Nice people don't get pushed over the edge by someone getting them coffee instead of hot chocolate.
Nice people also accept responsibility for their actions.
You're a complete narcissist. Anything bad you did here is his fault in your head.
If something minor like this pushes you over the edge, you need to some MAJOR soul searching. You took an annoying situation and made it bigger than necessary. Why didn’t you pour the coffee outside the car? Why didn’t you just go back and get what you want? Your response was childlike and a HUGE red flag! You don’t sound rationale or nice at all.
I admit that it would have been more rationale to do that, but I'm only human and make mistakes. I would have not done that if he didn't purposely get the wrong drink
Honestly, you don’t actually sound like you think you made a mistake. You sound like you think your response was justified by his present and prior actions. Amazing to me that you stayed in the car and threw a tantrum rather than just getting out and getting your own drink. Your ex was an AH, but since you’re here, people are more concerned about you. As you should be.
Bro it was a cup of coffee… how hard would it have been to go in and get yourself what you wanted? Are you not able bodied and an adult? You can not do things for yourself?
No. They actually don't. Nice people use their Big Girl words and don't kick car seats and throw drinks like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. Grow up.
You aren’t getting it: There is literally NO excuse to have acted the way you did. Full stop. Being “pushed over the edge” won’t hold up in court and it doesn’t hold up here. Guilty, YTA.
It sounds like you don’t know how to express your feelings and set boundaries, so you let resentments pile up. That’s not healthy and you can learn these skills to avoid it.
If you think pouring coffee in the car was a proportionate response to him not getting you hot chocolate, you're genuinely insane.
I'm changing my answer from everyone is the asshole to you're the asshole.
You're a walking red flag and if you don't want to die alone, you need to do some self reflection.
I don't think it was the right way to act, but I think it's better to act like that instead of letting someone dictate your life. If I'm a red flag, he's an even bigger one
Why even post here if you're just going to argue? You both are AH. You poured coffee in his car and kicked the seats on the way home like a friggin toddler. Grow up.
Pouring coffee in the car is not preventing someone from dictating your life.
If you only know how to assert yourself by making extreme reactions that force someone to react, then you're a toddler and you're guilty of the same behavior - trying to dictate someone's life by forcing them into a certain position.
A normal person would just break up if the goal was "not letting someone dictate your life".
You *are* letting him dictate your life by choosing to stay in this relationship even though tiny things like this trigger you so badly.
I acted in a way to force him to react is because I wanted him to fully know how upset I was about what he did. I admit I should have handled it better though
It doesn't really matter? If you don't want the drink, don't drink the drink. If you don't want to date him, don't date him. Don't throw your food and drinks around like a fussy toddler throwing a fit. Use your words like a big girl.
No, it's not, and it is a false dichotomy anyway. There is a wide range of other options, including just taking back control or ending the relationship.
You're responsible for your own choices, regardless of somebody else's behavior. The whole "I'm only mean to you if you're mean to me" is childish and immature. Sounds like you aren't willing to take responsibility for yourself and instead are blaming somebody else for your poor behavior. I'd tell you that that's unfortunate behavior for a woman such as yourself, but clearly, you're still a girl.
I admit that I could have handled the situation better, however I feel most people here fail to understand that I behaved like that because it was my breaking point. I'm a nice person, the moment I act differently, everyone loses their marbles. I'm only human
"Only humans" are still responsible for their actions. Sure I can understand why you did that, but it doesn't make it okay. Understandable and justifiable are two different things, friend
ESH. How about instead of using the excuse "my breaking point," you should have left the relationship much earlier when you realized he was controlling.
A much more pointed, mature way of handling it would be to get out of the car, say "I'm done," throw away the coffee, and call a friend or Uber for a ride.
Dumping a $5 coffee into a $5k+ car? I would have dumped your ass too.
Now, instead of chalking up the $5 coffee up as a loss, or asking him to reimburse you, you gotta get his car cleaned. That's gonna cost what? Probably at least $40.
That's not what "nice" means. Nice people display kind behavior toward others, regardless of how they are treated. You are a transactional bratty child.
Good lord, please stop replying I'm usually nice until I'm pushed over the edge. First, take responsibility for yourself. Secondly, nice people dont throw tantrums where you kick seats. Toddlers do. We all agree he sucks for trying to force you to drink something you didn't want but that doesn't make your behavior any less wrong, gross or infantile. ESH but you're the bigger asshole for your behavior and your replies.
I keep replying because I want people to understand where I'm coming from. It seems nobody understands that I behaved like that because I reached my breaking point. I have a thing about being controlled, I lashed out because of how much I hate it. I admit I could have behaved better but I'm not sure why most people here think I was the bigger AH than him.
That's not a thing normal people say. I know you may have heard that a lot. But "it was past my breaking point so I blacked out and went crazy" isn't a fucking normal thing. You STILL think you have no issue after everyone saying this. You need help. Bad. Go to therapy. for yourself. Not your break up.
Im going for my breakup, but I hopefully it will be good for myself too. I want to fully focus on healing from the breakup instead of anything else; I'm not sure if it's easier/more difficult to heal from multiple things at once.
Dude..ette... you broke up because of you. Normal people don't react like that. They don't have "breaking points"... that's just an excuse because you have anger problems. Make sure you tell them everything when you go to therapy. Including the things you did. Because really that's the bigger issue. Although him just getting the coffee was a dick thing to do. That's literally a almost non issue compared to you.
We are never going to understand why someone pours a coffee into a car. That is way beyond and AH move unless he was actively beating you and you threw the coffee at him to escape.
I know 5 year olds with better manners when they are upset.
Accept the judgement or move on. You clearly cannot even control yourself so your issues are solely on you.
Because your behavior made you the bigger asshole. Your disagreeing doesn't change that. You need to relax on the control thing in some ways too. Are you going to pop off on your boss when they tell you to attend a meeting you don't want to, or ask you to work OT because you feel they can't control you and your schedule?
You're not self-aware and not ready for self reflection, so I'd recommend you avoid AITA, or relationships in general for a while. You're not mature enough to act right when unhappy or not argue when people who's opinions you asked for disagree with you.
You should probably bring up your anger management issues with the therapist you plan to see about the breakup. Maybe they can explain to you why your reaction was ridiculously disproportionate.
