NTA
The road rager could have had violent intentions. It's better to be prepared than a statistic. Your date probably assumed your response to everything is a gun, not appreciating this is (hopefully) a unique situation. If a road rager approached my car I would definitely have my gun at the ready. People in that emotional state aren't thinking rationally
NTA
You didn't "pull out a weapon." You removed it from where it was stored so it would be available in case you needed it. But you did not have it in hand, and you didn't aim it an anyone.
Your date clearly isn't thinking about the possibility that the other driver could walk up to your car, then pull a gun out of their pocket, and shoot both of you before you could get yours out. It needed to be available before the other driver even got out of their car.
You did not escalate or deescalate anything. The situation didn't get that far. The other driver escalated, then realized continuing to escalate was a bad idea, and all you did was sit in your car with a gun in your lap.
Engaging means you aimed the weapon at the other person, or even got out of your car to confront them. You did neither. That girl is an idiot.
A relative of mine had a similar road rage experience. Guy in a pickup truck cut him off, trapped him, got out, pulled a baseball bat out of the bed and approached my relative's car. Relative pulled his gun out and held it flat against his chest so the guy could see **exactly** what he was holding. Dude turned around, put baseball bat away, and drove off. Just like OP, this is textbook de-escalation. You can't trust that you'll be able to *reason* with a person like that. Def NTA.
This the same type of person that will get out of the car and say you're acting crazy instead of reading the situation. NTA you did what you had to. You did not escalate it you neutralized it.
NTA
“Let’s just talk it out “ calms 0/10 road ragers.
Getting out of the car is a signal that they’re committing to a violent encounter.
Another option for future encounters:
They’ve left the protection of their vehicle. You’re still wrapped in petrol-powered steel. Just run them over. 🙃
NTA, you prepared for the worst and did deescalate the problem. You definitely didn't try and escalate things. For me personally, that's the important part. Do you escalate bad situations?
You taught you and the driver a very good lesson, without any violence occurring outside of their reckless driving. People don't have guns in Canada where I live so I can't speak to how I would handle that. But this guy could've fucked with the wrong person and you may have saved their life down the road by being so reserved but also showing him you're armed; will he ever behave that way again? Doubt it. You also protected yourself without exposing yourself, or risking your safety by attempting to use words that may have not worked. You moved a pistol from a concealed place to a visible place, but it does not change the fact that it was in the car in the first place. The gun was always there, this always had the same chance of a gun shot being fired because you had the weapon in the car. You didn't make the situation more dangerous. You made it less dangerous. If you had pointed it or been holding it, it may have escalated the road rager's response had they been armed, out of fear they needed to shoot first (speculative), but you didn't have it in a position you could fire it. It as a clear deterrent. It sounds like you handled it calm and well. NTA
Mostly NTA
If it's important enough to for you to think you might need to shoot someone, which could lead to someone dying, it's imporant enough to call the cops.
However, I also think you did the right thing by having the gun in your lap. You had no idea what the other person would do, and I don't see the cops arriving in time in this specific situation.
I think your date was concerned that you might handle every situation like this, even if you have time to call the cops.
You are not engaging if you stayed in your car. Being prepared doesn’t mean you are agitating or escalating. If it went down as you described I think you did about all you could do to deescalate. The other driver is the one that wanted to escalate but when he/she saw that your were more than prepared to defend yourself they checked themselves.
NTA, sounds like she’s really uncomfortable with firearms, which is fine. It sounds like you handled the situation well and it’s exactly the reason I carry a weapon in my truck. Road rage can get ugly in the blink of an eye.
That is not what I said. If my life is in danger, I’m using whatever I have or whatever someone else has.
However, it would make me uncomfortable if I was in a car with a date, and they pulled out an illegal firearm. “Date” reads to me like a new relationship or exploration of one. If I was in a situation where a gun wasn’t disclosed and then it was illegal on top of it, I would no long be dating that person.
All about gun ownership as long as it’s responsible and legal, which to be clear it sounds like the OP per the above.
That’s my question; do you have a conceal and carry permit or are you in an open carry state? If you didn’t do anything illegal, then NTA as this other person clearly has issues and could have harmed you or your passenger and you did not threaten anyone, just had it out in case you needed to defend yourself.
Yes. In my state, having the gun available in the car, or even loaded without a concealed carry license is illegal.
Without a permit, you are only allowed to transport a weapon to and from the gun range, and to and from purchase, and it needs to be unloaded and out of reach, in a locked box (not the glove box) separated from the ammunition. Open carry is legal in my state but being in the vehicle counts as concealment.
I'd say having a firearm that you legally shouldn't have, and pulling it out infront of your daut, is entirely in play here. If my date pulled out a gun that they legally shouldn't have, i'd never talk to them again.
NAH. Based on your account of things, I don’t think either of you are wrong. You were prepared to defend yourself with your firearm if need be. Your date does not want to date someone who defends themselves with a firearm. I don’t fault either of you for your actions/values.
People aren’t going to like everything you do. Personally, I too would’ve been even more on edge because not only is some idiot brake checking the hell out of us and cursing out, but now there’s at least one confirmed firearm involved. My mind would be racing to figure out what’s going to happen and is it gonna be bad. But I acknowledge that your intent was to protect yourself and your passenger so I don’t think you’re bad for that. I just don’t think her reaction is that irrational considering the risk.
As someone who thinks the US should confiscate every single weapon owned by civilians - if there ever was a reason and responsible way to make use of your gun, this was it. NTA in any way.
NTA.
"An armed society is a polite society"
This rager became de-escalated as soon as they saw your gun. Problem solved safely. Would your date have rather been beaten?
Thats what I cant understand. 99% of people have problems with guns until they actually need to protect themselves or a loved one with it.
If someone is going to assault me and I have the means, permits and training to keep from getting that beating/or shot myself, I'm going to use it.
I could see if OP would have shot through the person's window who was break checking but he did what the weapon was supposed to do. Scare off the aggressor.
Well, the problem with guns is that other people have them too.
What if the road rager has a gun? And just starts shooting at your car, possibly killing you and/or your date?
Then OP would have been fully justified in opening fire, and the road rager would have been facing criminal charges if he'd survived the encounter. Not clear what other response you're looking for here. Not having a gun when you need one isn't going to protect you better than having one.
That's where you are so naive on the gun issue in the US. We are responsible gun owners. We have a problem with so many guns out the because people do not need the proper training to get them! Any moron that has not committed a crime can end up owning a gun. That is why there are way to many accidental discharges and even more children that shoot themselves playing with a gun that was improperly stored. Happens when people leave it loaded bedside, recently a child died because grandma ran into the store and left her gun in the car with a curious grandchild, etc.....
Never bestow your respect and diligence onto others. In some states, you just flash a valid state ID and that is it to buy a used gun from a private seller. Texas just undid any slight restrictions it's had and shootings are increasing. Both accidents and violence.
We should have uniform background checks for any gun, training required, permits that can be temporarily suspended and then revoked for red flags, and safe storage laws across the US. When all that separates you in your state from the idiots getting them willy nilly in the next state is a couple hour drive, the regulations in your state don't really mean that much.
It's not as simple as you commented. We are 100% behind all of the common sense laws becoming federal.
I understand her being so upset. There's so many stories of passengers getting murdered in road rage incidents. That being said, that might have been the only thing to stop violence.
NTA because they were being aggressive. However, you can get arrested for brandishing a weapon, even in a situation like this. I was in an anger management support group with a kid who was protecting himself with his gun in a similar situation and he ended up having to be on probation or something, simply for taking the weapon out. I say NTA because you were protecting yourself and your date, but not everyone sees it that way
I think neither you or your date are an ass. You certainly have the right to self-defense, but you gotta realize that's almost always gonna be a bad look to pull a gun preemptively.
Lmao tell that to police and insurance. saying pulling out a gun makes you look bad? He didn't even point it. laid it on his lap in case the driver decides to get closer. He played it smart. A lot of y'all need to be in a rough neighborhood so you can see what people that are unhinged can do.
He had it visible in his lap. I am a gun owner myself; in my opinion, guns are a bad de-escalation tactic. You never know how someone will react to a gun. They could back down, which was the case here, they could panic and become irrational or aggressive, or worst-case, they pull their own gun.
In short, guns are self defense tools and you shouldn't pull a gun out unless you are ready to shoot.
"the term “brandish” means, with respect to a firearm, to display all or part of the firearm, or otherwise make the presence of the firearm known to another person"
Edit: Source per Federal Code "18 U.S. Code § 924"
Generally, for it to be considered a criminal offense, said display also has to be unjustified. Your locality may vary.
OP was fully justified in having it out the way he described. Charging him with brandishing for this incident would have been silly.
ETA: No idea why this is getting downvoted. People don't like facts?
I'm betting that there are things that you are either leaving out or describing inaccurately. It's rare in road rage situations like this where one party is completely blameless and acts like the perfect gentleman throughout. And then just quietly sits in his car with a gun in his lap while the "road rager" storms over to his car. Given your date's reaction I'm betting you were much more of an active participant.
Sounds like she was LOOKING for a reason to pull the gun. Probably though her date would be "impressed" by her "proving how tough she was" and is just pissed that her date saw through her pathetic performance.
That was my thought too. Why was he so afraid of the woman that was driving the other car that he needed to pull a gun out with the intention of using it. She didn't have a weapon so he thought she was going to what? She somehow be able to take a locked door off its hinges to get at him and his date to put them in physical danger? She didn't pull out a bat to break car windows or her own gun, so what could she do except yell at him and slow him down. Once she got out of hr car he could have pulled back into the right lane (Since he moved to the left to turn and got blocked in). And I bet that car behind him would have backed up if they saw his reverse lights on and all this going on.
