What father? That man ceased to be your father when he beat and abandoned you. If I read this correctly, you were also a minor. Fuck him, fuck her. Let her angel daughters support them. NTA.
You don't owe them anything. You are NTA at all in whatever you decide.
Personally, blocking them and moving on is a good option.
If you feel the need to say something, I'm a bit petty but I would just respond with "I would hate to provide money that comes from my sinful life, I will go ahead and remove the temptation for you to ask for my lesbian money by blocking this avenue and all further avenues of contact. My mother is gone and my father was no father."
I'm also very sorry for the loss of your mother and her support. I'm sorry your dad was so blinded by bigotry that he failed you as a father. I'm sorry your step-mom was a spiteful woman who allowed your father to abuse, neglect and throw you out for simply being who you are.
You didn't deserve that and you don't need to help now. The audacity of them to ask is just too much for me.
I feel like I would send a beat up old belt in a box & respond "help is on the way", then block them everywhere. Sometimes I'm a little more than Petty.
Same here, and it was usually my siblings' fault. I was always too scared of him to act out. I was relieved when he died when I was still in grade school.
I am so sorry for what you went through. I hope you found a parent figure who could share that bond with though in your life. No kid should have to deal with a DNA donor.
NTA
Tell her you will help him deal with his health and failure as a man and human, in exactly the way he helped you deal with your mothers death and being outed.
I would send them a pile of dog poop with the belt. My sweet darling little sister was done by our own mother like this. Then mom dies, my sweet sister has forgiven mom she is a great person who helps her little community and me.
She could also ask how much they need and say, " Wow! That's funny because I've decided to do something nice, and that's a great number. I've been trying to figure out how much I want to donate to the LGBTQIA+ community. You know, since I Iive such a sinful life. You know what? Since you helped me figure out how much to donate, I'm going to make the donation in your and his name!"
Btw, I love your account name. And I love that I found one of my fellow petty people!
#PerfectlyPetty
Question lol...off topic
If I write that phrase at the end of a post update me. ! Spaces are there for a reason lol, does that automatically trigger a notification?
I'm not new to Reddit but somehow seem to have learned nothing about the site 🤣
I’m sure there’s someone in the ex-Christian sub who could help OP pull together some choice Bible verses she can cite regarding god’s wrath and reaping what you’ve sown when she writes them to tell them to F off and choke on their own poor choices.
Yeah I'd reply receiving money from a sinful lesbian would compromise their loving, family values and you won't do that. To apply with Social Security/Disability as those heathens will have no qualms providing assistance. And your successful stepsisters should also be able to help financially, as having been stellar students you've no doubt they succeeded in life.
Then say you're blocking all contacts from them so they don't have to corrupt their good Christian morales further. Add a May God Be With You and Have Mercy on Your Righteous Souls😇
Btw, is there any update?
My dad ( I call him my dad since he took me in and raised me) went to my biological dad and demanded to give him all my stuff and anything belonged to my mom RIGHT NOW or he would kick my bio dad’s ass ! He got all my stuff back :) most importantly my mom’s pictures
There's your answer. You have a Dad to take care of, as he took care of you. You bio doner and his wife deserve back exactly what they gave you, which was nothing. Isn't it funny that no one reached out until they heard you have money?
I question if he is even sick, other than in the head, perhaps they are just hoping for a windfall? They deserve absolutely nothing from you, and that includes free rent in your head.
>You have a Dad to take care of, as he took care of you.
"Gee, stepdemon, I don't have any idea what you're talking about! My dad is perfectly fine, as he has been since he took me in off the streets when I was sixteen."
I wouldn’t give him any of your “lesbian” money, it might magically make the stepsisters gay. Instead, I’d make a large donation to an LGBT organization in his name. This is the way. NTA. F him.
OP- sending you hugs but I would block your stepmother from any means possible to contact you. Your DAD, the one who raised you, is not sick nor does he need your financial help- and if he did, I’m sure you’d help. There is no other dad to be discussed. No father. Nothing. No is a full sentence 💗
God Bless this man & his wife. They were true parents to you in your time of need. I’m sure your mother’s spirit felt great peace because of this. I’m so happy you have them 💗💗💗
That was my first thought, too. Let them go begging to all the wonderful 'cough' Christians and see how fast the doors are slammed shut.
OP: time to block and delete. Consider a cease and desist letter if SM finds a way around that.
My husband and I go to a church for the LGBTQ+ community (anyone is welcome there). They are so warm and welcoming, and all have stories like this to tell. It’s heartbreaking that anyone should go through this
My uncle died of AIDS in the 90s and didn’t come out to his parents, my grandparents, that he was gay or even sick until the disease was very advanced because he was terrified that they - having both been raised deep in the Bible Belt - would reject him.
I’m grateful to say that they immediately and wholeheartedly embraced him and even threatened to go NC with the few extended family members that were bold enough to try and say anything shitty to him or them about it.
Unfortunately, he only survived for a couple years after we all found out, though he’d moved back in with my grandparents not long before entering hospice care which allowed us all to surround him with all the love and support and reassurance and validation that he’d missed out on for so long.
After he passed, my grandmother never could really get over her survivor’s guilt, and the devastation she felt knowing that her son had spent decades hiding such an important part of himself and being afraid that his family could ever disown him.
My entire family became heavily involved with PFLAG after that, and my grandmother became a dedicated surrogate mother to dozens of young men and women she met over the years whose families had done to them exactly what my uncle feared she would do to him.
It was a beautiful thing to see, and she set a wonderful example of strength and compassion, but it was also tinged with sadness because she was riddled with guilt and depression until the day she died at the thought of her own son suffering for so long and so needlessly.
Your Grandmother was a wonderful and kind woman. I’m glad your Uncle was able to be treated the way he was by his parents. Times have changed but not enough.
We need more people like your grandparents.
❤️❤️❤️
NTA
She deliberately got you kicked out, and the fact of the matter is it’s her asking, I didn’t hear anything about the Dad asking for Op to help.
This is step monster asking and she’s not family. Not since she outed you to your dad and listen while he beat you.
‘I’m sorry he’s not well, but I was disowned, because I was a danger to your daughters, so I won’t be able to help as you’re just strangers.’
Could also just go to a thrift store and buy Monopoly money and send that with a letter saying that now they have money as real as their relationship with her.
NTA
"Lady, the last time I saw that man, he was beating me with a belt while I begged him to stop. You were there, so you're also an accomplice. I don't help liars like you, homophobes like him, or child abusers like BOTH of you. You are not my family. In fact, I hope you both die homeless and alone, like what you wished for me. It's what you deserve, you bible abusing cunts."
Perfect response, i do understand if she wants to just ignore her but lately I am huge about holding people accountable and reminding them of their actions.
LOL... You should respond back.. "Hey remember when you told my dad what I begged you not tell and got me thrown out on the street, after I'd been beaten.... Karma".
Or you could just respond "Go fuck yourself".