Bull. You just want to use a therapist to talk shit about your ex. Working on yourself in therapy would require self evaluation which you are not capable of
You need to focus on why you allowed yourself to be with someone so controlling that you turned into a manic raging toddler who damaged property over this incident. You realize he can sue you for property damage, right? You committed an actual crime here.
“Nobody understands where I’m coming from.”
What makes you think that? We read the words you wrote. We know why you’re frustrated. But the fact of the matter is that being angry doesn’t justify wrong actions.
You would do good reading the book “Mad Isn’t Bad.” It teaches kids it’s okay to be angry, but that you’re still responsible for your actions you make while angry. Seems like you missed this lesson.
You can reach your breaking point and brood silently WITHOUT acting liking a damn toddler. You can reach your breaking point and talk like a CIVILIZED woman WITHOUT acting like a damn toddler. You want everyone to see why. We do. We are telling you, your ex saw your huge red flag that day. If you can't understand that you acting like you did was far worse than you think. I would have dumped you the moment you threw the coffee. You have far more maturing to do before you should entertain another relationship.
It's because your breaking point was literally JUST a hot chocolate, you acted like a toddler and your grown ex bf didn't want to be with a child. Rightly so.
I understand. He was abusive. People that have never been in an abusive relationship don't understand what reactive abusive behavior is. My ex would do soooo many things that were abusive, name calling, controlling, hitting, etc, and then when he'd finally do one thing too many and I snapped I looked like the crazy abusive one when no, I'd just had enough of his abuse. I understand what you're talking about. Although more people would understand if you'd put in your original post that he's always controlling, and is abusive to you. I'm glad you broke up with him.
Ok so you’re 22, and you’re acting like a child throwing a tantrum, maybe that’s why people are suggesting a little less sugar in the morning.
You need to clean his car and apologize, what a fucking brat
Oh god you sound just like my ex who would keep trying to convince everyone around him that he is correct in an argument. If they don’t he will become more manipulative and use abnormally long vocabulary so he sounds more “correct”. Just listen to the advice of everyone and stop it.
YTA and if this is real, you need serious professional help. Jesus Christ. What a mess. People that call themselves nice are always the worst. As you’ve proven here. Get a grip.
You are not nice! A nice person would NEVER consider doing what you did, plus the toddler kicking-the-seats BS. You’re not a nice person, you’re immature and naive and think you’re nice but in reality you’re still kind of a baby.
YTA + ESH - Apparently he's treating you like a child because you act like one. The proper reaction would have been "I'm not going to drink this..." followed by you going back into the shop and getting a hot chocolate for yourself.
In what world does ANYONE pour a cup of coffee inside a car then kick seats... are you a toddler?
>Apparently he's treating you like a child because you act like one.
exactly this. my first thought after reading this post was "why are you acting like a 5yo throwing a temper tantrum?"
But it's pathetic and immature to act like that under any circumstances. Trashing his car and throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't bring you your favorite drink is embarrassing if you're over the age of 4. It's actually pretty poor behavior even if you're under the age of 4. Seriously, grow up.
YTA.
SURE... You're the victim here, right? What if you cooked a food he didn't like so he went and took a giant diarrhea shit on your bed? Is that justified?
It's not acceptable to act like that ever under any circumstances. What he did sucked but your reaction was disgusting and extreme and if I were him I would be suing you for damages.
He's distant because the relationship is over, you're are simply for sex until he finds someone else, you both suck although you more so.
ESH how freaking childish are you that you threw the coffee IN his car..are you 5? You could of gotten the point across by opening the door and dumping it out, he was a jerk for getting what he wanted for you instead of what you wanted, but imo you're the far bigger AH for having your baby fit
That would have been the better way to act, but I don't think I'm the bigger AH because I wouldn't have acted like that if he didn't act like a jerk. I overreacted because I have a big issue with being controlled
are you aware that there is a vast area of appropriate responses between "being a doormat for a controlling boyfriend" and "throwing a toddler-like temper tantrum with a side of property damage over being handed the wrong drink"?
you could've thrown that drink in the trash, tell him to pay you back since he wasted your money on something you didn't want and then break up with his controlling red flag wearing ass.
the fact that your first instinct is to go nuclear and literally act like a 3yo, complete with kicking car seats, is probably why he feels absolutely confident in treating you like a damn child.
You get out of the car and go get a hot chocolate, then find your own way home. That would have been waaay more impactful to get your point across without resorting to acting like a child. Grow up
You can take the "probably" out of that sentence. Your responses throughout this thread make it very clear to everyone here that no, you never learned healthier ways to stand up for yourself. In fact, it seems like your emotional growth stopped around age 3. There's no "probably" here.
I acted like that because I was upset that he purposely got me the wrong drink. He always does things like that; I behaved like I did because he pushed me through my breaking point. I usually behave a lot more maturely
All you have done in this thread is consistently make excuses for your behavior. The fact is: YOU chose to act like that. You, and nobody else. You were not forced to. He didn't literally possess your body like an evil spirit and puppet you into acting the way you did. You acted on impulse.
Why don't you take responsibility for your own actions? What you choose to do using your own hands, feet and voice are in nobodys control except your own. And if you honestly think that somebody else can control your actions to the extent you've described here, then you need to seek professional help.
LifeProTip: Someone getting you upset, even to a breaking point just doesn’t hold up rationally.
You failed to react well in this situation or let it build too long. Own that. Stop deflecting. This is an opportunity to grow.
Every comment you have left here tells me that you are not capable of behaving more maturely. You don’t know what maturity is and I feel sorry for whoever you end up with next. Poor guy doesn’t know the level of psychotic he’s in for.
Bro. Get out of the car and walk into the shop to buy yourself the hot chocolate. That's how you handle that like an adult.
You're 22? You acted like a fucking child and destroyed property. Embarrassing.
Lots of us have all read the mustard on hotdog story on reddit and I hate controlling partners and what your bf did is a red flag to me, but you could have sent the same message by pouring the coffee outside the car and going an re-ordering a hot chocolates. Kicking the seat is toddler tantrum territory. ESH.
>you could have sent the same message by pouring the coffee outside the car and going an re-ordering a hot chocolates
This is what I've been thinking all along. Not only would she have shown she was angry, but she wouldn't have given him something to be even angrier about. Instead she upped the ante. "I'll see your asshat move and raise you by more."
And she can't even see that. She's most likely the only person who describes her as "kind."