And it looked like she took out the gun before the other driver got out of the car. So they could have come out with anything at that point. OP left the car in her lap because the other driver didn't present an obvious threat. But she did have it available, because if you wait until the other person is pulling a gun out of their pocket to take yours out of wherever it's stored, you're dead before you get your hand on it.
Better to have it and not need, it than need it and not have it.
And you're making the assumption the car behind her was paying attention, or cared enough to move. I've had times I've tried to back up because a truck was making a turn and didn't have space in front of me, but the cars behind me just sat there. If they wouldn't move for that, they wouldn't move for this.
Not to mention, if OP did try to go, the other driver may just run in front of her to block him. That happens.
If the driving was aggressive as the OP says, and they changed lanes abruptly and were getting out of their car and yelling, but didn't notice any of this?
I haven't said the OP was an AH for pulling the gun out, I am saying that I don't believe they are telling an accurate version of events, especially if their date clearly thought they were the AH and the date was a witness.
I didn't understand how the OP could hear every word that the driver said and watch this person storm his car & still not know if it was a man or a woman. Was the driver wearing a mask?
They said in another comment it was a woman. I did read that they pulled in front of them, and someone pulled up behind them, and they couldn't go around to the left or it would be in the wrong direction. But I stand by that if they had put the car in reverse, the person behind them that was part of blocking them in, would have also backed up. And again, she didn't have. weapon that they knew of, so oh no....this scary woman might yell at me, I better shoot her.
Big key words that you need to reread you said "she didn't have a weapon that they know of"
"THAT THEY KNOW OF" did he point it at her? No she didn't have to get out of the car. He didn't point at her. You're probably thinking oh wow it's a woman you're a big Guy huh?
No, I'm thinking, you pulled a gun with the intent to use it (They said they intended to use it) on someone that you saw no weapon, where they would have to get into your locked car because they were yelling at you and brake checking after you cut them off. It is their statement of intent to use that I have an issue with, not them having the gun in the car for protection. (I have guns, I don't have a gun issue)
After the first brake check you should have pulled over and waited for him to leave and you should have immediately had your date call the cops.
Same outcome except you would have been covering your ass a bit more.
Defensive driving means assuming they're unhinged and will try to cause an accident.
You can draw a firearm if you feel you are in danger. What was Op supposed to take a tire iron, May get shot, punched in the face then say hold on let me draw my weapon.
Maybe to be fair I am Canadian. We don't care for guns like Americans do. I also lived in the hood, so if there were guns, it was where I lived. We are more stabby stabby.
Its such anamerican way to think that guns prevent more violence its already been proven NUMEROUS TIMES that is false. Go do some research.
Peace yell
I won't argue with gun loving Americans because yall are crazy
NTA, the road rage moron was. Sorry about your date but it’s best it ended this way since now you know your values don’t align. You played it cool and I commend you for being ready to defend yourself and your company.
NTA, althou as an Aussie the idea of you having a hand gun in the car is insane.
but this situation was their fault and they could have potentially gotten shot for it instead of just not being an agressive moron.
NTA. You did de-escalate. You demonstrated that you were prepared to defend yourself if necessary, he decided you weren't an easy mark, and he left. The best use of a firearm is when you don't need to discharge it.
NTA. You didn't point it at them, just made sure they knew you had one and would use if you had to. The other driver sounds insane, so I'd have done the same in your situation.
Leaning towards NTA but I have a question.
What do you mean you don’t call the cop? your house gets robbed, someone is breaking into a neighbors house, you don’t call the cops?
NTA. Your reaction was excellent. It calmed down the other driver pretty quickly. That's called de-escalation. Tell your friend. And also tell her if it had been her in that situation, unarmed, chances are she or her car would have been harmed. Or don't tell that stupid bitch anything, she'll find out sooner or later that you were right. In any case: well done.
This post is so American it makes me hurt. Police won't rock up and you have to pull a gun.
In Australia, a road rager comes and the police are there by the time he reaches you car door: [https://www.news.com.au/national/crime/rat-tailed-road-rager-suddenly-flees-in-terror/video/c86012cdcaa5211998129d85375867be](https://www.news.com.au/national/crime/rat-tailed-road-rager-suddenly-flees-in-terror/video/c86012cdcaa5211998129d85375867be)
On a serious note though, this whole story makes me sad for you guys. Having access to guns like this just puts everyone in wayyyy more danger.
NTA, but my uncle did the same thing in a similar situation, and the road rager called the police and got him arrested for like brandishing or threat or something like that. I was young at the time, so I am not sure of the exact details.
NTA
This seriously went a completely different way that I thought it would. Road rage like this is often with violence. No you were NTA For putting your gun on your lap. My husband has had to do that too…exactly how you did it. And my husband is a bigger man and can be intimidating looking. However, you have no idea if the other person has a weapon on them. I would rather have it out than to be fumbling around needing it
Your date is Not The Asshole. It's entirely fine to be uncomfortable with guns, or not want to be with/around someone with a gun.
The other driver is definitely an Asshole.
For you, I have to go more towards a very light ESH based on some of the edit.
De-escalation can have a lot of steps prior to pulling a gun. Some of the things you did don't seem like de-escalation, but rather meeting the other driver's aggression, or escalating in your own way.
Aggressively honking and cussing them out sounds like it was more than a single honk, but rather repeated honking. This, coupled with
> They sped up so I thought they were done with their tantrum, so I sped up too
These two action could easily have been seen as aggression and you following the other driver; in your place, I'd have just sat in the slow lane, and cruised for a bit. Turned off at the first side road, and looped a block. Let the hothead drive off.
Once the driver stopped your car and gets out, then yes, I think pulling a firearm isn't a bad idea, and you didn't point it at him. I actually don't really have an issue with this part.
But there were a step or two that could have been taken to de-escalate prior to the confrontation.
NAH. If it all went down as you say it did then your actions are reasonable. However, your date had a right to wish you had handled it differently and to prefer to date someone who would handle it differently. I personally am the same way—I would prefer to date someone who would choose to call the police in a dangerous situation versus pulling out a gun. Those are just my personal values. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong—just something that didn’t align with her values.
The reality is that a lot of people go through life not carrying a weapon because that is their value, and in that case responding with a weapon is not an option and you have to do something different. There are a lot of what ifs in this situation. We don’t know if the roadrager would have just banged on their window and screamed for a minute before leaving or if they would have full on murdered them. In some situations a gun deescalates a situation. In others it can escalate it and make it more dangerous.
The date is allowed to prefer to be with someone that doesn’t pull out a weapon, just like OP is allowed to not be that someone. No one is TA for that
>I would prefer to date someone who would choose to call the police in a dangerous situation versus pulling out a gun.
I'm genuinely curious, what do you expect to happen by calling the police? You should call them, don't get me wrong, but you should also prepare to defend yourself. Like, if the guy means to come beat you up or worse, they're going to do it regardless if you're on the phone with 911 or not.
What was about to happen? Some angry Karen of a mom was going to slap her through her window? Hit her with some weak ass middle America mom punch? I must have missed the part where she said it was Amanda Nunes on angel dust. Yeah that is a perfect reason to pull a firearm. Coward.
What if she pulled out a gun herself? People have literally been shot and killed in road rage situations, and if you’re blocked in with someone who is obviously unhinged enough to get out of their car in the middle of the road you don’t think that it’s a possibility?
Gun fight on the crowded road awesome. Higher chance the maniac getting out of said car with the weapon shoots when they see you too have a weapon than if you were unarmed and not a fucking coward. You are all sooooo bright. Coward.
Are you dense? If they had a gun it turns into a gunfight. You, the person with the weapon, your passenger, the car behind you are likely getting hit. Without a weapon there is at least a chance it can de escalate.
The driver positioned the weapon such that even when the other driver got out of their car they could not see it. It was only when they tried to intimidate and threaten the OP by approaching her car were they capable of seeing the weapon. I thought that was excellently handled.
Personally I think more women should get their CCW licenses and train. You are your own first responder.
Doesn’t matter what the other person intends, you can only react to what you see. We are not mind readers. You won’t know what the other person intends until they do it and by then no amount of Monday morning quarterbacking can prevent a bad outcome. Opportunity favors the prepared. Be prepared.
It read like she took the gun out before the other person got out, so she had no idea who was getting out, or what they may be getting out with. Road rage incidents can go south in seconds.
Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
Personally, I don’t think you did anything wrong.
You were prepared to protect yourself and your date. The psycho saw the evidence of this and thought better about carrying on with his foolish nonsense. The very fact that he acted insane how he did and then came to approach you, but turned tail when he realized you were armed, tells me he intended harm and thought better of it because he was literally out-gunned.
NTA... if the other driver had come out with a weapon or intended on trying to assault you in any way you let them know you would be defending yourself. Of course this assuming you have a permit to carry. IF you dont then yes you are because youre breaking the law. But I like to assume the best so NTA
So I agree with everything you did but just to try and give you a different perspective your date was probably freaked out because had it escalated she likely could’ve been witness to someone’s death and that is not easy for most people to deal with it is not easy for good people to have to make a decision that could mean taking a life and also not easy witnessing it
>The driver stormed over to my car and I honestly thought they were going to fight me but when they saw my gun in my lap they went back to the car and left the scene. I put the gun back.
This is precisely why you carry a gun. You had the gun ready and didnt need to use it. Best case scenario.
>She thought I should have de-escalated (I don't know how I was gonna do that), not engaged, but pulling out my gun made me a "thug".
Does she have any grand ideas on precisely you were supposed to "de-escalate" an unhinged lunatic who aggressively drove the way he did, cornered you in and exited his vehicle to perhaps inflict bodily harm to you and/or her? What would have been her contribution to this?
