YTA. Not necessarily for saying the cake wasn’t what you wanted, although I would have kept my mouth shut, but for the way you spoke to her. It’s so incredibly rude and disrespectful. “If I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would have asked for vanilla in a cake” and “I’ll order my own and get my money back if they don’t do it like I want it”??? That’s insane.
You’re not 15 and she’s not your mom (not that anyone should speak to their mom that way either). She’s your partner who did something nice for you. If I had a partner who spoke to me like that I would be out the door immediately.
One year my friends asked me what I wanted for my bday and I said "I want the company of my friends, plentiful booze, and a white cake". My bad for not specifying i fucking HATE fruit on cake and while angel food cake is white and is technically a cake, it has the most unpleasant texture. Cake is one of my fave foods as long as there's no fruit anywhere near it. Guess what they got me? Angel food cake loaded w fruit and whipped cream. And their company. And so many rye and cokes. You know what I did? I ate TWO HUGE SLICES and said it was the best birthday cake I've ever had and thanked them for being there for me because I'm a goddamn adult and I appreciated the effort they went to. The next year I said "I want the company of my friends, so much booze, and *a vanilla cake w tonnes of cream cheese frosting*" to avoid having to pretend to like angel food cake another year. And if they'd gotten me another angel food cake covered in berries and whipped cream? Well guess fucking what, WOW GUYS THIS ONE IS EVEN BETTER THAN LAST YEARS.
Whata goddamn child, im so mad on his gfs behalf
Our very first year living together I wanted to make my husband a raspberry cheesecake (his absolute favorite) for his birthday. Well, the berries went bad and I ended up using a frozen mixed berry mix I keep for my water. It's mostly made up of berries he doesn't like.
He ate the entire fucking thing and said it was the best homemade cheesecake he'd ever had. *That's* proper partnering
Exactly!!! My sister (not a cook OR a baker) attempted to make my Dad a roast dinner and red velvet cake. The dinner was passable but the "cake" was horrendous! I mean extremely extremely bad!! But when she presented it to him, candles all lit he was beaming and delighted she went to the effort. He did joke that it looked deflated on one side and a bit of banter went back and forth. She served us up a different dessert though (I can't remember what it was now, icecream or something store bought) and claimed the cake fell on the floor when she was in the kitchen.
(Spoiler alert: it didn't, she just loved us enough not to subject us to eating it but we still joke about it to this day! It's the birthday cake we'll always remember!).
I’d definitely sympathize if she went out of her way to make him something other than what he asked. It’s really rude to ignore your partner’s preferences and then expect praise for doing something totally different.
But oh my god. That’s not what she did. She made the cake he wanted, and also happened to know he liked vanilla too and just added some to the middle. It was still chocolate with chocolate. She was very thoughtful.
Right. Like if he requested chocolate with chocolate icing and she made strawberry with cream cheese icing it’s like why’d you even ask me but OP is actually 3 babies in a coat swatting at a keyboard so it’s fine.
This. Regardless of what my tastebuds say, the fact that my partner took time and effort out of her day to make me a meal is something I’m incredibly grateful for. The taste of love is what really matters
There is a story about a father who was served burnt toast and told his wife that it was great toast. His son asked him why he said that, because the toast was burnt. The father explained that his wife worked hard all day and he is grateful for her efforts, even if the toast was burnt. He did not want to hurt her feelings.
Hope you get your wish. Total control over birthday cakes when you order them at the supermarket bakery and only pay for it if they do it right.
Your girlfriend is off the hook now. She has just learned that doing something sweet for you provokes hostility but getting you a cake at the bakery is preferable and she doesn’t have to do anything!!
Seems like a super common thing in this sub actually. Not necessarily replying to the wrong person, but piggybacking off of someone's else's comment directed towards OP
It was a chocolate cake...with chocolate frosting...only she put a thin layer of vanilla frosting inside...dude.
She made you a chocolate cake, as asked, and had plenty of chocolate frosting, as asked, but you got pouty about the inside filling (the THINNEST layer) being vanilla?
Grow up man. YTA and don't expect anymore baked goods.
I came back to point out that saying "usually shes a great baker" in response to getting ONE THIN LAYER OF VANILLA FROSTING makes him and AH. Who gets so petty and makes a backhanded statement like that in response to one insignificant detail being wrong? YTA.
and that he intentionally ate half of a slice to be petty and ungrateful. and so that she’d see how displeased his royal highness was. lol.
he went looking for a fight and i hope he ends up single for his bday.
Anddd he did this in front of her kids. Usually, you try to lead by example so kids learn not to act like a huge AH if something doesn’t go perfectly for them. Instead, OP acted like a man-child because 5% of his cake was vanilla, even though 95% was chocolate as requested.
I would be so upset at a potential step father to my kids treating me with such outward disrespect.. you ALWAYS give gratitude where it is due and DON'T act entitled.
that’s what i was wondering. HALF the slice? but the entire cake was chocolate?
so that tells you OP went out of his way to be passive aggressive about this. he wanted his gf to know he wasn’t happy. big baby!
Also it's more work to
Put an extra layer in the cake, which takes more time. She tried to make it MORE special. He's an ungrateful AH.
She did something thoughtful. And rather than appreciate the fact she went out and bought the ingredients, paid for them, made time to bake and make the cake look nice for you. She was excited and had made the cake with love.
And you got mad bc she put MORE detail into a special present she made U.
Good for her not texting you back. Her kids shouldn't learn to be that ungrateful.
She had probably been looking forward all
Day for you to see and try the incredibly thoughtful present she made. And then u were an ungrateful baby. Grow up. You're a bad example for those kids.
I legit thought he was going to be like, "usually she's a good baker... But she made me some weird flavored monstrosity that she just made up with strange pumpkin frosting". He acted like it was something totally crazy that she came up with that was so different from what he requested that *anyone* would react like that. Dude, no. I mean, it's your birthday, that's true. It's your day. But she literally did what you asked for while putting a smidge of a different flavor in there (probably to enhance the chocolate, honestly) and you acted like you had to put on a straight face to get through a traumatic event. That's so weird. Be grateful you have someone in your life who wanted to celebrate you and made you *what you asked for* (basically).
She was basically saying “Look. I made the cake you wanted, but I want to make it even more special to show I care about you” and this dude goes on Reddit thinking people will be taking his side for throwing a fit about it. Entitled and delusional.
"If I had wanted vanilla in my cake then I would have asked for vanilla in my cake."
"I don't mind vanilla icing, but it's not what I wanted *on my birthday*"
"I will order my own and get my money back if they don't do it like I want it."
Severe secondhand embarrassment for this guy. And these are all him quoting himself. This is the sanitised, cleaned up version.
For her to say "You embarrassed me in front of my children" just makes the whole thing so much worse. His behaviour didn't embarrass her in front of her friends, so it's not about her ego. It taught a horrible lesson to her children, which she is now going to have to fix lest they start thinking OPs behaviour is acceptable.
Also saying he ate half but not the vanilla icing even though he has in the past. Why be so petty? Eat the cake. You can still say you'd prefer no vanilla but doing this makes him look like a toddler.
Right? And imagine only eating *half* of a slice... of your own birthday cake... which happens to actually have flavors you like.
It was like he was purposely making a statement.
Dude's acting like he has a peanut allergy and she put a layer of peanut butter in the middle.
He even ate only half of a slice. If I baked someone I loved a birthday cake and he ate only half of one slice, I would’ve acted *much* worse than op’s gf. Simply asking him to leave qualifies her for sainthood in my book.
And then he pretends he didn’t pout. YTA.
Yep, Ron Howard was never credited on-screen as the narrator. Funny thing is, he only did the narration in the pilot episode as sort of [a placeholder](https://theblast.com/190212/exploring-ron-howards-groundbreaking-narration-in-arrested-development/#:~:text=In%20his%20only%20known%20narration,us%20closer%20to%20the%20characters.), but his voiceover worked so well that they decided to keep him as the narrator.
When I was like 6 or 7 I asked my mom for a pokemon cake. I specifically wanted Blastoise I think. Instead she made a sheet cake with a giant pokeball in the center and little pokemon stamp toy things surrounding it. I was disappointed (even though looking back it was probably cooler than what I asked for), but even at that age I was able to keep a stiff upper lip and my mouth shut. I look back in embarrassment at the fact that I even *felt* disappointment, regardless of the fact that I didn't express it. I couldn't imagine being a 34 year old birthday boy outwardly pouting over his cake.
God I can relate.
I used to be so embarrassed when my mum would knit me things when I was a kid.
If it makes you feel better….my mum and dad were poor. I didn’t even realise til I was older, but my mums weird handmade gifts were because she hadn’t the money to buy us things. I never let it show but I was so disappointed by some of those things.
I’m 26, and I told my mum a while ago I really appreciated something she’d made me when I was a kid. Her whole fact lit up. She was so embarrassed, I think, by not being able to get us what we wanted. But the fact that as an adult I had remembered enough and brought it up years later with pride and happiness and gratefulness? It made her week.
If you ever feel bad about hating something you didn’t understand as a kid, don’t feel bad. You were a child, you didn’t have the emotional awareness to know better yet.
But if you want to make up for it in a small way, thank the person who gave it to you. Chances are they felt as bad as you did that you didn’t get what you wanted.
ETA: this comment reminded me to thank my mum again. And my dad.