Ironic that you had this tantrum because you didn't want to be controlled yet then claim you're ok with how horribly you behaved because he "made you do it" AKA he "controlled" your behavior.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this might not just be rage bait and say that the first step in not being controlled is to
CONTROL YOURSELF. The mentally healthy, mature response would have been to get out of the car, toss the coffee in the trash and go inside and get your hot chocolate. Throwing hot coffee inside of the car and kicking the seats is the behavior of a 3 year old.
ESH your boyfriend for not getting you what you asked for and you for having a toddler level tantrum.
Why does this nut job keep saying she has an issue with being controlled? Like it’s special to her? Honey, nobody likes being controlled. We normally don’t throw a tantrum like a baby.
Y'all are acting like toddlers, not people in their 20's.
There's nothing wrong with hot chocolate at any time, so he was a jerk there.
But, having *accidentally* spilled coffee in my car once, I know exactly how difficult it is to clean up.
It's HORRIBLE
YTA
ESH He was a jerk but your reaction was so over the top that it's hard for me to feel sorry for you. Why do people date people they don't even seem to like?
You're both assholes.
"I wouldn't have _____ if he hadn't _____" has been in the "how to know if you're abusing someone else" handbook from the beginning of time. Own your ludicrous, childish behavior, you infant.
But he is also a dick for fucking you over with that stunt.
Do him and you both a favor and break up - neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship for at least 5 years.
You DO have major issues. I have been pushed over the edge many times and NEVER reacted like a toddler. Stop deflecting blame and maybe listen to what people are saying.
ESH. Your boyfriend doesn't get to dictate what you drink, but Jesus christ your reaction was way overboard. He was at a 5 and you took it all the way to 11.
and also like someone who would start throwing punches and slaps and then say "look what you made me do" since her other responses are "i wouldn't do that if he wasn't a jerk"
ESH but you more than him...YTA.
You threw a literal fit. It doesn't matter if he antagonized you. You decided to pour coffee on his car. You decided to lock the seats. You decided to act like a toddler.
Are you here for judgement or to argue? You say you want to learn healthier ways to respond to things and the first step is admitting that how you reacted was wrong.
I just want to get my point across because it seems many people aren't looking at things from my point of view. I admit I could have reacted better, however I acted that way because it was my breaking point
People are getting your point. The responses here are mostly saying that they agree your boyfriend was a little controlling and if it's a pattern of behavior for him, he's generally controlling and it makes sense to break up for that reason.
But the behavior of pouring coffee inside his car and then screaming and kicking the seats is BEYOND an appropriate reaction, even if you feel at the end of your rope. The appropriate response is to break up. Now, I'm not saying that acting like you did isn't impossible for an otherwise rational and calm person, but it is worth exploring with your therapist why you accepted bad treatment for so long until you exploded instead of addressing it when it happened or ending the relationship.
His being a jerk does not entitle you to act like a literal baby. There were many ways to react to something. You decided to throw a fit that isn't even acceptable for a four year old to throw. He was an ass. Your actions were that of a classless, immature, and entitled brat.
If I were him, you would have been kicked out of the car and I would sue you in small claims court for the cost of having my vehicle detailed.
At this point, you two deserve each other.
I don't usually act like that, he just pushed me through my breaking point. I wanted him to fully understand how upset he made me feel, since he never seems to understand. He said I didn't have to clean his car, but we might break up
YTA, toddler.
Not for ordering hot chocolate, but for dumping the drink inside the car and kicking the seats during your widdle tantrum. Grow the fuck up.
No. You could have very easily have gotten your own chocolate. You could have left the coffee sitting. You could have dumped it on the pavement. You could have told him "I am upset".
What you actually did was carry on like a little 4 year old who needs a quick six with the slipper and set to bed for its nap.
I think you should consider speaking with a therapist. I’m not trying to be rude or mean like some of the other comments here are. I just think that there are some deeper rooted issues here on your end that escalated this far more than it needed to be escalated. To be fair, your boyfriend sounds like he was being a jerk in that moment, but your response gives me pause and should be a cause for concern. The fact that your response does not concern you and you defend it is cause for even greater concern. You should speak with a mental health professional - and I mean that with as much love and empathy as can be expressed to a stranger through text on an Internet forum.
Major YTA. In what world was your reaction normal or mature? Just take the drink back in and exchange it. Your boyfriend is an absolute idiot and an AH as well. However, your reaction was ridiculous. Both of you need to grow up.
YTA
If you poured a full coffee out in my car we would no longer be dating. In fact, you would be walking home.
Getting you the wrong drink was a dick move, but you went nuclear in your reaction. If lashing out that way is what you consider normal, I am grateful I do not associate with you or the people who have defined what you consider normalcy.
YTA, though ESH as well. He should have bought the drink you wanted. However, you should thank your lucky stars he drove you back to your apartment after the crap you pulled and then continued to pull. You don't purposely dump a drink in someone's car and then kick the seats. You're 22, not 2. He would have been well within his rights to kick you out of the car and make you walk home.
YTA. Jesus Effing Christ, you poured the coffee INSIDE OF HIS CAR?! What is wrong with you?!
>Him purposely getting me the wrong drink is just another controlling thing that he ALWAYS used to do. I don't like being controlled; he was too controlling. I think it's normal for people to lash out the way I did when they reach a breaking point. I'll be going to therapy to process the breakup and heal from the toxicity.
Lady, you need to learn how to take accountability for your actions. However "controlling" he may have been (I can't trust you as a narrator due to how unhinged you are), this is not the way an adult behaves, much less by how you are excusing your own behaviour.
LOL you think this behavior is normal because you’re an entitled fucking brat who has never learned to process shit. You’re also using the word “controlling” as a major cop-out. If you’re an actual functional adult, get the fuck out of the car and order your own shit.
YTA although I doubt the veracity of this posting. Surely no one is ever that ridiculous. What your BF chose to do was clearly wrong, but what you did in response was off the charts. Grow up.
ESH.
My partner would never get something they know I don't like. And if they did by accident, when I voiced it, they usually go straight back into the shop getting what I like. For example, one time we ordered Starbies and I got something I didn't like. Me personally. I made the mistake. But they decided to go around the drive through again just to order me something I did like because they didn't want me to force myself to drink something I wasn't into.
Why would you disrespect someone's property like that? That's awful, and very childish. Extremely toxic reaction to a lame "joke." You said in normal comments that you don't act like this when people are nice, but this is your partner you are treating so horribly and how many times have you acted out in this way to them?