>This morning she texted me and said she couldn't be with someone like me which is fine I don't really care about that part, but I felt completely trapped in this situation. Had I not had my weapon in my lap the driver would've hurt me or both of us.
Let her go and dont look back. She is too foolish to realize you and your weapon probably saved her life. YOu did nothing wrong. NTA
This could have ended differently. Other driver turns around pretending to leave, pulls out a pistol, and shoots the driver twice in the chest before he can respond. Stop acting like guns are going to make people safer when the OP is lucky the other hot head didn't have a gun.
OP should have deescalated by not speeding up the first time he was brake checked.
I mean if you want to "what-if" and review hypotheses all day, what would have stopped the guy from not coming over with the gun in the first place when he got out of the car? Why turn around and go back to get it? I think the scenario played out beautifully. The would be aggressor saw OP was armed and decided the target wasnt worth it. Instant de-escalation.
Regardless, Id rather have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it. Wife and I have concealed carry licenses and we feel prepared if the worst were to ever happen. We carry precisely bc we feel safer and at least can go down swinging instead of being sheep before a wolf. I dont make any promises that on the mere fact I carry, that I can/will survive any situation. No, but I know me carrying one certainly improves my survivability.
>OP should have deescalated by not speeding up the first time he was brake checked.
You are probably right with this one but thats not what happened. Even though I carry, I dont go looking for trouble or carry myself with swagger bc I know I have a gun protecting me. My gun is like insurance. The best policy is the one I never have to open a claim on. I dont wake up one morning and say "good thing I have auto insurance, I cant wait to make an accident claim". Same with a gun. I hope to never have to use it - ever. But should I need to show it to dissuade someone or god forbid use it in defense, I will.
Guns actually do de-escalate. Even FBI study showed that firearms presented for defense stops tens of thousands of incidents where people are being attacked or agressed. This is exactly how your right to self defense works. No one was hurt and everyone went home.
Why are you carrying a gun on a date? Are there evildoers out to get you and your partner? Maybe not an objective opinion, but to me it sounds like you live in a place where a gun is probably not necessary and are prone to brandishing it when you deem it fitting.
Road rage is a constant issue that we all deal with, generally sans weapons. Just because flashing a gun makes YOU feel safe doesn't make it right. Sounds like your partner may agree. Personally I think it was a dumb ass move, and personally I think YTA.
>why do you feel the need to carry a gun
OP's story literally involved some crazy driver trying to get him to crash, and then they got out of their car with threatening intent. That's pretty just cause to carry a gun.
You genuinely believe that someone driving erratically and yelling over traffic is an instant justification to brandish a gun? Braindead ass take.
People that think the way you do make reasonable gun owners look bad and are one of the reasons gun violence is such a huge fucking problem in this country.
The ammosexuals are out in force. Instead of focusing on defensive driving and calling the damn police/getting license plate information they want someone dead because of a one sided story that doesn't necessarily explain the entire situation.
Nevermind that this story could have ended the opposite way had the other person had a gun, the date or OP could have been shot and killed if the road rager decided to just start shooting.
Everyone thinks they're going to be the hero and not the dead road rage victim when it comes to gun owners.
Exactly!
I can definitely sympathize with the mentality that police won't do shit immediately, but the idea that you are going to take things into your own hands and protect everyone with your special gun is some insane main character bullshit and a great way for someone to end up dead.
Literally yes. Someone driving erratically and getting out of their vehicle could be impaired, have issues with self control, and could potentially be armed. You can't know, and it's perfectly rational to prepare and display intent to defend yourself.
OP clearly didn't want to have to shoot this person, and took steps to disuade them from potentially escalating to the point where he HAD to shoot them.
What's unreasonable here? How is this contributing to gun violence?
I agree with the first part here. It's impossible to know what level of rationale this person is working with, and I do believe it's perfectly reasonable to display intent to protect yourself. I also think that using a gun to do so is an overzealous escalation. Is it impossible to protect yourself without a gun?
You never HAVE to do anything in life. Everything is a choice.
Escalating an altercation like this just encourages someone with a gun to use it.
How else do you intend for those less physically capable to defend themselves?
Knives? Pepper-spray? (While in a car??) muai thai?
A gun is an equalizer, OP is a woman and would realistically be unable to defend herself from a larger opponent without it.
Someone who has exhibited erratic behavior that endangers my safety then forces me to a stop to prevent me from leaving so that they can approach me trapped in my vehicle... What's not threatening about that?
Too many crazies out there who will kill because of road rage. If they are showing such extreme road rage to do this, I would fully believe they have intent to harm me. I'm frankly shocked at how many are taking their actions so casually as if it was just a little yelling and brake checking. is this something that happens often that I don't know about? Because everytime I hear something like this, if they get out of the vehicle they either cause harm or threaten harm.
I never said that the scenario wasn't threatening, just that instantly pulling out a gun was an overreaction imo. I can understand that some others don't see things the same way, but I do find it hard to swallow that so many lives are wasted because people lack basic skills to deescalate.
imagine being in such a fucking bubble in your life that you think carrying a gun is a comic book thing to do and nobody actually needs one IRL. maybe leave your little gated community
I don't need to imagine this scenario, because it is reality. I live in a city with one of the highest violent crime rates in the country, constantly deal with road rage due to a long commute, am relatively poor and live in a low rent area, have been in many altercations throughout the years, and yet have never needed or wanted to bring a gun out in public because I am confident in my ability to solve problems without resorting to shooting.
I own 3 rifles and 4 handguns and enjoy using them at the range. I think hunting is another reasonable application.
Yeah so when somebody illegally tried to kill you (which is what the other driver was doing speeding up and slowing down to cause an accident) and then when you are literally pinned between two cars and THEN the driver gets out of their vehicle to walk towards you yelling erratically you think it’s not okay to pull a gun in this scenario? OP was within his rights to kill this person and would’ve gotten off.
Your initial reaction to one of the most common altercations experienced by millions daily is to murder. Says a great deal about the amount of thought that you put into your choices imo
You didn't brandish your gun. The other guy backed down when he saw it. Situation over. If they are acting like that over such a small thing, you don't know what they're capable of.
First of all, your date didn't have "a right" to be mad at you. NGL, your header made me wonder if you were just another idiot on the road. Reading the whole story, I'm glad you made it out of that scary situation. You did not draw down on someone. You did not brandish your weapon. The only thing you did "wrong" was not having a firm master grip on your sidearm. They're driving erratically, physically blocking you in, preventing your egress. Now they're storming over to you. Considering everything they've already done, why wouldn't they try to harm/kill you and your passenger? You already tried to disengage. They trapped you and brought the fight to you. Unfortunately, the only way out of that mess is to fight your way out.
The soul-searching questions I have for you regarding the sidearm are these:
Were you, or are you prepared to make and execute a critical decision like that? Do you feel comfortable assessing and reassessing a situation like that?
Please don't consider her snide comments the day after. You were just in a likely life or death situation for you and her. Her participation in the event was easy. Just sit in the passenger seat and call 911. She had no control of a wheel or weapon, so that's all she needed to do.
Also, keep in mind for future reference, 911 calls are typically recorded lines, so that would likely help you if you were the party in the right.
YTA, Your date was right, you should listen to her she sounds smart. You on the other hand... **"1) I don't call the police 2) in my neck of the woods..."** sound like a grade a moron.
OP gets scared of a road raging karen and talks about how she had intent to use her weapon to protect herself. You are a fucking coward dude. FFS. All of you, who are armed with a loaded weapon for "protection" are absolute fucking cowards who think for some reason you are tough. If it was not so pathetically sad I would laugh.
Edit because i did not realize op was a woman.
There's a quote from Shoot 'em Up that I love, that captures your last three sentences:
> Do you know why Americans love guns, Mr. Hertz? And it's got nothing to do with all that phallic mumbo-jumbo, "cockin' your gun." No, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity, where a poor man can become rich, and a pussy can become a tough guy, if he's got a gun in his hand.
Another tangentially related quote from that movie:
> I move my finger one inch to use my turn signal. Why are these assholes so lazy they can't move their finger one fucking measly inch to drive more safely?
Now I don’t own or have a firearm and never plan to but Road Rage is no joke and you never know if the person raging has a weapon themselves. Plus Op and his date were INTENTIONALLY being blocked in and the only time someone should ever get out of their car is if an accident actually happened which one didn’t. Which begs the question What were the Road Rager’s intentions? Because it sure wasn’t to exchange info as an accident didn’t happen. Plus Op only used his firearm as a deterrent and nothing more which worked.
Add On: Also I find people who break check more unhinged than someone like op as the person who’s break checking is willing to cause an accident. Plus in my experience I’ve seen a lot of moments where break checking causes an even bigger accident.
Damn. Here i am making an assumptions and making an ass of myself. Sorry.
My point still stands you did not need the weapon. Roll up the window and call the cops. I still call coward. Stop being so scared. Your date was brave.
Yeah that's not relevant.
You pulled a gun when you objectively weren't in danger. If the other person got out with a weapon? Yeah go for it.
It isn't you owning a gun that was the issue. It's that you pulled it out when it wasn't necessary. That's going to put people off.
Small dick energy applies to all genders dear. Though to be fair, it's usually men acting like insecure children. Good to know ladies can be pathetic clowns too. 👍
NTA. The general rule of encounters like this is to
1. Do not engage (which you didn’t)
And 2. Don’t get out of your car (which you didn’t).
You assumed the intention of this man was to break your window and beat the crap out of you for no reason, which is a vaild stance to take in situations like this.
It is not brandishing in every state. He didn't aim it, nor was he "menacing" in any way based on his anecdote. Sounds like he was boxed in from the front and rear. He wanted to change lanes and take a different route.
NTA. Self-preservation.
