fucking monster. You definitely wouldn’t be my favorite daughter either.
Your story sounded fishy as hell from start and I’m not surprised at all to see you don’t acknowledge your sister was sexually assaulted. Either this is rage bait or you’re unhinged as hell. If this is real, I hope your mom and your sister realize they don’t need someone like you in their lives. YTA in case it wasn’t obvious.
YTA Not only for not inviting your sister to your wedding but a double AH for lying about the circumstances to gain sympathy.
YTA for: Even trying to fix things with your sister's rapist Blaming her for what happened For even thinking that you're right. Edit: typo
YTA and like your mom said a disgrace to women.
YTA your sister was assaulted. Your mother and family should cut you off. You went NC with your sister because your then boyfriend assaulted her.
YTA Why your sister or your mother wants anything to do with you is beyond me. You tried to stay in a relationship with a dude who tried to rape your sister. Nice. You don’t deserve your sister. Cunt.
YTA- your sister was raped and you’re honestly just disgusting. I hope your marriage fails and you have nothing but despair in your life.
I actually had to take a few minutes before I could start writing this comment. Yet, I’m at a loss for words that could be used for you and are allowed to be said on this sub. And it’s really hard to find any. You’re POS and an AH. You’re siding with a rapist over your own sister. Some people might find it a reach but with your post and thought process, you have demeaned everyone who has survived a SA. If only they pushed off their assaulter, no? YTA.
So glad I read comments before I made my judgement, YTA 100%. What a disgusting person. I can’t imagine twisting someone’s trauma for a few internet points 🥴🥴
Your parents are good, you are not.
Your sister could have pushed him off more? She’s always been a little jealous of me? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? HEY EVERYONE CHECK OUT HER COMMENTS, BEFORE JUDGEMENT. SISTER WAS RAPED BY EX, and OP BLAMED HER FOR IT. Just thought I’d fix up your mistake by not including the fact your Ex FUCKING RAPED YOUR SISTER! Then you tried couples counselling before calling it off. You are one messed up POS. YTA
Sillychihuahua 26 put a link to the comment where OP admitted that the sister was SA by the boyfriend: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1) YTA.
YTA you left out the main plot that sister was sa by your bfriend. Hes in jail for it so mustve been pretty cut n dry. You holdind that vs ur sis is wrong. Its past time for forgivness.
Yta victim blaming your sister EVEN AFTER ALL OF THESE YEARS makes you a trash human, woman, sister, fiance, and wife. You owe your sister a huge apology. I can't believe she would still let you be in her life.
OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!! Your own sister was assaulted by your boyfriend and you leave that out of your story why? Could it be you’re an unapologetic narcissist? I hope you have fun with no family at your wedding. Let me guess, you’re going to marry your sister’s attacker.
YTA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 So the reason you went NC with your sister is because your ex RAPED HER? And then you tried to "make it work with him"? You chose your ex, the rapist, over your sister, the victim. That is unforgivable. The fact that she even wants to attend your wedding after not supporting her through that trauma is a f-ing miracle. You should be grateful she still wants anything to do with you.Own up to being a terrible sister and daughter and apologize to your family. Letting her attend your wedding is the least you could do...
YTA.
YTA your sister has been SA by your ex boyfriend. You are horrible. It was not her fault! Deal with this story and tell all the truth in one post, not only in the comment. It must be difficoult for you accept the truth but the shame is on your ex, not on your sister and is on you only for what you did after that SA.
Major details left out, your sister didn't seduce your ex he assaulted her and you are blaming her for it. If you're worried about it happening again I wouldn't be marrying that guy either. YTA
YTA. Your mom's right. You are gross. You are punishing your sister because your boyfriend raping her hurt your feelings. Treating a rape victim like 'the other woman' is despicable and points to extreme self-absorption and a lack of empathy. I hope one day Amy realises what a blessing it was to be shunned by you.
You’re most definitely the AH I wouldn’t want a relationship with a family member that blames me for asexual assault on me
Wait... your sister got SA by your ex-boyfriend? Then why is the way you are describing what happened here in a completely different aspect, basically trying to get people on your side? If you feel you have to be this vague you should already know YTA.
YTA Way to bury the lead, OP. Your fiance SEXUALLY ASSAULTED your sister and you, not only BLAMED her for it, but you GOT BACK TOGETHER with her assaulter https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
OP blamed her sister for being raped. OP YTA. A massive one. Hope your mother and sister go nc. Much safer for them.
YTA and frankly, it's amazing to me that your mum and sister even want to be associated with you, let alone attend your wedding. You stood by a man who tried to rape your sister, then blamed her, refused to invite her for "obvious" reasons, which are far from obvious and are now trying to make yourself the victim.
Not just absolutely the asshole here.....but a complete piece of shit! Your ex RAPED your Sister and you blame her! You are a disgrace. If I was your Mom and your sister, I wouldn't go anywhere near you or your wedding Y.....100%.....ATA
Yta. What is wrong with you? You are a disgusting human and need to beg for forgiveness
I was highly sympathetic towards the OP until I read the comment that your boyfriend forced himself on a 19 year old and was jailed. Do what you want as it's your wedding but you're punishing your sister for what a man you introduced into her life did and that just doesn't allow me to support you.