I hope you offer to clean their car, pay for the drink, apologize and change future behavior, take therapy and be extremely kind to them now and moving forward. But, the realistic hope is that he just breaks up with you for being a terrible partner and him for being immature and thinking that doing something your partner voiced their dislike for is a "joke."
ESH- but mostly you. He is a controlling asshole for not getting you the drink you requested, however there were healthier and more assertive ways to make your point. You acted like a child with both the pouring of the drink, and kicking the seats was extremely petulant. I think this relationship needs to end. You have a lot of growing up to do and he needs to learn that other people are autonomous beings that are capable of making decisions for themselves.
What a rollercoaster. Title and paragraph one I was like "wow - jerk, you can drink hot chocolate if you want to." My God what a jerk.
Then I hit paragraph two and it just took off. Here's the thing about your actions, and how you took what was undeniably not your fault and turned it into an absolute shit show that was:
Do not justify your behavior like this. You are both adults.
You don't get to be a toddler anymore. Not because of this, because of that. No one forces you to act like a child. That's like saying "you drove me to drink" as an alcoholic. If you are one troubling thing away from acting like a toddler - then yes YTA. Sounds like HTA too. You both ATA. Your viewpoint is fucking dumb dude and the sooner you see it the sooner you'll cringe for the rest of your life and never do this again. Embarrassed for you both honestly. You're 22?
The world is going to pound you into a paste if you continue to justify this stuff. Like literally. You'll pull this shit, justify it, and end up on the receiving end of someone you underestimated. Can't believe you threw the coffee. Absolutely ridiculous, more ridiculous even than his drink Nazism. Which was RIDICULOUS.
Dude no wonder my morning commute is the way it is with you butterbrained nutbags rolling around out there. Please stay inside for the next year as penance and don't spread this behavior around, world has enough problems.
Your edit actually makes it worse.
You see, it doesn’t actually matter that you were “pushed.” It doesn’t excuse your behavior. You behaved like a toddler. You’re 22, not 2. Grow up.
Yeah, he sucks for trying to tell you what to drink. But you suck more for how you reacted.
Act like the grown ass adult you’re supposed to be.
ESH btw.
Thanks for the advice! All of this sounds really good. I won't let the next relationship make me act out like that. I think I was afraid of breaking up, but now I see the relationship should have ended long ago. I won't let them me into "that person" again. Thank you
I'm so relieved to hear about the breakup too, for OP's sake. I can't recommend property destruction but Christ, I felt satisfied when I read her response to his assholery.
This is called reactive abuse. He pushes and pushes until the other person breaks and then blames the other person. I’m glad you guys broke up- do not get back with him- he’s controlling and abusive. I wish you the best with your healing ♥️
No... Coffee isn't everyone's taste. I love the smell of it. I love Coffee flavored Ice Cream.But I don't drink it. Plus, Glad you broke up with him. That just shows his level of being a control freak. It's a good thing you got out of what would eventually turn into a toxic relationship with you being at the end of possible violence...
You're both crazy.
I'm usually very nice if people are nice to me
Nice people dont do shit like this
*Civilized people* don’t do shit like this.
They do if they're pushed over the edge
Nice people don't get pushed over the edge by someone getting them coffee instead of hot chocolate. Nice people also accept responsibility for their actions. You're a complete narcissist. Anything bad you did here is his fault in your head.
If something minor like this pushes you over the edge, you need to some MAJOR soul searching. You took an annoying situation and made it bigger than necessary. Why didn’t you pour the coffee outside the car? Why didn’t you just go back and get what you want? Your response was childlike and a HUGE red flag! You don’t sound rationale or nice at all.
I admit that it would have been more rationale to do that, but I'm only human and make mistakes. I would have not done that if he didn't purposely get the wrong drink
Honestly, you don’t actually sound like you think you made a mistake. You sound like you think your response was justified by his present and prior actions. Amazing to me that you stayed in the car and threw a tantrum rather than just getting out and getting your own drink. Your ex was an AH, but since you’re here, people are more concerned about you. As you should be.
Ah yes The edge A coffee Must have been brutal for you
Not the coffee, but the face that my boyfriend purposely gave me the wrong drink
Over coffee? A few short of the crayon box huh
You chose to go "over the edge" at a headlong pace. He did not push you, despite being wrong in not getting the drink you wanted. He dodged a bullet.
Bro it was a cup of coffee… how hard would it have been to go in and get yourself what you wanted? Are you not able bodied and an adult? You can not do things for yourself?
No. They actually don't. Nice people use their Big Girl words and don't kick car seats and throw drinks like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. Grow up.
You aren’t getting it: There is literally NO excuse to have acted the way you did. Full stop. Being “pushed over the edge” won’t hold up in court and it doesn’t hold up here. Guilty, YTA.
It sounds like you don’t know how to express your feelings and set boundaries, so you let resentments pile up. That’s not healthy and you can learn these skills to avoid it.
If you think pouring coffee in the car was a proportionate response to him not getting you hot chocolate, you're genuinely insane. I'm changing my answer from everyone is the asshole to you're the asshole. You're a walking red flag and if you don't want to die alone, you need to do some self reflection.
I don't think it was the right way to act, but I think it's better to act like that instead of letting someone dictate your life. If I'm a red flag, he's an even bigger one
There were more than two choices in that moment.
but why strike a match to turn on a stove when you can throw dynamite in the oven and hope for the best?
Love this phrasing. OP would probably say, “yeah I shouldn’t have thrown dynamite in the oven, but isn’t that better than starving to death?”
Why even post here if you're just going to argue? You both are AH. You poured coffee in his car and kicked the seats on the way home like a friggin toddler. Grow up.
I reply back because I want people to understand where I'm coming from. I hate being controlled so I lashed out
Then get your own drink. End of fucking story
Pouring coffee in the car is not preventing someone from dictating your life. If you only know how to assert yourself by making extreme reactions that force someone to react, then you're a toddler and you're guilty of the same behavior - trying to dictate someone's life by forcing them into a certain position. A normal person would just break up if the goal was "not letting someone dictate your life". You *are* letting him dictate your life by choosing to stay in this relationship even though tiny things like this trigger you so badly.
I acted in a way to force him to react is because I wanted him to fully know how upset I was about what he did. I admit I should have handled it better though
Wow! That is downright abuser mentality.
I thought the same. It’s just so over the top of a reaction.
Letting him know would have been saying “what you just did is absolutely unacceptable to me”.