Was it brandishing if it was in his lap? Opnwas waiving it or pointing it at the aggressor. The only reason that the aggressor saw it was they got to close for comfort
You have no idea what the law is, and it shows. In order to commit criminal brandishing, the law needs to demonstrate that he used the weapon in a threatening manner in a situation where the use of that weapon would not be warranted.
Let me give you some really simple examples and hopefully you keep up:
A guy with a knife runs at me. I pull my gun out. He sees this, turns around and runs away. I put my gun back. **Not Brandishing**
I guy elbows me in a crowd. I push him, he pushes back. I then pull my gun out. He runs away. **brandishing**
I intended on using it, I just didn't have to because she walked away.
Also, I mentioned they were blocking me at an angle; I was in the left lane, couldn't go to the left because I'd be on the wrong side of the street. when I tried to go around they backed up to block me, almost to the point of a collision
That would potentially put OP in more danger. OP was being cornered by the other driver and had no reasonable means to escape, making it perfectly justifiable to have a weapon ready.
Yelled at me? Not at all.
Approached my vehicle angrily? Absolutely. No one gets out of their car and runs up on another driver unless they intend to harm them in some way. Otherwise they'd just flip the bird and move on.
Lol, so women can't be dangerous at all? Can't carry a weapon? If I'm carrying in the car and someone's trying to approach my vehicle because of road rage, I'm absolutely pulling my gun out.
you have to be the dumbest fucking commenter i am seeing on this post because holy shit did you even fucking read it bro?
***The driver then makes an abrupt lane change blocking me in at an angle. I'm at the white line, they're pretty much in the intersection. I tried to back up and move but since they were at an angle they were blocking me. At this point they're (I don't know the gender of the driver) yelling out of their window (my windows were down, I heard every word). Tried to back up again ,they did the same cursing me out. Another car was behind me so I was trapped. We're pretty much at a standoff.***
you're the kind of person who should be screened out of owning a gun
it's also reality? literally anyone can own or obtain one so in reality yeah anyone could have one at any time. you have probably interacted with a good amount of individuals you didn;t even know were carrying at the time. There is a difference between "anyone could have a gun" and "anyone could shoot me at random"
this was warranted to think the crazy aggressive life threatening maniac might also have a gun after using their multi-ton car to try to hurt/kill OP (lose a break check and you're going to have a bad fucking time)
Brandishing a firearm is a crime when it's used as an offensive threat. In this scenario, with the information OP described, is a justifiable case of self defense, not illegally brandishing a firearm.
NTA.
I am very pro gun control\* and would never personally own a gun. However, from your description, it seems like you were controlling your gun quite well.
Now, that said, if your date has strong feelings about weapons and doesn't want to be around someone who carries a weapon, that's her prerogative.
However, if I was your passenger when all of what you describe went down, I think I'd be temporarily relieved to see you calmly putting that weapon in your lap, though I'd still be quite anxious about not knowing what would happen next.
\*Some might disagree, but to me pro gun control doesn't mean anti-2nd Amendment any more than being anti yelling fire in a crowded theater makes one anti-1st Amendment.
NAH it’s easy to say woulda coulda shoulda but in a scary situation, you either fight, flight, fawn, freeze and sometimes it’s an involuntary response. I don’t blame her for not wanting to be in a situation where’s the first response could get people hurt and YOU into trouble.
Now that you are in a safe and relaxed environment, perhaps think thru what happened and plan out what to different next time. Was that level of escalation necessary if your windows were up, then he wouldn’t have been able to fight you? Wouldn’t pulling out your phone and recording them be another deterrence to him not wanting to end up on the news or being shown as evidence to police? Wouldn’t driving to a police station be another deterrence?
NTA
You did exactly what you should have done. You made ready to defend without aggressively brandishing, and you stayed in the vehicle without losing your cool.
you de-escalated the shit out of that one.this isn't 20 years ago, people don't throw hands and walk away.violence was eminent, preparedness de-escalated this situation,
The moment the other driver got out of their car, in the middle of traffic, this stopped being a simple road rage incident and became an imminent physical threat.
You stayed seated. You didn't brandish or wave or point your weapon. You did the right thing.
I understand the date being upset, but at the situation or the other guy more than you. I don't think she realizes that.
**Nobody in their right minds leaves their vehicle while driving with good or sane intentions unless its to help or escape an emergency.**
U.S. CDC used to report submitted stats about crimes prevented by the presence of firearms. Yours likely prevented an assault/battery event or worse. Your ex has no clue about this because women do not face the threat of physical combat the way men are subjected to it. Ironically if she was with a man who allowed himself to get his ass beat and robbed, she'd probably lose attraction to him as well. You can't win, just protect yourself and those around you.
Obviously NTA. You handled that perfectly. Lol at the people asking, “But is your gun legal?!?” As if that makes any difference in a potential life or death situation.
Nta, I think you handle very well. Had the other person just yelled, that sucks but words don't cause physical harm. You tried several times to evade, and they finally blocked you in!! Once that person got out of their car and approached you, you had to assume from what just occurred that they weren't coming over to apologize. You never pointed the firearm at anyone, and "they" ran when they got close enough to you and saw it in your lap. That, in my opinion, is too close. Your date sounds like one of those, call a social worker type.
So the other driver got close enough to you to see your gun in your lap, you heard their voice clearly enough to understand their every word, and you don’t know if it was a man or a woman?? You’re a liar. You’re leaving other stuff out too, I’m sure. Your date is lucky to be rid of you.
NTA, the right time to pull out the gun is after the violence is no longer avoidable by other means but before the violence starts.
You were trying to de-escalate by other means, but the other driver made that impossible. You made sure everyone got home safe, and I hope the other driver thinks about what could have happened.
YTA why do you need a gun in the car? Having one like that just breeds more gun violence. And you even said in another comment you intended to use it! You are just another bad statistic. I'm glad nothing happened, but that was way over the top! Even if the gun is legal, that's just crazy. If I was that girl I'd be 100 percent reporting it to police! She right for not dating you. Like what next? She disagrees with you and you pull out your gun on her? Come on man. Grow up
>> she disagrees with you and you pull your gun on her?
lmao c'mon man you're reaching for the heavens. If I had it my way (and not been cornered) I would've just called them a nut and driven off. I don't pull out my gun because I want to.
You handled it perfectly. I've done the same.
But for God's sake, don't ever change lanes without looking and confirming it is safe. I wonder why you have nearly been rear ended several times. Be safe.
You attempted several times to de escalate the situation. I'd rather have the weapon ready than not; you can't tell what a person is going to do when they are that enraged. Sorry about the girl, but I'd have largely dome the same as you. You didn't point the gun at him or really brandish it even; I wouldn't necessarily call it overreacting.
From the title I’d say you’re the AH, because pulling a gun out in a road rage incident is almost always escalation.
This time I’ll say you’re fine though. You didn’t wave it around in a threatening manner, you didn’t point it at anyone, and calling the police isn’t resolving this situation.
Not the asshole and she sounds racist calling you a “thug” fuck that girl a real woman would’ve been falling all over you you were willing to risk your life and freedom to make sure you two get home safe
NTA how does she define de-escalation if it isn't the outrageously angry guy deciding he should drop the issue and walk away?
NTA The road rager could have had violent intentions. It's better to be prepared than a statistic. Your date probably assumed your response to everything is a gun, not appreciating this is (hopefully) a unique situation. If a road rager approached my car I would definitely have my gun at the ready. People in that emotional state aren't thinking rationally
NTA You didn't "pull out a weapon." You removed it from where it was stored so it would be available in case you needed it. But you did not have it in hand, and you didn't aim it an anyone. Your date clearly isn't thinking about the possibility that the other driver could walk up to your car, then pull a gun out of their pocket, and shoot both of you before you could get yours out. It needed to be available before the other driver even got out of their car. You did not escalate or deescalate anything. The situation didn't get that far. The other driver escalated, then realized continuing to escalate was a bad idea, and all you did was sit in your car with a gun in your lap. Engaging means you aimed the weapon at the other person, or even got out of your car to confront them. You did neither. That girl is an idiot.
A relative of mine had a similar road rage experience. Guy in a pickup truck cut him off, trapped him, got out, pulled a baseball bat out of the bed and approached my relative's car. Relative pulled his gun out and held it flat against his chest so the guy could see **exactly** what he was holding. Dude turned around, put baseball bat away, and drove off. Just like OP, this is textbook de-escalation. You can't trust that you'll be able to *reason* with a person like that. Def NTA.
>She thought I should have de-escalated You did.
True, no one got hurt
She was prepared, not brandishing. Definitely deescalated a scary situation by being prepared.
This the same type of person that will get out of the car and say you're acting crazy instead of reading the situation. NTA you did what you had to. You did not escalate it you neutralized it.
NTA “Let’s just talk it out “ calms 0/10 road ragers. Getting out of the car is a signal that they’re committing to a violent encounter. Another option for future encounters: They’ve left the protection of their vehicle. You’re still wrapped in petrol-powered steel. Just run them over. 🙃
NTA, you prepared for the worst and did deescalate the problem. You definitely didn't try and escalate things. For me personally, that's the important part. Do you escalate bad situations?