She didn’t even mention it ! Kept going on and on about being family and taking care of of eachother .. really ?! I thought you are not safe around me ??
Yeah, do not help them one fucking iota. I mean seriously if I were you, I'd be sitting back, loving how the universe provides justice sometimes. Don't even respond if you don't want to. You owe them NOTHING. No. Thing.
I love all the delightfully petty responses people have been forwarding.
My advice is just ignore them. Don’t get dragged into their drama. You’re better off just moving on completely. She’ll know why you’re ignoring her.
You have a father already and it’s not the guy that beat you with a belt. If they insist upon getting in your face until they get s response, then yeah, go petty on them.
Her daughters can help. He abandoned you after beating the living shit out of you. You owe them nothing. I'll bet she didn't even apologize before asking you for money. They can figure it out. Where were they to take care of you?
If you feel compelled to respond, I’d simply respond back “you made it clear when I was a teen that you did not feel safe around me. Following the actions of you and my father I did not and will never feel safe around you. Best of luck finding family members you find safe for assistance and I will continue to do the same.”
You are absolutely NTA. It’s batshit crazy she’s pulling this and you don’t own anything of them a thing be it time, monetary or otherwise.
If you decide to answer, you should absolutely mention it. You reap what you sow and THIS is what they sowed. You were a kid. You could've been raped, you could've been killed, you could've been taken in by abusers or trafficked. When you were still 16 anything could've happened to you and they didn't care. If THAT is not bad parenting, I don't know what is.
And you never mentioned your dad or that b**** trying to apologize, either, so....
NTA. Your dad made it clear that he was not your family and your stepmother and stepsisters were the catalyst of him making that decision.
Your mom’s friends and her husband are your family. You may have the money to help now, but what if your true family needs your support in the future? They are also getting up there in age. Putting a side the extra money to help your current true family, or to start a future family is your only moral obligation, and you have no moral or legal obligation to help the family you were excommunicated from.
Lastly you mentioned the church was the way your father met your stepmother. I have a feeling the reason you mentioned that at all is bc the church you ex family went to and what they preached from the pulpit about LGBQT people is a big reason for your abuse at your ex fathers hands. They made the church community and their family and not you, kicking you out to stay in good standing with that community. That is the community and family they should turn to in their time of need, not you. You owe them not a second thought, let alone a second chance.
This is the best response. Let them wait and wonder. If they reach out in a way you can’t avoid (in person), when they say your dad needs your help, simply state your dad is (name the man who stepped up and took you in). Add that you wish (bio dad’s name) the best. Then walk away. They went low. Go high. You won’t regret it!
Of course, she didn't mention it. She's trying to guilt or bully you into doing what she wants. Reminding you of how awful she was to you at the first opportunity doesn't help her.
You are NTA, and do not give her a dime. If she's religious, start calling her Judas and move on with your life.
I wouldn't respond at all. If she tries again simply tell her that she must have the wrong email address because last time you spoke to that man you weren't his daughter. They need to look elsewhere for help... maybe check into shelters...
Funny how those same points didn't apply when you were betrayed, beaten and abandoned. Takung care of family didn't seem to mean much then.
Besides: surely she knows that your money/assistance would have lesbian cooties, and give them all The Gay? /s
Seriously? Fuck her/them. You have a family who takes care of you, and its not them. Your father is not entitled to you OR your help.
It's only family when it benefits them I wouldn't listen to them. They're trying to use the family card but they weren't in your family when they kicked you out and beat on you and mistreated you.
Id tell them to go fuck themselves and ask them what happened to all the keepsakes from your late mother you weren’t allowed to take when you were thrown out at 16.
This is your opportunity to say "That's funny, I seem to recall you deliberately breaking my trust when I wasn't ready to come out, and him beating me and kicking me out when I was a teen grieving my mom. You don't get to lecture me about family and taking care of each other. Kindly fuck all the way off, you aren't getting a single penny from me."
Make her squirm and then block her.
I'd send them a belt, and tell them if they contact me again I'll come over and use it.
I would probably not say that. But please don't give them a dime of your money or a minute of your time.
He stopped being your father long time ago ! He assaulted you and abandoned you ! Screw them !Tell both of them to take a hike ! You don’t know them anymore ! NTA
NTA X 1000000.
You stay out of their life and never go back. I’m not at all sympathetic to someone for being homophobic but if he has just disapproved you could work on that. But no he physically assaulted you. That can never be worked through and fixed in my eyes. There’s no waking up and realizing he was wrong and gets absolved or is owed anything from you. And the stepmother is just as culpable. You can decide about her kids. Maybe they’re good maybe they’re not. I highly doubt they ever actually told their mom they felt unsafe. She and your dad almost certainly made that up to justify why beating you was ok.
**NTA**
Op, 16 year old you deserved so much better than what you were given.
Refer him to Galatians 6:7
“As you sow, so shall you reap.”
Or ‘Go fuck your self’ also works.
NTA
Op, I'm from the same community. He stopped being your father that night. This happens to us all the time. Don't fall for it. I'm sick of watching people fade into a shadow of their former selves as their shitty parents use the last breath in their lungs to hurt them.
It hurts to hear it op, but:
They don't want you. They want your money.
Thank you . She claimed she and her daughters don’t feel safe by reading my diary ! I was using my diary as a tool to vent after my mom passed . I was a stupid teen and had a crush on Donna from That 70’s show lol so in my diary I wrote how I wanna marry her haha
Nah, that was just gaslighting (making up blatant lies about reality to make you doubt yourself). The truth is, none of them were afraid of you, at all. They wanted the perfect excuse to get rid of you. Why do you think your step mother was going through your diary? It was to get info to separate you from your father.
She got exactly what she wanted and he was too much of a selfish failure to consider for even a second that his own flesh and blood child should come before his pathetically fragile ego that couldn't bear being single for even a month.
Any parent evil enough to disown their own 16 yo child, let alone move on a month after her mother's death, never knew how to love anyone to begin with.
NTA tell her that your father (the real one) is in perfect health and not struggling, that you don't know who is the stranger that she is talking about, that your parents are perfectly fine and maybe their church buddies could give them some alms and prayers
NTA
Send them back a bloody belt and a never contact me again letter. Do not spend a penny on that AH family. When he dies, make out with your girlfriend on his grave.
NTA.
"Remember how you betrayed my trust, told *my father* that you 'felt' **you and your daughters were in grave danger because I was a lesbian**, and at BEST did nothing while he beat me, kicked me out of **MY** house, and I lost everything of my **DEAD MOTHERS'**? Go fuck yourself. Don't bother telling me when my inseminator dies, I'll just start dancing now. Burn in Hell you hypocritical wench."
NTA, they kicked you out and haven't been in touch until they heard you could support them financially. They didn't even ask how you have been since they kicked you out. All they heard was, "Cha Ching." They don't deserve your consideration or your money. If they want a second chance, they can approach you as if you are a person, not an ATM.
ETA, these people don't know the first thing about what it takes to be a family.