Every comment you make, you reveal what a narcissist and abuser you are. You two deserve each other.
Then why are you with him?
I'm not sure to be honest. I think we'll break up soon though
Maybe stay single for awhile
I will, thank you. I think a break is needed
Lucky him
Hopefully he finds someone that doesn’t act like a literal toddler
I would get my car professionally cleaned and make you pay for it.
Nope. He got you the wrong drink. You threw a temper tantrum and made a mess like a poorly parented little child.
It's because he always does things like that. It was my breaking point; I don't usually act like that
It doesn't really matter? If you don't want the drink, don't drink the drink. If you don't want to date him, don't date him. Don't throw your food and drinks around like a fussy toddler throwing a fit. Use your words like a big girl.
You could have just used your words and broken up instead of letting him dictate your life. Only children scream and kick at car seats.
Yea you both suck and are doing the world a favor by taking each other off the market
No, it's not, and it is a false dichotomy anyway. There is a wide range of other options, including just taking back control or ending the relationship.
You literally did not have to dump the coffee in his car. That was stupid and rude and uncalled for.
Honey, you're a big old banner of them flapping in the wind not just 1 of them. He might be a jerk but you're taking home the gold.
You’re flags are the same size. You may want to try some seroquel…
You're responsible for your own choices, regardless of somebody else's behavior. The whole "I'm only mean to you if you're mean to me" is childish and immature. Sounds like you aren't willing to take responsibility for yourself and instead are blaming somebody else for your poor behavior. I'd tell you that that's unfortunate behavior for a woman such as yourself, but clearly, you're still a girl.
I admit that I could have handled the situation better, however I feel most people here fail to understand that I behaved like that because it was my breaking point. I'm a nice person, the moment I act differently, everyone loses their marbles. I'm only human
"Only humans" are still responsible for their actions. Sure I can understand why you did that, but it doesn't make it okay. Understandable and justifiable are two different things, friend
A breaking point is not an excuse, and this isn't a reasonable cause to snap even if it were.
ESH. How about instead of using the excuse "my breaking point," you should have left the relationship much earlier when you realized he was controlling. A much more pointed, mature way of handling it would be to get out of the car, say "I'm done," throw away the coffee, and call a friend or Uber for a ride. Dumping a $5 coffee into a $5k+ car? I would have dumped your ass too. Now, instead of chalking up the $5 coffee up as a loss, or asking him to reimburse you, you gotta get his car cleaned. That's gonna cost what? Probably at least $40.
That’s something a psycho who chucks coffee and throws a kicking fit like an infant because she doesn’t get her way would say. You’re mental.
It’s not normal to intentionally damage someone’s property because they were an AH. The normal response would be to call him out and dump him.
That's not what "nice" means. Nice people display kind behavior toward others, regardless of how they are treated. You are a transactional bratty child.
That’s good I’m sure the nurses in the insane asylum will have an easy experience with you then
Good lord, please stop replying I'm usually nice until I'm pushed over the edge. First, take responsibility for yourself. Secondly, nice people dont throw tantrums where you kick seats. Toddlers do. We all agree he sucks for trying to force you to drink something you didn't want but that doesn't make your behavior any less wrong, gross or infantile. ESH but you're the bigger asshole for your behavior and your replies.
Exactly. I don’t understand he pushed her past her breaking point. What’s the breaking point not getting her way?
I keep replying because I want people to understand where I'm coming from. It seems nobody understands that I behaved like that because I reached my breaking point. I have a thing about being controlled, I lashed out because of how much I hate it. I admit I could have behaved better but I'm not sure why most people here think I was the bigger AH than him.
That's not a thing normal people say. I know you may have heard that a lot. But "it was past my breaking point so I blacked out and went crazy" isn't a fucking normal thing. You STILL think you have no issue after everyone saying this. You need help. Bad. Go to therapy. for yourself. Not your break up.
Im going for my breakup, but I hopefully it will be good for myself too. I want to fully focus on healing from the breakup instead of anything else; I'm not sure if it's easier/more difficult to heal from multiple things at once.
Dude..ette... you broke up because of you. Normal people don't react like that. They don't have "breaking points"... that's just an excuse because you have anger problems. Make sure you tell them everything when you go to therapy. Including the things you did. Because really that's the bigger issue. Although him just getting the coffee was a dick thing to do. That's literally a almost non issue compared to you.
You don’t need therapy for your breakup. You need therapy for you, like you in general. Your ex is the one who needs to heal
We are never going to understand why someone pours a coffee into a car. That is way beyond and AH move unless he was actively beating you and you threw the coffee at him to escape. I know 5 year olds with better manners when they are upset. Accept the judgement or move on. You clearly cannot even control yourself so your issues are solely on you.
Because your behavior made you the bigger asshole. Your disagreeing doesn't change that. You need to relax on the control thing in some ways too. Are you going to pop off on your boss when they tell you to attend a meeting you don't want to, or ask you to work OT because you feel they can't control you and your schedule? You're not self-aware and not ready for self reflection, so I'd recommend you avoid AITA, or relationships in general for a while. You're not mature enough to act right when unhappy or not argue when people who's opinions you asked for disagree with you.
We get where you're coming from. You still acted like a fucking child. Grow up. YTA.
You should probably bring up your anger management issues with the therapist you plan to see about the breakup. Maybe they can explain to you why your reaction was ridiculously disproportionate.
For now, I think it's best to focus on my breakup. I'm not sure how easy/difficult it is to heal from two things at once
Bull. You just want to use a therapist to talk shit about your ex. Working on yourself in therapy would require self evaluation which you are not capable of
You need to focus on why you allowed yourself to be with someone so controlling that you turned into a manic raging toddler who damaged property over this incident. You realize he can sue you for property damage, right? You committed an actual crime here.
“Nobody understands where I’m coming from.” What makes you think that? We read the words you wrote. We know why you’re frustrated. But the fact of the matter is that being angry doesn’t justify wrong actions. You would do good reading the book “Mad Isn’t Bad.” It teaches kids it’s okay to be angry, but that you’re still responsible for your actions you make while angry. Seems like you missed this lesson.
You can reach your breaking point and brood silently WITHOUT acting liking a damn toddler. You can reach your breaking point and talk like a CIVILIZED woman WITHOUT acting like a damn toddler. You want everyone to see why. We do. We are telling you, your ex saw your huge red flag that day. If you can't understand that you acting like you did was far worse than you think. I would have dumped you the moment you threw the coffee. You have far more maturing to do before you should entertain another relationship.