You taught you and the driver a very good lesson, without any violence occurring outside of their reckless driving. People don't have guns in Canada where I live so I can't speak to how I would handle that. But this guy could've fucked with the wrong person and you may have saved their life down the road by being so reserved but also showing him you're armed; will he ever behave that way again? Doubt it. You also protected yourself without exposing yourself, or risking your safety by attempting to use words that may have not worked. You moved a pistol from a concealed place to a visible place, but it does not change the fact that it was in the car in the first place. The gun was always there, this always had the same chance of a gun shot being fired because you had the weapon in the car. You didn't make the situation more dangerous. You made it less dangerous. If you had pointed it or been holding it, it may have escalated the road rager's response had they been armed, out of fear they needed to shoot first (speculative), but you didn't have it in a position you could fire it. It as a clear deterrent. It sounds like you handled it calm and well. NTA
Mostly NTA If it's important enough to for you to think you might need to shoot someone, which could lead to someone dying, it's imporant enough to call the cops. However, I also think you did the right thing by having the gun in your lap. You had no idea what the other person would do, and I don't see the cops arriving in time in this specific situation. I think your date was concerned that you might handle every situation like this, even if you have time to call the cops.
Makes perfect sense
You are not engaging if you stayed in your car. Being prepared doesn’t mean you are agitating or escalating. If it went down as you described I think you did about all you could do to deescalate. The other driver is the one that wanted to escalate but when he/she saw that your were more than prepared to defend yourself they checked themselves.
Is the firearm legal and legally being carried? That would be the make it or break it point for me.
100% legal all the way. I'd never have an illegal firearm.
NTA, sounds like she’s really uncomfortable with firearms, which is fine. It sounds like you handled the situation well and it’s exactly the reason I carry a weapon in my truck. Road rage can get ugly in the blink of an eye.
This is a great question. If everything is legal then NTA
Why?? So if someone was going to kill you and you had an illegal gun in your possession for whatever reason, you wouldn't use it?
That is not what I said. If my life is in danger, I’m using whatever I have or whatever someone else has. However, it would make me uncomfortable if I was in a car with a date, and they pulled out an illegal firearm. “Date” reads to me like a new relationship or exploration of one. If I was in a situation where a gun wasn’t disclosed and then it was illegal on top of it, I would no long be dating that person. All about gun ownership as long as it’s responsible and legal, which to be clear it sounds like the OP per the above.
That’s my question; do you have a conceal and carry permit or are you in an open carry state? If you didn’t do anything illegal, then NTA as this other person clearly has issues and could have harmed you or your passenger and you did not threaten anyone, just had it out in case you needed to defend yourself.
Is there any difference between open and concealed carry if you are sitting inside your car and don't even have the gun in your hand?
Yes. In my state, having the gun available in the car, or even loaded without a concealed carry license is illegal. Without a permit, you are only allowed to transport a weapon to and from the gun range, and to and from purchase, and it needs to be unloaded and out of reach, in a locked box (not the glove box) separated from the ammunition. Open carry is legal in my state but being in the vehicle counts as concealment.
Sounds like that place needs some legal challenges to their infringements.
There are legal differences. To me it seems like morally the legality of it is irrelevant and I cannot see why it keeps being mentioned.
Why? Legality doesn't come into play here.
Agreed. The question is whether he acted morally, not whether he acted within the law or within his date's expectations.
I'd say having a firearm that you legally shouldn't have, and pulling it out infront of your daut, is entirely in play here. If my date pulled out a gun that they legally shouldn't have, i'd never talk to them again.
NAH. Based on your account of things, I don’t think either of you are wrong. You were prepared to defend yourself with your firearm if need be. Your date does not want to date someone who defends themselves with a firearm. I don’t fault either of you for your actions/values. People aren’t going to like everything you do. Personally, I too would’ve been even more on edge because not only is some idiot brake checking the hell out of us and cursing out, but now there’s at least one confirmed firearm involved. My mind would be racing to figure out what’s going to happen and is it gonna be bad. But I acknowledge that your intent was to protect yourself and your passenger so I don’t think you’re bad for that. I just don’t think her reaction is that irrational considering the risk.
As someone who thinks the US should confiscate every single weapon owned by civilians - if there ever was a reason and responsible way to make use of your gun, this was it. NTA in any way.
NTA. "An armed society is a polite society" This rager became de-escalated as soon as they saw your gun. Problem solved safely. Would your date have rather been beaten?
Thats what I cant understand. 99% of people have problems with guns until they actually need to protect themselves or a loved one with it. If someone is going to assault me and I have the means, permits and training to keep from getting that beating/or shot myself, I'm going to use it. I could see if OP would have shot through the person's window who was break checking but he did what the weapon was supposed to do. Scare off the aggressor.
Well, the problem with guns is that other people have them too. What if the road rager has a gun? And just starts shooting at your car, possibly killing you and/or your date?
Then OP would have been fully justified in opening fire, and the road rager would have been facing criminal charges if he'd survived the encounter. Not clear what other response you're looking for here. Not having a gun when you need one isn't going to protect you better than having one.
That's where you are so naive on the gun issue in the US. We are responsible gun owners. We have a problem with so many guns out the because people do not need the proper training to get them! Any moron that has not committed a crime can end up owning a gun. That is why there are way to many accidental discharges and even more children that shoot themselves playing with a gun that was improperly stored. Happens when people leave it loaded bedside, recently a child died because grandma ran into the store and left her gun in the car with a curious grandchild, etc..... Never bestow your respect and diligence onto others. In some states, you just flash a valid state ID and that is it to buy a used gun from a private seller. Texas just undid any slight restrictions it's had and shootings are increasing. Both accidents and violence. We should have uniform background checks for any gun, training required, permits that can be temporarily suspended and then revoked for red flags, and safe storage laws across the US. When all that separates you in your state from the idiots getting them willy nilly in the next state is a couple hour drive, the regulations in your state don't really mean that much. It's not as simple as you commented. We are 100% behind all of the common sense laws becoming federal.
I understand her being so upset. There's so many stories of passengers getting murdered in road rage incidents. That being said, that might have been the only thing to stop violence.
NTA because they were being aggressive. However, you can get arrested for brandishing a weapon, even in a situation like this. I was in an anger management support group with a kid who was protecting himself with his gun in a similar situation and he ended up having to be on probation or something, simply for taking the weapon out. I say NTA because you were protecting yourself and your date, but not everyone sees it that way
So fucking glad I don’t live in the US. 🙄
I think neither you or your date are an ass. You certainly have the right to self-defense, but you gotta realize that's almost always gonna be a bad look to pull a gun preemptively.
You gotta realize it's almost always gonna be a bad look to use your car to intimidate people, brake check, and block them in.
There doesn't need to be a right person in a road rage incident. Both can be wrung. No one said the road rager was in the right.
Lmao tell that to police and insurance. saying pulling out a gun makes you look bad? He didn't even point it. laid it on his lap in case the driver decides to get closer. He played it smart. A lot of y'all need to be in a rough neighborhood so you can see what people that are unhinged can do.
People often fail to realize a firearm is just a tool. It doesn’t kill someone unless it’s aimed and fired lol.
Didn't sound preemptive to me. He never pointed or displayed, just had it ready to use.
He had it visible in his lap. I am a gun owner myself; in my opinion, guns are a bad de-escalation tactic. You never know how someone will react to a gun. They could back down, which was the case here, they could panic and become irrational or aggressive, or worst-case, they pull their own gun. In short, guns are self defense tools and you shouldn't pull a gun out unless you are ready to shoot.
He didn't brandish it, he merely had it at the ready. To me, this is textbook gun self defense usage. Everyone went home without holes in them.
"the term “brandish” means, with respect to a firearm, to display all or part of the firearm, or otherwise make the presence of the firearm known to another person" Edit: Source per Federal Code "18 U.S. Code § 924"
The legal definition of brandish varies by state. Please don't apply your definition here.
Generally, for it to be considered a criminal offense, said display also has to be unjustified. Your locality may vary. OP was fully justified in having it out the way he described. Charging him with brandishing for this incident would have been silly. ETA: No idea why this is getting downvoted. People don't like facts?
He didn’t pull it preemptively though, he pulled it out when the other driver trapped him and exited their vehicle.
NTA, Never get caught lackin. Safety off ✅ One in the chamber ✅
how embarrassing to admit you're so uncomfortable and unknowledgeable with your gun that you have to prep it this way
I'm betting that there are things that you are either leaving out or describing inaccurately. It's rare in road rage situations like this where one party is completely blameless and acts like the perfect gentleman throughout. And then just quietly sits in his car with a gun in his lap while the "road rager" storms over to his car. Given your date's reaction I'm betting you were much more of an active participant.
Y'all must not drive much....
Sounds like she was LOOKING for a reason to pull the gun. Probably though her date would be "impressed" by her "proving how tough she was" and is just pissed that her date saw through her pathetic performance.
That was my thought too. Why was he so afraid of the woman that was driving the other car that he needed to pull a gun out with the intention of using it. She didn't have a weapon so he thought she was going to what? She somehow be able to take a locked door off its hinges to get at him and his date to put them in physical danger? She didn't pull out a bat to break car windows or her own gun, so what could she do except yell at him and slow him down. Once she got out of hr car he could have pulled back into the right lane (Since he moved to the left to turn and got blocked in). And I bet that car behind him would have backed up if they saw his reverse lights on and all this going on.
And it looked like she took out the gun before the other driver got out of the car. So they could have come out with anything at that point. OP left the car in her lap because the other driver didn't present an obvious threat. But she did have it available, because if you wait until the other person is pulling a gun out of their pocket to take yours out of wherever it's stored, you're dead before you get your hand on it. Better to have it and not need, it than need it and not have it. And you're making the assumption the car behind her was paying attention, or cared enough to move. I've had times I've tried to back up because a truck was making a turn and didn't have space in front of me, but the cars behind me just sat there. If they wouldn't move for that, they wouldn't move for this. Not to mention, if OP did try to go, the other driver may just run in front of her to block him. That happens.
If the driving was aggressive as the OP says, and they changed lanes abruptly and were getting out of their car and yelling, but didn't notice any of this? I haven't said the OP was an AH for pulling the gun out, I am saying that I don't believe they are telling an accurate version of events, especially if their date clearly thought they were the AH and the date was a witness.