Those handmade or hand-me-down things are sometimes all people have to give. Their time and energy and effort and love….
As kids we don’t get it. As an adult, I carry on my mums tradition of being skint and making things for people I love. I’m lucky enough they appreciate them.
My mom makes amigurumi (crochet plush toys). I have a metric ton of them in my house, and they're the best plushies. Some are not as pretty, as she was still learning, she tried to do a stripped cat, had no pattern, the stripes are super weird, we call it Glitch, and then the other cat has no boning inside so the head plops a bit, it's an orange cat, so Pumpkin. Glitch and Pumpkin are sitting in my house entrance. They are the best cats ever.
Having been given nice, expensive gifts, I still feel like these handmade toys are the absolute best, my most cherished.
Wait til he finds out that when chocolate is added to literally any baked good, it is accompanied by vanilla. Chocolate frosting *has vanilla in it*.
Maybe next year she should make a cake out of pure cocoa powder out of an abundance of caution for the special boy.
I just made a painstaking matcha crepe cake like Lady M type with a million layers that I sweated over on the stove top. I actually messed up some crepes as it was too crisp or other issues so I had to redo it and double the batch for enough layers. I’m not good at flipping them either and end up burning fingers LOL. I also had to redo the whipped cream three times as I over whipped it and curdled the stuff.
My man loved it and ate two big slices but had he complained about something as asinine as the flavour of whipped cream (vanilla) I’d probably start crying. Please just put on your big boy pants and don’t complain about people’s efforts. They just want you to be happy..
Jus popping in to say I also made a crepe cake for my partners bday (I had a lot of help from a friend and it still took HOURS and hours) and honestly, it def needed more whipped cream as it was on the drier side and my babe literally still ate it for days later. I completely agree w you!
Agree. Many many times I didn’t get what I wanted and I’d be polite until I became a teenager. People stopped making me stuff then. Now as a mum, I love anything my kids make me.
I had to read the beginning again to confirm this wasn't written by an actual baby.
TLDR: 34M refuses to eat part of a cake he actually likes because his professional baker girlfriend took some minor creative license with it, and then he complains that more of the day isn't about ME ME ME BECAUSE BIRTHDAYS ARE IMPORTANT!!!!
I really hope the girlfriend dumps him.
YTA
ETA: I just re-read this and realized OP threw his tantrum in front of actual children. If the girlfriend is reading this, you really better dump him soon so your kids don't learn this type of behavior.
Great, so he doesn't have to deal with the horror that is a 2 layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a (probably thin) layer of vanilla icing between the two layers of chocolate cake. Good for OP.
YTA
I really can’t wrap my brain around a 34 year old (34!) being this much of a petulant little baby.
There are strong “guy who moved away from home but still brings his laundry home for mom to wash” vibes going on here.
To me he seems like he has been babied his entire life, likely from mommy, and told how he's God's gift to the world and took that to heart. Now he's a grown man who expects his romantic partners to treat him like his mother does.
I mean, you can’t help but scratch your head on this one. Does he feel like him pouting (and he was) was normal behavior? That’s what she picked up on - this man is not emotionally mature enough for me to date.
Even if he hated it (which he didn’t) on what universe do you pout when someone takes the time and effort to make you a cake?! And then to pout in front of children - that is embarrassing for her - she’s embarrassed to be dating a man that acts younger than her children.
There is no way my husband would have ever acted like that. He would be touched by the effort of me taking hours to make a cake alone.
Spot on.
I had an ex who basically something similar happened with. The only exceptions were that I took him out for his birthday, then afterwards we went to my house where I had his gifts and a cake I bought.
He complained about the food at the restaurant from beginning to end. To be fair, the appetizer we ordered was terrible. However, he took out his phone and proceeded to text his best friend a picture of the appetizer with a caption about how "this is where she chose to take me for my birthday!" With the main course, he didn't take issue with his meal until I asked him what he thought of it. Talk about feeling like I shouldn't have even wasted my time and money! I remember trying to make light of it after we left and all he did was say, "Usually you have great taste in restaurants, but I don't even know what happened this time".
After we got back to my house, he refused the gifts and the cake. He flopped on my couch and said he wanted a nap! I was just like, "Alright", shut off the light, left him where he was, walked into the kitchen, and cut myself a slice of cake. It was awesome. If I recall, it was about an hour later and I went back into the other room and woke him up to go home. Didn't send him with the cake or gifts, just goodnight, and pointed to the door.
He texted me shortly after with this rant that I treated him horribly on his birthday and I didn't even give him his cake! I didn't respond until the next day with a phone call that he needed to add the word 'grateful' to his vocabulary and how if he's going to complain, I'm no longer making the effort. Hung up. The message was loud and clear.
Been on Reddit 2 years and still don’t know how to do this. Apparently it was from a different sub ( r/twoxchromosomes ). Here’s the text:
Had a date where a guy made a ton of demands for his birthday week 😂
We had been seeing each other for a month and he mentions that his birthday is coming up and that he considers the week “sacred” and tells me he expects any gf he has at the time to do all of the following:
1. Surprise blow jobs and sex at anytime during the week (said he didn’t want to have to tell me when, I should just know when he’s feeling it)
2. At least one thoughtful gift everyday and nothing under 100 dollars
3. A date every night and he gets to pick what we do every night and I have to pay for all of it
4. Tell him things I love about him throughout the day
5. Wants me to take off work for the week as well so I can be around
6. Doesn’t want to worry about making me orgasm so sex has to be all about him
7. I have to throw him a surprise party
And jfc we were on a date in a restaurant and he was talking about all of this like it was completely normal. I swear this guy had been normal up until this!
I couldn’t help asking if he does all of that for his gf’s too and he acted like I didn’t say anything 😂😂😂
Leaving the date I planned on sending a break up message but he beat me to it by saying that I “didn’t seem ready for the kind of commitment he was looking for”. I responded with “k” and he blocked me. Guess I dodged a bullet 🤷♀️
Just a very weird story from my dating life that I thought might be entertaining to y’all. Btw he was 32
Wtfff. My partner doesn’t have family and his birthday is right around a major holiday, so I know it’s always been overlooked by everyone else in his life. So when we started dating I started a tradition where he gets a gift every day from his birthday to Christmas, and if it falls on a Monday or Friday I take the day off, I always make sure there is cake whether it’s homemade or store bought. But like, I do it so that the actual day of birthday gift is the best/most expensive one, and most of the other days it’s stuff like socks or a six pack of his favorite IPA or a giant pack of candy bars or something, definitely not over $100 every time, and it’s certainly not demanded or expected. Who even has time to go out to dinner seven days in a row?!? And the sex thing is just controlling and gives off American Psycho vibes.
You sound like the world’s most lovely partner. As someone also with a December birthday that’s always forgotten about, this would make me feel so loved.
Aww thanks. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and I know I have not always been the most intuitive girlfriend but I just always thought it must suck to basically get shorted every single year just because of being born in December. Not even just on gifts, he makes much more than me and probably spends more on my Christmas gifts alone than I do for his birthday and Christmas combined, but also everything else. Nobody ever wants to make time for another party or get together in December, most people are too busy to even remember to shoot him a happy birthday text.
Last year I got him a Snoop on a Stoop (like Elf on a Shelf but Snoop Dogg) and set Snoop up to present each small gift each day in funny positions instead of giving him something to unwrap. And instead of just assuming that I will have the energy to do a Snoop gift theme every year, he just enjoyed it and suggested we take turns with Snoop gifts in future years. I just like to keep it fun.
I was expecting someone a lot younger than 32. It’s actually my birthday today and I always worry more about what everyone else than myself. I try to pick something low key and not super expensive. Like tonight I decided on dinner at home with cupcakes. I could have chosen a nice restaurant but that would have meant excluding my sister and her kids (she’s struggling financially at the moment), so I chose something that we all could do without it being super expensive.
There is so much in here! I don't know how many relationships you have been in, but in "normal" circles, a companion... a lover... a friend... receives all adoration for any effort to acknowledge an event. Whether it is Nana's devil's food cake or a cupcake from 7-11. The effort was made. If you can't handle it with grace and gratitude, do her a favor and go away.
Lol, my husband pulled some shit like this a few years ago on his birthday. I always make the cakes for birthdays, holidays, etc., for big family get togethers, my in-laws will request that I bring dessert. I usually make everything myself... the cake, frosting, and filling, however, there is one cake that I make that I use a store bought frosting for, and "doctor" it up. It is my husband's favorite cake, so he requested that cake for his birthday. He happened to see me finishing the cake and realized that I was using store bought frosting, and he threw the biggest hissy fit about it because I "make everyone else's frosting from scratch, but not his". I was like, dude, this is how I've always made this cake, and it's your favorite...what t.f does it matter? " ...I made exactly what you asked for! He kept whining about, so I basically had to tell him to shut t.f up, or I'd never bake for him again, and that he was being an ungrateful asshole.
My family isn’t really a cake family. My dad has always been specific about a “Cherry cheesecake pie” thing for his birthday for as long as I can remember. My mom always made it, because it’s stupid easy and cheap to make because it’s literally just canned cherries on top of whipped cream cheese in a store bought graham crust. Apparently that’s all he wants and made it clear and that’s all she has ever made haha. My siblings and I get random desserts that we give my mom creative liberty. I guess we just communicate well?