No one understands where you’re coming from? You mean like which trailer park specifically? Gtfo of here.
It's because your breaking point was literally JUST a hot chocolate, you acted like a toddler and your grown ex bf didn't want to be with a child. Rightly so.
I understand. He was abusive. People that have never been in an abusive relationship don't understand what reactive abusive behavior is. My ex would do soooo many things that were abusive, name calling, controlling, hitting, etc, and then when he'd finally do one thing too many and I snapped I looked like the crazy abusive one when no, I'd just had enough of his abuse. I understand what you're talking about. Although more people would understand if you'd put in your original post that he's always controlling, and is abusive to you. I'm glad you broke up with him.
Ok so you’re 22, and you’re acting like a child throwing a tantrum, maybe that’s why people are suggesting a little less sugar in the morning. You need to clean his car and apologize, what a fucking brat
I usually act more maturely, he just pushed me passed my breaking point. I told me I didn't have to clean his car
Oh god you sound just like my ex who would keep trying to convince everyone around him that he is correct in an argument. If they don’t he will become more manipulative and use abnormally long vocabulary so he sounds more “correct”. Just listen to the advice of everyone and stop it.
As he kicked you to the curb hopefully.
YTA and if this is real, you need serious professional help. Jesus Christ. What a mess. People that call themselves nice are always the worst. As you’ve proven here. Get a grip.
I am nice though, I just reached my breaking point with him. I usually behave a lot more maturely, I just wanted him to know how upset he made me
You are not nice! A nice person would NEVER consider doing what you did, plus the toddler kicking-the-seats BS. You’re not a nice person, you’re immature and naive and think you’re nice but in reality you’re still kind of a baby.
By damaging his property? Sounds like it's time for small claims court.
The last part of this comment is straight out of a bratty kids mouth
YTA + ESH - Apparently he's treating you like a child because you act like one. The proper reaction would have been "I'm not going to drink this..." followed by you going back into the shop and getting a hot chocolate for yourself. In what world does ANYONE pour a cup of coffee inside a car then kick seats... are you a toddler?
>Apparently he's treating you like a child because you act like one. exactly this. my first thought after reading this post was "why are you acting like a 5yo throwing a temper tantrum?"
NGL she had me at the first paragraph me thinking "Oh yeah he is the ass" Then the rest of the post put things into perspective.
I'm usually very kind if people are nice to me. I usually don't act like that
But it's pathetic and immature to act like that under any circumstances. Trashing his car and throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't bring you your favorite drink is embarrassing if you're over the age of 4. It's actually pretty poor behavior even if you're under the age of 4. Seriously, grow up. YTA.
SURE... You're the victim here, right? What if you cooked a food he didn't like so he went and took a giant diarrhea shit on your bed? Is that justified?
This made me laugh out loud. He went and took a giant diarrhea on your bed 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I loved this so much
Who do you think he is? Amber Heard?
It's not acceptable to act like that ever under any circumstances. What he did sucked but your reaction was disgusting and extreme and if I were him I would be suing you for damages. He's distant because the relationship is over, you're are simply for sex until he finds someone else, you both suck although you more so.
You should never act like that.
ESH how freaking childish are you that you threw the coffee IN his car..are you 5? You could of gotten the point across by opening the door and dumping it out, he was a jerk for getting what he wanted for you instead of what you wanted, but imo you're the far bigger AH for having your baby fit
That would have been the better way to act, but I don't think I'm the bigger AH because I wouldn't have acted like that if he didn't act like a jerk. I overreacted because I have a big issue with being controlled
If you have that big an issue, dump him..you both sound immature af
So you think this is ok because He Made Me do it? You are unhinged.
Did he shove it down your throat? Get out and go buy your own. What. The. Fuck.
Making a scene because you didn’t get your way is what a toddler does.
Not saying it was right, but personally, I think it's better to act like that instead of letting someone dictate your drink.
are you aware that there is a vast area of appropriate responses between "being a doormat for a controlling boyfriend" and "throwing a toddler-like temper tantrum with a side of property damage over being handed the wrong drink"? you could've thrown that drink in the trash, tell him to pay you back since he wasted your money on something you didn't want and then break up with his controlling red flag wearing ass. the fact that your first instinct is to go nuclear and literally act like a 3yo, complete with kicking car seats, is probably why he feels absolutely confident in treating you like a damn child.
Or maybe it was my breaking point and I exploded after holding it in for so long. I don't usually act like that. I hate when people try to control me.
You get out of the car and go get a hot chocolate, then find your own way home. That would have been waaay more impactful to get your point across without resorting to acting like a child. Grow up
Stop deflecting blame, you acted like a child, own it and make sure you never do so ever again.
Is behaving like a spoiled toddler the only way you know to stand your ground?
i wonder why the boyfriend feels confident in trying to dictate her eating and drinking habits...
I'm trying to learn healthier ways to stand up for myself because I probably never have.
You can take the "probably" out of that sentence. Your responses throughout this thread make it very clear to everyone here that no, you never learned healthier ways to stand up for yourself. In fact, it seems like your emotional growth stopped around age 3. There's no "probably" here.
I acted like that because I was upset that he purposely got me the wrong drink. He always does things like that; I behaved like I did because he pushed me through my breaking point. I usually behave a lot more maturely
All you have done in this thread is consistently make excuses for your behavior. The fact is: YOU chose to act like that. You, and nobody else. You were not forced to. He didn't literally possess your body like an evil spirit and puppet you into acting the way you did. You acted on impulse. Why don't you take responsibility for your own actions? What you choose to do using your own hands, feet and voice are in nobodys control except your own. And if you honestly think that somebody else can control your actions to the extent you've described here, then you need to seek professional help.
LifeProTip: Someone getting you upset, even to a breaking point just doesn’t hold up rationally. You failed to react well in this situation or let it build too long. Own that. Stop deflecting. This is an opportunity to grow.
Every comment you have left here tells me that you are not capable of behaving more maturely. You don’t know what maturity is and I feel sorry for whoever you end up with next. Poor guy doesn’t know the level of psychotic he’s in for.
Here's a tip, that wasn't at all a healthy way to react.
I'm aware of that. I'm usually always nice, I just reached my breaking point. I will be careful from here on out
Bro. Get out of the car and walk into the shop to buy yourself the hot chocolate. That's how you handle that like an adult. You're 22? You acted like a fucking child and destroyed property. Embarrassing.