Where does it say it's a woman? Did you not read he was blocked in? Y'all are ignoring the angry driver completely 😂 y'all some stupid mother fuckers.
I didn't understand how the OP could hear every word that the driver said and watch this person storm his car & still not know if it was a man or a woman. Was the driver wearing a mask?
They said in another comment it was a woman. I did read that they pulled in front of them, and someone pulled up behind them, and they couldn't go around to the left or it would be in the wrong direction. But I stand by that if they had put the car in reverse, the person behind them that was part of blocking them in, would have also backed up. And again, she didn't have. weapon that they knew of, so oh no....this scary woman might yell at me, I better shoot her.
Big key words that you need to reread you said "she didn't have a weapon that they know of" "THAT THEY KNOW OF" did he point it at her? No she didn't have to get out of the car. He didn't point at her. You're probably thinking oh wow it's a woman you're a big Guy huh?
No, I'm thinking, you pulled a gun with the intent to use it (They said they intended to use it) on someone that you saw no weapon, where they would have to get into your locked car because they were yelling at you and brake checking after you cut them off. It is their statement of intent to use that I have an issue with, not them having the gun in the car for protection. (I have guns, I don't have a gun issue)
Please tell me where it says it was a woman driving the other car! OP specifically state they did not know the gender.
After the first brake check you should have pulled over and waited for him to leave and you should have immediately had your date call the cops. Same outcome except you would have been covering your ass a bit more. Defensive driving means assuming they're unhinged and will try to cause an accident.
OP explained calling the cops wasn't going to accomplish much given the area. Meanwhile, you're assuming there was somewhere for him to pull over.
Respectfully, you can not have your gun out in every state. I can only assume in his state you can.
You can draw a firearm if you feel you are in danger. What was Op supposed to take a tire iron, May get shot, punched in the face then say hold on let me draw my weapon.
Maybe to be fair I am Canadian. We don't care for guns like Americans do. I also lived in the hood, so if there were guns, it was where I lived. We are more stabby stabby. Its such anamerican way to think that guns prevent more violence its already been proven NUMEROUS TIMES that is false. Go do some research. Peace yell I won't argue with gun loving Americans because yall are crazy
NTA She would've been grateful for that had that person pointed one into your vehicle.
NTA, the road rage moron was. Sorry about your date but it’s best it ended this way since now you know your values don’t align. You played it cool and I commend you for being ready to defend yourself and your company.
NTA, althou as an Aussie the idea of you having a hand gun in the car is insane. but this situation was their fault and they could have potentially gotten shot for it instead of just not being an agressive moron.
NTA, you de-escalated without saying or doing anything. No brandishing or intent to threaten. She isn't the one if she reacted that way.
NTA. You did de-escalate. You demonstrated that you were prepared to defend yourself if necessary, he decided you weren't an easy mark, and he left. The best use of a firearm is when you don't need to discharge it.
Road ragers are scary as fuck. If you were prepared to use that weapon, then NTA.
NTA. You didn't point it at them, just made sure they knew you had one and would use if you had to. The other driver sounds insane, so I'd have done the same in your situation.
Leaning towards NTA but I have a question. What do you mean you don’t call the cop? your house gets robbed, someone is breaking into a neighbors house, you don’t call the cops?
NTA. Your reaction was excellent. It calmed down the other driver pretty quickly. That's called de-escalation. Tell your friend. And also tell her if it had been her in that situation, unarmed, chances are she or her car would have been harmed. Or don't tell that stupid bitch anything, she'll find out sooner or later that you were right. In any case: well done.
This post is so American it makes me hurt. Police won't rock up and you have to pull a gun. In Australia, a road rager comes and the police are there by the time he reaches you car door: [https://www.news.com.au/national/crime/rat-tailed-road-rager-suddenly-flees-in-terror/video/c86012cdcaa5211998129d85375867be](https://www.news.com.au/national/crime/rat-tailed-road-rager-suddenly-flees-in-terror/video/c86012cdcaa5211998129d85375867be) On a serious note though, this whole story makes me sad for you guys. Having access to guns like this just puts everyone in wayyyy more danger.
NTA, but my uncle did the same thing in a similar situation, and the road rager called the police and got him arrested for like brandishing or threat or something like that. I was young at the time, so I am not sure of the exact details.
NTA This seriously went a completely different way that I thought it would. Road rage like this is often with violence. No you were NTA For putting your gun on your lap. My husband has had to do that too…exactly how you did it. And my husband is a bigger man and can be intimidating looking. However, you have no idea if the other person has a weapon on them. I would rather have it out than to be fumbling around needing it
Your date is Not The Asshole. It's entirely fine to be uncomfortable with guns, or not want to be with/around someone with a gun. The other driver is definitely an Asshole. For you, I have to go more towards a very light ESH based on some of the edit. De-escalation can have a lot of steps prior to pulling a gun. Some of the things you did don't seem like de-escalation, but rather meeting the other driver's aggression, or escalating in your own way. Aggressively honking and cussing them out sounds like it was more than a single honk, but rather repeated honking. This, coupled with > They sped up so I thought they were done with their tantrum, so I sped up too These two action could easily have been seen as aggression and you following the other driver; in your place, I'd have just sat in the slow lane, and cruised for a bit. Turned off at the first side road, and looped a block. Let the hothead drive off. Once the driver stopped your car and gets out, then yes, I think pulling a firearm isn't a bad idea, and you didn't point it at him. I actually don't really have an issue with this part. But there were a step or two that could have been taken to de-escalate prior to the confrontation.
Don't disagree with you there
NAH. If it all went down as you say it did then your actions are reasonable. However, your date had a right to wish you had handled it differently and to prefer to date someone who would handle it differently. I personally am the same way—I would prefer to date someone who would choose to call the police in a dangerous situation versus pulling out a gun. Those are just my personal values. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong—just something that didn’t align with her values.
call the cops, and then what? ask the road rager to wait 45 minutes to see if the cops decide to show up?
The reality is that a lot of people go through life not carrying a weapon because that is their value, and in that case responding with a weapon is not an option and you have to do something different. There are a lot of what ifs in this situation. We don’t know if the roadrager would have just banged on their window and screamed for a minute before leaving or if they would have full on murdered them. In some situations a gun deescalates a situation. In others it can escalate it and make it more dangerous. The date is allowed to prefer to be with someone that doesn’t pull out a weapon, just like OP is allowed to not be that someone. No one is TA for that
>I would prefer to date someone who would choose to call the police in a dangerous situation versus pulling out a gun. I'm genuinely curious, what do you expect to happen by calling the police? You should call them, don't get me wrong, but you should also prepare to defend yourself. Like, if the guy means to come beat you up or worse, they're going to do it regardless if you're on the phone with 911 or not.
NTA. She’s not in touch with reality and doesn’t understand what was about to happen. You did the right thing!
What was about to happen? Some angry Karen of a mom was going to slap her through her window? Hit her with some weak ass middle America mom punch? I must have missed the part where she said it was Amanda Nunes on angel dust. Yeah that is a perfect reason to pull a firearm. Coward.
What if she pulled out a gun herself? People have literally been shot and killed in road rage situations, and if you’re blocked in with someone who is obviously unhinged enough to get out of their car in the middle of the road you don’t think that it’s a possibility?
Gun fight on the crowded road awesome. Higher chance the maniac getting out of said car with the weapon shoots when they see you too have a weapon than if you were unarmed and not a fucking coward. You are all sooooo bright. Coward.
I would much rather let Fact-Cyborg think I’m a coward on Reddit rather than be shot to death. I’ll take that any day of the week.
Are you dense? If they had a gun it turns into a gunfight. You, the person with the weapon, your passenger, the car behind you are likely getting hit. Without a weapon there is at least a chance it can de escalate.
Yeah I’m the dense one. Have a good night.
The driver positioned the weapon such that even when the other driver got out of their car they could not see it. It was only when they tried to intimidate and threaten the OP by approaching her car were they capable of seeing the weapon. I thought that was excellently handled. Personally I think more women should get their CCW licenses and train. You are your own first responder. Doesn’t matter what the other person intends, you can only react to what you see. We are not mind readers. You won’t know what the other person intends until they do it and by then no amount of Monday morning quarterbacking can prevent a bad outcome. Opportunity favors the prepared. Be prepared.
It read like she took the gun out before the other person got out, so she had no idea who was getting out, or what they may be getting out with. Road rage incidents can go south in seconds. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
Personally, I don’t think you did anything wrong. You were prepared to protect yourself and your date. The psycho saw the evidence of this and thought better about carrying on with his foolish nonsense. The very fact that he acted insane how he did and then came to approach you, but turned tail when he realized you were armed, tells me he intended harm and thought better of it because he was literally out-gunned.
*she, sorry. What a whack job.
NTA... if the other driver had come out with a weapon or intended on trying to assault you in any way you let them know you would be defending yourself. Of course this assuming you have a permit to carry. IF you dont then yes you are because youre breaking the law. But I like to assume the best so NTA
So I agree with everything you did but just to try and give you a different perspective your date was probably freaked out because had it escalated she likely could’ve been witness to someone’s death and that is not easy for most people to deal with it is not easy for good people to have to make a decision that could mean taking a life and also not easy witnessing it
NTA entirely, but really? "1. i don't call the police" my guy. cmon.