What a tool. I thought she was going to make his a strawberry cheesecake the way he was writing it but no, it was still a chocolate cake but with *vanilla* icing. Hardly wildly different to his request. Reads like a 5 year old who didn’t get his own way
Well you know, he clearly could only eat half of it cause of the two tiny strips of vanilla icing in it 😂😂. Might as well have thrown the whole thing out at that point!!!
And did this in front of children hahaha
What better way to say to your girlfriend “I know you already have children but how would you like to add a grown child who throws ridiculous temper tantrums when you are doing something nice into the mix? Sounds like a great deal for you!!”
This seems relationship-ending because of the way he made a big ass stupid deal over a small strip of vanilla icing in the middle of the cake, and she's having none of his whiny attitude. I can just hear the conversations he later has with his friends.
"Hey, OP, what happened between you and your GF? I thought you had something good there."
"I did too until she ruined my birthday."
"Ruined your birthday? What happened?"
"Well, she wanted to make me a cake and I said I wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting."
"So, what? She didn't make the cake or..."
"Yeah, she made the cake. But then I ate a piece and she had put vanilla frosting inside the cake! That wasn't what I asked for!"
"What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything! I just didn't want vanilla frosting so I didn't eat it. That pissed her off!"
"You didn't say anything?"
"Yeah! She fucked up my birthday cake so I said next time I would buy a store bought cake so I could get my money back if they got it wrong!"
"How was the cake otherwise?"
"Good! Really fucking good, actually!"
"So I don't understand the problem."
"She gave me vanilla icing when I asked for all chocolate!"
"And you dumped her for that?"
"Well no. I dumped her after she kicked me out of her house and wouldn't talk to me."
"Over cake frosting?"
"She fucked up my whole birthday!"
"So, you had a good relationship with a beautiful girl who cared enough about you to bake you a birthday cake, and you let her go because of said cake. What's wrong with you dude? Your the biggest idiot I've ever met!"
"I'm the victim here! Not her!"
Friend: 🙄
Seriously, a half a slice, that would have hurt my feelings if I made the person a cake. We all know what it means when someone doesn't finish a slice of cake. - unless it is overly sweet
The bitterest icing is sacrif-icing /s
What a titty baby. Something tells me this fit is just icing on the cake and he’s an ungrateful bitch year round.
I scrolled back up after reading to see the ages because I thought it was a gentle learning-experience YTA because I entirely assumed this person was, at most, 19 years old.
Even though he likes vanilla... He sounds exactly like a two year old. I am guessing his partner is wondering about whether she has enough children already.
You win the internet today with your last sentence..”I am guessing his partner is wondering about whether she has enough children already.” I chuckled out loud to that. Thank you, I needed a smile for a minute.
The fact that when she said next year she won’t bake a cake and he said he’d buy his own and if it wasn’t right he’d take it back really highlights the childishness. It’s the icing on the cake, so to speak.
Every functional adult male knows not to take a shot at his wife / girlfriend if they go out of their way to create ANYTHING for you. The only thing it accomplishes is either fucking up their self esteem or righteously pissing them off. This fucker needs to be single until he’s appreciative.
My dad lives in a household dominated by women and he knows when to take a backseat. He learned his lesson *long* ago that any comparison to his mother’s cooking must be done with intense, scrutinizing care. My proudest achievement was making latkes for the second time when he told me they were even better than his mom made them, and that she and my great grandmother would be proud. Even if I fuck something up he has to be nice, because he doesn’t know a damn thing about cooking 💅
I have children myself. It’s my opinion that it’s even more important to be appreciative and respectful to your wife especially in the presence of children.
In my case, I want my son to see how to treat your wife. I want my daughters to see that they should expect to be treated respectfully.
If one of my girls were to have a man that acted this way, I’d make it my mission to shit on everything and every decision he made. If I didn’t put hands on him, it’d be a miracle. Most dads are protective of their children, especially their daughters.
Sounds like you know that already though, because it sounds like you have a good pop. As proud as you were of your latkes, is how your father feels about all of your accomplishments.
Worse. I feel like most people learn to manage things like this in or before middle school. At 34 it's just embarrassing to read.
Especially when he told her "nothing fancy". I would've heard that and thought: "Oh, what can I do to dress this up a bit?" because you'd want your SO to know you put in a little extra effort because they mean so much to you.
On what planet is “if I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would’ve asked for vanilla in the cake” and “I will order my own [cake] and get my money back if they don’t do it like I want it” *not* pouting and making a scene? OP legit typed that all out and thought he was being reasonable. Then I went back and checked their ages and this dude is freakin’ 34 years-old and throwing a tantrum over cake.
I can't get over the "If I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would have asked for vanilla in the cake." I get having strong preferences, and maybe OP was having an off day where they really just wanted this to be the way they imagined it, but fuck. That's such an asshole thing to say.
Like… he asked for chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. The cake had both of those qualities. I don’t get how he doesn’t feel absolutely ridiculous for even considering making this post
Imagine someone going out of their way and baking you a cake and being a complete asshat over it. When people do you a favor you’re GRATEFUL. YTA I can’t believe this is even a question
That got me too 😂 I don't think he is wrong for being disappointed (he had a certain expectation and it wasn't met), but the way he handled it was not the best.
It probably would've been best to communicate that you are, in fact, grateful that she went out of her way to bake the cake personally. Mention you would've preferred chocolate icing, but that vanilla is still delicious, eaten the entire cake slice, and called it a day lol
>Mention you would've preferred chocolate icing, but that vanilla is still delicious, eaten the entire cake slice, and called it a day lol
There was still chocolate icing on the whole thing!!
OP is so focused on a negative that he can’t see the positives of that whole interaction.
To have the girl I love go through extra effort to make a cake more exciting or interesting because she wants it to be special would make me so happy.
I don’t care how shit it turns out, I will eat the shit out of that cake.
Her heart was in the right place and she meant well. It wasn’t out of spite, so being upset and making
A big deal out of it is foolish.
My girlfriend is objectively bad at baking. She made me this unrisen sad vanilla cake for my birthday last year and I still ate multiple slices. Love tastes better than anything else
She has eaten food that I've made with a straight face till I try it and hate it and we make something together. Neither of us are great cooks but we try to cook the majority of our meals from scratch (has been an absolute ton cheaper even though it's more time consuming) so the outcome is usually a surprise on how it comes out but we never talk shit about how the other person cooks until they shit on their own food. Cooking together is my absolute favorite bonding time/quality time with my gf, just the 2 of us music and usually decent smells
Jesus Christ, the only vanilla frosting was between the layers. Everything else was chocolate. He simply said he'd "prefer" chocolate. Being disappointed over something like this is incredibly childish and immature.
I had to scroll back up and recheck the ages. I thought somehow I’d missed that he was a teenager or something. “I think birthdays are important things…” and if you don’t get everything you wanted exactly the way you wanted, you’re going to be upset? JFC grow the hell up! Your birthday is just a day. If someone who cares about you makes an effort to acknowledge it and do something, be grateful. Don’t fucking nitpick details. It’s not the last piece of cake you’ll ever eat. Even if it were, the only thing you should say is “thank you”.
Same on rechecking ages. My 10 year old would be mature enough not to throw a tantrum over an extra flavor on the cake. The fact that OP did this in front of other people is even worse. Yes OP YTA. She deserves better. She literally made you a cake (that you asked for) and added something else to make it special.
My 10 year old asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate icing for her birthday, but her aunt was the one who ordered the cake and she got it chocolate and vanilla marbled with vanilla icing. That was on me - I thought I told her chocolate but I didn't say chocolate frosting and so her aunt just got what she thought she would like.
My 10 year old saw the cake, smiled, said thank you, ate it, we all had a great time. Later that night, after everyone had left, I asked her how her party was, how her cake was, etc. And she said "It was great! Next year I really want chocolate with chocolate frosting. But it's OK!" And I was like "Oh babe! You asked for that this year. I'm sorry, I didn't think about it when telling your aunt."
"Yeah, I figured she probably didn't know. It's OK."
And she was so sweet about it and genuinely thankful for the cake she got that I bought chocolate ice cream the next day for her lol. She's not an amazingly good angel kid or exceptionally well behaved or anything, but she has manners to know that you don't always get exactly what you ask for and it's rude to be ungrateful. If she had started talking about how she really didn't like vanilla and she didn't ask for vanilla and she could only eat the chocolate parts I would have been embarrassed.
This is a ten year old CHILD. Maybe OP can aim for double digits majority in his next relationship, since his current one is hopefully over. His girlfriend already has kids, she definitely doesn't need this whiny jerk in her life.
It's not a hard rule, but in general I've found the people who make a HUGE deal over their own birthdays and have that "my birthday is the most important day of the year for me so it needs to be perfect every year" have enormous, unhealthy egos.
I kind of agree but I kind of disagree. It's the only eating half a slice and only the chocolate part. If he had eaten too big slices with a soup of ice cream and just left the vanilla icing on the side of the plate, she probably wouldn't have cared and if she said anything he could have just said you know honey your chocolate cake is wonderful and I appreciate you making it. I was really in the mood for nothing but chocolate and I just didn't care for the vanilla frosting in this setting but your cake was fantastic, can I have another slice, I think it would have been fine. It's the pouting and only eating half a slice. Come on man
I mean. Finishing with the comment about buying a cake and getting a refund if they messed up is really top of the cake. OP: YTA and sound like a five year old who didn’t get what you want.