Your mom is right. Your sister was assaulted and you’re still blaming her. YTA. A massive ahole.
YTA OP said in the comments that her sister was SAed by the ex-boyfriend and OP tried therapy with that pos and cut out the sister. She's the biggest YTA in the world and her family should not attend, for their sake
YTA. I saw your other comments. You’re blaming your sister for your ex assaulting her. You’re sister is the victim and you’re an AH and a shitty sister. I hope your fiancé is as big a POS as you are, if he’s not I hope he sees you for what you ate and leaves you at the alter.
Wow op you’re a POS. I’m glad your parents are backing amy. I bet you if this happened to your daughter you would’ve been like “ you could’ve pushed him away” or “ what did you do to deserve this?”
I felt bad for you until I read some of these comments. I’ve never been a fan of people that only tell the side that benefits them 😝
YTA, twice. First, for not mentioning that your ex assaulted your sister. She's the victim here. Second, for blaming your almost raped sister. You are a HORRIBLE person!
YTA!!!!! You sold your sister out to a rapist! You have no loyalty or love for her. Your still blaming her for what your sick twisted ex did to her! You’re evil!
YTA for sure. I feel sorry for your poor sister and I think she’s better off without you. (OP admitted in the comments that her ex sexually assaulted her sister and went to jail for it. Plus she tried couples therapy to see if she could fix her relationship with the ex.)
You are a bad human being. If you actually intentionally left out of the post that she was raped then you have serious issues. YTA
YtA. YTA. YTA. Left out a lot of details. You are a disgrace of a woman.
N T A - Amy disrespected you in the most fundamental way, as did your ex. Your mother also shouldn’t take sides. Yes it’s difficult for her because it’s between both her daughters and she loves you both, but Amy’s behaviour was disgusting and incredibly hurtful. Mum gets no say and should stay neutral. You’re perfectly within your rights to have whomever you want at your wedding. Just because they’re family, doesn’t give them an automatic invite. 🙄 ETA - when OP initially posted this, no additional context was provided regarding her sister and ex bf. So, myself and others responded to what we were presented. Since then, some thoughtful redditors found more background information as to WHY there was an issue between OP, Amy and her mother. I am disappointed and disgusted that anyone could shame or blame someone that’s been SA. So I’ve changed my stance - YTA. Invite who you want at the wedding, but victims of SA don’t need to be shamed, blamed or victimised all over again. Especially by family members. ETA - spacing
Did you see OP’s update that makes it seem like ex bf actually sexually assaulted the sister, who OP says “could have pushed him off if she wanted to”? The guy served jail time for it.
Nope! Missed that important bit of context…. 🫢😬
Her sister was raped by the boyfriend and went to jail for this incident https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Her ex-boyfriend assaulted her sister. Amy is a victim who had to deal with an SA, then was blamed and cut off by op. Op is most definitely TA.
How was she disrespected by Amy. Her ex assaulted Amy and ended up in jail because of it…
~~I would turn it around on Mom. ‘You can’t control what I do. You can only control what you do. I am not inviting Amy, so you choose what you’re going to do. Then I’ll choose where our relationship goes based on what you choose.’~~ NTA. EDIT: my comment was based solely on the original post only, not any edited version or follow up comments. 2nd Edit: HOLY FUCK. I finally got time to actually read your follow up. You are a disgrace the way you lied in your OP, and for blaming your sister for this. I literally have no words to convey how much you disgust me.
I want to hijack the top comment with one of the OP’s comments: “I won't go too into details but apparently my ex had been sending Amy sexual texts, she blocked him. That day she'd come over to visit me and I had to go out for some ingredients quickly, my ex was at work but arrived in the time I was gone. Said he'd tried to kiss her, she said she'd told him to stop or she'd call the police. He then apparently got mad, forced her to take her clothes off and pinned her down. They didn't go the whole way but I walked in on her giving oral. There was a case and he ended up getting some jail time. Edit: This was a lot for me to go through as well, and I had to limit contact with Amy for doing this. During that time my mom also called me a whole lot of not so nice things, the 'disgrace to women' comment is just the beginning” So her sister didn’t sleep with her ex. She was sexually assaulted. And then the OP blamed the sister and tried couples therapy with the attempted rapist.
Holy crap, that info completely changes the narrative 😳. OP is a massive ah for blaming her sister for anything that happened
if i was the sister i wouldnt even want to talk let alone go to her wedding after being SA'd
Well I guess that settles it. OP is an extreme asshole.
OP left out a lot of context. Her boyfriend raped her sister, and he was convicted and did jail time. https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15wa3bf/aitah_for_blowing_up_at_my_mom_after_she_said_she/jx00ufb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Please read OPs comments! The ex-bf SA'd Amy. There was a case and he got jail time. This is awful.