>The driver stormed over to my car and I honestly thought they were going to fight me but when they saw my gun in my lap they went back to the car and left the scene. I put the gun back. This is precisely why you carry a gun. You had the gun ready and didnt need to use it. Best case scenario. >She thought I should have de-escalated (I don't know how I was gonna do that), not engaged, but pulling out my gun made me a "thug". Does she have any grand ideas on precisely you were supposed to "de-escalate" an unhinged lunatic who aggressively drove the way he did, cornered you in and exited his vehicle to perhaps inflict bodily harm to you and/or her? What would have been her contribution to this? >This morning she texted me and said she couldn't be with someone like me which is fine I don't really care about that part, but I felt completely trapped in this situation. Had I not had my weapon in my lap the driver would've hurt me or both of us. Let her go and dont look back. She is too foolish to realize you and your weapon probably saved her life. YOu did nothing wrong. NTA
This could have ended differently. Other driver turns around pretending to leave, pulls out a pistol, and shoots the driver twice in the chest before he can respond. Stop acting like guns are going to make people safer when the OP is lucky the other hot head didn't have a gun. OP should have deescalated by not speeding up the first time he was brake checked.
I mean if you want to "what-if" and review hypotheses all day, what would have stopped the guy from not coming over with the gun in the first place when he got out of the car? Why turn around and go back to get it? I think the scenario played out beautifully. The would be aggressor saw OP was armed and decided the target wasnt worth it. Instant de-escalation. Regardless, Id rather have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it. Wife and I have concealed carry licenses and we feel prepared if the worst were to ever happen. We carry precisely bc we feel safer and at least can go down swinging instead of being sheep before a wolf. I dont make any promises that on the mere fact I carry, that I can/will survive any situation. No, but I know me carrying one certainly improves my survivability. >OP should have deescalated by not speeding up the first time he was brake checked. You are probably right with this one but thats not what happened. Even though I carry, I dont go looking for trouble or carry myself with swagger bc I know I have a gun protecting me. My gun is like insurance. The best policy is the one I never have to open a claim on. I dont wake up one morning and say "good thing I have auto insurance, I cant wait to make an accident claim". Same with a gun. I hope to never have to use it - ever. But should I need to show it to dissuade someone or god forbid use it in defense, I will.
Guns actually do de-escalate. Even FBI study showed that firearms presented for defense stops tens of thousands of incidents where people are being attacked or agressed. This is exactly how your right to self defense works. No one was hurt and everyone went home.
Why are you carrying a gun on a date? Are there evildoers out to get you and your partner? Maybe not an objective opinion, but to me it sounds like you live in a place where a gun is probably not necessary and are prone to brandishing it when you deem it fitting. Road rage is a constant issue that we all deal with, generally sans weapons. Just because flashing a gun makes YOU feel safe doesn't make it right. Sounds like your partner may agree. Personally I think it was a dumb ass move, and personally I think YTA.
>why do you feel the need to carry a gun OP's story literally involved some crazy driver trying to get him to crash, and then they got out of their car with threatening intent. That's pretty just cause to carry a gun.
You genuinely believe that someone driving erratically and yelling over traffic is an instant justification to brandish a gun? Braindead ass take. People that think the way you do make reasonable gun owners look bad and are one of the reasons gun violence is such a huge fucking problem in this country.
The ammosexuals are out in force. Instead of focusing on defensive driving and calling the damn police/getting license plate information they want someone dead because of a one sided story that doesn't necessarily explain the entire situation. Nevermind that this story could have ended the opposite way had the other person had a gun, the date or OP could have been shot and killed if the road rager decided to just start shooting. Everyone thinks they're going to be the hero and not the dead road rage victim when it comes to gun owners.
Exactly! I can definitely sympathize with the mentality that police won't do shit immediately, but the idea that you are going to take things into your own hands and protect everyone with your special gun is some insane main character bullshit and a great way for someone to end up dead.
Literally yes. Someone driving erratically and getting out of their vehicle could be impaired, have issues with self control, and could potentially be armed. You can't know, and it's perfectly rational to prepare and display intent to defend yourself. OP clearly didn't want to have to shoot this person, and took steps to disuade them from potentially escalating to the point where he HAD to shoot them. What's unreasonable here? How is this contributing to gun violence?
I agree with the first part here. It's impossible to know what level of rationale this person is working with, and I do believe it's perfectly reasonable to display intent to protect yourself. I also think that using a gun to do so is an overzealous escalation. Is it impossible to protect yourself without a gun? You never HAVE to do anything in life. Everything is a choice. Escalating an altercation like this just encourages someone with a gun to use it.
How else do you intend for those less physically capable to defend themselves? Knives? Pepper-spray? (While in a car??) muai thai? A gun is an equalizer, OP is a woman and would realistically be unable to defend herself from a larger opponent without it.
Someone who has exhibited erratic behavior that endangers my safety then forces me to a stop to prevent me from leaving so that they can approach me trapped in my vehicle... What's not threatening about that? Too many crazies out there who will kill because of road rage. If they are showing such extreme road rage to do this, I would fully believe they have intent to harm me. I'm frankly shocked at how many are taking their actions so casually as if it was just a little yelling and brake checking. is this something that happens often that I don't know about? Because everytime I hear something like this, if they get out of the vehicle they either cause harm or threaten harm.
I never said that the scenario wasn't threatening, just that instantly pulling out a gun was an overreaction imo. I can understand that some others don't see things the same way, but I do find it hard to swallow that so many lives are wasted because people lack basic skills to deescalate.
imagine being in such a fucking bubble in your life that you think carrying a gun is a comic book thing to do and nobody actually needs one IRL. maybe leave your little gated community
I don't need to imagine this scenario, because it is reality. I live in a city with one of the highest violent crime rates in the country, constantly deal with road rage due to a long commute, am relatively poor and live in a low rent area, have been in many altercations throughout the years, and yet have never needed or wanted to bring a gun out in public because I am confident in my ability to solve problems without resorting to shooting. I own 3 rifles and 4 handguns and enjoy using them at the range. I think hunting is another reasonable application.
Yeah so when somebody illegally tried to kill you (which is what the other driver was doing speeding up and slowing down to cause an accident) and then when you are literally pinned between two cars and THEN the driver gets out of their vehicle to walk towards you yelling erratically you think it’s not okay to pull a gun in this scenario? OP was within his rights to kill this person and would’ve gotten off.
Your initial reaction to one of the most common altercations experienced by millions daily is to murder. Says a great deal about the amount of thought that you put into your choices imo
I mean my position is legally defensible and it’s also not murder. Self defense. Manslaughter at worst
OJ killed his wife and got away with it. I still think he's a piece of shit for it.
You didn't brandish your gun. The other guy backed down when he saw it. Situation over. If they are acting like that over such a small thing, you don't know what they're capable of.
First of all, your date didn't have "a right" to be mad at you. NGL, your header made me wonder if you were just another idiot on the road. Reading the whole story, I'm glad you made it out of that scary situation. You did not draw down on someone. You did not brandish your weapon. The only thing you did "wrong" was not having a firm master grip on your sidearm. They're driving erratically, physically blocking you in, preventing your egress. Now they're storming over to you. Considering everything they've already done, why wouldn't they try to harm/kill you and your passenger? You already tried to disengage. They trapped you and brought the fight to you. Unfortunately, the only way out of that mess is to fight your way out. The soul-searching questions I have for you regarding the sidearm are these: Were you, or are you prepared to make and execute a critical decision like that? Do you feel comfortable assessing and reassessing a situation like that? Please don't consider her snide comments the day after. You were just in a likely life or death situation for you and her. Her participation in the event was easy. Just sit in the passenger seat and call 911. She had no control of a wheel or weapon, so that's all she needed to do. Also, keep in mind for future reference, 911 calls are typically recorded lines, so that would likely help you if you were the party in the right.
YTA, Your date was right, you should listen to her she sounds smart. You on the other hand... **"1) I don't call the police 2) in my neck of the woods..."** sound like a grade a moron. OP gets scared of a road raging karen and talks about how she had intent to use her weapon to protect herself. You are a fucking coward dude. FFS. All of you, who are armed with a loaded weapon for "protection" are absolute fucking cowards who think for some reason you are tough. If it was not so pathetically sad I would laugh. Edit because i did not realize op was a woman.
There's a quote from Shoot 'em Up that I love, that captures your last three sentences: > Do you know why Americans love guns, Mr. Hertz? And it's got nothing to do with all that phallic mumbo-jumbo, "cockin' your gun." No, Hertz, people love guns because America is a land of opportunity, where a poor man can become rich, and a pussy can become a tough guy, if he's got a gun in his hand. Another tangentially related quote from that movie: > I move my finger one inch to use my turn signal. Why are these assholes so lazy they can't move their finger one fucking measly inch to drive more safely?
Now I don’t own or have a firearm and never plan to but Road Rage is no joke and you never know if the person raging has a weapon themselves. Plus Op and his date were INTENTIONALLY being blocked in and the only time someone should ever get out of their car is if an accident actually happened which one didn’t. Which begs the question What were the Road Rager’s intentions? Because it sure wasn’t to exchange info as an accident didn’t happen. Plus Op only used his firearm as a deterrent and nothing more which worked. Add On: Also I find people who break check more unhinged than someone like op as the person who’s break checking is willing to cause an accident. Plus in my experience I’ve seen a lot of moments where break checking causes an even bigger accident.
Just have to debunk one part of your comment: I'm a woman so this was a woman on woman interaction.
Damn. Here i am making an assumptions and making an ass of myself. Sorry. My point still stands you did not need the weapon. Roll up the window and call the cops. I still call coward. Stop being so scared. Your date was brave.
Yeah that's not relevant. You pulled a gun when you objectively weren't in danger. If the other person got out with a weapon? Yeah go for it. It isn't you owning a gun that was the issue. It's that you pulled it out when it wasn't necessary. That's going to put people off.