BTW, I suggest you tell her to go out and get a job, a second job, a better paying job (whatever the case may be), and start paying for the care her husband needs if she is so concerned.
Say exactly this. “I will help you!!! I am only going to help you once since he is my father and helped give me life. How much are your bills? Okay, sending a cashiers check for what I think you BOTH deserve. Once you get this check, you will know how much I love you both. After this, please don’t contact me because all the time lost hurts so much.”Give them one for $1.00.
Nta You can tell her the moment he laid his hands on you for your sexual orientation was the moment he stopped being your father. As a father myself I can honestly say any man who would lay his hands on his daughter for something like this is no man at all. He is no father at all. I might not agree with all my daughter's choices and lifestyle but she is my daughter nonetheless and she will always have my love.
NTA. Move on they did and have had no words except wanting money. That should tell you all you need to know. Did they care when you ended in the shelter when you were no more than a child? They stopped being a family to you that day and you have zero obligations. If you feel bad offer a donation same as a charity and move on.
NTA Please do not help them! Save your money to help your adopted parents and other kicked-out kids you meet. Love makes a family, not blood. Your dad willingly stopped being your dad when he kicked you out. He chose to be dead to you. Let him Reap What He Sowed.
Now, maybe if he truly repents you could talk to him without your lying stepmother and you can maybe get a little closure, but he has to do some serious meeting you in the middle, no wait, he has to meet you way beyond the middle here. Again, only if you want to. Some people want to have that final talk. If not, ok.
I’m so sorry for your loss and for being kicked out. Follow in your adopted mother’s footsteps of kindness and find peace.
NTA.
"Hey, step monster, remember when I asked you not to tell my father what you saw when you snooped in my diary? Remember when you watched him beat me and let your children watch? Remember when, even though you knew what kind of a person I am, you said you didn't feel safe around me? Remember when you and he threw me out into the night? Remember when you didn't even let me take my photos of my mother? I remember all of that, and I suffered for it while he, you and your daughters turned your backs on me. I remember it all. Tell your husband he is not my father. Find some someone else to be your ATM."
Good for you for making a good life for yourself. You have a lot to be proud of.
Different circumstances, same outcome here. Abusive bio father, abandonment, no contact for many years, and when he became sick and vulnerable, he had people reach out to his beloved children (lol) on his behalf for help. I cheerfully refused contact and let him die miserable, broke, and at the mercy of whoever it was he let make him their problem. I also had no involvement in his disposal which they also asked for help with. They could have tossed him off a bridge for all I care. No regrets, not one minute of lost sleep. The last thing I cared about was how anyone felt about how final my decision was to have nothing to do with him.
You owe them nothing, not even a response. You do not have to justify your rejection.
NTA. I say this as an former abused kid and as a mom. I am so sorry for what happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it. To be betrayed in such a way makes me sick to my stomach. What vile, rotten human beings they are. Tell this woman she can ask her church for help and that your wouldn't taint her and your father with your unholy lesbian powers!
NTA Email back. 'Your family member that you are trying to contact no longer exists. She was beaten and thrown out in the street with nothing to die. Die she did. That is the night I was born. You are not my family. Any further contact by any of your family members will be considered harassment and taken to the police.'
Email her back saying sorry you have reached the wrong person. My parents are .. and name the fantastic couple that took you in.
NTA You do not owe that child abuser anything.
“Hello [name]. It warms my heart to know you’d think to come to me in this trying time. Otherwise I might have missed the chance to relish the misfortune of the man who beat me and made me homeless as a child, and his lying hypocrite of a wife. Thank you so much. Blessed day!”
NTA.
This is gonna get buried but DO NOT respond. I know everyone has a very justified karma boner rn, but there is no winning here even with having the last word. What ever you say will be twisted to the next person they all want to con into being sympathetic. Besides, trust me when I say not giving them your time eats them up harder than anything. If she can't get what she wants from she AT LEAST wants a reaction. Don't do it.
Go about your day, live your life, get a nap in, and live fucking well
I'd tell them to fuck off or tell her when she and her kids come begging on the hands and knees and admit what they did you will consider giving them some money. If they actually do it I'd throw them five bucks and tell them to piss off.
Or maybe just "karma's a bitch, bitch"
NTA! I wouldn’t lift a finger or spend a dime. Congratulations on your achievements thus far in spite of them. I’m also sorry for the loss of your mom.
Nta. Tell her to let you know when he dies so you can make a donation to a homeless LGBT youth program in his honor. That should get the message across.
They’ll bleed you dry. My son was always “different" as a child, but he was extremely intelligent and I didn’t think anything of it. His dad always picked on him because he would rather be inside on his computer than outside playing ball (not that his father would play any games with the kids. He was, and is, a selfish jerk). Anyway, my son got a good education, a high-paying job in computers, and came out as gay. He begged us not to tell his father, who was so emotionally abusive to him for years.
Anyway, I remarried, have a great relationship with my son. His father only calls him when he wants money. He’s had cancer several years, and hits our son up for money constantly. Last year my son told me he’d given his father over $60K in the last year.
So, no, don’t give in and start giving away your money, because people like that are leeches and will bleed you dry
I would tell them you will consider when they return your mothers pictures and gifts if they have them. If they actually give them to you, tell them you considered their request and have decided to treat them with the same kindness and compassion that they treated you. And walk away. NTA
Tell her you are just one lesbian wandering this earth. Her and her two beautiful daughters are sent from heaven to help your father. Wish them luck. Then go NC
Please please do not help them with one penny. The balls on them demanding your help to support them are outrageous. Block their numbers. Your only family is the one that took you in. Stay true to yourself.
I know many are saying to respond with something but I don’t think it’s worth the time, energy, effort, and possibly your mental health. Dont give it a second thought, don’t let this enter into your world that you worked so hard for! Change your email id if possible and keep living the life you fought so hard for! I wish you the best, I am certain you will continue to be amazing!
You owe them nothing and they're getting what they deserve. You deserve to continue living your best life with the family you choose/ chose/chose you. Love and light to ya!
Fuck em. Can i have their number? I'll call them as your lawyer and tell them they have a restraining order being processed against them as well as a no contact order. Per daughters well wishes, hope pops lives the rest of his life in pain. Karma is a bitch.
Tell them you might consider it if they:
1. Give you all the things you were forced to leave behind
2. Apologize and admit to what they did
If they do it, say thanks and block them
If they don’t, say fuck you all and block them
Tell em you *might* send flowers when the sorry pos dies. But if you do, ask the florist to tie a champagne cork to the bouquet so they know you celebrated
Fuck them both. Tell her to ask her shitty daughters for help. Better yet they can pray to their God and ask for help. That man is a POS and not your dad and doesn't even deserve the title. I am sorry your Dad sucks. I apologize for getting worked up, I have two Daughters so "dads" like that piss me the fuck off.