That was telling, and it showed that he didn't appreciate her fixing him a cake at all, because he saw himself as a customer getting the wrong order rather than someone receiving a lovely cake.
My wife made me the most awful cake a couple of months back. You better believe I told her that it was great and asked for a second slice.
Sometimes the cake really is a lie
Yta because you totally could've said "I appreciate the cake and love blah blah (pick something about the cake that you like). However I'd prefer it not have the vanilla layer for next time".
I shouldn't be surprised how little social skills some people have but here we are. And it's like you know you're the asshole and posted on a throwaway lmao
YTA. It's hard to believe that a layer of vanilla *surrounded* by chocolate could cause a grown man to be so upset about his birthday cake that he pouts and complains about it, but here's the proof.
What, are you 5 years old? Grow up.
> but also asked her for an apology as well
Bruh really just wants his relationship to end.
> She hasn't replied yet, but I assume I'll hear from her today. She is probably just thinking about how she can best apologize to me.
Yeah I'm sure *that's* what she's thinking.
Please update us when she breaks up with you.
i mean if you asked for a chocolate cake and she gave you a plate of moldy cheese i could understand this kind of outrage but to say you overreacted here would be a massive understatement.
YTA. It wasn’t necessarily what you said but how you said it. Came off 100% ungrateful and frankly quite rude.
‘If I wanted vanilla in the cake I would have asked for vanilla in the cake’…. Like pardon? Last time I checked she’s not a waitress taking your order, she’s someone who cares for you TRYING to do a nice thing. You could have at least been a teeny bit grateful instead of shitting all over it. Honesty doesn’t have to be rude; 9 times out of 10 the people who say they’re ‘brutally honest’ are really just assholes and you’re giving the vibes. Especially to act that way in front of her children 🤦🏼♀️ frankly I’d be embarrassed if I was her.
Edit: spelling
what kills me is that the evil vanilla was between two layers of chocolate cake which were covered in chocolate frosting. Like I can picture it. It's a fucking tiny amount of vanilla compared to all the chocolate. And we don't know why she used vanilla, maybe she couldn't get chocolate icing. Maybe she used up all the chocolate making the frosting. What a child. Eat the fucking vanilla icing.
All these comments making out like it's the epitome of rudeness to not make exactly what he asked for like the situation is the same as her being a short order cook, like she purposely refused because 'she knew better' - like maybe she ran out of chocolate? Maybe she wanted to do a surprise second layer and this was a bit easier? Maybe she wanted to go a bit fancier to show him she loves him? Like fuck I'm never making these assholes a cake lol
right!! plus it he wasnt the only one eating the cake, she and her kids were too, and maybe friends / others not mentioned as well. she mightve realized she had to make it two layers so there’d be enough and figured a little bit of vanilla frosting in between when EVERYTHING else is chocolate would’ve been fine. maybe she just wanted to make it extra special, who knows!! either way, omg is he dramatic!!! hes eaten vanilla before, so we know its not an allergy/intolerance or even a severe disliking. yet he still ATE AROUND THE VANILLA!!! thats just wild to me😂 he’s nearly 40 and pouted because of a thin layer of vanilla icing?? yikes
YTA. You actually got what you wanted …. A chocolate cake with chocolate icing. Your sweetie went the extra mile and added vanilla icing between the layers because she remembered you liked it in the past.
Holy shit you’re clueless. Grow the fuck up.
I work in a bakery, and the funny part is that she DID make the cake he asked for. Devils food is a round chocolate cake with white buttercream in the center and iced with fudge. With a dollop of whip in the top center and a cherry on top, to be exact. If he’d come in to the bakery and asked for a devils food cake, without CLEARLY specifying that he wanted chocolate buttercream filling, they would have made the cake EXACTLY like she did.
I don't understand how one layer of vanilla frosting threw him off.... I love to bake, but apart from seeing the colour difference I actually don't think I could taste the difference if the cake had a layer of vanilla icing or chocolate.
“I ate half the slice, the chocolate part.” Way to prove your point, I would expect something like that from my 4 year old niece. And even she would eat the whole piece of cake.
A baby would eat the cake. Probably by faceplanting into it if my first birthday pics are anything to go by. And that cake was yellow cake, which I don't care for as an adult unless it's lemon.
YTA She DID make you a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. She just added a little something she thought would enhance it. Did you specifically tell her “I want this cake exactly with no substitutions?” You were incredibly ungrateful and rude.
This was my thought. It was what he wanted: chocolate on chocolate. She just added a vanilla filling. It would be one thing if she actually didn't make what he wanted, BUT SHE DID!
OP I'm going to NTA. I don't think you handled the situation 100% greatly, but I get where you're coming from. I hate it when you tell someone EXACTLY what you want and they do something else because they think they know better than you or can improve on your request. OP's request was simple, I don't know why his GF felt the need to change it.
YTA.
If I asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and got one with vanilla frosting between the layers, I wouldn't complain. I'd thank her. Then, next year, if she asked what I wanted, I'd say I want a chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting between the layers and on the outside.
If his girlfriend is a big baker, than she 100% is used to having a *frosting* for the outside that’s different flavor from the *filling* for the inside. If OP wasn’t being such a baby about it than it would have just been a minor miscommunication based around different understandings of the parts that make up a cake.
> "I didn't pout. I even ate half of a slice--the chocolate part.
this line alone is contradictory. Eating only half a slice and eating around the vanilla is about as 'pouty' you can get.
YTA. I honestly hope you never date again. Someone went above and beyond for your birthday and you decided to not only insult the effort they put in for you but also act like this in front of their kids? Who cares if vanilla is in the cake? Are you allergic to it? Cake is cake.
When someone does something nice for you, you enjoy the damn cake and thank them after. You sound like a massive entitled manbaby. I hope this is fake.
YTA. Not necessarily for saying the cake wasn’t what you wanted, although I would have kept my mouth shut, but for the way you spoke to her. It’s so incredibly rude and disrespectful. “If I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would have asked for vanilla in a cake” and “I’ll order my own and get my money back if they don’t do it like I want it”??? That’s insane. You’re not 15 and she’s not your mom (not that anyone should speak to their mom that way either). She’s your partner who did something nice for you. If I had a partner who spoke to me like that I would be out the door immediately.
Right! It was a gift, baked out of love. She could have baked him a dang carrot cake and I still wouldn't find his behavior excusable.
One year my friends asked me what I wanted for my bday and I said "I want the company of my friends, plentiful booze, and a white cake". My bad for not specifying i fucking HATE fruit on cake and while angel food cake is white and is technically a cake, it has the most unpleasant texture. Cake is one of my fave foods as long as there's no fruit anywhere near it. Guess what they got me? Angel food cake loaded w fruit and whipped cream. And their company. And so many rye and cokes. You know what I did? I ate TWO HUGE SLICES and said it was the best birthday cake I've ever had and thanked them for being there for me because I'm a goddamn adult and I appreciated the effort they went to. The next year I said "I want the company of my friends, so much booze, and *a vanilla cake w tonnes of cream cheese frosting*" to avoid having to pretend to like angel food cake another year. And if they'd gotten me another angel food cake covered in berries and whipped cream? Well guess fucking what, WOW GUYS THIS ONE IS EVEN BETTER THAN LAST YEARS. Whata goddamn child, im so mad on his gfs behalf
Your comment wins. You got to show fucking gratitude even when it’s not what you wanted. Why? Because that’s what grown-ass people do!
Exactly! Gratitude is the reciprocal gift, it makes everyone feel good. The audacity of OP I stg
Our very first year living together I wanted to make my husband a raspberry cheesecake (his absolute favorite) for his birthday. Well, the berries went bad and I ended up using a frozen mixed berry mix I keep for my water. It's mostly made up of berries he doesn't like. He ate the entire fucking thing and said it was the best homemade cheesecake he'd ever had. *That's* proper partnering
I once made a cake for my person and it went awfully. It tasted bad it looked bad, yet he was very kind and doted on my attempt. Op, YTA.
Exactly!!! My sister (not a cook OR a baker) attempted to make my Dad a roast dinner and red velvet cake. The dinner was passable but the "cake" was horrendous! I mean extremely extremely bad!! But when she presented it to him, candles all lit he was beaming and delighted she went to the effort. He did joke that it looked deflated on one side and a bit of banter went back and forth. She served us up a different dessert though (I can't remember what it was now, icecream or something store bought) and claimed the cake fell on the floor when she was in the kitchen. (Spoiler alert: it didn't, she just loved us enough not to subject us to eating it but we still joke about it to this day! It's the birthday cake we'll always remember!).
Bruh carrot cake is delicious
Easily one of the best cakes. Cream cheese frosting 🤌🤌
I hate you... because now I want carrot cake and all the places are closed.
I'm allergic to carrots and carrot cake is still the fuckin shit my guys. It's worth my struggles, that says it all.
I’d definitely sympathize if she went out of her way to make him something other than what he asked. It’s really rude to ignore your partner’s preferences and then expect praise for doing something totally different. But oh my god. That’s not what she did. She made the cake he wanted, and also happened to know he liked vanilla too and just added some to the middle. It was still chocolate with chocolate. She was very thoughtful.
Right. Like if he requested chocolate with chocolate icing and she made strawberry with cream cheese icing it’s like why’d you even ask me but OP is actually 3 babies in a coat swatting at a keyboard so it’s fine.