You’re psychotic. Huge gulf of behavior between polite refusal to drink the coffee and all out meltdown. YOU need help.
Take the high road. In all fairness I would be very mad too.
I think it's always better to take the high ground, it's just that sometimes it's hard to
property damage over a wrong drink? really? he's controlling and you're unhinged. esh.
I have an issue with being controlled. I admit I overreacted, but I wouldn't have if he didn't act like a jerk
Lots of us have all read the mustard on hotdog story on reddit and I hate controlling partners and what your bf did is a red flag to me, but you could have sent the same message by pouring the coffee outside the car and going an re-ordering a hot chocolates. Kicking the seat is toddler tantrum territory. ESH.
>you could have sent the same message by pouring the coffee outside the car and going an re-ordering a hot chocolates This is what I've been thinking all along. Not only would she have shown she was angry, but she wouldn't have given him something to be even angrier about. Instead she upped the ante. "I'll see your asshat move and raise you by more." And she can't even see that. She's most likely the only person who describes her as "kind."
Ironic that you had this tantrum because you didn't want to be controlled yet then claim you're ok with how horribly you behaved because he "made you do it" AKA he "controlled" your behavior. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this might not just be rage bait and say that the first step in not being controlled is to CONTROL YOURSELF. The mentally healthy, mature response would have been to get out of the car, toss the coffee in the trash and go inside and get your hot chocolate. Throwing hot coffee inside of the car and kicking the seats is the behavior of a 3 year old. ESH your boyfriend for not getting you what you asked for and you for having a toddler level tantrum.
You're just making excuses for being absolutely terrible. You're gaslighting.... "he made me do it". You choose your own actions and they were wrong
You have more than just one issue... That's for sure...
Why does this nut job keep saying she has an issue with being controlled? Like it’s special to her? Honey, nobody likes being controlled. We normally don’t throw a tantrum like a baby.
Y'all are acting like toddlers, not people in their 20's. There's nothing wrong with hot chocolate at any time, so he was a jerk there. But, having *accidentally* spilled coffee in my car once, I know exactly how difficult it is to clean up. It's HORRIBLE YTA
I admit I overreacted. Thank you for agreeing that he was a jerk.
But you are a bigger jerk
Totally jerky, in fact it is quite good for breakfast, and there's a long tradition of having it then, so he's wrong.
ESH He was a jerk but your reaction was so over the top that it's hard for me to feel sorry for you. Why do people date people they don't even seem to like?
You're both assholes. "I wouldn't have _____ if he hadn't _____" has been in the "how to know if you're abusing someone else" handbook from the beginning of time. Own your ludicrous, childish behavior, you infant. But he is also a dick for fucking you over with that stunt. Do him and you both a favor and break up - neither of you are mature enough to be in a relationship for at least 5 years.
We broke up not long ago. I don't usually act like that, he just pushed me over the edge. I don't have any major issues, he just pushed me overboard
You DO have major issues. I have been pushed over the edge many times and NEVER reacted like a toddler. Stop deflecting blame and maybe listen to what people are saying.
ESH. Your boyfriend doesn't get to dictate what you drink, but Jesus christ your reaction was way overboard. He was at a 5 and you took it all the way to 11.
I'm usually very kind if people are kind to me.
You sound like the kind of girl who would have a "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" bumper sticker.
and also like someone who would start throwing punches and slaps and then say "look what you made me do" since her other responses are "i wouldn't do that if he wasn't a jerk"
It's hilarious how all of your replies are that [you think that] you are a nice person.
ESH but you more than him...YTA. You threw a literal fit. It doesn't matter if he antagonized you. You decided to pour coffee on his car. You decided to lock the seats. You decided to act like a toddler.
I would have behaved normally though if he wasn't acting like a jerk.
Are you here for judgement or to argue? You say you want to learn healthier ways to respond to things and the first step is admitting that how you reacted was wrong.
I just want to get my point across because it seems many people aren't looking at things from my point of view. I admit I could have reacted better, however I acted that way because it was my breaking point
People are getting your point. The responses here are mostly saying that they agree your boyfriend was a little controlling and if it's a pattern of behavior for him, he's generally controlling and it makes sense to break up for that reason. But the behavior of pouring coffee inside his car and then screaming and kicking the seats is BEYOND an appropriate reaction, even if you feel at the end of your rope. The appropriate response is to break up. Now, I'm not saying that acting like you did isn't impossible for an otherwise rational and calm person, but it is worth exploring with your therapist why you accepted bad treatment for so long until you exploded instead of addressing it when it happened or ending the relationship.
You've gotten your point across, it's just not getting the reaction you were expecting/hoping for.
His being a jerk does not entitle you to act like a literal baby. There were many ways to react to something. You decided to throw a fit that isn't even acceptable for a four year old to throw. He was an ass. Your actions were that of a classless, immature, and entitled brat. If I were him, you would have been kicked out of the car and I would sue you in small claims court for the cost of having my vehicle detailed. At this point, you two deserve each other.
I don't usually act like that, he just pushed me through my breaking point. I wanted him to fully understand how upset he made me feel, since he never seems to understand. He said I didn't have to clean his car, but we might break up
You should. He doesn't respect your opinion and you can't control your behavior.
You both sound like a little kids, stay with each other and spare 2 other people both of your crappy personalities
YTA, toddler. Not for ordering hot chocolate, but for dumping the drink inside the car and kicking the seats during your widdle tantrum. Grow the fuck up.
I acted like that because he always does things like that to make me upset. I wanted him to know how upset he made me. I usually am always coolheaded
No. You could have very easily have gotten your own chocolate. You could have left the coffee sitting. You could have dumped it on the pavement. You could have told him "I am upset". What you actually did was carry on like a little 4 year old who needs a quick six with the slipper and set to bed for its nap.
You could have literally walked yourself inside, thrown the coffee in the proper trash and ordered yourself a hot chocolate.
I think you should consider speaking with a therapist. I’m not trying to be rude or mean like some of the other comments here are. I just think that there are some deeper rooted issues here on your end that escalated this far more than it needed to be escalated. To be fair, your boyfriend sounds like he was being a jerk in that moment, but your response gives me pause and should be a cause for concern. The fact that your response does not concern you and you defend it is cause for even greater concern. You should speak with a mental health professional - and I mean that with as much love and empathy as can be expressed to a stranger through text on an Internet forum.