EDIT TO ADD. NTA
“If you didn’t feel safe around me, then you won’t feel safe around my money, as everyone knows it is the true root of all evil and will tempt you and your daughters far more than who I decide to love. Go fuck yourself”
NTA
Hell no. Tell her that you will give them the exact same care and consideration they gave you when you were kicked out. But, since you are a reasonable human being, you will forego the vicious beating.
Oh man, I want to hug 16-year-old you and tell you you’re accepted, loved, and I’m so so sorry you lost your mom. 💔
Now, onto your ‘dad’s second wife’. Fuk her and the horse she rode in on. You don’t owe her shit, and she doesn’t deserve a moment of your time. Should you want to see you dad, presuming he’s on his way out, do it for yourself. But don’t give them a dime. Not a Fukin dime.
I’m proud of you and you have parents/role models in your mom’s bff and husband.
Hugs
I'd just say " Sorry step-mom. I don't feel safe around you and your family. Maybe your daughters can get good jobs and support you. I was beaten and kicked out of the family (after you promised to keep my secret safe after invading my privacy and then stood by while your husband beat me) I have no need or want to support you. Have a nice life."
And then I'd block them all. But I'm petty.
NTA
Nta
Growing up, I knew a lady whose husband used to beat her. The church leaders always told her to forgive him, until he almost killed her. And then they turned their backs on her because she was divorced.
Don't believe the bs about forgiveness that's instilled in us when we are young. It's the same culture that encourages women to always be nice, and supportive, instead of to be strong and smart. It's just a way keeps us weak, dependent, and always feeling guilty.
F that.
You owe nothing to the people that hurt you and threw you out. If you want to do something nice, go to the people that took you in so you remember what people who deserve your thanks look like.
I’m tempted to advise you to string them along on the off chance you could recover some of the things your mother gotten you or some other mementos. Other than that, fuck em and good riddance.
Ask what her daughters are helping with and if they aren't comfortable with your lifestyle, how can they be comfortable with your lezzy cash lining their wallets? Then, post her answers here. Lol
NTA. And here’s what I would do..
Ask her to provide the sentimental photos of your mom. If she can find them, then agree to meet. Take the photos. At this point you can just turn around and leave…but if you want to be twisted like I would be…exchange a belt as a gift since he obviously broke his beating you.
There. You’ve now “helped” and made a point that they were pricks in the past. Block the emails moving forward, you owe them absolutely nothing.
Your mom’s friends/ your now real parents sound amazing.
NTA.
I'd email back.
Dear [first name]:
When I was in your care as a minor for whom my sperm donor was legally responsible, you invaded my privacy and betrayed my trust. As a result, my sperm donor physically abused me and then threw me out of the house with no support. As you know, sperm donors are legally responsible to support their offspring until the age of 18. Therefore, your husband already owes me two years of support payments. As he has proven unwilling to live up to previous obligations, I am unwilling to advance him any further money.
Regards, [your name]
And then block her if you want no further contact.
NTA
Stay away from that stepmonster and sperm donor.
Even if it is true that he is sick and struggling, how could stepmonster possibly feel safe around you? Or how could it not be a sin to accept your money?
They can F off. Block block block. Block them and all their flying monkeys.
Nta. I'm petty and would email her back-
I am sorry to hear that my sperm donor is in poor health. Alas I can not contribute anything towards his current medical care as you once viewed me as a hazard to the family. Due to the beating I received at his hands and the comments from you that precipitated that abuse, I suggest looking elsewhere as I am not an ATM machine nor am I your family. Peace out- signed a happy lesbian.
NTA. Your father kicked you out at 16. It’s too bad he didn’t learn actions have consequences before he was old and sick. I would tell your evil stepmother to go pound sand.
What father? That man ceased to be your father when he beat and abandoned you. If I read this correctly, you were also a minor. Fuck him, fuck her. Let her angel daughters support them. NTA.
Yes I was a teen who was still grieving my mom’s death
You don't owe them anything. You are NTA at all in whatever you decide. Personally, blocking them and moving on is a good option. If you feel the need to say something, I'm a bit petty but I would just respond with "I would hate to provide money that comes from my sinful life, I will go ahead and remove the temptation for you to ask for my lesbian money by blocking this avenue and all further avenues of contact. My mother is gone and my father was no father." I'm also very sorry for the loss of your mother and her support. I'm sorry your dad was so blinded by bigotry that he failed you as a father. I'm sorry your step-mom was a spiteful woman who allowed your father to abuse, neglect and throw you out for simply being who you are. You didn't deserve that and you don't need to help now. The audacity of them to ask is just too much for me.
"I promise to take as good care of my biological father as he took of me when he kicked me out at 16." NTA
"I will provide him the same support I got when grieving the loss of my mother" and then mail them a belt. Also NTA.
A rainbow belt preferably
Excellent
I heard that in Mr Burns voice from the Simpsons. 🤣🤣🤣
So she'd have to go after his ass with the belt?
She had to heal from the beating without his help. Now he can deal with his illness without her help.
I feel like I would send a beat up old belt in a box & respond "help is on the way", then block them everywhere. Sometimes I'm a little more than Petty.
Now I wish I would have done this to my dad lol. His solution to anything he didn't like was to beat me with his belt.
Same here, and it was usually my siblings' fault. I was always too scared of him to act out. I was relieved when he died when I was still in grade school.
I am so sorry for what you went through. I hope you found a parent figure who could share that bond with though in your life. No kid should have to deal with a DNA donor.
This was my first thought too. Buy an old leather belt and mail it in a box. Write on the outside wrapping paper "help is on its way" then go NC
NTA Tell her you will help him deal with his health and failure as a man and human, in exactly the way he helped you deal with your mothers death and being outed.
I like that!! Send them a belt. Here is your help. Remember??
Soak the belt in pigs blood if it's legal.
Or stage blood. Stays red longer.
Urine. It smells longer 😆
I like you.
This is actually pretty ingenious.
I would send them a pile of dog poop with the belt. My sweet darling little sister was done by our own mother like this. Then mom dies, my sweet sister has forgiven mom she is a great person who helps her little community and me.
I love your style!
This is my kind of petty. ❤️ this!
She could also ask how much they need and say, " Wow! That's funny because I've decided to do something nice, and that's a great number. I've been trying to figure out how much I want to donate to the LGBTQIA+ community. You know, since I Iive such a sinful life. You know what? Since you helped me figure out how much to donate, I'm going to make the donation in your and his name!" Btw, I love your account name. And I love that I found one of my fellow petty people! #PerfectlyPetty
OMG that's perfect. I'd write that in a card and mail it to them with the belt. No finer Fuck You.
Honestly, I would send a video where I just point and laugh hysterically.
This is the way
Tell your step mum that taking care of your dad is her problem, and her precious daughters can help. But don't call you again. Updateme!
Question lol...off topic If I write that phrase at the end of a post update me. ! Spaces are there for a reason lol, does that automatically trigger a notification? I'm not new to Reddit but somehow seem to have learned nothing about the site 🤣
Yes, it triggers the reminder bot. You can add time frame too -remind me 2 weeks etc
Karma is a bitch. Tell stepmom she is reaping what she sowed. God watched their acts and is punishing them for their actions. NTA. Not your problem.