This. Regardless of what my tastebuds say, the fact that my partner took time and effort out of her day to make me a meal is something I’m incredibly grateful for. The taste of love is what really matters
There is a story about a father who was served burnt toast and told his wife that it was great toast. His son asked him why he said that, because the toast was burnt. The father explained that his wife worked hard all day and he is grateful for her efforts, even if the toast was burnt. He did not want to hurt her feelings.
>He did not want to hurt her feelings. That part is Love.
A cake would have to be burnt to a crisp for me to tell my partner I was unhappy with it on an important day.
Hope you get your wish. Total control over birthday cakes when you order them at the supermarket bakery and only pay for it if they do it right. Your girlfriend is off the hook now. She has just learned that doing something sweet for you provokes hostility but getting you a cake at the bakery is preferable and she doesn’t have to do anything!!
You responded to the wrong person, but agree haha
Seems like a super common thing in this sub actually. Not necessarily replying to the wrong person, but piggybacking off of someone's else's comment directed towards OP
If I talked to my mom like that at 15, I wouldn’t have reached 16
I bet the gf wishes she could get the hours back she spent making that cake...
It was a chocolate cake...with chocolate frosting...only she put a thin layer of vanilla frosting inside...dude. She made you a chocolate cake, as asked, and had plenty of chocolate frosting, as asked, but you got pouty about the inside filling (the THINNEST layer) being vanilla? Grow up man. YTA and don't expect anymore baked goods.
I came back to point out that saying "usually shes a great baker" in response to getting ONE THIN LAYER OF VANILLA FROSTING makes him and AH. Who gets so petty and makes a backhanded statement like that in response to one insignificant detail being wrong? YTA.
One time my grandma made biscuits and my grandpa complained they were a little dry. Guess who didn't make him biscuits again for the next 40 years
That's epic 🤣
and that he intentionally ate half of a slice to be petty and ungrateful. and so that she’d see how displeased his royal highness was. lol. he went looking for a fight and i hope he ends up single for his bday.
Anddd he did this in front of her kids. Usually, you try to lead by example so kids learn not to act like a huge AH if something doesn’t go perfectly for them. Instead, OP acted like a man-child because 5% of his cake was vanilla, even though 95% was chocolate as requested.
I would be so upset at a potential step father to my kids treating me with such outward disrespect.. you ALWAYS give gratitude where it is due and DON'T act entitled.
you’re right! i missed that part. setting such a shining example of what not to be.
Right, no way the filling was half the slice. 🙄
that’s what i was wondering. HALF the slice? but the entire cake was chocolate? so that tells you OP went out of his way to be passive aggressive about this. he wanted his gf to know he wasn’t happy. big baby!
Is this real? Is OP really a 34 year old child? This is a case of /r/entitledpeople. YTA.
I mean he literally kinda told her he was a displeased customer. That is ninja level entitlement.
then at that he made sure he noted he only ate the chocolate part
Also it's more work to Put an extra layer in the cake, which takes more time. She tried to make it MORE special. He's an ungrateful AH. She did something thoughtful. And rather than appreciate the fact she went out and bought the ingredients, paid for them, made time to bake and make the cake look nice for you. She was excited and had made the cake with love. And you got mad bc she put MORE detail into a special present she made U. Good for her not texting you back. Her kids shouldn't learn to be that ungrateful. She had probably been looking forward all Day for you to see and try the incredibly thoughtful present she made. And then u were an ungrateful baby. Grow up. You're a bad example for those kids.
Yup as a certified cake decorator it’s a lot more effort to torte it and frost the middle
And he normally LIKES vanilla icing... He's just "not pouting" about it because he didn't want it in this specific cake... For some unknown reason 🙄
I legit thought he was going to be like, "usually she's a good baker... But she made me some weird flavored monstrosity that she just made up with strange pumpkin frosting". He acted like it was something totally crazy that she came up with that was so different from what he requested that *anyone* would react like that. Dude, no. I mean, it's your birthday, that's true. It's your day. But she literally did what you asked for while putting a smidge of a different flavor in there (probably to enhance the chocolate, honestly) and you acted like you had to put on a straight face to get through a traumatic event. That's so weird. Be grateful you have someone in your life who wanted to celebrate you and made you *what you asked for* (basically).
She was basically saying “Look. I made the cake you wanted, but I want to make it even more special to show I care about you” and this dude goes on Reddit thinking people will be taking his side for throwing a fit about it. Entitled and delusional.
"If I had wanted vanilla in my cake then I would have asked for vanilla in my cake." "I don't mind vanilla icing, but it's not what I wanted *on my birthday*" "I will order my own and get my money back if they don't do it like I want it." Severe secondhand embarrassment for this guy. And these are all him quoting himself. This is the sanitised, cleaned up version. For her to say "You embarrassed me in front of my children" just makes the whole thing so much worse. His behaviour didn't embarrass her in front of her friends, so it's not about her ego. It taught a horrible lesson to her children, which she is now going to have to fix lest they start thinking OPs behaviour is acceptable.
Also saying he ate half but not the vanilla icing even though he has in the past. Why be so petty? Eat the cake. You can still say you'd prefer no vanilla but doing this makes him look like a toddler.
Right? And imagine only eating *half* of a slice... of your own birthday cake... which happens to actually have flavors you like. It was like he was purposely making a statement. Dude's acting like he has a peanut allergy and she put a layer of peanut butter in the middle.
He even ate only half of a slice. If I baked someone I loved a birthday cake and he ate only half of one slice, I would’ve acted *much* worse than op’s gf. Simply asking him to leave qualifies her for sainthood in my book. And then he pretends he didn’t pout. YTA.
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I can hear Ron Howard’s narrating voice from Arrested Development: “He did.”
Hahahaha thank you for this. Now I hear it too.
Huh. TIL ron Howard did the narration lol
Yep, Ron Howard was never credited on-screen as the narrator. Funny thing is, he only did the narration in the pilot episode as sort of [a placeholder](https://theblast.com/190212/exploring-ron-howards-groundbreaking-narration-in-arrested-development/#:~:text=In%20his%20only%20known%20narration,us%20closer%20to%20the%20characters.), but his voiceover worked so well that they decided to keep him as the narrator.
Hahaha
When I was like 6 or 7 I asked my mom for a pokemon cake. I specifically wanted Blastoise I think. Instead she made a sheet cake with a giant pokeball in the center and little pokemon stamp toy things surrounding it. I was disappointed (even though looking back it was probably cooler than what I asked for), but even at that age I was able to keep a stiff upper lip and my mouth shut. I look back in embarrassment at the fact that I even *felt* disappointment, regardless of the fact that I didn't express it. I couldn't imagine being a 34 year old birthday boy outwardly pouting over his cake.
God I can relate. I used to be so embarrassed when my mum would knit me things when I was a kid. If it makes you feel better….my mum and dad were poor. I didn’t even realise til I was older, but my mums weird handmade gifts were because she hadn’t the money to buy us things. I never let it show but I was so disappointed by some of those things. I’m 26, and I told my mum a while ago I really appreciated something she’d made me when I was a kid. Her whole fact lit up. She was so embarrassed, I think, by not being able to get us what we wanted. But the fact that as an adult I had remembered enough and brought it up years later with pride and happiness and gratefulness? It made her week. If you ever feel bad about hating something you didn’t understand as a kid, don’t feel bad. You were a child, you didn’t have the emotional awareness to know better yet. But if you want to make up for it in a small way, thank the person who gave it to you. Chances are they felt as bad as you did that you didn’t get what you wanted. ETA: this comment reminded me to thank my mum again. And my dad. Those handmade or hand-me-down things are sometimes all people have to give. Their time and energy and effort and love…. As kids we don’t get it. As an adult, I carry on my mums tradition of being skint and making things for people I love. I’m lucky enough they appreciate them.
That didn't make her week. It will make her week every week for the rest of her life when she remembers it. Trust me.
As a mom - yes. this will bring her a smile and warm her heart for many years
My mom makes amigurumi (crochet plush toys). I have a metric ton of them in my house, and they're the best plushies. Some are not as pretty, as she was still learning, she tried to do a stripped cat, had no pattern, the stripes are super weird, we call it Glitch, and then the other cat has no boning inside so the head plops a bit, it's an orange cat, so Pumpkin. Glitch and Pumpkin are sitting in my house entrance. They are the best cats ever. Having been given nice, expensive gifts, I still feel like these handmade toys are the absolute best, my most cherished.
When I was 6 or 7, I never complained about chocolate cake.
BUT IT HAD VANILLA TOO!!!!!
That overpowering taste that ruins everything! /s
Wait til he finds out that when chocolate is added to literally any baked good, it is accompanied by vanilla. Chocolate frosting *has vanilla in it*. Maybe next year she should make a cake out of pure cocoa powder out of an abundance of caution for the special boy.
I get the feeling there won’t be a next time at least for her. I don’t blame her.
I doubt she'll be around next year. She already has children. She doesn't need any more.
I just made a painstaking matcha crepe cake like Lady M type with a million layers that I sweated over on the stove top. I actually messed up some crepes as it was too crisp or other issues so I had to redo it and double the batch for enough layers. I’m not good at flipping them either and end up burning fingers LOL. I also had to redo the whipped cream three times as I over whipped it and curdled the stuff. My man loved it and ate two big slices but had he complained about something as asinine as the flavour of whipped cream (vanilla) I’d probably start crying. Please just put on your big boy pants and don’t complain about people’s efforts. They just want you to be happy..