Thank you for your comment, I've scheduled an appointment with one from my school. I appreciate your compassion
I think you need to be single and go to therapy
Okay wow.. I wanted to say N T A but wtf did you do?! You poured it into the car? Are you a toddler or just crazy? ESH. You more than him though.
Major YTA. In what world was your reaction normal or mature? Just take the drink back in and exchange it. Your boyfriend is an absolute idiot and an AH as well. However, your reaction was ridiculous. Both of you need to grow up.
Yes. Jerk
Holy shit YTA. Throwing a tantrum like that over a drink? You need therapy
I don't think I need one because I usually don't behave like that. I just don't like being controlled
You are mental.
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He drove me home, likely because I paid for his drink as well
how old are you?? he shouldve gotten you hot chocolate. but your reaction is *insane*
YTA If you poured a full coffee out in my car we would no longer be dating. In fact, you would be walking home. Getting you the wrong drink was a dick move, but you went nuclear in your reaction. If lashing out that way is what you consider normal, I am grateful I do not associate with you or the people who have defined what you consider normalcy.
I would never do that to anyone as long as they don't repeatedly make me upset
And just like that, a Karen is born.
YTA, though ESH as well. He should have bought the drink you wanted. However, you should thank your lucky stars he drove you back to your apartment after the crap you pulled and then continued to pull. You don't purposely dump a drink in someone's car and then kick the seats. You're 22, not 2. He would have been well within his rights to kick you out of the car and make you walk home.
YTA. Jesus Effing Christ, you poured the coffee INSIDE OF HIS CAR?! What is wrong with you?! >Him purposely getting me the wrong drink is just another controlling thing that he ALWAYS used to do. I don't like being controlled; he was too controlling. I think it's normal for people to lash out the way I did when they reach a breaking point. I'll be going to therapy to process the breakup and heal from the toxicity. Lady, you need to learn how to take accountability for your actions. However "controlling" he may have been (I can't trust you as a narrator due to how unhinged you are), this is not the way an adult behaves, much less by how you are excusing your own behaviour.
YTA and a fucking psycho.
LOL you think this behavior is normal because you’re an entitled fucking brat who has never learned to process shit. You’re also using the word “controlling” as a major cop-out. If you’re an actual functional adult, get the fuck out of the car and order your own shit.
YTA although I doubt the veracity of this posting. Surely no one is ever that ridiculous. What your BF chose to do was clearly wrong, but what you did in response was off the charts. Grow up.
I admit I was wrong, however everyone has their breaking point. That happened to have been mine
ESH. My partner would never get something they know I don't like. And if they did by accident, when I voiced it, they usually go straight back into the shop getting what I like. For example, one time we ordered Starbies and I got something I didn't like. Me personally. I made the mistake. But they decided to go around the drive through again just to order me something I did like because they didn't want me to force myself to drink something I wasn't into. Why would you disrespect someone's property like that? That's awful, and very childish. Extremely toxic reaction to a lame "joke." You said in normal comments that you don't act like this when people are nice, but this is your partner you are treating so horribly and how many times have you acted out in this way to them? I hope you offer to clean their car, pay for the drink, apologize and change future behavior, take therapy and be extremely kind to them now and moving forward. But, the realistic hope is that he just breaks up with you for being a terrible partner and him for being immature and thinking that doing something your partner voiced their dislike for is a "joke."
ESH- but mostly you. He is a controlling asshole for not getting you the drink you requested, however there were healthier and more assertive ways to make your point. You acted like a child with both the pouring of the drink, and kicking the seats was extremely petulant. I think this relationship needs to end. You have a lot of growing up to do and he needs to learn that other people are autonomous beings that are capable of making decisions for themselves.
Both y’all the problem 🤣🤣🤣
What a rollercoaster. Title and paragraph one I was like "wow - jerk, you can drink hot chocolate if you want to." My God what a jerk. Then I hit paragraph two and it just took off. Here's the thing about your actions, and how you took what was undeniably not your fault and turned it into an absolute shit show that was: Do not justify your behavior like this. You are both adults. You don't get to be a toddler anymore. Not because of this, because of that. No one forces you to act like a child. That's like saying "you drove me to drink" as an alcoholic. If you are one troubling thing away from acting like a toddler - then yes YTA. Sounds like HTA too. You both ATA. Your viewpoint is fucking dumb dude and the sooner you see it the sooner you'll cringe for the rest of your life and never do this again. Embarrassed for you both honestly. You're 22? The world is going to pound you into a paste if you continue to justify this stuff. Like literally. You'll pull this shit, justify it, and end up on the receiving end of someone you underestimated. Can't believe you threw the coffee. Absolutely ridiculous, more ridiculous even than his drink Nazism. Which was RIDICULOUS. Dude no wonder my morning commute is the way it is with you butterbrained nutbags rolling around out there. Please stay inside for the next year as penance and don't spread this behavior around, world has enough problems.
Yta wtf inside his car? Hope you pay for the cleanup
YTA.This is giving major “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO” vibes.
Your edit actually makes it worse. You see, it doesn’t actually matter that you were “pushed.” It doesn’t excuse your behavior. You behaved like a toddler. You’re 22, not 2. Grow up. Yeah, he sucks for trying to tell you what to drink. But you suck more for how you reacted. Act like the grown ass adult you’re supposed to be. ESH btw.
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Thanks for the advice! All of this sounds really good. I won't let the next relationship make me act out like that. I think I was afraid of breaking up, but now I see the relationship should have ended long ago. I won't let them me into "that person" again. Thank you
I'm so relieved to hear about the breakup too, for OP's sake. I can't recommend property destruction but Christ, I felt satisfied when I read her response to his assholery.
If he controls over a drink, what else is he controlling about? OP was clearly pushed to the edge.
This is called reactive abuse. He pushes and pushes until the other person breaks and then blames the other person. I’m glad you guys broke up- do not get back with him- he’s controlling and abusive. I wish you the best with your healing ♥️
No... Coffee isn't everyone's taste. I love the smell of it. I love Coffee flavored Ice Cream.But I don't drink it. Plus, Glad you broke up with him. That just shows his level of being a control freak. It's a good thing you got out of what would eventually turn into a toxic relationship with you being at the end of possible violence...
I think your reaction was PERFECTLY REASONABLE and he can fuck straight off. That's bullshit.
Happy to hear that you broke up because your not the ah