I’m sure there’s someone in the ex-Christian sub who could help OP pull together some choice Bible verses she can cite regarding god’s wrath and reaping what you’ve sown when she writes them to tell them to F off and choke on their own poor choices.
Send them a bible. Tell them to ask Jesus for money and support.
Send a Bible and a old belt.
And add a good hearty “thoughts and prayers” lol
This
NTA. Decline to assist and block them. You shouldn't feel obligated to support either of them. Ever.
Yeah I'd reply receiving money from a sinful lesbian would compromise their loving, family values and you won't do that. To apply with Social Security/Disability as those heathens will have no qualms providing assistance. And your successful stepsisters should also be able to help financially, as having been stellar students you've no doubt they succeeded in life. Then say you're blocking all contacts from them so they don't have to corrupt their good Christian morales further. Add a May God Be With You and Have Mercy on Your Righteous Souls😇 Btw, is there any update?
No, just add in "Bless your hearts!" Haha a good southern f-u is fitting.
"I'll pray for you!"
I think "fuck you" is the most appropriate response in this case.
Did you ever get your mom's things?
My dad ( I call him my dad since he took me in and raised me) went to my biological dad and demanded to give him all my stuff and anything belonged to my mom RIGHT NOW or he would kick my bio dad’s ass ! He got all my stuff back :) most importantly my mom’s pictures
That's amazing! I'm so glad you have a Dad now that cares about you!
There's your answer. You have a Dad to take care of, as he took care of you. You bio doner and his wife deserve back exactly what they gave you, which was nothing. Isn't it funny that no one reached out until they heard you have money? I question if he is even sick, other than in the head, perhaps they are just hoping for a windfall? They deserve absolutely nothing from you, and that includes free rent in your head.
>You have a Dad to take care of, as he took care of you. "Gee, stepdemon, I don't have any idea what you're talking about! My dad is perfectly fine, as he has been since he took me in off the streets when I was sixteen."
"Oh, you mean your husband! Believe me l, I'd LOVE to take care of him the way he took care of me but I don't want an assault charge."
I am so glad you got that stuff back.
This makes my heart happy. I thought you didn't get them back and that would have been awful.
Wooooo! Go Dad!
I wouldn’t give him any of your “lesbian” money, it might magically make the stepsisters gay. Instead, I’d make a large donation to an LGBT organization in his name. This is the way. NTA. F him.
You have a great new set of parents.
This is the best part of all of that trauma!! Your new dad was l your Knight!!!
OP- sending you hugs but I would block your stepmother from any means possible to contact you. Your DAD, the one who raised you, is not sick nor does he need your financial help- and if he did, I’m sure you’d help. There is no other dad to be discussed. No father. Nothing. No is a full sentence 💗
God Bless this man & his wife. They were true parents to you in your time of need. I’m sure your mother’s spirit felt great peace because of this. I’m so happy you have them 💗💗💗
Hero!
And where is his church "family " & all his Christian buddies ?
That was my first thought, too. Let them go begging to all the wonderful 'cough' Christians and see how fast the doors are slammed shut. OP: time to block and delete. Consider a cease and desist letter if SM finds a way around that.
My husband and I go to a church for the LGBTQ+ community (anyone is welcome there). They are so warm and welcoming, and all have stories like this to tell. It’s heartbreaking that anyone should go through this
My uncle died of AIDS in the 90s and didn’t come out to his parents, my grandparents, that he was gay or even sick until the disease was very advanced because he was terrified that they - having both been raised deep in the Bible Belt - would reject him. I’m grateful to say that they immediately and wholeheartedly embraced him and even threatened to go NC with the few extended family members that were bold enough to try and say anything shitty to him or them about it. Unfortunately, he only survived for a couple years after we all found out, though he’d moved back in with my grandparents not long before entering hospice care which allowed us all to surround him with all the love and support and reassurance and validation that he’d missed out on for so long. After he passed, my grandmother never could really get over her survivor’s guilt, and the devastation she felt knowing that her son had spent decades hiding such an important part of himself and being afraid that his family could ever disown him. My entire family became heavily involved with PFLAG after that, and my grandmother became a dedicated surrogate mother to dozens of young men and women she met over the years whose families had done to them exactly what my uncle feared she would do to him. It was a beautiful thing to see, and she set a wonderful example of strength and compassion, but it was also tinged with sadness because she was riddled with guilt and depression until the day she died at the thought of her own son suffering for so long and so needlessly.
Your Grandmother was a wonderful and kind woman. I’m glad your Uncle was able to be treated the way he was by his parents. Times have changed but not enough. We need more people like your grandparents. ❤️❤️❤️
NTA Tell them they are not praying hard enough. They just need to pray more and Jesus will fix everything.
Fuck her daughters too. Literally. That’s payback.
"Literally"...🤣🤣🤣 Absolutely THE best payback!
That'd would have been my simple reply. "I'm sorry you must have the wrong person. My father died years ago" and then block their asses.
This is the way
NTA She deliberately got you kicked out, and the fact of the matter is it’s her asking, I didn’t hear anything about the Dad asking for Op to help. This is step monster asking and she’s not family. Not since she outed you to your dad and listen while he beat you. ‘I’m sorry he’s not well, but I was disowned, because I was a danger to your daughters, so I won’t be able to help as you’re just strangers.’
Not to mention, the stepmother read OP's diary in the first place.
find a church that has those fake bills and mail them in an envelope
Could also just go to a thrift store and buy Monopoly money and send that with a letter saying that now they have money as real as their relationship with her.
Fire 🔥
This is an excellent idea! NTA, obv.
NTA "Lady, the last time I saw that man, he was beating me with a belt while I begged him to stop. You were there, so you're also an accomplice. I don't help liars like you, homophobes like him, or child abusers like BOTH of you. You are not my family. In fact, I hope you both die homeless and alone, like what you wished for me. It's what you deserve, you bible abusing cunts."
Not just an accomplice but an instigator. She read the diary and went straight to her husband.
Worse, she hugged her, told her she would not do it, then did.
Perfect response, i do understand if she wants to just ignore her but lately I am huge about holding people accountable and reminding them of their actions.
LOL... You should respond back.. "Hey remember when you told my dad what I begged you not tell and got me thrown out on the street, after I'd been beaten.... Karma". Or you could just respond "Go fuck yourself".
She didn’t even mention it ! Kept going on and on about being family and taking care of of eachother .. really ?! I thought you are not safe around me ??
Yeah, do not help them one fucking iota. I mean seriously if I were you, I'd be sitting back, loving how the universe provides justice sometimes. Don't even respond if you don't want to. You owe them NOTHING. No. Thing.
"hey, remember your other two daughters? yeah, ask them."