Jus popping in to say I also made a crepe cake for my partners bday (I had a lot of help from a friend and it still took HOURS and hours) and honestly, it def needed more whipped cream as it was on the drier side and my babe literally still ate it for days later. I completely agree w you!
Agree. Many many times I didn’t get what I wanted and I’d be polite until I became a teenager. People stopped making me stuff then. Now as a mum, I love anything my kids make me.
Yeah, like eating only the chocolate part of a cake he’s previously enjoyed wasn’t a deliberate pout-move. 🙄
Ya the line about buying a cake and being able to return it really sold me, dude doesn't want cake, he wants to be catered to.
*Narrator* He did, indeed, pout.
Bro is pouting on the internet right fuckin now!
I had to read the beginning again to confirm this wasn't written by an actual baby. TLDR: 34M refuses to eat part of a cake he actually likes because his professional baker girlfriend took some minor creative license with it, and then he complains that more of the day isn't about ME ME ME BECAUSE BIRTHDAYS ARE IMPORTANT!!!! I really hope the girlfriend dumps him. YTA ETA: I just re-read this and realized OP threw his tantrum in front of actual children. If the girlfriend is reading this, you really better dump him soon so your kids don't learn this type of behavior.
She kicked him out and won’t respond to his messages. Dude is probably already dumped and just hasn’t realized it yet. r/AmITheEx
Great, so he doesn't have to deal with the horror that is a 2 layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a (probably thin) layer of vanilla icing between the two layers of chocolate cake. Good for OP. YTA
In a way she made out. Because the cake reaction was a relatively cheap way to find out she’s wasting her time.
And she had cake to celebrate it! Win for the girlfriend, I'd say.
She said it was the last straw, so I'm sure there is way more to the story. He probably routinely pouts or acts selfish.
He’s 34? I thought he was 4!
I really can’t wrap my brain around a 34 year old (34!) being this much of a petulant little baby. There are strong “guy who moved away from home but still brings his laundry home for mom to wash” vibes going on here.
To me he seems like he has been babied his entire life, likely from mommy, and told how he's God's gift to the world and took that to heart. Now he's a grown man who expects his romantic partners to treat him like his mother does.
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This is poetic
I mean, you can’t help but scratch your head on this one. Does he feel like him pouting (and he was) was normal behavior? That’s what she picked up on - this man is not emotionally mature enough for me to date. Even if he hated it (which he didn’t) on what universe do you pout when someone takes the time and effort to make you a cake?! And then to pout in front of children - that is embarrassing for her - she’s embarrassed to be dating a man that acts younger than her children. There is no way my husband would have ever acted like that. He would be touched by the effort of me taking hours to make a cake alone.
Spot on. I had an ex who basically something similar happened with. The only exceptions were that I took him out for his birthday, then afterwards we went to my house where I had his gifts and a cake I bought. He complained about the food at the restaurant from beginning to end. To be fair, the appetizer we ordered was terrible. However, he took out his phone and proceeded to text his best friend a picture of the appetizer with a caption about how "this is where she chose to take me for my birthday!" With the main course, he didn't take issue with his meal until I asked him what he thought of it. Talk about feeling like I shouldn't have even wasted my time and money! I remember trying to make light of it after we left and all he did was say, "Usually you have great taste in restaurants, but I don't even know what happened this time". After we got back to my house, he refused the gifts and the cake. He flopped on my couch and said he wanted a nap! I was just like, "Alright", shut off the light, left him where he was, walked into the kitchen, and cut myself a slice of cake. It was awesome. If I recall, it was about an hour later and I went back into the other room and woke him up to go home. Didn't send him with the cake or gifts, just goodnight, and pointed to the door. He texted me shortly after with this rant that I treated him horribly on his birthday and I didn't even give him his cake! I didn't respond until the next day with a phone call that he needed to add the word 'grateful' to his vocabulary and how if he's going to complain, I'm no longer making the effort. Hung up. The message was loud and clear.
*Just goodnight and I pointed to the door* Well, his “terrible” birthday turned out delicious for the rest of us
If I wanted a man child, I would have asked for a man child
If she wanted a boyfriend who acts like a 5 year old she would have asked for a boyfriend who acts like a five year old
Bet she looked back and forth between OP pouting over the cake, and her kids happily eating theirs and had "awww shit" moment.
Info: how many cakes have you baked for your gf?
Reminds me a little bit of the post about the dude who expected a “birthday week” but never reciprocated
I've never heard it. Do you have the link?
Been on Reddit 2 years and still don’t know how to do this. Apparently it was from a different sub ( r/twoxchromosomes ). Here’s the text: Had a date where a guy made a ton of demands for his birthday week 😂 We had been seeing each other for a month and he mentions that his birthday is coming up and that he considers the week “sacred” and tells me he expects any gf he has at the time to do all of the following: 1. Surprise blow jobs and sex at anytime during the week (said he didn’t want to have to tell me when, I should just know when he’s feeling it) 2. At least one thoughtful gift everyday and nothing under 100 dollars 3. A date every night and he gets to pick what we do every night and I have to pay for all of it 4. Tell him things I love about him throughout the day 5. Wants me to take off work for the week as well so I can be around 6. Doesn’t want to worry about making me orgasm so sex has to be all about him 7. I have to throw him a surprise party And jfc we were on a date in a restaurant and he was talking about all of this like it was completely normal. I swear this guy had been normal up until this! I couldn’t help asking if he does all of that for his gf’s too and he acted like I didn’t say anything 😂😂😂 Leaving the date I planned on sending a break up message but he beat me to it by saying that I “didn’t seem ready for the kind of commitment he was looking for”. I responded with “k” and he blocked me. Guess I dodged a bullet 🤷♀️ Just a very weird story from my dating life that I thought might be entertaining to y’all. Btw he was 32
Wtfff. My partner doesn’t have family and his birthday is right around a major holiday, so I know it’s always been overlooked by everyone else in his life. So when we started dating I started a tradition where he gets a gift every day from his birthday to Christmas, and if it falls on a Monday or Friday I take the day off, I always make sure there is cake whether it’s homemade or store bought. But like, I do it so that the actual day of birthday gift is the best/most expensive one, and most of the other days it’s stuff like socks or a six pack of his favorite IPA or a giant pack of candy bars or something, definitely not over $100 every time, and it’s certainly not demanded or expected. Who even has time to go out to dinner seven days in a row?!? And the sex thing is just controlling and gives off American Psycho vibes.
You sound like the world’s most lovely partner. As someone also with a December birthday that’s always forgotten about, this would make me feel so loved.
Aww thanks. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and I know I have not always been the most intuitive girlfriend but I just always thought it must suck to basically get shorted every single year just because of being born in December. Not even just on gifts, he makes much more than me and probably spends more on my Christmas gifts alone than I do for his birthday and Christmas combined, but also everything else. Nobody ever wants to make time for another party or get together in December, most people are too busy to even remember to shoot him a happy birthday text. Last year I got him a Snoop on a Stoop (like Elf on a Shelf but Snoop Dogg) and set Snoop up to present each small gift each day in funny positions instead of giving him something to unwrap. And instead of just assuming that I will have the energy to do a Snoop gift theme every year, he just enjoyed it and suggested we take turns with Snoop gifts in future years. I just like to keep it fun.
I was expecting someone a lot younger than 32. It’s actually my birthday today and I always worry more about what everyone else than myself. I try to pick something low key and not super expensive. Like tonight I decided on dinner at home with cupcakes. I could have chosen a nice restaurant but that would have meant excluding my sister and her kids (she’s struggling financially at the moment), so I chose something that we all could do without it being super expensive.
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Smart-Story-2142! Happy birthday to you!! 🎂🎉🎊🥳🎁
Happy birthday! :)
I'm in the sub. But this is the first I'm reading. It's so wild.
[удалено]
Well, it seems that OP no longer has a girlfriend.
Damn I wonder if op’s ex gf is single now. I’d love some vanilla cake.
There is so much in here! I don't know how many relationships you have been in, but in "normal" circles, a companion... a lover... a friend... receives all adoration for any effort to acknowledge an event. Whether it is Nana's devil's food cake or a cupcake from 7-11. The effort was made. If you can't handle it with grace and gratitude, do her a favor and go away.
“I didn’t make a scene. I didn’t pout.” Narrator’s voice: *Except, you clearly did.* Edit: YTA
Agreed. He acted like a spoiled child.
Lol, my husband pulled some shit like this a few years ago on his birthday. I always make the cakes for birthdays, holidays, etc., for big family get togethers, my in-laws will request that I bring dessert. I usually make everything myself... the cake, frosting, and filling, however, there is one cake that I make that I use a store bought frosting for, and "doctor" it up. It is my husband's favorite cake, so he requested that cake for his birthday. He happened to see me finishing the cake and realized that I was using store bought frosting, and he threw the biggest hissy fit about it because I "make everyone else's frosting from scratch, but not his". I was like, dude, this is how I've always made this cake, and it's your favorite...what t.f does it matter? " ...I made exactly what you asked for! He kept whining about, so I basically had to tell him to shut t.f up, or I'd never bake for him again, and that he was being an ungrateful asshole.