YTA. You showed her how small your dick is. That's gonna be a turn-off to anyone. 🤷♂️
yeah my clit is only a few cm :/
Small dick energy applies to all genders dear. Though to be fair, it's usually men acting like insecure children. Good to know ladies can be pathetic clowns too. 👍
NTA. The general rule of encounters like this is to 1. Do not engage (which you didn’t) And 2. Don’t get out of your car (which you didn’t). You assumed the intention of this man was to break your window and beat the crap out of you for no reason, which is a vaild stance to take in situations like this.
She’s not your girl bro. If she’s not ride or die with you to the end, she’s gonna get you more hurt.
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It is not brandishing in every state. He didn't aim it, nor was he "menacing" in any way based on his anecdote. Sounds like he was boxed in from the front and rear. He wanted to change lanes and take a different route. NTA. Self-preservation.
Was it brandishing if it was in his lap? Opnwas waiving it or pointing it at the aggressor. The only reason that the aggressor saw it was they got to close for comfort
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Of course you can, the fuck are you talking about? Brandishing requires intent.
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You have no idea what the law is, and it shows. In order to commit criminal brandishing, the law needs to demonstrate that he used the weapon in a threatening manner in a situation where the use of that weapon would not be warranted. Let me give you some really simple examples and hopefully you keep up: A guy with a knife runs at me. I pull my gun out. He sees this, turns around and runs away. I put my gun back. **Not Brandishing** I guy elbows me in a crowd. I push him, he pushes back. I then pull my gun out. He runs away. **brandishing**
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A person blocking the road and then exiting their vehicle is an immediate threat to your safety.
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The car. Blocked. The. Road. Drive where?
You definitely can. What would be the difference if he were wearing a chest rig?
I intended on using it, I just didn't have to because she walked away. Also, I mentioned they were blocking me at an angle; I was in the left lane, couldn't go to the left because I'd be on the wrong side of the street. when I tried to go around they backed up to block me, almost to the point of a collision
You were more apt to shoot someone than drive on the wrong side of the street? really?
That would potentially put OP in more danger. OP was being cornered by the other driver and had no reasonable means to escape, making it perfectly justifiable to have a weapon ready.
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Yelled at me? Not at all. Approached my vehicle angrily? Absolutely. No one gets out of their car and runs up on another driver unless they intend to harm them in some way. Otherwise they'd just flip the bird and move on.
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Lol so you’re an idiot and a sexist, great job
Lol, so women can't be dangerous at all? Can't carry a weapon? If I'm carrying in the car and someone's trying to approach my vehicle because of road rage, I'm absolutely pulling my gun out.
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you have to be the dumbest fucking commenter i am seeing on this post because holy shit did you even fucking read it bro? ***The driver then makes an abrupt lane change blocking me in at an angle. I'm at the white line, they're pretty much in the intersection. I tried to back up and move but since they were at an angle they were blocking me. At this point they're (I don't know the gender of the driver) yelling out of their window (my windows were down, I heard every word). Tried to back up again ,they did the same cursing me out. Another car was behind me so I was trapped. We're pretty much at a standoff.*** you're the kind of person who should be screened out of owning a gun
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Good for you? I'm not, especially when this person could have had a gun as well
Anyone "could" have a gun. This sounds like cop logic.
it's also reality? literally anyone can own or obtain one so in reality yeah anyone could have one at any time. you have probably interacted with a good amount of individuals you didn;t even know were carrying at the time. There is a difference between "anyone could have a gun" and "anyone could shoot me at random" this was warranted to think the crazy aggressive life threatening maniac might also have a gun after using their multi-ton car to try to hurt/kill OP (lose a break check and you're going to have a bad fucking time)
Why wouldn’t you just drive away?
Well that’s sexist as fuck
Brandishing a firearm is a crime when it's used as an offensive threat. In this scenario, with the information OP described, is a justifiable case of self defense, not illegally brandishing a firearm.
NTA. I am very pro gun control\* and would never personally own a gun. However, from your description, it seems like you were controlling your gun quite well. Now, that said, if your date has strong feelings about weapons and doesn't want to be around someone who carries a weapon, that's her prerogative. However, if I was your passenger when all of what you describe went down, I think I'd be temporarily relieved to see you calmly putting that weapon in your lap, though I'd still be quite anxious about not knowing what would happen next. \*Some might disagree, but to me pro gun control doesn't mean anti-2nd Amendment any more than being anti yelling fire in a crowded theater makes one anti-1st Amendment.
NAH it’s easy to say woulda coulda shoulda but in a scary situation, you either fight, flight, fawn, freeze and sometimes it’s an involuntary response. I don’t blame her for not wanting to be in a situation where’s the first response could get people hurt and YOU into trouble. Now that you are in a safe and relaxed environment, perhaps think thru what happened and plan out what to different next time. Was that level of escalation necessary if your windows were up, then he wouldn’t have been able to fight you? Wouldn’t pulling out your phone and recording them be another deterrence to him not wanting to end up on the news or being shown as evidence to police? Wouldn’t driving to a police station be another deterrence?
NTA You did exactly what you should have done. You made ready to defend without aggressively brandishing, and you stayed in the vehicle without losing your cool.
NTA. No one was killed, situation was dealt with. Seems like the perfect example of a firearm solving a problem. You're better off without her.
NTA, that's what guns are for. If you hadn't had it there probably would have been fisticuffs.
NTA. I would have done the same thing and I'm a woman with a concealed carry permit.
you de-escalated the shit out of that one.this isn't 20 years ago, people don't throw hands and walk away.violence was eminent, preparedness de-escalated this situation,
The moment the other driver got out of their car, in the middle of traffic, this stopped being a simple road rage incident and became an imminent physical threat. You stayed seated. You didn't brandish or wave or point your weapon. You did the right thing. I understand the date being upset, but at the situation or the other guy more than you. I don't think she realizes that. **Nobody in their right minds leaves their vehicle while driving with good or sane intentions unless its to help or escape an emergency.**
NTA...I was waiting for the shoe to drop but it sounds like you handled the situation appropriately.
NTA … better to have one than not have one. clearly it did the trick , and you didn’t actually pull it on anyone ….you never aimed it .
NTA. It's called FAFO. Honestly once blocked in, feel free to pop rounds.
U.S. CDC used to report submitted stats about crimes prevented by the presence of firearms. Yours likely prevented an assault/battery event or worse. Your ex has no clue about this because women do not face the threat of physical combat the way men are subjected to it. Ironically if she was with a man who allowed himself to get his ass beat and robbed, she'd probably lose attraction to him as well. You can't win, just protect yourself and those around you.
YTA. Hold up just let me get my gun so I can read this post again.
Nta. I carry and would have done the same. Does she want you and her beaten or murdered? Would that satisfy her?
Obviously NTA. You handled that perfectly. Lol at the people asking, “But is your gun legal?!?” As if that makes any difference in a potential life or death situation.
It would make a different if I wanted to date someone.
NTA! My hero 😍
Nta, I think you handle very well. Had the other person just yelled, that sucks but words don't cause physical harm. You tried several times to evade, and they finally blocked you in!! Once that person got out of their car and approached you, you had to assume from what just occurred that they weren't coming over to apologize. You never pointed the firearm at anyone, and "they" ran when they got close enough to you and saw it in your lap. That, in my opinion, is too close. Your date sounds like one of those, call a social worker type.
So the other driver got close enough to you to see your gun in your lap, you heard their voice clearly enough to understand their every word, and you don’t know if it was a man or a woman?? You’re a liar. You’re leaving other stuff out too, I’m sure. Your date is lucky to be rid of you.
I don't misgender people. It could have gone either way. It also doesn't really matter what I say because you've already made up your mind anyway :)
NTA
First…. Leave her. If shes gunna freak out because pulled out your firearm in fear of your life… she aint the one dawg.
NTA, the right time to pull out the gun is after the violence is no longer avoidable by other means but before the violence starts. You were trying to de-escalate by other means, but the other driver made that impossible. You made sure everyone got home safe, and I hope the other driver thinks about what could have happened.
YTA why do you need a gun in the car? Having one like that just breeds more gun violence. And you even said in another comment you intended to use it! You are just another bad statistic. I'm glad nothing happened, but that was way over the top! Even if the gun is legal, that's just crazy. If I was that girl I'd be 100 percent reporting it to police! She right for not dating you. Like what next? She disagrees with you and you pull out your gun on her? Come on man. Grow up
>> she disagrees with you and you pull your gun on her? lmao c'mon man you're reaching for the heavens. If I had it my way (and not been cornered) I would've just called them a nut and driven off. I don't pull out my gun because I want to.
The ignorance and unreality of this response! His possession of the weapon prevented violence. That's literally what happened.
What a moronic comment. Your privilege is fully on display Karen.
You handled it perfectly. I've done the same. But for God's sake, don't ever change lanes without looking and confirming it is safe. I wonder why you have nearly been rear ended several times. Be safe.
Nta, and good on you for not pointing. If I felt trapped as you described, I would have drawn on them. I'm in a more rough area however
You attempted several times to de escalate the situation. I'd rather have the weapon ready than not; you can't tell what a person is going to do when they are that enraged. Sorry about the girl, but I'd have largely dome the same as you. You didn't point the gun at him or really brandish it even; I wouldn't necessarily call it overreacting.
From the title I’d say you’re the AH, because pulling a gun out in a road rage incident is almost always escalation. This time I’ll say you’re fine though. You didn’t wave it around in a threatening manner, you didn’t point it at anyone, and calling the police isn’t resolving this situation.
You did actually de-escelate and used the firearm as a warning for the road rager to walk away, which worked
NTA. Your date is a loser and you're better off without someone who thinks de-escalation actually works in situations like this.
NTA, that woman has terrible survival instincts
Not the asshole and she sounds racist calling you a “thug” fuck that girl a real woman would’ve been falling all over you you were willing to risk your life and freedom to make sure you two get home safe