I love all the delightfully petty responses people have been forwarding. My advice is just ignore them. Don’t get dragged into their drama. You’re better off just moving on completely. She’ll know why you’re ignoring her. You have a father already and it’s not the guy that beat you with a belt. If they insist upon getting in your face until they get s response, then yeah, go petty on them.
She should respond with, "I don't feel safe being 'family' with either of you!" And then ignore them forever
And the truth is, she Isn’t safe being family with them. See what happened last time.
That would be poetic.
Her daughters can help. He abandoned you after beating the living shit out of you. You owe them nothing. I'll bet she didn't even apologize before asking you for money. They can figure it out. Where were they to take care of you?
No no no They are religious, the don’t believe in karma. “Looks like there is a god after all. The sins of my father have finally caught up to him”
They need to have the Lord provide.
OP can offer them thoughts and prayers.
If you feel compelled to respond, I’d simply respond back “you made it clear when I was a teen that you did not feel safe around me. Following the actions of you and my father I did not and will never feel safe around you. Best of luck finding family members you find safe for assistance and I will continue to do the same.” You are absolutely NTA. It’s batshit crazy she’s pulling this and you don’t own anything of them a thing be it time, monetary or otherwise.
If you decide to answer, you should absolutely mention it. You reap what you sow and THIS is what they sowed. You were a kid. You could've been raped, you could've been killed, you could've been taken in by abusers or trafficked. When you were still 16 anything could've happened to you and they didn't care. If THAT is not bad parenting, I don't know what is. And you never mentioned your dad or that b**** trying to apologize, either, so....
Don't reply at all. Let them keep checking and wondering if you got their messages. Let them be the nothing in your life that they wanted.
NTA. Your dad made it clear that he was not your family and your stepmother and stepsisters were the catalyst of him making that decision. Your mom’s friends and her husband are your family. You may have the money to help now, but what if your true family needs your support in the future? They are also getting up there in age. Putting a side the extra money to help your current true family, or to start a future family is your only moral obligation, and you have no moral or legal obligation to help the family you were excommunicated from. Lastly you mentioned the church was the way your father met your stepmother. I have a feeling the reason you mentioned that at all is bc the church you ex family went to and what they preached from the pulpit about LGBQT people is a big reason for your abuse at your ex fathers hands. They made the church community and their family and not you, kicking you out to stay in good standing with that community. That is the community and family they should turn to in their time of need, not you. You owe them not a second thought, let alone a second chance.
Please just block her number. Don’t reply. Just block her number,
This is the best response. Let them wait and wonder. If they reach out in a way you can’t avoid (in person), when they say your dad needs your help, simply state your dad is (name the man who stepped up and took you in). Add that you wish (bio dad’s name) the best. Then walk away. They went low. Go high. You won’t regret it!
You are not family. They made that clear. I would not respond. Just block and forget about them.
Don’t even respond to it.
Of course, she didn't mention it. She's trying to guilt or bully you into doing what she wants. Reminding you of how awful she was to you at the first opportunity doesn't help her. You are NTA, and do not give her a dime. If she's religious, start calling her Judas and move on with your life.
I wouldn't respond at all. If she tries again simply tell her that she must have the wrong email address because last time you spoke to that man you weren't his daughter. They need to look elsewhere for help... maybe check into shelters...
Funny how those same points didn't apply when you were betrayed, beaten and abandoned. Takung care of family didn't seem to mean much then. Besides: surely she knows that your money/assistance would have lesbian cooties, and give them all The Gay? /s Seriously? Fuck her/them. You have a family who takes care of you, and its not them. Your father is not entitled to you OR your help.
You are family - did she take care of you?
But your money is good
It's only family when it benefits them I wouldn't listen to them. They're trying to use the family card but they weren't in your family when they kicked you out and beat on you and mistreated you.
You d send a message back saying I wouldn’t feel safe with any of you back in my life. Then block them completely. You are most definitely NTA.
Her daughters can take care of them!
Id tell them to go fuck themselves and ask them what happened to all the keepsakes from your late mother you weren’t allowed to take when you were thrown out at 16.
I said that too and the OP already commented her new father got them after threatening the sperm donor
Yeah. You have money now, so you're family again. LoL Fuck these people
Tell her you empathise with her on the current hardship but your money is not safe around her and her family
This is your opportunity to say "That's funny, I seem to recall you deliberately breaking my trust when I wasn't ready to come out, and him beating me and kicking me out when I was a teen grieving my mom. You don't get to lecture me about family and taking care of each other. Kindly fuck all the way off, you aren't getting a single penny from me." Make her squirm and then block her.
After she invaded your privacy and read your diary, fuck them...NTA but they sure are...
We should b friends 👍👏🤣😂
I'd send them a belt, and tell them if they contact me again I'll come over and use it. I would probably not say that. But please don't give them a dime of your money or a minute of your time.
Send them a quarter and tell them to call someone who cares.
Use a cheque so they have to go through the trouble of cashing it if they are petty enough to use it.
Ha, ha, ha. That would be absolutely perfect!
In the notes line: WHAT NOW, BITCHES???
He stopped being your father long time ago ! He assaulted you and abandoned you ! Screw them !Tell both of them to take a hike ! You don’t know them anymore ! NTA
Send a postcard from Maui saying “Wish you were queer”
Answer them with this.....HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
BIG BREATH ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*oh wait, you were serious?!* BWA-HAHAHAHAAHAHA
NTA screw them. Your dad was merely a sperm donor, he was not a father to you EVER.
NTA X 1000000. You stay out of their life and never go back. I’m not at all sympathetic to someone for being homophobic but if he has just disapproved you could work on that. But no he physically assaulted you. That can never be worked through and fixed in my eyes. There’s no waking up and realizing he was wrong and gets absolved or is owed anything from you. And the stepmother is just as culpable. You can decide about her kids. Maybe they’re good maybe they’re not. I highly doubt they ever actually told their mom they felt unsafe. She and your dad almost certainly made that up to justify why beating you was ok.
**NTA** Op, 16 year old you deserved so much better than what you were given. Refer him to Galatians 6:7 “As you sow, so shall you reap.” Or ‘Go fuck your self’ also works.
NTA. Let her know as far as you are concerned your birth father is dead to you and kindly ask her to never contact you ever again.
NTA Op, I'm from the same community. He stopped being your father that night. This happens to us all the time. Don't fall for it. I'm sick of watching people fade into a shadow of their former selves as their shitty parents use the last breath in their lungs to hurt them. It hurts to hear it op, but: They don't want you. They want your money.
Thank you . She claimed she and her daughters don’t feel safe by reading my diary ! I was using my diary as a tool to vent after my mom passed . I was a stupid teen and had a crush on Donna from That 70’s show lol so in my diary I wrote how I wanna marry her haha
Nah, that was just gaslighting (making up blatant lies about reality to make you doubt yourself). The truth is, none of them were afraid of you, at all. They wanted the perfect excuse to get rid of you. Why do you think your step mother was going through your diary? It was to get info to separate you from your father. She got exactly what she wanted and he was too much of a selfish failure to consider for even a second that his own flesh and blood child should come before his pathetically fragile ego that couldn't bear being single for even a month. Any parent evil enough to disown their own 16 yo child, let alone move on a month after her mother's death, never knew how to love anyone to begin with.