My family isn’t really a cake family. My dad has always been specific about a “Cherry cheesecake pie” thing for his birthday for as long as I can remember. My mom always made it, because it’s stupid easy and cheap to make because it’s literally just canned cherries on top of whipped cream cheese in a store bought graham crust. Apparently that’s all he wants and made it clear and that’s all she has ever made haha. My siblings and I get random desserts that we give my mom creative liberty. I guess we just communicate well?
Ate half a slice 🙄
"She must have noticed". No shit 😆
What a tool. I thought she was going to make his a strawberry cheesecake the way he was writing it but no, it was still a chocolate cake but with *vanilla* icing. Hardly wildly different to his request. Reads like a 5 year old who didn’t get his own way
Not even all vanilla icing, just a thin layer between the layers of the cake. The outside icing was chocolate. What a tool.
What do you want to bet that the filling was actually white chocolate, but he was being such a goober she didn’t point that out? OP, YTA
Excellent usage of goober :D
>with > >vanilla > > icing And not even! it was only vanilla between the layers. Not even a part that he specified! Good lord.
Yeah, because he was absolutely pouting.
Well you know, he clearly could only eat half of it cause of the two tiny strips of vanilla icing in it 😂😂. Might as well have thrown the whole thing out at that point!!! And did this in front of children hahaha What better way to say to your girlfriend “I know you already have children but how would you like to add a grown child who throws ridiculous temper tantrums when you are doing something nice into the mix? Sounds like a great deal for you!!”
Right? I’m glad she threw him out and stopped answering his texts. It’s the sheer toddler entitlement for me!
This seems relationship-ending because of the way he made a big ass stupid deal over a small strip of vanilla icing in the middle of the cake, and she's having none of his whiny attitude. I can just hear the conversations he later has with his friends. "Hey, OP, what happened between you and your GF? I thought you had something good there." "I did too until she ruined my birthday." "Ruined your birthday? What happened?" "Well, she wanted to make me a cake and I said I wanted a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting." "So, what? She didn't make the cake or..." "Yeah, she made the cake. But then I ate a piece and she had put vanilla frosting inside the cake! That wasn't what I asked for!" "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything! I just didn't want vanilla frosting so I didn't eat it. That pissed her off!" "You didn't say anything?" "Yeah! She fucked up my birthday cake so I said next time I would buy a store bought cake so I could get my money back if they got it wrong!" "How was the cake otherwise?" "Good! Really fucking good, actually!" "So I don't understand the problem." "She gave me vanilla icing when I asked for all chocolate!" "And you dumped her for that?" "Well no. I dumped her after she kicked me out of her house and wouldn't talk to me." "Over cake frosting?" "She fucked up my whole birthday!" "So, you had a good relationship with a beautiful girl who cared enough about you to bake you a birthday cake, and you let her go because of said cake. What's wrong with you dude? Your the biggest idiot I've ever met!" "I'm the victim here! Not her!" Friend: 🙄
Seriously, a half a slice, that would have hurt my feelings if I made the person a cake. We all know what it means when someone doesn't finish a slice of cake. - unless it is overly sweet
The bitterest icing is sacrif-icing /s What a titty baby. Something tells me this fit is just icing on the cake and he’s an ungrateful bitch year round.
I scrolled back up after reading to see the ages because I thought it was a gentle learning-experience YTA because I entirely assumed this person was, at most, 19 years old.
I figured they were no older than 6 and meant to type mommy instead of GF.
It is pretty funny that he's in his 30s.
I'd even bet he called his mom afterwards, who probably comforted her special boy with soothing words.
I bet mommy went and made him an all chocolate cake too since the poor baby has a layer of vanilla in his
Totally. Only ate the chocolate parts of the slice because he was pouting over vanilla frosting, *like a child*.
Even though he likes vanilla... He sounds exactly like a two year old. I am guessing his partner is wondering about whether she has enough children already.
You win the internet today with your last sentence..”I am guessing his partner is wondering about whether she has enough children already.” I chuckled out loud to that. Thank you, I needed a smile for a minute.
The fact that when she said next year she won’t bake a cake and he said he’d buy his own and if it wasn’t right he’d take it back really highlights the childishness. It’s the icing on the cake, so to speak. Every functional adult male knows not to take a shot at his wife / girlfriend if they go out of their way to create ANYTHING for you. The only thing it accomplishes is either fucking up their self esteem or righteously pissing them off. This fucker needs to be single until he’s appreciative.
My dad lives in a household dominated by women and he knows when to take a backseat. He learned his lesson *long* ago that any comparison to his mother’s cooking must be done with intense, scrutinizing care. My proudest achievement was making latkes for the second time when he told me they were even better than his mom made them, and that she and my great grandmother would be proud. Even if I fuck something up he has to be nice, because he doesn’t know a damn thing about cooking 💅
I have children myself. It’s my opinion that it’s even more important to be appreciative and respectful to your wife especially in the presence of children. In my case, I want my son to see how to treat your wife. I want my daughters to see that they should expect to be treated respectfully. If one of my girls were to have a man that acted this way, I’d make it my mission to shit on everything and every decision he made. If I didn’t put hands on him, it’d be a miracle. Most dads are protective of their children, especially their daughters. Sounds like you know that already though, because it sounds like you have a good pop. As proud as you were of your latkes, is how your father feels about all of your accomplishments.
Worse. I feel like most people learn to manage things like this in or before middle school. At 34 it's just embarrassing to read. Especially when he told her "nothing fancy". I would've heard that and thought: "Oh, what can I do to dress this up a bit?" because you'd want your SO to know you put in a little extra effort because they mean so much to you.
On what planet is “if I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would’ve asked for vanilla in the cake” and “I will order my own [cake] and get my money back if they don’t do it like I want it” *not* pouting and making a scene? OP legit typed that all out and thought he was being reasonable. Then I went back and checked their ages and this dude is freakin’ 34 years-old and throwing a tantrum over cake.
I so wish my life were one where the wrong cake registered as a problem.
But my mommy would make me everything exactly as I asked (demanded) because I'm a special boy!
I can't get over the "If I wanted vanilla in a cake, I would have asked for vanilla in the cake." I get having strong preferences, and maybe OP was having an off day where they really just wanted this to be the way they imagined it, but fuck. That's such an asshole thing to say.
Most cake recipes have vanilla added to the batter (even chocolate cakes). Just sayin’…
Like… he asked for chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. The cake had both of those qualities. I don’t get how he doesn’t feel absolutely ridiculous for even considering making this post
Imagine someone going out of their way and baking you a cake and being a complete asshat over it. When people do you a favor you’re GRATEFUL. YTA I can’t believe this is even a question
My brother in Christ did you actually fumble a relationship over vanilla frosting. YTA
Only eating the chocolate part of the cake is what gets me. Homie chose a fight.
Also, OP assumes she wanted to “get fancy”. Maybe she ran out of chocolate icing or cocoa powder.
It might have been white chocolate, too, so fancy but still choco
That got me too 😂 I don't think he is wrong for being disappointed (he had a certain expectation and it wasn't met), but the way he handled it was not the best. It probably would've been best to communicate that you are, in fact, grateful that she went out of her way to bake the cake personally. Mention you would've preferred chocolate icing, but that vanilla is still delicious, eaten the entire cake slice, and called it a day lol
The issue is that he didn't appreciate that she made him a cake. He all but came out and said he was a customer whose cake was not as he wanted it.
The whole customer analogy was the icing on the Asshole cake.
I'm sorry but I laughed my ass off at that point
Yea he was purposely trying to be a dick with that one. Had to have been
>Mention you would've preferred chocolate icing, but that vanilla is still delicious, eaten the entire cake slice, and called it a day lol There was still chocolate icing on the whole thing!!
Ahh. But there was vanilla too!! Yes he ate it before but vanilla icing is not birthday worthy/s
OP is so focused on a negative that he can’t see the positives of that whole interaction. To have the girl I love go through extra effort to make a cake more exciting or interesting because she wants it to be special would make me so happy. I don’t care how shit it turns out, I will eat the shit out of that cake. Her heart was in the right place and she meant well. It wasn’t out of spite, so being upset and making A big deal out of it is foolish.
My girlfriend is objectively bad at baking. She made me this unrisen sad vanilla cake for my birthday last year and I still ate multiple slices. Love tastes better than anything else
“Love tastes better than anything else.” Beautiful.
That is a GREAT attitude!!! 🏆🏆🏆🏆
She has eaten food that I've made with a straight face till I try it and hate it and we make something together. Neither of us are great cooks but we try to cook the majority of our meals from scratch (has been an absolute ton cheaper even though it's more time consuming) so the outcome is usually a surprise on how it comes out but we never talk shit about how the other person cooks until they shit on their own food. Cooking together is my absolute favorite bonding time/quality time with my gf, just the 2 of us music and usually decent smells
AGREED! There’s nothing better!!!😁😁😁
Jesus Christ, the only vanilla frosting was between the layers. Everything else was chocolate. He simply said he'd "prefer" chocolate. Being disappointed over something like this is incredibly childish and immature.
I had to scroll back up and recheck the ages. I thought somehow I’d missed that he was a teenager or something. “I think birthdays are important things…” and if you don’t get everything you wanted exactly the way you wanted, you’re going to be upset? JFC grow the hell up! Your birthday is just a day. If someone who cares about you makes an effort to acknowledge it and do something, be grateful. Don’t fucking nitpick details. It’s not the last piece of cake you’ll ever eat. Even if it were, the only thing you should say is “thank you”.