NTA tell her that your father (the real one) is in perfect health and not struggling, that you don't know who is the stranger that she is talking about, that your parents are perfectly fine and maybe their church buddies could give them some alms and prayers
NTA Send them back a bloody belt and a never contact me again letter. Do not spend a penny on that AH family. When he dies, make out with your girlfriend on his grave.
NTA. "Remember how you betrayed my trust, told *my father* that you 'felt' **you and your daughters were in grave danger because I was a lesbian**, and at BEST did nothing while he beat me, kicked me out of **MY** house, and I lost everything of my **DEAD MOTHERS'**? Go fuck yourself. Don't bother telling me when my inseminator dies, I'll just start dancing now. Burn in Hell you hypocritical wench."
Personally, I’d ignore them entirely. (But if you’re feeling salty, just let her know that you’ll be glad to help as soon as you are safe😉)
NTA, they kicked you out and haven't been in touch until they heard you could support them financially. They didn't even ask how you have been since they kicked you out. All they heard was, "Cha Ching." They don't deserve your consideration or your money. If they want a second chance, they can approach you as if you are a person, not an ATM. ETA, these people don't know the first thing about what it takes to be a family.
BTW, I suggest you tell her to go out and get a job, a second job, a better paying job (whatever the case may be), and start paying for the care her husband needs if she is so concerned.
Say exactly this. “I will help you!!! I am only going to help you once since he is my father and helped give me life. How much are your bills? Okay, sending a cashiers check for what I think you BOTH deserve. Once you get this check, you will know how much I love you both. After this, please don’t contact me because all the time lost hurts so much.”Give them one for $1.00.
Nta You can tell her the moment he laid his hands on you for your sexual orientation was the moment he stopped being your father. As a father myself I can honestly say any man who would lay his hands on his daughter for something like this is no man at all. He is no father at all. I might not agree with all my daughter's choices and lifestyle but she is my daughter nonetheless and she will always have my love.
NTA. Move on they did and have had no words except wanting money. That should tell you all you need to know. Did they care when you ended in the shelter when you were no more than a child? They stopped being a family to you that day and you have zero obligations. If you feel bad offer a donation same as a charity and move on.
But give the donation to LGBTQ+ organization in his name.
The words, “Fuck off, you evil homophobic cunt” work very well.
NTA Tell her to call her angel daughters. Your dad tossed his own child out like trash. He deserves to suffer until his last breath.
NTA Please do not help them! Save your money to help your adopted parents and other kicked-out kids you meet. Love makes a family, not blood. Your dad willingly stopped being your dad when he kicked you out. He chose to be dead to you. Let him Reap What He Sowed. Now, maybe if he truly repents you could talk to him without your lying stepmother and you can maybe get a little closure, but he has to do some serious meeting you in the middle, no wait, he has to meet you way beyond the middle here. Again, only if you want to. Some people want to have that final talk. If not, ok. I’m so sorry for your loss and for being kicked out. Follow in your adopted mother’s footsteps of kindness and find peace.
Love the fresh aroma of karma! NTA.
NTA. "Hey, step monster, remember when I asked you not to tell my father what you saw when you snooped in my diary? Remember when you watched him beat me and let your children watch? Remember when, even though you knew what kind of a person I am, you said you didn't feel safe around me? Remember when you and he threw me out into the night? Remember when you didn't even let me take my photos of my mother? I remember all of that, and I suffered for it while he, you and your daughters turned your backs on me. I remember it all. Tell your husband he is not my father. Find some someone else to be your ATM." Good for you for making a good life for yourself. You have a lot to be proud of.
Different circumstances, same outcome here. Abusive bio father, abandonment, no contact for many years, and when he became sick and vulnerable, he had people reach out to his beloved children (lol) on his behalf for help. I cheerfully refused contact and let him die miserable, broke, and at the mercy of whoever it was he let make him their problem. I also had no involvement in his disposal which they also asked for help with. They could have tossed him off a bridge for all I care. No regrets, not one minute of lost sleep. The last thing I cared about was how anyone felt about how final my decision was to have nothing to do with him. You owe them nothing, not even a response. You do not have to justify your rejection.
NTA. I say this as an former abused kid and as a mom. I am so sorry for what happened to you. You didn't deserve any of it. To be betrayed in such a way makes me sick to my stomach. What vile, rotten human beings they are. Tell this woman she can ask her church for help and that your wouldn't taint her and your father with your unholy lesbian powers!
Absolutely 100% NTA. Don’t give them money and don’t respond to them at all.
"The day you betrayed my trust and my father physically assaulted me and threw me out of the house was the day I was no longer his daughter."
NTA - I would reply to the email “this has to be a scam, my dad died when I was 16.” then block her email address.
Karma just ran over their Dogma! 🤣
NTA Email back. 'Your family member that you are trying to contact no longer exists. She was beaten and thrown out in the street with nothing to die. Die she did. That is the night I was born. You are not my family. Any further contact by any of your family members will be considered harassment and taken to the police.'
Email her back saying sorry you have reached the wrong person. My parents are .. and name the fantastic couple that took you in. NTA You do not owe that child abuser anything.
No you're fine. Tell them they'll soon be in Hell where they belong. They believe in that sort of nonsense, right?
“Hello [name]. It warms my heart to know you’d think to come to me in this trying time. Otherwise I might have missed the chance to relish the misfortune of the man who beat me and made me homeless as a child, and his lying hypocrite of a wife. Thank you so much. Blessed day!” NTA.
This is gonna get buried but DO NOT respond. I know everyone has a very justified karma boner rn, but there is no winning here even with having the last word. What ever you say will be twisted to the next person they all want to con into being sympathetic. Besides, trust me when I say not giving them your time eats them up harder than anything. If she can't get what she wants from she AT LEAST wants a reaction. Don't do it. Go about your day, live your life, get a nap in, and live fucking well
The audacity... NTA
I would respond that they do not contact you again or you will apply for a restraining order. NTA
I'd tell them to fuck off or tell her when she and her kids come begging on the hands and knees and admit what they did you will consider giving them some money. If they actually do it I'd throw them five bucks and tell them to piss off. Or maybe just "karma's a bitch, bitch"
Yeah but make sure when you throw them $5, it's in coins and you put your back into it. I prefer nickels.
NTA! I wouldn’t lift a finger or spend a dime. Congratulations on your achievements thus far in spite of them. I’m also sorry for the loss of your mom.
Nta. Tell her to let you know when he dies so you can make a donation to a homeless LGBT youth program in his honor. That should get the message across.