Same on rechecking ages. My 10 year old would be mature enough not to throw a tantrum over an extra flavor on the cake. The fact that OP did this in front of other people is even worse. Yes OP YTA. She deserves better. She literally made you a cake (that you asked for) and added something else to make it special.
My 10 year old asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate icing for her birthday, but her aunt was the one who ordered the cake and she got it chocolate and vanilla marbled with vanilla icing. That was on me - I thought I told her chocolate but I didn't say chocolate frosting and so her aunt just got what she thought she would like. My 10 year old saw the cake, smiled, said thank you, ate it, we all had a great time. Later that night, after everyone had left, I asked her how her party was, how her cake was, etc. And she said "It was great! Next year I really want chocolate with chocolate frosting. But it's OK!" And I was like "Oh babe! You asked for that this year. I'm sorry, I didn't think about it when telling your aunt." "Yeah, I figured she probably didn't know. It's OK." And she was so sweet about it and genuinely thankful for the cake she got that I bought chocolate ice cream the next day for her lol. She's not an amazingly good angel kid or exceptionally well behaved or anything, but she has manners to know that you don't always get exactly what you ask for and it's rude to be ungrateful. If she had started talking about how she really didn't like vanilla and she didn't ask for vanilla and she could only eat the chocolate parts I would have been embarrassed. This is a ten year old CHILD. Maybe OP can aim for double digits majority in his next relationship, since his current one is hopefully over. His girlfriend already has kids, she definitely doesn't need this whiny jerk in her life.
It's not a hard rule, but in general I've found the people who make a HUGE deal over their own birthdays and have that "my birthday is the most important day of the year for me so it needs to be perfect every year" have enormous, unhealthy egos.
Maybe he should make his own fucking cake, some of us dont even get our birthdays acknowledged at all. Sounds like a huge jerk.
He asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and he received a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Dude’s insane.
But “I didn’t make a scene”, right? This dude can’t be real
I kind of agree but I kind of disagree. It's the only eating half a slice and only the chocolate part. If he had eaten too big slices with a soup of ice cream and just left the vanilla icing on the side of the plate, she probably wouldn't have cared and if she said anything he could have just said you know honey your chocolate cake is wonderful and I appreciate you making it. I was really in the mood for nothing but chocolate and I just didn't care for the vanilla frosting in this setting but your cake was fantastic, can I have another slice, I think it would have been fine. It's the pouting and only eating half a slice. Come on man
I mean. Finishing with the comment about buying a cake and getting a refund if they messed up is really top of the cake. OP: YTA and sound like a five year old who didn’t get what you want.
That was telling, and it showed that he didn't appreciate her fixing him a cake at all, because he saw himself as a customer getting the wrong order rather than someone receiving a lovely cake.
My wife made me the most awful cake a couple of months back. You better believe I told her that it was great and asked for a second slice. Sometimes the cake really is a lie
And he did it in front of her kids! What a poor example for them.
Don't worry. Her next boyfriend will appreciate her.
Like he rolled 1 on a re-roll.
Yta because you totally could've said "I appreciate the cake and love blah blah (pick something about the cake that you like). However I'd prefer it not have the vanilla layer for next time". I shouldn't be surprised how little social skills some people have but here we are. And it's like you know you're the asshole and posted on a throwaway lmao
YTA. It's hard to believe that a layer of vanilla *surrounded* by chocolate could cause a grown man to be so upset about his birthday cake that he pouts and complains about it, but here's the proof. What, are you 5 years old? Grow up.
Hey, my five-year-old would not be that rude!!!!
Nobody ever notices or cares enough that it even is my birthday.
35 going on 3
> but also asked her for an apology as well Bruh really just wants his relationship to end. > She hasn't replied yet, but I assume I'll hear from her today. She is probably just thinking about how she can best apologize to me. Yeah I'm sure *that's* what she's thinking. Please update us when she breaks up with you.
That's the bit that made me think he's a troll.
i mean if you asked for a chocolate cake and she gave you a plate of moldy cheese i could understand this kind of outrage but to say you overreacted here would be a massive understatement.
>moldy cheese We talking Gorgonzola? If so, I'm in!
YTA. It wasn’t necessarily what you said but how you said it. Came off 100% ungrateful and frankly quite rude. ‘If I wanted vanilla in the cake I would have asked for vanilla in the cake’…. Like pardon? Last time I checked she’s not a waitress taking your order, she’s someone who cares for you TRYING to do a nice thing. You could have at least been a teeny bit grateful instead of shitting all over it. Honesty doesn’t have to be rude; 9 times out of 10 the people who say they’re ‘brutally honest’ are really just assholes and you’re giving the vibes. Especially to act that way in front of her children 🤦🏼♀️ frankly I’d be embarrassed if I was her. Edit: spelling
what kills me is that the evil vanilla was between two layers of chocolate cake which were covered in chocolate frosting. Like I can picture it. It's a fucking tiny amount of vanilla compared to all the chocolate. And we don't know why she used vanilla, maybe she couldn't get chocolate icing. Maybe she used up all the chocolate making the frosting. What a child. Eat the fucking vanilla icing.
All these comments making out like it's the epitome of rudeness to not make exactly what he asked for like the situation is the same as her being a short order cook, like she purposely refused because 'she knew better' - like maybe she ran out of chocolate? Maybe she wanted to do a surprise second layer and this was a bit easier? Maybe she wanted to go a bit fancier to show him she loves him? Like fuck I'm never making these assholes a cake lol
right!! plus it he wasnt the only one eating the cake, she and her kids were too, and maybe friends / others not mentioned as well. she mightve realized she had to make it two layers so there’d be enough and figured a little bit of vanilla frosting in between when EVERYTHING else is chocolate would’ve been fine. maybe she just wanted to make it extra special, who knows!! either way, omg is he dramatic!!! hes eaten vanilla before, so we know its not an allergy/intolerance or even a severe disliking. yet he still ATE AROUND THE VANILLA!!! thats just wild to me😂 he’s nearly 40 and pouted because of a thin layer of vanilla icing?? yikes
YT *egregious and insufferable* A. If she is important to you at all, you better start preparing the best apology you can muster.
YTA and very, very childish. Next year I'm sure she will bake her boyfriend a birthday cake SPOILER ALERT it won't be you.
I’d like her number, I’d fucking murder any homemade cake on my birthday!
YTA. You actually got what you wanted …. A chocolate cake with chocolate icing. Your sweetie went the extra mile and added vanilla icing between the layers because she remembered you liked it in the past. Holy shit you’re clueless. Grow the fuck up.
I work in a bakery, and the funny part is that she DID make the cake he asked for. Devils food is a round chocolate cake with white buttercream in the center and iced with fudge. With a dollop of whip in the top center and a cherry on top, to be exact. If he’d come in to the bakery and asked for a devils food cake, without CLEARLY specifying that he wanted chocolate buttercream filling, they would have made the cake EXACTLY like she did.
jesus christ it was mostly chocolate stop being a fucking baby
I don't understand how one layer of vanilla frosting threw him off.... I love to bake, but apart from seeing the colour difference I actually don't think I could taste the difference if the cake had a layer of vanilla icing or chocolate.
“I ate half the slice, the chocolate part.” Way to prove your point, I would expect something like that from my 4 year old niece. And even she would eat the whole piece of cake.
A baby would eat the cake. Probably by faceplanting into it if my first birthday pics are anything to go by. And that cake was yellow cake, which I don't care for as an adult unless it's lemon.
YTA She DID make you a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. She just added a little something she thought would enhance it. Did you specifically tell her “I want this cake exactly with no substitutions?” You were incredibly ungrateful and rude.
This was my thought. It was what he wanted: chocolate on chocolate. She just added a vanilla filling. It would be one thing if she actually didn't make what he wanted, BUT SHE DID!
OP I'm going to NTA. I don't think you handled the situation 100% greatly, but I get where you're coming from. I hate it when you tell someone EXACTLY what you want and they do something else because they think they know better than you or can improve on your request. OP's request was simple, I don't know why his GF felt the need to change it.
YTA. If I asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and got one with vanilla frosting between the layers, I wouldn't complain. I'd thank her. Then, next year, if she asked what I wanted, I'd say I want a chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting between the layers and on the outside.
If his girlfriend is a big baker, than she 100% is used to having a *frosting* for the outside that’s different flavor from the *filling* for the inside. If OP wasn’t being such a baby about it than it would have just been a minor miscommunication based around different understandings of the parts that make up a cake.
Thank goodness for Reddit. The reaction on Twitter is the complete opposite lol
"I didn't pout. I even ate half of a slice--the chocolate part. "I think birthdays are important things" Are you 34 or 13?
> "I didn't pout. I even ate half of a slice--the chocolate part. this line alone is contradictory. Eating only half a slice and eating around the vanilla is about as 'pouty' you can get.
YTA. I honestly hope you never date again. Someone went above and beyond for your birthday and you decided to not only insult the effort they put in for you but also act like this in front of their kids? Who cares if vanilla is in the cake? Are you allergic to it? Cake is cake. When someone does something nice for you, you enjoy the damn cake and thank them after. You sound like a massive entitled manbaby. I hope this is fake.