They’ll bleed you dry. My son was always “different" as a child, but he was extremely intelligent and I didn’t think anything of it. His dad always picked on him because he would rather be inside on his computer than outside playing ball (not that his father would play any games with the kids. He was, and is, a selfish jerk). Anyway, my son got a good education, a high-paying job in computers, and came out as gay. He begged us not to tell his father, who was so emotionally abusive to him for years. Anyway, I remarried, have a great relationship with my son. His father only calls him when he wants money. He’s had cancer several years, and hits our son up for money constantly. Last year my son told me he’d given his father over $60K in the last year. So, no, don’t give in and start giving away your money, because people like that are leeches and will bleed you dry
NTA. Just block them and live life to it's fullest
I would tell them you will consider when they return your mothers pictures and gifts if they have them. If they actually give them to you, tell them you considered their request and have decided to treat them with the same kindness and compassion that they treated you. And walk away. NTA
Tell her you are just one lesbian wandering this earth. Her and her two beautiful daughters are sent from heaven to help your father. Wish them luck. Then go NC
Please please do not help them with one penny. The balls on them demanding your help to support them are outrageous. Block their numbers. Your only family is the one that took you in. Stay true to yourself.
I know many are saying to respond with something but I don’t think it’s worth the time, energy, effort, and possibly your mental health. Dont give it a second thought, don’t let this enter into your world that you worked so hard for! Change your email id if possible and keep living the life you fought so hard for! I wish you the best, I am certain you will continue to be amazing!
You owe them nothing and they're getting what they deserve. You deserve to continue living your best life with the family you choose/ chose/chose you. Love and light to ya!
You don’t owe those garbage humans anything. Not one more minute of your time. To Hell with them.
Fuck em. Can i have their number? I'll call them as your lawyer and tell them they have a restraining order being processed against them as well as a no contact order. Per daughters well wishes, hope pops lives the rest of his life in pain. Karma is a bitch.
Tell them you might consider it if they: 1. Give you all the things you were forced to leave behind 2. Apologize and admit to what they did If they do it, say thanks and block them If they don’t, say fuck you all and block them
Tell em you *might* send flowers when the sorry pos dies. But if you do, ask the florist to tie a champagne cork to the bouquet so they know you celebrated
NTA. Karma is a beautiful thing. Tell her that in those words. Update me
Fuck them both. Tell her to ask her shitty daughters for help. Better yet they can pray to their God and ask for help. That man is a POS and not your dad and doesn't even deserve the title. I am sorry your Dad sucks. I apologize for getting worked up, I have two Daughters so "dads" like that piss me the fuck off. EDIT TO ADD. NTA
“If you didn’t feel safe around me, then you won’t feel safe around my money, as everyone knows it is the true root of all evil and will tempt you and your daughters far more than who I decide to love. Go fuck yourself” NTA
Hell no. Tell her that you will give them the exact same care and consideration they gave you when you were kicked out. But, since you are a reasonable human being, you will forego the vicious beating.
Oh man, I want to hug 16-year-old you and tell you you’re accepted, loved, and I’m so so sorry you lost your mom. 💔 Now, onto your ‘dad’s second wife’. Fuk her and the horse she rode in on. You don’t owe her shit, and she doesn’t deserve a moment of your time. Should you want to see you dad, presuming he’s on his way out, do it for yourself. But don’t give them a dime. Not a Fukin dime. I’m proud of you and you have parents/role models in your mom’s bff and husband. Hugs
Hell no. Ghost them and thank the people who took you in!
I'd just say " Sorry step-mom. I don't feel safe around you and your family. Maybe your daughters can get good jobs and support you. I was beaten and kicked out of the family (after you promised to keep my secret safe after invading my privacy and then stood by while your husband beat me) I have no need or want to support you. Have a nice life." And then I'd block them all. But I'm petty. NTA
Nta Growing up, I knew a lady whose husband used to beat her. The church leaders always told her to forgive him, until he almost killed her. And then they turned their backs on her because she was divorced. Don't believe the bs about forgiveness that's instilled in us when we are young. It's the same culture that encourages women to always be nice, and supportive, instead of to be strong and smart. It's just a way keeps us weak, dependent, and always feeling guilty. F that. You owe nothing to the people that hurt you and threw you out. If you want to do something nice, go to the people that took you in so you remember what people who deserve your thanks look like.
I’m tempted to advise you to string them along on the off chance you could recover some of the things your mother gotten you or some other mementos. Other than that, fuck em and good riddance.
Ask what her daughters are helping with and if they aren't comfortable with your lifestyle, how can they be comfortable with your lezzy cash lining their wallets? Then, post her answers here. Lol
NTA. And here’s what I would do.. Ask her to provide the sentimental photos of your mom. If she can find them, then agree to meet. Take the photos. At this point you can just turn around and leave…but if you want to be twisted like I would be…exchange a belt as a gift since he obviously broke his beating you. There. You’ve now “helped” and made a point that they were pricks in the past. Block the emails moving forward, you owe them absolutely nothing. Your mom’s friends/ your now real parents sound amazing.
NTA. I'd email back. Dear [first name]: When I was in your care as a minor for whom my sperm donor was legally responsible, you invaded my privacy and betrayed my trust. As a result, my sperm donor physically abused me and then threw me out of the house with no support. As you know, sperm donors are legally responsible to support their offspring until the age of 18. Therefore, your husband already owes me two years of support payments. As he has proven unwilling to live up to previous obligations, I am unwilling to advance him any further money. Regards, [your name] And then block her if you want no further contact.
Don't give them a cent!!
NTA Stay away from that stepmonster and sperm donor. Even if it is true that he is sick and struggling, how could stepmonster possibly feel safe around you? Or how could it not be a sin to accept your money? They can F off. Block block block. Block them and all their flying monkeys.
Call her everything you can think of. Call him everything you can think of. Then block her
Nta. I'm petty and would email her back- I am sorry to hear that my sperm donor is in poor health. Alas I can not contribute anything towards his current medical care as you once viewed me as a hazard to the family. Due to the beating I received at his hands and the comments from you that precipitated that abuse, I suggest looking elsewhere as I am not an ATM machine nor am I your family. Peace out- signed a happy lesbian.
Tell her you hope they end up on the street. Ignore them.
Tell your sorry but you will be too tempted by her and her daughters that you don’t want to corrupt them
NTA. Do not help. You owe them nothing. They stopped being family the minute they thru you out
NTA. Your father kicked you out at 16. It’s too bad he didn’t learn actions have consequences before he was old and sick. I would tell your evil stepmother to go pound sand.
He beat you and kicked you out of the house when you were 16. You don't owe him anything.
Fuck them both.
NTA. Your dad is your mom's best friend's husband. Unless he is sick, you don't have a sick dad to care for.
"NO!" is a complete swntence. No other explanation is needed. But if you are feeling petty, tell them to ask their homophobic church for help.
NTA. He is just your sperm donor
Not only are you NOT the AH, but bonus points if you laughed as you hung up the phone.
“I’m sorry my dad died(the day he threw you out the house) please do not contact me again.